Vidui in Judaism (Pt II) | Rabbi Shai Finkelstein | September 9th 2025

Hello everyone. So we will continue with just I would like again to dedicate this for this for the entire semester by their families. should be. Okay. So, we completed first part of the sh last week regarding the ramifications of the vidui and the idea of the Ramban dealing with the idea of fazaka. Uh not that the Ramban talk about fazaka. He talked about another vidui. Filazaka really was composed probably by theam. Okay. So that's 19th century. So 20th 19th 20th century. So that's not that ancient that old. We picked up on it and then we somehow attached it to the vidui. So now what I would like to do is to talk about vidi. So we on page three. There are no numbers. So don't look for numbers. So not the first one, not the second one, it's the third one. Okay. So what is ikarel vidi? which means what's the main essence of uh of the vidi and um and the says like that. So what do you say in the vid? You god, you know all the secrets, you know all the mysteries, you know everything that it's uh it's sealed, you know everything. Which means almost like an acknowledgement that what I can't hide. Okay. From the depth of my heart, which we are not that familiar with it. We know that we say in really almost at the beginning of the and master of all the universe. Our sins are too great, too many to count. And our transgressions are also too great to count. God, before I was born, I was not worthy to be born. that now when I'm born or I was created just dust and ashes in my life even more so when I die so I'm in front of you like a vessel which is basically I'm filled with what with shame and and embarrassment please God make it that I will not sin and whatever I already transgressed meaning erase with your compassion but please God don't send any afflictions to me but just rather help me to erase it by your compassion and that's what had all year long and what suggested he said to the main essence. You can say whatever you want in a way. There are so many different variations for a vidui but the main point or the main essence and if without that you didn't say vidi is what you know it's very hard it's very easy to hide behind nice words okay you god know everything you are so great but don't what you don't say I committed a sin okay so somewhat you are missing the point vu is the idea of confession question is what? Say it. Say it. You need to say I committed a sin. Yes. >> Say you're hiding behind other people. >> Okay. We'll talk about the plurality aspect of vidi. But that's a little bit later on. I was in front of and he said you already have an answer. When the says in terms of he's the representative of the community stood up which means stand up that means what that's the main essence of vidi so the main essence of I'll take you in a minute um the main essence of vidi is what isalan yes >> not a very interesting change in the we say in Right. So that's by the way >> is there other >> yes there are many but um that will be probably a different what's the difference between okay there are so many different variations of seems to be the same thing but it's not okay so that's the idea the recognition the internalization of Okay, now this one is complicated. So I'm just giving you a head heads up. It's not that complicated. We'll just going to make it complicated and then we will resolve it. Okay. So okay, do you need to detail the sins? A and B, do you need to continue to or to basically to return to the sins that you did last year but you didn't do let's say this year? Do you still need to include them in the vidun? >> The what? >> How do you remember preparation for make lists? >> There are certain things that you probably remember >> last year. Last year this year >> Yeah. But so you are sure you you basically erased them and they're okay. >> I didn't say that. >> So why not to say them? The fact that you didn't do them does not mean that what that you already erased them or maybe you are correct. If I didn't do them that's the main point of of confession. I'm not going to do it again. So if I didn't so why should I go back there, as you can understand there's tremendous amount of psychology here. >> But you say it as a as a group. So it if it doesn't uh uh concern you, you're still part of that. And maybe if you did it, you kind of are saying that >> it might. By the way, I don't know if you ever saw the list sometime some have a list under every whatever. So there is a list. Do you read that list? >> Now some of you read the lists. Okay. What do you think? Like there are like say say say say say say say say say say say say 10 examples for everything when I look at these 10 things what do you what do you have in mind did you do any of them one of them >> so many connected to the map so many >> right and many of them we don't we didn't do and many of them we probably did right or at least some of them but it's very interesting because many of the things on the list is like what I I never did it or at least I don't think I did it and it's little hard to remember if you did that or not. So, it's a call probably for mindfulness and some kind of recollections before before Yumip. But we will get there. We'll get there. Don't don't >> All right. So, that's what Mi suggested. Basically says even if you didn't do it, someone else did it. So, we come as a collective. >> Yeah. It also might be that it's not Yeah. It's not the sin itself. It's like the wrong Yeah. Okay. It might be. But let's see. Let's see. Let's start. Really? We should see the source >> very successful and something happened to him. He can't admit it. So he keeps going. >> Right. No, that's correct. What Nfali is suggesting he says sometimes I mean if you don't start with the recognition of the sin you will not be able to elevate yourself you will not be able to solve it >> right >> something >> right not to recognize the sin >> talk it out afraid to talk about >> right Right. Correct. That's true. Yeah. They basically he says that sometimes it's very hard especially for successful people when they fail they it's very hard for them to recognize the failure but when there is a group so it might help them because they are a they are not by themselves and b in a way they can not hide but they can the participation with the collective helps them to also reveal what what they need to reveal. Okay good. So take a look at the So the sins that you confess on them this year, you don't need to repeat them next year. However, but if you did them again, so obviously what you need to confess. Confess on the but if you didn't do them and you repeated a confession on them. which means according to the first opinion don't worry there are many other opinions first opinion says what I committed the sin last year I confessed this year I didn't do it and on yonipur I continue to confess for that sin that I didn't do this year it's like a dog who goes back to his spit and like a unsophisticated person who goes back to his stupidity which means why would you do it to yourself why Would you confess on a sin that you didn't do this year? It's like you are missing it. Like you want to remind yourself that you did it once. Don't just really cut. You didn't do item. Move on. Don't say it. That's the first opinion. That's the first opinion. First opinion. Let's just let's just try to let's just try to get some opinions together and then we will open it up for discussion. I promise. And I also promise I'm going to ignore all the hands. So don't don't raise them. I will stop and then we can have an a discussion. Exactly the opposite. You should praise that person who repeat confession on sins even he even if he or she didn't do them. Why says I know my sins. I know my transgressions and my sin. It's always in front of me. So I will never forget it even if I'm not going to do it. That's in a way a deterrent not to do it. Exactly the opposite. You should be praised by doing that. You see the the gamut of the the gap between first opinion and second opinion. We'll talk about it in a minute or two. So according to this opinion, what would he do? We like a dog who goes back to his spit like the first opinion. Now meaning he says what does it mean like a dog that goes back to his pit is that if you do a sin if you commit a sin and then you commit it again and then you commit it again you think that is what it's not that it's really mutar but for you it's not a sin anymore. Yeah, you get used to it. And when you get used to it, [Music] okay, before we open for questions, let's just try to structure something. According to the first opinion, you should not repeat confession on sins that you didn't do. Second opinion says exactly the opposite. You should and that's what David says. Now when we look at such an such a debate we obviously I mean obviously there is a ramification do you do it or not if you I'm the rabbi and you come to ask me rabbi I didn't do this sin um you know should I confess it or not so I need to make a decision here but leave the for a second let's talk about the behind it according to the first opinion in a way when I look at the past if I didn't do something Why would you want to go back to the past? It happened. You confessed. You learned your lessons. Enough. Move on. Cut it. Because if not, it can what? It can sink you. It can basically bring you back to where you were before. So, we don't want it. We want what? To cut what you are now to what you were before. The second opinion says no exactly the opposite. Carry the past with you in order to what? To help you to guarantee not to do it again. Now what's the risk? The risk is it that can sink you. What's the risk with the first opinion that you would think, oh, you know, I didn't do it this year, so I'll forget about it. And then the next year, you're going to what? to do it again because there is nothing to deter you from doing it. A B we can also think about the psychological component of what I will call >> chuva. If you are really sincere with chuva there is definitely a risk of depression because depression Yeah. or in Hebrew depression. And why? Because you look at yourself and say, "I cannot believe that that's what I did." And if that what I did, who am I to what to do? Chuva. I'm not worthy of it. Which means it can take you really, really down. On the other hand, in psychology, exactly the opposite. Confront your past, overcome it, and show yourself that what? that you can do it. This is a subjective thing. This is not something that I can give you a formula. Okay, take it three times a day and you'll be fine. Every person has his or her unique DNA and we here I can I'm not going to but I can have a survey here. How do you deal with the past? And each one of you will come probably with a different way. Yeah, there will going to be some commonality but there is going to be a unique way of dealing with the past. So therefore there are other possibilities to explain this but we understand that this is not only about to repeat it or not but it's really about what the nature of chuva and the process of chuva. Okay now open for questions or comments. Yes. I just I think that as humans we can never feel that we've totally overcome something >> and >> and so we have to go is with the second one. >> Okay. So Susie suggest let's go with the second one. It makes sense. Why? Because you always need some kind of a reminder. Okay. Because if not we know ourselves. We'll go back. Yes. not repeated. Okay. Then it's understood that you got because you're here this year. You got to last year and so you might be co-air in the >> I will need to take a side and I don't I have no guarantees that the fact that we are here this year is because we had kapar for that scen or not. It might be for so many different things. I cannot do I cannot make those calculation. I'm not rejecting it. It might work. I cannot do that. Meaning I cannot accept it for myself. I'm not saying maybe others. Yes, I cannot make this. I don't know. You have people who are still alive even though they committed more sins this year than last year. Why? Yes. >> I just remember doing this saying these things when I was a teenager. And I said, "Why am I saying it? I have I don't even come close to doing most of it." But possibly, is that like a warning? You're saying it as a kind of reminder or an instruction. Don't do it. >> So that's very close to what Susie says. Let's just make a like constant reminders. Very good. Yes. >> That Even if you do cha for the sin, it still affects you. What you do affects your personality, your character and stay with you and you have to continue. >> Okay, everyone likes the second opinion. I see. But uh I'll take it in a second. Just a second. It might be that there is kapara for one thing, but every sin is multi-layer, which means there are the layers that are revealed and then there are other layers, right? It might be that you did something and you think no one saw it but someone saw it and he was affected because he looked at you and says oh he's a big rabbi if he does it I can do that right and he says it to another friend now you have no idea meaning there are some things that we don't are not even aware and therefore in every and also more you learn now you know that the sin that you did might go even deeper than you thought last year right so it's not only as a reminder but it's like to try to achieve atonement for let's call it the deeper layers of the sin. Okay. K didn't repeat it that I didn't I think I but it actually came inside. >> Ah okay. Sometimes you know repeat you're repeating a sin that you didn't even know that it was. Okay. That's another possibility. Yes. >> Repeat the question. >> No it's not a question. Was a comment. >> I mean a comment. >> The comment was that maybe because you did it so many times you don't even know that it is a sin. And now then you recognize it was a sin. Yes. I would just say that we always >> meaning you're saying that I think if I understand you correctly I think you're talking a little bit more about the what >> um if I understood you correctly so please correct me is that basically I mean I think you to you took a little bit to a to a different path which means I should say even sins that I didn't do because the human condition is such that maybe I can do them. So in a way it's like a it's like a new what do you call it a preemptive you know it's a preemptive confession meaning I'm I'm already confessing for things that maybe I didn't do them but I am definitely capable of doing it. Okay thanks I I understood. So as you can see we can definitely spend an hour now trying to get these two opinions straight but let's continue. So we have some kind of an idea of what's going on between these two opinions. Now a second uh part of the vidi. So first we spoke about what's the main essence of vidi katan. Then we spoke about what what should you say? Do you should you should you repeat sins that you didn't do or no? Now what about detailing to say all the details of the scene. Should you say all the details or you should say it in general? Okay. According to one opinion, you need to what? Not just to say I I didn't have but details. How do we know? Not the is quoting the mosh raenu saysdah. This nation committed a a grievance, a grievous sin, a tremendous sin. And what is the sin? They committed for themselves a golden calf. >> Right? So, which means what? Praiseworthy is the person who what he covers the sin. >> He does not want to what to share too much. He doesn't want to what to detail the sin. So what does it mean that says general and then right the details. So what is going to do with that? Mosha says toem of the world. What does it mean that it says in the in a way Moshe is blaming God. You gave them too much gold. >> Justification. Exactly. So it's not anything about the detailing of the scene. It's just about Moshe is trying to what to help out and to justify what they did or at least to blame someone else. And then he says so now the is bringing two biblical figures. and basically says one of them says please mention my sin in detail and one says please don't Moshe says please detail my sin so everyone would know exactly why I was not allowed to go into the land of Israel David says don't please don't say anything about what I did why one would say yes the other one would say no so the says like that So we have a parable. Parable for what? So two women are being brought to bed and both both of them are being judged. One she had an affair and the one just ate fruits from the she was not allowed to. So obviously you understand minuscule sin versus what major came. [Music] Which means the one who ate the fruits from the shvit says please let everyone know why I'm being judged. I don't want them to think that I had an affair. Right? So what did they do? They put fruits from figs from the and they put it as a necklace. So now everyone knows that what that she's the one that ate the fruits of the other one on the other hand that was not only okay that was something much more much more severe. So now take a look at David. He has he had some little bit of okay that he said you know what maybe I should uh try to suppress it and to hide it. Musher Rabenu says I want everyone to know why I was judged. right with me. So the idea is is that it become now somewhat subjective. Now if we talk about um if we talk about the second part of the which is really should you say the sin in in detail. So on one hand we can say if we say that the main essence of vidu is that I I confess that I committed a sin. say what was the sin right don't say it in general that how is that going to help you in the process of chuva right if you don't really by this you know okay I guess all of us is most of all I guess everyone besides me it's grandchildren okay but you remember as parents a child come and you caught him doing something and then he comes he or she whatever says what is one of The first reactions of parents, >> apologize, >> what do you apologize for, right? Oh, you know what? Husband and wife, when a husband says to his wife, sorry, right? What? >> No, no, leave the the flowers is the obvious. But the first thing that the wife ask is, "What for?" Right? Or just in case the husbands mostly when they wake up in the morning, they immediately say, "Why? What? Sorry for the day." Right? So, you say it in advance. So the thing is is what ma no. So that's not that terrible believe me. So what do we have here? You want to ask the person who asked for forgiveness what's for tell me tell because you can say oh I'm just sorry that I made you upset but I want you to go through the process to so you know what was wrong. Right? So this is a way like an al if bet it's like an ABC of of of confession. How can I understand that you shouldn't say it in like say it in details? So we also know that in any process there is always the details and then there is the big picture. Sometimes when people are so immersed with the small details they don't see the big picture. As you can see, the entire process of confession is very similar to almost every other process. Do you want people to be bogged down to the details of the details of the details of the details and then they will not really see the big picture or they will be so embarrassed or they will not be able to go through what through the next stage or you tell the people. Yes, that's the process. If you really really want to have a full chuva, complete wholesome chva, you need to go through all the details. Yes. >> He wrote to heal it and in he talks about his and ever. >> No. >> But why saying that wants to act as a detail? That's a question. >> I'll give you an example from his son. >> The question was why would the vid himself says, right? So he says, by the way, when he said, he didn't know it would be written. >> The what? >> Oh, so he wrote and he says, right, but it's for me, not for others. Now everyone knows what he did obviously but he says from there they learn don't say it in public don't say the details just for you now which after died says the following okay that His heart was not as wholesome as his father because of the women and everything. The in Shabbat says the following now didn't say that because he already died but the assumed that that's what would say he would prefer to be a which means to clean gutters if I'm not mistaken sewers. Thank you. Then right to clean and that the Tanakh would not say on him that his heart was not as wholesome as his father's heart which means the in the etern eternality. There's no word like that. There's no word like that. >> No eternal eternal eternity. >> Eternity. eternity. Okay, I thought that eternality would be a nice word. Maybe we should make it up. Um, but the idea of what we call in Hebrew meaning every child is going to and he's going to see that what who built the beta mikdash and was called and had so many so much potential. He ended his life with what his heart was not >> heart. So the idea is in a way David says let me deal with you God and Moshe says no I want everyone to know why I was punished. Why? because I don't want people to try to what to associate other sins to me such as now you will be surprised but this is incredible midrash the midrash says you remember after the Moshe pitched his tent somewhere else right so everyone who needed to ask a question had to go what to Mosheren so it says um I'll give you two midashim So they watched Moshe after he left the camp and he went to the tent. Right? So the ashami brings two opinions. One op first opinion is that they looked at Moshe and they said, "Wow, true. Wow, look at this. A human being and see what he can accomplish spiritually. I wish that my kids will be like him." That sounds right. Wonderful. Right. Do you want to hear the second opinion? Second opinion is he gains some weight. He eats well, nice pants, he gets paid well. See, the religious business is pretty good. He's making money on us. He's stealing from us. The same person who what? who gave a detailed report financially after the Mishkan to the last penny. He was blamed or accused by taking away from Israel. A B some men were suspicious that Moshe, God forbid, has an affair with their wives. Why? Because their wives had to leave the camp and to go to his tent. That's the extent of people okay with Mosher Raen. So the idea is is that Mosha Rabenu says what I want that to be very clear. I was not allowed to go to the land of Israel because of one sin I did which was what? Hit the rock in the whatever whatever the sin was. Okay, I will say that even though you know the scene is pretty clear, quote unquote, the paranim I think provide with six or eight options of what exactly was was the scene. Okay, so look, it's always like that when you don't say specific things, you leave things to imagination. And with imagination, it's very similar to what to Aon's children. How many interpretations do you remember for Nadavu? >> The what? >> With whom? With >> Moshe and >> No. So with Moshe, it is pretty clear that you need to find whatever you're going to find, but it's going to be in one place. Don't look at any other places that Moshe had some kind of uh a problem quote unquote with God. think that it could be killed in three in the throne. I mean >> you're going to be >> agree but if you look on your narrative the narrative is if you would ask you know someone who just read the narrative why is it that Mosha Rabain was not able to go into the land of Israel they will not start with like Rashi says not after okay they will go with wherever it says you can't go into the land of Israel okay let's take a look at the reef okay so I'm skipping rashi reef beat. That's the 11th century. And what the reef did, the reef basically took the and tried to as much as he could to uh to minimize the the negotiation and to try to find from the view. So Rav brought two and made a contradiction and then tried to resolve them. one says what if you hide your sins you will not be able to be successful which means successful I guess in doing repentance doing praiseworthy is the person who cover sins so you're saying cover the sins is terrible then you say cover the sins you you are praiseworthy which means what it's confusing. We have twoim one says hide your sins. The other one says don't hide your sins. Now we say ah the way to resolve it is sins between you and God and sins between you and a friend. Oh yeah the which is which now I can come up with a theory for both. Right? When you say stand in front of God don't hide anything. Why don't you hide anything? Why? Even if you hide he knows it all. So if you come to confess to God say it just say it with your friend. You don't want to tell your friend. It's better I guess to tell your friend. Look, I spoke lash about you this year. And you hope that your friend is not going to ask you what, when, what, you know, how frequent. You know, you don't want to tell him it was almost every 3 hours, right? It's you don't want to say because then you're going to get him even more upset, right? Or alternatively, exactly the opposite. In front of God, I don't need to say anything. Why? Because he knows. But if I really want a not like you know it's wonderful min that you know before you know it defeats the purpose I apologize if I hurt you it's nice but it doesn't make it right you need to tell your friend look yeah I spoke about you know 10 times a day for the last 365 days maybe I took a break on yum kipur last year but you know it just didn't work well and I'm sorry I'm sorry and you know I even spoke talk about you in front of Mosh and Miriam and Ruth and whatever >> about the repercussions you tell your friends certain rep the repercussions you want to tell him >> yeah he might say to you ah if that's the case forget it right I'm not giving you forgiveness >> so my wife now what happens in compensation my wife it can be other company by the way you're talking about that. I think I I brought it here once or maybe not here, but this is this is a one of the most famous chot of the Nabi UDA like 300 and something years ago. So, uh it's a ter it's a it's a terrible question. You know, back then 300 years ago, uh yeshiva guys would not have a dome that would stay with families. This is Shiva guy had an affair with the mother like the the mother of the house like the the the balabe. Okay. While he was in yeshiva then after two three years he's getting engaged with >> the daughter. Oh, >> gradual gradual >> that you don't know that question. Oh my gosh, that's one of the most terrible questions. But I didn't tell you the question yet. I'm just describing you the case. I get I get to see that you are already excited. So uh this Shiva guy goes to the rabbi to the roshiva and his question to the roshiva is there are two questions really. He asked the the Roshiva and then he asked the nabuda. says to him, "A, what's the process of chuva that I need to do? B, should I tell my father-in-law? Should I tell my father-in-law that I had an affair with my mother-in-law that she was not my mother-in-law yet, but she's now my mother my mother-in-law, and should I tell my father-in-law?" I don't know exactly how that conversation should look like that he didn't ask but you understand that it's complicated also it's complicated and why because when one person says to you that your wife was not faithful to you you can choose what not to believe in you can choose not to believe him because they're not that you don't have to aid him it might be that she's just a mishra right everyone can come and say look your wife oh ve you can say I don't really care. Alternatively, the problem is if he does believe him, does he believe in him like two or even if he believes in him like one, he still need to what? To act like he really believed him, which means he can't be with her anymore. So, you're talking about what? Serious stuff. I'm not going to tell you what the new W dupac um it is very very interesting but that's uh we're talking about you know sometimes too much information as we know it's not good also just think about it if you tell your friend I spoke about you lash with Moi and I think that Moshi is my best friend then my perception on Moshi will be what oh my god he's a terrible So I can basically paint someone else in a terrible in a terrible light and basically ruining that person's relationship with someone else. I mean we need to be very careful and this is I think where it can go both ways >> how do you do tshiva without going over >> exactly but the other problem is how can you really do chao how can you ask really forgiveness without giving all the information to the person to make the decision to forgive you and I'm not talking about and then in your heart you really are still upset I'm talking about be full forgiveness that's how So >> he can do it for the first time and maybe after couple months it seems to be going well and then all boom. >> True. True. And also sometimes you know you try to minimize the information you give but then your friend start what digging in right and then he reveal some other things that you didn't say meaning it can be complicated okay yes >> come back next >> I'll see um >> so So the reef continues. So now we have a question. The first time and the second time if you committed the sin God says you know what third or fourth God says and so the Garra says so third or fourth times the says habitu okay one talks about the individual one talks about what the public the community there it's always also vague but here it seems to be that uh perhaps we can say that when it comes to the individual God after the third time would say what after the fourth time we will give them three times and then the first time we'll punish or alternatively you can say what exactly the opposite with I have an expectation if you do something at least one of you needs to what to raise his hand and say you are doing something wrong with he doesn't know so maybe he needs to have the first time so again we have the reef two that we can be that can we can interpret them in two in two ways So let's just do at least the We know that the Rambam made like the second opinion which means even if you didn't do them this year you need to confess them on them again which means according to the Ramba. So the rabble makes it suck that you need to have a constant reminder of sins that you did even though you did not repeat them. But can I ask question? You identify yourself in a stronger way with being that person who did it. If you keep saying it >> again again >> you identify yourself. >> Mhm. more as that person who did it because you keep saying it. But if you could let it go, you could have a new identity and not have to keep putting that in your identity. >> That was the first opinion. But the Rambam did not agree with that. And the >> I'm asking question. >> Yeah. So the Rambam says no. Psychologically it should be that you should have a constant reminder. Now you should look also the constant reminder for the sins that I didn't do this year might be also not only a constant reminder of what I was what I did but also to what I was able to overcome. There is also some kind of an encouragement saying to myself I'm going to repeat that sin again in my confession but I didn't do it this year to me really I I did other sins don't worry but this one I didn't do. So it shows that what that I can I can overcome at least once in a year. I mean try not to pick up a new one but but but basically is that I was able to overcome it. So yes it can cause problems or complications but it also can give you some kind of what of of encouragement. So we'll leave you like that. Next year will continue just take your uh the pin with you so or whatever just so you will have next time.