How Changing Themselves Changed Everything

That was, that was interesting. Guys, like I was saying, when I wake up in the morning, I'm gonna wash my hands and I say the Modeh Ani, and then I realize that I was a part of something greater thanks to the two of you. So I just wanna first off say thank you for what you're doing, thank you for being here. You know, the best part of my, uh, meeting you was meeting you in a schvitz. Mm. And, uh, you know, we'll talk about that in a minute. First of all, I love your socks. Thank you. Avocado socks? Mm-hmm. What are those today? Those today. Yeah, avocado socks. Yeah. Do you switch them out every day? Yes. Okay. It matches your shirt on purpose? Yes. It's also a thing. Yeah. Wow. Something has to match. The shoes or the pants. Welcome back, everybody, to another amazing episode of the None Of Your Business podcast. I'm your host, Michael Greenfield. Thank you so much for our subscribers, our comments, to the Prime Source production team. Today we have with us two amazing individuals, a partnership grown out of a dollar, literally. Like, you, you would think, like, what does a dollar do for you? And we're gonna get into that. And the creators of Daily Giving, and what do you call it, Doctor Doctor Donate. So we have with us Jonathan Donef and Shlomo Ressler. Ressler. Guys, I'm happy I got the names right, so, uh, we're off to a good start. And I really appreciate you being here. I Wanna learn so much about what you guys are doing, how you're doing it, the whole idea of tzedakah and charity and giving and where this, where the money is going, who's giving, how much of it is, you know, being churned in our world of, um, you know, our community, right? I, I wanna understand numbers, I wanna break it down. I'd love to understand who your organizations are that you give to and why. First and foremost, I wanna know about you guys and who you are and how you met. I know you're part of a little bit of a club. Mm-hmm. I wanna talk about that. You guys are also my, uh, non-bearded Chabad friends. Yeah. We'll get into that in a minute as well. So, uh, so much to get into. So first of all, thanks for being here, guys. Thanks for having us. Uh, Jonathan, we're gonna start with you. Yeah, start with Shlomo. If you don't mind. Uh, you know what? You're a nice guy, but no. Okay. You wanna pass it… I know what he's gonna do. He's gonna pass it right back to you. Yep. Uh, first of all, quick question for you. Are you doing this full time?- Um, y- well, I have two full-time jobs. Okay. So, yes. What do you do full time? I'm a chiropractor. Okay. But just recently I've merged my practice with another practice so that I would have even more time to focus on Daily Giving. Wow. Fantastic. Yeah. Okay, we're gonna turn to you, Shlomo. What do you do full time? I run oper- parts of operations for a family office- Okay … in the city. And, and this. And this. Okay. Um, how do you guys know each other? We met in White Plains. Okay. That's very- Right … conspicuous. Yeah. That's years ago. 16 years ago. Uh, 16 years ago, I moved into White Plains. Shlomo was right there. He had us for Shabbos- Nice … when we came to visit the community. I was part of the committee that, uh, the welcoming committee, so when people w- were considering communities, they came to visit, and we, we had them over for, for a meal. And I bribed his kids with, you know, balloons and tchotchkes to take home, and that was it. I love that. Shlomo, he's very humble, so I'm gonna add things. Shlomo was, like, a legend from NCSY. He's a little bit older than I am, and so when I was in NCSY growing up, it was like Shlomo Ressler was also, like, he had, like, a huge, a Dvar, um, Dvar Torah list. And I think it was, like, tens of thousands. This is before, this is, like going back, way back when email was, like, the thing, and he had tens of thousands of people getting his weekly, uh, Dvar Torah, and I remember being on that list. So then when I met, I was like, "Whoa, I get to meet Shlomo Ressler?" Yeah, so he was, he was he was, he was big a long time ago. Oh, thank you for giving us some flavor there. Yeah. I like that- Of course … actually. I still send out the weekly D- Dvar Torah, but I, I started a daily Aliyah, and so now I send daily Dvar Torah and weekly. Oh, wow. Okay, you're into the daily thing. Busy guy. I want to figure out h- how that happened, and, uh, let, I want to jump into that real quick, and then we'll peel it back, uh, a- right after. So you meet each other. You move into the community where he is. You heard about him. You're part of the welcome committee. By the way, welcome committee is amazing. I think every shul needs to have that, and I've said this already for a few times. It's not only about the person in the back of the shul. It's, many times, about the person in the front of the shul. Always think about the people in your shul, like, you know, the person who you think has it all in the front, sitting next to the rabbi and, you know, always laughing. He also can use the hello and the shalom and the connection and, you know. So but having a grounded system where you have a welcoming committee is amazing. I take it upon myself to do that all the time and the, you know, new faces. And, uh, it happens to me that, you know, sometimes I'll be like, "Hey, welcome," and the guy's like, "I'm here three months already." And I'm like, "Oh, oops." So there's really no system. So you guys have a well-oiled machine in your shul, I guess? Yeah. We also have a lot a, a hospitals in the area White Plains, and so people who have relatives in the hospital need a place to stay. So they often stay in our basement, other people's basements. So I, I used to have just a separate basement where they could just stay and be left alone. I figured they'd all, they'd want to be left alone, but the truth is that they want someone to talk to. So in addition to talking to our own members, we also, we're also welcoming to, to those who don't necessarily want to be there but have to. Right. That's actually beautiful. So thank you for the, uh, for telling me that. So, um, so break it down for me. So you're moving into a neighborhood. You're new. He comes, he welcomes you, brings you to the family, and then you- We came for Shabbos- Yep … and, uh, and then we're like, "Okay, we're moving here." Actually, my practice was already in White Plains, so we, I, I always kinda thought I should, I wanted to practice where I lived- Um, and so we came in and, um, and we were sold. It was, it was j- it's a beautiful community. R- White Plains is really amazing. There's two Orthodox shuls. You know, there's a shul you go to and a shul you don't go to. So that's how you know it, it's a, it's a big enough community. And, um, truth is both shuls are really amazing with incredible rabbis, incredible rebbetzins. And, um, even when we have our friends that you met the the night we met, when they've come for Shabbos, you know, not everyone realizes there are shuls with communities. Like, really, like, we're the rab- there's a rabbi and there's just … Oh, the rabbi knows every kid in the shul's name, you know? He knows every kid, and he knows what's going on, I mean, you have a bar mitzvah, like the, the rabbi's talking about them personally, and he learns with every kid. And, um, and there's committees, the welcoming committees and other committees, youth committees, and other things that I know in, in, in, I don't want to throw any other community under the bus, but there's lots of shuls that are more like shtiebel or whatever. They don't actually have that, you know? For example, in Israel, you don't have communities as much like that, like an American-style community where you have … You know, our friends came for Shabbos, for Shalom's son's bar mitzvah, and they were like, "Wow, this is like a community. This is like a feel of a community." So. Right. I'm from Minnesota, so like I'm born and raised in Minnesota, and like that's what you had. You had like d- they have three different shuls in, in my neighborhood in Minneapolis and, and that's what it was like also. You know, you had all, you had, uh, uh- Okay. So you're an out-of-towner. You're going into an out-of-town style shul. Yeah. And you went to check it out for a Shabbos. Yeah. And then how many communities did you check out before this? I'm just, I'm just curious. I think it was the only one. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it was love at first sight and- 'Cause, 'cause I … Yeah. And we were just … It was. Yeah. It was just great. We're like, "This is a spe- this is a special place, White Plains." And, and I don't think it's a coincidence that almost every, every s- almost every single couple, one of the couple is from out of town. Shalom is from LA. Um, you got Detroit and, and, and Boston and, and Houston and Dallas and, you know, all over. Like Chicago. There's just from all over the place. Yeah, very cool. very cool. Much, much. I did not know you're from LA. I did not know you're from Minnesota. Yeah. This is great. I'm learning so much about you guys. Yeah. I'm loving this already. So you go for Shabbos, you become friends, and you're in a family fund business. You're, are you a finance guy? Like what's your, what's your background? Yeah. Um, I was a CFO of a few small hedge funds, and then eventually migrated over to a family office running operations. Okay. Family office, for those that don't know, are people that have money to spend and they need to spend it wisely, and they create a family office. Yeah. And they invest in, in secured funds, I guess, or in different types of ventures, right? Yeah. Okay. So you're holding the hand of all those things happening, I guess. Yeah, just doing my part. Okay, you do your part. Remember, this is what the podcast is. We're gonna open up a little bit. You know, we're gonna slowly open. Um, so you move in, you find out about each other, you become friends. Wha- h- tell me about how this idea percolated. I really wanna figure out, like, first and foremost, and lay the foundation of what you guys have done together, which is phenomenal. And like I mentioned earlier, ev- I'm a part of it. Every day I know that I'm giving $1, and I'm a, a part of supporting a new organization every single day, which is phenomenal. And just for the sake of the viewers and the listeners to know, to understand this, how much are we talking about? How many givers do you have? What are your numbers like? And, what are you doing right now? Sure. Um, we have, um, we have over 24,000 Jews from 51 countries who are all giving at least $1 of tzedakah together every day, and every day we give the entire amount to a different incredible Jewish nonprofit. We like to say it's a diversified portfolio of over 100 different charities, and every day all of our givers get an email telling them where the money went that day, and they get to feel great about themselves 'cause life's hard, and every day there's lots of things we're doing and we could not be having a good day, but then that email comes. We get so many emails that aggravate us, like, aggravate us, right? But that one email comes, it says, "Thank you for your donation," you open it up, you see who we gave today, and you realize, like, I mean, not many people can give $9 million a year. I mean, some pe- you, Michael, might be able to, but, like, as a chiropractor, I can't. And so this is a way we figured out where, where people… You know, a, a couple years ago someone wrote an article about us in Mishpacha Magazine and a bunch of people signed up. But, like, the next week someone wrote a letter to the editor, which I liked more than the article, and the, and the letter to the editor said, "You know, I've always struggled with tzedakah because I've always felt like my $18 check or my $36 check felt, like, rather insignificant," and just, like, just doesn't feel like I'm having an impact with my tzedakah money. But with Daily Giving, for the first time I'm giving…" At the time, it was like, "I'm giving $14,000 a day. I feel like I'm a big giver." So that's, that's kinda what we do, and, uh, g- I, we've given out over $34 million in the, in the first seven and a half years since we started. Wow. Can I just add to that? It's not just, it's not, uh, the aggregate is beautiful, but the, what really drives, for me anyway, for what feels special to me is when you get a, Hashem sees what you're doing, right? You're giving a dollar. If you're helping, uh, a widow, let's say, is Hashem gonna say, "Yeah, but you're only . 001% of, of this widow's help"? No, you're helping, you're helping His children. And so just being a part of helping another Jew, it, it's almost irla- irrelevant how much. You're just doing it together with, with all your other brothers and sisters. That's very true. Mm-hmm. It's a feeling of being a part of something, the achdus- Yeah … the feeling of togetherness- Yeah, yeah, yeah … which is really great. Percentage-wise, how many people are giving a dollar versus more? 91% give a dollar a day. That's amazing. Yeah. Wow. Okay. And we're talking about $9 million now on average a year, right? Yeah, giving, right, it grows, thank God, every day. Sure. And, um- How many people are signing up on average? Do you have numbers like that? Yeah. I mean, it depends what, if we're running certain things or campaigns- Campaigns … or different, that we're about to go into, you know, it's right before, it's Elul, right? Right, right. And we're, we're about to- Remember, it's Elul … like this is, right, this is, if you're, if, if you're, if you're- Yes … hopefully we'll say something tonight that will inspire you to join us and, uh- Absolutely … we'll get you be a part of it. But, um, yeah. It's, it's a, it's a good time for daily giving this time of year- Yeah as, uh, we try to, you know, that Jewish guilt is the, you know- as we like try to, try to get the scale to our side, you know? Okay, you already got my dollar. That's it. But that's really what it is. Once you get someone to give a dollar, you feel accomplished and you're moving on, and you want- Yeah. I mean, we have more people that start, they go from a dollar, then decide to give everyone in, for everyone in their family. They go from like a dollar and then cancel. Hmm. Yeah. So a lot of people, there was like, um, recently a woman signed up, she like, she emailed us and she said, "Can someone call me? I'd like to give more." And I called her, she was from Florida, like she was a nurse anesthetist, and I honestly don't even know if she's religious or not. It doesn't make any difference. That's one of the, like, like Shalom said, the achdus, like we have people, like totally secular Jews that give to us and, and come, you know, you know, the most Hasidic, everything in between, and, um, and that's what I think, like what more could Hashem want than all of His children giving together to our brothers and sisters who are less fortunate? And so that's- Beautiful … that's what we're doing. So this woman called up and I spoke to her, and she, she wanted to give 10%. She's like, "I don't know who to trust, but I trust you guys." So she gave $29,000. She sent us a check, and I don't remember what that turned out per day, but that's what we did. What's the fees, uh, associated with running this organization? Well, we fundraise our entire overhead separately. So 100 cents of your dollar goes to charity every single day. Wow. Do you know what the average is for the, uh, larger charities of America, of how much money actually goes to the charities? You ever do the s- studies? You ever see- Jewish or non-Jewish? Non-Jewish. You ever see these New York Times reports? No, but I know it's very high. It's phenomenal. I don't know if Stefan can look it up now, but, uh, Stef, if you can ChatGPT and just ask, um, top 10 charities in America, how… When telemarketers call people for charities, how much percentage actually goes to the cause? Right- When it's telemarketers, it's, it's really bad. Yeah. Ab- It's really bad … so we're talking about 1%, about 1%, 2%, 3% of the money you're giving. Whoa, that bad? Yeah, yeah. Whoa. That's, worse than I thought. We're talking about very bad. I, I, I remember seeing a report like this. I know you'll, Stefan will look it up. Wow. We'll get back to it in a second. But also amazing that you're giving to different organizations. I'd love to hear how you decided to do this and wh- which organizations do you pick? I, I'm sure also people are thinking now, oh, this person needs help. Why are we not doing something for this person? By the way, shout out to s- certain people that I know that, um, on, on a daily basis, they're raising money to help s- pay someone's mortgage, pay a tuition, and I'm just gonna name one person, uh, on particular who's on my mind, Joel Wall. He's a guy that every day pretty much, he's just pounding it, and he's using the status to really Just bring people together and save people's lives one at a time, which is really, really cool, and I'd love to hear how you determine what you're doing and how you're doing it. So no fees, 100% going towards it, so it's another comfort level knowing that you're giving to charity and you know 100% of your money's going to the cause. Really also a great thing. Not necessarily is the money that's going to the cause, I guess that cause has to also determine what goes to theirs, right? So every organization is different, right? If you write- Yeah … write a check to a Chai Lifeline versus a Chamas Bik versus a what, you know. I don't know if there's donations to Chamas Bik, but there's different formulas, right, of what goes. Do you guys research how much goes into the organization? Like when you give to a certain organization, do you figure out percentage-wise what they do with the money? You do that as well? Do you- Of course. you guys- Yes, we analyze- Yeah, we- … the expense ratios. Exactly. We, our due diligence team looks very carefully at what they're spending on, but even better for us is like we will, we'll take a project or we'll direct our money. So like it won't just be the $24,715 we gave this morning to, you know, uh, Mesaskim, but we'll say, "We wanna work…" like m- you know, I just said Mesaskim, just came to my head. That's not who we gave this morning. But, um, you know, so we will research something and we'll, we'll fund a certain project. So then it really is not just 100% of our money, but 100% goes straight there. So we're not- So a project within an organization. Right, so that we're not funding their own overhead. Because people, overhead's important. People don't realize, like- Yeah … like people need to be paid and- Sure … and nonprofits have to have people, employees, and employees cost a lot of money nowadays, you know? And so people don't really realize that, that you can't have free tzedakah, can't always, you can, you, you know… In Israel there are some truly amazing, like, gabai tzedakahs that literally I don't know how they survive, and, and they do it, and, uh, on, on almost no overhead. But for the majority of big organizations, like if you wanna get really good stuff done, you gotta pay good people. Yeah. No, I agree with you, and it makes sense to have those fundraising things, and I've had some pretty horror stories that happened to me in terms of people coming from different countries to collect and saying certain things and doing certain things. I had my child once gave a dollar to somebody, and he smacked it out of his hand and said, "This is not tzedakah." And that's what I remember when I started giving to Daily Giving. I was like, you know what? That's the story that I remember in my head. Like, you know, you don't smack a dollar out of anyone's hand. Every penny is worth something, and especially if you're doing it as a group. So again, kudos to you. How did this come up? Where did this come from? You come into the shul, you meet him, you become friends. You're a chiropractor. You're in finance in a family office. Just tell me how this percolated. Where did this come from? W- Where was the aha moment? Where did you guys, like, think about this together? Tell me that story. Okay, I guess I'll start this one The story Well, first of all, before I tell that, I just wanna say, like, what's so interesting is that first we've been friends, best friends for, like, 16 years, right? So but we didn't… Daily Giving didn't start-- We didn't, I didn't have the idea till, like, eight years ago. So, you know, and people sometimes ask me, you know, "Oh, tzedakah must be your mitzvah. Like, that must be your… like that was always tzedakah is your mitzvah." I'm like, "To be honest, like I, it really wasn't." I struggled with tzedakah because, um, I'm a chiropractor. I have my own office, and my wife's not working outside of the house, so it's, like, all on me. No one's saving for my kids' college fund. No one's saving for my retirement, so I had to, like, do all that. And that, when you have your own business and you're a single practitioner, if I get, if I get hurt, if I go skiing and I tear up my knee and I can't work for three months, like I don't make money. Like it's, it's real. And so there's, like, that mentality was hard for me. And so, um, I, I gave tzedakah, but did I give 10%? If we, if take besides the tuition, if you take all that out, I'm not, I don't… The answer is no. If I'm being honest, no. The answer is no. I didn't. And Shlomo is a very, very unique person, and Shlomo-- And now that I'm in the world of, of Tzedakah and I, and I get to meet so many special people, like even though I've met so many givers, I've ve- I think there's only two other people that I could, could, could compare to Shlomo in terms of, like their pleasure that they get out of giving. Like truly Shlomo gets pleasure from giving, and he taught me, like he really taught me about giving and, um, and it's really incredible the gift that he's given me and, and now I'm so passionate about giving and getting others to give and I think it was great that I, in some ways, that the fact that I wasn't always passionate about giving and now I'm so passionate about giving and getting others to give because I understand how it trans-it transformed me as a person. It's not like giving has such a profound effect on the giver and now I understand that. I didn't understand that before. So that's kind of a little bit of background on just what I've learned from Shlomo and, and, and which just makes sense. Like, so why I had the idea, I, I don't know, but it basically, it stemmed back about eight years ago Someone had told me about a YouTube video of a rabbi who had a near-death experience. And just the way he told me about it, it w- I was so intrigued. And it was a two-hour video, and like I don't, I don't have time to watch two-hour videos. But I watched like 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there, and the video is absolutely amazing. It's about … This rabbi's name is Rabbi Alon Anava. You could go on YouTube and look him up. Put near-death experience. There's lots of his videos. Um, and essentially he talks about, um, he says, "I wasn't just a secular Jew." He's like, "I, I purposely ate cheeseburgers on Yom Kippur. That's the type of Jew I was." And he died of a drug overdose. And before he came back to life, obviously this is him talking, so he talks about being in this black abyss of pain and suffering for what felt like two billion years. And he said the message he got was, "You don't have one single mitzvah, nothing to elevate you," and that's why he was stuck there for so long And that the message you got was, "We are here in this world to take action and do for others." And it's a very powerful video. It changed my life a second time, uh, when I watched it five years later. And I was like-- I realized I had never watched it again, and I watched it a second time, and it changed my life in a different way. But I watched the video and it s- the, the, the day I finished watching the video, like I, I finished in my car and, uh, outside in the parking lot of Young Israel White Plains, and I walked into shul for Marv, and I put a dollar in the tzedakah box like we all have, who knows how many times in our lives. And at that moment, I had the only epiphany I ever had in my life, that no matter how much money I give to tzedakah, I still get a mitzvah for this one dollar. I was like, "Wow, what a deal. A mitzvah for a buck?" I was like, "How can I guarantee that I'm giving tzedakah every single day no matter what for a dollar?" That was the idea that popped into my head. And it wasn't just like an idea, it was like-- 'cause I said, like it was an epiphany. Like I-- it was so like deeply ingrained in my soul at that moment. like I thought I had a billion-dollar idea. I was like, I, I, I knew. I couldn't concentrate during Shmoneh Esreh. Like I really ran home, and I started googling, "Is anybody automating daily tzedakah giving?" And I could not find it. So I called up my website guy, Shaul who's to this day my website guy and is the chief technology officer of Daily Giving. And I asked him what he thought of the idea. He says, "Great idea." I said, "Could you build me a website?" He said, "Absolutely." I said, "Great." Called Shlomo, called my friend Rami, and, uh, we started having meetings at our, you know, different houses, and we're-- started planning how could we do this, how, how… And Shlomo was the biggest giver. We used to-- we just said, "Shlomo, who do you give your money to?" Shlomo gives his list of tzedakas, right? Like we all started just figuring out who are the different tzedakas that we want to give to. And then this was, like, probably May or June of, of twenty eighteen. And, um, and then I had this idea 'cause I listened to a lot of Shiurim Torah Anytime and I really liked Rabbi Paysach Krohn who's the voice of Torani Time. I was like, if you hear Rabbi Krohn talk, he's constantly saying, like, Torah Anytime is the greatest thing since sliced bread." Like, he's like, "To- by tomorrow my Shir is gonna be heard in Switzerland and Chile and Mexico and Canada." And so I was like, "If I can get Rabbi Paysach Krohn to speak about daily giving the way he speaks about Torah Anytime we're gonna blow this thing up." So I, I got his number, and I called him up, and my heart was beating out of my chest. And the voice of Torah Anytime picks up the phone. I'm like, "Oh my God." And, um, I told him the idea, and he's like, "This is a great idea." Um, he's like, "No one's doing it." I said, "Rebbi, no one's doing it." So he said, "Well, do you have a rabbinical council?" I was like, "No." He's like, "Well, how are people gonna not know it's not going to their kids' college fund?" I said, "That's a great idea." So we formed a rabbinical council, who to this day is our rabbinical council, very prestigious rabbonim, and we went live with the website January first, two thousand nineteen. And I told you the stats before. That's, that's how it started. Wow, uh- And, and people don't know, like Shlomo really the first year or two, like it was just, Shlomo really funded the whole thing. And- Well, let's take a break- on, on, on that for a second. And Shlomo, moving right to you. I'm loving this back and forth by the way. Shlomo, you get a call from your friend of eight years, right? Someone who you're very, very close to, and he has another idea, right? Yeah. I imagine you're full of ideas. We're always, we're always percolating ideas, right? But this time something felt different. Yeah. Tell me about that call. Tell me about that meeting. Give me your side of the experience of what happened and you went through. It was actually a Shabbos walk, uh, between mincha-maariv. Uh, I remember thinking, "It sounds like a- an amazing idea." Like h- I was trying to, you know, I'm trying to be critical, like what, what could be it? Why haven't the, why hasn't it been done? Uh, so and I was just so excited after Shabbos is just, you know, running to the internet and figuring out what, what would be needed. You know, we have to form a, a, a nonprofit status and all that. It was just… I've been blessed with, uh, with some, some friends that have had some brilliant ideas, and so I, I can, I can tell. And that one I knew. Right away. Yeah. That's it. And you went running with it. Yeah. And you helped fund it. Yeah. Wow. I, I actually ga- … I didn't want other people to fund it because, uh, funding operations, if you think about it, for every $100 I give to operations, it gets another giver. So my $100 turns into 15, $2,000, 25… Like that's the biggest return on, on my tzedakah investment. Why would I wanna share that with anyone? Shlomo, most people don't talk that way, so we need to back up and find out who the heck you are. Good. Where did you grow up? Good idea. Who are you? And, uh, just lay it on me. This is like, you know, this is a shidduch question, right? Wow. Like I wanna, I wanna marry you. Wow. Who are you? Where are you from? Who are your parents? What camps did you go to? What schools did you go to? What got you interested in giving? What challenges have you faced as a child in growing up? Uh, were you the bully or were you bullied? Mm. Uh, you know, did you go through stresses and anxieties? Like what got you to the point in life where you wanted to fund an operation that will continuously give? What you just said is not something that somebody wakes up with in the morning and just says, "Oh, that's my personality." It, it comes from somewhere, and I'd like to break that apart a little bit and find- Wow out a little bit more about who Shlomo is. Oh my goodness. Where do I begin? Um. Where'd you grow up? I was bro- born in Israel. Okay. Who are your parents? My parents are Israeli. They s- we still speak Hebrew at home. Really? Yeah. It's Yoffi. Yeah. It's a gift. I feel bad I don't do it with my kids, but, um, they hear it through my g- from, uh, my parents. Grew up in LA. So you were born in Israel though? Born in Israel. I m- moved to LA when I was seven. Right away. Oh, seven? Yeah. Okay, you got seven years in Israel. Got seven years, yeah. What, what community- Can Bnei Brak know this? No, that's… Bnei Brak? Bnei Brak, yeah. Stop it. They wouldn't let those socks or that shirt in Bnei Brak. No, no. It's probably why I wear 'em. So you grew up as a Dati. Yeah. Right? Yeah, I still am- Am I saying that right? Yeah. I mean, what is it? ultra-Orthodox. Oh, that's what Yeah. Chasidish is …Hasidish or…? Not Hasidish, but- Yeah, but ultra-Orthodox same idea. Yeah. On Rechov Chazon Ish, right? Like that area. Yes. Right? Very close. Okay. Or Hilton. Right, okay, cool. So you grew up very Israeli. Yeah. And your parents were very Israeli? Yeah. Okay. Not Hasidish, but very Israeli, so- Where were they from? From, their parents are from, uh, Budapest, Germany, Poland. Got it, okay, so they went through the, uh, Holocaust, uh, so- My, uh, one grandparent went through the Holocaust, escaped right before, the, the one from Germany- Yeah and the other is, uh, esca- uh, moved to Israel before, before the Holocaust. So they went to Israel- Yeah … when Israel was being built as a country in general? Yeah. Beautiful, okay. So at seven years old, "Uh, guys, we're not, um, in this challenge anymore." Right. "We're going to LA." What happened? Yeah, my uncle lived in LA and offered my father, uh, a job. Okay. So we moved there. I remember getting into the, my uncle's Cadillac with, with, like, fancy leather and I rem- I still remember the smell. It was a unique experience. It was fun. How many siblings are you? I'm one of five. One of five, so you all went together or they were all born at that time? At that time, we were, we were only three. There were three, okay. Uh, two younger ones were born in Israel. So you were the oldest? Yeah. Wow, so you're the oldest boy- Yeah … of an Israeli young family- Yeah … moving to LA. You come to America and you get entered into a Cadillac and you're like, "Wow, what's happening here?" Okay, I love it. It was a chavaiah. Wow. Yeah. To say the least. Okay. We didn't have a lot of money. Uh, one thing that kinda defined who I am, one year, um, my brother had a birthday and he really wanted this calculator watch at the time. I'm aging myself here. I remember those, come on. It was fun. Uh, so I bought it for him to surprise him, and I gave it to him and I think, like, within an hour or two it broke. Like, "Oh no, what do I do?" Before he even realized, I went back to the store and I bought him a second one, and that felt so good. Um, I think th- uh, thinking back, I think that's probably my first experience of really enjoying giving. A sec- like, not just giving, giving a second time when you, when it's not expected, or finding a way to give. That's, to me, that's still exciting So, um, fast-forward, high school, I would s- uh, I was bullied. I was definitely bullied. Well, you're Israeli. You're coming into- Yeah … LA. I mean, come on. Yeah. I don't blame them almost. It was not fun. I mean, like, wow. right. Yeah, I mean, you went through that process then. Yeah. Did you complain to someone? Did you go home? Did like… There was nothing to do. Nothing to do. You just put up with it. Yeah. They skipped me in Hebrew, and I was- behind- Right in English, and so I had to, while everyone was playing at recess, I was moving class, my, my desk across the playground. That's very tough. Yeah. High school, I went to Ner Yisroel. Oh. To, uh, yeah, and then for yeshiva, I went to Rabbi Zweig's yeshiva in Florida, which was mind-expanding. Really taught me how to think. From what perspective? Um, this is so unique. Friday night, when he sat with us, he would ask questions on the parsha and not answer them, no matter what. Like, he will not answer them. So we'd have to, like, talk amongst ourselves and find answers, and then go to him and see if we got it right. I love that. It taught me how to think critically. Um, years later, when I decided to write, uh, dwar Torah on every aliyah of every parsha, I started with his shiurim. Whatever I could get out of there, I did, and then I supplemented with other sources. Wow. So that, that really was the beginning of my religious journey. So you're, you're in Florida, high school. This is a high school in Florida that you- Uh, no, yeshiva. Oh, s- Beis Medrash. Oh, Beis Medrash. Yeah. Okay, so it's after high school. High school and Ner Yisroel, yeah. Got it. Okay, so it's after Ner Yisroel- Yeah … you're saying. So Ner Yisroel to this Florida Beis Medrash. Yeah. And thr- I'm just curious as a person, throughout your life until you went to Florida and this yeshiva, how were you with recognizing God, religion, um, just that whole, that whole world? Mm-hmm. Where were you up to? Did you recognize it? Was it, you know, relevant? When I was six, I was biking w- in Israel, biking with a friend, and, um, I remember seeing a car backing out of the driveway, and I'm like, I remember thinking, " Ooh, I hope I don't fall where that car is gonna be," and I did. I fell. And because I thought of it, I froze. I'm like, "Oh my God, it, what I, I actually was fearing actually happened," and I froze. And my friend kno- you know, banged on the, on the window and stopped the car, and I was fine. I, at that moment, I thought, " Hashem, you got me." Like, that's when I realized that Hashem was always with me. And since then, like, I traced it throughout my life. I always have that knowing I'm good. It's a, it's a thread Wow. That thread that took you to where you are today. To where I am today, to my friendships, and it really is that thread, when people see it, they recognize it, and they want it. And it's, it's like a flame. It's easy to transfer. That's, uh, you know, the, the story is amazing to me on so many different levels. Um, there's a lot of people that get transported from America to Israel- Mm … the families that do Aliyah. There are families that go from Israel to America like yours did, and there are children that grow up in this process, and many of them have challenges throughout the process. But hearing this, uh, you know, first of all, your parents had the foresight or insight to put you in the right schools- Mm right? Which helped tremendously. Yeah. Um, I'm curious what else happened then after that, like, how your life evolved. Because here's a kid that came from Bnei Brak- Mm … who suddenly is sitting here in front of me today, and who's accomplished so much, and you, you learnt everything that was put in front of you. So kudos to you for recognizing all those different parts that Hashem sent you. Um, and I, I wanna learn more from that in terms of that process. So after you finished Beis Midrash, like, what, what did you do to go out there and, you know, start a family or get a job? Like, tell me through that pro- Yeah … take me through that process of a young immigrant, you know, and how you ended up doing all that and what you learned from that, or something that your parents taught you of how to evolve and become who you are today. Wow It, it was a challenge. It was not easy. My first years, I, I dated… I started dating when I was 21, ' cause that's what was ah, expected. I ended up going out with 116 girls. My wife was number 116. Wow. Um, it was- I'm glad that came up. I'm just so glad. It was rough. You knew that, didn't you? Of course. were You were wondering if I was gonna say it? Yeah, you wanted- Wow to see what comes up here. I was trying to get you to make him say it, but I mean- … you ask him. Like ask him how many girls. But I'm proud of it. I'm proud that it took me that long, and I appreciate my wife so much more. Who was paying for all those dates? Uh, yeah, I had to do that too. My parents covered me for the first little while. Wow. And then, uh, yeah, when I, I moved to New York because it, it wasn't happening. The, the shidduch thing w- wasn't working. So you were dating in LA- Yeah … and you weren't finding the right girl. Right. And after a certain period, you went to New York. Yeah. I, I had to make… It was so much pressure flying to New York to date for the weekend and then coming back. You really, you have to decide right away if you're, if she's the one almost. Put it that way. Because the amount of people that you have choices for in LA are limited, I guess, right? And, and I'm going back to LA and yeah, yeah. I, I would date LA girls in New York. Wow. Yeah, 'cause everyone, everyone went to New York. It was- All right, this is really important by the way, because I do love this topic of dating and, you know, finding the right one, and I see a lot of people that get frustrated because it's just not going. Yeah. You know? And, um, this is giving people hope in hearing about this and just recognizing that you just have to keep going through it, so I wanna learn more about it. So you, you moved to New York. I wanna hear about these challenges and, and of course- Yeah … you know, number 116 was the right one. Yeah. But I, I'd like to know what went through the process of, " Oh my God, I just finished my 100th girl and I'm giving up," and like take me through that process if you can. I, I made it a point to learn something from every girl that I dated, and I remember after I think it was about 80 I-- there were no more lessons to learn. So, so why am I going through this? And I remember one time walking down the street crying, just not knowing what-- why? Why is this happening to me? I remember crying, yelling at nobody, to Hashem. Um, but the truth is that the amount of pain you go through translates to, to the pleasure and, and gold on the other side once you do find the right one. You see that it's all worth it. And the truth is that marriage at the beginning wasn't-- was also rocky. But that it's it's like the darkness turns into light. It's not that you lose the darkness. I'm reading a lot of Sichos these days. It's not that you-- the darkness goes away and now you have light. The dark turns into light. I, I really truly feel like the dark days of my marriage, the dark days of, of being single is now the light of my life And so whatever darkness you're going through, just wait. It gets… That's how light it's, it will be. That's honestly how, how I see it. Yeah. I, I, I- Feel it … I enjoy learning about the sichos, by the way, so you can keep going. Oh, my goodness. I have that brown Chumash in shul, by the way, so, uh- Yeah. That's good. Yeah I used, I've used that for daily aliyot. The best. I, I buy them for literally every shul I visit, 'cause it's the, my favorite thing to talk about on Shabbos is that until I learnt about this Chabad brown Chumash, I would not know what the Torah is talking about, 'cause it's like in riddles almost sometimes, but it just makes it more into a legible story, something that you can- just Yeah read and it makes sense to you and… I, as you might imagine, to write a Dvar Torah on every aliyah of every Parsha is time-consuming. and you have to go through a lot of sources. You know, some, some aliyas are three pesukim long, and there is not many commentaries, right? So I've had to go through a lot. And the amount of beauty, beauty that I'm learning now from Ch- Chabad Hasidus is staggering. How, how, how has this been kept from me for all these years? That's how I feel. I'm like, right? It's, it's beautiful. Every week you're putting out Dvar Torah on every aliyah. Is the… Am I hearing this correct? Yeah. That's an enormous amount of time. Yeah. How much ti- Well, they've been written, so I, but I send them out o- on WhatsApp now for, for those who sign up. Wow, okay. Um, so and, and they're very pointed type of Dvar, like- Practical, useful … practical stuff. Can you tell me- Two, three paragraphs … something you wrote recently that you can share- Mm … with us? I mean, there was so much going on in these weeks' Parshas. I mean- Yeah … love to hear something that, like, you know, how you put it together. You're look- You're not only looking for Chabad sources, you're looking for any source, right? Yeah. Well, I'm actually thinking of, of writing another, another set of Divrei Torah using, uh, Hasidus as sources. Because you have nothing else to do with your time. Right. Might as well. Yeah, okay. If you want something done, you ask the busy people, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So yeah. Um- So tell me something that, uh, you know, w- we're reaching the, the month of Elul, and I'm, I'm on the journey now of making sure that I go into Elul and I go into the new year not scared, not nervous, not thinking I'm going to hell because I did something bad. I, I, I'm, I'm on a journey now, and I hope that my listeners are with me, of finding the love and the happiness of going into Elul and, uh, and, and Rosh Hashanah, the beginning of the new year, and Yom Kippur. So- Yeah … I'd love to hear anything that connects with that so- Do you want a minute to think and then- Yeah. Okay, you think about it. you think, for a minute, and I'll just take a- Yeah … take a second to tell you that I actually wanted to bring you a gift, and I forgot it. It's a book called, really didn't wanna call it a sefer, called Pnei Hashem, and um, it is, it's blown my mind. It's anonymous And this book just goes into Chasidish, and I, I'm frum from birth, and I've, I've learned Torah my whole life, and I literally feel as I… I've now, I'm reading for the second time, where I literally just feel like how could I n- how could someone have never taught me this? I'm on fire. Like every time I read it- What do you mean by it's anonymous, though? What does that mean, anonymous? No one knows who wrote it. No one knows who wrote this book? No And you're blown away by the, by the book? Blown Wow … away. Beyond blown away. Wow. Like, okay, I, I, I bought an… I, I just- So you got me a gift and you didn't give it to me. Yeah, I forgot it. I appreciate that. Thank you. I forgot it. I'll get you next time. I'll get you back. Yeah, yeah. But look, you can get it on Amazon for your listeners. T- trust me, I'm telling you, it'll change… Pnei Hashem, it's on Amazon. And it's in English? It's in English. But not complicated English. Not complicated. Okay. It's super deep. Like, literally as you read it, you read… I read, like, like, I read, like, 15 pages every Shabbos, It took me, like, six months to finish reading, and it changed my life. It ch- literally now, it changed the way I daven, changed the way I make brachos, it changed the way I understand Hashem, changed the way I understand myself. Give me a little bit- It changed the way- of changed the an anecdote of what you're referring to, if you don't mind, when you say this. And then we have to, I guess, while, uh, Shlomo's really, you know, thinking about it, we're gonna have to get a little bit into your life, Jonathan, because you're saying you're frum from- This is great. I, you know- You're frum from birth and you're- I'm, I'm really enjoying this. We should s- stick with Shlomo. Sorry, buddy. I, But listen- We're onto you now … I'm actually really excited 'cause, like, you know, I'm kinda more the, the frontman for Daily Giving, right? Yeah. So I've been on a lot of podcasts. This is Shlomo's first podcast. I'm so excited to- … to be here with him and, uh- Chazak. Thank you, Jonathan. Appreciate it … to shine, shine the light on this, on this, uh, on this light, so. I love it. It's great. Uh, so, so you know, you're saying you're frum from birth- Yeah … and you're relearning it again. That's very important to me, and I'd like hearing about this. You, you feel like, when you read this Torah, you, you feel like it, it's Emes. Like you just reread it? Give me- Okay give me a practical example. Again, we're going into Elo. we're supposed to be scared- Okay … we're supposed to say, "Oh my God, I can't believe I did this, and I'm so sorry." Yeah, that's… Look, we went to yeshivas- Yes … and that's how we were taught. Exactly. We were taught things like God is, like God is the angry man in the sky, and if I do something bad, I'm gonna burn, right? Like that's, like, I don't know. It sounds like how you were… right? So educa- And so so many people still- … so educated … feel like that, right? I mean, Rav Why Why Jacobson, i-i- he, he says, he, he said this thing, uh, I- he said so many things that are just amazing, but this really, this one little anecdote he said a, a couple years ago, like, really changed my life. He talked about Ahavat Hashem and Yirat Hashem. Now, Ahavat Hashem for most people is a little easier to understand, right? Love of God. Like, so it says, like, Hashem loves us more than a parent loves his, his child, right? Now like, that's, like that, in that language, right? 'Cause as a parent, right, like, you, you don't really, don't really know what love is till you have your own child, right? And then, and then you understand what love is more, right? So, so why does he use the words Ha-Hashem loves more than a parent? Because, like, that's like, uh, for anyone to say, like, that's, that's the most love you could have is for a child, right? Hashem loves us more than that. So, so that's Ahavat Hashem. It's a little easier for us to understand. For some people, some people are just trauma. God, you know, just, it's, it's all trauma, right? Like, some people have a really hard time with God, and I understand it, right? But that's one thing. For me, I didn't have a problem with Ahavat Hashem, I had a problem with Yirat Hashem, fear of God, because I was taught, like, if you do this, you're gonna burn. If you do this, you're gonna burn. Like, and, and so then that brings an unhealthy level-- an unhealthy relationship with God also. So Rav YY said something about Yiras Hashem. He s- he explained it in a way I never heard. He basically said… I won't ex- you know, I can't do it justice, but I'll try just to, you know, for- forgive me, Rav Why Why. Um, but he said, he said, "Let's say you're, you're, you have a business trip, and you have, like, a, I don't know, 20-hour flight to Vietnam. And you get off the flight, you're exhausted. You check in the hotel that your room's not ready, and they s- they give you a, a, a free drink at the bar. So you go to the bar, and there's this beautiful woman sits down next to you. She starts talking to you, and the next thing you know, you wake up in the morning and you sinned." Now, he said, "Let's say that person has the most incredible relationship with his wife. I mean, bar none, like he has, he shares everything, complete vulnerability, the closest relationship with his wife, and he wakes up in the morning, his first thought is, not even that if she knows. Doesn't matter if she… He's… she's not gonna find out. The feeling of, 'Oh my God, what did I do?'" That is your Yiras Hashem It's the fear of ruining the closeness and the relationship with God. That is the punishment, right? So and I, I feel this in my bones since then. I understand, like, that the closer I feel to God, the better my life gets. When I feel, when I do something that is misaligned from whatever that is to myself, I feel like I'm doing something that I, I'm not proud of or whatever. It just feels like I sh- I, shouldn't want to be proud of that, then I feel down. I feel, that, that brings, that, that, is the punishment. That is the punishment. We're not … Like newsflash, there is no hell. The hell is you are, you are gonna have, you're not gonna be close to God. Now, some people don't understand that, and I understand. It, it, it's almost like it's, it … I, I, to me, and understanding where I have gone from and, and everything, for me, like I, I, I've lived it, so I know it. I know it's the emes. When I'm, when I'm close to God, when I feel close to God, like that is winning in life. Uh, you, you won me over, by the way. I, I love that. I, I really love that explanation, and it's really deep. Uh, you were saying it, like in a second- Yeah. Yeah … and, you know- Exactly. right YY has the theatrics behind it when he talks about it. Yeah. But I think- That's what chasidus is … this- Like, chasidus is, like reminding you. Yeah. It's like reminding you. You know, like we're taught re- like you learn the whole Torah, and then, like, you know, like, like when you're a baby in your mom's womb and then they, like like they pinch your nose and then you forget everything? feel like that's what, when I read Chasidis, and I re- and I, I literally, I'm like, yes, Emes, Emes, this is the truth. This is the truth." It's like a reminder. It's like revealing what was already there. It's not like I- I'm learning for the first time, but I'm like, "Oh my God, this is true." So in Pnei Hashem, you know, he talks, he brings so many basic things. He's talking about Modeh Ani and Shema Yisrael and Yehay Shmei Raba and Baruch Ata Hashem. We're not talking like, you know, complicated pesukim here. We're talking about like the, the, like the regular stuff we say every single day. I now literally, when I say, you, you know, Amen Yehay Shmei Raba, I think of something else. When I say Baruch Ata Hashem, I think about something else. But he goes, he explains it, he explains the, the, w- each word in a different way that you've never understood. You're like, he just spins the whole thing. You're like, mic drop, mic drop, mic drop. Wow. Thank you for that, Jonathan. Shlomo, we're coming right back to you. Speaking of mic drops, it, this is a, an entire mic drop for me moment, speaking to someone like you who is writing Torah and putting it together and putting it out there. You mentioned NCSY. I want to get to that. I want to understand how you got involved in NCSY. Why did you get involved in it? What did you learn from it, and so on? I want to get into that in a minute, but let's go back to, you know, finding something that's relevant to what we're talking about here, and anything that you can share. Yeah, yeah. So let me use a source 'cause I need the, the passek. It says, " Atem nitzavim hayom kulchem lifnei Hashem elokechem," you are all here before Him. My bar mitzvah parasha. Oh, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. "Rosheichem-" "Shivteichem-" " Shivteichem-" "Zikneichem-" "Zikneichem-" "Veshofteichem-" " Veshofteichem-" "V'kol yisrael" " V'kol yisrael" What stands out? What doesn't fit? What is that? Which one doesn't fit? Which one doesn't f- I don't know. I don't even know what it means. So the heads, your tribes, your elders, your policemen, and everyone else. Okay. Tribes. It's not a-- It doesn't represent a, a particular person. It's a, it's this vague concept of a tribe. What does that mean? So Rabbi Chaim Mervis explains that tribe refers to the leaders, the teachers, the anyone who takes on a position of responsibility. That is something you choose So when we choose to be leaders, it's on us to be the proper leaders, to do it right. Beautiful. So that's the connection of the shotrim and the- Right … and everyone else. So it's not just this vague terminology. of tribe. When did you realize you were a leader? 'Cause you're an obvious leader. When, when, when did this happen? We, we got to the part that you're getting married, and, you know, and we're talking about relationship with, you know, our better halves, right? And I do wanna get into that topic in general 'cause I, I believe truly that the relationship that you have with God is a reflection of your relationship that you have with your spouse, and there's so much to that to talk about. Yeah. And, um, guys, we met at a spa. Mm-hmm. Okay? In a hot tub. In a hot tub, and what, what I was blown away about you guys, not just the two of you, is the group of friends that you had together. And I'm not gonna lie to you, I have, I have quite a few friends, but I was still a little bit, a little a tinge jealous when I saw you guys. And it wasn't because you were frolicking in the hot tub and you were, you know, laughing and enjoying each other's company. It's because You guys, and it's not just the two of you, there's a group of almost 10 of you. I think there's a little bit more than 10 already, right? 10. 10. It's 10? It's, it's, it's on purpose then? Exactly 10. Okay. We had nine for a long time, and we, we, uh- Okay, so you have a minyan of friends, right? Mm-hmm. The 10 of you are ridiculously connected mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and then what I saw, physically. Now, you're gonna say, "Physically? What, what are you talking about?" You guys were talking about deep topics, and you were sharing with each other information about your lives and about your challenges, and that's what turned me on to t- coming to talk to you guys. You were physically on top of one another. You don't even notice it, but I noticed it from the outside. I was like, "These, these guys are connected on a level that I've never seen friends do in my life," and I've been connected to friends. But then as the evening continued and we got out of the hot tub and we went to the spa, and then we went to the, to the room there together to relax and talk, I noticed that you guys were really, really, really connected, and on a next level. So, like, I definitely wanna dive into that, and who you guys are as a group, and what the heck is going on with you guys. I mean- Mm-hmm … why is there only one of you that it's Chabad with a beard, and why are the rest not? I wanna know that also. But I'm joking about that, of course, but again, we're breaking it down. So who are you? How did you become that leader person that can do these types of things and look into these things, and put it out there to the world, and be the leader of a tribe? You are the leader of a tribe, Shlomo. You're putting information out there to thousands of people, and you are essentially a leader of a tribe. Wow. It's your own tribe that you created, so I wanna learn about that. You know, we spoke about NCSY before. Yeah. T- take me through that journey of yours of getting married and being a part of organizations. What made you be a part of it? How… Just, just try to think back a little bit and tell me what it was about you. Wow, what a question. I don't think you've ever heard This is amazing. You should take Michael around more often. The, it started when I ran a chapter for NCSY in LA, Shards Villa, and they asked me, the shul asked me to write a bulletin. And so I read, I I wrote an update what the, the youth program is doing. At what age? I was 23. 23. Okay, so you were- Past the two years of, of Florida. Oh, right. I was back in, in LA, back in- Got it … college, Cal State Northridge. Dating. Sure. Um, and then I thought, I had an epiphany, w- I'm writing anyway, why not share Dvar Torah? It's an opportunity to s- to say something meaningful to these people who may or may not. Like, even if they're not looking for it, let them, uh, s- get something valuable out of it. And so I did that. And then over the years, I accumulated, uh- few divrei Torah, and they were short. I like it short. I like it short and practical. Nothing esoteric, something they can, that, that people can use. I was in NCSY and these NCSYers had Shabbatons, and they needed to speak, and they needed to say a Dvar Torah, and they knew I had a Dvar Torah. So they asked me for, for my Dvar Torah. I'm like, "Of course." I ended up with so many of them, like it made no sense to just gatekeep it, so I published. I published a book called The Weekly Dvar. Um, my favorite story is, one time in Shul, Shacharit Shacharit tefillah, my father and my brother and I went to shul, and the rabbi didn't tell me he was going to do this, but he, his Friday night Dvar Torah was mine. And my father was … Oh, my God, he melted. Wow. He melted, and I, I cried that he was proud of me, and I cried that the rabbi thought of it, and it was just a beautiful moment. Like, why wouldn't I want more of that? So that, that, I, I, I don't see myself as a leader, but I guess if you defined, you know, sharing Hashem's beauty as, uh, leading that effort, then sure. So tell me about NCSY then. You got involved in, at, at, a later date, right? In your late- Yeah, I wasn't in high school. mid-20s. Yeah. So you're getting involved in them, and you went to their outings, you went to their programs, like- I went to the Shabbaton, and I was known as Mr. NCSY. Why? How? How did you become known as Mr. NCSY? Right? NCSY is a huge program. Yeah. Like, you know, you have to be a somebody to be a somebody in NCSY. Right. Right? Yeah … So what is it that you did that connected people? I focused on not the main crowd, but those kids in the back that didn't have anyone to connect with. That's who I connected with. Um, and, and the more I saw of that, the more I realized w- I… Someone needs to be doing this, and no one is, and so I had to… I, b'malchut Shmayim ish, you gotta do what you gotta do. So I'm the guy in the back, and I'm at a program, and I'm alone. What are you doing? So I developed this game I just, I don't think you know this either. If you take a bottle cap and you flip it a certain way- I am the best at that. Are you? I, I can hit any target. I'm not kidding. Okay. Can you hit it against the wall and have it come back to you? Oh, I've never done that before. It's a skill. Oh. It's a skill. Plus, I can curve it. I could throw it a certain way and it, it goes around people. Oh my. That was my shtick. Are you really good at it though? Um… We gotta play this later. I do, I do this at, like, Shabbat breakfast, you know, when I'm sitting and it's boring. Yeah. And there's a speech. I'll take a bottle cap and like that across the room. Oh, yeah. But I'll make sure not to hit the person in the face, obviously. Oh, I can… I… When I was good- Yeah … I could drop it, I could drop it into that cup. There's no way. Get him a bottle cap. There's no way. That's great. Okay, so what do you do? So you come over to me, I'm alone, I'm quiet. Right. Yeah. We start playing games and talking and, you know, they open up. Right. They just need someone to, you know, share. Right. you're, you're finding the common ground. You're finding something- Yeah … easy to connect with someone- Yeah … and saying, "Hey, let's…" For whatever reason, people connect with me, I connect with them. I see that now. The… I, I, I'm starting a new coach- coaching career and people just… I, I'm not even ready to advertise being a coach, but people just approach me. I have- You know, I want to tell you something. Rabbi Kalish, um, Waterbury, he was once asked about his amazing memory, how it's possible that he remembers everybody's brother and sister, and his simple answer was, "Because I care." Mm. When you pay attention because you care, you start to remember. I think that's what I'm getting out of you. You're, you're very, very attentive. You know how to pay attention. You're paying attention, though, to the things most people are not paying attention to, So I think why you jumped at this daily giving opportunity and it's why you did the NCSY thing and, and it's just something to learn from in terms of knowing that this is something that if someone's not paying attention to something, you're paying attention to it, and that is really an amazing thing. So I want to learn more about it. I want to get a little deeper into that. So you're, you're getting involved in NCSY, you get married. You're living where at this time when you first got married? I'm… Riverdale. You already had a job at that point? Yeah, I was doing NCSY full time. I was the- Oh regional director of Westchester. Oh, okay. In Riverdale. The Westchester chapter and Riverdale. region. It was a region. Oh, the region. a region, yeah. Okay. Okay, so you're really an NCSY guy. Yeah. Okay, so you're in charge of this program, of this region, and this is your full-time job? Full-time job for two years. My, my goodness. Okay, so then how did you come to doing what you're doing now? I mean- Yeah … tell me about that. Yeah. So- Because a lot of people, by the way, I just want you to know that, um, I, I love doing career guidance. I think you've stopped- Yeah, yeah I mean, right? And we talk a- about this topic a lot, like what should someone do when they come back from yeshiva? A 20, 21-year-old boy or girl, I mean, girls, they tend to have better ideas of all the Ts, the OTs, the T- Mm-hmm … right? There's a… And there's like, you know, there's a path, uh, forward, nursing, teaching, so on, which I, which I think is great. But for guys, it's very, very challenging. Mm. You went to running an NCSY program, and it took you on a path of success, and I think it's great. I, and, and I wanna learn from that. So I'd like to learn how you did that and what, what happened for you. Yeah. Um, so I had an MBA and the… Well, not how I got the NCSY gig, right? Yeah. How I moved on from that. Yeah. I asked for a raise, and they said no. That'll do it. Yeah. Thank God they said no. Yeah. Uh- Isn't that interesting how that works? Yeah. One door closes. And I'd done some day trading on the side, and that experience was good for someone in the White Plains community who just got a bunch of money to run, and he needed someone who doesn't know what they're doing, who he could train to do it the way he likes to do it, he wants it done. And so he taught me Excel. He taught me everything I know. He, he changed my life. Wow. Let's shout him out. I mean, it's- Uh, he passed away a coup- uh, uh, 12 years ago, I think it was. Well, it's Shamir Shavina Lehavot. Yeah. David Geller. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Beautiful soul. That's amazing. So he taught you this world- Yeah and took you on as, like, a mentor, I guess. Yeah. What are the things that you learned from him? Uh, as little human interaction with numbers as possible. What do you mean by that? If you ha- if you can have it work in Excel where you're not actually futzing around with the numbers, you're better off. I see. Unless- let- the systems do the work. Find, create a system. The spreadsheet I have now is beautiful. It runs itself. You just feed the numbers that you need to feed it, and it, it runs itself. He would've loved the world of AI- Yeah … that we have now. Yeah. Are you utilizing AI at all in your life? Not enough. Okay. That's, that's fair. I need some experts to help me with that. Um, guys, I, I do wanna get to the point of knowing how you guys all became this group, and- Mm … were you always Chabad? I wanna g- just No …touch upon that for a second. No, not, not until we met our friends. Oh, that, this was a cohesive group of people that became Chabad together, you're saying? Or- No. No, like f- four or five of them are Chabad, like, grew up Chabad. Okay. Some of their parents are, like, l- like, they literally grew up at the foot- footsteps of the Rebbe. Okay. Um, like, their parents are, you know, very much Chabad families. And the rest of you- And the rest of us just love, love, we love what the Rebbe stands for. We love for, we love Achdus. We love, we just love Jews. We love, we love- That is fascinating to me. Yeah … because when I- Like, if I, if I could meet one person in all, in the history of the, you know, the world, if I could meet one person, I wanna sit with the Lubavitcher Rebbe. Like, like, that, I, I just always felt akin to his soul of- What would you ask him? Ooh, on the spot. I don't know what I'd ask him How do I get 15 million Jews to give tzedakah daily, every day? What a great question. Wow, okay. Yeah. Uh, that's a good one. Y- y- you're passionate about growing this daily giving thing, and I love that. Uh, we gotta break you down a little bit too. I'm sorry. I think we should stay on this level. You're not getting away with it. You- You're not getting away with it. You're from Minnesota. Yeah. Um- Shout out to my parents who just moved to Teaneck, New Jersey. They were 50 years in Minnesota, and they moved last week. Wow, what a move. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah, it's really exciting. All right. So there's three Jews left in Minnesota now? It's, It's, bigger than people think. They- it's, it is a great place to grow up, and, uh, it's a wonderful community. Yeah, no, it is a nice community. I do have a couple of friends from there, so, um, they were always my a nice out of town friends. Which was, Yeah …which was always nice. So you grew up in Minnesota? Yeah, I grew up in Minnesota. Um, where, where's… Tell me about your family. Where's your family from? Where are your parents from? Tell me about your journey of growing up in Minnesota. Well, I want you to Before we get to me, I just want There's, tell them about your grandfather about the tzedakah also. Like, there's something, both of our grandparents, I just realized this as we're talking, we both have crazy- Oh, yes stories of our grand- of our grandfathers. But s- but stop- me- I'm so happy you're saying this- Yeah … 'cause I love bringing up people's history- Yeah … and where they're from. It's a big part of who we are. So you started, like, getting into his history, but I just- Yeah … I, I wanted to bring up his grandfather. You want to talk about his grandfather first? Yeah. Let's do that. So your grandfather that you mentioned earlier from Hungary, that- That lived in Bnei Brak. Yeah. He was gabbai tzedakah- Oh … of the shul. That was his j- That's why we moved to Bnei Brak. That's why he moved to Bnei Brak, not 'cause we were Hasidim, because he, uh, that's what he did. Got it. And he used to… He decided who got, who got tzedakah, uh, for the shul, and oftentimes he would, he would give his own money. And one time he was taken advantage of, and he never recovered from that. And I learned an important lesson. If you're gonna give, make sure it's the right person or the right organization. You gotta back up a little bit. What do you mean taken advantage of? You gotta explain that. What do you mean? He ran off with his money. Someone ran off with the money, you're saying? Yeah. So he was, he was responsible for a certain amount of money to give to someone, to do something with, that was supposed to be for the community? So the community- Yeah he, he gave on… He gave what he was supposed to. Yeah. But he gave personally. Oh. And it, it killed him. Really? Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. We're talking about, I'm imagining, a large sum of money- I don't even know the exact amount …For those days or whatever it was, but also- It was enough to, to really- To really hurt him. Yeah. So he stopped doing that after that? Yeah. No, he, he, he wasn't well after that. He just never recovered. Wasn't, that was not the part of the story Crazy. I wasn't gonna focus on, but- Yeah … but just the fact that his, his grandfather- Yeah, yeah was the guy Was, that … but also, like, Shlomo, like, that's the kind of person Shlomo is. Like, he, he, he, he doesn't just hear about tzedekahs or direct people, he's always giving his own money towards the different tzedakah. Right. And he's like- It's in his DNA. Yeah. And I have a crazy DNA tzedakah story too. Let me hear it. So that's why I was like- Please. Um- So where are your grandparents from then? All four of my grandparents are Holocaust survivors. Oh, wow. And, um, and I was part- always particularly close with my mother's father, who was a, um, I think when they were about… I think my mom was… My mom was born in a DP camp in Poland, and then they moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts. I think first they were in Cleveland for a very short amount of time, and then my zeidy became this shamas of a shul in, in, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where he, he was basically the spiritual leader of the community for, uh, I think 60 years. He died when he was 92. Wow. And, uh, my most prized possession is a Megillah, uh, that my zeidy gave to me, and, um, I learn from it every year. And, uh, it's in, like, a fireproof safe. And, um, he gave it to me. I remember the day he gave it to me, and he said, he was about 90 when he gave it to me, and he said, um, "A man in my shul gave this to me." He said, "I got this from my grandfather, who got it from his grandfather, who got it from his grandfather." And he said, "But none of my, none of my grandchildren are, will know what to do with this, so why don't you give it to your grandchild?" And, um, he gave it to me. And, uh, yeah, so that's just a side point. Wow. But I was always very connected to, to my zeidy. And my zeidy, um- He, just to give you an idea, like literally people thought he was a lamed vovnik. Like that's the kind of person he was. And, um, for many years people, people would ask me, "Why do you think you had this chizuk of starting Daily Giving?" I was like, "Well, ' cause of my zeide." Like it's not even a question. Um, and um, and my zeide is, o- one of the stories, Rav Yo- Yo- Yoel Gold did a, a video about my grandfather. And, um- Oh, I wish Shushi was there. It's his brother-in-law, by the way. Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Such a special guy. So you could- Do it justice. Yeah. So- Come on, you got this … so, so basically my zeide was like- So there was a story. Yeah. So he was like, I'm not exaggerating, he was like 4'7". Like really my zeide was like a small, small man. And, um, he was, um, basically the first day of the war, he was, he was, he was like, um, teaching in a cheder or something and they just took him off. He never saw his family again. They just took him away, and he was in Siberia for seven years, in the gulags in Siberia. And he was this little man, and he'd look around at all these much bigger men. who they were all getting the same ration, like less than like a piece of bread for the whole day. Um, and he would break off his piece of his bread every day and give it to a- another man, 'cause he saw they were bigger and they needed more. And you can imagine that b- besides his other great, great things he did and why he, he ingratiated himself with other people, but that was one in particular. Um, one day my zeide, he would get up early, and he'd put on tefillin in secret in his, in the barracks. And one day they raided the barracks, and they caught my zeide with his tefillin on, and they thought he was a spy. They thought like somehow it was something he, whatever, and they wanted to make an example out of him, and they wanted to kill him in front of everyone. And so they took him out, and then there's like a big circle, and they literally were like raising their guns to shoot him, and all the people, these, these, all these people who he had saved, were like yelling and screaming, and the two guards literally thought they were gonna riot against them, so they put the guns down, and they decided to let him go And, um, and my zeidy, like, their, my, my mom was so poor, like when they grew up. like if, if the, if the school would say, "You know, you need three pencils," my, my zeidy would be like, "We can only afford one." Like they really lived in poverty. My mom and her two sisters, they, like shared a bed. Three, three girls, they shared a mattress. Uh, like, you know? And, um, but every single day when they came home, they had, like, this little, um… One day, like a life insurance salesman came by, and my zeidy, like listened to the pitch, so they gave him this, like, I have it now. It was a gift. It was gifted to me, this little tzedakah box. Well, it became my zeidy's tzedakah box, where you put a penny, a nickel, or a quarter, and it counts. You, you, you hit the thing and it, it's really cool. So the girls, like would love it, and they would, like literally fight over who got to give that day's penny into the tzedakah. And every single day, even though they were so poor, they would give tzedakah. And I didn't find out that story till after, like several years after Daily Giving started, just to give you an idea, like DNA passing through of tzedakah. Wow. So- It's amazing to see that both of you come from that- Yeah … world, and you didn't even know that when you met, and it just connected all the way through. Yeah. It's like, uh, like you were saying earlier, since you were six years old, you know? God's been looking out for you and connecting you to the right people. Let's keep going, bro. We gotta do this. Okay. So Minnesota, you're growing up. You have siblings? Yeah, three siblings. Three siblings. I'm second. I have an older sister who's one year older than I am, and then a younger sister and a younger brother. Okay. What was it like? What was happening there? What was the environment like? There was a, there was a great, a great school called Torah Academy. Shout out Torah Academy in St. Louis Park, Minnesota. Still there today. It's, uh… And I, it was through eighth grade. It was like a regular great upbringing. You know, small town. Nice. I I graduated eighth grade with, like, maybe eight, nine, or 10 kids in my class. And my parents gave me a choice. They said, my older sister, who graduated a year before me, she went to Frisch. She lived with my aunt and uncle in Monsey, and they offered for her to live with them, and she did. She went, and she went to Frisch, but they already had their own kids and my sister, so they, they're like, it was a lot, so they, um, so they didn't really… Whatever. a- uh, it wasn't a choice for me, and my parents said, "Do you wanna go a like looking back, school, a secular private school in Minnesota, and we'll give you, you know, you'll, you'll, you'll have private Torah tutors, or do you wanna go away to somewhere else?" And so I ended up deciding to go to Skokie Yeshiva for four years. What a decision to make, by the way, at such a young age. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah, and I'm thinking back, like, my parents really left it up to me. They really did. They did not… I, like, looking back, and there's a lot of things that they did, you know, they never, I never felt pressured into any decision I made. They really supported me in, in all the decisions I made, and going away at 13 years old to high school, it's, it's, uh, I mean, like, I have a 19-year-old and a 16-year-old, like, just thinking now, like, how young I was. I mean, it really shaped a lot of who I am, and in fact, some of the skills that I think really serve me for Daily Giving I got from those days being in, in the yeshiva, of, of being the out-of-towner, and, like, on Sunday I wanted to go to someone's house to watch a football game. I had to go ask someone, like, "Can I come over to watch Right …the football game?" Like, you had to, you had to, you had to be able to… If you didn't fend for yourself, you didn't ask, you know… And that, and that was really the start of me not being afraid to ask people for things, and I think that's, uh, you know… I was just talking to my friend today about my favorite equation, which, uh, you know, probably for some- someone listening will, it'll be helped by. It's my favorite equation. It says SW cubed over N, which means some will, some won't, so what, next. You're in business. You run a successful business, and you know, like, we're always selling. Doesn't matter what you're doing, you're always selling. And so I just wasn't afraid to ask. Like, as a small kid, so when I, when I started Daily Giving and we were, we, we were trying, like, I remember, like, we started January 1st, 2019. In March, Shlomo and I went to APAC together. We brought 1,000 business cards, and w- there, there were none. We, we gave out 1,000 business cards, and we did not put them on chairs. We had 1,000 conversations, right? And out of those 1,000 conversations, at least 100 people, at least 100, I'm being… At least 100 said, "This is a no-brainer. We're for sure gonna sign up." Guess how many signed up? 90? Six. Six? Six out of a thousand. But I'm saying the hundred we're like, "We're gonna do it." That was a big lesson also, just, you know, even for your listeners, if, if something we said today, if something resonates and you, and you, you're like, "Wow, that's a good idea," I'm telling you, for your listeners, we're underselling how great Daily Giving is. When you join it, you're gonna like it more than any stuff that you give to. Uh, it's dailygiving.org, and it takes literally one minute, and then you can just pause this podcast and go right now and sign up. It takes literally 30 seconds. You… And you will… Like I said before, we don't realize the profound effect that giving has on us, because life is hard. We, we, uh, we all know a lot of people, like, and we, when, we, the three of us, we're all super blessed, right? And I mean, we're all blessed. We're the same. We won the cosmic lottery to be born in this time, that we're Jewish, and that we're born in 2000, you know, in, in, when we were born, in the '70s or '80s or whatever, right? Like, and, and we're living today, and we have all the, the, this, the … Forget our Teslas and our, you know, the air conditioning, Like, you know, running water and all the other stuff, right? But we're so, so, so blessed. But life is hard. There's so many things that we have difficulty. And, um, and, and really, I truly mean this, it's like Sechar mitzvot mitzvah. I didn't understand what that meant till tzedakah, right? But, like, the reward that you get for giving is that you're a giver. That is the reward. Because when you feel, like, when you know in your heart, the heart's like you're a giver, that's what, that's one of the things that could really help you with self-love, right? To really, really know, like, you're good And so, uh, and, and And it's really not always about the amount, it's the frequency. So it's not the dollar, it's the daily. And so it's a muscle. Like, that's what the Rambam says, right? Like, oh, just like a saying, the Rambam says. No, it's real, right? Like, if you give and you give again, and you give again, g- Hashem made it so hard for us to give. We work so hard for our money. Now, except for Shlomo. Shlomo, it's easy for him to give. He loves to give, right? For, for most of us humans, it's actually really hard for us to part with our money, and it's on purpose because it's such an incredible thing for us if we become givers, and what it does for us that we don't know. I didn't know. I didn't know till now what it's like, but now that I've become a giver, like I see what it does. And so it's a muscle, and just like any muscle, you have to exercise that muscle, and the more you do, and the more you do, the more it grows, the more it grows, and then before you know it, you're like, "Oh my gosh, I'm a giver." Let me ask you a question. You, you, you guys know about giving and about charity, and you mentioned something a minute ago, uh, a little while ago. I want to touch upon that. You have a rabbinical committee. Has anybody ever discussed with you what you're allowed to deduct before you give charity? And Shlomo, I think I want to direct this question a little bit more to you because, uh, you know, y- he, he… Jonathan mentioned earlier that you were the one that created the system for 10%, and you spoke about it, and, you know, you wanted to make sure there's a process. You know Excel spreadsheets. You guys both have a rabbinical committee. I have a little experience with this, but I want to know what you guys say. I, uh, I'm a young man. I'm married with one kid, and I make $100,000 a year, and, um, between my wife and I, and that's after taxes, $80,000, let's say, right? Nothing went out to expenses yet. A- according to your understanding of giving and from what your research has been, because I know you guys like to do research and you're finding the truth and things, so how much of that do I have to give? Do I give 10% of the 100? Do I give 10% of 80? What else can I deduct from it? Do you ever research this topic before? I mean, it's a, it's a, it's definitely a machloket- Yeah. As you can imagine. Like, there's a lot of different opinions on this. Okay, I'd like to hear your opinions. Yeah. I would say that you pay t- you give 10% of the 80, of the net. That's what I do. Yeah. Okay. Can you deduct anything? I would say, uh, I was told at the time when, you know, when we were starting out, that education, kids' educa- education can be counted, or you can give… You can use maaser money to pay for, for Jewish day school or sfarim. I see. So just the Jewish part of the school? You ever think about that? Are they separate? Interesting. You, you haven't, you guys haven't thought about this more than this, have you? I mean, I have a little bit. Yeah. Um, like I was just, um, talking to someone recently about this, that I used to consid- Like I said, when, before I… Now I'm very careful about 10%, so… And I'm very passionate about this, like, about starting donor-advised funds. Like, it's so simple now. Like, it's never been easier, where you can- Right … literally take one minute and, um, go to the donor fund, Pledger, Matbea, Jewish Communal Fund. There's like, there's endless- My, my perims are so chilled right now- Ah, it's great because I have booklets. The checks, the now- Ah, have 18 booklets. booklets. I have booklets. I have 36 job. I have $18 booklets. The booklets are still- I have $36 booklets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're amazing, right? Whoever doesn't give to any of these organizations- Right … is just missing out, because it's just- Let's just, let's take a minute to explain to your listeners- Yeah … 'cause there's actually, it's crazy, some people still don't understand this concept. Please do. Okay. Go for it. So what a donor-advised fund is, is that, again, you can go to any of these websites, you sign up. Uh, um, I'm, you know, I'm not giving the mega bucks, right? So there are… If you're giving mega bucks, you could do it where, where they actually… Let's say you have hundreds of thousands of dollars in your tzedakah fund. They will manage it, and then the money can go up, right? That, that's even possible. You have to have a minimum. But I'm talking, like this could be someone, like a new… I, I love talking to young people about this. Like, you get your first job, start one of these funds. You go on, it takes five minutes to sign up, literally, and then every time you get paid, Like Shlomo taught me this. For years, Shlomo had a segregated account. Shlomo. So every time he got paid, he just moved 10% or whatever the number, he put aside to the tzedakah account. Like automati- He had it done automatically. So what I do with the donor-advised fund is every time I get paid, at, well, you know, checks, whatever, the tax has already been taken out, boop, I just go on the app, it takes three seconds, ba-boom, I click it, it's out of my bank account. Now it's in the tzedakah account. Now, as a, just for a second to talk about taxes, like now, that is fully tax-deductible for this current year. It doesn't mean you have to give it out this year, so you could decide, you know? And I mean, I, I, I'm a big fan of giving it out and not keeping too much in the account, right? Um, but that's b- the basic gist of what a donor-advised fund is. And guess what happens? What happened to me? I'll just tell you, speak for myself. When you do that- You start giving more, and you give more. It's so much easier to give when it's in the tzedakah account. When someone asks you for money, you're not like, "Oh, should I, shouldn't I?" You're just like, "Yes." Like, just to give you an idea, you know, like these w- there's so many, like, WhatsApp groups are, like, asking for tzedakah. So I used to, like, my standard was I'd just g- whatever. If Someone asked, 36, 36, 36. But then, all of a sudden, like, it's in there, so, like, all of a sudden now it's 72, and then I do 108. Like, just, I don't even know who I… I don't even read it, who I'm g- right? Like, it just, it becomes easier. The money has been put aside, and so it becomes so much easier. And like I said, I can just tell you how I feel. Like, I, I know I'm a giver now. Like I, I, and I gave in other ways before. Like, I was a counselor at Camp Hask. Like, I, I was a good person, but it's a totally different thing. Um, I, I just, I just think that I've just seen it over and over and over again in my own, in my own life. Like, the more tzedakah I give, I feel like the more bracha I get. And not that you should do it for bracha. Like, I, I'm not into that, right? Like, I really think they get… The, the reward you get for giving is that you're a giver. That is the reward. But, um, yeah, it's, uh, it, it's, it's the best. So thanks to- Yeah, no … Shlomo. I- Shlomo, Shlomo taught me. So- I agree with you, and, and kudos to the both of you. Whether you're giving, uh, according to your local Orthodox rabbi prior to your child's education for Torah or not, that's up to you, I guess. Yeah, I'm just curious … So, uh, back to your question, right. Yeah. So, so I, I now give it besides tuition, 10% besides tuition. Right. But I- I know there are lots of rabbis that say, you know, if you don't have, if you don't have enough to give- Right … then your tuition counts. Right. And I, and I get it. A- a- and it makes sense. So, uh, you, uh, w- went through high school in Skokie? Yep. And- Went … then what? And what- Then I went to yeshiva in Israel … what makes, what makes someone like you become a chiropractor is what I wanna know, but then what happened? Yeah. Uh, so I spent a year and a half in Mevaseret- Okay … now known as Mevs, where my son is now, Shaul Yehuda Bet there. Nice. Shout out to Mevs. And, uh, did a year and a half there, and then I went to YU for the rest of college. Um, had a good experience there. I met my wife in Israel, Shaul Alef. Like, we were, like, 17, you know, 17, 18, whatever, so- Scandalous … scandalous, yeah. So, um, yeah, we, we did it all through, all through YU and Stern, and then, um- Wow, so your first, your first girl you're saying, I guess. Uh, I mean- yeah, yeah, it's like- it's like- yeah first, real Yeah, yeah. yeah … yeah, first, like, real girlfriend. Yeah, yeah. The, the inverse of me. Yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Wow. I had- I had two other, like, whatever, non, you know- Yeah yeah. But this is meaning, like, uh, as far as when you're serious, ready to get married- Yeah … type of thing. Yeah. 'Cause when you're 17, you're getting married, right? Yeah, exactly. Like, that's it. Exactly, yeah. So- So that's amazing. Yeah, so went through, you know, um, thank God- So you went to YU, and you moved where when you went back to New York? Um, I, I lived on campus, NYU. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then I would, during the summers I went home to Minnesota or I was in Camp HASC, whatever, so- Got it um, got married very young. We got married at 21, and, um, yeah, then I, I, I always… I actually was gonna go into business. Um, I always had, like, a pretty good business mind, and I was in Sy Syms, and then I went to Camp HASC, and I spent the summer, seven weeks, taking care of special needs children, and I was like, "I really wanna help people. I just wanna…" I mean, um, so I decided to be a doctor, and then it was, like, a quest of like what kind of doctor do I wanna become? I come from a family of a lot of doctors. Um, you know, one uncle is, is a infectious disease doctor. One unc- one, one of my older cousins is a, is an allergist. One uncle is a podiatrist. Uh, my sister became a dentist, you know, so a lot of different things. that that was a question. I, I, I really always loved sports. I loved playing sports. I loved watching sports. I loved fantasy sports. I loved sports, and I knew that, you know, at, uh, 5'8", I was never gonna become a professional athlete, so I was like, "Okay, I wanna be, I wanna treat athletes." That became my goal And, um, I'm one of the few chiropractors that, like, didn't actually have an experience where I was helped by a chiropractor first. I had never been to a chiropractor when I decided, like, let me go look. And I, and I visited chiropractic offices, and I just… I remember this experience where I sat with this chiropractor in Minnesota, and I, and I shadowed him for a day. And this, um, this, this gentleman walked in, and he was, like, crooked, and he, like, he could barely move, and he said, like, his daughter was getting married, like, later in the week. And he, like, he was, like, in tears. He's like, he's like, "I just want to be able to dance at my daughter's wedding." And I, and I shadowed him that week, and I saw, um, this, him just nurse this guy back to health, and he was able to dance with his daughter at his wedding. And he was like, the, the amount of hakaras hatov this guy had, I was like, "Wow. Like, I want to do that. Um, I want to help people get out of pain." And, um, it's been a rewarding 20-year experience, and now I'm kind of seeing patients much less as I kind of go into daily giving more and more full time. And what a bracha. I, I always felt like, you know, as a chiropractor, like, one of the biggest things that was amazing is, like, the kiddush Hashem I got to make. Like, 90, over 90% of my patients are not Jewish, and I wear a kippah every day, and, and, and y- have over 10,000 patients. And I, I remember this one woman who came in from Jamaica, um, to see me, and, and I would… I treated her for a couple months and before she went back, and she told me that… You know, she was saying, like, now, 'cause her, her congregation in, uh, her, you know, her, her Christian con- c- congregation in, in, in the Caribbean, like, they always pray for Israel and but she'd never met a Jew, and now she's gonna, like, think of me every, every time when they think of, you know, pra- you know, praising Israel. Like, just there's so many opportunities. Like, I, I, I f- I don't… N- no judgment, but, like, I, I feel when, like, when Orthodox Jews don't wear their kippah to work, like, what a, what a shame. Like, a what a, what a lost opportunity of a kiddush Hashem. So I always felt like one of the things I was so proud of as being a chiropractor is, like, the the kiddush Hashem I got to have so often with non-Jews. Like, I was the only Orthodox person they ever met, so really, really, really loved that experience and- Wow, that's amazing. So you're not just, uh, breaking people's backs, right? You're not just cracking the knuckles and just, like- Yeah … right? Yeah. You know, we're like, we're, like, half, half doctors, half, like, physical doctors and getting them, nursing them back to health- Yeah and half, like, psychologists, you know? Just- Oh, really? Okay. Yeah. yeah. I mean, you know? That's- A lot of physical pain is emotional pain. That's true. Mm-hmm. That is true. Uh, and, and I've, I've, I've experienced that as well. Yeah. You know, when you're stressed You know, suddenly you're feeling your back is hurting and you're, you know, you're getting into pain and so on. So it's related- Yeah, very much so … uh, the emo- emotional and physical part, which is great. Uh, we're gonna have to wrap s- uh, w- wrap, up soon, but before we, we, we even think of ending, we gotta talk about your friend group here. I need to know how, um, how you guys connected. So first of all, for HIPAA reasons, Sadia has told me very openly he's okay with me sharing this story- that he's my patient. Sadia had, uh, severe back problems, it was during COVID, and Sadia came to me for a couple months. He had a really severe problem. And I mean, the first, like, six months I knew him, like, we d- we had masks on. I didn't even know what he looked like, you know? And, um, I was his chiropractor, and we became really close. And, um, and, uh- Then he recommended Sadia for me 'cause at the time I was having, uh, issues, uh, marital issues, and so I hired Sadia and he absolutely changed our lives. Wow. Yeah, and so Saja's very talented I'm saying a lot of talented. Yeah. Well, you just dropped on me like that, like- Yeah. Yeah. So for- What, what, what… Who is he? Like, who was he to you when you met him? Like, what was he other than just- So, so he was my patient- Yeah … and we became friends. Yeah. They, uh, they teach you in chiropractic school, "Don't become friends with your patients." Right. I never listen to that. I, I, I play golf with lots of my patients and, uh, yeah, I've just never… It's just not who I am. So we became very close, and it was Saja's 40th birthday, "Let's make a 40th birthday party for Saja," so we did. And there were, like, eight or nine of us there, and that was the beginning. And- Really? Yeah, That was it. So he just came along during that. It was a magical, it was a magical night. I came just 'cause I knew him ' cause- Yeah, I'd, I had already- … we worked together … introduced him, I had already introduced Saja, so, um- As, he- you introduced him as a coach, as a- Started out as a coach. Yeah And then- Someone as a coach, as a- And then stopped using him as a coach, but then he became a friend. Wow, so this, so the birthday parties are what put you all together. The birthday parties are what brought that… In, in fact, like, I didn't know everybody there. There's, like, I think four guys I didn't know. Like, we just let me know- That he brought or was- Uh, yeah … yeah. It was his birthday. Like, his, two of his brother-in-laws came. Yeah, and they're part of the group now. Uh, they're part, yeah, they're like our best friends in the world. Like, these are like- That's amazing. Yeah, and like you said, you, you… It was funny, I remember so clearly you get into the hot tub and within five minutes you're like, " Whoa, guys, can we just stop for a second?" You're like, "What, what twilight zone did I just walk into?" 'Cause you saw the closeness, and, like, what we have is, is very unique and very special. Yeah. And, uh- Wow yeah, We- And w- what I'm mesmerized about the most is, and it's just wild, just have to say two things about this, uh, discussion. Number one is I was six year old, years old when I recognized Hashem and I fell off my bike. Wow. And, uh, when you said it, I had chills, but I didn't wanna interrupt you. So just connecting with you guys, even connecting with you in the hot tub that night and schmoozing with you and just realizing that you're there to help each other, which is so phenomenal, talking openly about marriage and challenges and, and really figuring out how to get through these humps together, it's just phenomenal. Really, really is. I'm just, like, I'm, I'm appreciative of you guys as a, as a group of friends and just listening to all of it and just accepting it. But even more than that, literally for the past two weeks, I've been telling this to everyone who would listen. If you stub your toe, there's a good reason why Hashem made you stub your… I, I swear I've been saying this for like- Wow. Yeah … everyone around me. I'm like, because you don't know that you're gonna end up going to a doctor, and that doctor's gonna have a shidduch for your niece, and that's gonna all pr- Wow. And that's why you stubbed your toe. And I'm, I ca- Wow … I've, I've been saying this for weeks now, and here you are telling me- The whole thing started from that this entire group- Yeah … started from stubbing your toe And you don't under- you don't understand how many lives have been changed from it because, like, we're all, we're all, like, broadcasters. You know, like, we're all connectors. Like, what we don't realize going through life is how important male friends are because there's a piece, there's, like, Shlomo and I have incredible relationships with our wives, but it wasn't always that way. And what we understand now is that there's certain things that are not really better not to share with your wife. Now, I'm, I, I'm, I'm not saying, like, hi- I'm not talking about hiding things, but there's certain, like, you understand when you learn about masculinity and femininity, like what the, b- you know, there's certain things that, like, you know, if you're, if you're There's certain things that it's better to, to go to a friend with and not burden your wife with a certain thing or whatever where, where, where she's not gonna feel safe, right? Like, a, a, a woman ha- wants to feel safe with her husband, right? We're the giver and they're the receiver. I'm not getting into the whole thing, whatever, right? But that's sad- Please get into it …well, that sad is, that sad is- Love it … that sad is Godless. Sad- It's okay. You can get, you can give him an aleluia yeah, yeah He'll be here soon Look, I mean, yeah, he'll be here soon. I, I would just say, yeah, so, so men's groups, what, what, what's so powerful is when you have group of, of men who learn to be vulner- like we're, what we're, we're, we're Orthodox Jews. We, we, we were taught that crying and vulnerability and, and is weakness. And now all of a sudden you learn that when you, when you, when you share, and like there's literally the times there's nothing we don't know, there's nothing we don't share, okay? When someone's having trouble, we, we, we all know about every part of our, our lives. Like, the, the, the way we level each other up is so incredible. So we'll, we'll learn to be better husbands, and better fathers, and better business people, and better eved Hashem. we each learn a certain thing from each other. But back to the, what I'm trying to say about men's groups and understanding that, like, what you saw is that… I mean, I remember that night. I remember being in a room, and I remember, like, one of the guys was having stru- a certain struggle with his wife, and he was so upset. He was so angry. And first we just, like held space for him and just, like, listened And, and then, uh, and then it happened to me that, like, I saw a different perspective. Like I, I actually-- He was so angry about something with his wife, and after he finished, like, you know, ranting about it, and we listened, and we hold… I said, "Do, you, do you want us just to hold space, or do you want to hear my perspective on it?" And he said, "No, I really wanna hear your perspective." And I was prepared to not say anything. And then I was-- And then I, and then I, I basically told him what I saw his wife's perspective. And because he was hearing it from me, like a guy, and I was just saying, like, "I hear you, and I, I understand. and I totally understand where you're coming from, man. It's not easy. It's not right or wrong. It's not you're right and she's wrong, or you're-- or she's right and you're wrong. It's not that. It's-- They're, they're-- You're both right. But you-- This like, like so many things in Judaism, there's a paradox. Like y- both y- two things can be true at the same time. You're both right, you're both wro- You're both right. But do you wanna be right and happy, or do you-- you… Like, right? It's about like she has her feelings, and you have your feelings, and feelings can't be wrong. So if your wife feels a certain way," this is like a, like a lesson I've learned, am I right? Like, if your, if your wife feels something and you think, like, "Well, that's it's ridiculous." How many times as husbands do we feel like that's ridiculous when our wife feels something? But like it's their feelings, so they can't be wrong. So do you wanna, do you wanna be a happy marriage and, and, and, and deal with that and-- or, and be right, like, "Oh, I'm right and she's wrong," or do you wanna like sit and hold space and… and a lot of times with women, it's like, you know, if you just, if you just hold space and let w- let women, you know, have their emotions, z- like we're not, we're not-- as men, we're not comfortable. We can't hold our own pain. That's the problem. We haven't learned to hold our own pain, so we can't hold our wife's pain. This is like in a nutshell, most marriages problem-- marital problems, right? Like us men cannot hold our own pain. We're constantly repressing our own emotions. We-- That's how we were taught. We're taught like crying is weak and like, you know, uh, uh, like I, I- I- Parents tell us, "Don't cry." Yeah. Right. It's not just crying though, right? Like it's, it's like, it's like vulnerability is weakness and that different things are weakness. So like, when we learn like, you know, when we learn to hold our own pain and not repress our emotions and like to go feel the pain and understand like the, the, like the depth and the like, the, the, the awesome, the gold at the end of the tunnel is in feeling our own pain. And as a man, which we've done a lot of-- Shalom and I have done a lot of self-worth the last four years, right? We've changed completely. And really, our marriages in the last four years have-- c- I've been married twenty-four years, it's twenty-five years, like our marriages have completely done a 180. Like from not great marriages or like it was o-- we thought it was okay to like out- truly outstanding marriages, right? And our wives would tell you the same thing. Like we're not, we're not, you know… And, and it comes from really sitting with our own pain, because if we can sit with our own pain, then when our wives come with us with their pain, we're not like shutting them off and shutting them down and getting constantly-- I mean, listen, don't get me wrong. We're, we're not tzadikim. We, we-- I, I-- s- We still get triggered by our wives, uh, you know. But then you learn when you understand that the trigger, if you're getting triggered by your wife or your kid, it's not your wife, it's you. It's something that it's, it's bringing-- it's a gift. For you to figure out what, what is internally going on there that's making you get so upset Wow. Uh, I- I've met people that their wives don't let them hang out with their friends, and it, it really bothers me. It hurts me when I, when I see that happening, and I have to have them escape. And I say, "Come to me in the afternoon and let's just chill for an hour and let's talk." Yeah. And it hurts me that that's happening in the world. think every single one of your- You should have- … people- You should have every- … should be on the podcast … single guy. I'm not even just exaggerating. It's not- I'm not, I'm not exaggerating either. Yeah, yeah. I wanna get it done. Yeah. And I wanna talk about it, because men's groups and putting men together- Yeah … and to feed off each other is saving marriages. When we come back, when we… whenever we get together, when we come back, what… guess what happened? Our wives saw, like we were different, better, leveled-up versions of them. Yeah. So they, they literally encouraged us to go away instead of the opposite. In fact, now- Yeah, they love when we go away … the sad, the sad part is, like they… they're all j- they're so envious of us. Like they don't… They, they wanna have… Mm-hmm. I wanna clarify something for a second. And, and Shlomo, and I want you to break it down for me, because you went through this experience of understanding, uh, Sadio's, you know- Yeah remedies, and I really wanna break it down for a second if you don't mind. But before I do, please do not mix this up with going out with your friends to Oman, or going with your friends on a trip, or going with your friends to chill. That's not what you guys are. I've seen it. I've seen it live, and I can attest to the fact this is a meaningful, healthy, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, uh, you know, just complete vulnerable relationship. And you guys are feeding off each other, and you're helping each other tremendously. You're helping your kids. You're helping your grandkids. You're helping your families. And I saw this firsthand, and I love talking about this more and breaking it down, and I'm committing to you. I am going to interview every one of your friends. Yes. Because I wanna learn about every single one of them, what they do, 'cause every one of them is fascinating j- just in their own way. And I think that every person is fascinating in their own way, but knowing that you're part of one cohesive group and getting the message out there for both, A, women to encourage their husbands to find friends like this- Yeah and make a group, and B, for men to recognize that they need this. And to share… to be able to share wins is another thing. To be able to… Like, literally, we cheer… We're, we're each other's biggest cheerleaders. When someone is succeeding, like we are… There's no jealousy. There's no jealousy in this group. Like- How often do you guys meet? It's erratic. Like sometimes it could be… It, it could be, like, w- we meet once one week, and then we do again… a, a barbecue the week after. It could be, like, twice a week. On average, on average, six times a year? times a year? No, Probably more. Probably more. Okay. Yeah. On average, once a month, let's say. About- I mean, the best, is, like, y- we all went away to Costa Rica in February. That was, that was amazing, but- Okay, but we're not talking about every day, every week. No, no. We're talking about just strategic- But our W- our WhatsApp group is active every single day. I guess what you're talking about is intentional meetings. Yeah. So Shlomo, you know- Well, like I said before, we're gonna have to wrap up soon, but this is a topic that I love, relationships, and it's just- Yeah … I can't get enough of these topics. Parenting and relationships, by the way, is the hottest topics that I love talking about, uh, in general. So important. Yeah. So- I wanna, wanna add to what we were talking about. Yeah. So I w- decided, yeah, for one-on-one coaching, and he was, he was phenomenal. But then to be able to put that into action with my wife, but also, like, come back with, with feedback or, or just to practice on, on other men how to be vulnerable, how to hold space. That part you don't get with one-on-one. You have to actually do, right? I hold space for my kids. They, The- they light up. Explain what hold- I see them- Explain what hold space means. So- some people might not even know what that means. Holding space is seeing them… Think of yourself as the sky, and you see a cloud go through. Somebody, your kid, your wife, has an emotion, a reaction, something's wrong, something's bothering them. You don't, you don't fight a cloud with another cloud. You hold space for it. You listen to it. You, you validate. You don't even try to solve it. Just watch it. You're the sky. If you do that, everyone feels safe. They are safe. They actually are. Um, and then you see each, your wife, you see your kids for who they really are. I love that my kids are so different. They're so unique and special, and they, they know that. It feels like they now know it versus something that wasn't the case before. Like instead of trying to fit into the, you know- Is that what you were all about? Jewish paradigm. Is that what was happening in your life? Yeah. You were trying to fit in to things? Yeah. Because, and I, I resonate with this a lot, by the way. Yeah. 'Cause I've been working on my own journey for more than five years now in terms of seeing a therapist and being vulnerable and open and, and- um- Yeah … the, the world is my oyster. And, uh, I would say my men's group is every man I meet, and I, I just connect and grow from them, so. Yeah. But this is unique in terms of your own little group, and I asked if I can join, I think, at that point, and you didn't let me. So, uh I don't know what it was, you know, like- No, we, we… the, the funny thing is- You think I'm too dumb? … that, that, that night we met, we, we vibed with you. We were like, "Man, this guy could be part of our group." Like right out the gate. Yeah, I remember. I remember. We totally discussed that. Yeah. So, uh, but no, you have something special. I, I wanna go through that. Just take me through that transition, if you will. Tell me about Shlomo before and Shlomo after and what you learnt about. him. Beautiful. Please. I used to have a rule with my kids. They had, on Shabbos, they had to be in shul by 10:00 AM. And I found out later that one of my kids used to go away for Shabbos because of that rule. It just didn't feel right. It didn't… He didn't want to and so he just stayed away When I realized that I am associating a punishment with something religious, which I didn't intend to do because I didn't see them for who they are, I saw them like, "You gotta fit into this box. What are people gonna think of me when my kids show up late," right? When I saw them for who they are, I took that… Of course, how can I put that on them? "You come to shul when you wanna come. You know my preference. You know what I would prefer, but, but you are a person. You are your own person." I became the sky. Suddenly, my kids wanna come. Suddenly, my wife wants to spend time with me. It's just so much more enjoyable when you're not imposing on them. You're just… You're good. Wow. Wow, Shlomo, that's amazing. It's a, it's a shift. I you, you, you just, you just described one simple example- Yeah … one small little anecdote, and I'm gonna save more of it for when, uh, Sadja comes with his wife and, and we're gonna dive- Which by the way, we didn't mention his name just in case someone watches now. You can look him up, Sadja Nuttick, just so you know the last name. So you can look him… He has his own podcast with his wife, which is an amazing podcast, called Talk To Me Baby, and, uh- What a great name … it's such a treat. It's such a treat to, like, listen to two people who work so hard on their marriage and have come so far, um, because it's, it's like their podcast is literally, they just, they… It's on purpose. They don't plan anything. They just hit the record button, and whatever they're talking about, they just go and they talk. And when you see people, um… It's such a lesson in, um, in, in, um… Like Sadja is one of the best… You've never seen someone listen to his wife like he does. Like Shlomo and I, like, some- we, we, like, we laugh about, like, the pauses. Like- Oh, yeah. Shlomo, Like the… uh, it's it's like a… Sometimes he'll, he'll wait for 30 seconds. to respond. It's not awkward unless you s- you think it's awkward … like, and he'll say… And then his wife will just keep going. Like, she's just not done. He just, he just sits and waits and waits and waits and waits. Uh, and then there's more. And, um, it's a, it's a great lesson for us. There's a… I just love… You know, we're, we're men. We're fixers. Just by nature, we're fixers. We want to fix. When our wives come to us with, with emotions, whatever, we just… what, it it makes us feel uncomfortable 'cause we're like, "Oh, if she's upset, I'm not a good husband." That's how we feel, so we wanna fix. We wanna fix. Wow. And so yeah, so you learn to, you learn to listen. And, and women, like Shlomo said, it's like we're the sky and we're… they're the storms. And if you allow them to have their emotions, if you allow women to just move through it, they actually move through it. And if you give them enough space… By the way, I'm, like, making it sound like we're, like, truly masters. We're like- … we have plenty of, plenty to learn. We're, we're- It's okay. I, uh, you're- You know, it's it's always- Yeah … every day is, every day is a journey. Every day is, you know, whatever, but, uh, in- overall, um, we've come a long way, Yeah. and our- our marriages are… We're very proud of our marriages. Guys- we- like, we're- I'm, I'm proud of you, and I'm proud to call you my friends. And, uh, Shlomo, what did you want to say? I was gonna say, I'm gonna take, uh, um, all of Sadja's material, but emotions are energy in motion, so just wait for it to pass. It'll pass. Beautiful. And I'll take that one step further- Sorry, Ziza …as, a, as a, as a chiropractor who, um, who treats pain for 20 years. Um, I heard ener- I heard that from Schneier. I don't know who- … I don't know who cited Schneiders. But I heard that from Schneier that- Related … that, that emotions are energy in motion, right? And if you don't, and as men especially, if you don't allow that emotion to pass through you, if you don't process the emotion, it gets trapped in your body, and it'll turn into pain, dysfunction, or disease So it's really important. This is, like, really, really, really important to process emotions. Um, should start listening to Rav Wy- Wy Jacobson's chasidus because he talks about this all the time about, about processing emotions. And before we… I know it seems like we're about to wrap up, but I just wanna say something to your listeners 'cause, you know, you sit here so-- and you, and you are a really, a master at asking questions and holding space of, of listening, of even tracking. You- you track. You, like, it's a, it's a really a skill. Like, uh, you know, it's amazing. But I don't, I don't know because you don't get interviewed. You're the one interviewing. But, like, Shlomo and I got to experience something that I don't think your listeners know, that Michael, in his spare time on Sundays for years, he's done this for years, m- people come who are struggling with their careers and financials, financial things. They come to Michael, to his house. He has office hours. Shlomo and I got to watch this, and he helps so many people. The, like, the, the chesed that you do, and you connect people, and you get them jobs, and you do it so quietly and so with such humility. And so just that, know that Michael does this, so you can get in touch with him. I don't wanna, uh, you know- … blow his uh- I appreciate that … he does this, he does it for free, and he's… There's so many people have gotten jobs, and he's helped so many people, and it's, it's really- Thank you. I definitely appreciate it. Yes, and, um, yeah, I have spoke about it in the past because careers are my thing. I, I'm, I'm truly a big believer that if you help y- our generation and, uh, you know, grow in their careers and figure out how to make a living and live in the right place if you need to move and cut your expenses and learn how to manage your costs, then we'll all live a healthier life, you know? You won't need, uh, daily giving, you know? Um, but, you know, look, ultimately, we all need to help each other and give in, in some capacity, and what you guys are doing are, is amazing. How many organizations are you giving to? Is it- Over 100. Over 100? Yeah. Wow. And it's just phenomenal, and it's just, um… I'm trying to hold space for all this that's going on right now in terms of what's in front of me. So in wrapping up, uh, one of the things I like to do is ask you guys if you have any questions for me. So we'll, you know, we'll open that up. Just don't ask me why we started the podcast 'cause we've covered that 10,000 times. Um, so would love to ask you that. And I als- I also always like asking who would you recommend as a guest on the podcast, but I already have eight of you now- that I have to go through. And I'm going to do it, guys- Yes … because I, I l- I think that each, each one of you in going through this journey are learning so much that so mu- so many people can learn from, and if all I did was talk about relationship, relationships, relationships, I'd be okay. Yeah. And I'd grow from that, and that's really something that I am so passionate about, about, you know, building relationships with parents to children, children to parents, uncles to aunts, and nephews to uncles, and just brothers to sisters and, you know. And to be honest with you, I'm on that journey myself, and I'm recognizing more and more that I need to work on my relationship with myself and figuring out what that means to me. So I'm on that path. But- Uh, Jonathan, we'll start with you. Any questions for me? Well, good for you, Michael. What you just said is, is really, is really like that's what the goal is, is like actually I didn't understand this. My wife, my wife was in therapy for many, many years, and I didn't understand it, and, um, it was just like another bill, you know? And, um, and then she switched to a couple years ago to do something called IFS, IFS therapy, and I, I actually became jealous of her, of how, how she was changing and how she was learning about herself. And she would tell me, and she would just try to, you know, explain to what it, what it was, and she was, like, encouraging me. But I was like, "I, I don't, I don't need therapy. I don't… And, Like…" And really, thank God, I feel great. Like, I actually ended up starting IFS therapy two year- like almost two years ago at a time where I felt the best I ever felt in my life, and I cannot tell you how much it's catapulted me forward. Um, because when you learn about yourself and you learn where you came from, and you then can have… You, you then learn self-compassion because it's really about self- self-compassion and self-love, and it's really hard to love other people if you don't love yourself. You can't. You can't fully love someone else if you don't love yourself. So like you said, it, it starts with learning where you came from, understanding yourself. The more you understand about yourself, the way, the w- the why you tick the way you tick, then you can have compassion. When you do something that you thought you used to, like, I hate that part of me. Like, there's all things that we hate about ourselves, right? But when we learn why we're like that and that those things that we hated were actually there to help us and protect us, then all of a sudden when we… It changes the whole relationship to those things we hated about ourselves, and now w- we no longer hate of those things about ourselves. We actually love those things about ourselves, and that's really a path to, to self-love. But back to your question- Couldn't have said that any better, by the way … to your question, though- Love that … my first… the first thing that popped in my head is I would love to know what gets you excited about giving. Like, like what… When you, when you give tzedakah, like, what do you look for in a tzedakah? Are you, are you… Are the certain… Both that, and that's question number one, and number two, are there specific tzedekahs that just really get you excited? So I'll answer both questions with one answer, and that is my community. And the closer you are to the proximity of where I live, that's how much more I want to give to you. That's my answer. So if you're my neighbor and you're suffering, I wanna know about it. I'll make it my business to know about it, and if you live two doors down from me, you'll get less attention. If you live three more doors down, you'll get even less. But that's the way I look at giving in terms of simply my community, and I, I truly believe that if we all worked that way, we would be taking care of each other that way, and our communities would be amazing- and we would all help each other, uh, by giving. So I would say is every- anything that has to do related to community. So in my community in Monsey, we have kupas ezrah, Tomchei tzedek or Tomchei Shabbos and so many people, but I wanna make sure that the people who are living around me are paying their mortgage, are able to pay tuition, and they have a career that they're able to be proud of, and they're able to buy their children gifts, and they're able to take trips once at least a year. And, you know, that, that is my answer to that- Beautiful … yeah, in terms of giving. What about you, Shloim? What do you got for me? How do you set boundaries? For, for all the different things that you do, like when you help people on Sundays or when you come, like you- you're working late- Yeah … you know, to record. It's a great question. Do you, Do you have boundaries- Yes, family, for family, for friends? I was terrible at this. Uh, when I said to you a little earlier, like, you know, five, six, seven years ago, whenever I started my journey of growth, um, I was at a point where I would fall asleep and the phone would just knock on my head, and all I was doing was looking on LinkedIn, right? So, like, I, I gotta get rid of social media, and that was one of my first things, getting rid of social media. Stopping to watch news. So- What I did was I created certain rules in my life, and that really, really helped me. Rules is what helps me in terms of setting boundaries for everything I do. I have a rule. I go out to the city or somewhere with my wife every Thursday night, and the rule is anybody who wants to join can join. It could be… And usually it's single, divorced friends that come join us. Mm. And we're just like, "Hey, uh, Michael, where are you going this Thursday night?" "Oh, we're going to a comedy club. We're going to a place, and anyone can just join us, and, uh, and we go out." So, so that, that way I know also that even though I travel, I'm on a plane pretty much, uh, you know, every week, so I know that Thursday nights are dedicated. I also know that Friday night till Sunday afternoon is dedicated to my kids, so, like, that's another rule. And I used to wanna help everybody, and I had this challenge in my life in general. I always loved the idea of helping everyone who calls me. It's just not possible, so I decided to pick a lane, and that lane was the career, uh, uh, uh, path, and I made a rule. And my rule is you want, uh, attention for your career and your guidance, and you're a rebbi that wants to become an employee of some sort, or you wanna start your own company, Sunday is 11:30 to 2:30, half an hour each, and it's just became my rule. So if you call me during the week, or I have somebody, or somebody sends me a resume, my rule is I'll see you Sunday between 11:30 and 2:30. Mm-hmm. It's the same thing that I do with everything else. It's like my rule of Erev Shabbos, my rule of Motzaei Shabbos. I'm preparing candles. A- a- And I… Every year, it happens to be it's Rosh Hashanah time, I try to think of, okay, what rule am I gonna add to my life to make things better? You're adding rules? I… Every year I add Rules. Rules. Mm. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And when… Like, when you help people with finances, like, is it hard to not actually wanna help them financially? That's another rule. It's a rule. Yeah. I can't. I get it. Yeah. I'll, I'll direct you. I'll guide you. Yeah. I like being the 411 for 911. Mm. Meaning, like, you have an emergency. Uh, Sani Perlman taught me this years ago. "If you have an emergency, call 911." But if you really wanna know who to go to at what point, especially in financial decisions- Yeah … you can go to RSK. We'll help you manage your funds better. You can go to this recruiter who will help you do this, you can take this test that will help evaluate what you're better for, and you could be this. You know, young people who are asking me about careers now, one of the most important things I say is what you said earlier: be a shadow of a category of service that you wanna get into. You wanna go into real estate? Just be a shadow of somebody for three weeks. Just ask them… You know, don't be an intern, work for free. That's annoying. Be a shadow- Yeah … and, and learn from there. So yeah, uh, being that Rosh Hashanah is coming, I, uh… The rule, I like to pick two rules. Rule one is about my life and how I'm growing, and rule number two is about Shabbos. So every year we add something, uh, on Shabbos. We light candles together every Shabbos. We bench together every Shabbos. And it's all been a cumulative of the past seven, eight years of things that we're doing every Shabbos, so. Love it. What's your favorite rule that you've come up with the last 10 years? Candle lighting, not even a question. I can't believe that families don't light candles together. I'm, I'm actually shocked that they don't. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. Like women are sitting there lighting candles and they don't have their children and their husbands next to them? What? Mm. It's so foreign to me. Mm. Like of course you have to be together. Why does a man have the opportunity to bless his kids before drinking wine Friday night? Why can't the woman have the opportunity to bless the whole family while everyone is sitting around her? So that is my feeling, to be honest. Beautiful. Love that. Yeah. You might've just gotten some other people to do that. Yeah. I'm visualizing it. Wow. Guys, thank you for listening. Thank you for- Thank you for having us subscribers, to the subscribers. Thank you for the comments. Thank you to the Prime Source production team. Uh, retrospect, looking back at this interview and this conversation, I just wanna say I learnt so much about living life with intention, and that's what I think I get most out of the two of you. It's the fact that you're finding things to do that are important for not only the people around you, but for the, for you as a person in of itself. And another shout-out to Alex Barth who taught me to do this, which is at the end of the podcast, reflect a little bit about what you learnt and what you grew from that and talk about it. So that's what I'm gaining from you guys, is you have a good idea, do the research, uh, you know, figure out, you know, how you can be better in this world. Most importantly, having friends that you can rely on and creating a men's group. Please, if anyone is listening and doesn't have a men's group or people that they can rely on, find someone that you can rely on. You'd be very surprised, if you go to a guy that you feel somewhat close to and you say, "Hey, I wanna share something with you," how quickly you'll create a bond- Mm by just connecting with them and learning about that part of your life, learning about the transition of knowing that it's never too late. We're in our 30s, we're in our 40s, we're in our 50s. Suddenly we're transitioning our life and we're telling our kids they don't have to come to schul at a certain time anymore. Could you imagine how much better of a lifestyle a person can live knowing that it's never too late? You can actually learn now to live a more healthy lifestyle of how to raise your kids and how to have a healthier life with your spouse. So that's what I reflect on on this conversation. It was amazing. If you change now, you, they can see the before and after. Uh, absolutely. It's beautiful. And we're gonna see it together, and I can't wait to see all the changes that we have and our growth that we have together. So thank you so much, Jonathan. Thank you. Thank you so much, Shloimo. Appreciate it, Michael. I appreciate you being here today. Shana tovah. Shana tova. God bless you guys. Have a great year for you and your family- Thank you so much … and your business. And your business, and you're doing so much for Klal Yisrael. Hashem should repay you. I appreciate. You guys too. That's a wrap. Wow. Amazing. Thank you, Michael. That was awesome. Wow. Chazak. That was your first podcast, Shloimo. My first. Yeah.