Themes from the Tefillah of Yom Kippur by Rabbi Yossi Golden

when we look if we look at at the at the at the text and the of yum Kipper so the one prayer that I think um really stands out and is the dominant theme of yum Kipper I think I just and myself I did a quick count on my way down how many times we we we say it over the course of Jer he say it almost nine times and that is the V the what's known as the as the confession is I think the English translation although Vio is a much more powerful term and sometimes the the term in Hebrew just has much more uh power than the then when you translate it into English so I wanted to spend most of our time talking a little bit about the the the V and then hopefully at the end we'll share some other ideas regarding Thea of yum Kipper uh in general so first I'd like to just discuss uh a little bit where does the what is the concept of the viu I come from um what is the source for the idea um of of of of a confession as part of the part of the chuva process and then also to take a little bit of a of a deeper dive into the text of the of the Vio that we that we say over the course of of yum so so the concept of actually starts from a in the Torah the Torah in in Source number one when the Torah is describing um the process of a person bringing corbane bringing a sacrifice resulting from sin so the Torah describes what a person needs to do as part of that process Source number one if a person a man or a woman were to do one of the sins um that creat some kind of a rebellion against and he becomes guilty again without getting into the details of specifically this sin what's what sins were specifically to theb which is being discussed here there's a process here of repairing as a result of sin says the Torah low so says the Torah part of the process is he needs to confess he needs to confess the sin or they should confess the sin that they do they also have to pay back a certain amount of money to restore um to restore some of the some of the nezek some of the damage that had been caused but part of the chuva process part of the process of repairing as result of sin involves a actual verbal confession okay um we see this as well not just not just when it comes to corba note but we also see that the that this is true of any sin in general if we look at sources number two and number three the ram in describing Ina describing the process of chuva the process of returning or the process of repairing a relationship notes very very clearly that part of that process is a step called VI Source number two or sorry any in the Torah whether it's a positive Commandment that one uh refrain from doing or a negative Commandment that one violates if a person violates one of these whether it's done on purpose or by accident when he does and he returns or tries to repair from his sin he needs to go through some kind of a process of confession in front of God as theuk says and it quot INB this is what's called verbal confession continues the but I say this is a positive commandment There's an actual Mitzvah to confess as part of the process of of of repentance how exactly should I go through that process what do I say says the ra you say the following ATI I've sinned there's different ways to describe the process of sin I've sinned in front of you I did sin x y or Z and I regret it and I'm embarrassed my I'm not going to return to do it that is the main process of V so the ram has actually highlighted a few different aspects to the vi the V that the ram here notes actually involves a couple of Steps step number one is to say this is what I did step number two is to say I'm sorry that I did it and step number three is I resolve not to do it again and what the r is doing is outlining the various steps of chuva that that is that is part of in general the rambam's uh outlook on Chua if you look at source number three the ram once again in again highlights the importance of V what is says the r the person should leave and he should remove the sin from his mind he should resolve internally not to do it again as the PK says that a person should leave his leave the path of sin and he should regret what he had what he had done because after I have returned I've regretted what I've done and if he goes through this process says then will testify it's like a that that he will not that that that the sinner will not sin again and finishes the and says the ram it's crucial that all of these parts that we just talked about that that the raham said you need to think about and you need to resolve to do that you also verbalize all of them now there's a tremendous amount that is discussed regarding this R why the ra mentions it in two different places the different stages of chuva the order why does the Rah here switch the order he seems to say first stop doing it and then regret it what about should not regret it first and then stop doing it so there's a lot to talk about we're not going to get into all of those details because that's not our our issue what is clear for the RAM and this is true many of the ma point this out for the ram that for the ram Central to the chuva process is is the concept of VII the concept of confession however one thing that's important to note is that until now we haven't even gotten to rashash Yumer or anything like that so far our conversation about vidoi has not been referring to any specific time period it's referring to the process of chuva now is chuva only relevant on on rasher and Chua no Chua is actually something that's relevant throughout the year whenever a person sins then a person needs to repair that relationship a person needs to do chuva if in December I do X sin x y or Z I don't necessarily need to wait until the following El to all of a sudden feel bad for what I've done immediately I should feel bad for what I've done and I should go through that Chua process and then the question becomes well then what's what what what is the the what is chuva during AAR Chua we'll get to that hopefully soon but it's important to note that the process of chuva is not limited to this time period it's just enhanced or perhaps more crucial during this time period but what we've seen so far the rambam in the sources and the and the P by midbar are all talking about a regular sin that a person would to sin throughout the year at any point a person does a sin part of that process of repairing the relationship with a is to go through the process of chuva including including VI so there is a concept of chuva and VI throughout the year once we get to rashash and yum Kipper there is an additional element of Chua and that additional element also does include VD now there's a conversation there's a discussion in the just to highlight it we're not going to spend too much time on it but there is a discussion what is the nature of the concept of Chua during a Chua is it an additional Mitzvah that there's a Mitzvah during the rest of the year and then there's an additional Mitzvah during this year that's one interpretation that there's two Mitzvah there's the Mitzvah during the year and then during a Chu there's an additional Mitzvah to to make sure to do Chua or is it really the same Mitzvah throughout the year just what what is what is Yum Kipper yum Kipper is like your last chance really you should have done chuva in December or in January or in whatever or or in AD or whatever you sinned but if you didn't and you know the deadline is coming when's the deadline rashash and yer so those are the two ways to look at the season of rasher is it that there's an additional Mitzvah to do chuva during the season because of the unique time it's at or the alternatively there's no special Mitzvah of chuva during a Chua it's just like many of us what happens when you have a deadline you procrastinate until the end of the deadline so when are we getting in all of our chuva right now as we approach we realize deadline is coming and now is the time to take advantage and to make sure to to go through that process so that's an interesting debate but everyone agrees that there is something special about this time that requires additional additional chuva yes good very good good good okay so we're gonna we're gonna get so say out loud good excellent we're going to get to some of that correct correct what you're raising is part of the question is okay there a number of questions there first of all you pointed out you suggested that it's actually a process that's more internal between you and yourself and between you and God I would argue it's both by the way and and many points out that if you look at the way the ram describes the vi he says very he says a few words that seem extra the ram in Source number two set or I remember number two or three says you have to be says the ra who else are you going to be confessing in front of so says the says the it's to stress that this needs to be part of a relationship with but you are correct that it's also very much an internal process and one of the things we're going to have to also ask is why it needs to be verbal knows what I'm thinking I know what I'm thinking knows what I'm thinking so as you're suggesting we're going to see there are there is there is much reason to support the importance of uh of verbalization but I I I I agree what I first want to do is just see a couple of sources that highlight the unique aspect of Chua and V ker we saw that there's something called vido in Chua throughout the year and now we have a number of sources that highlight that this is also something that had to take Place specifically around the Y look at source number four Source number four is the Mish Yuma the Mish Yuma is describing most of describes the aod of the K in the BET mikdash part and parcel to the aod of the K bet mikdash was that the Coen did the process of VI a number of different times throughout the day according to the way the mishna describes it the first time was for the Coen and his family the second time was a Vio for all of the kohanim and the third time was a Vio that was specifically for all of am Isel so look at source number four this is describing that third Vio B the the Coen would come to the to the sheep that was about to be sent out to aaz so he put places his two hands on and he does the and this is the text of the V they have sinned again three different descriptions of sin they have sinned in front of you please please forgive all of their sins that they their iniquities and their negligence and their sinning in front of you all of as because it says in your it says in your Torah because the Torah itself describes as a day where we're going to atone and be cleansed of all of our sins okay so the k v is the Prototype of v on on Yer and this is what the points out that the source for the concept of having a special V that we're going to say over and over and over where does that come from it comes from the V the look at source number five we've already explained in the earlier that needs to have a verbalization of confession it's a positive commandment as the that we saw earlier says when is the main time to do when there was a the was the one who did the main and that was done on behalf of all of that was what was done continues the therefore because that was when that was the Prototype of v and nowadays we don't have that as a commemoration and also to fill in the gap of what's miss it we don't have the co standing in the bash the holiest person on the holiest day in the holiest place being doing the vi we then now need to step in and do that V process throughout yur yes were we doing it as well so it's an excellent question and the answer is um I don't know what yum Kipper looked like and whether or not well I would say the following the way the way I understand it again don't forget there's the V that needs to be done throughout the year you do a sin you should always do it you shouldn't wait meaning a person sends and kiss slave to say I'm going to wait until the V the K the next El the next means you don't appreciate what happened in the result of your sin so in terms of the need to do a VY throughout the year for any sin you did that's because when you have a relationship that's broken you don't wait 10 months to fix it you should fix it you should fix it and you should repair it right away regarding the specific voo that was done on yum Kipper so the question that I think you're asking is if the Cohen was doing it so did we do it as well and it's an excellent question and the answer is I don't know I don't know what I do know is as follows I would say I would I would just add the following and this is a beautiful idea that I was going to mention later but I think is important um there are two time and it's just relevant to what you're saying there are two times of the year uh this is an idea that R salic suggest there are two times of the year where part of the actual liturgy includes the singing of two times we sing We Sing It many other times during the year but the two times of the year are y at the end of Y right in the the actual set what's the second time why those two times so salv suggest the following day he said if there were two days of the year that the inherent nature of that day has shifted dramatically as a result of the loss of the bet mikdash it would be pesak night and it would be Yer when there was a bet mikdash everything revolved on yipper around the aod was everyone in sh I assume there was some I assume it was somewhat different but it was not like it looks today it wasn't like everyone went to sh and the Coen just did his thing and everyone whoever was there was there many people came to see the avod the the avod of the K on yum Kipper was the centerpiece to everything that happened on Yer the nature of yum Kipper has dramatically changed today because of a lack of bet mikdash say Sal the same thing is true on pesak on pesak what we do now in our seder is modeled after the family meal that they had on pesak night but everyone had it where in yush and surrounding yush then everything revolved around the PES so say salv the two days of the year that we miss the mikash the most are yipper and Ander and our and and our p and that's why we include specifically on those days so what what I'm just pointing at I'm bringing as idea is that I I don't know what Yumer looked like in the times of the mdash was there I'm sure there was was it as dominant in the same way I don't know um and it could and it could also be that again part of us achieving that atonement from from the from the from from the Coen might might might have required us to be to to to be a part of the of the nation and a part of what's going on and that might have required us also to have some level of personal Vio as well true true agreed agreed absolutely meaning there's there there's a lot more there yes okay so I see a few questions well correct know absolutely bring it all absolutely correct correct meaning there's a lot missing but those but the two days where theti like our Focus if you ask y if you ask what's yum Kipper about today daving and Shu that's not what yum Kipper looked like on uh sukus looked similar everyone built a Suka okay you know you know shivu was again sh is is actually very unique because a lot of a lot of it developed in mug but much of what we do it so Yumer specifically Chang p p night used to be we go toine with our P that's nowhere anywhere close to what we have what we have now so just a dramatic change yes and then we take isra people possible everybody uh the Practical aspect I'm I'm not going to get into it's a good question I don't I I I I don't know such ANL of the whole thing I agree I agree there are practical questions to how we all fit I mean there are there are MIM that talk about MIM gamor that talk about how miraculously there was room for I I don't I don't have an answer to that question I agree it's a question how we how did how did they all fit back then I I don't know the answer that question but that doesn't take away from from from from what was and and what we hope will be I don't I don't know of course absolutely absolutely absolutely absolutely good and we're going we're going to touch on on on some of that as well okay so what we what we've established though here ladies and gentlemen is that we have this thing we have this chuva during the year during the rest of the year and then we have this thing called chuva and viy specific to Kipper now what is the text we know what the text of the mishna was the text of the mishna uh what the coin used to say on Yumer we know what we have what they had now what should our Vio now now there is no bet mikdash there is no coing to the VI for us and we also have to say our own Vio what should that text look like so the gamar in Source number six actually discusses what is the text what should the text of our V be and it raises a number of different options which I thought are very very interesting we're going to we're going to see a few of them my meaning what should a person say what should be Source number six the text of the viar says it should be R you know the secrets of the world meaning you know everything that's happened by the way that might sound familiar that is part of our text that's not the main VI we do say that as power part of our amid both on uh well certainly on on I don't remember if it's in if it's in um from the depths of our heart okay these are highlighting different aspects of that that are important in the Torah it says the following again these are highlighting different it's interesting but the the most important part for us is to go to the bottom Amar marra marra makes the following this is the concluding opinion as to what should be including it's the part that's underlined three lines from the bottom the part that's underlined all those other opinions about what you should say as part of the V they were only saying that says all those other opinions of what you need to say that was all if you haven't yet said the following words but we have sinned once you say those words we have sinned you don't need to say anything else that is the Crux says says marra that is the if I had to pick the defining note the defining idea of it is we have sinned I was once standing in front of and he was sitting one time there was a story where there was a rabbi who was sitting in front of the the got up and said sure there many people who would love that to be our right on a regular basis he got up and said okay that's good enough now again obviously there's no question that the vi is are our video is much longer and I would probably suggest I I don't know for sure that they would argue that even these RAB would say you should say more what they're trying to do here is not just say what words you have to say as a magic formula they're trying to capture what is meant to be the main essence of of the V and the way we and if you look at source number seven I'm not we're not going to see it all inside source number seven in this way that the that we have the says that is the main Crux of what the V is the V is meant to be basically us turning through and saying we've done wrong okay now our V is going to have much more than that we're going to go through that but I think what what what's being highlighted here is something very important if we think about it and again very often kazal talk about how in order to really understand your relationship with hhm you have to compare it to your relationship with other with other people sometimes that's just a taste of what our relationship withes is going to be in a relationship between two between two people who have a fight who go through some kind of hard times what is often the most important moment that needs to happen is when one side or both sides turn to the other and say I'm sorry I did something wrong I made a mistake and if we're only thinking about what the other person did it's going to be very hard for this relationship to get repaired and so what kazal I think are creating here is basically saying if you want to understand the Crux of Vio the Crux of chuva step one just has to be a willingness to recognize I've done something wrong I've sinned I'm sorry and then everything else whatever else is part of that process part of the V and part of that process is going to continue but the key has to be the beginning has to be a recognition and a willingness and some sometimes it's harder than we think we're very stubborn people right we're we're we're very very good at justifying our actions we're very good at coming up with well I need to do it it's a health reason it's a this it's a that and again I'm not go shom questioning anybody we're very good at convincing ourselves that we're justified in the way that we act it's very very I remember I think it was a v cant who said that it's it's it's it's it's much harder it's much harder to to uh to to it's much harder to fix one maida one character that it is to you know learn all of Shas because the idea of really fixing ourselves requires a lot a lot of introspection a lot of recognition it means an honest accounting of who we are and what we've done and what we can improve on and it means not just this fleeting but it requires a lot of work and so but step one it always has to be a real willingness to recognize I've done something wrong and I want to and I and I and I want to move on just I want to add just in parenthesis this this idea that the key is to the recognition of that the key to chuva is recognition of I'm sorry and I want to do better could be um one of the reasons why we start Yumer with kidre if you ever if you ever wondered kid kidre is like the the probably the most famous prayer in In all of Jewish liturgy everybody knows about kidra right the once a year Jews or the twice year when do they usually come for K in Israel by the way it's very common in Israel many many Kon Jews will come for kid and okay but in America kidre I feel like this my my experience was kid was like everyone comes for kidre and we all know we all love the tune and we all if you ever if you've ever looked at the text it's a very very funny text we're basically just getting up and saying any vows that I've taken over the course of this year I going to one know them which is also ironic in the fact that due to the fact that most of us did that already we just did atarus Nadar before ranam Kipper so I've already know all my vows so and now here I get I step up there we this very powerful tune and we're standing up and we're what is this all about and and and there are a number of different interpretations one interpretation that one idea that occurred to me once was if you if you understand what is what is a vow about or a nedder a nedder a person takes a nedder a person takes a vow when they are confident in their ability to do something I'm taking a n that I'm not going to do X Y or Z or I am going to do X Y or Z when does a person need to anull AOW when they come to the recognition that I made a mistake I thought I could do this and I can't so part the essence of is a certain recognition of our human limitations and the ability to say I'm wrong I made a mistake I made a mistake I thought I could do XY and Z I thought I could take advantage or push myself or whatever it's going to be and I can't and perhaps that's at the core of the entire Chua process is this recognition that I'm sorry I made a mistake and that's the key to everything else that that's going to to continue that's just a a side point now what I wanted to do is continue to discuss certain other aspects of of Vio we've were talking until now about the importance of the nature of Vio and as we noted Vio is the central process in in the chuva process this a central aspect of the chuva process R salic has a we going we're going to end up quoting from him a number of number of different times today um he has many beautiful ideas as always but specifically around the so is a beautiful idea where he discusses the relationship between Vio and chuva as we know Vio is part of the chuva process but of salic points out that chuva is is is is is is one of these unique mitzvot that has two aspects to it okay Sal notes many that there are few Mitzvah where there two there's two aspects to the Mitzvah there's something called the Mitzvah and then there's something called the Mitzvah the act of the Mitzvah he let's compare it to lul okay when I take the lul and I shake the lul there's the act of the Mitzvah what's the act of the Mitzvah shaking and when do I fulfill the Mitzvah when I shake it the shaking is the Mitzvah and when I do that then I okay the same thing sitting in the Suka the ACT is sitting in the Suka and when I sit in the Suka I'm also fulfilling the Mitzvah it's theum and it's the ACT okay although it's interesting because Suka can be somewhat inactive you can be sitting and doing nothing and that's one of the beautiful aspects of Suka is just being yourself in the Suka could be a mitzvah chuva is very very different in Chua there's a separation between the act of the Mitzvah and the Fulfillment of the Mitzvah what's the what's the act of the Mitzvah says the ACT is the V what's the Fulfillment of the Mitzvah the real internal work that you do that's behind the V so look at look at source number eight we see this idea also he may CH in the eyes of the r is something that is done internally it's work that you do in the heart real Chua is not done through action although action can help you in that process real Chua it's a process that sometimes takes years it's an internal process of change where a person works on themselves it begins with regret with a feeling of guilt sorry I'm not sure what that word is I typo excuse me recognition I think is what the word is sorry you're right that's exactly hakarat thank you a recognition that part of his goal has been taken away a feeling of loneliness wandering wander wandering wandering that's a word forgive me walking in emptiness shall shall just you know total emptiness shall shall fail failure this is all part of the process of chuva chuva is an internal process the ability to change is an internal process sometimes that process can take a long time until you get to there's not one quick fix I do this action I did chuva that's not chuva says is a the of is believe is internal grows a slow process continued morphos again Sal word what's what's a metamorph metamorphosis right until you bring about that metamorphosis once you're able to get to a point where now internally you feel it then you have the and what is the theah is the the act of the Mitzvah is the Vio itself and if a person does the Vio without the internal Kum it's worthless salic brings other examples of this just to highlight the point he points out the same thing as daving in daving as well we have something called the Mitzvah the act and then you have something called the Kum Mitzvah right what's the Mitzvah daving saying the words but if I just say the words like many of us do and we just say the words absent mindedly and where there's no sense of connection or no sense of of of developing a relation with or sense of kavana behind it then there's no K Mitzvah okay another example he gives is actually the world of aut in the world of mourning there are Mitzvah that a person needs to do during their a during their seven days of morning to express their sadness but those are just the mitzah what's the Mitzvah the real Mitzvah is the internal process that a person goes through during the days of their morning and what Ric is highlighting here is that on the one hand the Vio is important and it's integral but the Vio has to be accompanied by the K Mitzvah which is the internal the internal process which brings us to our next question and this is a question that you raised before which is okay so I understand that there's something called that the internal process is the most important process of the chuva process the internal recognition well then why do I need the vi at all if internally I I I I I want to change and internally I resolve to change and internally I tell myself I'm going to change knows what I'm thinking why do I need to verbalize it what is the what is added benefit in verbalizing the the V so we have a number of different suggestions here so the first one which is I think what many of us would logically suggest Sal mentions this as well in Source number nine is that you need to verbalize things in order to concretize them that very often we have nice ideas we have things we want to do we have we have things we think about things we want to take advantage of things we want to be a part of but until we verbalize it it's not concretized say Source number nine the second line every emotion every feeling any thought we have di to key they can only become tangible when you're able to express them in proper sentences and proper language whenever if a person is just living in the world of ideas as great as lofty as those ideas may be and as great as they may be as long as you have not brought them from your mind to out into the world they're different here it's not valuable you need to have that but if you can't verbalize it it's not going to it's not going to stick but then says something else as well I'll take a question in a in a minute there's another there's another reason say why I think we need V and this he's digging a little deeper into into understanding mankind there are many things that a person knows and is involved in but he'll never ever talk about them he'll never mention them we're very very stubborn people we build walls between ourselves sometimes we even deny actual realities there are realities happening in the world around us and we're very good at protecting ourselves and building walls around it and pretending like what's happening out there isn't really happening but ofen instinc very instinctively things that don't that don't fit in with our worldview aren't pleasant we just don't talk about them we're very good at building a world around us that fits in with what the things we want to see elim God gave enabled man built man with a certain ability to just with it's actually a protective thing to protect ourselves by hiding or pretending like things aren't as they are to run away from reality not to recognize them and not to see them as they are many people know deep down I've done this wrong I'm not so good at this I could improve in this area these are things that we know deep down but we justify but we but we we convince ourselves otherwise he has he has he has um um all of his values he has sorry I'm losing my words but he has opposed with this another betrayed betrayed his values that's by God he knows why deep down many of us know why but he's not willing to say it he's not willing to verbalize it or to hear it from other people deep down at night he cries and he and he and he he knows it but in the daytime in front of others you act as if there's nothing wrong we're not willing to to actually discuss it pushes forces a person in a painful way quote unquote to recognize what's going on around you and to and to express it clearly as it is this isn't just regret sorry that's a typo it also it's actually embarrassment to look the truth in the eye straight in the eye to look very directly to break down those walls or that that what we' built of self- protection to break down this this wall to go against our nature which is to run away and to hide from this take off the mask sorry and to verbalize and to close out with your word with your mouth what you know in your heart and so Sal here is not just talking about what we think about and and and and just concretizing he's saying deep down there is this inability or there's this like we said before we justify things and we and we and we and we and we we protect ourselves but we also fool ourselves and what voo is meant to do is to bring out into the open is to verbalize in a very real way I've done something wrong I can do better this is an area that I can do better and that's something and that the importance of that cannot be cannot be um understated so those are two reasons for the Vio ralis and sax in Source number 10 suggests another reason that part of the core of the Vio is what we would call personal respons responsibility because very often when we sin we have many justifications or many other people to blame for why we do that sin it's because of this circumstance it's because of that person it's because of this person and what Vio does is basically is a is is a recognition and a personal recognition and ability to be accountable for our own actions Source number 10 a guilt culture is a culture of responsibility we do not blame anyone else for the wrong we do it is always tempting to blame others it wasn't me it was my parents my up bringing my friends my genes my social class the media the system them that was what the first two humans did in the garden of Aiden right that when challenged by God for eating the forbidden fruit man blamed the woman and the woman blamed the serpent the result was Paradise Lost blaming others for our failings is as old as Humanity but it is disastrous it means that we Define ourselves as victims a culture of victimhood wins The Compassion of others but at too higher costs it incubates feelings of resentment humiliation grievance and Grudge at least people oh it leads people excuse me it leads people to Rage Against the World instead of taking steps to mend it Jews have suffered much but yum Kipper prevents us from ever defining ourselves as victims as we confess our sins we blame no one but ourselves that is demanding psychologically and spiritually yet is the price we must pay for our freedom and the truth is that this is something that I think many of us can relate to in general the world around us now the world society around us is very much there's the victim culture right it's all about victimhood victimhood and Vic it's all about blaming other people for our realities I'm not looking to get political in any way shape or form but this is very pervasive it's very common for people to get up and even in the court of law say I did this but it's not my fault it's because of X Y and Z it was some somebody else did it or because of this or because of that and in Judaism we believe in personal responsibility and personal accountability we do recognize that other factors will sometimes impact us but that's not what we're looking to do on yum Kipper on yum Kipper we're looking to say Anis we're not going to see it inside rais I brought it for you again that booklet of Perez is the the head of mrai whose son Daniel Perez um was uh was was a soldier who was T whose body is still still taken captive um he was killed unfortunately on October 7th and he also writes about how this is actually something that we saw in the Society of Israeli Society before October 7th it was everybody blaming everybody else it was all about it's their fault that what's wrong with this country is because of them and because of them and when we do that we don't solve any problems it's our willingness to look at ourselves and to say what can I do better that is part of just being successful as a society and and the truth is that this is really uh it really reminds us and as as Ron mentions very very directly we look at source number 12 the well-known story of rezar Ben D I'm not going to see the whole the whole the whole story inside R Lesar Bia famously was the worst human being on Earth he had committed every single sin that could be committed there was not one prostitute in the world that he had not pursued and slept with that's what the gamar tells us and at some point during that process he comes to the recognition that he's done something wrong and that and and in fact one of the women say say alaz elazar d can no longer do chuva and all of a sudden that creates a crisis in his head and he begins the process of doing chuva but here's the key what does he do how does he begin the process of doing Chua he goes to all the different places around him he goes to the mountains the gamar tells us uh the gar tells us that first he approached the mountains and he said to the mountains please pray for pray that God should forgive me the mountain turns him and say we have to worry about ourselves I we can't worry about you we have to worry we have to dove in for ourselves he then turns to the Sun and the Moon and he says please ask me ask for forgiveness and they say we also have to worry about ourselves we're not going to worry about you and then he turns to the stars and he turns to the constellations and he says please DAV in for me to Hashem and they say we have to DAV to Hashem for ourselves not for you and at some point razar B says and this is the key line two lines from the bottom the the second half of the linear the chuva process the process of chuva of returning to Hashem is dependent upon only one person and that is me then he says he put his head between his knees and he started crying incessantly until his his left him from Heaven came up now for us getting into his ability to to do Chua so quickly it's an important it's an interesting discussion but the key is that line when we when we do V what we're reminding ourselves and reminding everybody is that when it comes to vid it's about us chuva is a process where we're not asking about why all the other reasons and all the other people who caused us to sin it's about us and why have we sinned and what can we do to improve to improve that to improve that process another important aspect that I want to highlight for you and share with you regarding regarding regarding the Vio before we before we start to discuss a little bit of the text of the Vio and get into more details in the text of the Vio R has another beautiful idea where he notes that the word Vio is also found in the Torah not just in the context of corba note and confession of a sin but in another context entirely and that actually is in par something called v b is the mitzah bringing the first fruits and the Torah commands us that when a person brings the first fruits to the bet mikdash he he comes and then he does something called v a confession of the Bikur what does he do he gives a little bit of a history lesson he talks about the Jews were in MIM and they were and they were oppressed and God took them out Etc and Ral says wait a second I don't understand V is confession confession of our sins what does v have to do with the what do those Pim that I'm saying have to do with the process of confession Sal V doesn't necessarily mean confession only in the negative context V means says taking an honest accounting of where you are in life and that can be true says rosic not just in the negative but even in the positive and this is an important point because until now we've been talking about and of salv has been describing how beautifully the importance of how chuva can be done how a person how Vio brings us to personal responsibility personal accountability recognition of all the things we've done wrong but CES of salv and this is also true this is quoted in r as well when a person does the and talks about his sins he should not only be focusing on his sins he should also be focusing on the things he thinks he thinks he's done well because V when we talk about our relationship with is in a honest accounting of who we are and that's why V is called V because when the person brings the he's supposed to proclaim the the history and his the entire past of his of of of of his people as he's bring the be VI does not simply mean confession of negative things it also means a confession or a an accounting of who we are and what we can be and so yum Kipper should should there be a focus on how we can improve ourselves absolutely but there's no question that part of that process should also be these are the things that I think I've done well and maybe I could figure out how to do it better or maybe I could do more of that or maybe I could push myself in this again it has an honest Accounting in fact there was there's I I believe that was R cook who was quoted as saying that the that there should be a positive version of the asham knew God knew it shouldn't just be we've done this wrong and that it should also be we've done this well and I think someone did come up with a text I've seen it I've seen it out there but each person can for in their own way put together that text where a recognition of these are some things that I think I've done Welles give me credit for them and I'm hoping that I'll be able to improve that's that's part of this process of v and the proof says R is that the phrase V is not only used within the context of sin but in other but in other context as well okay we have only a few minutes left I'd like to just again discuss a little bit more some of the the text itself the the the text of the V so as many of you us may be familiar with but never really I don't know if this never concretized for me until I saw it there's actually two vys that we say every time we say the v as I mentioned we say the Vio almost nine times over the course of yipper starting with arum Kipper then we have it twice twice in Marv once during our Sil mon once during or not during during the then twice in shakaris twice in mus twice in and then as well twice in it's almost it's maybe it's uh maybe even 10 no 11 including uh if you include yeah eight time eight nine times if you include ar ar ker but uh or maybe even more but but each part of the Vio has actually two there's one called the Vio katar and then there's what's called The V the is what we've been saying in that's short that's why it's called is the they're different processes now salic we're not going to see this inside again because of time but you can look at it yourselves salic notes or suggests that not only is there a difference between the length but there's actually a difference in the tone of these two two V the gazu we have sinned we've done this we've done that he says that talks much more about persona it's we are this we are that almost defining we're almost as Sal we're coming and basally saying I don't know where to start I am like the the is much it's very different it's not we are it's with this the sin it's not as much about who we are it's not defining Us by it it's about the process of recognizing that it's not who I am rather it's something I did and C salic he describes he connects it to the different parts of the nefes doing true with the different parts again you can see it inside but it's almost as if we begin the process looking at our sins and being like Oh my God this is who I am and then as we go on in that vooy process we come to the recognition wait a second this might not be who I am this is just what I've done and therefore we shift a little bit in how we approach and how we approach the the the Vio other aspects that I wanted to mention of course yes just the fact that the yes we're going to get yes yes what do you what what what do you what do you make of that something that I did wrong maybe I don't I've done wrong correct so so correct so there's two there's two things about the V that make that both the long and the short that are true that make it seem like this is not Mees this part of the text is not about specifying our personal sins but is a much more General number one it's Olive to tough right we go we go through the olive Bays okay number two when we say we don't say we say why is that so again the suggestion would seem to be and there's a lot of different interpretations here but the the suggestion would seem to be again the alive t as we've talked about in other in other other places is to this expression of I've sinned in all different ways I can't properly Express all the different ways I you know I've the whole gamut Olive to tough I've done everything I've been involved in all different types the asham Newan new I think again it's meant to highlight it's meant to highlight that this text the text that we say as part of the regular is meant to be just something to elicit our emotion and our thought has every single one of us been mid DOI maybe have we all done all the different things that are outlined there maybe but not necessarily but the point of this text is to elicit a certain emotion and a certain and a certain mindset now it is true by the way and many post suggest that every person does sit before yum and think about their own specific sins if there are specific things that you think you should improve on you can you can insert that usually it's inserted in the v the is we're talking about specific sins so a person can make a personal list of things that they think they should best improve and and you can specify them in English after at the end of the V but the rest the V is meant to and meaning the text is meant to just be something that elicits our thought and our and cont which is really what we're what we're what we're trying to do I apologize just because of time I'm going to I'm just going to stop with the questions for now I'm happy to afterwards I'm happy to afterwards take it I just want to I want a couple of other points and I want to make sure that you have you have a break one other thing that I I just want to I want to highlight um we're not going to get to to the but that's but that's okay and that is the um the the the fact that we say the vi twice salic makes this point as well we say the vi by each twice we say it in our private and then we say it again in the k however say if you look at the at the location of where they're placed it's fundamentally different in the personal we say it at the end of the davic after we pretty much have finished that's when we say it in where is the V it's smack in the middle of karat that's number one number two says the V of the K is preceded byos by saying other other texts and things like that whereas the one is we go straight into it at the end of our personal we go straight into and we say everything say what is it about develops a beautiful beautiful theme which is something that is a theme of his throughout all of yum Kipper which is that there's two different types of chuva that we're trying to achieve on Yumer there's the chuva of the Y and then there's the chuva of the CLA on we turn to and we say please forgive us because I as a person deserve to be a part of this and I want to live and I could do better Etc AB you know Etc there's also the chuva of the community there's the chuva of the chor and what we turn to we say regardless of whether or not I deserve it as a I deserve to be a part of the Jewish people I deserve to be a part of the tore and I want to connect to that tore and therefore and by the way he notes that when it comes to the personal chuva we approach it with trepidation we approach it we're we're we're a little bit more scared because maybe I don't deserve it but if we try to tap into the chuva of theor the kapar of theor that we know am Israel is is going to continue forever and ever and therefore we come with a with a different attitude Sal the reason why theor the Sal the one that we say privately in our Shon that's that's the V of the when we say it again in that's the chuva that's the V of the T we're trying to connect to the T say why is it that the V of the Tor we sing uh okay right many of us have have fond memories are we supposed to have fond memories of a v right we all know the to and we sit oh my favorite part right and we're like wait a second Cesar salivic the reason we sing it is because the Vio and the chuva of the tior has a totally different tone than the V and the and and and the chuva of the yak the yak comes and is scared the the seore comes with a certain amount of confidence and therefore we approach with you're our father we're a part of am we want to be a part of this nation we deserve to be a part and therefore we approach it with a certain confidence the fact that we say the SOS before it the fact that we make it a part of Theon is all indicative of the fact that this is the Vio of the tior which is fundamentally different from the from the Vio from the vi of the one more point I want to just make and then with this I will I I will end with the one thing we didn't we didn't discuss was really understanding a little more about I left you some those of you who want to hold on to your sheets there's a number of couple of essays in English I recommend you you look at regarding the IL but there's one important point about we we talked about before how salic noted that the fundament the nature of yum Kipper changed fundamentally as a result of the destruction of the betam mikdash it went from being a day that was focused on the aod in the BAM mikdash to now being a day that's focused on hour in the BET fundamentally different of There's an actual expression of this and that is the Yer is the day where we have the most amount of of the entire year because we insert which is a we don't say any other time of the year say the is what turns Yer into it is called with the destruction of the was inserted or has now become the expression of yipper being a day of and there's actual There's an actual practical ramification say what if a person for whatever reason let's say he was sick didn't DAV any of the other until he wasn't feeling well right the says if you're not feeling well if it's either be sh or be or lie in bed and rest you should be in bed and rest if you can fast again everyone should consult their doctors and their rabbis but but right what but what if a person didn't say any of the other field he only gets up for Sal you can't D in the purpose of is to take all the other that we've been daving of Yer and bring them up to bring them up to heaven turns this into a day of and the Practical expression of that is that all the are carried by up to Shay if a person doesn't dve in any of the other and then wants to dve in sayic it doesn't have meaning Hally and what that shows us is that what does is transforms this day it's something we know into the day of of so hopefully uh our learning today both understanding of the V and understanding the power of will lend some more meaning to our our own for for yur um wishing everybody and