Rabbi Shlomo Farhi's address at the Olami Impact Leaders Forum

ladies and gentlemen esteemed guests organized as all the rabbis all the people who made this happen I want to ask I want to ask all of you if I could have a little bit of the reward that you're going to have in heaven for putting these events on it is such a special thing that you were doing here for young people and although I don't do this anymore at all I'm chained to the desk of my new synagogue I made the exception for this and I think that is how I would open with you today the theme today has been about clarity and I want to give you an example of what that means about what clarity means last year I stood or two years ago actually I stood at the Birmingham or Lemmy summit and I told I don't know how many thousand eight hundred people I don't even know how many it was I told an ocean of students and young professionals just like yourself about how my house was broken into and you know these all of me programs they really have an impact people really listen to the speakers and they implement whatever they hear into their lives so I'm no different either the same so right before I came on this trip I broke into my own house I'm not joking unfortunately it was a miscommunication between me and my wife she had to take one of my children to the doctor's to a doctor's appointment I get home and my house is locked my passport all my stuff my notes my books everything is inside and it's getting later and later and later I'm supposed to leave it two o'clock I call the the our housekeeper who's now with my daughter and I say she only speaks Spanish and I say I really need to go aeropuerto I think you know that's how Americans like fake Spanish you know milk Oh cereal oh pronto you we don't know we're doing right so I'm trying my best I said I need you to come home now I'm not in the house she says I'm in the work with your daughter with rifka she doesn't want to leave Rivka's three it's like I really need to go aeropuerto missile play know she probably googled it he says why is he talking about Texas either way so I'm sitting there and I'm waiting for her to come back five minutes go by ten minutes go by twenty minutes that's how long did you take for her to get back from Central Park so I call her up again I'm like Marta where are you and I can hear children playing in the background she says Oh in the park rifki still no leave I was like what she makes her way back and as she gets to the front with the carriage I was like thank you so much it's now a half hour late after I'm supposed to leave I said give me the key she says I don't have key this worries me by the way I knocked in the name of my next-door neighbor's house she's an old lovely grandma and I said mrs. Aneeta something right don't judge me this is New York City if you know your neighbors you're weird and stalkerish it's a long name its various canals with lots of consonants you know if it was Safari like Rama I would bow me but I kept olace caged in a like that right I wasn't sure I said hey do you remember me we almost never see each other either the next oh she looks at me she's like yeah yeah like you're my neighbor I was like okay I need to go to the back of your house so I could climb over your fence and get into this person's house she says sure that worried me by the way like a minute ago you were immature who I was they got me a ladder I climbed over the ladder I sat there with a wire hanger which every boy yeshiva knows is the key to all problems there's the wire hanger and I managed to pry the door open and sit there for about 40 minutes until I finally got the door open and now it's one hour before my flight I get there I'm so nervous I get on the plane there's no kosher food I arrive I don't sleep a wink I have one of those guys you know who keeps into the elbow game in that game you knock it off and then you pretend you're sleeping you've all done it don't look at me that way I didn't sleep a wink I got here that no kosher food on the plane like I but I also had didn't have kosher wine to distract myself from the fact mr. word ago right I get here and I'm figured I'll go take a nap but the room is not ready I go into the room and I can't sleep you know why because I'm so excited and pumped to be here even though it's one of those days that my friends that is clarity clarity is when you love something so much when it means so much to you that you're going to be able to go do this when it's so important to you that nothing stands in your way nothing dampens your mood because this is what you need to be doing I want to talk about that kind of clarity and how does that happen how do you become the type of person that has that kind of clarity in your own life I want to share with you a fascinating idea to me I hope it's fascinating to you as well every single one of us in this room wants to live a good life we want it to be just a little bit like you know kind of off so that we can complain because otherwise really what is life about but we weren't like we want we want it generally to have blessings and the Torah tells us in this week's parasha describes that if a person wants all the blessings of the Torah what do they need to do and I'm going to quote you in Hebrew but I'll say it in English as well in Baku quote I tell a hope you follow in my rules and my statutes if you follow in my statutes if you learn my Torah Bat Mitzvah eightish morrow you keep my Metroid but I see time Oh time and you do them the Torah gives us unbelievable blessings that are gonna come our way it's gonna rain in the right time not only is it gonna grow the trees which are the consistent things that give you benefit and para nós at in your life livelihood but even the stuff that grows from the ground the new ventures the stuff that you need to plant newly each year this is going to go good you can have many children there's not going to be war in your length one bless after the next it's like a blessing train but then it ends and it says an interesting line it says we hit a lefty Batak of him and I will walk amongst you the IET like am i lucky man I will be for you as a god I will be your God that attempt to you Lee lamb and you will be for me as my people as my nation um Israel ladies and gentlemen I'm fascinated with texts both English Hebrew I used to learn to make do you keen to judge to figure something out from something that something says in brisk that's the type of learning that they love if it said it like this but it could have said it like that if it could have used two words and it used three words so it's I'm a Didact in that way and I noticed that this little line here at the end was kind of what I call and what is called a hanging modifier does anyone didn't know what a hanging modifier is the lights are in my face I can't see if anyone's right I'm hoping some of you were as geeky as me and there's people that I have their hands up but if not I'll die alone okay let me give you an example of a hanging modifier a young man gets married his wife says to him we need to go to my parents for Shabbat they go for Shabbat they get back the young bride turns to her husband and says so honey how did you enjoy going to ship out to my parents and he says well I got to drive my new car down to your parents house for Shabbat and I loved it that's a hanging modifier and that's a smart husband because you don't know if he means he loved driving his new car or if he enjoyed spending Shabbat with his mother-in-law that's a hanging modifier it's it's at the end of a sentence it could be going on one or on the other this last verse at the end of all of the blessings God says I'm gonna walk with you I'm gonna be with you they eat the like a little Kim I'll be your God they attend to you Leela I mean you will be for me as my nation is that part of the list blessings or is that the price you pay for a new blessing and I want to talk a little bit about what this means there are two times when we find this idea Joseph has the worst life if you think about it he's a young man he has dreams but his brothers don't understand his dreams they don't understand they don't get him they sell him into slavery he goes down he's suspected of all sorts of things but in the house of his master it says and God was with Joseph via he and he was ich mats Lea he was a successful man that's a much bigger blessing than any of the ones that we read about yet all the other ones are limited reign this kind of blessing that kind of blessing but a person who is a successful person anything they do touches to go turns to gold it's the Midas touch how does one get the blessing of God being with you then it says by Joseph and by King David that God was with them and they were successful in everything that they did how do I become successful in everything that I do there's one requirement to be God's people what does that mean how are we guard people how do we achieve this blessing and I want to teach this idea to you so you could take it home implemented in your lives and teach it to others because I think that this is such a beautiful and powerful idea the Mishnah teaches us Rebbe Amer Rebbe asked a question and even if all we had was the question without the answer this would have been a worthwhile exercise because it's a piercing question Rebbe said s do we dedicate our what is the straight way the correct way she evaldo hadam that a person should choose in their life now pay attention Rebbe didn't ask what should I do Rebbe asked which path should I be on his question is what should I be look now again at those verses that I sent you in the beginning all those blessings happen if you always resort ICT motown and you will do them if you do them you get specific blessings but if you are my people who attempt to you Lee if you will be my nation it's a difference between doing good and being good let me explain what this idea of being means so much of what we do depends on our state of mind I want you to imagine that someone tells you you go on to this the website you hear about an apartment you go on this website and you check out this apartment and you see it this probably happened to some of you this apartment looks beautiful nice furniture nice things now I've heard of a term called catfished in online dating but you can be catfished by an apartment to bait and switch now you might think okay maybe the maybe the the furnitures not included I get that so I went this past week to look at a house in deal for the summer where they want me to go teach during the summer and they told me you know what go to this house I look online it's amazing beautiful furniture beautiful lie everything's amazing and they said there was a little fire I by the way I should have realized right then right there's a little fire a couple of the rooms are not done you know we need you to you go check it out they're fixing the rooms they'll be done by the time you get in don't worry but just go see if you like it it'll be done in time I get to the house I'm such a muffin I get to the house I walk in there are no walls I don't mean that they weren't painted there were no walls there was no furniture there was no walls it was just like little bits of wood and then like that you know this stuffing and underneath it you know the kind of asbestos II stuff that kills you you know that stuff right and then there's another thing of wood and and there's on the floor there's a stack of sheetrock anyway I look around the house none of the rooms F walls I still remember the hoods above this real estate agent she says to me yesterday she has her bag on her and you know she goes so what do you think of the house I said I'd love to give you an opinion I haven't seen it yet she goes this is the kitchen this is the living room I was like how can you tell so you know what when someone tells you now I'm in the state of mind that if someone says that there's a real estate agent who's gonna show me your place do you know the state of mind I'm in now I'm sure now I've learned my lesson I'd like to show you an apartment does it have walls so are the floors it included you know I see here in this contract I'm not sure what this is over here would you mind telling me what this is that's my name now you're looking at everything you're so suspicious the state of mind that you're in dictates the way that you act so review who the Rebbe is asking how should we be if you could choose one thing to be as a Jew what would you be what a fascinating question even without the answer the answer that the Mishnah gives is amazing I'm gonna give you one interpretation the answer the Mishnah gives is called she/he to edit little Sarah anything which is great is glory is amazing for you the one that does it vt ferret La Mina Adam and his glory is an amazing thing for all the other people in the world that's the road that's how you be the commentators explained that what reviewed I was saying is is it good for you does it light your fire are you excited is it also good for everybody else that's how you choose balance equilibrium the Torah asks of us to be balanced people it doesn't tell you that you can't enjoy good food or wine in fact the Talmud teaches us that when someone swears that they're going to be an Azir and they're not gonna have any wine he has to bring a sacrifice at the end because he's called a sinner because he deprived himself of something beautiful that the world has to offer so much so that it says in the Talmud Jew in the Jerusalem Talmud that we're gonna go to Evan and God's gonna say how come you didn't see my Alps how come you didn't taste this food how come you didn't visit this place I put it there for you it's like the Jewish grandma who sends their son for Hanukkah to amazing ties for the 1940s you know they're so wide does like straps to kind of tie in the back it's kind of not so much tie as apron anyway the guy goes to his grandma's house he figures out where one of the times make grandma happy he walks in and grandma says Vlad the other one you didn't like ham because they love you God says I gave you so much didn't you enjoy the Torah I wants you to enjoy life but it also doesn't want you to be beholden to it the Torah doesn't ask you to fast except for one day a year the Torah says give our money but the Torah also says be frugal don't waste the Torah says give just sadaqa/charity but not more than 20% so you don't become needy yourself balance in a world that has gone crazy that is so extreme weather in politics or in anything that there's a polarization of people getting to talk to each other the Torah seeks balance where we can be passionate about something something should be good for me excite me light my fire but also be good for all those around me I want to tell you for me I have a passion probably my biggest passion in the world is the Jewish people and how they are seen I'm thinking about it all the time probably because of my job but I'll tell you my highest and lowest moment that both happened in the same place I was coming back from you Shiva dressed like a yeshiva boy you know the jacket had the black suit that's it see out and as I won't get to the airport I need to go to the bathroom there's a long line outside of the bathroom maybe 10 15 people deep wait my turn finally get into the bathroom finish your business and I'm about to walk out and my heart sank because I saw that whoever had been there before me had not at any point in time decided to aim on the floor on the wall and please excuse my I'm just sharing with you this is a painful moment for me I'm not it's everywhere and you know what my heart sank because I knew that the next person who walked it will be like stinking filthy Jews so I made probably the largest ball of toilet paper that has ever been assembled in the history of man you're clapping you're clapping I still get hate mail from the Amazon this big I'm cleaning the floors the wall to see it was so clean the bedroom has never been that clean I'm about to walk out by the way you know what I felt like doing I thought you know that sheet on the wall that says this guy has cleaned that at 12:22 I was gonna write slo-mo fari 1:27 I'm passionate about the way people think of look at Jews especially with a keep on my head because I know that people are always saying God's people these are God's people these are God's people these are the Jews they stand for something when you hear someone when I hear someone talking about Israel I can't help myself even if I know won't help I need to stand up for her I need to stand up for my people from my brothers from my sisters when it's an article that comes out and people say in the synagogue ah another religious Jew look at what he did I said you know what do you get the ham oh dear no you only get the New York Times and you're trying to formulate an opinion about the Jewish people from the New York Times the paper that put out an anti-semitic cartoon and then in the middle of the week apologized read just in order that they could then print another one in the same week get the ahmadiya find out what Saul were dagger does for the Jews or what Ralph hurts give us with the Jews or Aaron Wolfson does for the Jews or when le horn does for the Jews [Applause] but ladies and gentlemen that is my passion that is what I go crazy about that for me is everything it might not be yours and sometimes when we go to a speech or to an event like this and we get excited it's important to remember that our greatest errors sometimes is experiencing that which is around us and thinking that it is in us my thing might not be your thing but even though that's true you also have something Rebbe Nachman of breslav is quoted as saying that the day that you were born is the day that God decided that the world could not exist without you now for me that was for one day in an airport at 1:27 but for you it might be something more important what is your thing which part of the beautiful tapestry of Jewish values of Jewish continuity of Jewish heritage of Jewish identity which bit lights your fire what is it that you want to stand up for and make a stand you know there was once a man whose name was Rabbi Hahn and Wasserman unbelievable man he was the Rosh Yeshiva they had to be yeshiva in a yeshiva called mironovich this man was like Superman he was here in America during the war and during the war everyone said to him Wow thank God rabbi you're here in America you've been saved he said saved you think I'm letting my boys face the Nazis without their rabbi and he went back and he died and the final moments we have eyewitnesses where he told the Jewish students he said we are the best of the best we've been selected to be the sacrifice for all the Jewish people let's not go bitterly let's go with joy let's go with pride and he walked out to the Nazis and said shoot you hear that so he's in America and he gets a little message from someone it wasn't a text that hadn't been invented they had life back then oh this text messaging yeah so relevant for 20 years ago most everything against the snail mail okay he gets a message saying that there's a man whose name is Goldstein in the garment district he used to be a student study partner of yours and the yeshiva was one of the people who was gonna be a great Jewish scholar and a great Jewish leader just like you came to America Shabbat was so difficult he got fired every week because he tried to keep Shabbat until eventually it was too tough and he dropped the ball he now has a massive coat factory in Manhattan and he's making loads of money but he has no connection to his Judaism at all maybe you could visit him maybe you could light the spark rabbi Wasserman says of course he goes down and he waits for an appointment one day from the beginning until 5 o'clock closing that made the Secretary says I'm sorry can't see you the second day again he's waiting for the appointment till closing the third day it's the last day he's in America he says please tell mr. Goldstein that his have Ruta his study partner Elenin Wasserman would like to see him it's not ten seconds before Goldstein is running into the room tears streaming down his face throwing his arms around his old friend not knowing he's going back and he says what do I owe this great honor to one of the Great's of the Jewish people comes to visit me in my office and Rabbi wasum and says you know I remember that we were friends once and if you look at my coat the rabbi coat is called the capita he says if you look at my capita I have three buttonholes and two buttons and that's not how it's supposed to be Goldstein says okay he says I thought maybe because you have a CO Factory maybe if I came to you in New York you could sew a button on my capita Goldstein says are you mad you came here from Europe it's like thousands of miles you came from Europe to sew a button on your coat he says yeah you know you with the coat factory at all I figured you'd give me a good discount I think he believed it then he said she must be joking he says no I'm serious he says rabbits stop this game you must be here for something else it can't be that you would travel so far and go through so much just to show a bun on a coat and have a hunt on his eyes fill with tears and he grabs his friend who's lost his way with both of his arms and a giant of a man he shakes him and he says I wish you could hear your own words you also did not come all this way from heaven to earth from Europe to hear from your Shiva the way you are today just sew buttons on coats there must be something more that you were made to do what is it cuz it can't be buns generations collapsed in front of rubble Conan's eyes and the two men hugged and Rob Mahone and said why don't we learn a page of Gemara together and they sit down and learn and Goldstein finds his way home I hope that that is true about all of us now we can seek and figure out the reason why are you put here in this place in this time in history why what is special about you what is unique about you what can you do for the cause and I'll tell you once you've got that clarity you know what it's like you have to hear it's like you know I know I'm going to help rubble die I don't think many rabbis okay I know I'm going to hell largely because of restaurants I have this thing I call the waiter over and I say so what's good on the menu girls do that what would you like to order sir why don't you tell me what's good well what do you like I like everything why don't you try the branzino man beautiful fish you must have that annoying friend I would be that annoying friend if we were friends how about pasta a little heavy eventually the guy says if you don't want it why don't you just tell me you know what the answer is I'm waiting to hear the thing that I know that I like because when I hear it I don't know you cannot play you a part for the Jewish people unless you know what being part of the Jewish people is about unless you study the words that have been handed down for generations words that our rabbis our teachers our fathers and mothers gave their lives to protect studied in basements gave over in this country they lit candles behind curtains there was a young man I met in London whose last name is confit no I said that's such an interesting name is it Italian it sounds like a pastry doesn't it I'll have to confine OHS extra custard I felt really stupid when he told me what it meant he said in Spain the Jews were called either conversos the ones that converted or confined all the ones that ran the ones that left to protect their faith that was his last name you know if your name is Schneider chances are and you dish that means that someone was a tailor and your family if your name is Schneider someone was a tailor if your family name is convenor the runners my father ran away from Syria so that he could be a Jew proudly in the streets he escaped risking his life to get to Israel my mother grew up without knowing anything in South Bend Indiana she was a runner she came to Israel to Mack on gold became a registered nurse and learned about what it was to be part of the Jewish people and Jew history we are all the children of runners and now we have it on our plate let's listen to the menu and pick out the thing that really speaks to us and then take one step this morning and I'll end with this I was walking through the airport and I saw that there were two escalators and everyone was going down one of them give us see that it's like when there's two lines at security and the guys like you could go in that line it was like no no you know and then suddenly one guy goes in him was like how come no one was going down the other escalator because the other escalator wasn't escalating was it moving so everyone's going down the escalator and then I woke up to the other desk later I stand on it just to be different and the second I put my foot on it what happened it escalated so many times we're afraid of taking the first step because you don't know how we're gonna get all the way to the finish line but once you take the first step Hashem says you're being my people you're being people that stand up for what I want what I need from my children in this world I'll help you trust that that will happen you know some people are really afraid that if they try and do something or create a program maybe it won't be good and I'll leave you as I said with the words of Steven Schiff who spoke about CPR and he said the funny thing about CPR is that CPR doesn't have to be perfect to be life-saving some bystanders they feel squeamish they're not sure if they're gonna do it right etc etc getting pissed those psychological fears he said and denial means more lives could potentially be saved some CPR is better than no CPR it doesn't have to be perfect and I could just hear my grandpa saying these words to me your CPR this isn't gonna make them voice but it sure could make them better it doesn't have to be perfect whatever you do bring your best bring your passion bring your heart bring your dream and God will see to it that your dream becomes a reality thank you for listening make us proud [Music] [Applause]