Hidden Messages of Kol Nidrei, Yizkor and Neila - Rabbi Shmuel Goldin

we're going to set the stage for our talk by quoting a strange PUK in the Torah a PK that obviously speaks to us of the of the Y Kipper day shabat shabon I'm reading from the first page shab this shall be a Sabbath of sabbaths Shabbat Shabbat shabbaton for you you shall afflict your souls on the 9th in the evening May arev ad arev that's the that's the phrase that I want you to think about for a moment why is the Torah telling me that I'm going to experience Yom Kipper from night time to night time or from evening to evening fact is that every Jewish day is from evening to evening so there a number of different commentaries who speak to the question but I'd like to suggest yet another answer and the best way to uh introduce it is through my father Al Shalom his favorite joke he wasn't much of a jokester he was a quiet man wonderful man but he had one joke that for some reason really stuck with him it's a story of of John a fellow in a small town who is very happy and living a wonderful life but has one dream and that one dream is he wants to be on stage he wants to have his moment in the Limelight and he sees there's no way that that's going to happen until all of a sudden a filming crew visits his town and they put out a a sign asking for underst studies and Runner ups and and sure enough he interviews and they choose him to be one of the people in a crowd and they even give him a line to say they even give him a a line to say and that line to say is hearken unto the Cannons all right so sure enough John is practicing for these weeks he's trying to figure out how to say it hearken unto the Cannons hearken unto the Cannons back and forth pacing back and forth he's he's this is his moment this is this is really the moment that he's been waiting for and sure enough time comes he's in a room and the play is playing out outside the door when all of a sudden they say to him okay it's your turn he gets pushed out the door big boom what the heck was that hearken unto the Cannons now the reason that that joke I think meant something to my father is because it speaks of a very very specific truth and that is that throughout our lives cannons or maybe better similar we would be trumpets sound at various times in our lives often in unexpected moments some of them we have the S to hear some of them we ignore but missing those tannin missing those trumpets missing that opportunity is something that we should try not to do especially when it comes to Yom Kipper Yom Kipper is a day where the trumpets sound throughout the day they don't stop each moment of the day has its own particular flavor its own particular message each section of the each time differs one from the other and it's our job to try to catch to capture and place ourselves in the moment in that moment of Yumer and therefore may there's a totality here there's a wholeness a day that emerges from wonderful specific moments a day that emerges as a powerful day meant to teach us tremendous lessons so we're going to take a look at three moments when the trumpet sound on on y Kipper uh each moment is characterized by a Fila we're going to take a look at K nidre yizar and Ila we begin with Cole nidre Cole nidre is you see it on the page in front of you on the first page called Etc the words are familiar to us the tune is familiar to us but there's a real question why do we recite this at all why does Cole nidre not only recited would a question would exist if it was recited any time during the year but it's we're saying it at the beginning of the most significant day of the year why K nidre is not a prayer it's not Aila if you take a look at it it basically is a legal formula or we're trying to create a legal formula and that formula is that we want to do away with all vows and we'll talk about whether it's past or future in just a moment we want to do away with all vows that we might have taken or might maybe will take in the days to come and that's that's really the totality of this paragraph but from the moment kidre began to be part of our liturgy debate has swirled around this paragraph in powerful ways let's see what we know Turn the Page please the origin of kidre is unknown we don't know where it or when it comes from what we do know however is that K nidre was already ins sconed in our liturgy by the Gonic era the era immediately following the close of the tud and one of the reasons that we know that it existed in the Gonic area era is because the gon him criticized it and tried to do away with it numerous statements were made by the go I put three of them for you r this what this is not something that we should be doing certainly not as the opening of of the holiest day of the year ROMs can't be there's no is there's no power given to you to do away with vows that you've made you have to deal with them they exist you can't just say poof they're gone and one of the most famous of theim sh who called This is a A Min this is a foolish foolish foolish custom and it is forbidden to say it so what accounts for the staying power of this paragraph what is it that somehow has captured our attention or captured our imagination so much that we disagree with all of these Gonic criticisms and we've kept kept and there and the many many more throughout the years many more throughout the years and we've kept this this paragraph right where we right where it is opening Yom kipur there are some theories that say that it acquired a powerful meaning and I'm sure most of of us have heard of this powerful meaning during periods of of turbulence for the Jew that often when Jews were made to swear allegiance to another tradition by by force kidre was perceived by some to be their their their their their prayer K we we were forced to do this we it don't mean it we don't but therefore it had acquires an overlay some say the Morano in Spain some others say other places that that perhaps explains a little bit as to why it continues to exist but at the same time it's been destructive it's been fed for anti-Semitism you can imagine imagine the anti-semites who look at this they're starting the holiest day of the year and what are they doing they're trying to abate their bows you can't trust the Jews you can't trust them their words speak for themselves the original form of kidre is was dealing with past vows the rashbam and by the way here I have a mistake on the I did this on purpose I could do Chua I don't know how I did it rashi's he is rashi's grandson not his son-in-law and Raben nutam is his younger brother but the rashbam changes the paragraph from the past to the future he says legally that's more more acceptable and we should be pring about what we're we're going to do and therefore if you look in the text now that we have on that first page you'll see that it says from this Yom Kipper to the next y Kipper that comes Etc and some sidur have both this y Kipper to the next yipper from last Yer to this yipper covering everything but even though the rashbam changed the thrust of the of the of the request he didn't change all the verbs so if you look at the at the paragraph as it is on your page it really is contradictory on the one hand it says we talking about future vows but then it starts saying what when we made them if we made them how we made them so really what's happening there is too many cooks spoil the broth so rash bam puts in his his addition but doesn't edit the rest of the text and and it say so again what accounts for the saying power why is Cadre why does it grab us so so deeply that we've insisted on retaining it as the as the as the p I won't say the as the paragraph which opens Yer so I think that we might understand if we consider a very strange medish medish doesn't deal so much with the OM Kipper as with briat creation of the world it's on the second page third page sorry when he created the world actually had a couple of Duds he created one world destroyed it created another world destroyed it until finally he created the world that we have it he said this one this one satisfies me now that's a very strange medish but I've always felt that what the medish is saying is that God builds into the process of creation the phenomenon of recreation the fact that we can do differently the fact that we can speak differently the fact that we can act differently we don't have to be held to those to those shackles that have kept us from moving forward this past year and that's what I think col nidre means to us particularly in the area of the spoken word col nidre we start off the the unff and this again it's just my thought something to think about but I would hope that it will enrich your col nidre experience a bit as we begin this holiest of days we turn to ourselves and we say we've created worlds with our words and some of those worlds aren't aren't aren't good some of the things we've said created realities that hurt people that that hurt even hurt yourself and therefore what we say Co nidre says we're going to focus on the spoken word and we're going to say that we we we want Hashem we want to correct those mistakes we want to correct those worlds that we created through lash and horor we want to create we want to destroy the worlds that we created through meaning unfeeling comments words that worlds that we created when we said something to some someone that that struck them and we didn't mean it but we shouldn't have said it and we knew we shouldn't have said it but we said it anyway and every one of us there isn't one of us I well if somebody somewhere here you'll let me know afterwards but I don't think there's any one of us that can't at least identify one or two or three or more times where we spoke and where what we said shouldn't have been said col NRE G gives us the opportunity to consider that and when the rashbam changes from the past to the future I think he's doing something else I think he's also telling us you can do chuva for what you did but you can't undo it it still has its effect and even though your truva may be heartfelt the fact is that the words were said the Act was done and therefore the rasham says you can't do for past you have to do for future but all of this speaks to us I think in a very very real way called nidre words words how we've used them the worlds we've created with them and our desire to correct them all right so that's kid Dre at least for for the moment the next is AA it's AA that I'm going to tell you my experience and when I've shared this with others they've told me that they experienced the same thing for years I was part of the Blessed group that did not have to stay in the show for col nitre right and all that time I had forar thank you thank you sorry forar good we are uh watching our words um so I was part of that blessed group that have to go in or stay in for yizar and some shows everyone stays in but in the show I was in we and we somehow Yar acquired this this this Majestic place in our mind it it must be a very meaningful it must be very powerful and difficult and but but we we thank God we don't have to say it until unfortunately my father passed away and I no longer was part of the Blessed group outside I was part of the group inside and I remember distinctly my first yker this is it that's it one that paragraph at the top of the page there Etc it that's the whole thing w wow and and as time went on I wasn't only bothered by by the lack of drama I was bothered by what it is that we were saying God please remember my father how what God God's going to forget my father I don't know what does it mean to ask to remember someone and why because I'm giving Saka no no no you should you should remember him because of who he was what what what's the what's the suell here what's the fact that I'm giving Su so important that we are using that in the isra prayer and for years it bothered me for years it bothered me it you know we added in the sh we added certain Psalms that we said before we added to K mle we dressed it up a little bit but this was the paragraph This is it but then I heard a beautiful interpretation of a strange statement in p kot take a look at the bottom of the page akav famous famous [Music] Mone know where you come from towards where you're going and he elaborates in the next sentence and before whom you are going going to give or experience a those two words din judgment keson is what a reckoning right what comes first shouldn't it be before whom you're going to have a reckoning God's going to reckon and and and decide on the basis of that record and the basis of other things so it's why does he say so one interpreter says as follows I've tried to find it again and I haven't found it but I know it's there when we stand before for all each of us we experience two procedures of judgment the first is the the din is what what I did in my lifetime who I was what I did how I acted what I didn't do what I failed to do that's the DIN and judgment is placed upon me and it ends and but then there is another another Reckoning and that Reckoning is the Reckoning that takes place after I'm here the Reckoning that's based on the people that I Tau touched the lives that maybe were enhanced with some some that I did people that I may have met and said hello to or what that's the Reckoning that's the Reckoning that re and that Reckoning that Reckoning continues on infinitum it doesn't end and it continues to reverberate across the generations and therefore D you experienc in but then you experience even more important Reckoning of what you leave behind take that back to husar what are we saying when we say it we're saying there's really only one reason we're here and that's because of the people that we are remembering and we'd ask you to remember and interestingly enough I I have a theory in terms of the word zahor when it comes to the IAL use particularly with Hashem it means he's about not just to remember but he's about to act on Remembrance every time you have a z an action or a thought or something that is attached to it but we're here because of them we're part of their Reckoning and that's what we want you to see and we want you to see that we're giving sedak because that's what they taught us and it's not just simply empty words it's a statement that we are here because of them and therefore once I heard that and once I learned that isar became better for me I understood it better and I and I was able to think about things that I could construe that that my father or mother gave to me and changed my life and continued to reverberate my mom was a teacher and all the students that she she taught just think of the people that you touch just think of the people that whose lives may be enriched by a simple word that you say and recognize that those reverberations are part of yourban it's all part of you finally we turn to nil Nila is a strange phenomena and we're going to see that according to R salvic is even a stranger phenomenon he was afraid of creating complication in a situation Sanam this what's the source of n where is it come from so there's a mission that says time four times of the year three times of the year where the kohanim duas kohanim three times four times shakaris Ela and those four time those times were public fast days the mamodos mamodos are gatherings in towns where the kohanim have gone to work in the basos and there's a gathering in the town to to mark that and to say some filot etc etc and the ELO was recited on that day and Yom Kipper and Yom Kipper is the only day that we have that we retain that Nila so Nila is unique in our experience even though originally it wasn't unique in that way it's Unique in our experience only to Yom kipur but tud goes on and actually says something very interesting Turn the Page Min L it's T shami from where do we derive this concept of Nila look the rabbis were very very honest and very open that had to be they has to be you can't just make up at Fila you can't just say I'm going to you have to have some sort of source that gives you the opportunity it gives you the the right to create this so it's actually the source for the rabbi say is a the second statement on the page says says when you open your hands you lift your hands and when you turn your eyes away from me I will turn away from you though you pray at length I will not listen so that's the negative if you pray at length I'm not going to listen say the rabbis what does that teach us that when you're deserving and you pray at length you're answered in other words Pro prolonging adding to Thea is something that is not only laudable but useful it'll will listen to your if you would elaborate so what that means is that the is the prolongation of prayer that's its source it source is that we are taking and by adding the ILO we're prolonging Thea experience but basically said the following if we say that Nea is the prolongation of Prayer then there has to be that prayer existent if you want to say Naila and just come to the sh for Nila says the r you're not allowed to say it you can't just come for Nila you have to have prayed prior to the Nila on the day of Yumer so that Nila can be part of that prolongation of prayer when he help he went a step further he said even if you only miss one of the say didak missed you you can't say now obviously this is a very very powerful um suggestion and there are those there are many who debate it but what the RV is saying and his words are very beautiful he says that Yom Kipper is transformed into a Yom to a day of prayer and as such and as such the purpose of n is that n is the request to a that all our previous prayers should be heard that's what Nila is Nila is not independent it's not on its own but it needs to have something to base itself self on and that is theot which I've experienced throughout the day now that this has very very important philosophical points within it and that is it is the counterbalance to another powerful teaching and that powerful teaching is that k famous famous statement in the townwood based upon an individual who one of the r went off the D and then came back and did something he was that one act the fact that he turned it around he he acquired his place in the new in the the world to come corello and this is a this is a a a concept that we use periodically when we're talking to people we're encouraging people we're saying you can do do that one one good thing do that one good thing and you'll be you'll acquire your world with that one act and this particular moment or this particular powerful event will will be the event that P pushes you over and the ram says that we should see the world as half Zak and half we should see ourselves as half Zak and kave and the one act that we do is going to push us over the edge get us to the right place but Nila says wait a minute that's beautiful that's nice that's really good and we believe it there can be times unusual times when specific people can be K but on the in the real world in terms of the ongoing daytoday experience of every one of us and not just that special person it's loyalty it's being there it's being there day in and day out week in and week out that earns us our place and that's what Nila is saying Neil is saying don't wake up at the end of the day all of a sudden say okay it's a powerful moment that counterintuitively is created by a belief in many Moments by a belief in the fact that we have to be there we have to be there for Hashem to be able to to say I accept what you're what you're saying on yum kipur you're not just here for yum kipur you're here day in and day out you went to the minion in the morning but you gave Saka you did there are two times in Paro there are two um formulas known as vuim first one is the more famous of the two it's V it's the formula that you recite when you bring the first fruits to the basa mikos then there's a second vdu second VD most people don't pay attention to but it's the more powerful of the two and that is a v that I say at a certain point in the masser cycle where I turn to AES and I Sayes I've been there I did this and I did that and I took care of this and I gave there and I did and you you outline a variety of things that you did within the master cycle and tell say I'm I'm there I was there and what's fascinating is that second V introduces it f where after saying I did this and I did that what I do is I turn to and I say look down from the lofty your lofty place your lofty holy place and bless the nation and the Rabb point out that the word hashkifa normally is used only in the negative when when Hashem is about to punish and what they say is that this V the second V this V has the ability to transform a whose anger to transform A's will to punish and to make it powerful force in the opposite direction and I've always felt that what they're saying is V is very nice once a year I come and I say it but I can't I can't go I can't say all I can do is say this is what I've done when I come to AES however and I say I've been there year in and year out I've done what I've had to do each time then then you can say then you can say so which we see as a powerful powerful moment is really a moment that's built on other moments and therefore when we're ding the ILO we should be saying to ourselves KES going to try to be there even more KES we try to be there we're going to be loyal we'll do what we need to do and we won't give up and that's that's what Nila should be Nila is the prayer that brings all the other prayers together and creates one uniform body and the ELA says it's ongoing participation ongoing participation that AAR baru is demanding from us not just the unique moments that's the essence of n I'm going to end with a another thought not rising out of nilo but speaking to the period after you know the rabbis they take away the drama when you finally get to those last those last lines right and it's powerful and the closing of the gates God let please please keep keep the gates open a little more and then close and that's the end of n except the rabis say not so fast you can continue this process that you feel re reaches a crescendo at IL through the next few days too and you can it will course all the way through sukot to TOA and so the door doesn't so don't Nea doesn't really Mark the closing of the door well that that takes away the Poetry that takes away the Majesty what is it that needs to be added that can be added only through the days following what is it that the rabbis assume will will be added by allowing chuva to go on and there are a variety of answers but R hutner that's all says something beautiful he said what sukus adds to the chuva process is the Sim of doing chuva the the it's two sides of the same same coin one is I am bittered bitter myself because I'm I'm doing chuva I've got to see the things I've done wrong I've got to recognize what I've done wrong but at the same time on the other side of the coin is the glory the happiness that comes with a reconciliation with a the Sim that comes from from Chua and too often we miss that the rabbi say so this year therefore we have to and I think that this last concept is particularly particularly powerful for us this year I'm sure that all of you have wondered and I keep wondering how we're going to celebrate Simas Tor this year how what are we going to do what can we do what what should we do what's what's right where does the line between showing proper respect and and and not mourning but because it's yff but at least a recognition of solemnness to the fact that that the it's the anniversary but at the same time it's sasta so that's the challenge I think that the post Nila period is going to present us with and we're each one of us is going to have to answer that for ourselves but the question the struggle should be asked we should absolutely suus for us this year should be a Yanti that is particularly meaningful for each of us individually but at the same time it should be a Yanti that brings us all together it should be a Yanti where we think about the the claw the totality and when we dance we should be thinking thinking about what does it mean to be part of the Jewish people what does it mean to be part of this nation that is picking itself up and and and and acting in spite of the in spite of the sorrow that it felt this past year and therefore after n when the door doesn't close yet then we should think about this and we should find a way each of us in our in our own way and each of us together with our own communities how we are going to Mark the occasions this year on the one hand we will be sad on the other hand we'll experience a Sim of reconciliation with KES that R hutner speaks about and somehow we'll balance it somehow we'll balance it so that the days will be meaningful My Hope and my prayer is that we chose three moments of of Yom kipur among the Myriad of moments that we could have chosen don't let the trumpet sound unheard recognize that throughout our lives our lives we are presented in unexpected moments with tremendous opportunities and when it comes to Yer every moment is an opportunity let's be there may arev ad arv let's be there from evening to evening marking the day and learning from it thank you [Music]