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Rabbi Shlomo Farhi's address at the Olami Impact Leaders Forum
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ladies and gentlemen esteemed guests
organized as all the rabbis all the
people who made this happen I want to
ask I want to ask all of you if I could
have a little bit of the reward that
you're going to have in heaven for
putting these events on it is such a
special thing that you were doing here
for young people and although I don't do
this anymore at all I'm chained to the
desk of my new synagogue
I made the exception for this and I
think that is how I would open with you
today the theme today has been about
clarity and I want to give you an
example of what that means about what
clarity means last year I stood or two
years ago actually I stood at the
Birmingham or Lemmy summit and I told I
don't know how many thousand eight
hundred people I don't even know how
many it was
I told an ocean of students and young
professionals just like yourself about
how my house was broken into and you
know these all of me programs they
really have an impact people really
listen to the speakers and they
implement whatever they hear into their
lives so I'm no different either the
same so right before I came on this trip
I broke into my own house
I'm not joking unfortunately it was a
miscommunication between me and my wife
she had to take one of my children to
the doctor's to a doctor's appointment I
get home and my house is locked my
passport all my stuff my notes my books
everything is inside and it's getting
later and later and later I'm supposed
to leave it two o'clock I call the the
our housekeeper who's now with my
daughter and I say she only speaks
Spanish and I say I really need to go
aeropuerto I think you know that's how
Americans like fake Spanish you know
milk Oh cereal oh pronto you we don't
know we're doing right so I'm trying my
best
I said I need you to come home now I'm
not in the house she says I'm in the
work with your daughter with rifka she
doesn't want to leave Rivka's three
it's like I really need to go aeropuerto
missile play know she probably googled
it he says why is he talking about Texas
either way so I'm sitting there and I'm
waiting for her to come back five
minutes go by ten minutes go by twenty
minutes that's how long did you take for
her to get back from Central Park so I
call her up again I'm like Marta where
are you and I can hear children playing
in the background
she says Oh in the park
rifki still no leave I was like what she
makes her way back and as she gets to
the front with the carriage I was like
thank you so much it's now a half hour
late after I'm supposed to leave I said
give me the key she says I don't have
key this worries me by the way
I knocked in the name of my next-door
neighbor's house she's an old lovely
grandma and I said mrs. Aneeta something
right don't judge me this is New York
City if you know your neighbors you're
weird and stalkerish it's a long name
its various canals with lots of
consonants you know if it was Safari
like Rama I would bow me but I kept
olace caged in a like that right I
wasn't sure I said hey do you remember
me we almost never see each other either
the next oh she looks at me she's like
yeah yeah like you're my neighbor I was
like okay I need to go to the back of
your house
so I could climb over your fence and get
into this person's house she says sure
that worried me by the way
like a minute ago you were immature who
I was they got me a ladder I climbed
over the ladder I sat there with a wire
hanger which every boy yeshiva knows is
the key to all problems
there's the wire hanger and I managed to
pry the door open and sit there for
about 40 minutes until I finally got the
door open and now it's one hour before
my flight I get there I'm so nervous I
get on the plane there's no kosher food
I arrive I don't sleep a wink I have one
of those guys you know who keeps
into the elbow game in that game you
knock it off and then you pretend you're
sleeping you've all done it don't look
at me that way I didn't sleep a wink I
got here that no kosher food on the
plane like I but I also had didn't have
kosher wine to distract myself from the
fact mr. word ago right I get here and
I'm figured I'll go take a nap but the
room is not ready I go into the room and
I can't sleep
you know why because I'm so excited and
pumped to be here even though it's one
of those days that my friends that is
clarity clarity is when you love
something so much when it means so much
to you that you're going to be able to
go do this when it's so important to you
that nothing stands in your way
nothing dampens your mood because this
is what you need to be doing I want to
talk about that kind of clarity and how
does that happen how do you become the
type of person that has that kind of
clarity in your own life I want to share
with you a fascinating idea to me
I hope it's fascinating to you as well
every single one of us in this room
wants to live a good life we want it to
be just a little bit like you know kind
of off so that we can complain because
otherwise really what is life about but
we weren't like we want we want it
generally to have blessings and the
Torah tells us in this week's parasha
describes that if a person wants all the
blessings of the Torah what do they need
to do and I'm going to quote you in
Hebrew but I'll say it in English as
well in Baku quote I tell a hope you
follow in my rules and my statutes if
you follow in my statutes if you learn
my Torah Bat Mitzvah eightish morrow you
keep my Metroid but I see time Oh time
and you do them the Torah gives us
unbelievable blessings that are gonna
come our way it's gonna rain in the
right time not only is it gonna grow the
trees which are the consistent things
that give you benefit and para nós at in
your life livelihood but even the stuff
that grows from the ground the new
ventures the stuff that you need to
plant newly each year this is going to
go good you can have many children
there's not going to be war in your
length one bless
after the next it's like a blessing
train but then it ends and it says an
interesting line it says we hit a lefty
Batak of him and I will walk amongst you
the IET like am i lucky man I will be
for you as a god I will be your God that
attempt to you Lee lamb and you will be
for me as my people as my nation um
Israel ladies and gentlemen
I'm fascinated with texts both English
Hebrew I used to learn to make do you
keen to judge to figure something out
from something that something says in
brisk that's the type of learning that
they love if it said it like this but it
could have said it like that if it could
have used two words and it used three
words so it's I'm a Didact in that way
and I noticed that this little line here
at the end was kind of what I call and
what is called a hanging modifier does
anyone didn't know what a hanging
modifier is the lights are in my face I
can't see if anyone's right I'm hoping
some of you were as geeky as me and
there's people that I have their hands
up but if not I'll die alone okay let me
give you an example of a hanging
modifier a young man gets married his
wife says to him we need to go to my
parents for Shabbat they go for Shabbat
they get back the young bride turns to
her husband and says so honey how did
you enjoy going to ship out to my
parents and he says well I got to drive
my new car down to your parents house
for Shabbat and I loved it that's a
hanging modifier and that's a smart
husband because you don't know if he
means he loved driving his new car or if
he enjoyed spending Shabbat with his
mother-in-law that's a hanging modifier
it's it's at the end of a sentence it
could be going on one or on the other
this last verse at the end of all of the
blessings God says I'm gonna walk with
you I'm gonna be with you
they eat the like a little Kim I'll be
your God
they attend to you Leela I mean you will
be for me as my nation is that part of
the list
blessings or is that the price you pay
for a new blessing and I want to talk a
little bit about what this means
there are two times when we find this
idea Joseph has the worst life if you
think about it he's a young man he has
dreams but his brothers don't understand
his dreams they don't understand they
don't get him
they sell him into slavery he goes down
he's suspected of all sorts of things
but in the house of his master it says
and God was with Joseph via he and he
was ich mats Lea he was a successful man
that's a much bigger blessing than any
of the ones that we read about yet all
the other ones are limited reign this
kind of blessing that kind of blessing
but a person who is a successful person
anything they do touches to go turns to
gold
it's the Midas touch how does one get
the blessing of God being with you then
it says by Joseph and by King David that
God was with them and they were
successful in everything that they did
how do I become successful in everything
that I do there's one requirement to be
God's people what does that mean how are
we guard people how do we achieve this
blessing and I want to teach this idea
to you so you could take it home
implemented in your lives and teach it
to others because I think that this is
such a beautiful and powerful idea the
Mishnah teaches us Rebbe
Amer Rebbe asked a question and even if
all we had was the question without the
answer this would have been a worthwhile
exercise because it's a piercing
question Rebbe said s do we dedicate our
what is the straight way the correct way
she evaldo hadam that a person should
choose in their life now pay attention
Rebbe didn't ask what should I do
Rebbe asked which path should I be on
his question is what should I be
look now again at those verses that I
sent you in the beginning all those
blessings happen if you always resort
ICT motown and you will do them if you
do them you get specific blessings but
if you are my people who attempt to you
Lee if you will be my nation it's a
difference between doing good and being
good let me explain what this idea of
being means so much of what we do
depends on our state of mind I want you
to imagine that someone tells you you go
on to this the website you hear about an
apartment you go on this website and you
check out this apartment and you see it
this probably happened to some of you
this apartment looks beautiful nice
furniture nice things now I've heard of
a term called catfished in online dating
but you can be catfished by an apartment
to bait and switch now you might think
okay maybe the maybe the the furnitures
not included I get that so I went this
past week to look at a house in deal for
the summer where they want me to go
teach during the summer and they told me
you know what go to this house I look
online it's amazing beautiful furniture
beautiful lie everything's amazing and
they said there was a little fire I by
the way I should have realized right
then right there's a little fire a
couple of the rooms are not done you
know we need you to you go check it out
they're fixing the rooms they'll be done
by the time you get in don't worry but
just go see if you like it it'll be done
in time I get to the house I'm such a
muffin I get to the house I walk in
there are no walls
I don't mean that they weren't painted
there were no walls there was no
furniture
there was no walls it was just like
little bits of wood and then like that
you know this stuffing and underneath it
you know the kind of asbestos II stuff
that kills you you know that stuff right
and then there's another thing of wood
and and there's on the floor there's a
stack of sheetrock anyway I look around
the house none of the rooms F walls I
still remember the hoods above this real
estate agent she says to me yesterday
she has her bag on her and you know she
goes so what do you think of the house I
said I'd love to give you an opinion I
haven't seen it yet she goes this is the
kitchen this is the living room I was
like how can you tell
so you know what when someone tells you
now I'm in the state of mind that if
someone says that there's a real estate
agent who's gonna show me your place do
you know the state of mind I'm in now
I'm sure now I've learned my lesson I'd
like to show you an apartment
does it have walls so are the floors it
included you know I see here in this
contract I'm not sure what this is over
here would you mind telling me what this
is that's my name now you're looking at
everything you're so suspicious the
state of mind that you're in dictates
the way that you act so review who the
Rebbe is asking how should we be if you
could choose one thing to be as a Jew
what would you be what a fascinating
question even without the answer the
answer that the Mishnah gives is amazing
I'm gonna give you one interpretation
the answer the Mishnah gives is called
she/he to edit little Sarah anything
which is great is glory is amazing for
you the one that does it
vt ferret La Mina Adam and his glory is
an amazing thing for all the other
people in the world that's the road
that's how you be the commentators
explained that what reviewed I was
saying is is it good for you does it
light your fire
are you excited is it also good for
everybody else that's how you choose
balance equilibrium the Torah asks of us
to be balanced people it doesn't tell
you that you can't enjoy good food or
wine in fact the Talmud teaches us that
when someone swears that they're going
to be an Azir and they're not gonna have
any wine he has to bring a sacrifice at
the end because he's called a sinner
because he deprived himself of something
beautiful that the world has to offer so
much so that it says in the Talmud Jew
in the Jerusalem Talmud that we're gonna
go to Evan and God's gonna say how come
you didn't see my Alps how come you
didn't taste this food how come you
didn't visit this place I put it there
for you it's like the Jewish grandma who
sends their son for Hanukkah to amazing
ties for the 1940s you know they're so
wide does like straps to kind of tie in
the back it's kind of not so much tie as
apron anyway the guy goes to his
grandma's house he figures out where one
of the times make grandma happy he walks
in and grandma says Vlad the other one
you didn't like ham because they love
you
God says I gave you so much didn't you
enjoy the Torah I wants you to enjoy
life but it also doesn't want you to be
beholden to it the Torah doesn't ask you
to fast except for one day a year the
Torah says give our money but the Torah
also says be frugal don't waste the
Torah says give just sadaqa/charity
but not more than 20% so you don't
become needy yourself balance in a world
that has gone crazy
that is so extreme weather in politics
or in anything that there's a
polarization of people getting to talk
to each other the Torah seeks
balance where we can be passionate about
something something should be good for
me
excite me light my fire but also be good
for all those around me I want to tell
you for me I have a passion probably my
biggest passion in the world is the
Jewish people and how they are seen I'm
thinking about it all the time probably
because of my job but I'll tell you my
highest and lowest moment that both
happened in the same place I was coming
back from you Shiva dressed like a
yeshiva boy you know the jacket had the
black suit that's it see out and as I
won't get to the airport I need to go to
the bathroom there's a long line outside
of the bathroom maybe 10 15 people deep
wait my turn finally get into the
bathroom finish your business and I'm
about to walk out and my heart sank
because I saw that whoever had been
there before me had not at any point in
time decided to aim on the floor on the
wall and please excuse my I'm just
sharing with you this is a painful
moment for me I'm not it's everywhere
and you know what my heart sank because
I knew that the next person who walked
it will be like stinking filthy Jews so
I made probably the largest ball of
toilet paper that has ever been
assembled in the history of man
you're clapping you're clapping I still
get hate mail from the Amazon this big
I'm cleaning the floors the wall to see
it was so clean the bedroom has never
been that clean I'm about to walk out by
the way you know what I felt like doing
I thought you know that sheet on the
wall that says this guy has cleaned that
at 12:22
I was gonna write slo-mo fari 1:27 I'm
passionate about the way people think of
look at Jews especially with a keep on
my head because I know that people are
always saying God's people these are
God's people these are God's people
these are the Jews they stand for
something when you hear someone when I
hear someone talking about Israel I
can't help myself
even if I know won't help I need to
stand up for her I need to stand up for
my people from my brothers from my
sisters when it's an article that comes
out and people say in the synagogue ah
another religious Jew look at what he
did I said you know what do you get the
ham oh dear no you only get the New York
Times and you're trying to formulate an
opinion about the Jewish people from the
New York Times the paper that put out an
anti-semitic cartoon and then in the
middle of the week
apologized read just in order that they
could then print another one in the same
week get the ahmadiya
find out what Saul were dagger does for
the Jews or what Ralph hurts give us
with the Jews or Aaron Wolfson does for
the Jews or when le horn does for the
Jews
[Applause]
but ladies and gentlemen that is my
passion that is what I go crazy about
that for me is everything it might not
be yours and sometimes when we go to a
speech or to an event like this and we
get excited it's important to remember
that our greatest errors sometimes is
experiencing that which is around us and
thinking that it is in us my thing might
not be your thing but even though that's
true you also have something Rebbe
Nachman of breslav is quoted as saying
that the day that you were born is the
day that God decided that the world
could not exist without you now for me
that was for one day in an airport at
1:27 but for you it might be something
more important what is your thing which
part of the beautiful tapestry of Jewish
values of Jewish continuity of Jewish
heritage of Jewish identity which bit
lights your fire what is it that you
want to stand up for and make a stand
you know there was once a man whose name
was Rabbi Hahn and Wasserman
unbelievable man he was the Rosh Yeshiva
they had to be yeshiva in a yeshiva
called mironovich this man was like
Superman he was here in America during
the war and during the war everyone said
to him Wow thank God rabbi you're here
in America you've been saved
he said saved you think I'm letting my
boys face the Nazis without their rabbi
and he went back and he died and the
final moments we have eyewitnesses where
he told the Jewish students he said we
are the best of the best
we've been selected to be the sacrifice
for all the Jewish people let's not go
bitterly let's go with joy let's go with
pride and he walked out to the Nazis and
said shoot
you hear that so he's in America and he
gets a little message from someone it
wasn't a text that hadn't been invented
they had life back then oh this text
messaging yeah so relevant for 20 years
ago most everything against the snail
mail
okay he gets a message saying that
there's a man whose name is Goldstein in
the garment district he used to be a
student study partner of yours and the
yeshiva was one of the people who was
gonna be a great Jewish scholar and a
great Jewish leader just like you came
to America Shabbat was so difficult he
got fired every week because he tried to
keep Shabbat until eventually it was too
tough and he dropped the ball he now has
a massive coat factory in Manhattan and
he's making loads of money but he has no
connection to his Judaism at all maybe
you could visit him maybe you could
light the spark rabbi Wasserman says of
course he goes down and he waits for an
appointment one day from the beginning
until 5 o'clock closing that made the
Secretary says I'm sorry can't see you
the second day again he's waiting for
the appointment till closing the third
day it's the last day he's in America he
says please tell mr. Goldstein that his
have Ruta his study partner Elenin
Wasserman would like to see him it's not
ten seconds before Goldstein is running
into the room tears streaming down his
face throwing his arms around his old
friend not knowing he's going back and
he says what do I owe this great honor
to one of the Great's of the Jewish
people comes to visit me in my office
and Rabbi wasum and says you know I
remember that we were friends once and
if you look at my coat the rabbi coat is
called the capita he says if you look at
my capita I have three buttonholes and
two buttons and that's not how it's
supposed to be Goldstein says okay he
says I thought maybe because you have a
CO Factory maybe if I came to you in New
York you could sew a button on my capita
Goldstein says are you mad you came here
from Europe
it's like thousands of miles you came
from Europe to sew a button on your coat
he says yeah you know you with the coat
factory at all
I figured you'd give me a good discount
I think he believed it then he said she
must be joking he says no I'm serious
he says rabbits stop this game you must
be here for something else
it can't be that you would travel so far
and go through so much just to show a
bun on a coat and have a hunt on his
eyes fill with tears and he grabs his
friend who's lost his way with both of
his arms and a giant of a man he shakes
him and he says I wish you could hear
your own words you also did not come all
this way from heaven to earth from
Europe to hear from your Shiva the way
you are today just sew buttons on coats
there must be something more that you
were made to do what is it cuz it can't
be buns generations collapsed in front
of rubble Conan's eyes and the two men
hugged and Rob Mahone and said why don't
we learn a page of Gemara together and
they sit down and learn and Goldstein
finds his way home I hope that that is
true about all of us now we can seek and
figure out the reason why are you put
here in this place in this time in
history why what is special about you
what is unique about you what can you do
for the cause and I'll tell you once
you've got that clarity you know what
it's like you have to hear it's like you
know I know I'm going to help rubble die
I don't think many rabbis okay I know
I'm going to hell
largely because of restaurants
I have this thing I call the waiter over
and I say so what's good on the menu
girls do that what would you like to
order sir why don't you tell me what's
good well what do you like I like
everything why don't you try the
branzino man beautiful fish
you must have that annoying friend I
would be that annoying friend if we were
friends how about pasta a little heavy
eventually the guy says if you don't
want it why don't you just tell me you
know what the answer is I'm waiting to
hear the thing that I know that I like
because when I hear it I don't know
you cannot play you a part for the
Jewish people unless you know what being
part of the Jewish people is about
unless you study the words that have
been handed down for generations words
that our rabbis our teachers our fathers
and mothers gave their lives to protect
studied in basements gave over in this
country they lit candles behind curtains
there was a young man I met in London
whose last name is confit no I said
that's such an interesting name is it
Italian it sounds like a pastry doesn't
it I'll have to confine OHS extra
custard I felt really stupid when he
told me what it meant he said in Spain
the Jews were called either conversos
the ones that converted or confined all
the ones that ran the ones that left to
protect their faith that was his last
name you know if your name is Schneider
chances are and you dish that means that
someone was a tailor and your family if
your name is Schneider someone was a
tailor if your family name is convenor
the runners my father ran away from
Syria so that he could be a Jew proudly
in the streets he escaped risking his
life to get to Israel my mother grew up
without knowing anything in South Bend
Indiana
she was a runner she came to Israel to
Mack on gold became a registered nurse
and learned about what it was to be part
of the Jewish people and Jew
history we are all the children of
runners and now we have it on our plate
let's listen to the menu and pick out
the thing that really speaks to us and
then take one step this morning and I'll
end with this I was walking through the
airport and I saw that there were two
escalators and everyone was going down
one of them give us see that it's like
when there's two lines at security and
the guys like you could go in that line
it was like no no you know and then
suddenly one guy goes in him was like
how come no one was going down the other
escalator because the other escalator
wasn't escalating was it moving so
everyone's going down the escalator and
then I woke up to the other desk later I
stand on it just to be different and the
second I put my foot on it what happened
it escalated so many times we're afraid
of taking the first step because you
don't know how we're gonna get all the
way to the finish line but once you take
the first step
Hashem says you're being my people
you're being people that stand up for
what I want what I need from my children
in this world I'll help you trust that
that will happen you know some people
are really afraid that if they try and
do something or create a program maybe
it won't be good and I'll leave you as I
said with the words of Steven Schiff who
spoke about CPR and he said the funny
thing about CPR is that CPR doesn't have
to be perfect to be life-saving
some bystanders they feel squeamish
they're not sure if they're gonna do it
right etc etc getting pissed those
psychological fears he said and denial
means more lives could potentially be
saved some CPR is better than no CPR it
doesn't have to be perfect and I could
just hear my grandpa saying these words
to me your CPR this isn't gonna make
them voice but it sure could make them
better it doesn't have to be perfect
whatever you do bring your best bring
your passion
bring your heart bring your dream
and God will see to it that your dream
becomes a reality thank you for
listening make us proud
[Music]
[Applause]