Orchos Chaim of the Rosh #33 - Get a Good Friend, Stay Away From Bad One's

this torah class is brought to you by torahanytime.com okay good afternoon everyone uh we're continuing in the archer's time of the raj today we're up to iceland gimmel you should be a good friend for those who fear god don't just be a friend of those who fear hashem you should be a good friend to them attach yourself to their friendship so it's important to have a good friend and the way to choose a good friend is those who are god-fearing mission above he tells us there's three reasons to have a good friend number one for torah because as much as you learn from your abbayim in a certain dimension one learns more from a friend even then from a rebbe number two for mitzvahs even if your friend is not more righteous than you even if your friend is does the wrong thing nevertheless when he's together with you he will often encourage you to do the right thing because just because he sins he doesn't want someone else to sin so having a friend is so to speak a uh it's a safety net there's a a story i like to say over um avigdor miller was once together with somebody and he had to say berkeley and then after berkeley riv miller thanked the person he said i thank you for berkeley you guys what are you talking about you're the one who said bro say yeah but i benched better because you were watching so if mayor rav miller had the godless to acknowledge that he does things better because he's around people everybody does things it because around people it takes red miller to admit to it the third reason rabbenu yoina says is to take advice that everybody needs to ask advice uh teshua baroy vyoye salvation comes from an abundance of advice and here rabinoyan is saying one should be a good cover to those who fear hashem you should attach yourself to their friendship um distance yourself from evildoers and love those who give rebuke now distance yourself from those who do wrong the in his laven he talks about being careful not to be macabre washing hard with other people because of him kabalash in heart with other people you're sort of you you're you're causing the speaker to speak and you're overlooking says well that's if you're the first listener but if you're the second and third the guy would have had an audience without you maybe the listener is not overlooked and then says but even if not never and even if you're not going to believe the lash and hara you should be careful not to sit with them because upstairs when they record this event anyone who's sitting there is recorded as an accomplice in other words you know you don't want to be caught on capitol hill when there's an uprising you don't want to be caught at a hafkana when the police come because when they come they don't really care you did something wrong you didn't do something wrong if you're there you're part of it you're an accomplice and quotes um that's who who commanded his children he said beni my sons do not sit among groups that speak disparagingly about their friends because when the matters go up that's safer it's written in a book anyone standing there is written in the khaburra of as an evil doer so therefore you don't want to be an accomplice even if you're not really actively participating in the avera you don't even want to be present so keep your distance from those who do wrong maybe we could say even if you're not going to do anything wrong i just want to be there no don't even be there don't even be in the vicinity otherwise you're considered an accomplice on the flip side it has to be me the taiva maruba in other words if you see a group of people doing a mitzvah could be even if you can participate it's worthwhile just to be in that vicinity you want to be inscribed to be one of the people who took part in it that's why i think i want to speak out a very important hanhagatova i think it's very worthwhile to consider this very often you get people get collections charity or other things people are collecting and the truth is it is impossible to give for everything because uh there's so many things that people are collecting for marubim sarca menu but i think it's a good practice but be part of it even if you just give one dollar you want to be part of those who did the mitzvah the same way you don't want to be recorded as someone who was in the vicinity of those who did not vera you just want to be you want to join with them give them a dime give them a quarter obviously you can't give a thousand dollars to every nitrath if you can great but even if if it's not possible it is possible to get to give a dhabra what and by giving a dover muat what you're doing is you're you're just you're being part of the mitzvah you're when it's going to be recorded those who are part of them it's not you're there doesn't mean you know you're the main advan but you had a yacht in it this was something you wanted to participate in this is something you want to be part of and i want to just mention one last hanhaga toiva or perhaps hanho gara and that is this is a han hoga that will determine to a significant extent what is a person what a person's islam hubba will be like and that is who do you sit next to in shul who is your neighbor in shoal unfortunately many people they like to sit next to their friends because it makes them feel more comfortable what exactly do you need to feel comfortable about in shul what what what interaction are you having with your neighbor and chill that you want to sit next to a friend if the guy who you're sitting next to somebody that you you know could have a good conversation with then this friendship and this association will lead you will lead a person to a very bad place because the besamidrish is the place that we declare our amuna and hashem and the zayar qatar says someone who speaks in the vasaneses leslie mihamnusa they don't have a muna they demonstrate that close broke is not found there so the best thing the best the most important neighbor to make sure that we have in this world is the neighbor that we sit next to in the base of knesses in the base of madrid that's what the rush says make sure you sit next to a yare hashem and if you do sit next to yara hashem then and you sit next to somebody who comes early and who doesn't talk so then very likely that that association will bring you to very great places however if a person chooses their schoolmate based on other factors it could be a very very dangerous associate association so of all friends in this world one has to be extremely careful to make sure that in the in the base hashem they sit next to the right person okay we're going to pick this up as a job next week monday we may have to adjust the timing because of minha and um i will try to do so tonight at 8 30 we have a unbelievable topic the topic is and behold yup that's the topic the topic you've always been waiting for your whole life you wanted to know when will there be a share on the words and behold wait no longer that chair is tonight it's name and behold the share will be at 8 30. okay everyone have a great night be you've just experienced another torah class brought to you by torahanytime.com