Parshat Vayechi: Blockages and Blindness By Shira Smiles

this is the meia conceal part of Torah it's a more powerful part the white and black reflect what Amel is about and what Torah is about we're working on two levels there's the black revealed level and there's the white concealed level and they're happening simultaneously we interact with which part of the world the part that we what that we see we the news every day or we shouldn't open the news every day a and we're we're seeing what's in front of us what we don't see is who these nishas of these soldiers are what we don't see is the interaction of Good and Evil we don't see any of this all I see is black on white the newspaper of what is told in front of me the world has so much more depth we look at the pay and we don't see the best even though albeit the bed is what brigh brighter and and but we don't see it that my friends is I I is what gulus is gulus is living a life of black letters with the inability to see the white letters and indeed we know and this is the end of nine why do we have a break at all in Theus to be a able to give time to contemplate and to process what you've just learned that's about seeing the white letters that's about seeing the blank space that's about seeing now that I've just taught you something integrate it make it yours you know this is like my own frustration this is personal where I go from sheer to sheer and like can we just hold on to this year for a little bit longer and now I'm on the next one already and the next one and like you just need time to take the ideas andess process it like I feel like I'm on a all of us yeah you know and in in learning like stop you know each of these ideas is a gold mine can you just what you have a question on this yes I do go ahead no my question is how do you see the white if it seems invisible yeah that that's the question yeah yeah yeah you can't but yet we're trying yeah yet we're trying that's the best you do you're perfect you're doing great I mean I don't know if you're perfect I don't know you but your statement was on target not that you're not perfect I I still know you it wasn't an insult don't this you don't need to go I didn't I insult anybody walk out my God what what about those people that saw the white first does that mean they're like more penetrated could be could be that that they're that they're holding in a different place yeah now hello I'm starting here I'm in the arrow in 10 the par which the account Exile begin is a closed chapter there's no space for contemplation between the chapters the essence of Gus is the inability to contemplate and that's why M came in par to CL said hello I'm you know hasem says you're going to get out of here they didn't listen to Hashem they were so burdened by their work that they didn't have time to what to do this thinking 11 Gus's situation of shortness and breath we see the physical world around us the black but fail to notice the breath of his mouth The Godly spirit that gives it life likewise we have extensive knowledge in the Torah mitzvos but their inner spirit is concealed from us the eyes and heart of the Jews became blocked our minds grasp things at their external level but we lack the part of consider it in your heart we have difficulty connecting to them with our hearts the eyes of our mind are blocked I love this expression we suffer from spiritual shortsightedness it's a great expression we find it difficult to connect to the pemus beneath the veneer of the physical world we are preoccupied with the physical demands parasa Health we work so hard it's difficult for us to remember and connect to a true tras in this world in spiritual matters too we invest the Practical details but being in Godless we have difficulty contemplating and connecting to them and that my friends it's a description of our lives and a description of my morning just everything is upside down and and it's hard to connect however when mashiach comes the world will be filled with an awareness of Hashem and the physical details will be trivial in comparison so when will we see the white light so to speak that is in the times of mashiach moving to the next page that when I walk outside and I see the uh trees what do I immediately notice it's the word of God I see an apple I see this is God's gift to this world right now I look at an apple and I what I see an apple I don't cut to the [Music] core that was very appealing Source 15 when Masia comes the Inner Light of our hasem will also emerge we'll keep the mitv and as before but now there'll be an expression of our connection with Hashem every Al that we keep will be another expression of our closeness with hem the white space within the Torah letters will glow the mitvah must be actively fulfilled as that is the only way to connect to the Inner Light just as the inner white letters only revealed through the lines of the black letter but the spirit of the M mitos will be dominant you need the black the base won't come out without the black you need to go through the technical part of doing but you can't lose out on the inner meaning and Beauty so idea number one we've established is what does it mean that their eyes and hearts were blocks we're speaking about the blocked Hearts right now where you can go through the motions but you're not feeling a level of connection gulus is a state when we are so overwhelmed that we aren't able to connect to that deeper part that's Nudo one the idea of the blind eyes is in rev Lansky safer golden apples I've yet to understand the safer but I'm going to present parts of it now he speaks about why do I need light in general I can be able to see things through groping what do light come to add and he says in the squiggling 16 light plays a far greater role than simply making objects visible by creating a world Hashem effectively made things that are apart and separate from himself within the context of the world these creations have their own being and this is our challenge our challenge is to be able to use our D our knowledge and our SE to be able to grasp the things around us and this is what light is about we use the Expression I finally seen thee light finally seeing the light doesn't mean I've seen the fluorescent lights it means I have Clarity I have understanding that's what the light of creation is all about that's what the ability to see is about I'm able to analyze I'm able to foresee the future I'm able to be a I'm able to make the decisions that is why in 18 when describing the book of chating it [Applause] describes the danger is that people then decide to do whatever they want this occurs when a person takes this Grand overarching ability of sight and moves it past its appropriate boundaries when we do this we invite gullas I'm in the bracket in 18 it is hashem's med connect and Med response for Gus takes away us away from Isel and the B of mdash it extinguishes the light of the world who become stuck among the nations are inability to see is the most difficult aspect of Gus here's the punchline not only do we have problems but we don't even know what our problems are that's real blindness therefore we certainly don't know how we're supposed to respond to them and correct them hence at the briis B of sing with describes thatu experienced this deep darkness that enveloped him this darkness that enveloped him is just an expression of living in Gus which is I don't know what the right thing is we are right now living in Gus even in erus and we see this like again for those of you who read the newspapers we don't know what the right course is right we don't even know what to name this War I mean we're we're we're we're in such a state of Darkness confusion right that's what it's about that's what we're experiencing now and this is why the second part of Rashi which again I don't really want to touch on today because it's a sheer many sheer in its own right that yov ainu wanted to be Malala the cas he wanted to tell us the end and his eyes were closed a enough what's yu saying I know you're going to go through Goos but if I would tell you when the end is that will make it what so much easier right you tell anybody who's going through a difficult time you know what you'll get married at 28 in three days okay great so I can go through whatever I'm going through you know you'll get better at four years and three months okay so I go through but I know in four years and three months we'll be over with that's what yov wanted to do for us he wanted to give us at least something to to all on to said no flip the page please today we do not know or understand anything the wrong way to go about solving the gullis is by trying to figure it out the maral writes that when you reveal the end you destroy the purpose of this gulls the purpose is not knowing the purpose is struggling when I don't don't know the end and I have to what through it yeah I have to hold on and struggle through it that's it B perfect the endlessness is the Gus itself this is the darkness when people look for shortcuts to get out of gullos they're defeating its purpose the answer to ouros Is Not a particular aod or schoa it's not about giving x amount of money stuck always helps and then you will be saved from whatever s you're in no it's not a wand a magic wand again stuck is important and feel is important sometimes we need to rely on someone else with a capital S we need to real realize that our eyes are not good and no one's eyes are good when a person is blind he has to reach out a hand and ask for help it's up to us for it is up to us to reach out to Hashem the only one who could truly guide us out of our long and bitter gulls bottom line their eyes are are are shut is we have to realize that our eyes are shut when we think we see and we're really not seeing because we're in this in this Darkness that's when we're really in trouble we have to realize that we're groping in the dark and doing the best we can so my friends we finished the first two ideas and that is their hearts are blocked they see the black letters not the white letters the pemos is missing and the eyes are blocked that we are living in a world where we don't have Clarity we don't know collectively and individually we don't know what the right path is should I do X or should I do y I don't know and this is the struggle that we endure yes it possible to ask a question has a negative purpose right so that's a very good question you're asking when darkness is imposed on us and when we impose our own Darkness on us I like the question I want to hold it I don't want to respond but I like it okay I want to hold it know some questions need just to be held in process I'm not running to to answer everything let hold it I like it I'll just comment even though I'm holding it I can't resist it's getting better thanks who's counting um wolin times even self-imposed darkness comes from being in dark and I'm just going to leave it at that okay my friends L us talk about what do you mean that their eyes and heart were closed they entered into whatever way you want to understand that the state of of of of Darkness the state of constricted when yovin died when the gullas only really started when Le died so hello could we deal with this please and we need to deal with it and I want to deal with it on a number of levels the first part will be looking at it from the perspective of yakobo we'll look at it from two ways and then I want to flip it around from the perspective of Cl Isel I want to take a look goodbye black pen it's 22 it's above 24 the and he says the following according to his father R when it describes thees it describes in bracket hasem says my eyes and heart will be there all the days which is referring to the bdash the bdash was a place where the eyes of hasem which is the Divine Providence and the heart which is the love of Hashem to his people was most pronounced in the bdash there they saw how much Hashem loved them and how much Hashem was concerned for their life now we're going back to our SATs if we're going back to the tape recorder we can go back to SATs AAL b bals c aals c do you remember that uh okay if this the B is a place where hashem's presence was felt we know that the oh the The House of the ofos and the MOS was a many we know that the tent of singu there was a a candle live from a of shabas of shabas and that's obviously thei there was AA and that's the that stayed fresh the that's obviously the on the Bas of and and and this is the whole idea that the ran says that the ends with ultimate GAA when Hashem comes back and we reach the level of the bait where Hashem is resting on us so if hem rests on the B of mdash and the 's home is the bdash so obviously then a equals c Hashem rests on the 's home did you see how I jumped to that therefore when Yakov dies what happens the intense manifestation of the sh is lost hence thein on 23 thus the first Sheba that the Torah leads to alludes to second paragraph here it's not only the physical labor that P were subject to which began only after theim died yes but it refers to the she of nees the spiritual G that suffered in that began as soon as yov when the concealed itself causing theel to feel lost separated from their source so idea number one which makes a lot of sense I mean everything does but we can resonates with us that immediately upon yaku's death there was a certain darkness that came into this world of course the sh's with them but not in the same what same intensity already when he died they felt like whoa we're entering into a period of Darkness I would use a better word a period of concealment second idea related second idea 24 when when he was alive he was their go-to man whatever they needed he was able to to to tell them right the way the zakov describes it by the way the question came up here last week about B Mel even though I'm not quing him today was heic or not and I and I asked my husband was heic or not he said yes no I said Gee I had the same response I felt so much better and then he explained to me why we both had the same response as he was he was Shi they called them the Chalmers that they wear cidic gar but they are Lish what' you say right exactly like the S right right but they look like right right so that is why we both had that uh I felt better when he had the same response I said Gee I had also that response so he was lfish but he was you he you were Shel me okay okay I did look into that um so zakov points out the son hedrin are referred to as the the eyes of the people and the Mel in 26 was referred to as the LA the Liam sh Isel so yov ainu being their leader was both their eyes and their heart is it not interesting in 27 when Rashi describ Rhymes he saw their suffering sayashi quotes Le he put his eyes and his heart to feel their pain hence he could be the Redeemer because the Redeemer is somebody who has both the eyes and the Heart of Direction you know when I read this piece I I was thinking just personally I work in a seminary that that was founded by rman bulman's that s and when anytime there was a question they would go to rev Bulman by the time I got to the Seminary rev Bulman was not alive so there was another Persona and both these rabbis pictures are are as soon as you walk into school ra oret that's out who was also uh a pedagogue uh par exelant and um when I was he was a teacher but wasn't only teacher any situation that came up I'm talking about a situation of you know you know naturally have schnitzel for lunch or chicken yeah um we would go to rev as as teachers as the administration he was somebody who had the ability not only to see a situation but to feel a situation and when you're missing that you're in Goos right even though of course they are Shas but it's not the same to have that point person that's what a God is is somebody who has the eyes and the Heart who's able to have that Clarity when yobu died of course they weren't in physical she but not only did they lose the they lost that individual who became the world that I'm going to say Point person but not in a in a in in the greatness of such a person who's going to be able to to to help them out that's from the perspective of Yakov now let's look at it from the perspective of the people and we're going to find something very fascinating we'll begin with the caka we'll begin with the OS above 20 31 it's 28 as soon as died it began the slippery slope okay they weren't you know building the pyramids but it already began and the clayakar notes this that no blank spaces 29 is found in the text means that the concluding verse of the previous passage and the opening verse of the present one should be read and understood together the two verses should be read thus Israel said in the land of Egypt and region of Goan they acquired property in Israel they were fruitful multiplied greatly yov lived in the land of Egypt 17 years and the day of yako of the years of life were 147 and caker notes they acquired property they were prosperous there in the bracket but the State of Affairs prevailed only as long as Yakov was alive as the next verse States 17 years after Yakov Vino's demise the situation changed and it changed drastically for the worst no longer did they dwell comfortably no longer do they continue to own properly now R Moshe listen to this R Moshe ra mosha find S sturdy why is the despair of the bondage associated with the yako of death when it did not start until much later and to answer we may say that Hashem began to find fault with the Jews for failing to appreciate they were in Exile even though they lived theid luxury and plenty for the king of Egypt treated them kindly they should have realized that Hashem and na to Egypt to enjoy its pleasures and that merely being under the jurisdiction of other nations is a great Exile even when those Nations treat us with kindness and generosity no kidding does this um sound very contemporary little too a little too much that was the right answer you hit it but the Jews did not see this fundamental factor in jakob's lifetime but while they still enjoyed the abundance of Egypt orer them they first recognized this after their father died and they realized that without power's permission they' not be able to Bear a Yakov with his fathers then the shock of being in Exile sprang upon them and suddenly they become bitterly aware of its imp implications it was then even though the bondage did not yet started that their eyes and hearts closed from the pain of Exile is that why he to swear ah ah very good that's why I asked them to swear listen closely to R Source 31 yob Vu the question is why did he have to plead with ysf where the text I began with if I find favor in your eyes and if you do this with me and swear to me and Y responds sure ABA I'll bury you in Egypt no problem and he said no no no I need you to what I need you to swear to me why all of this and the double bracket for again the eyes he understood that as soon as he died things were going to change who now is the ruler and everything's under his jurisdiction he is also going to be demoted and he's going to have to to work hard to get him to be buried hence he makes him swear and this is the key in the arrow listen to the Pim and if you go to SCH or you read the par yourself listen to this closely y says that Jose elro when yoseph sadic is looking to bury his father he doesn't speak to parro he speaks to B parro the house of parro and he says please pleading speak to the ears of parro aani my father made me swear had he not made me swear guess what it goes even further I want you to listen to this because every time I listen to this par I almost have like this it began already listen to 33 32 they go up to ER Israel the Elders of his household and all the Elders of the land of Egypt and when we learn this in third grade fourth grade this is a wonderful scene they all show respect to yovino I want us to learn it a little bit deeper right now and all of yosef's households his brothers and his father's household listen to the next line right uh 32 Theus you with me it's yeah only their young children their flocks and their cattle do they leave in the region of Goan what does this remind you of it is foreshadowing remember when pyro says yeah you can leave but only your children and cattle need to stay here ah what is parro afraid of listen to the next part and he brought up with them both chariots and Horsemen and the camp was very imposing why do I need chariots and horsman my friends it's the Army to bring it's the Army to bring them back the sheot has already begun you're not free people anymore we want to make sure you come back the kids and the flock stay here the army goes up with you and we will make sure you are back back so why did they need them if they weren't slaves yet they were thinking about making them slaves this was their plan and this is why even though it hasn't officially started at of respect for the tribes but once the last one died the paperwork was already in also you know like they're enjoying the Jews enjoy the the success they have in America I'm going to touch on this on the last level the other thing say reminds me of yes R not want to go in kept their cattle right outside kept their cattle outside and their kids and they went in okay interesting connection good okay second idea second idea is the near usia 34 the commentary explained that until Yo's death the Jews in Egypt have felt like refugees seeking a temporary Haven in a foreign land living in their ghetto in the iol just of Goan for the most part they kept to themselves remained in the backwaters of Egypt uh I lost it Egyptian Society waiting for the day when they would finally have the opportunity to return to the Homeland Jews spoke Hebrew learned tarah all their actions and attitudes continue the way to the forefathers everything changed when Yakov died in his absence the Jews experienced a severing of their bonds with the past they developed the feeling that their place was in Egypt alongside the most advanced nations in the world in civilized world and not in Canan a Barren undeveloped Wasteland inhabited by Waring clans of primitive Savages why should we leave this land of endless opportunity and return to that the Jews uh sorry next part the Jews that they would do well to bury the past along with yob abdicate their unique Heritage KIRO isim they might have decare and that's what sh Rashi means they intentionally Clos their eyes to the anguish of servitude to the fact they were in Exile refused to behave as strangers in a land not their own wow this is so contemporary the way Theos quoting and the Sher Tu of Tu wife said so quoting theur says that it wasn't not only in their behavior by going to the circuses of and and integrating they L from Yu the gak of yish Kai and that and again on the level that we're talking about these were great people right but we're pretty in contemporary terms Yakov ainu gave them that connection to that the the the spirit and the joy that you have in your life comes from Torah mitos when yob was no longer here they lost that sense in the arrow in 36 spiritually their they were their eyes were closed what was the difficult hard labor work was they felt like H doing MIT and we know this at and I tell this to my students all the time the speak abouto and the pit was empty there was no water snakes and scorpions were there say the b musard there's nothing exists in a vacuum if you're not going to have water which is Torah then snakes and scorpions will fill the void if you're not going to feel that Gish in in learning Torah so then what something else needs to fill it and and unfortunately that something else is is not good you know I had one of these moments it's very rare so I'm going to share it with you these moments where like you see the light bulb goes on I just had this yesterday that's why I'm sharing nothing to do with anything I teach a class in T mitzvos and appreciating the depth of of mitzvos so I was talking about benching yesterday and and the phobia people have a benching like oh my gosh I have to wash and Ben I'm not really eating pizza for a meal I'm eating it at a snack and I'm eating like a quarter of a quarter of the quarter that and that's so I met the kids and obviously 18-year-olds and 80-year-olds can appreciate this uh this challenge so I was talking about what the beauty of benching is and why do we have all these at the end the that when you do a Mitzvah like lighting shabas candles you open up Pathways of eight rut zone of time of favor and it's just a time of connection so even though for women benching it's for men it's so you're Mish like anytime you do a MIT you open the heavens I said you ever wonder why in benching we ask for like what isi doing at my table like it's not P I said because once you are benching you what sky's the limit for what you could ask for right so I had one girl and this was like a a moment I had a freezez it who said Mrs Smiles do you think we should wash and bench every day to be able to bring down this BR and I'm like wow something has gotten through to these 18-year-olds head it it was a moment I just had to share it because again it's such a rare moment could you appreciate that moment as a teacher yes okay as long as you understood what I was talking about like make a big deal about something go ahead you have a question I have like a disturbing comment so I apologize right so so I'm just going to repeat the comment for for the uh for the machine here okay and then I want to comment the comment which is an excellent comment is that we can not only get comfortably physically we can also be comfortable spiritually that uh the of Lita that the thousandth year of learning Torah in Europe was also something that you can get comfortable spiritually as well I would add to that question howad bav is in B right so you know the Reon him we're all in Italy and Spain so it's not just Europe you find this throughout Gus is still Gus even when you have spiritual um Oasis throughout history you and and the greatness and and we appreciate that it still go it gets back to her comment it gets back to my last level I need to hold off which is also go which is also go as well 100% we're still in Gus here but it's a different aspect of Gus and I want to get to that in the fourth level but I'm not there yet and I'm going to have to get there soon because I'm waiting for a B sure to come in and wave to me so I'm holding off I I have sorry apologize we can talk later okay I'm sorry I just have this big blue clock in front of me I want to talk about the nine letter space and then if we have time we can chose the nine letter space another level of nem this page looks a little bit daunting the next page so I'm going to do it outside so that way I finish faster and and that's the following I want to share with you sit back hold on tight because we're going to have to go up a little bit in the air this isman a little bit of B's Torah a little bit Torah we know says 37 we praise hem for all that is good for the endless kindness so says to the extent that a person is able to see the goodness even among the challenges to that extent they have the ability to be able to soften the Judgment when you're able to say then right and you see this now with these refugees who are able to just focus in on the goodness the kindness now watch this hold on tight which is the the name of Mercy is the numerical value is 26 y hey V hey is 26 when we are in a time of din which we're now a time of of of of more strict Justice we're not able to access the fullness of the Y and therefore we tap into what we call the misar these are all legitimate ideas here if you learned Miss parat means you dro the zeros so yud is in 10 what does yud become one how much is yud he V if yud is one 17 17 which is the numerical value of Tove of good that you're able to see the goodness right yinu lives 17 years you're able to see the goodness even in the Gus in the difficulty now if you're able to do that then you'll be worthy of if you spell out which is also part of working with gatas the yud v in its full spelling yud I'm inan the circle asteris y v hey y v y v hey y it's a numerical value of of kindness you'll be able to have the full extent of hashem's kindness what is our challenge our challenge is to be able to see the goodness in the darkness that is the job of the nine letters the difference between the yud K VK 26 when it's spelled out and the Mis 17 is nine the nine letter space is for us to move from the 17 seeing the Justice seeing God in difficulty to move it to at least being able to tap into the ra the y k the white letters is for us to be able B to see what is not in front of us to be able to tap into that base that white light that deeper part that's what the point of the breaks are I just read a section and I say oh my gosh how could this happen this isn't fair stop nine letters you're in the yud KK of the din I need you to move nine letters to be able to get to the Y KK of the 26 of being able to see the r of says 43 you can read through this yourself that this was where the people couldn't manage they weren't able to after Yakov ainu died to appreciate the goodness they weren't able to say Gamul Lova which by the way is 17 letters okay they weren't able to see this they were stuck in the darkness now I'm going to start on the next page 44 that is true only when Yakov was alive but now that we have Torah the Torah has taught us that the tah has taught us to always be able to see the what the goodness in everything thing that happens hence in 45 R Wilson Feast of faith we did this last week K safer that the saer that yov that the section of the paruma begins with Yakov lives Jews don't fall into despair when fac with difficulty even spiritual challenges we live we build we go on WE rejoice in the goodness we do have and keep strengthening ourselves even in G that's really the message message for us the message for us is to try to be able to see goodness within the challenges and as Rabbi rosenb brings in a safer if you say to yourself let me see if I can find goodness you'll be challenged rather say to yourself I know there is goodness let me reveal it because in every black space there's white letters the the black fire on the White Fire is the way the Torah was written and the white fire is a more profound fire we have to be able to see that light that there's a lot more than meets the eye that's our challenge andak he never dies exactly good go ahead so what did they that's a good question that's a question the far asked you hit the question question how they bury him yeah what did they bury oh what did they bury okay go ahead yes you know he I mean he knew his father was a alive but he kept that he was in right he kept that imagery around yes right keeping the imagery of the father is the one way to get out of Goos 100% you're right the other other weren't able to do this yeah that's able to what happens after yeah okay good good mind wow she kept the image of the freed Cor in her mind that's how she's able to live as a Jew I need kosher food I can't do things on chabas because she had that image in mind one of the one of the women that's how she REM maintained and they gave it to and they gave it to her wow I have a problem with yob on the one hand have all those years of sadness and he didn't have the he did not have but he was the light of the Jewish he was still the light of Jewish people without yes 100% without yeah let's do the last idea my friends because uh I'm um ohos let's just flip this around just a little bit and and and he quotes here from the adore I don't know how to pronounce it somebody here will help me thank you four it's it's above it's it's I don't know it's above I don't 47 which looks like a 41 I Don't Know let me put this in English as does for me why is this so let's let's turn this around we need not let me rephrase this we can't have a break between and it has to be a why because were in erel and the only way to go through G is always being connected to ER Israel if there was a break between the two then we would have that's the idea of Le their eyes are being blocked we're entering into gullos what is the that hasem did he made it a parasa he said that even though you're going into gof you are always always be connected to the spiritual Source called Isel which says the Mahar this is 47 and 48 the seven looks like a one I know that says the very famous Mahar Goos is the best indication of GAA says the maharal obviously much longer here that what everything has to return back to its source that's the way Hashem created the world the source of clly orbe it we're in gar Isel nevertheless this is our what this is our homeland Jews need to return back here look at our doing over and over again it's about what coming back Bening we're coming back here to live in G even if it's a thousand years in Lita or in bua or in Spain that's good for the time period but you always have to have your eyes at every wedding we have to be focused here Hashem is doing us the of theuma that we should never forget where we come from and I want to end and we did it in 49 which looks like a 412 there I'm GNA get the black pens this is by in when m is referred to as an an Egyptian saved us what do you mean Egyptian saved us one who admits they come from Israel We buried in Israel y who said is referred to himself as an i he was buried in is M was called he wasn't buried in so as the but give me a break M was what never there like you can't fool them Listen to This n the Torah I want you to go home with this you ask any Jew it doesn't matter where they live from one end of the world to the other Australia South Africa Panama it doesn't matter where are you from the I'm from even if he and his ancestors never walked in is if not he's sinting against his land that's the message of of gullos that even when we're in gullos we have to always be anchored back into our spiritual home and that spiritual home is AR i' come for today