Parshat Vayetzeh | Universal Ethics | November 26th 2025

Um so first they will sponsor uh for memory of uh Mel and um for the Davises by their family. So it should be the shama. Okay. So we will learn a little bit today about parad but uh we will obviously take it uh to other places as you can imagine and we'll talk a little bit about universal ethics. I will start today. Hopefully we'll be done today for and if not we'll see what we can do about it. So if you look okay so when at first glance you look at the two brothers and you think Asaf is the man of the world right? He's the seasoned person. He knows what's going on. He's a hunter. He's a doer. While Jacob is an isham sits in the tent whatever a naive guy doesn't know much and really you can see that Jacob was very concerned to do what his mother told him is very hairy and I am very smooth and my father might touch me and he will immediately know that I am not as even and by the way just when you think about what he said. What did you think? Your mom didn't think about it like she's going to send you to the lion's den and and we'll just throw you to the dogs. Obviously, she understand she knows Asav and Yakov are very different. She will she will take care of it. So, the entire question is a very naive question. And therefore, it seems to be that what we have in mind to Yakov in terms of characteristics is there he's a naive guy, a nice person, but I know he can be deceived and he's not someone who can really know what's going on. Totally wrong. How come? So take a look. So Jacob has to flee Israel and he goes to and he saw and there is a whale in the field. You're looking for There is one. There is one at the front and he saw a whale in the field and you see three um shepherds with their flock are basically sitting around the whale. If you want to show it, there is one in the front. So there's a huge rock on the well and so all the flocks gathered together around that well they will remove this rock from the well and they will water the flock and every day they will do the same thing which makes no sense right just leave it off just leave it without the rock on the well so everyone can water their flock whenever they need. >> You don't want dust falling. >> What? >> Okay. So, put something like a not a rock like just put the little cover. Okay. You can go to you know Costco. You get it? And I don't want to tell you then you can replace it and then you know exchange it because they use they changing their exchange policy. Um but the idea is why to put that truck and to wait for all of them to come together and to remove that truck makes no sense. It makes sense if you have a society which is total immoral and unethical which means you are afraid that someone will take more water than they need and they will not wait for the others which means that society is not the most you know not the kindest society but also there is no trust in that society that where Yakov is going to go so Yakov see this group strangers, three shepherds with their flock. And he says to them the following, "My brothers, where are you from?" Now, >> that's a bit strange. You go to a group of strangers and you will tell them, "Hey brothers, >> even Israelis will not say immediately you need to know him a bit. You don't call him. Okay. So, um it seems to me like you're overly friendly and Jacob has no clue who they are and also look at their dry reaction. He asked them, they don't respond, hey brother. What do they say? We are from that's it. Like very dry. Not like welcome, where are you from? Nothing. Just we are from like and please don't ask us any more questions. Do you know? Yes, we know. Like do you mind telling me a little bit more details like address or something like that? No, we just know that shalom. So I guess Jacob does not get it after the first time that you know they are not interested in talking to him. But by the way you can see the and they not even they don't even talk to him. They answer but they don't really want to talk to him. So he asked them is he in peace shalom shalom. and his daughter is coming with the flock. Now let's hold on here for a second. Who in his right mind will send his daughter >> to such a place? Only if you don't have other sons. How do I know that? >> It had daughters, right? He had no sons that we know of and he sent one of his daughters there. That's how Moshe was introduced. Right? So it might be that Lavan did not have any boys any sons or alternatively >> he did have sons at the end that showed >> very good that according to Mitrash he had sons only after Yakov came into the family not son-in-laws >> children >> that he had more children and he had boys. That's what the midash says. Not necessarily that we need to accept it right now. But it seems to be strange that Rael is the one who is being sent especially when you have an older one which is that's a we do know that when someone is a shepherd it probably that has characteristic of a leader. Davidid Moshe Jacob He was supposed to be one. Okay. Most of our leaders were shepherds. So obviously becoming a shepherd you go to a group of strangers and you tell them what hey brothers so which is little strange and then you give them a mash. You criticize them. Yakov criticized the shepherds of doing what? Wasting their time. It's too early to just chill, you know, around the well and just to relax and uh you need you are wasting your employer's time. >> Very good. Who are you? You're just a stranger. You came into town. You are thinking like like we are brothers and now you are chastising us and criticizing us, right? I don't know why they are even compelled to respond to him, but they do. And I guess it's a it's a human nature when you are being accused of something by someone that you don't really even care about, but you will try to protect yourself. So they say, "No, no, no, no, no. You don't understand it. We can't do anything until all the shepherds will from the area will come around and then they will remove the rock from the well and then we will water the flag." So you you don't understand what's going on here. So don't criticize us. Okay, so they he's still talking to them, which by the way, the Torah does not reveal the content of that conversation, but I would assume that he would say, "But why do you do that? Why do you need to wait for all of them and you're wasting your time?" And they will tell him, "That's the way we do it, right?" And he will try to tell them that that whatever they do, they do >> wrong. Right? Okay, good. Sounds familiar. And comes along. So when he saw the flock, what does he do? Like you take the lead from a battle. Now if you can do it by yourself, why do you need to wait for to come? Right? Okay. So this entire narrative is a bit challenging. We need to and that's what we're going to try to do today. and perhaps even next week is to try to understand two things, two main things. A what is this friendly approach to strangers like ai my brothers? Why would he say that? He could barely call his own brother my brother, right? But he can call strangers my brother. That's also sounds very familiar, right? I see some smiles. Okay, that's okay. Every family has it. Okay. So in addition to that, so we need to understand this friendly approach. B, we need to understand this moral criticism. Who are you? Why would you do that? Since when Yakov was appointed to be the judge? Why would you do that? And third, what exactly the lessons that we can learn from this narrative? Okay, so let's start with the Ral Bug. Who was Rah Bug? Anyone knows? Rabil Vibben >> Gon very good end of 13th century beginning of the 14th century he was a philosopher he was a doctor he was an astrologologist he was uh what else he was he was a doctor incredible but his philosophy was not exactly accepted by everyone and for many many years uh he was not quoted okay later on he was quoted more so there says the following. He says the first lesson that we can derive from this narrative is which means the attributes the characteristics that we should have. He says that it's uh good for a person to always speak to other people in a pleasant way which means not appeasement but in a nice way that they will feel comfortable because with that you will have peace and harmony in society. So one reason is for the sake of society but the second reason is for what to help you >> for your own benefit. Right? If you are friendly with someone he will be he or she will be more inclined to what to help you. So therefore he says that when Yakov came down to he basically what he spoke to them nicely a because he wanted to create a nice harmony in society but also he needed their help right so that's why he did it. And this is why when you will um see that when Jacob asks the shepherds where are you from? This is why Jacob approached them as what? As my brothers. So the first lesson we can see from here that Yakov did it in order to do two things. A to create some kind of harmony in society and B he needed their help. Okay. Yes, please. >> Is it possible that this Yakob leaves? He lost his brother. He tricked his father. His mother sent him home. He's all by himself. So clearly after his journey, he was so happy to see people. And he felt that I got to make friends. He's all by himself in this world. Maybe that's why he was just so warm and friendly. >> Okay. Very interesting take. Now I will ask you, give me please two more examples. that the word you know what one okay obviously when he is looking for what even though they definitely did not see him as >> a brother they saw him more as an enemy okay and who else okay that's with N okay, one more plural note. He went from the palace and he went to his brothers. Okay. Who are those brothers? >> It doesn't say >> that's exactly what the commentators are saying if I'm not mistaken says his Egyptian brothers. He saw himself as an Egyptian. So then he went to the Egyptian brothers. But when they when he saw that they beat up Jews, he says, "I can't associate with them. I'm going to switch Ramb and other says he knew he's Jewish and he went immediately to add to his quote unquote Jewish friends, which by the way, I think that the simple understanding of will be the Egyptian ones. I don't think Moshe knew. I mean he I think he knew he's not totally Egyptian but I don't think anyone in the palace told him that what >> that there are no Jews but he's a Hebrew. Okay that he's a Hebrew. Okay he was raised as a as an Egyptian prince. So therefore the word might be your brothers mash brothers but in the example we found is those are not brothers that act like brothers. Those are brothers that act like act like enemies. And here he approached those strangers as aim or because of some kind of affection trying to find quote unquote family or like what the Bak says he tried to be friendly because he thought that that will be a great way to create some kind of harmony in society or alternatively he needed something from them which makes it a little bit fake. >> He could have been he could have said maybe somebody in this um shepherds could be my relative. He's looking for his family. >> Oh, so you're saying aim meaning maybe one of you are like quote unquote a brother means a relative. Okay. But you can understand that Yakov is overly friendly. Let's put it like that. There's no question. And obviously the are trying to understand why the is 19th century. He says what is he taught himself? to to speak in a language of love and friendship. That's why he called the shepherds that he never knew before my brothers. So according to the unlike the he basically says that Jacob didn't do it just for his own personal benefit, but that's the way he decided he's going to speak to others in a nice and pleasant way. Now I will tell you which is interesting. I think it's interesting when Yakov um after seven years of walking for how did he speak to his future father-in-law? I'm not sure I want to translate, but uh just bring me my wife and let's have a family. Uh that's not okay. Now go >> who he's dealing with. >> He's what? >> He knew who he who he was dealing with. >> Okay. So Lavani, you know, you need to be very straight with him. By the way, just a side note, this is once I thought about giving a shoe on that. I just don't have time to make it. But um you know, you have Hebrew expressions like when I want to say that I'm going to be very very clear with you. What's the Hebrew expression for it? Now you understand how ironic it is says to your daughter and your youngest daughter to be very clear and then he got what? Okay. So we use it in order to show that we are very clear with someone. That's exactly the opposite. But that's the irony of many many things. Um okay. So so the idea is is that according to the nativ we are talking about the idea he just taught himself to talk like that even though sometimes he will not uh speak like that. Okay. So we managed to understand a bit what is this approach of my brothers. Okay. By the way I I I'm thinking still about what you said in terms of trying to find a family. Um, it is interesting to note, I mean, maybe I need to give it a little bit more thought, but it seems to be that Yakov was not in a rush to go back home. Um, after 14 years, he could have gone home, but he didn't. Uh, because I think he knew what was waiting for him there. And he felt he start start he did start feeling more and more comfortable at Lavan's house until he heard what they are saying about him that he stole all the property for my our father and everything. Okay. By the way, just thinking about theim Yakov called someone else also brothers. Who else? his children. His children at the end of parat when he runs away when he runs away it says that he created this gal this wall between him and Lavan and it says that they collected stones and the there is are his children. Okay. Okay. So now let's talk a little bit about the moral criticism that Yakov passed on to those shepherds says Rashi and the day is too early to just take a break because he saw them what just sitting by the well he thought so he thought that they want just to collect the flat the to go home. It's too early to go home. If you are employees by the day, your day is not over yet. If it's your own flock, it's not the time to want to bring the flock home. You still have something to do with them. Now, I want to ask you a question. what business he has in telling them what to do. Especially if they are the balatin for their own flock. You know what it's almost like here in Israel when you walk with a baby and someone tells you why don't you dress him? You know it's too cold, it's too warm, it's too this, it's like who asked you? Now this is the beauty of Israel. But really who asked you? No one asked for your opinion. And here not only giving an opinion >> criticism. There's criticism. There's criticism and it's based on miscalculation. He has no clue. Yes. >> And he sees something wrong and he's like, you know, you know, he has to say something. >> Okay. Interesting. Interesting. You know sometimes you know you have I don't know if you have grandchildren that come from yeshiva and after 2 months they tell you that your bach that your kitchen is not kosher right yeah because they learn something in kash and then they realize that they don't know anything um but that's okay the idea is is that it might be that he comes from an environment and whenever he sees something that it's called quote unquote injust so he's going to he's going to say something and that's basically what phono above says in the 16th century He says, "Someone who is really righteous will despise any injustice. Even if he see that obviously with others, he can't stop himself. He can't control himself. When I see something that it's injust, I'm going to what? To protest." By the way, give me an example of someone who fought against injustice three times and each time with different groups. First time is so you have a non-Jew against a Jew. Second time is >> and the third time >> two non-Jews the shepherds and it's daughters and every time Moshe felt he needs to intervene and in each case he could have and would once he did paid a tremendous personal price. He had to flee Egypt which means because it was burning in his bones he cannot tolerate injustice. So he's he did or he act on behalf of the person who's being persecuted knowing that he's going to fight injustice even though it was quote unquote was not his business. Okay. By the way, some people like to talk about pe other people wasting the time of their employer but they do the same but not Yakov. So I just find it interesting that this um that comes in between them telling him that Raphael the son of is coming and repeats it again >> as if he trying to get rid of them because he's coming to uh introduce himself to Raphael. >> So it might be it might be that he you know prepared the ground for uh for the grand meeting. >> Yeah. For the grand meeting. Um but also I think he I think maybe he wanted even to show that you know if you really want it you can do it you can do it by yourself because if you don't want to waste someone's time there is a this is really really a side note I think we said so who is that he removed the rock from the well But the beginning of that sentence is what is so who was the in the he has a book called remember it for many many years it's really it's an interesting dash that he had he spoke about the idea of people who can concentrate on something and you find powers that you didn't know that you have before when you yakov you know like those people who can like karate that they can, you know, they can bring uh break the brick like with the like uh whatever with one uh whatever strike. How can they do that? It's about concentration. It's not that they are stronger than you and it's not that they know exactly where the brick is weak. It's a lot of concentration. He wanted to say meaning when you concentrate on something you can accomplish. Obviously his was about learning Torah, not removing rocks from a well. But that's the idea of of Jacob. So Jacob says to before he leaves, he says, "You know that I I walked at your father with all my might. In the day I was basically, you know, I was cold um or or was overheated and I had sleepless night meaning I worked every day all day for your father which by the way basically learned from here the expectation from an employee >> an employee. There is no time for Instagram, Facebook, social media while you are walking. When you walk, you walk. Um, by the way, interesting. Someone told me, I don't know how true it is or not. I didn't check, but uh, he told me that in some companies when you have a lot of young people, there are three screens for each employee. One with their social media on the screen so they don't need to look on the phone. and two for the >> so they're looking at the screen. >> So they do look >> so the the employer knows it but he doesn't want them to look at the phone because if they will look at the phone they will do other things. So their social media is on the screen. That's I guess like in a high-tech uh >> Google. >> It's Google. >> So it's and when when I heard about it, I said are you >> second? >> Um I hope the walk. >> Yeah. No, everyone at work have two two screens now that this is like the pashoot. Okay. So you have two and the third one is your social media is up so you can look. So you don't feel that you need to look. So if it's there I think they to this guy told me that they made a research and it saves 25% >> time. >> Yeah I was also I was very interested in that. So going back to our case Jacob and that was codified in in the that basically you have the idea of what of that dedication that is being expected from the employee to to have for the employer says bug. We are back to the rob says It says you can learn from here what that the person should try to help others to become better versions of themselves. was very appreciated. >> Oh, okay. We will talk about that in a second. And he says, "And when people feel that you care about them, even with constructive criticism, they will be very receptive to it." Now, it's wonderful. It's interesting, >> not >> sure that it's so um implementable. If there is a world like that um we have right we have the mitzvah to give rebuke to someone that you see that does not do the right thing. Um but we know also that it's very hard mitzvah. Why? Because a we are not perfect. And when we say to someone, hey you didn't recite, hey you you talked during hey you he will look at you and say what right and you don't need a mirror for that. You can have a mini mirror right and to see that we are full of deficiencies as well. That's a b even if you are not and you need to really create this environment of a you're not talking in a superior way that's a and b the other person needs to know that what that you really truly care about them because if I feel that you don't care about me any criticism that you're going to give me even if it's true I will not accept it so it perhaps maybe the two things are connected together which means Yakov created this friendly environment a talking to them in a nice way preparing the ground for what okay meaning in order for them to listen to him he had to create this friendly relationship yes >> okay perfect so that's what the bug says Shadal um said something little different. He says interesting thing. He says he brings the question of his student which by the way and anyone who knows a little bit about uh he brings it many times in his pushim. He brings the questions from his students which is uh obviously a sign for a very I will call it pluralistic environment in his B midash. Not pluralistic. Pluralistic. It means what? A very open uh for questions and answers. Which by the way reminds us of whom? What midrash? I mean not obviously differences. But in many times you will see says what A and answered Bali. Okay. Which means there is some kind of a back and forth and give and take between the rabbi and the students. So the question was that was the question here. Why is that in the middle? Who asked it? Oh, thank you. Basically, he asked the same question. He says they are telling you that is coming with a flock which means people still coming with their flock. So it's not that we are taking a rest. So why do you criticize them? He says he thought that they are that they basically they finished the day and was just late. >> Maybe they were waiting for her. And they will sit there by the well >> doing nothing. They were just waiting there to what >> to do. People watching especially watching not the sheep. Okay. So they were sitting there in order to what? to look at her that his main purpose, main goal was what? To find a wife, form the daughters of Lavan. He became what? >> Jealous. >> Ah, this that's original. >> That's love at first sight. >> That's love at first sight. But that's truly original. Basically, I will repeat it. Basically I saw that uh basically what Yakov did he miscalculated everything he thought that they are done with the day but the question was how could he think like that they told him Rael is coming with the flock which means it's still working day so what do you give them criticism answer he thought that they are done because they are sitting idle and the fact that is coming only now that's because of what she was late she had to put makeup this and that and the other and she left the house late. So he thought that they are sitting there in order to watch her. Then he says no no no no she might be my wife. So I don't want you to bother her. So he basically tell them what what are you doing in order to basically get rid of them so he can what really meet. Now that's original that's nice. Not sure if that's the meaning in what he what he did but it's very nice. Yes. a little bit of a praise God, but maybe you know he just got the from his father that he is going to continue on the heart. And so maybe he's trying too early to assert himself by doing the grit. He calls him, you know, friendly, but meaning that he's not really ready to do it. And that's how he gets himself in trouble by castigating them before really earning their respect. is just starting this journey to continue. >> Okay. Um it's not only an interesting thought I have uh at Russia very similar to what you said um that um when you think about what Yakov did you can meaning it's it's long because that is related to something else that I'm writing whatever the thing is Abraham tried to spread not only monotheism but also kindness and morality among the nations we know that there is An encounter between Ara and Pero, Ara and Aimelik, Ara and Malited, Ara and the king of Zum, right? And Abra and meaning interactions between Abraham and non-Jews around him, nonHebrews, whatever. And he's trying with each one of them to try to teach the morality besides one. with there's almost no talk with a there is a long talk not with why when it will be ready I'll let you know and then it's has the same thing with aime but not as extensive as Abraham and aime and then when Jacob received this brah Jacob also wants to start start spreading not only monutheism but also humanity and ethics and morals and everything so he has the first opportunity but he fails He fails brutally. Why? Because they don't respond to him. They don't talk to him. They talk about him or just in the air. That's a And b he cannot even influence his own father-in-law and his family. So he goes back with zero success. Zero. Um it might be that it was premature and it might be that he didn't find yet the way to do it. And see, it might be that he didn't do a thing to earn the respect yet. Aam definitely earned the respect. Um, it's but yet didn't do a thing to do it. Not only that, if you look at the when switch, you will see that it's almost the same thing like did to almost the same even language. By the way, when Lavan says to Yakov, it's not the practice in our place to give the oldest the youngest before the oldest. The word in our placeal learned from here that Lavan like you know what is like give it to Jacob and he says to him in our place we do not give president today youngest over the oldest. I don't know what's going on in your place. Okay. And in addition, the say it's not in the narrative, but say that when Jacob says to Leah, "What did you do?" She said to him, "And what did you do?" You can understand that there was no love from first sight between Yakov and Leah. Uh, which by the way, the Torah reflected in the names of the children. every every year that when I read it, it's uh it's hard. What is maybe maybe now my my husband will have something not loved. Where else the Torah used the word? and then you have been solved the what a problem. >> So every every year that I read it, you just see that and uh and it's uh it's problematic. There's no question. Okay. So that was Shadal which was very original very interesting permit very very interesting um but not sure how exactly it's the even though he does answer the question of why is that in the middle because according to all the other paranot it's little strange okay says the following meaning the the reason for that statement is he became like their judge because of basically he wants to claim which is also very original. He says that Yakov was not interested so much in the fact that they are wasting their employer's time but rather he had compassion towards the flock says the sheep is just like out there it rains it's too hot and and they suffer and there is which according to one opinion it's the it's from the Torah it's from the Torah according to one opinion the other opinion says it's the So the second reason that brings is that what he wanted to know if the city is too is very far away from the whale and to know if the flag is more of a domestic flight or non-meat. IC. So when they told him that no, it's really close to the city. So he knew he's in the right place, which means he's going to reach Kan in just a few minutes. But let's leave the second explanation that less of an interest to me. I want to look at the first one. Basically, Yakov is coming to tell them what why do you abuse the flock? You leave them by the well. It's too hot or it's too cold and you don't care at all about the flock. Since when Yakov cares so much about the animals. So take a look on page three. It says, right? So traveled to Sukkot. The place is called and he did for himself a house and he made sukkot for the flock. So obviously the question that we asking is why do I care right and for that you're going to call the placekot because he built says you know why it's called because he made for his sheep for his flock. because built. So that's why you call the placeot. So Jacob was the first one to established a movement of what? of what do you call them the group >> the animal rights >> animal >> animal lovers which is so interesting which means basically he says okay you know I'm building a home for my children that's the first thing you do but then I'm going to protect the animals because we are not here to only use them and take advantage of them we need to also what protect them and take care of them which is that's one why of the real opinion says it's midorita but even if you don't say it's midorita we know in that before you eat you give first to your animals to the extent that if you are washing your hands we shouldn't speak but you can ask before you add eat the bread did we feed the animals okay so you can see that the idea of taking care of them is definitely also part of halaka now uh okay because of the time. We're not going to read all of it, but I will tell you what the nativ says. is one of the most famous nativites is called but it's al also called sephash which means upright not righteous says why it's called sephasha because the aot of called what does it mean what does it mean to be so says the native in an incredible way. He says there is another that says the word where say what does it mean? It refers to what? To the time of the mdash. Why? Because in betamed there was there was there were and why was it destroyed? Says the native. What was the nif says some people they looked at the other groups in society and the minute that they determined that they are not doing exactly what they do they called them apicorus duki lamin not religious not Jewish not whatever he says this is not what hashem is looking for he says our they dealt most all all their lives with whom? With non-Jews and you see how they talk to them, how they try to help them, how they dav for them says that's says that's why called is called says Hashem does not want that cannot accept others. Now you can have debates, you can have conflicts, you can have uh you know arguments and you can have debates and not everything goes but the fact that someone does not do exactly what you do does not mean that he or she should be out. Now so in conclusion Yakov is teaching us two things, two main things. A the idea of how you talk to strangers and uh in a way that creates some kind of harmony in society and b the idea that morality and ethics is not only for your for you us like the nation of Israel but it's something that we try to spread to everyone because we believe and I will say it and to know that in a way sometimes I feel that uh This term was taken hostage by others. We fully believe in just with two more words with God's kingdom with these values. We believe we need to fix this world and the beginning of fixing this world is with morality and ethics. How do I know that? Because that's what the NEIM told us as the nation of Israel. 80 85% of what the Nim are telling us is about what our lack of morality and ethics. You look okay, they are talking about the corruption in our society before they speak about because it starts there. And why does it start there? Because that's why Ara was chosen. they will guard the path of God to do and this is why a was chosen and if that's true we sometimes I think lost sight of it because of galut and everything but we shouldn't lose sight of this essential component of who we are and our destiny is to be all and part of it definitely not only to keep Shabbat and mitzvot which is obvious but also to be the most ethical and moral nation on earth.