Oorah's 'Shark-Tank' Parody featuring Mr. Ralph Zucker

Welcome to URA's Shark Tank, the battle for a cause. You are wrong. Stop yelling and listen to what I have to say. These program directors are fighting to win. You'll get the most for your money when you invest in my program. It's clear that my program is the program and win big. Why give your money to something good when you can give your money to something better? My dear friend, my dear shark, you're about to make a $500 [Music] mistake. You are here uh at the URA auction, 1877 auction and ura.org or uh listening live uh from our flagship station in Lakewood, Elhanan. And uh here we have with us this evening our very first uh shark. We'll have three who uh we will who our uh program directors will pitch to. He is a noted Oscan, president of Somerset Development, a man with uh many many uh wonderful uh talents who uses them. Lova Sakl, we'd like to welcome our first doc, our first shark, Mr. Rafal Zucker. With us this evening, welcome aboard. Welcome to the radioathon. Now, for those of you listening, uh the rule is going to be like this. Each of our program directors over here is going to have uh starting with Rabbi Beerman Beerman will have a chance to have 60 seconds exactly to pitch their program to Mr. Zooker. You will not be able to argue with each other. You cannot interrupt each other. You have 60 seconds. Then Mr. Zucker has a chance to ask you some questions uh and maybe a bit of a rebuttal to what you have stated and then you will make the decision as to where and what you will be funding. And now we start. Raber, go ahead. You have 60 seconds. Your time starts now. URA has a lot of wonderful programs. We do great work. But whatever you do, when you take a kid and you have him in public school and for six hours a day or more, he's engrossed in a an environment that's totally antithetical to what we're trying to do at URA. He's exposed to posters. He's exposed to campaigns in the school that undermine everything that we're doing where his whole social life, his whole all his friends, everybody's with all day is either not Jewish or totally non-observant. The message he gets bang he gets knocked into his head or her head every day all day are messages that undermine what we're trying to accomplish here at URA. That is why we fund tuitions because we don't want kids in that environment. We fund tuitions because we take them from an environ forget about the positive aspects of tuition of tuitions that we sponsor. tuitions that we sponsor take the kids from an environment that undermines everything we try to do and then and and we pull them out of that environment and we put them in a place so that our other programs can kick in. But there's nothing more important than that bread and butter of taking them out of the place that their minds are being poisoned and they are being their their ashkafos their outlook on life and their education is is is an education that totally goes against what we stand for. Okay. Thank you very much. Uh, very good, very well presented. Rabbi Rakman, you're next. Okay, Mrs. Look, I'm going to represent the Tormates program. As you are aware, it's a program that's a one-on-one learning program for adults. We have about 1,800 adult partnerships and about 1,200 uh, junior Torah mates. And uh, I'm going to cut straight to the tech to the chase. You're a businessman. So Tora mates is the most diversified investment you can get. We have people that are 90 years old that have Tormates. We have children that are eight years old that have Tormates and anything in between men and women. It's also not a seasonal investment because Tormates is week in week out. Every single week of the year you learn with your Tormates. Some people learn a couple of times a week at the Tormates. Tormates is also an investment that you can market test yourself. You can have your own Tormate as I believe you do. Mr. Zuka if you recognize this picture. Who's this person sitting here right next to you? That is your Torah mate. What's his name? Okay, this is your Torah mate that you met. And uh it's also an investment that will ensure any other programs that you have. It will ensure men's investment of tuition because when a kid's in camp, a kid's in school, his parents will have Torah mates to help them along to help to be mazic the parents. So the children will be able to be successful in school. Either they'll learn with the with the parents or the parents can do homework with the children. It also will ensure that after a kid's in camp for a month or two months, he has his Tormate to follow up with him and to keep him going throughout the year. And also, last but not least, it's the biggest bang for your buck because Tormates, if you're donating $500, what are you going to get tuition? $500, how much is that going to last you in the school? How much is going to last you in camp? But with $500, you can set up 10 tomates, 10 partnerships, which is 20 people, including sending them books for them to learn day in day out for years to come. Thank you Rabbi Rakman, Rabbi Kravitz, your 60 seconds. Okay. I want to thank Rabbi Beerman and Rab Rakman for presenting the tuition side and the Tormate side. Mr. Zukar, you are a visionary. You drive around Lakewood or wherever you develop and you see forests, you see undeveloped areas and you say, "I'm going to build houses. I can't help myself. I'm going to build a lot of houses in those in those uh areas." And you see, you get it. you're you you know how to see not just what you're looking at or what it could grow into. Obviously, when you come to buy a house, Rabbi, the the the other programs here are talking about finishing the product. I'm at the beginning. I'm the foundation. As you know, when you see that plot of land, you have to survey it. You got to hire people. You got to deal with all the neighbors who don't like things. You got to um um have plans and you got to change the plans. Then you got to start building. Then you got to have foundation. Sending somebody to camp is the beginning. Sending somebody to camp is makes is a place where Yiddish is vibrant and exciting. Not everybody at first is ready to sit in the yeshiva. There's a big growing pains that someone has to do. Not everyone is ready to take on a Torah mates. you you get you you're bang for the buck when there are 600 kids 600 kids 800 kids uh 600 staff members where they come to the zone and you have you'll have I said 600 there's 800 kids who will walk out with a zest and excitement for Yiddish guide and thus then we can build so if you want to be a visionary as you are I invite you to join me and invest in the in the zone camp okay so they all make uh Mr. They all they all uh make some very compelling points. Any questions for our uh first of all a statement. I want to tell Rabbi Kravitz that as an investor flattery will get you nowhere. So thank you very much. However, I I'd like to start with Rabbi Beerman. You know, I always like to see somebody who has a little bit of skin in the game as well. You want to co-invest. You don't want to invest and have your money hanging out there all alone. And when you're sending children to school and you're paying their tuition, are their parents co-investing with them? Does anybody else have skin in the game or is URA just picking up the tuition totally all by themselves? URURA's tuition programs, sometimes they pick up the entire tuition. However, it's a scaled program and the more involved the family is, the more involved the family is, if the parents have Torah mates, if the parents are involved in rural programs, the child goes to camp, that tuition is scaled up. This tuition subsidy scales up and up so we can get the most bang for our buck. We're we're right now we're paying for tuitions partial or full tuitions for over 600 children and in schools throughout the country and in Eric in Yeshiva's advance every tuition is taken on a case- by case basis and very frequently the parents involvement the child's tuition subsidy is contingent upon the parents involvement in URA's programs and the parents investment financial why is it necessary to subsidize a tuition Don't the parents have to pay tuition anyway? No, the kids are doing public school. Great answer. Okay. Uh, Rabbi Kravitz, sort of the same question in camp. Wouldn't the kids be going to camp anyway? Why is it necessary to have a It's great. I love everything you said about camp. I've enjoyed camp many years, but kids are going to camp. Why can't Why Why would they need my money to send somebody else's child to camp? Because first of all, a lot of our kids will not go to camp because they're scared uh they're scared to uh obviously go to from camp. They're not fit for that. Number one. Number two is many of them can't afford camps. We we give substantial scholarships to our children to get to camp. Why send a kid to our camp? Because when you send a kid to the camp, you've now entered into the UR family and then you can thus join every other program, the tuition and the Torah mates. But I'm talking about back to the basics. No flattery, straight talk. Back to the basics. You got to excite the kids. You got to get them started. The only place in all the three programs that we're talking about where kids get excited about Yiddish Kite for everybody across the board, basic to more advanced, is you come to the zone camp and you're ready to go. Last but not least, Rabbi Rabbi Rahman. Who at right now at this point, like who's who's got the edge over here? Who where you where you leading? Could you give us I still have to hear from Rabbi Rahman. Uh, all great programs, uh, great answers. I want to hear a little bit more about Torah Mates. Why does Tormates need money at all? You're taking somebody, you're saying, "Make a phone call, learn Torah. I live with a kusa. I don't have to have somebody pay me. I don't have to raise money for it. Why do I have to invest in Torah mates? It's a great program, but what's the money for?" We got to pay for the plaques. Very good point. And that's why the overhead is very, very low. And you get the biggest bang for your buck. But there is a cost in facilitating to set up Torah mates to be able to find two people that are actually compatible with each other. They learn they want to learn the same thing. They're going they're available at the same time and they actually will get along with each other. We want we don't want to just set up two people like says that this the king set up and the next morning they all broke up. We want to set up tourmates that are going to last for a long time. A real relationship that's not just going to be about learning. It's also going to be about mentoring and about bringing the family along in their journey through Yiddish Kite. While Mr. Zuker is debating this very very very tricky decision, we want to remind you out there that you also could weigh in at 18777 auction ura.org. I hope you're learning about these important Torah mate the zone and the yeshiva education. And I I hope you've been listening to the numbers over here. You're talking about 3,000 Torah mates just like Justin Zer All of a Shalom. Am I correct in that? 1,200 and 800 is 3,000. And you're talking about 600 children in yeshivas all over the world. And you're talking about at the zone a staff of 600 volunteers, mind you, a staff of 600 volunteers for 800 children. And now let's hear what Mr. Zuker has to say. What's your uh finish? So as Okay. Have you heard enough? You running? Go ahead. Are you ready to make a decision? Have you heard enough? Yes, I am. Okay. And who who who's it going to be? Okay. So, at the at the risk of uh of running uh uh uh suffering from Rabbi Kravitz's Revenge and uh all great programs and Rabbi Beerman, you made a great case, but I think I'm going to go with Rabbi Rakman and Tormates. And let me tell you why. [Music] I think there's nothing as valuable, nothing I could invest in better than the pure unadulterated Torah learning. Two people sitting to sitting together, a kafa shaft. That is what's kept us going through all the years and that's what's going to keep us going. It's a feeder to the camp. It's a feeder. That's why you have people to pay tuition for. That's why you have kids that come to the camp. That's how you keep them together. All great programs. I'm going to go with Tormates. Mr. Zooker, I have to tell you that the Kramer family backs you up. The Kramer family was just here and they said their journey started with Tormates and that's 1877 Torah 123. If anybody wants to get involved to be a Torah mate, 1877 Torah 123. If anybody wants to support the Torah system or to support the yeshivas and have a child in yeshiva, Rabbi Beerman, what would it be for a child in yeshiva now to support where both parents are in Torah mates? I believe it's $3,000 in elementary school. $3,000 to have a child in yeshiva and that's a schooler to have children, grandchildren. It's a school for shiden 1877 auction ura.org. Okay, thank you so much the shark. Once again, we'll be having two more segments of the shark