Nothing is By Chance - Ari Abramowitz: The Land of Israel Fellowship

every now and then you know I'm blessed with the somewhat unique experience I think many of you in this Fellowship are as well of of having the the portion of the week speak to me in real time well whatever Torah I'm learning it doesn't matter it doesn't need to be a portion of the week whatever Torah I'm learning at the time speaks to me in real time literally as I'm learning based on what I'm going through at that moment of my life it's speaking to me immediately and so this past week was one of those moments a moment which by the way it's still coming together for me so Jeremy and I have had the great honor of Hosting on our farm our mutual friend Ley schala who just made Aliah with his wife and three young children to the land of Israel and they're staying in Jeremy's guest area uh soon to be our recording studio but it's still very much a joint venture we're hosting him together our families and we're loving now there's an idea that the first battle that the nation of Israel needed to fight and when entering the land of Israel was against the nation of kbon that's what it says in the text of the Torah um and now the word kbon means calculations right pros and cons she and just as they were a a nation a real nation was called they were also an idea and the children of Israel needed to defeat the idea of calculations right of rational pragmatic arguments about Ali of moving to Israel that's essentially what the sin of the spies were that they were using their own minds and their own decision making and making their own calculations and that's not what you do when it comes to fulfilling God's will that's not what you do when it comes to inheriting the land of Israel because rarely if ever does it ever you know fully make sense you're like you're not in a place like okay it makes perfect sense now you're never in a place where you're fully ready I'm ready to move to Israel now I'm going to go you never really get there and so to this day on some level each of us has to conquer that very same adversary which seeks to prevent our Ascension to the holy land or of fulfilling God's will in any real way but in this specific case it's about Aliah it's about the holy land on some level you just need to do it whether it makes sense or not when all the tees are crossed and the eyes are dotted it's often you don't get there or it's too late and well I won't go into all the details because it's not really my story to tell Ley and Rifka just dove in to the deep end and conquered kesone right the calculations like a CH what's he going to do for a living is no what car will he drive not clear where will the kids go to school no idea they didn't know they just decided jump in and they'll figure it all out on the other side of things anyways they've been with us for just over a week and on Friday Ley was driving his family to a frat where he was planning on spending Shabbat and on Friday afternoon at about 4M when preparations for Shabbat are like at their crazy at their Zenith when things are the nuts I get a call from Ley and I hear I hear the tension in his voice it's tangible he says Ari I need your help I'm stuck with my family in the car on the road to a FR past the traffic circle next to the Arab Village can you come get me now I know the way to have fra like the back of my hand I drive it nearly every day and I know that there's nowhere that could really be too dangerous there but for a new immigrant in his car with three children and no weapon well I can imagine what this is like for him so I high tailed it out of there on that same road for the first months that I was in the farm when I took that road I had my gun out under my leg ready to go and with time he starts adjusting to whatever the reality is but this is like one of his first times driving in Israel and driving right there so I'm burning rubber to get to Ley and when I get there I find them in the same exact spot where shaina's parents car flipped off the road can you believe that and right behind them there's an IDF Patrol vehicle which was a big relief for me to see and I know a bigger relief for Ley to see and he told me when I got there that as he was driving the gas pedal on his brand new 2004 Mazda that he just purchased meaning it was brand new to him but it was definitely not brand new meaning he was I think seven years old when this thing got on the road right now he's married with kids he's 27 so so anyways the the gas pedal just broke off while he's driving it just breaks and he pulled off to the side of the road and thank God the brakes worked and just two cars behind him happened to be happened to be an IDF Patrol vehicle which immediately saw their situation and pulled aside to help them and to protect them so I took a ley's wife and his children into my car uh which is a 2011 Ford Focus but felt like a you know a Rolls-Royce anyways I put them in my car and uh took them to a frat and um and dropped them off in their final destination and you know when I in in the car Rifka she she had tears in her eyes she turned to me and she said that when she saw those soldiers they appeared to her quite literally like like angels of Hashem like angels of God it was really a touching thing I even told the soldiers that but anyway so I dropped them off in a front and I came back to the stranded vehicle to pick up Ley and we drove back to my house on the farm where I gave him my car which he then drove back to his car to have it towed all in time to take my car back to a frat to spend Shabbat with his family because I didn't need my car first about happy to give it to now as I was driving Ley you got to meet him he was he is a a true man of faith I was trying to strengthen him and comfort him about the whole situation and I told him I was like Le my friend it's just a car it's just a material possession your family is safe you're safe don't don't even think about the financial hit don't let it bother you it doesn't matter I don't know why I was saying that because it didn't seem like he was taking it too hard I mean his once his family was taking care of I saw he was fine but I was saying this anyways um I do know what he spent on that car that it was a significant amount of money for his family so I think maybe I was just projecting on him what I thought I would be going through and would would comfort me whatever my intentions were good anyways I get back home in time for Shabbat and Shaina like a champ had everything under control and um and Shabbat comes in and I was e even with that whole thing I was able to get to the to our synagogue to our house of prayer even a little bit early which gave me time to review the Torah portion and how does it again we did it already when you go out to war against your enemies Hashem your God will deliver them into your hands and you will capture their captivity now there's a world of beautiful teachings about these words we can do an entire Fellowship just about this verse for real I'm sure Jeremy's going to talk about it too it isn't just you know talking about actual physical enemies in the land but also enemies in our own Hearts our own evil inclinations our own fears and our own doubts which I couldn't help but but identifying with based on the very last words in the Torah portion which talk about that ancient mystical ultimate adversary right our greatest enemy on the face of the Earth who is it amalik now as Jews believe you know that amalec is indeed a physical enemy in the world an actual Nation with a Fierce and formidable military force that hates us with the purest hate imaginable no ulterior motives the purest hate imaginable amalec is they they are an actual physical Force but amalec is the Prototype of the real enemy that we're fighting the spiritual enemy that they embody and represent to this very day so what what do we see in the book of Exodus when we first encounter amalik when does Amal first attack when the nation of Israel says when the children of Israel asked is Hashem with us or not and came that is how it shows up in the Tor only after Israel expresses real doubt whether Hashem is with us whether Hashem was with them only then the very next words and am and we see Amal in the very last words of this Torah portion remember what amalik did to you on your journey after you left Egypt how undeterred by fear of God he chanced upon you on your journey when you were famished and weary and cut down all the stragglers in your rear therefore when Hashem your God grants you safety from all your enemies around you in the land that Hashem your God has given you as a hereditary portion you shall blot out the memory of AMC from under the heavens do not forget okay now let's look carefully upon some of these words highlighted by by rev Beerman how did am attack how did he attack the text says he chaned upon us now the Torah is using the very Words which convey the nature and purpose of amal's attack to convince us that things happen by chance that there is no Divine orchestrator running the show that everything that happens is random and arbitrary and happens things that's what amalik is about their the purpose of their attack the purpose of of their existence is to strike fear and even worse doubt into the hearts of the nation of Israel not only about whether Hashem is with us but whether Hashem exists at all that is why in the words of the D the Torah tells us in the ver in the verse above let's look closely you shall blot out the memory of Amal from under the heavens do not forget what's he saying that we must blot out the very concept that things happen from under the heavens that it just happens on in in this world that's where things are really happening and we need to Proclaim to all of mankind not just through our words but through our faith and our trust and our very essence be a testimony to mankind that everything that happens large and small everything that happens is from above everything that happens is indeed from heaven and as I'm studying these words in the house of prayer in our synagogue on the top of the mountain me Jeremy yusi the guests on the farm we were all singing and praying and it was so beautiful and then boom the lights go out the lights go out now lately this has been happening every now and then on the farm most frequently it happens on Shabbat it's one leading up to Shabbat in the beginning of Shabbat it's one of those prices you pay for pioneering I guess we simply aren't provided with the allotment of electricity that we need to supply our homes and our guests particularly leading up to shabbat when the electrical usage is at an alltime high right the ovens and the ACs and cooking and preparing and everything now you guys know how much I've changed and transformed to like the POA Bear right since having kids like the overprotective ABA in every way imaginable and with you knowah credibly threatening to attack Israel's electrical infrastructure that was a big big big big warning and the government was warning us and everything I went to Great Lengths to acquire an electrical generator for my family so we'd be protected in the case of an attack someone actually came and helped us buy it and was very generous and then it was a huge amount just to install it but then I looked you know and and we were good and we were safe and it worked and all was well for me you know but then I looked at the rest of the farm at Jeremy and Yosi and roony and our guests and while I while I definitely conveyed to them that they were always welcome in my home particularly should they lose power nonetheless it was it was a discomfort for me it was unsettling for me it didn't feel right to me that I personally was protected with backup electricity while they were not and so among the thousands of guests that pass through our farm this summer we were honored to host a pastor named Larry Huck uh he is a man just immediately I bond with him as a dear friend he wears his heart on his sleeve he's just like one of those just seems like one of those trans parent people that is what who he is and he just is that and his love for Israel was just so strong and he was just so and and so he when he asked me what he could do to bless us and strengthen us on the farm I told him the truth that there were entire families women and children and many guests on the farm and we are very vulnerable to the dangers of losing electricity whether it's from a jihadist hasbalah attack or because of natural shortages and that a generator for the entire farm would be a tremendous blessing and uh he didn't Flinch he didn't think twice and he said he said do it I'm on it I will make it happen just do it and so we did and this past Shabbat was the first Shabbat in which the brand new Farm wide generator was installed and so when the electricity went out I was excited to see the farm light up which it did but then it went out again and then it lit up again and then it went out again and we finished our prayers in the dark which is you know has its own sort of magic to it but it wasn't clear what was going on and so I went home and my family and our guests are sitting on our Shabbat table when the insanity begins right all of a sudden the house lights up with brightness like a brightness I'd never seen the fan starts spinning with crazy speed and all the appliances are going out of control I don't know it's like in Jeremy's has maybe he can tell you but the lights were so bright that I was about to bring my children into the closet because I was sure that the light bulbs were going to explode which they by the way which they did at least some of them but fortunately it wasn't the glass part but just the filament inside which exploded thank God and this went on for about 15 high-intensity minutes and when the dust settled our refrigerator was broken our water machine was broken our fan was broken and other things too and it it appears they just got fried and stopped working from the intensity of the electricity anyways as Petty as it seems it was a hard pill to swallow not only because of the very sign significant financial hit this would be for us but also because of the fact that it was because of my desire to take care of my partners and their families by facilitating this generator then it all happened you know I felt like it was like I was saying you know it was like you know no good deed goes unpunished that's what it felt like and there were a few minutes there where I was really upset not Shaina she was woman of faith and Valor but me I was upset and just at the climax of my anger and self-pity the words that I had just learned moments earlier just resonated through my heart the thought that this just randomly happened to me that is Amal the notion that this was just a bad hand that I got felt that is the voice of Amal so immediately I thanked Hashem for this crazy turn of events and and I said Gamul this two is for the best this two is obviously a blessing whether I can see it or not it's a blessing as we always remind ourselves in the fellowship this is not happening to me this is happening for me and that fundamental shift of perspective that you know that hypodermic needle of Faith shot directly into my heart that is the difference between life and death between light and darkness you know immediately the prism through which I was seeing everything opens up from constraints and narrowness to expansiveness and as opposed to feeling sorry for myself I'm now beginning to seek and and to see as many of the blessings and lessons from all of this and here my friends I just want to make it clear and Jeremy I know I'm going long but I really want to share this story I want to make it clear that this is my experience and this is a very that that when this happens it's a divinely l experience I find that when you open your heart up to the truth of hashem's kingship and orchestration that that all there is is him when you open up your eyes to that Hashem starts to put the blessings and the lessons in your heart and one of the signs that what you're feeling is true is that you just feel that in your heart you feel it in your heart it's not an intellectual like oh that could be it's a thought in your head and immediately like that's what this is the thought comes to you and your entire Essence declares yes that's what this is all about that's what's happening here and the first thing that came into my mind that was thrust into my mind was a flashback to the conversation I had with Ley on the way back from his traumatic car breakdown in which his first B purchase in the land of Israel fell apart in the most dramatic way and I heard myself saying to him Ley it's just a thing don't let it bother you it's not just a material object these things come and go and here I was facing a nearly identical Financial loss and I am all torn up about it and I realized that it was not the right thing for me to have said that he could have said that if he wanted to but it wasn't my place to say that the right thing for me to have done would be to express compassion and empathy at the magnitude of his loss and assure him that I'm there to help him in any way that I can that Jeremy and I are there that our families are there so that was one lesson you know a lesson in empathy and friendship and by the way a real lesson in life that lesson alone in my mind made it all worthless but um but you know my mind then shot to my friend arier who lives in Samaria in the shaman who just weeks ago lost his wife in a terrible electrical fire which burned down his home That Could Have Been Me Maybe that should have been me but through hashem's compassion I was spared such harsh judgments perhaps in part because I went to such lengths to look after and take care of my partners and my friends there were other realizations and I don't want to go into all of them here right now but the reason that I'm telling you this is because this is perhaps the most important message I could possibly consider giving over right now this is our battle against doubt and Faith this is our war our war is against amalik and we when we are victorious in the war that's really taking place in our hearts well then the conflict on the battlefield that just details that is a manifestation of what's going on inside that is merely a reflection of what is transpiring on the battlefield in our hearts okay now I know that my refrigerator my fans my water machines burning out isn't a very you know high stakes story compared to everything else happening in our world but I wanted to share it with you not despite that fact but because of it and and because it's not just you know the big world events that Hashem is choreographing no less it's the seeming irrelevant minor things in our lives that he is orchestrating our personal lives each and every one of us that are orchestrated and and designed by him in Perfection for us and for our growth and by the way you know I want to give a postcript it turned out that we had surge protectors on on some of our appliances and so the losses were significantly less than we thought the outlets burnt out rather than the appliances and Ley was able to take his car apart just this morning and see that they were just too simple screws missing and I really believe that when we open our hearts with love and submission and humility to thank Hashem for the beautiful things you know the the the painful things before we have any idea how they could possibly be blessings when we wholeheartedly thank Hashem from that place of just faith and not knowledge or intellectual conclusions just Faith then on some Cosmic level it often negates the reason for the hardship to exist anymore and it's taken away from us in ways that we never thought possible so I'm just telling you it's not just a theory this is my personal truth my personal experience that I've seen time and again in our lives part of our divine service in this month of el this month of chuva and repentance is to pray on those parts of our Lives which we wish were different which we are angry about or we feel like victims about to pray that Hashem gives us the strength to see those pieces of ourselves and illuminate them with the light of faith and trust in him him and to thank Hashem for those very things and so I want to bless us my friends that when we do that that we are given the eyes to see the lessons and opportunities for growth that those painful pieces of ourselves offer us and we given the awareness to experience the the great blessings that are just waiting to be infused into our hearts and into our lives Shalom My Friends