Mourner's Kaddish by Rabbi Anthony Manning

good morning thank you very much for coming it's good to see everybody um I think uh Rabbi Adler already announced that from L I believe I don't know exactly the date I think it's probably beginning of L the things will be reconfigured at the OU uh both uh in terms of the geography and dates as well there's a lot of work going to be going on on the road here beat with the with the new rail uh coming in soon so I will be moving to Wednesday um to keeping at 10:15 on Wednesday but I will be probably at B Kess an um I know it's not the most uh the easiest place to park Etc but uh um that is the current uh plan there will be as far as I'm aware no shum between Tish and L because there's going to be a lot of moving around but I will confirm that for sure next week but that is my understanding that they're taking a few weeks out of programming to do a lot of the you know moving things around and uh transferring okay we are in a series a bigger series about minhagim and a miniseries about kades we already had part one this is part two and next week please God there will be a part three uh let me just start by first of all asking you to turn off your phones please so please do that now and also thanking our sponsors for 2024 that all the sherim for this Academic Year are sponsored bras branded and zelig benman Al Shalom so please turn your turn turn off your phones and I'll make a recap last week in part one we started talking about kades in its broadest sense we looked at its roots in terms of the wording of Kadesh in tanak inesc in Daniel in toim um we debated the origins of the prayer remember the or said he thought it went back to the early second temple when they were putting together all the other whereas we saw the or thought that it didn't date from then it dated a little bit later the cish that we have it dated from the beginning of the period uh or around the end of the period of the mishna just before that Reb we saw Reb had a big input into formulating kades ideas of Kadesh he was in the gar there in bras we talked last time about theal consistently stress the importance of we talked we looked at many many sources and we saw there were basically two ways of understanding The Words the phrase where do you put the comma do you say comma that's one may God's name Shem and a the short name be made RAB be made great and we talked about amalik that amalik is the one that's keeping the name of God from being properly fulfilled but eventually it'll be not just and a but and to's name that's one way of looking at it it's and we saw to didn't like that and to said no we think it's the comm's after the word may his great name be blessed comma we looked at that last week um and then we started to look at the if you like the mainstreaming of kades from a that was said after AA that's where it came from it was on a people who' said a if the r had said a and there were a lot of people gathered to learn a we talked a bit about that there were always more people interested in learning than they were in learning and therefore you had a big crowd there time to do a it's a they would say therefore and everyone would answer after the learning it was a Dr based and we saw already the beginnings of you see a lot of our minhag we've had s a few times from around the 7th Century starts to mainstream kadish into the mainstream daving we using now Kadesh as a as a way of breaking up the daving into different segments uh and maybe let's start with that that today let's start with MIM it's not a source we saw last week it's a new one look at source number one says MIM again slightly later than the rest of the already we saw the mishna did not mention the need for a Minion for Kadesh because the mishna was not dealing with mainstream Kadesh but later says yes you need a minion and there's a universal in Israel and in Babylonia shom after you said Shalom meaning the end of your you say aades there has to be aades after that's what says and of course we know what that is today for and for that's what we call please accept our prayers and in the morning we do aades straight after after and then we do a little bit later okay fine and G why are we doing all these different kishes and we're doing extra kishes because people come late people come early therefore we'll have more kishes we'll have a kades after reading the sa of Torah as well why because people maybe came late they missed they leave early they'll miss the late cadish or they came late they missed an earlier Cades etc etc so we're going to put quite a few kishes into the daily prayers how many what is our go-to number and this is a very interesting Source in number two I Want To Praise You seven times a day says toim says what does this mean there are seven every day and actually we see that there is something of a concern about doing too many kadish too much more is not more in this case more is less because this is meant to be a special occasion it's and if we do it again and again and again and again and again it just becomes like another shlep out kades seven a day now what are the seven a day so there's a little bit of a debate about that do you count the Kadesh after ALU or not because that's what we now say is M as Kadesh we'll see that M we haven't even mentioned M's kades yet the seven kishes a day according to ashkenazim at least are as follows kadish after in the morning for Shak kades after okay kades after the main Shak okay maybe the kesu okay maybe that's added in as well but the into that Kadesh because that became kades we'll see the interested in Kadesh then for you have two kades kades before kades after and then what are you going to do about so those that count the Kadesh afteru meaning they had four inak only have one for one kades is the one before the one after kishma cuz that's the Mitzvah you do at night that's the Mitzvah kishma what about the kades the end of Marv that's after sh and as we all know sh in Marv technically speaking is rash it wasn't one of the obligatory dings of the day there's a big debate in that so according to ashim really it's the for in shakas and two and one in Mar okay you could take out one of the ones in shakas and add in the one at the end of Marv but you'll see a big difference sometimes with ashaz andar him ashkanazi shaes are very particular there has to be a KES after ALU in the morning and even if there's a kind of silence and they're waiting for a for an ail to say kades and no one's saying kades someone will jump in and start saying kades cuz that's one of the Chev kades where is the if there's no KES after like I mean they don't say they say the the the okay they're not as M pit about that cat is yes oh we haven't got there yet we haven't got there yet we're going to get there right now because what we now add to those seven mandatory or mandatory I never know which way to say it kadim okay is seven probably seven kades it's interesting that number seven how many extra Kadesh now that we say more Kadesh a lot and we'll get to where it comes from we say seven a day what are the seven a day so we do theim again they do one after RAB is in the morning one before okay after theim then they do after alenu after sh and afteru at least in Israel okay then they do one after ALU and one after Al Hey preo we've got seven K and even if you're and you say well we don't do an an extra one before well you know what they do an extra one in Mar if they do a sh or an extra one in m so somehow or other we're always aiming for this seven it's not perfect and you get minhagim that do more and minhagim that do less but that's more or less the the structure yes you count the one after twice I counted the one after Len twice I was hoping no one was going to pick that up okay you're right I have can of cancer the one after I L know twice so maybe that works better if that's not one of the she what's the difference so the Chev kadan that are part kadish that are part of the daving they're actually Halas you're not meant to be uh reading at the same time you're meant to be listening the other kades is like I'm not sure that it's the same exact structure anyway let's let's move in let's jump in because there's a lot more that we have to do there are now five different kinds of kades and I'm not getting into all of them half Kadesh and full kadish and kadish on M's kades the special kadish at the burial or the scene we'll get onto that in a minute and I brought you the priman number three you can read that at your own uh in your own time he just basically says what I just said he goes through the seven kades and he goes through the different types of Kadesh and then he talks about Kadesh he said like kades is funny like why do we have this Kadesh which is missing some key parts of Kadesh and he said that's just like a now a divider to divide up the service yes sir that's a good question I'm not sure is midashim earlier or later than homework midashim is not an early midash it's a later midrash as far as I'm aware and also is a later so we'll have to do I'm sure there's an academic debate on this and I'm sure there's a range but we can do I'm not sure I mean maybe they're around the same time but we'll uh we'll have to do a bit of research on that the mionion Brewer jumps in and says don't forget about the original cadish let's lose cadish in all the weeds here the original main quotes unques real cadish is the one that you say at the end of a drash which is the one for the the public the P of the number four says the M bre and then we'll move into M kades after you learn some you have to say it's always on never forget that in if that's the case or Al I should say the is whenever you learn kind of more straight M after you say and after you say which is M we say on Friday night we say what I've call heard sometimes is the the patron saints of aim yeah yeah that because that's the the and on Friday night what do we do which by the way is not a description of what are but a requirement of what it takes to become a you can't just be a I heard this one from Rabbi Sak I remember you can't just be a because you learn a lot of Torah you have to be someone who if you're not if you don't bring peace to the world so then a clever person but you're not okay that's a different question but you have to say therefore when you say m make sure you say the ETC now don't forget you don't need to be an ail in order to say that Kadesh it's nothing to do with aim that kades is is on AAL that's the real Kadesh and therefore many people even if they're not avim um say uh say that kades it's got really nothing to do with Aus at all fine let's move into M cage because there's nothing more if you like um s symbolic of Jewish prayer to so many Jews out there as the kades Duron and even in I think in one of the Rocky movies Sylvester Stallone had to say kadish you know in one of those M like you have to get a cadish in somewhere in order to for Hollywood um I'm not such a big Rocky fan but it's but you can look it up and and see where that works what has kades got to do with mourners and the answer is well apparently nothing there's nothing about death in the Kadesh okay in the special K you say a funeral and there's a reference to but the regular kades has nothing about death so start with the Mish in mid this is a fascinating entree to this number five if you're going to go to Har you go in usually at the gates in the South you turn right everyone has to turn right there's a traffic flow in the B mdash you turn right D small and you come out through a different door on the left everyone basically has to walk counterclockwise and if you're English an clockwise okay everyone has to walk in that direction apart from someone who' had a special occasion and they go the other way they enter into the B mikdash and they turn left not right so they bump into everybody as they going around okay they'll say to him why why why did why are you going the wrong way around so they say sh a I'm I'm in a this is how aim announced their AAS they didn't just clap and say they walked the wrong way around the B mikdash so everybody would see them and they would respond it's beautiful they would give them they say I'm really sorry to hear that and everybody would see the a as they walked around also they had a whole special thing for them too people change this that's an interesting question I don't know so the so the people who never spoke to the m before will say who are you and they say I what's that that's why they change yeah yeah maybe maybe that's very nice like why did you change your seed oh I didn't know it's beautiful I've never heard that it could well it could well well be um and uh and therefore that that was in the bdash what do you do after the bdash has been destroyed you can't do this so then look now in number six after the B was destroyed these two special groups that want to announce to the the and the they would come specially to the so that people could do theah they could give you know to the the and they could give to the so what did they do to accompany them and to sing to them Etc and what did they do after the finished the so which day is this maybe they would go to the back to the door of the sh or to the corner of the sh and that's where the would be crav him and the ailim and their immediate family will be sitting in this place by the back of the door by the side of the and he would give them a special special Kadesh and then the Kazan would say kades why is the Kazan saying Kadesh not because the Kaz an n and it's not the a saying Kadesh it's the is saying you are sitting Kadesh we give you a br they probably ended with or something with a as part of that often don't forget a DHA ends with a kind of with an a with a nice idea and they would say Kadesh as part of the aad so the Kadesh was connected with the aim but it wasn't the aim saying the Kadesh which is very very interesting now here already there's always been first class and second class citizens in sh have a look at this the A and you don't make the special Kadesh which is the special kades you say now we say a c or we say a funeral or if the person who died was a big was a big was a wellknown person so they get a a bigger kades and if it was a regular person they get a regular kades but it's always thein that's saying the K now this is not a minhag today have you ever seen this I've never seen this now we have a Minag we bring in the aim after calat Shabbat now why didn't they record that because they'd never heard of Kabal Shabbat Kabal Shabbat was invented in the 15th 16th century by the Gad um who came to Israel and developed Kabal Shabbat so we kind of pushed our Nim into Kabal Shabbat I'm not I didn't research the history of how that happened but you see it's basically shifted from one to the other fine okay B Gore now what else does Kadesh have to do with death or funerals so we'll see number seven theim ask asked an interesting question here look at number seven sadin is where a person likeo has a funeral and they stop seven times in the funeral and they say something like they say aad and they say kades and and the mourner now the mourner say kadish um on these seven stops says this is a mitzvah for all the to take part in we quote the we take people out of theas in order to go to funerals in order to go to uh to weddings as well I actually think maybe people are doing this at the moment that that all the shivas in Israel right now should have a group of people who are specifically taken to go to the funerals of from every Yesa the soldiers from like three people from this Isa three from thisa and they should have like a rot that everybody goes to funeral because it's explicit if you want to say you don't want to be M tal Mur to serve in the Army for two years and we had a whole series of shim on that then to go to a funeral there's nothing to talk anyway that's just a just a thought and you need to make Kadesh at the funeral who who's making Kadesh mix a GU in there are some guy that said aadesh you shouldn't be saying kades these stops at the funeral you only Sayes when you've been doing azah the Mitzvah is the not the stopping along the way afterwards and other from this period of the period it's all part of the same Mitzvah you buried the person now you're giving them and then it asks a very interesting question if you have a question we should be saying this would be very strange no like under the suddenly the says will Sayes kades is there because it's a Mitzvah meaning at the funeral I'm saying Kadesh because not because you're an A but because we're doing a Mitzvah or because we're g giving a g and therefore we're doing a publish kesem so we could do that at a wedding why don't we do that at a wedding Shalom you can't do that at a wedding he says not because it's sad there's nothing sad about Kadesh people didn't come to the wedding to do a Mitzvah the and the came to the wedding to them to do a Mitzvah it's not the same kind of Mitzvah You could argue with this that everyone who's at the Mitzvah at the wedding is doing the Mitzvah okay it's a good question I don't exactly understand why it's less of a Mitzvah than a funeral there's nothing on which you can say aades because the kades is on the mitv the Kadesh is on the the Kadesh is not ST which is very very interesting so so far we haven't seen any suggestion that an ail themselves should say Kadesh either someone's saying Kadesh to to be because they're you know the the back of the sh and they saidash say Kadesh the first time we start to see Kadesh mention as as a Min for raim is in the early or the the high Middle Ages around the 11th century and we're going to we're going to see an amazing Source in the minute some of you'll be familiar with it um in a few moments but first we have to talk a little bit about geham okay now geham is a very complicated complicated topic um and there are lots of different ways that you can work out who goes where and when and how long etc etc and there's a whole Damar which I will bring you a little bit of from rashash Sha which do try to make like shom of all the different types of people and actually the art scroll commentary there has a pretty good summary and tries to work it all out but let's just look at the source here in number eight this is from a tosa in Sanhedrin and it's trying to work out which are the people that get the worst time in geham and which get a less terrible time so we're already past the best people here the best people don't even go to geham at all they go straight to ganaden other people go to geham and they just have a quick stop um and they get you know cleaned out and then they go off to Gan aen but these were already onto the people who are really having a hard time number eight certain Sinners of the Jewish people who sin with their body and this is not just any sin with the body the gamorra goes to talk about very severe sins that people do with their body maybe um sexual immorality of different kinds and people in the non-jewish world who also sin with their body it's not just a Jewish Affair G it's a you know a pluralistic environment they go down to 12 months in and after 12 months I'm afraid they don't go anywhere good their souls are destroyed the and their um their bodies are burnt up the and and The Spits them out and turns them into into ashes into and the wind blows their dust they're basically cut off and destroyed under the feet of theik and it brings a PK from Mal which it actually quotes in a different way than the original PK I brought you both there's always a debate when the gamorra quotes thek differently than the PK in tanak what are you going to say are you going to say well they had an alternative variant GE of the tanak some people might suggest that but often it's because the gar is it's not there to quote specific sources directly from the source and sometimes it paraphrases a little bit that's a whole she and of itself so that's one group hey AAL minim but Heretics minim was often a word for early Christians okay the Christians called themselves the maim we are the True Believers the early Christians and the Jews there and the rabbi said you're not the MIM you're the minim minim mean all sorts like a rag tag group of All Sorts coming together to cause trouble and in fact the church became very sensitive to this word Min uh because they realized it was usually not always is a reference to early Christians and in the gar when they sensor the gar they changed it to which is short for as if to say you're not talking about us you're talking about pagans and of course sometimes they did intelligent uh you know find and replace programs on the gamorra and sometimes they just got bored and said oh just replace all and I don't know about you but when I just click replace all I always regret it because it always changes things that I didn't want to change and now I have to undo all the mess and you see that also in the censors there are places we found Church sensor documents where we find the Aram minim on sukus has been crossed out the Min minim has been crossed out and replaced with the akum which of course is is just uh the the the effect to replace all okay those who leave Judaism and convert willingly let's say to Christianity the hos and those who hand over the money and the lives of Jews to the non-jewish authorities the aicar all these have definitions specific types of Heretics for shfo those people who deny the the Au authenticity of divine the divine origins of Torah again all very complicated to be defined not now people who depart from the community meaning they want to keep Mitzvah but they don't want to be part of the Jewish people I go off on my own I live in Utah and I'll I'll just do my own thing it's I mean I'm not saying it's a to live in Utah I'm just saying that there are certain people who just depart from the community people who people who sinned and made these terrible people and now a type which is an interesting typ somebody who people who have placed their who have who have um oppressed or scared the people in the ER this is from PK this I think Inu who are those people we'll see in a minute and those who put their hand out on the what's the the is a word for The Bash therefore those who contributed to to destroying the bikash if you wanted to link with the times right now in the calendar those all these terrible terrible Sinners and people who contribute to the destruction of the now you see what a terrible problem is okay locks them in they're never going to get outus they're forever and ever and ever and ever um judged in geham they don't even get turned into ashes and spat out they are constantly judged it brings along posa for this and then it says at the end will end and they won't yet even be ended meaning ganam will expire before they expire their judgment is forever okay now let's let's see what we're going to do with this go to number nine the gamorra when the gamorra brings this it adds a few details and these are going to be important for the story we're going to see in a minute number nine and the faces of these people it's not entirely clear which group is it the first bad group or the second really bad group but their faces are black like the bottom of a pot before they had stainless steel pots so you put a pot on the fire for long enough it'll go black and you can't get the black off we'll see what that means in a minute and then the what are these people who put make put fear into the this is a tax collector that frens the People Too Much sh sh in a way that they don't need to they lorded over the community they they abused the community a Jewish tax collector who is collecting taxes but they are full of their own importance any tax collector who who creates this fear in the community when they there's no need for them to do they're not doing they'll never have a son who's now remember all these little details they're all going to be very very important okay just what's that is oh well well this not a sin doesn't exist the sun doesn't exist will will because he doesn't have a t Ben who's a it's not that he you're saying that the Ben is stopped from being a okay so we'll get that good good question we'll see we'll see if there's any way to kind of get around this just St pour all these details in your mind for now because we're going to come back to them soon look at number 10 another gar and then we'll move into theot literature really interesting stuff number 10 says the gamar now how are you going to translate these words ma the son can give a merit to the father or the child can give a merit to the parent and next week when we talk about women saying kades this is going to be important because the word Ben in Hebrew is used both in the masculine and in the ne we don't have a NE form Ben means a son and Ben means a child the Ben Isel normally speaking do not mean the men in the in the Jewish people it means all the people in the Jewish people so we're going to have to look at that next week and see whether these sources are talking about Sons specifically or parents because it's not talking about fathers we'll see ABA here doesn't just mean ABA ABA also means IMA you say canish will see soon for both parents the same but the father can't do it in the same way for the son and ASA the father can't achieve the same for the child as the child can for the parent okay the Father the parent can DAV for the child but it's not exactly the same there's a special of the child that the child can do something for the parent as well and we'll see how that how that uh kicks in in a few minutes now what was the heot literature the heot literature was uh a genre of literature from let's say the third fourth Century through to the 8th 9th century which was very mystical in its uh approach it talks a lot about different rabbis going up through different levels of Heaven the idea of seven Heavens seventh heaven of going up all through like lock doors opening and then a new Courtyard and doors opening and then a new Courtyard it's really F fascinating literature and it's early mystical literature prec cabalistic literature it very much influence the ash the as like the worms were very influenced by this early mystical literature it's a little after the gamarra it's a little before the rishonim the sarin were not affected by it the early Farin the rambam's got nothing to do with it it doesn't affect him at all he ignores it almost entirely but we'll see it's important for us and for khish no number 11 let's keep an eye on the time I don't want to lose track of time all these sources are so interesting number 11 I'm this is based on a gor of the idea of who is going to make KES in sh who going to be the one who benches in sh soav will say in front of he's the he's the the he's the singer and all the will answer they all answer Kadesh from G so they're all they doing in G and the Sinners the Sinners will hear this and they'll they'll fetch out an from and the God then turns to the and says who are these people answering a from what's this that I hear and they'll say to him the Angels these are the terrible Sinners even they're in terrible terrible pain they pull it all together in and they manag to say so then open up and let them come up let them in let them in this POS in yes that the the the those who guard the faith shall be the RAB has got the the the the PO Isel the Sinners out of ganam back into into Ganan but who's the sikim in Ganan not anyone saying Kadesh here on Earth it's the people saying Kadesh it's the it's the sikim saying kades in shamayim that are getting the people back out of geham interestingly and finally before we get into our main main source for today look at number 12 another late midrash this is about a woman who committed all sorts of terrible AAR in case you thought that the gamar was or only focus on men and don't talk enough about women here we'll see this this is an equal opportunities gim um and therefore you have here a woman and there's someone one of the one of the the sikim are able to to see if they can save her Amal said that there's a whole preamble to this as to how she got there and and she was tricked there by the it's fascinating I missed out about like 20 lines of this then the says to her what is your sin called that you have such a terrible says to him because of the many terrible sins that I did I committed adultery I broke shabas I I slept with my husband when I was a n and I pretended I've been to the Mikvah and as bad as all of these I didn't have on on the poor and I didn't have ra on the I mean that's an interesting one to put in this list that when they wanted to include what are the worst things a person can ever do they commit adultery they break shabas on purpose and they're not kind when it comes to their anim it's a big mus actually this this Source okay and that's just the beginning of the list I did a lot more than this he says to her is is is there is there any way to get you out can we get you out of here so says to him I don't have any children I never had any kids this is the first hint that children will be your ticket out of G if I only had just one son or one child again let's put that on a question for now through my husband who could say in public obviously has to be a boy the kades I would have been 12 months and I would have got out a kid could have got me out of here so what happens here is actually very interesting what did that man do who was with her he was so upset by this he DAV he DAV he cried and he cried with a broken heart and he did personal CH G until until his s he he killed himself he died over it said that this that this man is allowed to get into in other words it doesn't exactly say what happened to her doesn't conf confirm that she got out or she didn't get out but he basically devoted his entire life to try and get out this very serious sinner from geham which is also a very very important point which is doesn't matter how bad you think somebody is and we'll see a very extreme form of this doesn't matter how bad you think the person was in this world everybody deserves a chance to be slept out of geham and this this Rabbi he gave his life to get this woman out of Gehan and whether it succeeded or not is a great question but that all leads us up to the main source in the ma so I brought this in English English the end she got her out but now I'm reading it I'm not sure she got her out he he went to ganen okay so I'm I need to think about it further okay let's look at this main source this is the source that many of you will know and this does not appear in the gorah this appears in the maav VRI of which there are different versions of the maav VRI it's based on an earlier version which appears in kalar rasi s eluta and other places but the earlier version doesn't refer to Kadesh the earlier versions refer to other things this suddenly refers to Kadesh and it flips to rabi AA we'll see so this again 12th century France maitri it once happened that Raba was passing through a cemetery and He Came Upon a man who was naked as black as coal remember we talked about the idea of the person being black in the geham they turned black and carrying a great burden of thorns on his head this man is a is being punished and he has thorns around his head on his head you may be even thinking uh like have I heard about this man before we'll see Rea thought that the man who was running like a horse was alive Rea commanded and stopped him and said to him why does that man do this difficult work all the way through this Source this man who's being punished in G is refer to as Raba calls him is and he calls himself is interesting why is that man um having to do this difficult work if you're a servant and your master treats you this way I'll redeem you from his hands if you're poor people are treating you unfairly I will enrich you the man said to him please do not delay me lest those appointed over me become angry riika said to him what is this and what are your Deeds the man said to him that man I me is dead and every day I am sent to chop trees I'm a wood Chopper now who else was identified a few people but specifically in kazal who were was a wood Chopper Raba was a wood Chopper Rab in Rab is referred to as a wood Chopper in fact he chopped so much wood that his neighbors got upset cuz he burnt all the smoke and they said the smoke is polluting the yard and you have to chop all this wood he is a wood Chopper but he sees a man who's a wood Chopper Reika said to him my son what was your profession in the world from which you came and the man said to him I was a tax collector and I would favor the rich and kill the poor bad tax collectors and not only that and this is not in maich but in an earli version but once I raped a young engaged woman you I'm Kipper but the maxit is not focusing on that terrible it's focusing on the tax collection Reika said to him haven't you heard anything from those appointed to punish you about how you might be relieved the man said please do not delay me lest those in charge of my punishments become angry for there is no relief for that man I him but I did hear from those appointed over me one impossible thing if only this poor man had a son like the woman we saw before who didn't have a child who would stand in front of the congregation and say and have them answer are they putting those things together or their Alternatives baru or Kadesh okay he would be immediately released from his punishments but that man never had a son he's saying I never had a son he left his wife pregnant and I do not know if she had a boy now that sounds like you have to be a boy to do this and even if she did have a boy who would teach him Torah that man I me does not have a friend in the world immediately rabika decided to go and see if he had a son in order to teach him Torah and stand in front of the congregation he said to the man what is your name and the man said to him AKA now that's a bit creepy meaning he's seeing this man who's a wood Chopper who is in ganam and he's called AKA and your wife's name the man said to him shba and the name of your city lisia immediately rabika was extremely sadden he went to ask after the man when he arrived in the city which by the way this city may be in Syria so it's he had to go potentially along way in this midrash when he arrived at the city he asked after him and the town people said May the bones of that man be round up which is what we say about hadrien that's an expression about hadrien Rika asked the man the man's wife asked after the man's wife they said to him May her memory be erised from the world he asked after the son and they said to him he is uncircumcised we didn't even engage in the Commandment of circumcision for him immediately Reika circumcised him I should he asked his permission first and he put a book in front of him but he wouldn't accept her study he's not interested until Rea fasted for 40 days and then a voice came out from shamim a Heavenly voice said to him for this you're fasting meaning why are you bothered go and be re AA back in Israel teach the Jewish people Torah you're fasting for 40 days to get this guy out of geham who was the worst of the worst Rea said master of the universe is it not for you that I'm preparing him like why wouldn't I worry about the worst people in the world immediately the Holy One opened up the child's heart Reika taught him Torah and thear and Grace after meals interesting um he then stood the child in front of the congregation the child said and the congregation answered after him the and in that hour they freed the man from his punishment immediately the man came to reik in a dream and said may be the will of the Holy One Blessed Be he that you rest in the Garden of Eden for you have saved me from the Judgment of gehenna Rik explained God your name endures forever your Renown God through all generations that therefore this is the first reference clearly we have to this it is customary to appoint a person who does not have a father or mother to lead the services the conclusion of Shabbat in order to say bar or Kadesh that is the first reference to Kadesh in Mak it's once a week on M shabas and you do have today aim who are very particular toad to take the on shabas once and and I know they do this the at the end of shabas this person has to say um bar or Kadesh now what's going on with this Source why is this Source coming out now so some of the academics turn around and say well maybe it's because of the Crusades that all these people are now suffering the the martydom of the people around them and they they need to try and feel something that they can do to help the nas of those people so I brought you a reference to an article by a very interesting fellow Professor David shivitz he was in the gush he learns in the gush I don't know him personally but he writes an article on this it says that doesn't make any sense those people who died Al KES Hashem in the Crusades were considered by the people the other people as having reached the highest possible level of sham these were not the people who were stuck in geham having to be slept out having done the worst things so it doesn't make any sense that it's them he wants to suggest obviously there's a reference in here to Christianity the this man who's who's uh suffering terribly in gam and don't forget there are all sorts of parts of the gar that were censored out um about Jesus the gorah does talk about Jesus and the punishment of Jesus in Gehan etc etc and and he wants to suggest it to reference to to him the thorns and the O which actually itself is would be remarkable because it's saying that even even the worst of the worst there's a way of getting them out of geham I don't know whether you know I agree with that or whether that's correct or not but there's a lot of interesting things going on here it could also be reaba is seeing I heard share from Joe Wolfson Rabbi Joe wolson that he's seeing a reflection of himself meaning don't forget reaba was B Chua he says about himself when I was a young man when I saw I wanted to bite them I hated you know from people so much and not just bite them like a dog which leaves a tooth mark But like them bite them like a donkey that breaks your whole arm I I hated from people so much I said maybe Raba is looking at what he could have been this is the alter ego of the Raba that could have turned out if he hadn't have done the Chua because of his wife etc etc etc but this is the first source and therefore we see other sources look at number 14 from the same school as from this is talking about [Applause] the actually this if it's also they say which many people still say and a kid a young child Kadesh has says Kadesh and everyone who goes home signed off interesting a child a cotton says Kadesh why sayses number 15 again a child says that's this is to help the child that this is not one of the kishes this is an extra kadish and the first real kind of codification of this in the is in the oara look at number 16 the oara says minu our Minit in the land of Canaan where is the land of Canaan Bohemia Bohemia Bohemia and Austria why because they gave names to all of the European countries which were based on the biblical areas I've got I hate to break it to you but ashkenaz is not in Germany and sarad is not in Spain ashkenaz and sarad are in the Middle East they're all from tanak Canan is in the Middle East and it's the name for Bohemia they gave all I'm not sure exactly why I'm sure you could write a scholarly paper people probably have but ER Canan in in Hungary in Austria Hungary he says and also in the rhin land they say this after they say in the morning whatever a m stands upes and says kades in France they're not so on that they even say an extra Cades for someone who is not necessarily an a is better because the whole thing is based on thisa if not for Thea then we wouldn't have this m kadish it's da for a child who can't D from the who can't say who can't say the other it's for a child who has lost a parent now this is an ashkanazi reality look in the rambam no reference anywhere to Kadesh none it crept into Spain as the cabala and mysticism crept into Spain I brought you number 17 um just very briefly he says the idea in the Rak Rak Ben Asar who talks in the early 1300s he talks about the idea of kades if you look on the posk of uh of the so he says these are the dead that you can push up a level by giving gifts and dedications in their memory and and dedicating things it'll push them up in all the more so if the son gives a gift in honor of his father the son is spending the money of the father in a way which benefits the soul of the Father Here is a very early reference to Kadesh this we see in kades and you see this this basically moves into thei world as well I brought you quite a lot of chuat I'm not going to read every word I leave them for you to read most of them but I'll give you the bottom line of what they say the reverse which is in 14th century Spain in number 18 says that yes we have a Min for a y or Y rather for for a um an Avil to say kades for a year following the death of the parent there's no mention here of saying for less than a year for less than a year 11 months or 11 months and you stop and you start again there's you say for a year because uh you know you say that for everybody it's uh the same for every for ARL he talks about that that and he says you know something this is not the only way to do this you can give kids other things to do they can learn Torah they can go do M Torah as well there are other ways of getting the Nama out of geham but it's always focused on getting the out of geham the Mahar in ashas is already complaining that people are becoming cadish obsessed they become you know anxious when it comes to cadish in a way they don't for other things it didn't take long for carage to become a source ofus look at number 19 I'll read you a line from the beginning and a line from the Middle the mar Rak of Merlin the top he says what do we do with this moures visitors come to the Sha and they want to say Kadesh and the people in the Sha say you can't say Kadesh this is our sh you go back to your sh and say kades we say Kadesh here and this is for the kades of the people in this community cuz don't forget only one person said Kadesh we're going to get in a minute to multiple say people saying Kadesh can the people in the town stop the people who are visiting from out of town from staying kades you see the SCH is already breaking out into mcus what's that yes absolutely there are so look have a look in the underlined and and he says I mean the underlining part in the middle of 19 even grown people who don't need to say kades they can D from the they are more concerned about they're more upset about not saying Kadesh than the opportunity to say because this KES is an extra one people always want to do the extra one tell people well why don't you do what you have to do oh no I don't want to do what I have to do don't tell me what to do I want to do the bid I don't have to do so I don't have to do the bid that I do have to do he says like people all arguing about they think they're doing their parents you know in the the next world let's say geham for now um a favor by arguing and pushing all these people away he says it's just not right they're obsessed about Kadesh and and they should be doing other things um but the Minag became to actually say uh Kadesh for the mner and also there was all sorts of rules about who gets the Kadesh and I didn't bring you could there were pages and pages and pages in The acon does It Go by who's got the more intense kades this one's in Shiva this one's in schim this one's only in the year does It Go by who who can say a kades tomorrow this one has a y site so he should get priority today cuz he can't say kades tomorrow and you can say kades tomorrow does It Go by the people in the community is that and there are all sorts of rules now you know why we don't do this in most places anymore more we say look you something everybody say kades and we'll get to that in a minute just flip over to page six bottom line what does it say so I've got news for you the M which I didn't bring on the sheet I should have brought it yo for theim he mentions M kades once and he says that the mner says Kadesh at a funeral so he doesn't say anything about kades in schul but the Remar jumps in the number 21 says you say after even if there isn't a mner in the sh someone who is not an A but has lost a parent you have to say that it's one of our seven even someone who does have parents can say that canish it's better someone says it if his parents don't mind and everybody knows sometimes you have to ask your parents permission if your parents are still alive do you mind if I say kadish and to say no yeah a small please be ter well I can be terrible my whole life and don't worry so they didn't like this sounds like an easy way out I don't have to worry cuz my kid will say cish yeah um I Heard a story of somebody who was saying cish and cish and cish and cish and SCH and over over the year longer than a year and the the VIS a new person came to live in the community and they came to him and said like who are you saying cadish for he said I'm saying cadish for myself I don't have anyone that can say cadish for me when I die so I'm just same cage for myself in the hope that it'll help along the way okay I mean you know I don't I don't know if it will but the Mish by the way says inip a similar thing but not quite the same he says y in the y afternoon he says don't turn around on Yer afternoon and say you know what this is a hopeless task I'll die and I'll come back as someone else and I'll try better next time I'm just you know Gil gulim it's just the Gil gulim I'm giving up this time he says don't say that because it's not so posed it's not so straightforward to like die and come back and you may not come back in how you wanted to come back and it may not work out he says you know don't give up for now do CH and don't reang gulim it's actually very very interesting he brings that in you should just know however that by the time you get into the Aral kades is transformed kades doesn't become something just to take out people from geham Kadesh becomes a way to elevate the soul in Gan aen higher and higher through the different worlds of AIA and yir and bua and atud and it becomes an entire different thing it's no longer about your parents being in geham it's about even if my parents are great sikim then I want to even raise them higher and higher okay so that's by the time we hit the we have kades in more or less the way we we have it now and then also brings in youra that it'll raise the soul raise the soul from geham where does this idea come of everybody saying kades I just want to finish with this point and I brought you a lot of Chas we're not going to have time for everybody uh to for to read them all but I brought you a few ideas the there's no question that the original Minag was that one person said Kadesh Hashem when I cry out you plal will respond that's the source pades one person says it having said that Theus that that caused LED people already by the the 17 1800s say you know something everybody say Kish and the just says you know something two people can say kage together it's not a problem the brings late 1800s now is lots of people say Kadesh together and I brought you very two very interesting Chas from um RAV from the uh the the Chas van Haas um of RAV MOS sternb and I'll just summarize basically what they say and at the end I brought you a CH I mention at the End by ra R mentions a few things he says the ashkenazim like to say kades in a big group now but he says the sarim always said kadish in a group thein were always into praying together he says and actually he quotes the banan rakov etlinger who says and you know something it's kind of in their genes when sarim DAV together it's very funny observation they DAV together Basham and they all seem to do the same thing at the same time I go to a sh and I'm always amazed that some guy knows exactly when to start saying I'm always really nervous they're going to point at me or something and I'm not going to know what I'm doing and I'm I'm just going to say like asaz you know put my hands surrender even though I I look pretty sarty but somehow they all know exactly what they're doing and they say it all together so ringa says that's with SP him but ashkenazim you can read in the chuv he says when you get more than one person saying it they're all competing with each other this one has to finish faster this one has to say it louder and he says and it becomes it becomes a joke it becomes a it becomes a total disgrace everybody's saying there the fast guy and the slow guy and the loud guy and the quiet guy and therefore people ashm just don't quite have it have what it takes to say it together so the is was very unhappy about people saying Kadesh in a group he said you should really only have one person saying Kadesh um he said it's like having two both competing saying different things who you're listening to and you can't tra you can't really hear two voices at the same time people have to answer kades in fact inre one of them in Haim is the that they split into smaller minion brings this down so that you can have one person saying kadish in each minion because they they're not going to be able to say it all together but that each one wants to say it so yes so he brings the and he says but that's the problem because the says the bigger the group the bigger the K what are we trying to do here we're trying to do K we're not trying to get you your you to get your parents out of geham that was very nice it's very important but the real thing we're doing here is kesem so breaking up into small Min and R says I'm not sure exactly what it achieves but he he he brings it down rakov emden said I think it's a good idea for the ashkenazim to take it to work out what it takes to DAV them together and ra MOS stur says that when in his Shaw he brings everybody together to the beer and they all say it Mila mil word by word together and he gets rid of all of the the competition I I just want to mention at the very end I brought you you can read it in English a a cha of ra schlomo A R A says um he was asked to look at the question it's very interesting question and I'll just give you like a a oneline answer question I was commemorating the someone ask him a y site and leading the services of and when the time came to say m as kades I heard a guest start to say kades in a loud voice what should I have done attempt to say kadish even louder than the guest in the hope that my voice would be heard like this is my kades or should I have remained silent and allowed the guest to recite Kadesh by himself and R A you can read the answer says to him you certainly certainly should not be trying to compete with the guy saying kades you should either just keep quiet because you're the you've had another 10 kishes you know you don't need this kades they haven't had one or he says this is what you can you can say very quietly under your breath and if you want to say kades and not cause a Ruckus you can say khish Qui to yourself I mentioned last week R andak used to do this for people that he wasn't actually obligated to say Kadesh for and the amain goes on those keshes as well that's absolutely fine but he says don't compete whatever you do don't compete just keep quiet or say it under your breath Etc um and hopefully you know we'll find a way to be able to do this in a way which really is a kid hasem next week I realized I need to commit an entire share to women and Kadesh because it goes to the issue of uh of obligations in communal prayer it goes to all sorts of hashkafic issues so we're going to really get our teeth into that next week but as and then we'll have one sh before Tish looking at something more Tish oriented