Olami Shabbat Table -- April 30 2020 -- Introducing The Shabbat Table with Charlie Harary

[Music] okay everybody so yes thank you for that video let me just explain to you what is going to happen here each week so every week at our Shabbat table here we are going to have a featured guest speaker they're going to share with you a new perspective about Shabbat each week we are going to talk about a different topic a different perspective a different idea something different about Shabbat so that we have something to take with us now this week we are very fortunate we got a very very special speaker he's full of inspiration motivation you never ever leave his talks without something to think about he's a world-renowned motivational speaker a successful businessman and much much more and without further ado I turn the mic over to mr. Charlie Hari okay thank you so much thank you guys for those who are all over the country appreciate the opportunity allow me thanks so much for being awesome constantly thinking about new stuff to do and it's an honor to be part of this program it's it's critically important now in them and thanks so much in advance for the time and attention to ever get this feeling once where you're flying on an airplane and whenever you're flying an airplane like I feel like we get like especially now we remember the old days remember the old days when we flew airplanes remember those days like where we used to fly in airplanes so you feel like when you fly on an airplane that you become so anti-social you ever had that like feeling we're like you go on an airplane you sitting down and like the plane starts to fill in and like there isn't a there aren't a lot of people online and like you're starting to do the math in your head and you're going there's 20 chairs here and there's only eight people like am I gonna get my own row you ever get that sense that excitement of like not having to like talk to someone for like two and a half hours it's like the greatest gift God can give you it's like oh my god did I get nobody sitting next to me like this is insane I get picked the aisle I could pick the window this is the best day of my life so cut two years ago I was flying to Miami from New York for the weekend and that's exactly what happened a small little plane - and - and I get on the plane and I sit down there's not a lot of people early like 6 o'clock flight and we go rolling in no one's wearing gloves or masks can you believe it was sitting down in those those chairs I'm just thinking today brother I don't know I was thinking today about like I kid you not like 4 months ago I was on flying from LA and when you fly from LA that they lost him they load you from the front so you pass through first class time passed in first class I see a lady I kid you not with like a disinfectant wipe wiping down her screen wiping down in tears I'm like can you look up being myself like settle down like can you relax like now thinking like can you imagine it getting on an airplane you're not doing that so I'm sitting on an airplane and all of a sudden like I have a free seat and I'm like counting counting I'm like this is gonna be the best day of my life but I'm gonna have two hours I'm not talking to anybody on the way down - to Miami and people are the line is like thinning out I look back they're Tuesday - so everyone's like it at the window and there's like 20 open seats and there's like four people left I don't like there's no chance that I don't end up in my own seat so I was sitting there and finally it's over might just shut the door shut the door shut the throat my tongue I'm leaving like just close the cabin door close the cabin door cuz then I'm good and ashes about the close to the cabin door I look up and one more passenger gets on the plane this guy is central casting for like the uncle that you have at Thanksgiving that you love like crazy because he says everything that he shouldn't say and he's like the party but like the life of the party and it's like it's central casting he comes in if you can picture a guy maybe like mid seventies white head of hair full velour jumpsuit you know one bucking you're in full velour like there's no middle ground look either like you're killing it or like you just forgot to take your meds like he'd be like you broke out of the asylum or like you're on the Forbes 500 like there's no middle in full velour and he's like one of those older guys that like didn't remember that the world has evolved you know like they make inappropriate comments to people all the time like the path like the stewardess is like hi sir how was your day and he's like better than I saw you babe and if you can think of like the bubbles she's thinking like oh my god he's thinking like I just nailed it like you know that guy who's like totally out of touch I look at the guy I'm thinking oh god please not next to me not next to me it's 6 o'clock in the morning like this 20 open seats oh I mean how much can I ask well have no more questions I won't question anything like why the Holocaust happened why this happened I'll have nothing left I pray I'm begging you you got like you Joe give me like where you get your material from like are you kidding so he starts walking through the aisle and he says going through and I'm like sitting in like Row 18 and he's like 15 16 17 18 19 20 I'm like oh thank you God and I kid you not he's looking row 23 and he stops and he goes hey you know where I wrote 18 is I'm thinking like it's in numerical order and they like this way and he says walking up and of course turns around and he gives me that like corny like I guess we're neighbors I guess we are sits down next to me he's like so where you headed I'm like uh Miami where it says in the ticket he's like yeah me too I'm like yeah I sort of figure and he's like alright so and you're like me you sit down at somebody like there's like you get two rounds like hi how are you weather and that's it like I don't know you're not we'll never see each other again like there's two rounds of conversation and then unless something happens you can talk about this guy's in Vellore you think he's got Roundtree's he's got no boundaries where you going what are you doing there how's it going how how many kids do you have him on oh you're like weekend at Bernie's like are you serious so he's going and going and going and final like he slows down and I feel like uncomfortable he's asking like 50 questions I turned to him and I say so where are you going because I'm going down to a conference I said a conference for what he said a conference for coaches like that enough I'm like for what goes for coaches I'm like like sports coaches he's like yeah I see Roberto Bella I'm sorry but you heard this one already I'm like your your sports coach he's like yeah I coach basketball I'm like you cook what what division division eight he's like now Division one I'm like you coach b1 best was like he called a school that like I've never heard of that probably makes it to the tournament once every 15 years back in the days we had tournaments yes yeah I'm a coach I'm like you're a Division one college basketball coach he's like yeah I'm like oh brother you ended up in the wrong see like you better order some alcohol with the iron trees that comes by right now I thought we start talking he's like trying to force him I know and he's like the college baseball coach so those those who are like college basket and that are over the age of like 35 like their days were like Christian Laettner and the Fab five and like when you and Alvey had a school like insane time and I'm asking him play it was the greatest two hours of my life so we're halfway through the conversation and he says to me I got a kid who I think can make it I said really yeah it goes very rarely do I get a kid that comes into my program that can make it all the way I said how do you know he goes because he mastered the hardest move I'm like the what it was the hardest move in basketball he mastered it I'm like the hardest move he's like yeah what do you think the hardest move is I play bass school in high school so I said that's easy the fadeaway jump shot those who haven't played basketball most of your shot is in your legs and when you're fading away you don't get your legs so it's almost it's a heart cuz I'll please what do you know Mike okay tough guy what's the hardest move basketball cuz the hardest move in basketball by far is not to fade away it's not boxing anybody out its the crossover because you see a kid that comes on your program that can cross over for those who aren't familiar with the game when you're playing against somebody you're dribbling the crossovers when you fake going one way and the defender goes with you and you go the other way and you leave the defender in his tracks it's in a lot of sports but not like basketball goes yeah he goes when I see a kid that can come into my program that can do a crossover I know he's got a chance I said why is the crossover the hardest move of the game and then we spend the next half an hour talking about it and that's why I wanted to talk to you today a little bit about the crossover why is the crossover the hardest move in a game the hardest move in life and exactly in my opinion what the beginning of Shabbat is really all about so just stick with me for just a few minutes we got to go a little bit into the world of science one of the greatest mistakes we make in our lives is misunderstanding our resources I was on a podcast today about people that are going through economic challenges and they think that all they had is the job they had yesterday they don't understand their resources they don't know what's out there if you have something you miss use it this is the world that we live in most people do not achieve greatness in life not because they're not smart enough not because they can't access enough resources not because they know enough money none of those things most people do not achieve greatness in life because they don't know how to access their resources they don't know how to ask questions to people in their world that can help them they don't know how to say I don't know they don't know how to dig into their own capacity and pull out strength and courage that was in there from the beginning there's a great nurse named Bonnie where I wrote a book she's a end-of-life nurse insured a book about the regrets that she hears some people that were at the end of their lives and one of the top regrets she mentioned was people at the end of their lives start to realize how much more they could have become just with what they had if you're young and you're listening to this understand that what you have is whatever you think you have in life ten exit it's so much more your parents love you much more than you think you're smarter than you think you've more courage than you think don't whatever divisions you have for yourself add a 10x cuz most people don't achieve in life not because they should reach them failed they don't you because they don't set goals that are far enough because they're so scared of failure one of the greatest things we have in our lives is our brain it's one of the there's nothing we're gonna it's it's an incredible gift given and you've since then how it works we're no time for it now or a book about it but one of the greatest limitations about the brain that the brain in order to keep us functional is inherently watch and say inherently the brain is actively limiting when me and you walk around this world around the world at least back when we're able to walk around allow round this world is thousands and thousands and thousands a bit of stimuli coming at us all the time you walk down the street stimuli everywhere sounds noises cars everything you walk into a room people are talking things are moving this air conditioned going you're coming even if you walk into your your kitchen someone's walking in the corner there's a phone ringing this one with the sink everywhere you go in life there there are so much stimuli that if we would take it all in we would melt if anyone here knows of someone that has sensory processing disorder you understand how this works he's a regular looking kid the tics in too much stimuli into his brain at once me and you walk into a supermarket and we can walk in and we know we got to find things off our list our brain it just for a second stick with me just I want you to get this two aisles down someone's got a squeaky wheel on his cart that sound the squeak came into your ear process into your brain and your brain automatically said not relevant not dangerous don't even put it into your conscious mind it can and your brain filtered it out it's the most incredible thing because if you will consume market and you'd hear the squeaky wheel and the woman who was reaching for the cereal box and it fell and the passive-aggressive husband on aisle nine telling his wife there is no oregano oh here it is I'll be home in 15 minutes you throw all of that at the same time you couldn't get any of your list you're just melt and the kid next to his mom who's having a temper tantrum it could be you just taking in too much stimuli our brain to keep us functional it filters most of life out you're looking to a party welcome to a bar mitzvah most of its filtered right out you walked out you're driving a car you don't you don't pay attention to the cars floating by you but if one car starts swerving Lola son you remember that why because your brain is so powerful it filters out all the stuff that's not relevant or that's not dangerous and it allows you to take your attention and survive so if you keep you in me and you functional our brain has a window for those who have heard this before I apologize I use this word a lot it's called a schema and the window if you could just picture just for a few minutes picture a window in front of your conscious mind and it gives you about a hundred and ten to 126 bits of information per second that's all you get so just for just to round it off imagine as if you have a window and you only allow in a hundred bits of information per second Anjali you have a hundred units of attention every single moment that's it you can't have any more cuz if you have more it would flood the system so me and you walk around and what we really have is a limited window of attention every second of every day now watch how this works one of the greatest pathways to mediocrity if you want to be mediocre in life I'm gonna give you the greatest thing you should do this is guaranteed to work you ready if you want to be mediocre your whole life all you have to do is spend most of your day multitasking multitasking is the surest path to mediocrity why because if you only have a hundred bits of attention every second you'll it's all yacht you choose do you take a hundred and put it into one thing or do you take a hundred and put into five things so if I've got a limited amount of attention I'm talking to somebody and all I have is that person I'm picking up what they're saying I'm picking up what they're thinking I'm picking up the nuance of their wines I'm picking up that little smirk I'm picking up all these things I got a hundred I got a hundred units of attention on one person oh it's not I'm more attentive they I get stuff they say something but I it doesn't sound like it and that person walks when goes I don't know I feel different and now you have a relationship with somebody but if I'm talking to you and I'm thinking about ten things and I got my phone in one hand I'm not really checking I can't send I can't really put too much attention to my phone I don't have too much attention in you and I can't solve my problems in the future so basically our conversation was mediocre my scrolling is mediocre and my future isn't even programmed for so I'm guaranteed to take that same amount of attention and split it up and never be good at it that's why if you ever been on the phone and been writing an email you'll see that the email stinks and the phone call you basically distracted you're waiting for like the peak of like the question you know like you're not even paying attention then I was in here and you're like whoa that's a question so we say that again oh yes because you know you're not in the conversation you know I'm the email you know we're because of a bunch of like Ari Gold highlight films we sort of think that like multitaskers are the ones that are dominating the world they're not they're just running around in circles if you really study the lives of great people like really study their lives you'll find that the people that have accomplished the most in his life spend very little time multitasking how do they accomplish so much so here's one of the greatest things I've learned in my life well I should say here's one of the greatest learning the past few years it has shifted and changed me in so many ways that I hope if you take nothing out of today this you take this and put this in your pocket that the great people they don't multitask you know what they do they switch tasks everything they do they're all in there talking to somebody they're all in and then in a second in one second they're done talking they switch right into an email and they write that email but they're all into that one email and then a second they want to go on Instagram and they're all in lost in Instagram and then in a second they have to read something all they're great people what they're doing is they're taking a hundred units of attention and they're going like this and everywhere they are they bring all of themselves that's the secret it's not all at the same time it's all of you like this but here's what it takes it takes this trust in the world in yourself that when you leave something it'll be okay I don't got to be accessible 24 us the world's not gonna fall apart if I can't answer it right now if I leave everything else and focus everything I'm doing for 2 5 10 20 minutes I got a trust that it'll be there when I get back and I also got a trust that I can not only do this task but when I'm done on a dime I can go right back to this next task you know what this is called in life a crossover you know why crossovers are so hard because basket players know they want to go right but in order to sell the crossover you have to fake going left with every single fiber of your being you can't go and go right the guy that's like what are you doing dancing in front of me you got it you gotta look left talk left think left your body's got them and then you got a trust then on a dime you can switch and be totally right it's hard requires faith in you Natta go one place fully and faith you got to go another place fully and most people don't have that faith if they see right they're already going right but what if I but what if I'd what if I uh I can i how could I have connected but I gotta be I got a game even as I'm even if as I'm speaking some people are right now going like I I got it I got I got I gotta get something on my hands I got a look at something I do some I gotta because we're so focused on multitasking that we don't even know what it feels like sometimes to be fully somewhere so our brain can't be somewhere there buddy with me just give me some nods found okay now let me just close out I got like five more minutes just close me out here stick with me a little bit longer you know what else is great about our brain that the rabbi features that our brain is the window to our soul there's two worlds that we're living in at every single moment there's the world of the physical the material then is the world of the spiritual spirituals of real world if you've ever once in your life ever prayed you understand the spiritual world because why would one pray why would you say a bunch of words or and expect that the material world shifts because of your words because we intuitively know that there is a physical world and then there's like a world that is within that physical world a deeper world our life is living in two planes and for some people that don't think about it they don't appreciate that we each of us live in two planes we have a body but we also have a soul that means if your eyes are open right now the reason why your eyes are open it's not just because your parts fit together and someone put prayer and put the on button the reason why it's open is because what's inside you is a piece of the Creator somehow we took God and placed him in the heavens I don't what that is like he's in the sky I don't know when we put him in the sky but we put him in the sky a Samira's God that everyone looks up I'm like where's up God's not up you know God is he's in in every thing is intelligent energy spiritual energy that is a peace not God himself it is a ray of the divine and that means that me and you have it in us I don't care if you connected you're not connected I don't care what you think of your Judaism if your eyes are open you've got more spirituality inside you then don't ever need your entire life you never have to become spiritual ever you reveal spiritual you know how we know God because it's he's we have a piece of him there's a world around us that is material on the outside and is spiritual on the inside but for us to access depth we got to go past the physical when you get married with God's help for those who are married when you get married you will see that you can have a relationship with a woman or a man and you can live the entire lives and all you see is a body that lives with you the body shares the responsibilities and there are some couples that see each other deeper they go within the body there's a deeper connection and they're not just two bodies living in the same house they're interconnected souls when you have children you're gonna see that those kids did you give birth to they're not just humans in your house you don't just jump in front of your kids for no reason any parent will probably jump in front of their train for their children's why because there's something deeper about the relationship between a parent and a child the depth is what makes life so much more exciting when life is just surface we have to consume so much to keep us distracted because surface consumption is so limiting deep consumption is so satisfying you can sit on a couch with your loved one for five hours and come out satisfied and God says I am trying my hardest to give you an incredible life but here's the deal give me two more minutes I'm closing like prepare for the initial descent I gotta make you material God says his spirituality is in you we don't got to become spiritual the spiritual is everywhere in your life is spiritual your job can be spiritual your friends can be spiritual your relationship to yourself everything around can be deep spiritual is the elevation of physical you can have a life that is so deep that it fills you up it's rich but the problem is I gotta make you material you gotta rock this world so I'm putting you in this world and I want you to build it I want you to run I want I want I want big buildings and airplanes and hospitals and and I want vaccines like go do your thing go build structures of fairness go go play sports go build with me six days a week I need you to run and build and do but here's what happens as soon as you get into something you think that's who you are never watch a movie and somebody dies in the movie and you're crying and you look back and you realize that the guy who died actually won an Oscar for dying like he's he made fifty million dollars because he dies better than anybody in the world he's the best Dyer in the world nobody dies better than this guy he's like seven tabloids and you're crying and this guy's living in a mansion in a pool why are you crying for he's alive because when you get in it in life you get lost in life remember March Madness you ever do this you ever like randomly pick teams in March Madness like you don't even really know what Gonzaga is you know you don't know anyone went to Eastern Michigan but you pick them to be your sleeper and then like two rounds in you're screaming at the screen you're like are you kidding me that's not a foul and it was like do you even know who you're going for is like randomly two weeks ago you picked the team and I like you love them it's because as soon as you get into the weeds your brain stays in the weeds it's how it keeps you alive now watch how this works and then I'm done six days a week you got to be physical so you know ends up happening to most people you look in the mirror and all they see is physical all they see is material there's glimmers of depth the world isn't deep the world is in spiritual they can't because all they see is what they do they start to think that who they are is what they do you ever speak to somebody and you go what's your name what's the next question we ask them what's your name what's an accession we ask them what do you do why does it even matter for and then we don't ask any more questions you ever notice that what that's it what do you do oh oh what do you do Oh where'd you go to school ah where did you go to school any more questions about who they are why do I need what you do is where you are because we're living in it and goggles I created a world you know why because I want you to go deeper I want you to go deeper I want you to not be material I want you to be material but I want you to feel spiritual in there I want you relationships beep want your families to be deeper spiritual I want the way you eat to be deep I want the way you work to be I want the way you think to be deep I want you to see yourself not as what you do I want you to see yourself as who you are you're a source that is bigger than what you do you're a piece of me God says you know who you are you're a piece of me you're an energy source that can overcome anything nothing can take you down but how are you gonna find that how do you gonna live that how you're gonna words that gonna come from I got to work six days I got to build a world gaaah goes here's what we're gonna do we're gonna build the world for six days yet then I'm gonna ask your question can you cross over can you move all that attention from doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo - BBB BBB BBB can you go from what you do to who you are can you stop doing for a day just stop doing I'm gonna shut it down for one reason not so that you spend family time that's great family time is the manifestation of life why don't all got to do we don't get a do for a few minutes for a few hours for a day you know ends up happening in the beginning you're like I got I got I got I got I got I got to tell you I run a company when I put my phone down on Friday I'm like I got it but I got it but I got it but I got it but I got it and you enter into this world where you get to just be who you are you get to go deeper you get to talk to the person across me not because you're coordinating schedules but because you're two souls bound together and matrimony to look at your children not because you're trying to raise them to support themselves which is wonderful or raise them to become great people which is wonderful you have to look them just because they're yours and you're theirs and they're the gifts that were given to you to become the greatest people they can be you get to look at your friend you look at yourself you get to have a moment to breathe but it requires the hardest move in life the crossover that's the question crossing out of the world of do out of the world of material into the world of being my blessing to every single one of you whether whatever you're doing two minutes ten minutes whatever it is whatever little Shabbat you have if you shut the world down just for those few moments on the day where God says I created the place trust me I know you think if you can't do it the world's gonna fall apart I got this you're cool I got you it's vacay I run the place whatever few minutes that you have that's truly Shabbat those are the moments where your brain crosses from doing to being and it's those moments that you can like breathe it's in those moments with a world and a way like slows down on a drop we're living in like a little bit of a Shabbat in this whole new virus world it's slowing down a drop it's in those moments where you see things you haven't seen you hear things you haven't heard you connect in a way you haven't connected you think about your life and it's these moments where what's really happening is you're just digging into a deeper place I bless into this awesome crowd who I appreciate you guys being on and I get a chance to look around at this awesome room here is that you get a feel into that all of us we got a feeling of the taste a life where our soul leads the way in the life where who we are is not what we do a life where we can cross over and then cross right back Saturday night and it all buzz up again and hopefully we can live lives that are not just physical they should be bigger than physical there should be spiritual because spirituals the elevation of physical you live a place of greatness - now I'm gonna send you guys a link every morning I do a show called the daily boost listen he has a link if you wanted this morning we spoke about this one concept about how every single one of us are given two choices in life to survive but to thrive their Forks in the road should never settle on surviving we got to push to thrive push to grow push to find the deeper place in each and every one of us I'll drop the link on the chat if you guys want to join which you guys are shabbat shalom wherever you are in the world I hope and pray that we feel that we're all one we're all together and I hope we get a chance one day maybe live to see you guys in some country somewhere with some rockin hola me Jam party with all that goes on over there and wherever you are remember you never alone we're all together or one nation push to be the best you can be I mean everything that we do be done with the right way and give us a life that is not good a great but a life that is awesome thanks for listening guys really appreciate wow thank you so much amazing amazing inspirational words thank you mr. Hari okay so now we are onto the last leg of this program for tonight so we're gonna do something called breakout rooms um hopefully we'll have a slide share here in just a moment here but basically what's gonna happen in this breakout room is you're gonna be moved from where you are now to smaller groups and basically it's gonna be random and everyone is having some ice cream you got it yeah it's gonna be randomly out and you're gonna be put with people from around the country all different places smaller groups get to know each other and it's gonna be for 15 minutes so in 15 minutes we're gonna get back here and wrap up and say goodbye and all that just a little suggestion that just as a way to get the conversation started you can let the person who's first name alphabetically is first so the Allens errands and Abbey's of the world or whatever other names you guys have we'll probably end up leading to start the room it's not a necessity just a recommendation and you could talk about anything get to know each other just mr. Hari I started with a great story about him on an airplane so maybe that's a good discussion question you guys don't know what to talk about everybody has one good airplane story and now I'm going to take you to the breakout rooms in three seconds you