Orchos Chaim of the Rosh #126-127 Your Words Are Your Lifespan, Don't Talk With Fools

this torah class is brought to you by torahanytime.com okay good afternoon everyone brigham abbaam welcome everyone we continue in the archways of the rush we are closing in on the conclusion of the main body of the archicad of the rush we now are up to is i do not speak not at the appropriate time don't speak something that has no benefit guard the entrance of your mouth now this is very interesting don't speak not at the right time the posix says in michele the davar be it the matter says in the alkyd anyone who says aposic at the right time he brings good to the world so it's always appropriate to have the right word to say when you say the right words at the right time it's a davar toive but if it's not the right time sometimes people are in a shiva house and they start reminiscing about the good old days which is really irrelevant nonsensical chatter you can talk about dvaram that are not relevant to the mess so a person always has to know the appropriate topic at the appropriate time one has to speak about don't say things that have no toyalas first of all the martin ibama says of goldberg quotes just like there's a mitzvah to say something that will be listened to there is likewise a mitzvah not to say something that won't be listened to but rav goldberg says that simply what the rush means something that doesn't advertise it doesn't just mean don't give someone musser if it won't have any benefit it also means don't discuss things that are of no benefit does anybody know how many games are the yankees in first place what's their magic number what's that going to do for anybody what difference does it make and if they get if they're not too many games ahead in first place they'll buy another player for another 30 million dollars and they'll make sure they get into first place so it's not really a conversation as a talent yeah but what if my friend he's down and i see that he needs to just schmooze around a little bit well that might be considered a conversation that has a toyalis but in general don't speak about things that have no benefit by the way the rush said earlier an islamid rev goldberg refers to that the yekel being it should be easier for you to spend money than to say a word how do you like that the rash said your words on a scale the hin said your yes should be righteous and it should be easier for you to spend your money than to say a word you know how it is you go to the store and you're like should i buy that do we really need it we just got some maybe we could we could uh wait another month before we buy that people are second guess before they spend money especially when your wife says should i buy that then you really second guess so it should be much easier to allow someone to spend money than to say a word and if you're going to say something harsh you better weigh it very very well and therefore um guard the entrance of your mouth now the guru writes in his letter that a person should endure difficulty not by fasting but by silencing oneself and that is juva part of teshuva is quiet and that is the a lot of one's reward in the world to come the ability to reign in one's words as the guru famously quotes al korega viraga you're sitting at a chuppah what do i do i'm bored i have nothing to do well you should have brought a little copy of your gemara with you to review and if you didn't do that you know you could do you could practice the great accomplishment of not talking you know how productive you could be at that for the 30 minutes of that you could amass the great accomplishment of not talking you're sitting around the table what do i do uh this is so unproductive now it's very productive what about what am i producing the random says person should always produce a lot of silence silence is an accomplishment what did i do i look back on the day what did i do if you didn't talk a lot it was a good day if goldberg cites the safer nessie voice are there rabbits peterborough said about rabisto cilantro that his vigilance against lashanhara was exceptional even though he was very moore of immabrios but he was very careful from dvaram battalion one time he rebuked one of his relatives and he said on lush you know there's a concept who are you to tell me what to do maybe you have the same fault that i have so if you saw salanti would say you can't tell me who am i to tell you you know how careful i am in los angeles and i think says ruby sorel gamatvar and talem i think even regarding extra chatter you could probably also be confident that you can't say to me who am i because you know no you know i don't say an extra word and rub goldberg cites the banay saskar in the that there in fact is a allotment and a cap of how many words a person has given in their lifetime shalom mitzvah and if a person talks too much mitzvah he actually takes away from one's lifetime i actually once found that in the writings of the hida quoting vital and in the hagoys of the banaya saskar he brings in the name of a madrish that when a person thinks when a person is thought to be created they decree on him how many words he will say and interestingly the khidas says and i don't know how this fits into conventional and modern science because we know that women have a longer life expectancy than men but writes that the reason why women i guess in his times had a shorter life expectancy is because they talk more as the gemara says nine measurements of speech came 10 measurements of speech came down to the world women took nine of them if you say this is not politically correct i am unapologetic i can only tell you what i'll say i can't do better than that because i'll say that women have are more inclined to speaking so what does that say about the fact that nowadays women live longer than men maybe maybe you could say as follows women have been given greater capacity to speak than men and therefore it is easier for men not to talk than it is for women not to talk so if you see that men have a shorter life expectancy today than women do it's because women are doing a much better job in accordance with their ability than men are that means men are today not doing a great job relative to women in curtailing their kayak hadibar anyway um let us read one more ice cream don't speak with a crazy person they're not going to accept what you what you say the ivasa oisam they're just going to disgrace you now this has many meanings i'll tell you one of them if somebody asks you something and you can't do it or you don't want to do it never tell them why never say why the worst thing you could say do is give a reason why you're not doing something if you've decided not to do it because they're just oh that's the reason oh but i'll do but but i'll address that so you don't give a reason it's a heik why i have i can't say um but the russia is saying don't get involved in conversation with a crazy person because they won't accept what you say unless you're a therapist and you've been trained to deal with insanity which it's a good thing to know how to deal with because it's a very useful thing to know because uh it could happen you may meet a few people like that but unless a person is specifically trained don't get involved in long conversation or in uh shock levitation with people who are crazy and it will just lead to you being shamed it will just be lead to them stirring the pot and it will not lead to anything good now it's interesting because earlier on the rush said a nice coffee don't be a friend with a bad person a sinner an angry person a fool it would just bring you shame but here it's saying i'm not their friend don't even get involved in conversation shake their hand smile at them give them a pat on the back be courteous and get away as fast as you can it's not worth anybody's time it's just going to lead to difficulty marvel you say we'll see you all tomorrow at have a wonderful you've just experienced another torah class brought to 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