One Heartfelt Krechtz | Rabbi Reuven Schmeltzer

The Ba’al Shem Tov told a story of the Yid who spent an entire day in the marketplace, hustling and bustling on his business. The whole day passes by in a jiffy. Suddenly he sees the sun is about to set. Time for Mincha. He gives a Krechtz, Oy, a whole day passed, and I have not thought about the Aibishter even for one moment. He runs into an alleyway. He finds a quiet spot. He davens Shemoneh Esrei with his mind wandering. Not one drop of Kavanah. Said the Ba’al Shem Tov, He is so beloved and precious in the eyes of Hashem, because he made one Krechtz. The Krechtz that he made is בוקע רקיעים, it breaks through the heavens. The feeling of disappointment in himself, that feeling itself is beloved to Hashem, because that shows the רצון that he had to really do good. The Krechtz itself has so much value. The Yismach Yisroel in Parshas Eikev brings a story from the heilige Arizal, that R’ Chaim Vital asked him a penetrating question. The Yerushalmi tells us about the Mishna in Shabbos that says, We all know an animal, a פרה, cannot go out on Shabbos in the public domain with a רצועה, with a strap hanging from its horn. And it says that R’ Elazar ben Azarya’s פרה did go out like that, שלא ברצון חכמים the Chachamim were not happy with him. And the Yerushalmi says that he did Teshuva on that. The Teshuva that he did was he fasted and fasted, until his teeth turned black. How many תעניות that is, I have no idea. Hundreds, perhaps thousands. But the Yerushalmi tells us another thing. That it wasn't his פרה, it was his neighbor’s, but since he did not protest, it's considered as if he did it. So R’ Chaim Vital looked at his Rebbe and he said, If that's the Teshuva he has to do for such a seemingly small Aveira, what's going to be with me that I'm full from head to toe with Aveiros? And if I may add, 500 years later, the question is glaring. What about us? How could we possibly do Teshuva? And the Arizal answered him, My Talmid, that was then. But today, one Krechtz מעומק הלב is worth more than all those תעניות. That's the value of a Krechtz. No positive intention is insignificant, nothing. Any feeling that I have, a positive feeling, a step forward, has a value. And even if I fell, the Avoda on us is not to say, I've tried so much, so many times. It's so difficult. I give up. If the Krechtz brings feelings of disappointment and ייאוש, then the Nisayon is always to חס ושלום not to look at it that way and say: The very fact that I gave a Krechtz, that itself is so beloved by Hashem, and that's going to serve as an impetus for me to grow, because it shows, it revealed the רצון of how good I'd like to be. The Ba’alei Mussar lately, the late 50-60-70 years have said that an Aveira is terrible, but the main problem with an Aveira is not so much the Aveira. It's how we deal with it afterward. The task, especially today, when we're so small and our minds and our hearts are so poisoned, the main idea, the main תכלית is how to deal with the Aveira afterward. After we reach a point that we've done something wrong, we have to say: Oy! And the Krechtz that we say is something that we should realize is so precious to Hashem. Ah, now this can be used as a vehicle to grow. We must not only appreciate our obvious successes. We have to treasure our disappointments. This is the true victory. Let us learn how to value and appreciate a Krechtz.