Not PC: Is the prohibition against Jews marrying Gentiles Racist? with Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston

[Music] hey welcome everyone to they give in a big madras home to tour we want to welcome everyone home to torah today we're going to be dealing with marriage but not simply marriage how to choose a partner what you're looking for and we may touch on a few hot potatoes or explosive concepts here because this is god's word and it's not pc it's certainly not pc so i beg you all some patience and love and kindness so we are in parshat hi a surah and that is chapter 24 of Genesis verse 3 where Avram is going to tell he's telling his servant Eliezer not to take from my son loti Khakassia don't take a wife of my son with me maybe knows economy don't take from the Canaanite people a daughter for my son but the strange thing is he says I share a know Cleo shaved big here Bo well why does he say this among who might dwell it sounds very superfluous because we already know he's living in the land of Canaan it's obvious anybody who's read from the first chapter of Genesis until now knows where Abraham is he's amongst the Canaanites so every letter every word every statement every dot every tittle is that a tittle is that a word I've heard such a word somewhere in my life anyway that every crossing your T's and every dot in your eyes so to speak has a meaning so what does it mean I sure know Kyoshi epic here bow now I want to give you I just feel like a lot of Mercy and rock Manute on you so I want you to look at Genesis 24 37 it's this is as rabbi brighter with spoke about I beg you I I implore you to listen to her vibrated with a ship from Tuesday night which I think if I remember correctly is titled and what member looking for the godliness harmony and balance in marriage if I'm not mistaken something like that and look at so basically he went through the 50 different questions that the barber now has on the differences in anomalies between the time that a prompt spoke to Eliezer and told him the story of what did what he wanted then what actually took place and then the difference is when Alireza is speaking to the su l and LaVon it's very so anyway he doesn't he does he does this all favor and for the hour he'll he speaks about five take took 10% of the 50 he spoke about five of the differences I just want to show you one for now just to give you an idea in 24:37 its he's repeating these were his words these are eleazar's words speaking to LaVon and my master a Jordan me right in the first verse that we just read was when when Abraham says I want you to square by the Lord the God of the heaven and the god of the earth that you will not take away from my son from the daughters the Canaanites in whose midst I dwell in 24:37 it's almost the same he's saying and my master made me swear saying you shall not take a wife for my son from the doors of Canaanites but look at the last few words in whose land I dwell now you're gonna say come on rabbi you're being pretty picky here at least in the English it's not a big deal in whose midst I dwell or in whose land I dwell what's the difference so let's look at the Hebrew I share an Okie yo shave so far it's the exact same three words except that last word is different I share no clue yo shave the art so as opposed to Vic here Bo okay you want to show that this above and a missing paper not to deal with that right now but that is a whole story in itself okay but not for now we're gonna deal with those last word of yeah what does it mean inside he dwells in them among or I live in their land what's the difference what do we care really it doesn't make a difference okay remember we are fanatics right we love the Word of God and every letter is meaningful you guys following along in cyberspace in cyber-land okay here we go so the clea car points out he's not pointing this out yeah I pointed out because I wanted you to see the direction we're gonna go in he starts off by asking the question that we should all have been asked asked ourselves after he reads he tells us the verse he says the kid I know you Dhanush ooh Yoshi back here Bo you mean after all this time of reading the hummus until this point we don't know that he lives in the land of Quran it doesn't live amongst them LSU roll Atari it's busy Cuccia so the clear cards already telling us that this should be a problem to us it should be a question and it's already coming to answer the question what question is it Camus Thomas Eva shallow yet ha tamed in Osaka nany Penn you madman ma say him why is it they that Abraham did not want his son his only son his favorite son that he loves that would be Isaac not you sh ma l okay not to marry the Canaanites because as the turret self describes in Deuteronomy where is it Deuteronomy chapter 7 verses 3 & 4 it says you shall not intermarry with them who's them Pusha shot it's talking about the Canaanites you shall not give your daughter to his son and you shall not take his daughter for your son for he will turn away your son it doesn't in the Hebrew doesn't say grandson I added that in as you'll understand why from following me and they will worship the gods of others and the wrath of the Lord will be kindled against you and he will quickly destroy us when you come into the land make sure you do not marry don't intermarry with the non-jew native population clear as mud one of the 613 commandments we keep that commandment like gold alibi okay so what's the reason for not marrying them because they're gonna teach us if you're living amongst them and your intermarried with them then you're going to god forbid move away from following God right you turn be turned away kid direction mr and Vittorio's we just read in pain Maya via in Giza ich liebe nose LaVon abou su l what benefit would there be if Abraham sends not that he's sending his son but he's sending Eliezer to bring a woman back from this area of the world okay so in this area of the world they're also idol worshipers they also turn away from a sham what benefit is there if we're saying the whole problem is marrying the local population whose Idol worshipers what benefit is there to bring a woman from from from that area of the world back to here who's also idol worshipers is there any logic there key God Naima I used avada Zara come Oaxaca Nani they're also Idol workers are more at wider worshipers just like the Canaanites k9y now this is we're not gonna understand that but he's laying the groundwork that's why it says I share an Okie yo shape the kirbo which I dwell in them or amongst them and then it says Penta she s been a shaman the where's that verse this is in Genesis 24 6 so it's not that far off it's a number 5 on the source sheet Algrim said to him beware lest you return my son back there no matter what Avram did not want his son going there it's better for some reason we don't understand why for this woman let's risk our mother for the the this Buddhist door this woman who's looking to marry his son off to should leave there and come here what's the benefit there listen to what he says qiyamah schita in giza Bandini Yamamoto's Kanani if my son it'sa my only son my love the Sun I love would marry from the local Canaanite women they are cursed renault clio should be kirbo the very fact that i dwell here amongst them mustafa Gambini yagura them obviously my son will go to their home for thanksgiving dinner will you celebrate Christmas with them right or whatever these holidays that they keep who knows and that'll have a bad effect so he's not gonna marry one of them because he's gonna it's gonna be obvious he's gonna live amongst them Roz yesh lach Ishita shamea ma ma sayin it's very bad the whole point was not to learn from their actions and families get together there's reasons for families to get together good you know go ahead and you have a question leave me subliminals Levana Basu L now if he marries adore a woman from a far away Eudora Islam and she ends up living by he Isaac ends up living with such people like the Sue Ellen and LaVon as yesh Gham came Lelouch mu Lamas am then there's the same severity that if he's living with them he's going to also learn from their actions but here what did he say he doesn't want his son to go over there he wants his son to remain here married to were from there bring her here she ISA a shammy shot but when the situation is that he's gonna marry a woman from there do you dork on but they're gonna live here osmond monoshock then either way you look at it it's called a win-win situation what's the win-win aim con base my couch there's nothing to worry about teaming Levana busu l lo u mod member if they're living here so Rebecca rifka is no longer or neither as you talk in the in the environments of love and a Basu l they're here in Eretz Israel and their words cannot so they're not going to learn the bad actions from the father-in-law and the brother-in-law sure a lo your door at slop the because they're not living over there by them room in a Kanani low your mod and guess what even from the Konami so I remember I know a lot of guys to get married and they lose all their friends right all of a sudden but you know what it's okay because you just met your best friend and you're gonna spend that first year maybe more really building that relationship okay she is your soulmate your partner for life hopefully and so even the Konami when they go you know they have a bowling party or at that I don't know whatever these different parties they have block party a block party so you're gonna hang out with your wife instead of going and hanging out with all these people okay so I'm in a canal you know your mud even from the locals he's not gonna learn you know yellow hit our hits our route in my head because they're not gonna fraternize they're not gonna hang out they're not gonna mix with their culture the other Robin even the opposite is gonna be is gonna happen just to move ohto they're gonna actually hate him they're gonna hate the Jew they're gonna hate them you talk why you would even marry our Twitter you wouldn't marry her it's a little bit of enmity to results use Tom moto I'll share Laura tallit Katan bomb that's just the way it is right you're not you're not willing to intermarry you would want to stay in these little in clays and marry your own now you know why right the way it is we follow the way of God we're a little bit fanatical we read the Bible and we take it literally we have a tradition but don't take it personally don't take it personally it's what God said you take it out with him okay and the car continues I'm not my age crusher Harris however there's another concern altogether something else to worry about Oh something else to worry about and this is it tavarov owes NIMH shock Gamla bunny we're gonna talk about nature versus nurture in nature I'll call the DNA nurturing is something that comes through education okay we talked about this in the past nature is very difficult to change it takes a lot of effort so rabbi Bray let's also spoke about this that you can learn the whole Tom wood right that's drawing it in from the outside it's harder to change a character trait which is nature than to learn the old Tom Wood I can tell you the clearly the the Vilna Gaon has expressed as many times when I've mentioned it that the purpose of life is to Duty Kuhnhenn meet us right well I thought learning Torah is the whole point right get out of here it's in order to work on yourself so you can refine yourself right to become a better person that's what the tour it's an instruction manual on how you can fix your life and be a better person that's what the Torah is that's why you learn Torah who's gonna bring you to a reef a higher level a refined person elevate the world elevate yourself so tavaa that's called nature that is drawn down from parent child parent to child the doctor Bolton Alvaro Saborio Matata climber however specifically for those types of sins I'm gonna use the word bad character trait right when people think of sin I don't know what they're thinking but it's let's just think of it in terms of bad character trait it's coming because of the physicality of of who you are in terms of those sins that are passed down it's through a healer how one eats how it eats and Jews are making 100 breakfast today as we spoke everything you you have to go the bathroom you make a blessing but before you eat and you have five different foods in front of you may be making five different blessings right everything about a sham in our connection to him so a Gila are we going to eat like gluttons what are we gonna eat and make sure that the person next to us has also vizima all kinds of sexual improprieties the cute types of greed and kina types of jealousy so these are just examples that could run through our DNA I'll give you an example maybe it's even more pronounced today like they claim alcoholism or drug addiction can also be through the DNA or you how you're more likely if your mother was an alcoholic or drank excessively when you were you know being in the oven so to speak for nine months god forbid alright your mother was someone's mother was taking certain kinds of drugs the person comes out wanting drugs you know the kid the the you know I'm saying like they grow up and all of a sudden maybe they just have one taste of it and they're hooked it's just an example the cola honey those who rise hon it lean back lamer so true with any of the negative traits negative traits that are dependent on the physical body it's just in the DNA Nagoya mayilu myth posh team they are ours labonte these types of defects I'm gonna use word infection it's like an infection in the body right it's invisible you don't see it but there's this there's this defect these faults that are gonna be passed down from father to son from mother to daughter from parents to children we're told that a hem kilt is so too on and on to the grandchildren in and and on and on word though avodah Zarah whoa it's like one of the worst sins right idol worship when it comes to idol worship is it in the hall is it in the body does the body desires that's why I have so much hope I teach Gentiles I teach right people who want to become men are righteous Gentiles or you want to convert there's hope because when it comes to idol worship it's not in the DNA you know what it is it's doubly vesicular show them it's something right here all you gotta get is the person to start thinking activate it's like you have a lawnmower Paul Pope man all of a sudden you might have to pull 5 or 10 times and if it hasn't been used the whole winter right you might have to pull 20 times and you might have to pull the choke and you know clean the filters but eventually the lawnmower is gonna start right so to the brain is like that thing this dormant right we've got wine braces the sleeping wake up right now with this may be the woke generation it was talking about waking up maybe maybe it's gonna have some reverberations through the world right maybe people will start waking up so we have to activate our brain this is what he says Dabra totally basick low now the word say tell as most Jews know growing up even if they weren't religious they know saiful means intelligence thinking but you know what in Mohali in terms the reason I'm adding that is because the clear car was the Palma truth hawk the price student of the marat/sade huh means spirit soul so I could like translated as the spiritual intellect that's what we need to awaken not just your spirit and not just your intellect but both because they're really one in the same but just think of it medicines ain't no Mitzpeh shave me Avila bunny this is not transferred from father to son father to son now we do say that we're mommy meme Bonet meaning we are we are believers children of believers so we see that when it comes to faith it's not really in the DNA it could be because you're circumcised because you come from people who have already refined their me toes like Abraham Isaac Jacob and are all our parents they suffer greatly and they refine their me toes that it's their okay but we're not perfect people have problems and we all have the same name trauma and issues that most of the other people in the world have okay but there is some part of passing that test there's screw tablo's there's certain things that means the merit of our forefathers have trail blazed have made it easier so to speak to come to that relationship with God okay so before we go forward I want to go backwards just a little bit if we saw the verse you're not allowed to marry a Canaanite clear that was about the Canaanites where do we come up with this idea you can't marry any non Jew you follow my question I'm not the one who asked it from the Gomorrah okay so I'm just reading the question over here so let's read it it's number four on the source sheet it's in kaduche in 68 B so the more asked the question with regard to ryokan statement remember wherever we are in the Gemara there's always something came before and if we spend time going there we'll never get to the point so what to start mid-stream the verse says neither shall you make marriages with them there's no doubt that's written regardless seven Canaanite nations where do we derive from where do we know that betrothal does not take effect with other nations in other words it's not called a marriage so the verse says regarding general it's your marriage for he will turn away your son from following me so you might say okay that's fine that means anyone who is going to turn away the children from following God properly right doesn't matter what nation however that's it doesn't work out according to every opinion this works out well according to Rabbi Shimon who expounds the reason for the midst of the verse and rules accordingly I want to get to the heart of the matter when it comes to eight japhet how are you know what that is a woman captured in war she's not Jewish she's from amongst the the verse says right after you have a thirty day period she's in Moore she's in mourning she's making herself not look so beautiful and it says after that after the thirty day period you may go into her and be your husband and she shall be your wife the verse here is inferring what she can only be your wife she can only you can only take her as a wife and shouldn't you be your husband after what I'm gonna call the conversion process she doesn't even convert that is the conversion process so the same thing in terms of any conversion process if she's not Jewish you're not allowed to call her your wife you're not letting marry her and look at the that's clear from that I wrote does everyone know who the HAR adop is I'm gonna introduce you for those who forgot four years ago the rIDOT is how Rev aren't of it posted so the HAR adopt notes if you notice on page two in your sir sheets just above number five you may only marry her I mean take her as a wife after the conversion process before that process is finished it's forbidden clear as mud interestingly if you look at the Rashi though which is on page one when we went back to the idea of you shown that not intermarry with them and Deuteronomy 7 verses 3 through 4 it's clear it's clear through the verse now you may not see it but it says like this so you're not you shall not intermarry with them that's that's specifically the seven nations and then this is going to be general you're not gonna give your daughter to his son now it says your daughter so any child born from your daughter who's Jewish will also be Jewish the children of your daughter even though the the spouse is not Jewish it runs through the mother so the children their grandchildren to come from your daughter are Jewish so it says you should now give your daughter to his son and then it says you shall not take his daughter for your son now meaning your daughter-in-law is not Jewish okay for your son and then it says he will turn away your son it's your grants in other words the produce that which comes out of that marriage meaning the non-jewish woman so what I decided to do is actually just focus on the Rashi and he will explain it better when it says and he will turn away your son from following me who's he it's the heathen son meaning for he will turn away your son it means the heathen son it means your grandson because your daughter you're sorry and it says if he keep in mind if he marries your daughter then and your door will turn away your grandson whom your daughter will bear to him from following me so if he marries your daughter non Jew he's the one who's going to turn away you were I'm gonna use the word son but he means grandson whom your daughter will whom your daughter will bear to him from following me this teaches us what that your daughter's son born of the heathen man is still called your son because he's Jewish because it's your daughter's son so that's not a problem but what about yours okay but your son's son so in other words he married a non-jew so she this grandson is born from a heathen woman is not called your son but it's called her son okay so the turret description does not use her son anywhere here so scripture says do not give your daughter to his son and do not take his daughter for your son so it follows what when it says for he will turn away your son that's what it means however referring to do not take his daughter that means the female will be the seed carrying and the children will be from her it doesn't say she will turn away your son because it's not your son you thought it's not your son it's not related to you it's it's a non-jewish grandson from a female non Jew okay so I just beg you if we went through to quickly refer back to collusion 68b to get better clarity on that we'll move on okay okay this is one of my favorite chemours introduced and Lama time a bet it says there are three we're going back to this idea there are three partners and men as I refer to as the holy jewish trinity that's what the homer bowmen of the aim the since we're talking about Tavor nature versus nurture which is more spiritual philosophical of nature so there are three parts of men two of them two of the parts are a physical part that means that from the mother and the father Lathika como se habla strolling the climber a year shoe bunny that every aspect of the physical part of the human is coming from the met the the your parents your physical parents what about the spirit God breathed into us the spirit so that third part of this Holy Trinity is coming from God himself now on the source sheets I have here if you can see it so the word 'adam is olive Dali mem 45 right so we have an Aleph is one you have the word sorry I left dollar men I'll lift the Aleph is one thousands for and men is 40 so if you actually look at it like this the word mother is it's a m-- and the father is 3 so that's I love that 3 so now you have 44 and the olive is 45 so you have in man and we're gonna see the Gemara here that the man gives forth the white stuff which tributes are fills up the bones and the teeth and the lights of the ice thank you you too what would we do without you I'll get to keep coming back because you don't remember it works if you're working and what about the mother she gets worth the blood the red so your flesh your blood that's coming from her and what about the spirits I want you to look at the letter Allah for a second the olive has evolved like this and two yards so the geometry of olive itself obviously not the hamachi of volitans either one or one eleven but the word the letter olive symbolizes 226 six plus twenty thirty two tens what's 26 the unit in the hay and the VandeHei okay God is one so this is very important if we go back to I'm not sure if it's back yeah I think it's on the other page so look at number six number seven for a second so then in in the condition thirty be it pretty much mentioned what I said and two and so to the acquainting one's attitude towards his parents in other words is a great question you have on the tablets you have what we call the Ten Commandments but they're not Commandments with statements fine so did you know that the first one and the sixth one or parallel and the second and the seventh or parallel we've discussed this many times and the third and the eighth I'm going to write and the fourth and the knife so and where are we going with this so we say that the first set one side the first five is vein Adamle macomb between God and man and the second set is between man and man so what's the fifth honor your parents and yet what do we say the first set the first five is between man and God as I ask you simply honoring your parents is that is that a between God and man midst or is it between man and man Mitzvah simply you would have thought that it must be in between man and man miss them but but now you have to think differently right yes things like it's you all right let's jump start that lawnmower hang so if it's you know it's consistent there's integrity here so how can it be so one of the think I didn't have to crab us created with parents right you can just clip the snapped his fingers blinked his eyes whatever you wanted but we have parents and they're gonna change our diaper and we're gonna remember that they took care of us when you're sick and we've take care of them right but it's all about our relation with God it's there to remand a lot of us have trauma a lot of us why we have such difficulty in our relationship with God because we never really fully got over a lot of our issues when we were kids and anyway so I'm available you can call me we can have some sessions but anyway we all need help right we all need therapy and in this therapy hopefully will bring us to true a true relationship with our Father in heaven so we was I in this tomorrow here we are so the legal I'm sorry the logical derivation as the three our partners in his creation as the sages taught there are three partners in the forming of the person the Holy One blessed be he provides the soul where his father and mother and his father and his mother when a person honors his father and a mother Hashem says I ascribed them to credit as if I dwelt between them and they honor me as well so the Holy One gives us the fizz the soul and the parents give us the physical part then there was another good more need the 31a the sages taught that three partners in the creation of a person the Holy One blessed be he common his father common mother his father emits the white seed for which the following body parts are form the the bones the sinew the nails and the brain that is in his head and the white of the eye his mother emits red seed from which this form the skin the flesh the hair in the black of the eye the Holy One blessed be he inserts within him the spirit a soul his countenance I psyched hearing of the ear capability of speech of the mouth the capability of walking with legs understanding and wisdom beautiful piece so as we're continuing in the clear car after referring to the idea that the physical part comes from your father and the mother and therefore it's with a column all of the all of the actions that are physical are going to be handed down through the DNA or through the physical part of a hamona he Tolui basick la sha Adam when it comes to faith we call belief or knowledge of God that is going to be right here yeah it's going to be the thinking it's going to be in the spiritual intellect of a person all right cutters borrow who knows same bone the strum of the say huh because that comes from God we're going to talk about this piece of Gomorrah what it has to do with walking want that's good with hearing we'll have to make all just on that but for now all we know is that Coach Barkley he's the one that gave us the ability to think right I remember they used to have commercials on TV about these the drug addicts report black kids I don't exactly not to say they have to be the same but God gave you a brain use it right say no say no to drugs or you have a future all you have to do is is think and anyway so this idea of thinking that something God gave you that ability lobbying its posh shades amiable Abunimah how can that be inherited right you can meet some very nice people but their kids are not as wise as they are right I'm sure you've met quite a few in your life exactly sometimes it's the opposite alkane hi America Kanani this is the reason there's a distancing from the Canaanites God does not want them to be intermarried with us so you should to say Zima they were they were really down and dirty when it came to sexual and morality there's a comma mean a of arrows a neatly behind where Adam Doulos avodah Zarah how how many different types of right depths of sin that are hanging on the physical part aside from avodah Zarah this is what the canines represented below here love Anubis well but one second God did not tell our armor Avram didn't into it that it was a problem with come when it came to basu el why it seems at this point they're basically the same but no shimobe hem Came Polly truth voters are LaVon I know this is a hard thing to swallow cause you know they were deceit they were very this deceiving people but apparently the Canaanites were worse in other words even ourselves were we such tsadikim in Egypt that we deserved we were fifty forty nine levels down of to love and purity you know why we came because the taint that the time was right because the people that were here were worse okay we're not making that God made that decision right that as soon as their iniquity built up so much they were going to be taken away I mean I wasn't referring to that no it's okay that's a good point but what does that do this oh you mean that's how far down we were Wow so that's that's a good point thank you we were really really down so it says where we came out of Egypt we came up armed Hashim aloo so the word Hama shame it means a fifth if you ever go to a store and in Israel anyway I don't think they do this in America that may be it's catching on so there's a guard at every restaurant and every thrift store and supermarket a mall a hospital and they say are you camus Sh kaboosh means arms like ammunition he'll give out that taco so if you have a little commish in your pocket and they ask you if your bush you say i'm camus sh I am kamesh I am weaponized I have my arm Mints with me and not only that you want to hear something really interesting I probably you find you probably heard this relieve before when it comes to how many books do we really have right we say it's the five books of the Torah I miss you come say Torah but there's two upside down inverted no losing by mid bar right and there's 85 letters it's two verses and it's a bit too book on its own right not keep me sane tell her but when that right how's the Prosecco behaving Sarang we only know cher kuma right so this is a book on its own it's there's seven books of the Torah which we just got done saying the word five is a mmun and we immunizes how to work at you full of ammunition you full of weapons of war our torah is our weapons of war but guess what there's seven so what does Rashi say on that verse when it says they went up out of Egypt you gives you two at least two different alternative explanations one is the 1/5 went up and the other is a more literal definition he says in Hebrew they're weapons you know word he uses for trees ayan Zion is the vessels of seven well that means weapons of war so you the way you look at it whether it's five or seven because it's both when we have mock loca see when we have differences of opinions we say a loo the a l'heure de varela came claim they're both the words Living God but how can they both be close all you have to do it's the Word of God is meditate on it and grow and mature and try to see objectively get that thinking you know get your Seco thinking and you will come to unity that's what Judaism is all about besides gratitude and thankfulness it's about unity now the clea cart offers an alternative explanation now when he uses davara hair he doesn't mean that the first explanation is not valid we're talking another level again another level hahaha remember it says I share no Cleo shape dick here Bo we're going back to the original question what are those words for that says among whom I dwell that's what he said that's what I've said to Eleazar but what Eleazar say to to Levon whom I whose land I'm in meaning to say now these words appear in Gomorrah neither 20 be the Havana de liebe ani you're safe when he went after I'm says whose land amongst whom I don't use the word land amongst whom I am in the midst of you hear that we hear it the Cure bone I'm within them what is he saying I'm in their head I am so into it I have such a level of I called rule Hakodesh the holy spirit a certain level prophecy that I know what they are thinking you see the difference I am in them you can look into on your own in Talmud Bavli 28:20 B I know it's a very interesting piece so as we were talking about earlier today believe it or not that we still hold right according to the Torah a woman who's in neither that means who through a metro cycle cannot be with her husband until she has a certain amount of of cleanliness they the blood has stopped so today we have seven clean days and she takes an examination with a small piece of white clean cloth and she should know herself she's reliable to see if there's any blood spots and if not and she's in doubt and her husband's in doubt they take it to the local rabbi that's right the rabbi's spend some time during the day in a bright little room or looking at these sheets or underwear or little book whatever there however however you want to call and so this Gabor is referring that there's some people were testing a rabbi so they sent him 60 different trials 60 different cloths that had blood on them they knew which ones were pure which was impure and they were seeing if he can come up with the right ones and listen to the Gemara some impure and some pure and guess what rather got everyone right he knew exactly which ones were rich and so the last sample was blood of lice whatever that means it wasn't woman didn't wasn't blood that came from a menstruating woman and he says I don't know I can't figure it out that's the only one he couldn't figure out pure and pure it was very strange it was a doubt to him he received support in this matter from in a form of heavenly guidance as he unwittingly sent her a gift of a comb for killing life so in other words he had no idea that it was from rice but he know that he had something moved him to send a gift and it was a I don't if you ever seen a light a comb for lice but it's very tight-knit and it's very small on you come you could be a daughter could be your son your child's hair and that's what he sent her and what was her what was her response she said an explanation Jews you you must dwell in the chamber of people's hearts that was her response and this phrase is what we're talking about Abraham Abraham our forefather when he says I dwelt among them that's what the returned he he had this uncanny ability to really into it more than that exactly what they were thinking so now how do you think if that was the phrase that Eliezer told over to basu L at LaVon they would have gotten really nervous they would have said me we're deceivers if he knows what's going on over there he he knows what's going on with us so Eliezer knew better so he changed the words and he said amongst whose land as well as opposed to among whose hearts I tell him you follow otherwise they would have given up all hope of ever having rifka being married off to Avraham son Isaac there's no chance he'll see us he'll know from what we are and we'll never get you Rifkin married to the the princes son the king's son you know Avraham the great leader so listen to the words and and enoki called Messiah whom I shall tell him live on I bore Oh as if Avram was saying all of their thoughts with all of their actions I know everything it's as if it's before me Lila marry in a nyam Tisch pot perhaps this vision my own my eyes will was will see th been a ensui noisy masses em ramavaram scarp in hot cap and cut cap endless so what happens is this did he that they would understand they were deceivers at swinging it really means colors like a chameleon that's where the hypocrite is they had chameleon right I'll be for those you know that's what they want to hear and those guys will be something else I'll be what they want to hear sounds familiar you know I'm talking about it it's in the New Testament this guy says for these people I'll be like that for those people I'll be like that okay that's called a hypocrite so they so what does it say the people who say I'm gonna act very disgusting but I'm I'm gonna get the reward like pentakus members Emory was the one that had sexual relations with a non Jew and then what you expect to do such a horrendous act and get such a great reward like penniless didn't know doesn't work like that the talk show of kick sherry Mima they actually think they're doing the right thing that their culture ruin its cotton bomb and even sitting to marry the daughter of Abraham the son of Abraham Isaac are you kidding me alkane come on this is what I Braun was saying Chema's ah sorry I caused it through flesh even within my flesh I can see but Rocco - a lie through the Holy Spirit that's upon me shame em all you say toads gum and HUD they don't have one bit of good in them they knew it for them they know they weren't worthy he knows he dumb Aquila oh be terribly Bob and Abraham was saying it's as if I was living in their hearts I knew so in other words if if we talk about the K nights so that's what he said I'm moving among them if Eliezer would have said those same words then the Sewell of them would have figured we don't stand a chance then you do a toe hum kibarim he knew that their insides were just like their outsides meaning sorry that their TOCOM right that they were insides were bad okay their actions were bad their hearts were been alkanes Sheena Eliezer Bowman this is why Eliezer changed the words the what is he say in chapter 24 verse 37 I share no key yoshi-p art so doesn't tell basu Elavon that Avraham my master dwells in their hearts but rather my master Aram he's the one who dwells among them in their land conditional ya'muru love and it was so well in order that love anima so do not say if that's the case shinobi who boy say Levi he's such a prophet who's able to understand what goes on the thought thoughts and hearts of man I'm not normally where deceivers we're like the chief deceivers of a yo-yo Laden or emotional honor but guess what we won't have any chance in negotiations right we don't have any chance in trying to rip off Abraham try to take advantage kill your day a cold Mashable obey no Rob would know everything we have in our hearts rely Mohammed Andrew merely hit retain bow and they would think for that very reason he ain't gonna even think about our daughter for a up for his son you suck how can she neva why that's why L the answer he wanted to make the deal happen he was such a loyal servants you realize that his he's a connect Canaanite and he was a really kosher guy and his here the daughter and he thought what a great up but I run said no I don't want the man in the Canaanites which were gonna cease very shortly why the K Knights another reason the canines are very bad for the Jewish people to marry so he was so loyal that he did every prayed and he really made sure that that negotiation went through that he can get someone from the mishpocha someone that Abraham wanted for his son to marry and that was rifka our mother shirahama Omar Sharon oke Yoshi be austere and that's why he changed the name the the wording instead of saying I live in their hearts but rather I live amongst them physically in the same geographical location so the last paragraph the clear Carson's da Sean ream again it doesn't contradict anything he set up into this point it's another level that he says the verse I Sharon okay Yoshi Bakr ball remember Avram tells Eliezer when you write I don't I don't want them to marry I don't want get sucked to marry any of the Canaanite women because I dwelt in them the my gamba nose and their ash go oh mama I should be cured Babu Yoshi to exclude specifically you might think okay there's that why not why not these are okay these are kosher guys mom Rhea ash go these are friends of Avram they were advising him they were they were his pals you know they sat in the heat of the day and played backgammon while my waiting for guests where they were in Torah all right he can play the Torah okay so he says he's so soft Hema Zahra I'll roar this is very controversial because we were talking earlier on the way how do we know there's different what's the word races there's races in this world you have Chinese you have even Japanese a little bit than Chinese and Koreans but you basically have Asians you have North American Indians Mongolians you got white Caucasians just Africans Aboriginal sorry all kinds all kinds really the first of woohoo yes where'd they all come from so one of the ideas we brought down was that when God created man and he took earth from all four corners of the earth he on the Temple Mount he took a large portion of that soil for his head which came directly from the Temple Mount and the body is made up from soil that came from all corners of the earth and when man was dispersed at the Tower of Babylon so now man is physically in environments where he was put he was brought from that soil the soil itself is a little different has different minerals different you know it's affected by the atmosphere differently in different parts of the world just like fruits certain fruits certain trees grow very well in one place and not in others we have all of us come from one couple Adam and Eve and in that makeup is all the DNA and wherever it is in the world I'll call it Shenoy whatever some people translated some sort of evolution but not Darwinian evolution but the concept that there's change within nature and therefore the what's the word there's a certain potential for a certain color of the skin a certain like the the feel of the skin like in a certain location whether it's closer to the equator or further from the equator we're on the east or the west okay so this is maybe an idea of the different races however we're about to say is that tom was calm cursed Cain Keenan was cursed cannot sew this into this now the statement that the clear cars making he's saying that he says who I'd well not just the land but the people I'd well so this would you would think Islam I'd to to exclude also these people but in the end you know what they also come they count their kin the Canaanites even though they're good people so Eliezer hush ah've he thought she amel marcaine if this is the case if he would have said such a thing meaning if he would have used the words and share your back here bow sotas ooh or Tom they would have had righteous indignation some kind of haughtiness qayam rukuh what would they have said Mook rahu they hit the cotton bun oh yeah you know what I'm playing the part of the sewer lover so after the fact that Eliezer comes all the way from America nan and he's coming to me in the land of Aram so all right so what am I thinking he ain't got no choice he's got nobody to marry over there so if I'm negotiating and I think the person has no cards and no choice I'm gonna take advantage I'm gonna the negotiations gonna go my way I got I got all the cards because he got nothing left he can't marry them he aim low Derick little toast you mean he has no wiggle room no he can't go left or right he's stuck so I can take advantage let's say negotiations we have true love though Islam and there that's why he was forced to come to us alkane Omar that's why he changed the word and he says I Sharon okay yo should be art so specifically necessarily the whole land of Kanaan that that's where he's dwelling which means he's got well a big choice so when he says Bakr bow so it's more like the intimacy of the people the high news table Kanani meaning yeah he just didn't want to met he didn't want to marry the Kanani Avalos on a ship the cure babu your shave but you might have thought that those great gentiles cannot Canaanites who live mama amongst them then that you thought wasn't allowed to marry decide that the daughter of a Narus call or mom ray o ye they came low to Zouave da Tamil am so once you let them know you have choices you could go left or right as he's about to tell them you'll see in verse 49 chapter 24 verse 29 he says if you don't take my offer I'm gonna go left the right imagine that he's saying I got wiggle room look at chapter 24 verse 29 in fact the Rashi over there he makes it even more clear I will turn to the writer to the left to the right refers to a wife from the doors of Ishmael they're not from Kanaan where this refers to wife and daughters of Love's also not so in other words he's trying to say there are people who are in the area that are not that are there they're still moot are still permissible to marry and that's why he says as I mentioned the ethnic aisle you mean all small I can turn to the left or to right teach you she a sham in a smaller fun out did he had wiggle room have I met Rohit to love even those on their edge go home mom ray but because these three good friends of Aram they might have been righteous guys but they were Canaanites and they could not marry their Yitzhak now I just want to refer what is this idea that cannot is cursed what did Kanaan do what did he do so I have here a whole list of things that he did according to H comm if you haven't seen H comm I recommend you to go on to that website if you have any questions about Judaism first of all it was um that may have castrated or sodomized naw we're not even sure what happened we have different traditions maybe did both so look at Genesis 9:25 says cursed be cannot that he should be a slave among slaves to his brethren we're gonna see in this compilation of a and he was very interesting the different opinions but look at Rashi you why is Kanaan cursed you have caused me to be incapable of begetting another fourth son so it might not be that cannot actually did it but I know I had three sons and he was incapable of having a fourth son because he was either castrated or somehow incapable of having more children so of course it be your fourth son and that he should minister to the children of these older ones upon whom the burden of serving me has been placed from now on now what did calm see that he crashed like assuming that homme castrated his father assuming he said to his brothers the first man that was Adam had two sons one killed the other so as to inherit the world an our Father has three sons and yet he still wants more kids so let's assume that it was it was calm but why was Kanaan the one that was cursed so the simple answer is God just blessed calm he just blessed the three children they should now go off the boat and start a new life how could then no curse hum if God just blessed calm so he cursed come on his children as if the curse would be fulfilled on the father's back so to speak so let's look at the question that was posed to acecomm when did Noah when Noah did become drunk it was uncovered wasn't it calm who saw him so if that's the case why was Kanaan cursed why not calm himself so the first of six answers since God had already blessed Noah and his three sons and see that's in Chapter nine one Noah couldn't undo it it just wouldn't be right so instead instead he cursed one of calms son that would be like an indirect punishment to come number two Kanaan was the first one to see knock meaning naked and rather than dealing with it properly he he told his father who sinned further meaning humm so Kanaan instigated would ever happen whatever harm did thought psalm was cursed in particular in through his son fine number three that it was actually Kanaan that sinned against na either by castrating or possibly sodomizing you can find this in Sanhedrin seven da it was homily saw and then perhaps mockingly spread the word which is not proper to do number four that in the ark knock suffered greatly under the workload and he wished to have a fourth son to serve him he hoped to have one after the flood but now this opportunity was denied he cursed cannot in effect saying that just has come denied him a force on to serve Him so to his fourth son would not serve his father what we forced to serve everyone else in the world number five no off so prophetically this is very interesting that prophetically he saw that the Canaanites would be the most accursed of hams descendants just as our forefathers saw their loneliness and eschewed them and thus the status of slavery was most appropriate for them so this sounds I never heard this before that North as a prophet was prophesizing that this particular race or this particular group of people would be the slaves of slaves they would really have a hard time in this world as a prophetic vision and number six the Kanaan was the only son of cop had already been born so Noah Coast cursed the Sun because he had decreed servitude on him and on ham it would not be it would not have affected the child who had already been born and had he no more children the curse would have affected no one other than calm himself in other words as long as he was still the only son at the time that's who he curse and no accursed comes firstborn his made progeny to ensure that the curse would actually take effect so I've talked about marriage I talked about work it's really it's the work itself is what brings you close to your - not just your wife your wife is who you are she's your tico she is going to be your judge and your executioner how seriously she is dead and she's going to help you perfect your me toes I don't know how I've talked to a bunch of single guys here some of them I don't know how you can live a religious life honestly and think about the the way that the Vilna Gaon expresses life is about tikona me toes you get up every morning you look in the mirror and you say how great I cried I am I'm like the best thing of the good God made right but when you have a wife she has a little bit of a different take she sees your warts she's the a zurka negged oh my bride was talked about this she's helped against you what does that mean to help be a help made against you without friction what do we say I showed you that t-shirt it says in comfort zones nothing great ever paint from comfort zones right in America they have comfort zones you know what that's about I have no idea safe space right nothing ever great came from safe spaces right there has to be friction there hat right even real men I mean I'm sure there's women watching this right what greatness comes from friction unbelievable right it's the way it works okay with a will sign off wishing everyone a shabbat shalom and a great life and a truly blessed show unbiased for everyone jahmai jello [Music]