R' Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz's View on Shidduchim and More - Oorahthon 2015

Let me just uh introduce him. Uh for for those of you that remember uh some of you are actually trying to forget. Uh last year we had a a very unexpected and uh a special opportunity to speak to one of my close friends about his interesting insight into the crisis and that ultimately led into a very memorable uh featured highlight in the Mishbah magazine uh which basically brought the crisis to the forefront of Shidim and uh and the response was just absolutely overwhelming. I mean uh uh uh over 3,000 email responses and countless discussions and Mishbah magazine eventually had to shut it down because it would have just gone till now uh talking about the shitta crisis and and that also led to the opening of Asia Lapidis uh which is funded solely by Schlamuda even though he takes a backseat to it but I could I could myself and Rabbi Kravitz could both attest to the fact because his wife works there and I uh get uh email updates, I guess, uh, about about the shukim that they're doing and the unbelievable work they do with therapists and dealing with older singles. Just yesterday, a 28-year-old girl got engaged with a 26-y old boy, Rabbi Kravitz, his wife, who's the along along with along with Rabbi Kaplan, by the way, another noted um, Asus Litis um, let me let me just finish. So after all of that discussion and and and for all that uh Urugu received $18,000 uh from Schlamhuda and Shamihuda are you on the line is there? I am. You're there. Okay. Not not that we didn't appreciate the 18,000 but basically we did not appreciate it at all. Uh Samuda you have been known to give much bigger numbers. It's very forward and UR is so vital to what they do and I can tell you now Schlamuda uh if you pledge $18,000 again we will ban your CD and put you in as well as your CD in Kum. Uh and when we called Schllemuda on Friday, he decided he was going to up the ante and actually send uh 40 or 50 free CDs of Shar for anybody who donates over $200. And I just want to say that first of all uh I I I got a matching quote here from a very close friend of Mishi Mendelitz who also uh sang on the sheer CD and probably one of the greatest voices of our generation and he's coming out with a brand new CD Nostalgia coming up this Tuesday and he has also said that he'll throw in a free CD for anybody that gives over $200 this week uh just for this shik hour. Wow. very generous of both of you and thank you Shamuda for being a team player and immediately agreeing uh to uh be be on this call. Shami Huda Shamud, are you there? Freddy. Freddy, talk a little bit louder because I can't hear you that well. I can't hear. I cannot hear. Are we? I can hear. I just can't hear you that well. You raise the volume. You want to hear? Do you want to hear the whole thing again from Freddy or you had enough? No, no, no. I I I I heard everything from Freddy. I see is in a really good mood. Uh, but I'm just if they can somehow uh higher the volume uh somewhat. Now I got you in my earlihood. All right. So good. On behalf of Fish and Ura and Aram and Alan, we'd like to thank you for coming on the program. And I guess I just want to start with a very basic question. uh in in your opinion have we improved in the last year the shitta crisis and are we heading in the right direction right now? Um uh to answer it basically you know I I think uh everyone will agree that no we have not improved um no we're not headed in the right direction. Uh unfortunately the cause of the problem uh is still there and as long as the cause is still there um the problem is going to persist uh and get worse [Music] um I I personally have have changed the name uh uh and I I don't like being a pessimist but you know this is something again that really needs to uh stay on the forefront. Um but I've I've changed the name to from the Shiddok crisis to the Auna crisis. Uh and you know the reason is you know no you don't have to uh have electric cattle prods involved uh for there to be uh an Auna. Um we and and I mean we collectively including myself. Is that is that where is this going as far as the Are you recommending cattle? Cattle bra, but we didn't hear the rest of it. Yeah. What' you say? All right. Freddy, the first thing I think we need to do is get the white elephant out of the room. Freddy, I just asked you to leave the room. We're trying to to to follow what you'd like, but he's holding on tight. White yellow elephant wearing it yellow tie. But but but uh you know we collectively are making uh man-made aunas and and you know an auna is basically someone a girl who's chained who who who uh cannot get married and we can make all the uh programs we want and we can make all the uh conventions and single conventions and offer money. Um, but the problem is is there are not enough boys period. Uh and no one person uh no one organization uh no amount of money in the world is going to uh uh uh eliminate uh the crisis until everybody is able to get together uh in a concerted effort uh and make certain changes uh changes that that may be considered rash to some. Uh but nevertheless, we're going to have to make those changes because um as I follow uh Asia Lapidote uh uh not as much as I should, um I see the amount of girls that are coming in uh over the age of 25. uh great girls, everything going for them. Um and all looking for some of them not forget a sh they can't get a date. Uh and then when it's boys night uh to come in um you could you could explode a bomb and nobody would get hurt. Uh because there's no there's nobody there. Um and I I think it's one of the biggest challenges uh if not the biggest challenge uh facing Kie's struggle today. Uh and and the good news is I guess I guess if you call it good news the good news is that uh it's going to end um and it's going to end pretty soon. Uh when Khalila comes to the point which inev inevitably it will come to of uh when everyone has a sister or a daughter or a granddaughter or a very close friend who is affected by this um that will cause change. Unfortunately, if that's the way change has to come, it's going to come with uh along with a lot of uh collateral damage. Um and that's definitely something we don't want. And I think that um you just had Rabbi Pagro on and he's someone who is is Lashma and I see it all the time. so involved uh in trying to figure out something new, a new idea, and I get constant emails from different people who have different ideas. Um, and they're all great ideas, but they don't uh they don't uh take care of the root cause of the problem, which is the age gap. And as long as you don't take care of the problem, uh the problem is going to stay. Um you know, like you mentioned, Frey, we got uh in the Mishbaha magazine, uh an unprecedented amount of responses. Um and you know, I have to say most of them, you know, were nice, uh friendly, uh not threatening or violent. Um, but there was one the the one complaint or the one problem that people uh had with what I had to say uh was that you are not leaving enough up to the age. You have to have the ten we have to d and we have to have the you're not going to make a program. You're not going to be able to do something that's going to fix this. Nobody will. That's why we didn't have amuna and we have the ten and unfortunately I think that um that answer uh while we definitely all have to have amuna and we all have to have the I think you have to realize uh the line of when it goes from to and I'll give you an example you know a person can't sit at home all day uh by the dining room table and say, "I can't believe this. I'm not making up." You know, uh I should I really shouldn't be the one saying this because I pretty much do sit at home all day, but uh you can't you you you're then already you you've gone into looking for an ace. Uh what we can what the we have to have and the we have to have in my humble opinion um is when something is already and as we know all tea uh is na is is really a it's just tea. It's it's nisim that we're used to. So we call them tea. But you have to have something in the realm of tea. And and you have to go make that histadas in the realm of tea. And from there you can have the ten and from there you can have a leap of faith and decide that that that uh uh you're going to to to change things by setting up a system where every year more girls come back and less boys come back. Um you are creating a situation which bite cannot be cured. You would literally need a nas gully uh for this to work. So I I I' I've seen that argument from from a lot of people and and I wanted to bring out the point that uh I don't agree with it simply and I may be wrong. I'm not a a professional uh or I'm not you know considered a a dosar and all but my understanding for my rabbam as I grew up uh was that was that there has to be aadless that's done and you have to bring it into the realm of tea to even ask uh for something to happen we have touda we got to take a station break we we we before we take a station break I just want to Schlam Huda. Already three people have called to try to get your Shear CD for free. Uh, and have to just have to do a quick station. We'll go right back to Shlehuda W. We are on WABC 770 a.m. WMCA 570 a.m. We're on Jroot Radio95.1 FM and in Lakewood on 107.9. We're also live streaming at auction.org or on the hotline 718557055 or 71855705. Okay, a couple of things. A couple of things. It's 2:25 um 2:25 and 25 minutes. The website is closing. You could still call WABC New York New York 770 WMCA New York. Again, 2:25 the website is closing. However, the the phone number is still open. And believe it or not, 2:00 a.m. We still have people here ready to answer your calls. 877 auction 8777 auction. and ura.org. We want to hear from you. You can get you can get through. We are fully staffed here ready to take your donation. And now back to Schlami Huda. Schlami Huda. We we were just listening to you for about 10 minutes. Uh is there anything that you wanted to finish off over there about the Shik crisis? Um well, pretty much I'm uh as I call you back into the room, Freddy. Um, it's you guys. It's the Kanim who have to start uh worrying about the older girls. I know it's a lot easier um for you to make a sh but uh uh when it's a 19year-old girl and a 20 22 or 23 year old baker but um Freddy got to look at it and you know with all love and respect that I have for you and you know that I do um you got to look at it and and say to yourself maybe I'm part of this uh crisis and maybe I'm part of creating or continuing this uh sh crisis as well. I need to start focusing on the uh older older girls. Are you saying Freddy holds part of the blame for the crisis in today's society? I am the blame. That's that's what it sounds like. I I would say most of the blame because he does most of the um but I'm not only going to take it out on him because there's so many other but in seriously they're asked I I believe that Hunam have to put in more time. I know it's not as easy, but I think they have to put in more time in focusing on these older girls. You know, there's no two ways about it. I think I think uh now that you're making this uh personal uh if I could just digress and ask you a question that has been baffling me for quite some time. Uh most of the world uh heard about our as far as I know the world that I live in has heard about our unexpected uh trip in the middle of the night uh to go visit Arya in Israel and somehow solve all the political landscape uh problems that they have over there uh in the and we we flew down there uh commercial economy and uh and we and we and we went to uh uh Israel and it was just amazing how you were able to squeeze one of those economy seats. I think that might have been the biggest of that whole thing. And the bottom line is is that after being there for 4 days um and me being a front row viewer, I still have absolutely no idea what we were doing there. And uh and neither does anybody else for that matter. And perhaps you can shed some light uh as to what was going on in the back room when after Derry said, which in in in English means I don't want to speak in front of the obese man. And I think he was referring to me. I'm not sure about that, but I was then kindly asked to leave the room. Uh, and I would just now like for you perhaps to shed some light as to what now that we have you on the spot live on air with over 100,000 people listening, you can shed some light as to what went on in the back doors uh with Arya Derry. Oh boy, Freddy, you're taking this personal. Um, uh, first of all, the the biggest nace on that plane was not me fitting into the economy uh seat. It was you fitt fitting into the economy seat. Um, I don't know if you've uh met a mirror lately, but you should take a look uh at some point. But you know what? I'll be honest with you. Uh I and I said this uh Freddy when we were there. Um I don't think uh we really accomplished anything. Um I don't uh I don't you know know know why uh we were asked to go but we were asked um at the time by uh many gdylum um to go. Uh I never had had spoken to Ary Dari beforehand um have never met with him beforehand. I could tell you that I was extremely impressed with how brilliant uh he was. Um and and I'd like to think now, and um uh do me a favor, Freddy. Don't don't uh uh ruin this for me. I'd like to uh to think now that they just passed a Knesset with um 61 seats and uh I have no doubt that if Barry uh did not rejoin Shas uh Shas would have fallen apart and or maybe only gotten four seats uh in which case we wouldn't have been able to see this tremendous Yeshua from the Abisher where literally the uh Yungalites are getting back every single thing that they didn't get uh beforehand. So uh maybe I was u uh helpful in in in in some way. Um uh I don't know at the time why you know there were and and and he had a you know all these uh mets there and and why he picked to speak to a a uh uh a 43y old shnook but uh it was u a way to get my picture in me at I was not going to give that up. Um, so, uh, but you have to you have to agree, Freddy, we did I I think we we both agree that, uh, we did have a, uh, uh, a good time there. And, um, we had time. I would hate to see what the room service bill was. Do you mean do you mean that it was a do you mean that it was a coincidence that Freddy was there when Derry signed the coalition? I'm gonna, you know, I'm going to I'm I'm going to be very honest with you and and you know, I have not uh told this to Freddy, but you know, it's fine. It has to come out. Uh and it's going to come out, so I might as well say it. They didn't need me there uh at all. You're kidding. They needed Freddy there. And there's no doubt in my presence. The only way that they were going to get Freddy uh was if I would be able to get him. And the reason they needed Freddy there was because they were trying to solve yet a bigger problem uh which a lot of you don't know about because we live in America. But there is a big problem right now uh with the Palestinians and they alone have a And the reason this is is is very simple. Um the problem is is that the girls go to school uh till they're 18 years old. Um and and uh the boys by the time they're 17 and a half uh usually Barashem 99 and a half% of the time it's in their own backyard. Uh they blow themselves up. Uh so by the time the girls get on the market, uh there really is um no boys left. Uh and we knew that if we brought someone as distinguished uh and as important um as Freddy, someone who is I don't want I don't want to disturb you, but I just want to say another six people that have called up and requested nostalgia CDs and one of those people also asked for a sheer CD. So, thank you again for your generous donation. I just want to mention I just want to mention like this the auction lines are still open and uh before we go back to Schlleuda the website closes at 2:25 and the U 877 shalom 877 auction is is open after 2:25 we have great prizes I just want to tell you though before we give you back to Freddy I know Freddy a long time if you need anything out of him now's the time to ask on radio I've never seen a guy with a larger smile since I know him you gave gave him credit for the Knesset. You gave him credit for the Schiller crisis. So really, you've made history for solving the Arab-Israeli conflict. And they they did they I I from what I've heard the the they are solving the Palestinian crisis since he's been there. just the welcoming, the seeing of of of of someone uh like Freddy, someone so uh honored uh respected uh and revered by most uh pizza shops in the tri-state area uh and him coming there taking out of his daily schedule to come and show that he cares uh I think was uh was extremely helpful. I appreciate you. Original joke. I told this to Freddy when uh I was there, but uh I'm I'm using again since nobody heard it. I appreciate you clarifying all these things. Uh and once we have you on the phone uh we we were highly anticipating you you coming uh and speaking on the Uathon uh but unfortunately uh last second you cancelled uh surprise. Uh and then and then uh last year you were supposed to come and speak uh by the Parnasa Expo as was advertised uh in the entire world and surprise surprise uh you did not show up again. And perhaps you can take out a a moment of your time to give uh the 100,000 or plus listeners I heard there was 135,000 callers in the first hour. Uh if you could take out a moment to give our audience some tips on how to make parnasa. I mean, you you're sitting on your couch in Los Angeles uh and seemingly doing it with ease. How can we sit on our couch here in Lakewood and perhaps make amounts of money uh and do it that way? I think you're doing fine on that also. Well, the f the the f the first guy uh needs to open up a couch store so uh so everybody can get couches and so let that that would take care of the first person um in Lakewood. But on a more on a more serious note, I I'll actually tell you, it's very interesting you asked that. I will give a tip on paranoia. Um, and I've said this over quite a few times. It's something that um uh a story that that uh I said over a few times. I don't want to go over through the through the whole story, but a few years ago, I was uh by Yehuda and Rubim Ki and Rabar Lee and I asked all of them, how does a uh an Asher keep his money? what's his shira and they all answered me two answers but the sad sh was to be mocked on ribbis and it's just in in in in this week's parisha that we uh we speak about uh we we speak about ribbis and uh and in and uh the the I if I had to give a tip on parnaza because paranas clearly is something that we don't control um you know uh it has nothing to do with how smart you are. I've seen um you know the smartest people uh do nothing and I've seen you know people in the IQ's and you know uh the mid- teens uh create large businesses and you know I've seen deals that I thought would be terrific you know turn out to be nothing and deals that I thought would be nothing uh turn out to be very profitable. So obviously this has nothing to do with us. It's coming from somewhere high or above and and it's it's a it's a straight out it's it's a gammor about uh hamala barbis and interestingly enough um uh there there's a a rashi very interesting rashi in this week's parachute uh and rashi says uh uh that the puss says I'm forgetting the words of the pikes the eraser And Rashi was bothered by a simple question. We're going through all these throughout the whole para and all of a sudden we get to ribbis and all of a sudden out of nowhere the tire adds in va. You should fear Hashem. Why why here are we mentioning it and not anywhere else uh in any of the other sukin and rashi says and I forget the exact lion of rashi but he says it's it's a person's nature to want ribbus and therefore a person is miraet and tries all these interesting creative ways uh to get around uh the problem of ribbus and when I look at that rashi I say to myself the only the only uh thing that rashi was missing there was the word iskaet iska he said iska he didn't say and that that's shot in the p of hashem knows already you can't play games it's either interest or whether you write it to business whatever you write I mean we lend money today to yes we take interest what kind of business is that but we still will do it and we'll do it with isa um and And uh I saw some of the resham also uh say that ribbus is something that is so um so so uh uh user that even the cipher a person who writes thear in arav you cosign on the loan is also kay uh for ribbis and I think that if if people would be 100% more careful uh about ribbis uh which is my pet peeve um and and and something that since I spoke to those gay I' I've tried to be very careful on I think that would be one reason and one way for people um to have tremendous uh in paraso on a more practical note um uh if I I just want to interject by saying that sodk told me he has never taken ribbus and yet he is seemingly not cutting it in the parnasa aspect. So perhaps you could bring this down to our level a little bit hour our when I say me and sodic. Uhhuh. Well uh again you have to sadic I got to tell you something. You have to uh uh think to yourself for instance let's say uh somebody uh lent you money and you read the mash that could be ribbus you know you never know you never know if if you watch it carefully you never know uh what ribbis is but um I find it hard to believe because uh from how you were complaining about khan where did you have the money to lend to get ribbluda uh they're they're they're putting a lot pressure on me over here. Uh but in all seriousness, uh we really really want your aces, but more more so Uru wants your money. Uh and I was in the middle of getting tips and and we're just putting you directly on the spot right now and asking for a pledge. I think many hundreds of thousands of people are listening. Maybe even a quarter for every person. I don't know. Uh we're we're asking you. Last year you gave 18,000 and you you received 12 plush fiveishes in the mail uh immediately after uh after the after the segment and this year we're hoping that you would be able to up that pledge. So I'll tell you what, Freddy, I was thinking when when you were mentioning to me before that uh how how excited and delighted you were with my $18,000. I actually thought of uh of what I'd like my pledge to be this year. Um, and this is this is what I'd like to pledge, especially since it's such a vital organization. It's so needed. Um, and uh, it is so deserving of STA. And this is what I'd like to do. Um uh from today or I guess from tomorrow morning or this morning um I will give uh $2,000 for every pound that Freddy loses by next year. [Applause] I'm not sure what everybody's clapping about. I'm not sure about what happens if I gain 12 pounds. Do we need to send you a check? Oh, hold on one second. Am I Am I I just want to make sure I'm right. If you if you lose 100 pounds, that's $200,000 to Okay, so here's what I'm going to tell you. The chances of Freddy losing 200 200 100 lb is just as good as him fitting into economy seat um on an airplane or lose from autism down to a more practical level. I think URA would be a lot happier with an 18,000 and and and speaking on behalf of the organization, the last person we want to have this uh um resting on this deal rest on is Freddy. Well, let me tell you something. I know Freddy cares about Urus so much. Uh because he comes on he comes on the show every year and I'm going I'm going to make it easier and I'm going to say the he doesn't have to be that weight next year because we all know he's not going to keep it off. That's right. Almost being ridiculous. You're right. He cares about URA, but he cares about breakfast, lunch, and supper a lot more. But I'll tell you something, the the the most weight he loses between now and next year, so even if he, let's say, loses 30 lbs or 40 lbs and then uh comes back into those pizza shops that rever him so much uh and starts gaining it back, I will give uh $2,000 per pound at the highest uh or at the lowest weight. Uh that he was having this is for you also. The entire group is sweating right now. Do we have we should have a weigh in right now though? If someone can get a scale right now scale. Okay. One second. I just have to I just want to say I got to get Freddy. One second. I just got to get in. The website is closing at 2:25. That's 6 minutes to um to donate. It's the it's the.org. You could still call in at 8777 auction 8777 auction not to put you on the spot but I have a shila on your on your on your on your stickle that you said giving a donation to us through Freddy like that is probably rivers plus in my humble opinion. Well, I'll tell you what. I I I will give you I'll give you a choice. Honestly, I'll give you a choice. I will either give uh lay that offer on the table or I will just give $50,000. My apes to you with one of those anesthesia shops, get them into an operating room and do the band, the sleeve, and all the other things all together for the four eye, right? It would have to go right over that first band. for so with your help uh all the that Hashem has given you the the the made you the and make and all that that you've had Israel needs you to continue making these and we need you uh to remain healthy and skinny like me you want to be skinny like me yeah so you therefore I'm going to give you a choice it's going to be the 50 you can't and you can't choose afterwards we got to do this now it's the 50,000 or the 2000. Uh Eddie, how much do you care? I mean, not Eddie, Freddy. I keep I keep forgetting Freddy because it's so hard to to remember Freddy when his name is really rebro and uh uh so so Freddy, it's your decision. Um where I guess and we're going to say goodbye, but I'm going to give Uru one last final piece of advice. Take the 50K. Uh I guarantee you one minute. One minute. Who that? Someone that works for URA. It's not even a question. We love Freddy, but we don't love him that much. And at the end of the day, we thank you for your donation to school mitzvah. Thank you for being and thank you for joining. And we're going to a