Parshat Chayei Sarah Eliezer's Quandry by Rabbi Ari Kahn

so what I'm going to do is I'm going to go back to something that we've done in the past and then at some point I'm going to uh move in a slightly different direction you're going to have far too many sources CU just given the late start I'm not going to go through everything that we have but uh we're going to hopefully believe nether get to the the main point so we we're starting in I'm not going to say random very it's very specific it didn't happen randomly we're starting in a place where it begins to tell us about the mission that the evid of Abraham goes on says as follows he goes and he takes the camels and all kinds of wonderful things now early in the week I spent lots of time too much time trying to figure out exactly where he was going to and and uh those who don't know there is some Intrigue regarding the where aam was born and where he grew up and so on the ramban trying to get through all of the source material ends up creating a very complicated narrative so if you like complexity you'll find the ramban later on but he goes to Aram to the city where lived he parked his camels near the well so he does this in the evening during the time that it was the proper time for people to come looking for water now and again all of this sounds familiar we've done this before if it doesn't sound familiar then all the better so when does he arrive he arrives as it's about to be evening it's about to become evening they're about to they come outar now it's possible that the little squiggly thing on on top of the me in vomar which is a shet which read which really kinds of uh turns the words as if they were being if they were being uh stuttered as it were so he says you know God please and maybe I should bold one more word here and that is hay because he says let this happen today but what's the problem with it saying let it happen today the problem is is that it's which means what he just now did is he does not give God a great deal of time to be able to perform this Wonder so I just want to now again I want to I want to pause or stop and just to consider two different possibilities one possibility is that this EV who in this whole chapter is never named which itself is a little strange because it goes out of the way and gives far more descriptions to tell us who he was other than telling us who he was although I could tell you that he is Eleazar and I'm not saying that because kazal say that I'm saying it for a different reason which I will tell you very soon the two ways of looking at it is essentially one that he wants to succeed two that he wants to fail now why would somebody want to fail so Kaz tell us a beautiful narrative and they say that he had a daughter so if he had a daughter he says listen let's make a sh you know you have a son I have a daughter now any of you who have daughters who are not married I think can understand this and you know you can throw everything else into it maybe you can look at elazar as about chuva and he has his daughter and now that he became from so now uh listen this could be an appropriate sh why not why by the way that's the best argument why not and uh but Abraham on the other hand says no no no you know you know you go you know travel a long way so elzar's got all the power in his hands right now and he says listen I went I tried and uh it didn't happen now I don't know if you like that way the other way is to say and this is also found in kazal again I built it up a little bit kazal said he had a daughter that's what he wanted and I and I'm building it up and focusing on this one Turning Point the other thing is that kazal say is listen this is a really long chapter why waste I'm sorry for using that word why waste 67 verses on this dating and you know I've married Sarah we didn't learn anything about that right we could easily have just said we could have skipped this we could have gone straight to next week's paraa and say that that y was 40 years old and he married Rifka been you know bell end of story that's the whole thing and none of us would have said hold it a second what happened to the scene by the water what happened to the well what happened to the camels some of you will say what happened to the jewelry but none of that if we didn't know it we would not be missing it because we wouldn't know that we're missing it so not only does it go and tell us detail about it it's even worse because it tells us the detail twice it tells us when it happens and then it tells us when he tells it over afterwards and if you want a little bit more trouble when it's told over the second time it's not exact the same way that it was the first time he conveniently changes some things which itself makes the whole thing uh suspect so what we have over here are are okay and now what do kazal say about this kazal say the following they say this man grew up in Abraham's tent which means he is seen so much his telling of a story we can learn more from this than various verses of other parts of the Torah because this is going to teach us and presumably what will teach us about is amuna I I have a friend if you want I can say the name I don't have to say the name very big right he's well known I I'll go so far as to say if Rabbi lonstein was the greatest student of Rabbi salvic in the 50s and Rabbi Shar was in the 60s this fellow is a very good candidate to have been the student in the 1970s his name is Rabbi Kim Enon so uh once he traveled to Brooklyn I think he stopped by my house I'm pretty sure he stopped then but where was he going he had heard that there was a fellow in an old age home in Bensonhurst who and now I'm now now I'm remembering the story I actually remember I know who it is even who uh there's was a guy in in an old age home who grew up in brisk and knew rim and he said to me I want to look in the eyes of somebody who saw Rim in his eyes he met Rim I want to see him ABA if I'm not mistaken it was Rabbi A's father now I'm thinking about it I think that's who I think that's who it was I can try to find out I can reconstruct I can track down and uh and try to figure this out his uh the the son or the grandson of this fellow would be Robert or a who uh who is a famous religious um anyway so let's get back over here elazar or the evid however you prefer one way of looking at it is why is there so much detail is because we can learn a lot so one way I want to look at this is going to be really positive and what we can learn from someone who knew Abraham and the other way I want to look at this is really cynical of a guy who does doesn't want the test to be successful now I'm not going to ask you which one you like better because that will tell me far more about you then it will tell me about Abraham or elzar or rif or anyone else in the story yes you all understand that and agree if you right I'll learn if you are people of great faith or if you are people who are very cynical so I don't need to know this cuz the truth is I already know but let let me let me continue then no not you you okay anyway let me let me let me continue so we get to this verse he gets to this place and he says you know with our right let it happen today here I am by the well and girls are coming out the girl comes at and offers me water and offers water to the camels as well you then have proven the point to your servant right we found the and now I'll know that you've performed now should I say this in the positive way the positive way is listen this guy's gone to war with Aram literally he's gone to war with Aram he's seen unbelievable things take place so he knows that when when you're doing something for Aram again I could Channel The Blues Brothers and say you're on a mission from God but over here you are on a mission from God by the way you're you're on a mission I know Jesse anything about Chicago is good I know that that he's of course it's going to work out there's no question this is going to work out it has to work out and therefore he essentially gives God a couple of seconds to do it I'm going to get here before nightfall you know send her over and we'll take care of it we'll turn around and go back home and mission accomplished which means one way of looking at this and and again I'm all focusing on this time frame small amount of time do this God girl right and and then I'll know the other way I'm looking at it is if he wants to fail I went there I tried I went looking for her nobody you know passed the test and therefore it's uh and therefore you know it's time to uh to go back home it's it's not you know it's not uh I tried and then if he has to go back home listen I tried and you know one of the local girls so maybe we can go back to the beginning you know say aam did I ever mention to you that I have a daughter and then we can start having that conversation again so as I said you can go two different ways and let us go back now to the PK so he get says you know here's the test the girl comes out and says it pedv which is remarkable the words did not come out of his mouth yet and like clockwork without the words didn't come out yet by the way according to the understanding is he thought this he had this thought and that's it and she shows up you can actually say it's not a thought byar he says it either way the words come out and she's right there and she's the right one we know that already he may not know can I have some up way this looks like he wants to do it again he wants to succeed that's what I'm saying go back and forth please drink and then she gives him water I'm going to go and draw more water as much as is needed until your camels finish drinking now so now if we were to stop right here I think all of us would admit that that's it game over success if you want to go a little bit deeper why did why was this the test the word kept coming up essentially he needs a girl who's going to fit into the ab family you know we had that wonderful snapshot of Abraham's tent back in the beginning of par V strangers come you go running off and you get you according to Rashia at least it was tongue with mustard AB you come in the wrong paraa last week you know would have had tongue for you but I mean it's it's on the paraa no what can you do but he's making all of these things you need a girl who's going to follow in the same approach and therefore having the test being becomes the right test for somebody who's going to come and move into the aam family so again all that makes sense and if we were to stop right now we would say okay she passed and then we have a couple of things which are really difficult to understand so it says as follows and let's be really careful now love and the man is in shock and he's silent and he's wondering has God helped him be successful or not now what do you mean is he successful or not he gave the test the test and she passed by the way I hope you like this in last week's paraa we had and God tested Abraham and in this week's paraa we have and elezar tests God so did God pass at this point yeah he passed he found the right girl everything is good by the way now you see why it's so hard for some people to find the sh you know you just had cre yamu and still I don't know I'm not sure if she's the right one and so on and so forth by the way on the other hand for all yes who don't want to waste any time going on dates this is a great startup find some EV to go on the date for you you can stay in Yeshiva you send them all you send him to travel let him go out let him give the test let him figure out if it's the right one it's very romantic anyway okay I guess it's not going to be a startup so but but what do you mean he's he's now he's wondering you know is this the right one that was the test and she passed which means we don't like people like this we get upset with this you give a test you pass the test it's over you passed the test so it says on the one hand he wants to know is he successful now I I I'm going to come back to this because I think I'm misleading you and I apologize a little I apologize but a little and as soon as they finish drinking and now she's passed the test old girls have been told that you can't wear a nose ring well here's an uncomfortable PK not that nose rings are comfortable but here's a right she gets a and anyone getting engaged can ask for two I guess they're silver gold silver gold um bracelets s yes gold gold bracelets two of them and then after doing all this he says now now who are you now that's really interesting one thing that I want you to notice is that the sequence of the the way the things are told over that that are told over here is not the way that he's going to tell it over later it's also a little strange why would he just give me one second why would he give her the jewelry and then ask who you are which means apparently it sounds like his hesitation is he wants to know is this you know the right girl is she from the right family if that's the case then why give her the jewelry which means there it's very hard to follow the story line here on the one hand that's AIT it's a Mitzvah no so slow down a second on the one hand he gives a test you know the gar is going to say this kind of reminds us of right if the test is not a good test then don't do it over here he gives the test and there well I wonder if she passed but before wondering if she pass he gives her the jewelry and then he's and then he starts asking you know what family you from by the way if you don't know this later on when he tells over the story he changes the sequence over here yes do you remember this you don't remember this right he says fine go back me that's why over here it sounds like he didn't even say it over there it said vomar he did say it over here before I can even think it so again here you have another change I asked for water and she says I'll give you un your gambl as well I asked her who are you do you like that switch the order around and so over here first he asks who are you and then and he says look this was a test pass the test and there's no hesitation over here when he tells of the story there's no hesitation know he knows 100% so this is also interesting that how he shifts it and I just want to go back a second he he gives her the jewelry and then he and then he asks about and she says let's go back got the jewelry now again let's be honest it really does does sound very much that he wants to pass the test he believes he passed the test yeah there's an interesting thing but we don't understand that hesitation now Rashi is going to tell us about this hesitation I don't know if I bothered with this Rashi I have so many other things for you but let me open up the the the perid and where it says that he hesitates Al and to see what exactly is the hesitation Rashi writes M sorry Rashi writes he he's in total in shock why because look how close it is to coming through by the way that just now may have diminished a little bit the faith but he doesn't didn't know yet if it's from the right family by the way if that's the case then why did he give her the jewelry already meaning rashi's a little difficult but rashi's difficult for a whole another reason does anybody know why rashi's difficult Rashi says old it doesn't know it's the right family so I have I have a question when he was given his instructions was he ever told to go to Abraham's family so let's stop a second and now let's go back Estee you've taught this part you've taught this or you've learned it well I see that you know I've heard it from you ah okay I don't remember saying it but good so now let's let's go back now and let's take a look as to what the instructions actually were which again ironically some say because he had a son and some say because he didn't have a daughter or he did have a daughter he had a daughter her name was ball like Lauren that was her name so it then continues and it says do you see how easy it would have been to say Eleazar his servant El servant the guy runs his house and which me see Kaz say using our favorite Theory conservation of characters that of course it's elezar because he's the one who's been described various ways again when aam didn't have a son it says who's going to inherit me all that I have is elezar and he's the one who's described as the who runs his household so of course it's Eleazar but but see I would say something else when I said before that his name is elezar and and and you may have looked at me a little funny when I said that of course he's elezar because he tests if God is with him and God is with him God does miracles for him elezar God helped which means he gives this test and God and God God passed the test why does God because God is with him so it's Eleazar so I'm not saying he's elezar in the sense because that's what that's the name that his father gave him and by the way I'll remind you of the midash which is cited by the taram yatan that his father was Nimrod I don't think Nimrod named his son Eleazar by the way that also explains why he's so tough why he's like hundreds of people he's so strong because he's nimrod's son may be going to war with Nimrod which of course is very funny that aam goes and you know Nim tries to kill him and he walks away turning his son into a Believer talk about taking revenge on somebody right turned him into a follower of Aram so so again Poetic Justice it's beautiful so now you have you have this uh but I'm going to say it again forget about anything I know about him this person described in this chapter is Eleazar because God helped him God took him right to the right place he took him exactly to the right thing put the right words in his mouth the right test took place the everything happens but still we're missing something so let's try to take a look what it is that we're missing so he he says to this servant this elder servant the guy who runs his household make this vow he makes a vow now I want you to focus on first part of The Vow what's the first thing that he tells him not where to go not who to marry what's the first thing he says like a good Jewish parent who not to marry right this is not who you marry and who local now why can't he marry somebody who's local the the commentaries talk about one of two things and some even say both it could be that he is first all they cursed is cursed Canan is cursed and don't he doesn't want aam's people are blessed don't marry somebody's cursed of course the really good question is hold it what happens to somebody like elezar who may come from theam family who then changes his belief is he now cursed or is he now blessed incidentally there is a medish which is found in the perar that says that all of Abraham's followers NE including elzar's their next Generation revert back to whatever it is they believed in before it was not sustained it didn't go on for hundreds of years that all of those followers of again you can now say anything else you want to say you can say anyway that you want if you want I'll show you I mean the perer is in our sources anything else you can say any you want that that aam was charismatic and whatever you want you can say I'm just telling you bottom line is that it wasn't sustained and therefore now I can ask the question is Eleazar he comes and he follows a and he believes and ARS God and so on but what does that tell you about his daughter doesn't tell you anything about his daughter and going back a step the people in Canan are cursed because that's what it says all the way back by par Noah on the other hand the children of Shame are blessed so aam makes sense he's going to say I don't want Mar somebody who's cured go Mar somebody who's blessed let's increase the odds so of this all working out and being blessed so that's one way the other way looking about it is in terms of the other thing that occupy our minds and what's that real estate and inheritance that Abraham doesn't want to run the chance of marrying somebody local who then along the line that it could be that they will end up inheriting back this land or have rights to ER Israel and he wants to keep it in the shame family as I said there are commentaries who go in either and some even go in both of those directions and give it something very practical I know that in a lot of our minds the whole thing is is a Corban and he can't leave Isel that it doesn't even give us a hint of that in the Kish itself but let's the first thing I want to keep that in mind first thing that aam says is don't marry somebody local okay second so let's continue to what the instructions are don't marry somebody local rather he says and again and by the way after the negotiations that just now took place you knowon he wants a place to bury his wife and that turned into this major negotiations so maybe it also added to this uh I from being convinced that this is not these are not the right people now what's missing you I hope you all realize something's missing because that should all remind us of a verse that we know back in Source 10 so you have the land your land your birthplace and your father's house now what is it that Abraham said what's missing which means did I'm going to try to read this carefully did abam ever tell him to go to my family remember what Rashi told us before he's shocked maybe it's you know I want to see if I'll be successful you know one thing which is missing is that it's the right family did aam ever say anything about the right family I'm going to say it again it could be to marry somebody generically connected to shame and even that aam never said that he said go back there to where I'm from okay so where you're from should be other people from Shem but did aam ever say but it has to be somebody from my family so let's hold there for a second there are going to be commentaries who are going to be convinced that abam just now said that it means his family now you realize it's difficult because here it says I'm going to do it again here it says and there it said so there is that third part which is actually the family so it's very hard to convince me that shot over here is the family nonetheless if you look at the tan he writes now if you actually look at the the there's little commentary underneath telling you what does mean so it's what the so they want to read into it as if said my family but that's not so easy no no not the ones that aren't my relatives AR to my relatives that's great Weir did it say that goes back to the real estate issue to The Inheritance I want anyone else again same kind of thing so wh why does he want his family where did it say his family and then he gives his whole interpretation so this is fascinating because you just now saw a bunch of commentaries that all read it in so now you realize Rashi reads it in as well even though he doesn't tell it to you in the beginning but later on when it says oh he's in shocked is this going to come true so we're a little a little bit confused and I want to go back again and read a little bit more what aam's instructions are so so far what is the concern not a local girl right secondly I want you to go to this place which now we don't know where they got where where the evid believes he has to go to's familyid and the evid says says out maybe she's not going to want to come should I bring your son back there and that he answers the negative absolutely do not bring my my son there now by the way notice the word sham which keeps coming up here the end of look at the next sh we're gonna have another one still soon at least another the next p is end up sham and the one after will end up shama so you realize now that sham wherever it is so if any of you want I'll already tell you a secret the title of today share is where is there that's that's the title because you now you realize that sham M's coming up so that's the question where is there now let's go back a second aam's first they used to have concerns we have interesting give and take and dialogue what was aam's concern not to marry local girl that that was concern number one what was the evid concern the evid concern is not that I won't find the right girl why not CU he's got 10 camels worth of gold with him he's got a traveling jewelry store okay so men with jewelry stores look more attractive I don't know what it is but it seems to uh it seems to work so he's going to go over there he's going to find this girl he's going to have all of this wealth but even though that men with jewelie are attractive but not necessarily when they contract someone else to go find the Girl by the way that itself can convince you that the guy's not all that good-looking or that bright or something else what someone else has to come with a big gift to go and find the girl and he's not even say excuse me marriage is a possibility marriage is on the table a couple conditions here what's the first condition I'd like to meet him right if any of you think that's crazy it's even a gamarra that you should meet somebody before you marry them you know what P gamar quotes that's what it quotes that you should love someone because you know other it may be a recipe for disaster so so the evid is saying she may not want to come so I'm going to go there I'll find the girl I'll locate the girl but to close the deal you know before we can have the vort I mean that's what he's saying before we can have theim I may have to bring him back over there in order to and the says no so now if I were to read and we just now read it when it says that he gives the test she gives water to him water to the camels and now he says well I W you know I'm shocked I wonder if I if I succeeded why did I work so hard before and to say well maybe he's being cynical maybe he wants to fail what's his concerned he doesn't even ask what her name is all that's not important what what is he concerned with maybe she's not going to come which means there's one still bottom line she's got her here she could decide who she wants to marry which means why would I concern why would I think that her concern is any anything other sorry why would I think that his concern is anything other than what he's already told us is his concern I'll actually use one more word nowat that's Pat right Pat doesn't seem to be that it has to be from this family by the way until I get to the next pad at this point doesn't seem to be that it has to be from the right family shot seems to be is who knows if she's going to want to come and therefore at that point he gives the jewelry right and but then he goes to this other point to oh yeah hold it by the way who are you and yes when he repeats it later on he switches it around now where did all of this come from did aam ever say it so it pretty much seems that that abam never said it so that's why I want to go back and read this now one more time so he then says no tells them where to go by the way notice all of our shamas now I want to do this again now which also is interesting because it kind of turns back the clock on the which I very deliberately read before God tells a to go from this place travel from this place and come over here and now if he's going to go back does it reverse it which may be the real concern about going good which means what's really more important here you don't want to marry a local girl and here you have a girl that he can marry so maybe she'll agree to marry him but could he go back there what's really the issue here and which means he's really questioning the issue can he go back and and a now is going to say absolutely not and there will again be loud Echoes of of do not bring my son back there now noticed agains and Nows a by the way now beavi was mentioned it was not mentioned in any other place here now The God Who has taken me out of my father's home and from the land that I was born and spoke to me Bly and swore to meore saying he is going to send his Mal which is great now we have dueling Messengers a is sending his sh and God is sending his sh what does the word mean now so I would argue that the word misham means the same thing that it meant in the last PK and the PK for go back to the area that I'm from do you realize now that it's possible that the EV understands it differently because he said and now it says did just now say again was this black and white did he just now say did he just now hint did he give the impression or alternatively did the evid just now understand that the place he's supposed to go to is actually the home of Abraham because a just now used the word shama and used the word Beav in one sentence so what I'm pointing out over here is there's a couple of possibilities one possibility is that's absolutely what abam said and even though we never heard him say you need to go back to my hometown he just now said it God took me out of my hometown and and and there therefore go and get a wife for my son from there so from there now becomes B AI on the other hand it could be that Abraham never said this but it's nonetheless what elezar or the evid understands so if that's what he understands that's very interesting but as we continue in the evid narrative going back and you know down the chapter and looking at the back and forth you're going to come to this realization that he's completely convinced and that's part of the evidence look this is where I'm supposed to be this is where I was sent and I found the girl from the place that I'm sent and therefore the test has been passed and God has done this and all of this is God micromanaging which means he's going to utilize this as evidence that that he is Eleazar that God has helped him and God has sent him on this Mission so I'm saying it's it's really interesting as and I don't think that I don't think we can resolve this you can resolve this if you know the answer I see my father's looking something up if you can resolve this then excellent but it sounds and and by the way the there are those who will notice this and see this and make comments about this but it seems very much to be that this is what the evid understands as his mission whether aam said this I'm not sure I just want to go back now you know two steps to see where we got stop stuck and I think we can resolve it all and and I'm repeating myself at this point one is that he wants to know did he succeed not because he wants to fail not because something's gone wrong there's still another question will she agree to come and that was his concern for from the beginning that would seem to be his concern now as well second point is that he has to that that this seems to be the right person but now he's gone to the lands generally so now he wants to know and to fulfill what he may have understood abam as adding on as well that you need to bring somebody from shama God took me out of my father's house now you need to bring somebody from there so now he goes to now he has to now question that part as well is she in fact from aam's house so now whether aam said that or not I can't tell you as I said I can read it two ways the again Rashi read that into it why does Rashi read this into it because Rashi is saying that's what the evid is doing that's what he's looking for that's what he's asking on the other hand it really is interesting when he switches the sequence it sounds to be the first time through he gives her the the ring he gives her the jewelry and he's convinced that it's right maybe he understood this as being something preferable and once it was fulfill filled meaning once she was something more than from the Sham family and she's from the a family so now he sees the hand of God and even stronger and now it becomes part of his evidence so it could be someplace in the middle may maybe abam said it maybe he didn't let's say AB didn't say it the Evan may have heard it maybe he heard it maybe he wondered about it maybe he's reworking this conversation in his head and saying hold it what did that word shama mean when aam said this did aam mean the house or did a mean the family did AR mean just the neighborhood did I mean the country what did he mean by this and then he gives the ring because he thought he successful and now he goes back to that dangling sh and says hold a second what family are you from and she says the right family okay that's it that that that's that this is absolutely right now I know it's the right thing so as I said the it's really interesting to go back and to and to compare the instructions that were given and what the evid actually did what he understood and how he behaved and how he retells the story afterwards but uh he's convinced that he got the right girl and by the way I'll tell you a secret he got the right girl Rifka was the sh this was the right girl and it was the right husband and uh and all that works out okay and uh and and you know when he meets her it actually says something that it never said before in the Torah it says that he meets her and he loves her so that that that's the first time that we find a husband loving his wife it says that uh that he loved her so apparently it was absolutely the right thing by the way sometimes people love and they forget to show it so we should uh show the people we love that we love them to make sure that they know it as well so again I'm sorry I was a little late and I didn't start with the for the so may God show the love that he has for cl Israel not just that we know that God loves us God should show that love as well and take care of all the people living in AR Israel and take care of all theim and all of them should be healthy and come back to their families completely healthy in every single way amen thank you so ABA what do you find what do you have there in the H how I understand where it was it wasn't where he said it it was in a different context and the question was what was he referring to so I saw what you said it's absolutely correct oh there you go I agree yeah it's it's it's it's a dangling shama and now you realize why it's the whole conf but but I think it's fascinating that he may have woken up to that when he's there hold it a sec what did he mean when he said that and uh and you're on a mission you want to do it right you don't want to bring the wrong girl home to Y I mean that could be that could be quite problematic especially if you get rid of all the jewelry especially the jewelry okay so as you as somebody married to a Rifka this should resonate okay okay very good have a good [Music] chabis have