He Made Everyone Happy While He Was Falling Apart | DJ Hudacris

When you showed up to my daughter's wedding, all right, I did not know what to expect. I was like, who is this rabbi walking in here? I mean, what what where's this uh breast of books? What's he going to sell me now? Like, that's what I was looking at. I'm like, what what's happening here? You pulled out your board. You like, you know, I I I wasn't sure what to expect. But >> when that beat dropped and you got into that mode and into that mood, it took the wedding to the next level. >> And it was amazing. It was really amazing. And since then, I was like, "Wow, I I got to speak to this guy." So, uh, welcome back everybody to another amazing, incredible, fun, I say fun for the right reason today, uh, deep, uh, episode of the None of Your Business Podcast. I'm your host, Michael Greenfield. Of course, we are produced by the Prime Source production team. And today with us, we have an amazing amazing guest, a very special guest, the DJ at my daughter's wedding, Rev DJ Hudacris. That's right. >> Welcome to the party. >> Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. >> Uh Rab Yehuda Castell, right? Am I getting your name correct? >> Rabbi, but yeah, Yehuda Castell. >> You know, uh when you got up there, I'm just going to go straight into it. When you walked in, you know, you were like I hate to say this, but you were like a you were like a sneaky like just walking in the back, no one noticing you like you know, you got to the back over there, you set yourself up, no one knew what was going on. We had Pompadisa, we were going crazy already. But to take that to the next level is not so simple. And you did that. And you you lifted the spirits of the room and you lifted the energy. And I'm actually pretty, you know, happy to say that I don't know anything about you. I just know you are an amazing DJ. >> Oh wow. >> And you brought a level of excitement, entertainment, and depth to a one of the most important nights of my life. So first of all, thank you. >> Of course. Yeah, it was a true sim. It was a really real pre pleasure to be there and partake in in your >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure you say that to all the guys. >> Oh, for sure. By you. I'm saying I know the you know son-in-law's family. I know them very well. So >> Oh, yeah. Did >> I grew up with him? >> Oh, Milwaukee. >> Milwaukee. >> Oh, okay. So, you're a Milwaukee boy. Yeah. Okay. So, we'll get to know you soon. Uh, shout out to my super fan of the week, my son Shua, who called you out and said that I must interview you. And uh you know Shua, he's a big fan of ours and uh I'm a big fan of his. He's doing great things in this world and um just you know his advice of get him on, get him on. You got to have him. His energy is great and I'm sure he has a lot to say. So I'm I'm so excited to have you here with us. Thank you to all our subscribers, all the comments, all the feedback. We are loving it. Keep it coming. You hear something, you see something, you're interested in getting involved, let us know. Ask the questions. >> Uh to you. Thank you for being here. Uh Terberg wine is the wine of the week again and um we are trying the inspire wine. I'm curious if people like Terberg, what their thoughts are, but I'm going to >> I'm going to work Israeli wines through the podcasts and I'm going to work from one winery to the next and discover the flavors and hear the feedback of what people like and learn about them. And I'm a big fan of it. Uh wine is a time on Yamiff when we open up bottles and I don't think we have to wait, >> right? We have to wait for the next one now. >> We can just start now to you. >> You know, on our first podcast that I had with Ushi, I'll never forget, I took the wine and I slurped it, you know, because someone told me that that's the way you're supposed to try the flavors, >> right? >> I did that and she thought I was nuts. And you know what? I'll never forget it. And it brings me like two years later, over a hundred episodes. I'm slurping wine, baby. >> Slurping. So, um, to you, >> you know, there's so much I want to unpack. I don't know if you grew up. I'm pretty sure you didn't. And I'm not even sure if you are. You certainly look it. Um, you know, for those who are not watching, you know, you have the pace, the beard, the reck, the all the garb for sure. How old are you? Let's start with that. >> 26. >> 26. All right. You can get away with anything, by the way. You can you could say you're 35. You could say you're 80. Yeah, I I'll believe you. >> So, um, >> who are you? Let's take a step back. Where are you from? You you just mentioned you're originally from Milwaukee. >> Yeah. >> Who's your family from? What was your upbringing like? Uh, you know, I I think before we get to that, I I did I do have a segment that I started bringing back, which is, you know, we used to do a Chachi PT says what? I have like a Chachi PT summary on you so you can know what the internet is saying about you. >> I hope it's good things. >> We'll find out. You can tell me what's true and what's not. Yehuda Castell looks like he should be heading to a Fbrangan until the bass drops. Better known as DJ Hudacris, he's a Cassida kid from Milwaukee who somehow turned anxiety, identity struggle, and some serious dark chapters into beats, stages, millions of views, and a career alongside Nissen Black. Whoa, that's very interesting. Um, but here's what I want to know. Chachi PT saying, "Is Hudacris just Yehuda Castell with the volume turned up, or is the guy behind the turntable still trying to figure out who Yehuda Castell actually is?" >> Wow. I didn't know Chachi was deep like that. >> You know what? It's my Chachi PT. >> Who are you? Where are you from? Tell me about your parents. Let's start from the beginning. Your upbringing. Why is it talking about anxiety? >> What's happening here? >> Okay. Yeah. So, I uh I grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Um, so my father grew up for a majority of his childhood and my mother didn't grow up too far away. She grew up in Chicago. Um, and my grandparents as well lived in Milwaukee and stayed in Milwaukee and very connected to the Torski family. That's why my family stayed there to begin with. They were macar um my father and my grandparents my father's parents and as well my mother's family also was macar through a different tosski through a shlom toki from Denver and so Milwaukee was definitely the hub of our um identity so uh yeah grew up there one of eight kids can and amazing upbringing Milwaukee is a great place to to raise a family >> shout out to your brother NH By the way, >> brother Nch, >> you know, him and I have connected many times with music and going at together. So, love you, Nch. And can't wait to jam with you again. >> Love Nch. We love Nashem. >> So, I know one of your siblings, but you have seven more. You're saying this is great. >> Are you in the middle? Where? Where you? >> I'm the fourth. So, I'm smack in the middle. >> All right. So, that's where the anxiety starts. >> Yeah. Could be. Could be. Um, yes. I guess we could go down that route first. Um, so yeah. So, I grew up. My father and my grandfather were both are both what my grandfather was. He was a very respective person in the community. Um he was one of the pillars of uh of Rebski's community. He was one of the first few families that you know started the new generation after Rebski's father passed away. He kind of towards the end of his life Reml started to bring in um you know these young families that were living kind of on the outskirts of Milwaukee. you know, in the more reformed conservative areas. >> If if you don't mind for a pause for just one second. >> Sure. >> I've heard of Rabbi Torski so many times. Can you just give me a quick snippet of who is Rabbi Torski? Um so Ra Miklski the Reba is um hails from the you know famous Torski family the Chernobyl dynasty hornest stiple um and he's just an incredible human being who's really um he's definitely a pillar in the world of Kira um and has saved thousands and thousands of nishamas um and he and his approach is just very warm and understanding and worldly like he understands the Velt, he understands the generation and he's just unbelievable. >> Got it. >> Hard to like encap encapsulate him and >> yeah, maybe we'll get to more down the down the line, but I just wanted to because I hear the name a lot and you know, like you said, my uh my daughter's in-laws, uh the Beegans. >> Yeah, shout out to them. >> Yeah, I've heard a lot from them. I've I keep hearing stories, but now that we're on a platform, I I want to bring some light to who they were because, uh amazing. I keep hearing amazing amazing stories. >> Yeah. And all of them. He he's one of five boys and five brothers. They were all very ill illustrous um individuals. His oldest brother Schlomtorski was a RV in Denver who he he really like pioneered the uh cure of movement in America. He was around the same timefeld whoever was a Indian over there with the three Schlamas. I don't know what was going on in the you know in the 70s but something was going on there. Um and then obviously Rabbi Dr. Abraham Jay Torski Alvasham who uh you know we all know him as the famous author famous therapist psychiatrist um and then he had another two brothers who were more hidden but also very um deep holy people so >> beautiful okay so you you grew up in that upbringing that environment >> upbringing in that environment 100% and >> but as a kid you went to the typical schools of Milwaukee >> yeah so he he started started a day school >> um it was the first separate non on co-ed school. There was, you know, there was like a hill that was, I think, ran by Kabad till this day. It's still open. I think it's more ran by Kabad and it's more co-ed, I think. I'm not exactly sure because I didn't go there, but I don't know too much. But he started a, you know, Haisha school, you know, as Haimea as as it could get in in Milwaukee. >> Um, which was it was kind of together with the wits that's also in Milwaukee. they kind of uh collabed and formed the school. So a lot of the rebay are coming from Queens and and you know the clan background and so yeah that's where that's where we grew up. Um as I said um my grandfather was a very respected person and my father is as well. Um so that that came a little bit. No one like said that there's an expectancy to become anything but uh you know I had that inner expectation of you know I have to uphold you know live up to the the hype or surrounding my uh those figures in my life. So already from a young age I felt this need to um be in the in the spotlight. >> When you say young age what like give me an example. you're you're you're quite young already but still which is why I'm actually appreciating this conversation because >> it's not every day I get to speak to someone who's you know on the journey of starting their life and their livelihood and >> you know can talk about something that they went through that's just 5 10 15 years ago right it's it's literally you know it's still in your you know in your process so I really want to learn from that and I want to be able to learn also >> I mean I almost have kids your age you know so I would like to learn also how to do things differently or what I could learn from your experiences at what age do you say that you >> um I don't know the exact age but from a young age from before probably like six seven eight like one of those years um you know I I was a popular kid in my class my brothers my older brothers were popular kids in their classes um and you know there's the everyone knows when the when the Castell boys walk into our room like we we have a presence like you said before we started recording like you know there's something about the name there's something about the presence the Castell's bring a presence for good things. Um so that came with a little bit of an expectation um internally. Um so so yeah, it started probably when I was 8 years old, you know, just looking for ways to entertain, looking for ways to be in the spotlight. And that's really, you know, growing up in the footsteps of my of my grandfather who was extremely hilarious person who who uh he was an entertainer. He was the, you know, the court jester of Milwaukee. and him and his best friend, they had like a comedy routine that would do every year on PUM and they they were known as the jokesters. So, it was a little bit of of, you know, of trying to emulate that uh as a kid and then um and moving forward once I went to high school and I was out of Milwaukee, I was exposed to the real world uh the in town world. Um it was hard for me to fit in. And I was, you know, I was definitely a black sheep in in in a world of of white sheeps. >> Where'd you go? >> Uh, ninth grade I was in Denver for one year and then the rest of high school was in Oru in Muny. Amazing experience. Loved it there. Loved my um but it was very different. Those those guys were very different than than that out of town Milwaukee kid. Um, so that, you know, that also came with a little bit of a push to get attention and try to get on their level and be impressive and and you know those type of things. >> So ninth grade you went to Denver. >> Yeah. >> And that didn't work out. >> Yeah, it was great. I just didn't, you know, I love the rebum there. I love yeshiva. My class just happened to be like very immature and I just didn't push them with that. And then the few guys that I was was close with, they they left. So >> you're saying so you you looked at yourself as more mature in nth grade. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Yeah. It's important for me to understand this in terms of where we're heading because then you've picked Oruven. How did Orven come about? >> Um so Ratski's son, Rabiani. >> Okay. >> He has a show on uh on Wilder over there. >> Sure. >> Um so he recommended >> Got it. Very popular show by the way. He's doing amazing things. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I haven't been there since they opened up the new show. though. >> Sure. So, so you're in 10th grade going to a foreign land basically? >> Yeah, basically. It was, you know, I I had been to New York a handful of times before that. >> You feel like this is one of the big challenges of of parents who are raising kids in out of town communities like >> um Yeah. So, it it did take a a toll on me for sure. It took took me a long time to not forgive my parents, but to really understand where they're coming from. And like you know 9th grade was definitely more difficult cuz I was much younger and and uh it was a difficult year altogether. Um once I was in my like a chill you know I was chilling like I I wasn't too worried. I never really got homesick there. Um but it did it took some time to to understand where my parents were coming from and why they felt it was important that I you know left the house at 14 years old and and and there were painful times. You know there were definitely moments where I would have wanted to have my parents there. Obviously I had their support the entire time but you know not in a physical uh way for a majority of of those years. So um it took me some time once I was in base medish and I was you know maturing I was able to uh understand that and I guess in a way forgive forgive them in a way to you know for pushing me out there. I remember I told my father when I was in eighth grade that I want to you know look into wits why not all my friends are pretty much going I want to check it out. It's like no way you're not you're not going you're not staying you're not staying in town. you know, you got to go out, you got to go out of Milwaukee. And, you know, and it's a real I have real gratitude for it now cuz it really built me up as a person. I definitely wouldn't be a DJ without without that experience. And, um, it definitely it gave me life skills that, you know, I became, I think, more developed as a teenager than a lot of my friends and in my did. Um, you know, they got there eventually, but it took them, you know, a year or two more. They really didn't get that experience of being outside of the house until they came to Israel. >> Right. >> So that like I already got those uh juices uh squeezed out of me. >> When did you realize you were in love with music? When did that come about? >> From a very young age. My family's very musical. My father is a very talented musician. My brothers are as well. My older brother, my oldest brother is a drummer. Um my second oldest brother is also a DJ actually. Shout out to him. Hassid. DJ Hassid. Um, my third brother is a composer, a guitarist. He plays piano as well. Um, then there's me. Um, then there's Nooch. As you know, Nch is a guitarist and composer, very talented individual. Um, so we're always surrounded by music, especially Torski. He also is very musical. He's got a lot of Nagun, very popular Nagun. So, we just grew up in a very musical household. So, I always, you know, enjoyed music and especially the electronic style. I was uh I was probably eight, nine years old when I first heard like that sound on the radio like, whoa, what is this, you know, cuz I grew up on the oldies. Whatever my father was listening to, that's what I listen to. And then, but he was also very he listened to a lot of the innovative sounds of the 80s. And so, I don't know how much you know, but Frank Zappa and th those type of uh Grateful Dead. So he, you know, he was into the innovative non- mainstream sound. Um, >> do you remember what do you remember what woke you up? Like what was that? You know, you turn on the radio, you heard uh >> which song? >> Yeah. Which song? Which band? Which group? >> I'm not sure. It was It happened a few times. >> Yeah. Tell me. Give me example. >> I remember the first time I heard Animals by Martin Garrick's. I It must have been It must have been 2013, maybe. Maybe a couple years before that. I think 2013. No. And that was the first non- mainstream electronic song, meaning no lyrics, just straight beat that I ever heard that was on the radio. There was other artists. David geta had songs. A vichi had songs, but they were they all had lyrics. They had singers on them. So, this is the first song that was just straight beat. And I just remember hearing that and just going, whoa, what is this? And then finding out that the kid, he's like, he was like 16 or something when he made the song and just shot up to stardom like after that. Um, so that was that was definitely a big inspiration. Not in that moment. I wasn't 13. I was like, I'm going to be a DJ now, >> right? >> But I remember hearing that sound like, "Wow, that's very unique that that's becoming mainstream now." >> When when did that happen? When you said, "Okay, I'm getting a board or I'm going to start learning or >> so that happened in high school. Happened in um the end of 11th grade um where I was already very much into that style of music." And I was, you know, a bored out of towner in a in town. I had a lot of time on my hands in the dorms and I said, you know, I'm going to I'm just going to become a DJ. That's it. And I started telling people I was a DJ before I knew how to do it. I got my first gig before I knew how to, you know, actually DJ. >> Really? How much did you get paid on your first gig? >> Um, I think my first gig, it wasn't really a DJ gig. I kind of just made a playlist and I think I think they gave me like 80 bucks. >> Okay. >> And then my first real gig like for the public people like you with the board and everything was the hund ride actually. Really? >> Yeah. Back when it was in YSV. >> Oh, that's um that's Uri. >> Yeah. Uri Kersner goat. >> Beautiful. Shout out to them. They've done great things. >> Yeah. Unbelievable. So, I spent a lot of time in that neighborhood in Wesley Hills by Ro Center. So, um you know, Moi Go was my dorm concert one year. So, he knew that I was like a DJ, whatever. So, he gave me the >> nice >> the the spotlight, gave me the opportunity, and that was my first, I think, public gig. Was it >> and he gave me like a hundred bucks or something. Yeah. Was it was it complex when you first got the system because you have to know software, you have to know data. >> Yeah. So, I was a little bit of a computer nerd. My father's in in technology. That's what he does it >> and does like cyber security stuff. So, I knew I had a basic background with computers and technology. >> So, that aspect wasn't so difficult, but like learning the controls and learning how to mix and stuff that took time. I'm still, you know, learning about that. Um, there's always new things coming out. So yeah, it was it was a little challenging, but you know, whatever, >> right? >> Most of the people don't understand anyway, so they're not going to know the difference. >> You know what it is? I actually took a lesson in this because I was interested. And I got to learn that there's either record box or Sarata, right? Those are the two softwares. >> Like this is complex. This is not so easy. >> You know what DJs do. It's like it sounds like, oh, nothing. You're pushing a button. That's all you're doing. >> You know, so it's like we were explaining earlier is that reading the room. >> Yeah. taking a temperature of the environment. >> That's the most challenging part is knowing how to read a crowd. That's what you know, you could have a great skill set and great playlist, but if you don't know what the people want, >> right, >> you're just going to lose them. >> Tell me about the time that the first time you failed. You got up there and it's like, oh my god, >> first time I failed. Well, I don't have I don't have like a one time that sticks out to me as like a failure. There were definitely moments throughout different events where, you know, I lost the crowd a little bit and then, you know, I was, you know, maybe I wasn't in the right state of mind. So, I couldn't I couldn't read the the room correctly. Baram, I don't think there was one time where I was like, "This was a flop." >> Really? >> There have been parties that were flops, but not on my end, though. >> You're saying nobody showed up, >> right? That was just like, you know, the people who put the thing together. That was uh, you know, >> but you still have to play as if there's a thousand people. >> Yeah. 100%. That's a challenge. Small crowds is a challenge, right? Sure. >> Got to keep that energy up, >> especially when I'm expecting a bigger turnout. For sure. >> Yeah. So, today you make a full-time living from this. >> Um, pretty much I work in Yeshiva as well. >> Oh, what do you do? >> Um, I'm really >> that I uh have with my father-in-law. >> Really? What is this? >> It's called Yeshiva. >> Okay. >> It's a new place. >> Okay. How new? >> This is kind of the first year >> really >> under under this name. It was operating as a as the Brussel viva the last two years, but we um geared away from that and totally changed everything. >> Well, congratulations on that. >> Uh before we figure out how you got to breast live, so take me through this journey. So, you're 16, you're 17, you're learning, >> you're on your own. Yeah. >> You're you're figuring out that you could be a DJ and you're also studying, right? You're you're learning. >> I was in I was in yeshiva. Yeah, I was in yeshiva. Um, and then I I would say my first big break was the summer of after 12th grade where I got the DJ position in Camp Simha. >> Oh, how'd that happen? >> Which is a whole seat story within itself. I had applied. I was in uh yeshiva with AI debiter's nephew. I'm sure you know. >> Yeah. How did you even know that was an option though? It's like an interesting thing. >> It's very unique to like like applied. >> Oh, that's right. Applied applied to because that's what everyone did. Everyone goes like um so I applied and then on my interview the assistant high counselor was like so what like what do you what are you good at? What are your hobbies? What do you do? And it was like a very interesting interview. He he had he interviewed my friend and myself at the same time. So I was like I was little already thrown off by that. Um which is definitely one of their tactics. They try to you know see how you operate. Um and before I could even answer my friend piped up. He's like, "Oh, he's the best DJ I've ever heard. He's amazing. He's a DJ." Um, and so he so he took it as, "Okay, he's applying. He wants to be the DJ. Like, what else would he want to be in camp?" Um, so he said, "Oh, I think we already have a DJ." Um, so I didn't get accepted. Um, so then I had to pull some strings cuz I knew Ari Deer's nephew. I was in with him. >> Um, I'm sure you know Deiter's son. Yeah. >> So he pulled some strings. So he got me in for one session as a as a specialty random job. Um and during that time period I had met the campa DJ. Shout out DJ John. He's doing great things. >> DJ John. DJ. Okay. I was I met him once in uh Jamaica program. >> Oh yeah. So that's what he's busy with. He does like all these programs and stuff. >> He actually helped me make my PM playlist. >> Oh no way. >> Years ago. Yeah. >> He's awesome. He's really awesome. So I met him by a wedding. I think it was a Weiss Mandal wedding. >> Nice. Um, and I told him, "Hey, I'm gonna be in camp this year. I'm also a DJ." He's like, "Oh, yeah. I'm not sure if I'm gonna be back." I'm like, "Oh, they're telling me that you're that you're going back." They're like, "Yeah, I'm not sure. I got to get engaged soon." Like stuff like that. You know, I got to move on in life. I'm like, "Okay, well, keep me in mind." Like, you know, I'm going to be there anyways. Um, so a month or two go by and I get a random Facebook Messenger uh message and it's from him and he's like, "Yo, hit me up. We got to talk." I'm like, "Okay, sure." And so I hit him up and he said, "Uh, it doesn't look like I'm going to be in camp. Definitely not full-time. So, you know, what sessions are you coming to?" I'm only going for special. Okay. So, I'll give you, you know, we'll get you a DJ position for special to some capacity. So, at first I was just going to run the DJ specialty. They had like a little DJ room with like a bunch of DJ controllers and the kids come in and they, you know, mess around with the with this with the stuff. So, at first I was going to do that and then um he pulled out fully and then Cap was trying to figure out who's going to fill fill the slot. So, they had the per the camp studio guy, DJ Yehuda. Yoda Melman, who they're like, maybe he'll be it. Maybe there'll be this other guy from the media who happens to be a DJ as well. And both didn't work out. So, they they're like, okay, we have this kid from Milwaukee who's coming anyways. Let's just give him the full position and and see how it goes. And Bar was it took off. And um I really like them. They really like me. And >> you still doing that till now? >> No. So I um I I did camp for four years, not really including Corona. Corona was my third year technically. Um, so I did camp in New York for 4 years and then um and then I did I think either three three or four years with Sima without borders which was the program they started by Corona for um they basically took core camp guys um like eight or nine of us um we called them the national staff and they went around to every city that has a high lifeline office and they did um a 4-day day camp in each of those cities and called them sim swab. >> Wow. Huge shout out to Camp Simhka. By the way, first of all, I have to say, >> unbelievable. >> And I must ask you, you know, you're you're coming to a place like Camp Simhka. >> If no one knew what the camp was, you would think like, oh, it's a happy camp. It's great, right? And that's what it's about. It's And of course, it is about that, but it's really healing. >> Yeah. What did it teach you going through that process of dealing with these types of unfortunate situations? >> Yeah, it's taught me a lot. A, it taught me it taught me how to deal with certain difficult situations. You know, if you're in a a medical emergency and you know, you have to know what to do, how to operate that. And then a lesson that took a little bit more time for me to to take in was um it taught me how to be a giver and how to really act selflessly and put aside the ego self. Um and it was that was very difficult especially at the time when I was trying to build build up myself as a DJ to like you know be humbled um that definitely I wouldn't have learned that. Can you give me an example of what you mean by that? Like in terms of uh thinking back like >> was there a scenario where you had to put yourself first and like you know and then you weren't sure what to do type of thing because I understand what you're saying. I'm just trying to place myself in that situation and >> really pick up on that. >> Was there a time that that happened? There's definitely instances where it happened. I don't can't pinpoint one specific one, but >> but yeah, there are definitely times where, you know, >> you know, I thought one way and it happens all the time with clients. I'll I'll have my opinion, they'll have their opinion, but I have to like take a step back and say, you know, it's your sim. I got to I got to cater to you and you're not catering to me. >> Um, >> so you're saying that process that process in general. >> So in life and in business, the learning that process. >> Yeah, for sure. >> Okay, cool. Um, and also with my relationship with people is also especially like in marriage and you know before I got married with roommates and to like really try to understand what's going on before jumping to conclusions and um and you know taking a step back and letting them you know be themselves and respecting them and trying to understand where they're coming from and and knowing that that's okay that you know that we don't we're not seeing eye to eye but you know we Okay, we can make space for that and and hold that with us and carry on. >> It's interesting thing that you're mentioning, by the way. I'm just hearing you and and talking about having a roommate. We go from having a roommate in yeshiva to having a roommate for life. >> Yeah. >> Like it's a little bit of a, >> you know, different stage of a roommate, but it I guess it teaches you a lot. >> Teaches you a lot. you know, >> my my revy, Rabbi Fischer, he um he would always say, "You want to know if you're going to be a good husband, you got to ask yourself if you're a good roommate." Like, you know, that it's not one and the same. Obviously, being in a room with a man is much different than being in a room with a woman, but there's definitely a lot of similarities. If you're if you're a good roommate, you got a much better chance that you'll be >> a good husband. >> So, you got your gig at Chemha, gave you your footing, I guess, the public eye. >> That definitely springboarded me. >> Yeah. um into the into the public eye because you know there's a lot of staff members there and then you hype you spend four weeks hyping them up they're going to go out you know to to have their year in yeshiva and whatever and start you know they'll they'll talk you know tell their families tell their friends so yeah that brought brought a lot >> where were you living at that point >> so this was 12th grade post 12th grade so it was my first summer out of high school and so I spent the summer in New York and I came to Israel Are you thinking what am I going to do with my career at that point or you're >> Yeah. No, not really. I was kind of just, you know, I love this and I love making people happy, so let's just continue. I'm not really like looking to make money. Obviously, like that's a huge plus being able to, you know, get some. >> But then you went through the system. You How did you >> Well, now you're jumping ahead. I order >> Yeah. >> Um, so yeah. So then I came to Israel. >> Um, I was here in Fischers. Rabbi Fishers. >> Oh, that's what it is. So that's the that's the part where you went to Rabbi Fischers. I got it. Okay. So, >> which Rabbi Fischers, by the way, there's a Rabbi Fischer in the old city that existed. >> Yeah. So, that doesn't exist anymore. >> Okay. But was it that one? >> No, it wasn't there. That was more like a rehab, I think. Right. >> Well, it it had different stages. When it first opened up, it was intended to be a rehab. Then it kind of just became another Fischers, but I did I did spend a few months there when it was just like a regular. It was like another Fisers. Um Fisher sent me there, which we'll get to when we talk about the anxiety stuff. Um, so yeah, I came to Fissers. I was there in Moshab Mosh. Um, >> what a special spot by the way. >> So special. Have you been there? It's unbelievable. Unbelievable. I was just there. I went back to Fam Kipper. I just had to be there. I had to be with with my Rebi withra. >> Wow. >> Such such a special place. >> Um, >> so what's Rebe Fischer in general catering to in terms of as a yeshiva? >> It's it's just a it's a place for guys to be themselves really. I'm saying most of the guys are coming from Waterberry um with that that sort of background and and it's really just a place where you get just get to express yourself the way you want to be expressed being being a little bit more realistic in terms of that word what that means. Um are kids there in Rabbi Fischers? And I'm not trying to label anything but I just want to understand the type of people that are going there. Um first of all are they are they all observant the ones that are there in yeshiva pretty much >> are they are they doing are they having challenges with addictions >> um you know when they're coming there to the yeshiva is this like just give me the environment of what's happening in in on the ground >> the environment on the ground there is is is like nothing I've ever seen before anywhere else there's a lot going on you have like the really stark guys that are just holding and and Yiddish guy and they might just have like some emotional things that they're working through. And then on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, you have the guys who are totally non-religious who are also dealing with their emotional things and and expressing that in a different way. Um, and then there's the guys also dealing with addictions. Um, all all types of addictions. Um, >> what made you want to go there then? So um so Rever Rodinsky actually um recommended it. He knew Ro Fisher from camp. They spent some time in the summers together. So he called him up and said, "All right, I want to send one of my boys." He had already sent the a guy from Maru in there who was being very much. So he thought he thought it would be good for me as well. And it was the right decision or the right move. Um and yeah, it's it's funny that you asked that cuz you know, I wasn't coming from that world. I was a firm guy. I didn't have any addictions, you know. I was just a regular yeshiva guy pretty much. Um, so that was something that was a question that I tossed with a lot through my years there. Like what am I actually doing here? Like am I actually like belong here? But that was really just me um what's it called? Projecting, you know, onto other guys. Like oh, I'm not like them. So like how could this place be for me if I'm not like them? this place is for them, not me. But really that was just me, you know, putting up my my guard and not really being uh real with myself. So, um so fast forward to um my second year there. Um I had a really rough summer that year. Um I was like sp I was working first before simplify started I was working as a security guard in schmack camps by muggav that's where a fisher would spend his summers >> as a security guard. >> Yeah. >> You're the security guard. >> I'm a security guard. >> What are you carrying with you? A flashlight and a walkie-g so he would bring rare fisher would spend his summers there. So he'd bring a lot of guys there. Um so I went there with a bunch of guys >> and um so I took it upon myself to be on the night shift every single night. So I wasn't sleeping at night. I was sleeping during the day hours. It took a huge toll on my mental health. Um and that segue segueed right into simha which was also very intense just because it's an intense schedule. It's a short you know short time period. Each session is only 10 days 10 to 12 days. So it was very intense and I you know I demand a lot of myself in general. That's that's the type of person I am. I just, you know, I don't take really time to smell the roses. I just, you know, try to just do do. >> You mean and just I want to paint a picture if you don't mind and slow down a little bit because >> so many people start realizing certain things at certain ages in life. >> Yeah. >> Sounds like this is the first time you're actually recognizing something happening to you. >> Yeah. >> At a mature age, you know, let's say of 19, right? >> Uh yeah, 19. Yeah. So I'd like to understand that process because you know I have kids and uh nephews and nieces and you know friends and we talk about this all the time like you know kids recognizing that they are dealing with something >> and I'm so happy when someone at that age starts to deal with it better to do it then have you know a spouse and children and years later realizing that for 20 years you've been screwing up because you weren't recognizing who you were. So yeah, >> I I'm really happy to talk about this part, >> but you're so you're you're overwhelming yourself, I guess, in a way cuz you're your security, your your camp. >> Yeah, just taking on a lot and and just not taking care of myself. >> You're saying physically, mentally, emotionally, all of it. >> Yeah. All of it. >> Right. So you were just like you were just firepower just doing doing and not stopping to think is what you're saying. >> Yeah, pretty much. >> That's the mental status that you were at. >> For the purpose of what if you're looking back now? for the purpose of because I felt like this is these are the positions I'm in. and this is what's required and okay >> like I said like I'm hard on myself in general like that's >> I demand a lot >> continue I'm sorry >> yeah so so prior to simply starting at the end of the first session I was as a security guard um it was a fast day and it was on a Sunday so not so that shop is the shop as before I was with a lot of guys in Willowwoods Gavald the gashabas got completely drunk Um, and I had to do the night shift mat shave and I was like super hung over and just not in a good place. Um, but I powered through and I did the I did the shift. Um, and then the next day I I had woken up I don't know early afternoon and then gone back to sleep to, you know, have the fast pass a little faster. And when I woke up from that nap, it was already the end of the fast. And I had like this weird sensation in my body where it wasn't numb, but it was like pins and needles in my arms and legs. Um, so I'm like, "Okay, it's probably because I was dehydrated and fasting. This no, okay, I'll go break my fast and we'll be fine. Everything will be good." Um, so they continued for a few days. Um, so then at that point I was like, "Okay, this is not normal." So I went to the infirmary like hey nurse I can't feel my arms and legs like I can't help you got to go to the you got to go to the doctor. So I left camp early a day early before the session ended. Went to my refu health center. Shout out news square. Um they took me in ran some blood tests. Um called me back for another blood test cuz there were some tests that didn't you know they weren't so clear on the results. Um, and so then they called me back after the second round and they said, "You you're positive for Lyme disease." I'm like, "Oh, great. Lyme disease. What's Lyme disease? I don't know what Lyme disease." So Lyme disease is you usually get a tick bite and they have some sort of bacteria that gives over this disease this and that. Well, I don't remember ever getting a tick bite. And there's usually symptoms before this sensation, right? which is another symptom of Lyme disease, but there's usually steps that lead up to it. Um, so from the beginning, my mother my mother was skeptical. She's like, "Yeah, a lot of these tests are false positives, this and that." Whatever it was, they put me on antibiotics that calmed me down. This sensation feeling went away and went up to camp up the campa. And I think the day that I finished the antibiotics, I think I was on them for 14 days. I think the day that I stopped taking them that I finished this feeling came back and it was it was also the last night of camp which is also very emotional night in general. this feeling came back and like okay this is this is really weird this is coming back you know the doctor said I should just take the antibiotics and I'll be fine and sort of but I just ignored it and you know went on about it and you know a couple days later the feeling went away again this and that feeling came back you know my flight back to Israel I'm back in Israel my second year beginning of my second year Elman and Elman's always intense and And I felt the the need to get to know all the new guys because I, you know, I'm Ludicrous and Yuhiva. I'm like the one of the popular guys, whatever it was. So I felt the need to get to know the guys. I put a tremendous pressure on myself and this feeling, you know, came back and I started speaking to nurses. What could it be? And said I was I think it's called I forgot what it's called. Whatever this sometimes up to 6 months after having Lyme disease the this feeling the sensation can come back and maybe it's called a phantom something phan phantom Lyme disease something like that. Okay. Okay. So that's what it is. I just have to ride this out for the next you know half a year maximum. Um, and then I got very sick like a, you know, like a cold or whatever, like, you know, the Israeli air conditionings, you know, right on me. I was in the top bunks. It was like right on, you know. So, I got like some sort of sinus infection plus this feeling. I I got to go see a doctor. I can't just be talking to the phone to the nurses. I got to like really get myself checked out. And I was convinced like I had some illness. That's it. I'm going to die. A whole big thing. Um, so I was busy on the phone speaking to my parents about my insurance policy. Can I just do I have to book an appointment? Can I just walk in? Whatever it was. And I'm speaking to my father and he's like, "You to settle down for a second. Stop for a minute. It really sounds like you have an emotional problem." And when he said that, I climaxed. I peaked that. I was like, "What?" I just felt so exposed. Ah, how could you say that about me? and and I'm like, "Yeah, you know, it is an emotional problem." He said, "Do you have someone that you could go speak to, a rebby, a therapist, someone?" And I'm like, "Yeah, I I'll go talk to Rabbi Fisher." So, I got off the phone with him, ran into the basement. And I wanted to refute him. Rebby, I need to talk to someone right now. It's like emergency. And he was in the middle of speaking to someone. So, he said, "I can't speak to you right now. could it wait? I'm like, "No, I can't wait." He's like, "Okay, here's someone's number. Give them a call. Tell them I sent you." So, I went met with a therapist, whatever. It was nice. Or I met with a rebby, spoke things out a little bit. And then later that night, I sat down with Reb Fischer and I unloaded everything, told him about the entire summer, everything that happened leading up to this point. And he said, "Wow, you really just sounds like you're not taking care of yourself, and you need a vacation." I'm like, Yeah, I guess. Like, yeah, I do. He's like, "Yeah, you got to chill out." I'm like, "How do I chill out? I don't know what that means to chill out." Um, and he's like, "You you just got to not show up. I just He's like, "I don't want to see you in Yeshiva for the next week. I don't want you to like I want you to just go away. Get out." This and that. So, I took like one day off, I think, uh, that I didn't show up to Yeshiva. Then I came back and I sat sat with him again and you know we spoke more about what was happening in the summer the different you know being the DJing camp and being you know and DJing other events throughout the summer. Um and he said you know sounds like you're spending a lot of time as Hudacris and not so much time as you castel and that's when it hit me. I'm like whoa like yeah that's exactly what's going on. living in this persona um that's just not sustainable because there's no one fueling the fire so it's just burning out. So we sat there and this is he's very big refer is very big on IFS. You're familiar with IFS therapy. >> You should explain it. >> Internal family system where every everything inside a person is called apart and it's all under you know one family and it's all intertwined and so on and so forth. So he's very big on this. So before he was big on it, he was mav into it and he um we sat there and he drew a a picture of a tree and the trunk he wrote Yehuda Castell on the trunk and then the branches and the leaves. He was writing other parts of me and one of those parts was Hudacris and various other things, a son, a roommate, a friend, various things. Um he said when you don't water the plants the plants die, the leaves fall off and that's it. So if Yehuda Castell is not being fed, doesn't have the right soil and the right water. That's it. It's all going to fall apart. And I'm like, yes, what do we do about this? So I said, you got to get into therapy, this and that, and and you got to relax. You really got to take take some time off. So that's when he sent me back to the old city. That's when he sent me to the old city. He's like, yeah, you'll go to the old city. They they have the whole thing there, but you're not going to be part of the program. You're just going to have a bed there and eat there. You'll go there for a month and just chill out. So, they didn't want me. They didn't want to take someone only for a month. So, I went for 3 months. Um, and yeah, I just chilled. I went on a lot of walks. That's where I met my therapist. Um, and I just really took a step back and calm down. I I I didn't take DJ jobs for a month or so. um and really just you know started to spend some time with myself cuz I had never had never done that um until then. So yeah, a lot of walks would go out to eat by myself like put myself in certain situations where like I had to just be alone and deal with that discomfort. Obviously all under the leadership of my therapist. I wasn't acting alone. That would have been uh dangerous. But um it was a beautiful beautiful process. And then I I went back to the Moshab after 3 months. It was shortly after Kaneka and and a couple months later it was PUM. And just like that the world shut down and that's when Corona started and and I had anyways planned on staying in Earth for Pesaf. So I stayed I was in I was in on the moshave me and nine other guys we stayed we we powered through we made our own pesak it was beautiful most well most well holiest pes probably I've ever had and um so so that also is you know one of the big braas of corona not just for myself but I think for a lot of people was was the time off that you know people had a lot of time to spend with their families a lot of time to spend alone to think to contemplate what are we doing here? What's what what is this all about? So I had I had a lot of that time and so you know I I start started being more serious with my ding and and speaking to Baru and and whatnot and and and at that time also I was already at a comfortable place um with myself. So now looking back retroactively to this Lyme disease uh diagnosis. So my mother was in my stomach right the entire time. It was a false positive and and it was it was just severe panic attacks that I was having um and you know when when anxiety is not dealt with for a long time it it the body starts responding um and giving signs physical signs. Um, so that's what when my, you know, that sensation was happening, that's that's what was going on. I was having these panic attacks and sometimes it would last up to like a week, I would have this feeling. So, so having those few months that I've worked through the anxiety and started understanding what anxiety is and what what it means to me and how how it could be a superpower for me and how I could, you know, really take it and help my, you know, build myself up. I was at a comfortable place when Corona took place. And I remember just sitting in my bed one night and thinking about if if I'm starting to feel these feelings of anxiety and I'm I'm good. I'm like I'm on this massive campus. I got air to breathe. I could go outside, take a walk, exercise. I'm an artist stroll. I'm not like back home with my families that you know guys went back to their families that you know they're not seeing eye to eye in that per that time period or whatever it might be. So if I'm starting to feel these feelings, I could only imagine guys back in America where America was even crazier. Okay, it was crazy here. The lockdowns, not so much Moshave Matio was like, you know, a little remote over there. But America was crazy with the the shutdown, especially New York. Hundreds and hundreds of people are dying like like flies. Mom is dropping like flies. So if I'm having these feelings, I can only imagine my friends are going through similar things. Um so at that time I I decided to start a online a zoom group uh not a therapy group but a a group where we get together and and talk things out and we called it let's talk anxiety and um and it was it was a huge help to a lot of the guys that were you know going through similar things in America. And then once corona settled down and guys were allowed to come back to earth so we continued in person we just had this you know the this group meeting once a week or twice a week let's talk anxiety and we just shared and and spoke about different methods of working through anxiety and defining anxiety Fischer came and they gave a whole class so was very successful and so yeah that was like that was my journey with anxiety. Wow. >> First of all, thank you so much for sharing. It's it really means a lot to me and sure my audience of hearing, you know, someone's journey and it and and the fact that it's still going on. It's not something that's uh you know um it's not something that you just oh you flip a switch and it's done. It's it's work. >> I think that the one thing that I've learned in all these discussions >> anxiety by the way is one of my favorite topics just so you know. >> Okay, great. So I would say relationships, anxiety, >> uh not to say that we should harp on it because uh there is an element of just be happy and recognize the good that we have in this world and >> you know don't overwhelm yourself >> using it as a superpower. >> What a powerful vert what a great thing to say. I want to go back to so much of what you said. >> Um but I do want to I I do want to take us to where you are now just so I can paint the picture and then go back to that. So, uh, you know, so you you pause now for a minute and saying, "Okay, so I figured it out. I went through the, you know, had the group, you know, fed off each other. You're still single. You're in your second third year, right? This >> is my third year." >> Third year. What happens after that? >> Um, >> how did Nissen Black get in that picture? That's what I want to know. >> That That was also a Corona uh experience, >> by the way. Super cool how Chachi PT picked up on that question. the first thing it's like, you know, so I think I'm going to keep doing that. I like it because I used to do like a version of Chappie T says what about you? But it summarizes you and go straight to the question. So shout out to >> or at least my version of it. Um but yes, so so tell me how that happened like you know so you started to get more popular. >> Yeah. >> Uh obviously because you're good at what you do by the way. I don't want anyone to think that just like okay Corona happened therefore you know you became popular. >> You're very very talented. I I you know, like I said, you know, I I appreciate music. I appreciate DJs and um it's something that makes me in my happy place when I when I you know, uh music of all types. So, and and I heard the way you do it and the way you read a room and the way you hype people up and it's fantastic. So, um how did you get to Nissim? How did you get to the to where you are today where this is pretty much your prinasa? >> Yeah. >> So, just take me to where you are today. >> Yeah. Um, >> and when did you become this? >> So, I I I grew up like this. This, you know, my father dresses like this. >> So, you were always you're always with Pis and a beard. Always. Okay. Never had a tufa where I got >> But did you actually turn on to breast liver or something? Is that something that happened or >> um not necessarily I >> What do you believe in? What do you What do you relate yourself to? >> I love it all. I love it all. Hashem. >> Okay. >> You know, I have Rebi. I guess he's really my reb. >> Sure. Um and then I'm connected to various other sadikim. Um >> there's no specific uh group that you connect but I definitely definitely connect to and to breast 100%. >> Okay. >> But just as much as I connect to Kabad as well. So >> right right people in Urslammo who are you know my my uh >> one of some of my favorite people in the world. Uh they've said it in the past it's breastlive and it's all joined but is a great way to say it. So I'm happy you explained that. So, >> um, >> yeah. So, so yeah, I've always looked like this. I maybe had like a year and a half where I wasn't dressing like this >> when I first came to Israel just because, you know, I needed that >> time a little bit, but I always kept my pace. I always kept my beard. >> So, you were single then and then So, you're growing. Take me through to where you are now. You're meeting your wife and, you know, you go through that process. So um so yeah after my fourth year in yeshiva um my rebby felt I was ready to to start dating or whatnot. Um in terms >> you mean he didn't make you date the first year of yeshiva. Wow. >> Oh no. >> Okay great. >> Um in terms of the DJing you know the power of social media is is amazing. And um I had uh I had uh well I was continuing Cam Simple also so that was definitely helping with build up the popularity. >> But uh but yeah there was just some videos on on Instagram on Tik Tok that just went crazy viral. >> Um so that put a lot of eyes on me too. >> You mean of different moves that you were making like different uh >> Yeah, just various there's like one video of me doing like a the walk like when I was playing like still Dre, you know, from Dr. Dre. uh you know I was playing that beat and I was like doing the dance to it. So that went crazy viral because no one's ever seen a guy dance in that way you know. So so like those type of things and yeah and you know there was various dance moves that I guess you know I was you know really into it. So um yeah that um really took off. So in terms of DJing it was you know every year was just getting more and more and for sure once the social media stuff started going viral that was like a huge boom. Um um and then also connected to to Niss also. Niss was kind of before the viral videos started going around was also during Corona. There was the first corona that the guys c first sukus corona during corona that the guys came back there at st everything was still on lockdown. They're still they're letting people in the country but you have to like do quarantine and this and that. So and and all the events and everywhere were canceled. No one was doing crazy parties or whatnot. So we, you know, we have 150 guys cooped up on a campus. We got to entertain them. So I was uh me and a few other guys were tasked with making that happen. So um Nissim and River Fischer already were going back a few years. So they already knew each other and he said, you know, let's get Nissim reach out to him. So I was, you know, in touch with his manager at the time and I told him, listen, we have we have Niss coming in. I happen to be a DJ. I'm anyways going to be there. So, let me let me spin for him. You know, why not? He's like, "Yeah, for sure. Here are the tracks. Here's his number. Be in touch with him about the set list." Um, so we did it. So, the first time performing with him was in Fischers and um and we hit it off. We just had a great >> How was that for you? >> It was surreal. I don't think I really appreciate it in the moment. I kind of think I was probably a little bit in the clouds. Obviously, it was it made it easier that it was like I'm just performing for my boys. So, like how bad could it be? Like what really go wrong? Um and then we finished and we just had a great um chemistry on stage and after the show we were just smooing and he's like that's it. You're coming with me everywhere. That's it. We're doing this. So that you know started um as Chad GBT my career with Nissan Black where we spent two three years traveling together. >> No way. >> Um yeah >> like where like all over the world type of thing. >> Mainly America. >> Okay. You're single though. That's still at the time. >> This was um towards the end. It was like we started off when I was single. >> Okay. >> And >> how'd you meet your wife? >> So it was actually during one of my tours. >> You met your wife at a party? >> No no no no. It was during one of my tours with him that it came up. It was actually it was a whole crazy about this crazy. So, so let's go off topic to to to finding my wife says a well-known kabala from he brings it down that to say to him twice and then to for whatever you want and it'll be that coming year. So um so I said to him twice and I had in mind for my friend who was very sick at the time and for one of the times and and the second one second safer when I finished it was that I meet my wife that I you know meet my basher this coming year. So um not even a week later or maybe about a week later during a service machuva I get a a phone call from the brother of this friend that I was diving for and he's like I just got off the phone with this woman. I'm pretty sure she's she's my neighbor and I'm pretty sure she was talking about her daughter but she didn't say so I don't know but if it's her daughter like whoa what a sh and she sounds so pumped about you and and I'm pumped about it for you. this is like this is going to be good. I'm like, "Okay, great." We get the shaken involved going back and forth. They speak to Rabbi Torski. Rab Torski, you know, is gets involved and then the shaken reaches out to me shortly probably shortly after sukus probably and she's like they said no for for whatever reason. They said she said that the rebi said that they should they they they should shouldn't pursue it. whatever it was they said no I'm like okay that that's weird on a few different thing on a few different levels but for one being like you know there's just so much of this you know I finished the hillm not even a week later the brother of the guy that I was diving for you know both things were like connected to this to this girl so whatever I had to be mature about it and move on and start pursuing other Um I meant to say before this Elo's mom before that Rashana at the end of summer's mom Fischer's son got engaged and he was he's a Tom Movan David the mayor um so as well my rebby for that year was as well so at that vert my my rebby took me up for said oh this is Huda Castell he's a masher he died tremendously this year and he's tak ready to get Right. And Ryan David, I don't know if you know Ryan David, but he's got the sweetest, most prec precious face. He looked up, he looked up at me with a smile and he said, "It should be your first girl." I said, "A man, beautiful." And this is already like two months in that I was in in officially. And I walk away with my rib like, "How did he know I haven't gone out with any girls yet?" And he's like, "Ah, he knows everything." I'm like, "Well, if he knows everything, then I'm taking this braha and running with it." Um, so yeah. So now back to to them saying no. Like it doesn't make sense. This is, you know, this girl came up. Sound really good and whatever. But okay, I have this braha from Rub and David. So let's, you know, maybe we dodged the bullet. If I didn't go out with her and I'm supposed to, you know, marry my first one, then, you know, maybe we we dodged one. Um, so fast forward to Kaneka time. I'm on tour with Nissim. It was my first tour with him. And um I was at the end of the tour. I was already back in Muny by myself. He he might have already gone back to Israel. I'm not sure. Whatever it is, I had a roommate that year who had a sister. He and he really wanted me to date her and he's from my happened to be a Muny and she's he's like, "She'll go out with you tonight." I'm like, "I don't know. I'm flying back in a couple days. I don't know if I want to be dating right now." This and that. Um, and that same day, the shakim that originally said no, reached out. She's like, "Oh, remember this girl, Gerie? She the the parents want you to go out with her now." I'm like, "Are you kidding me? All these months with nothing." And then I get two girls on the same day. So, uh, so that that's when I call my Rebi and I was like, "Rebi, what do I do? You know, we have the bra from David. I want to make the right decision." He's like, "First of all, we don't make decisions based off bras." But the way it sounds like it doesn't doesn't sound like you're in the right head space to be dating in America right now. You want to come back to So come back there. You go out with this girl here. So I hustled my dar sham right there and then went went to the hot house and got my dirty sham done. went back to that show and then like a week later went on with my wife and and and I knew already before the date like that she's gonna be the one you know and even the show the more more about this was that that day that they called back was was and as we know by by the rash is is is finished is is finished on I'm glad we have this wine here. >> Yeah. Right. >> This is doing great. >> Wow. >> So, yeah, that's how I met my wife. >> Well, a lot of good things happening at this point. You You're touring with Nissim, which by the way, Nissim is fire. Like, his energy is crazy. Like, >> he's the best. >> I love him. He's just like He has his own podcast now, by the way. It's the best thing ever that he's putting content out there. >> So important. And you know you when you're touring with him, where are you going? Like where >> you want like some of the exact >> Yeah. Give me some crazy places that you're going. >> Um we went to St. Thomas once in the Virgin Islands. Um >> what's there like >> there's Kabad there. >> Okay. >> Um so I think that's where there was the the his wife and their kids like drowned. This was like a few years back. I don't know if you remember. there was like a drowning and they were like the schlook in there and they're in at that time they were in um critical condition they I think they ended up passing away um so we went there to be makazik the the community over there and they brought in a lot of kabad also >> to just hype up the there small community but a lot of non Jews over there not sure what's going on over there in St. times. But um very cool place, gorgeous, a lot of spiritual energy over there. I never felt that outside of Earth. It was very bizarre. Maybe because it was an island and like the air is you know cleaner over there maybe. I don't know. Um so that was one exact place. Went to Vienna which was exot. Um >> and you got married already during this process right? So >> so yeah we so so yeah my first year on tour with him. Yeah. >> Was before I got married and the second year was Yeah. >> Stupid question. >> Who DJed at your wedding? >> I did. >> You did? >> I did. Yeah. Okay. All right. >> I wasn't gonna have a DJ. >> Okay. >> But I knew I knew the boys, you know, the boys want it. >> Yeah. But if you had to hire a DJ, >> if I'm hiring a DJ, like I'm not going to hire someone else, especially in Israel. Like all my DJ friends in America. >> Who would you have hired though? >> Probably John. >> Okay. >> Probably DJ John. >> Okay. That's great. >> Probably. >> That's great. >> Not you know. >> So being not throwing anyone else under the bus. >> No. No. It's okay. It's all right. >> It's also a personal connection there. Also, >> um you're still touring with uh >> Nissim like I'm not sure I'm not holding in the world of Niss and Black right now. >> So, we we kind of took a a break. >> Okay. >> Well, he he also stepped back a lot on his touring, you know, you know, he started the podcast. He wants to be here, >> right? He wants to be closer to home. >> Closer to home with his family 100%. >> Did you guys come out with anything um out there music-wise or is it >> not? I helped them out a few times in the studio. you'll find my name. >> Okay. But it's more of the gigs that you're going out. >> Yeah. It's like more of the stage performance like in the music videos. I'm I'm you know I'm there center stage. >> Is there one that's your favorite like type of memory that you have that's out there that like proud of? >> Adored was a very fun music video to shoot with him. >> Okay. >> That was on by the Dead Sea. Stunning. Stunning shots over there. That was very fun. And the crowd that came, you know, he always likes to have people on standby, >> you know, and the crowd throwing their hands out. We were all Fischers guys. So, it was like it was just a party with parties with the boys. >> That's great. What What stands out with Nissim when you're touring with him? Like what? He's such a unique character. >> He's so unique. It's hard to capture. >> Yeah. I'm curious what from your perspective because I spent time with him when he came to u Jamaica actually. He was Oh, yeah. Yeah. And uh so, you know, I was with him for a few hours and he was >> such a he was just such an interesting like I'm not going to say low energy, >> but when he's by himself, he's just very subdued. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And it's so interesting. And he got his family on the phone and he was talking to them quietly and I couldn't believe it. >> Yeah. >> That's exactly what I was going to say is that >> Okay. Sorry. >> Him off the stage is my favorite version of him cuz he's so humble and so pushet. He just wants to do his despite this, speak to his wife and kids and like get a good night's sleep and like have some food. He He doesn't like the attention. Obviously, he knows he's getting a lot of attention. He's, you know, very out there, >> but he he doesn't chase it. He he he just wants to be like, if it was up to him, he would be hidden in the corner like no one knowing anything about him. >> Um, you guys are like dominating together, doing things like that together. When you're traveling, >> when we're traveling together, a lot of these places like we're going to communities that don't have a minion, so we're like domining together in the hotel room, you know, or wherever's house we're staying. >> Mikfa together. >> Uh, no, that's that's where he draws the line. We we can't sleep in the same room and we can't go to the mikvah together. >> Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Um Yeah. So, but that but yeah, just spending time with him off stage. >> What's something that he's what's something that he taught you through this process? Because I know there's so much that can be said about it, but I'm I'm curious what what's you know, especially someone who you're very >> I would say you're very self-aware at this point of your life. You know, you went through that process, which I want to get back to. Um, and being self-aware means that you're aware also of what's happening in your surroundings. So, I'm curious what you've learned from that. >> Um, it's taught me a lot of things. One thing is for sure putting Hashem first and and not like bending over to other people's needs and like, you know, definitely we've been we've been in the kitless together as as we like to talk as we like to call it. you know, we go into certain environments to perform and it's there's darkness there and um we're really bringing the light into these people's lives. Um and you know there's certain um situations that came up where people were acting certain ways and he's like you know we got to be we got to be look how we look you know this is how we representing ourselves and we got to put our kash first and and not give into it. M. So that's definitely one thing that stood out. And and another one is is is not wanting to always be in the spotlight. You know, he's definitely taught me a lot in in terms of humility of, you know, when you when the job's done, the job's done and and you carry on. Um alone, for him, it's much more challenging because he's a lot more wellknown. For me, you know, he also stands out in a crowd. You know, he's a blackish guy. Me, you know, I put on my hat. But I I fit in with the rest of the crowd. No one no one looks >> unless you pull out your board, which is not easy to pull out. Exactly. >> So, you know, um I have an easier time with, you know, >> hiding, but um but that's definitely something he really taught me is, you know, to be pushet, you know, you you have the the persona and you you know, put on the show. Not saying that's not a part of you and that that you don't have that higher energy. It's not it's not an act. You're not acting. You're not faking it. >> It's real. It's authentic, but um but it's not always it doesn't always need to be >> Sure. Love it. >> on the surface. >> Absolutely love it. Um let's um talk about the future, but look in the past at the same time. Uh you're you're growing. You know, you're just starting off. I can't believe you're 26 years old, by the way. Blows my mind. When's your birthday? >> Um Kafal Adar. Okay. I'm not going to make believe I know when that is. Is that in March? >> March 27th. >> March 27th. Okay. You you What sign are you? I have no idea. >> You don't know >> I'm Doug. I'm a fish. >> Doug. Okay, fine. Fine. Got it. Um there's a lot of you that you've unpacked here to me that I'm learning about you and I'm loving everything I'm hearing. Um especially like I mentioned before your self-awareness of your growth. You you're you're on your journey now. You're starting your life, your real life with you know uh you know where are you living? >> I'm all right. You mentioned that earlier. Okay. Bamesh. So it's, you know, you're ready to have a family there, God willing, you know, and and and Ramad is like the place where you, you know, you're going to have that. So what is it that you're going to do differently? What is it that you've learned from your past few years experience of going through what you've shared with me earlier that you're going to do as a parent? M >> tell me a little bit about what's on your mind now for the world that we're living in right now in terms of what's happening around us and the awareness that anxiety tremendously exists. Um >> sure the >> social media world the so much of what's scaring you what what what's on your mind? >> So I'll try to tie it into being a parent. >> Yeah. >> Um is that we've been in gullis for a long time. Um and gullis affects not just cla affects all the nations. You know the bas was the epicenter of spirituality for everyone. Everyone came. So there's a lot of fragmentation. There's a lot of erosion. There's a lot of there's a lot of darkness. We're going through a lot especially the the Jews. Um, so if there's one thing that I've learned from from this journey and and I'm still on the journey and and it's strengthening and this approach is definitely becoming more mature. Um, but one thing that I learned was Macabo from River Fischer and as well been Macabo from my father-in-law who we could talk about a little bit maybe at the end of the podcast. um is is being self-aware is is the main thing to becoming a healthier individual. Fisher likes to say um authentic sustainable happiness, let alone emotional health, comes from one's connection to reality, not their escape from it. And that reality might stink. Wow. I'm surprised that you you remembered word for word what you said. It's pretty the mantra. That's pretty great. I mean saying it's a great saying and I have to absorb what you just said. So you have to say it again. I'm sorry. It's it's you have to break it down for me. Yeah. >> Authentic sustainable happiness. >> Authentic sustainable. Okay. So true authentic sustainable longasting happiness >> let alone emotional health. >> Let alone emotional health. Meaning that we need to be emotionally healthy, right? >> Comes from one's connection to reality. >> Comes from my connection to the reality of what's happening around me, >> not their escape from it. >> Not the escape of my reality, which is what I'm sometimes doing. >> And that reality might stink. >> And that reality of what situation I'm in might stink. You know, had a hard day, challenges at work, family, etc. Wow. >> Yeah. So that's what I, you know, that's what I was raised on. That was like hearing that as a 18year-old, 19-year-old, that was life-changing. And >> I got to meet this Rabbi Fischer. Oh my gosh. I have I have a friend of mine who teaches there, Hanuk Mesner. >> Yeah, sure. >> And uh he he talks about him all the time. And it's like >> I got to get Hanukkah on the podcast. I have so much to do here in Israel. I don't want to leave. >> That's it. >> And uh >> Wow. Um, >> so yeah, that's >> so so in raising kids, how do you turn that into a reality, speaking of reality, >> right? Is is is is just having real conversations, talking about our thoughts, talking about our emotions. And so the more mature version of that is obviously Rafisher is preaching and speaking to teenagers. Um, so now that I'm married, my father-in-law is of a person. He's a rah. >> What's his name? >> Rabbi Gerie. Yoshua Gerie. >> Okay. Where's he from? He's from London originally. >> And so he was Mabel homeless from the sadikarum from the hidden sadikim >> tracing back all the way unbroken chain all the way to the balm and from the balm all the way to the times of the second base. >> Slow down. Come on. >> Yeah. Okay. Hold on. I I I never heard of your father-in-law's name yet. I'm happy to be introduced to him now on this podcast, but what you're saying is something that most people don't talk about. >> Yeah. >> And you're talking about hidden sadikim. >> Yeah. >> So, first you have to describe what that is and what it means. >> What the ladik. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, through every generation there's a group of people, the lavan is already brought down in times of the gar spoken about >> 36 Jews. >> 36 Jews. Holy holy Jews. >> Holy holy Jews that people you'll, you know, wouldn't look twice at you would never know. >> And who knows who they are. >> No one knows who they are. They usually get exposed like later on their life towards the end of their lives. They get to be more wellknown. >> Okay. >> Um and they're tasked with upholding the spirituality of the generation. They're really the people who keep everything together. Um so in the times of BMP it was called the secret society of the was called Kessus is or Mah sorry and and that's the bash really was a nister that's where he um started off he was he was orphaned as a very young boy and from his father his father passed away when he was very young and his mother left him with um Shv who was at the time the leader of the Narum and he was a Talmet of >> smoke coming out talking about the Balmp. >> That's it. Okay. >> Yeah. >> For those of you that don't see the candle just burnt out. >> Holy stuff happening here. I'm I'm ready by the I'm buckled in. This is an exciting conversation for me. >> Yeah, for sure. Um and he was a total of the the BMPs. was also, you know, part of the NARM. And um so the BMP bash was was was tasked and was given rishus to start revealing some of the teachings. He wasn't he wasn't given rishus to reveal everything, but he was given rishus to reveal some of >> So he was given permission to reveal who it was or just what it was that they learn. >> Not what it was that they're learning. Not who it was. people who knew knew type of thing. >> But um the NAM would only meet three or four times a year and they would get together and they would just share their >> This is a real thing. You're saying real time of the BMP till today. It's >> okay. I'm I'm just trying to you know I've heard this before in a few different variety of ways. I'm happy that you know about it so we can break it down for a minute. So 36 holy Jews that lived in a similar area I guess >> lot of dafa >> but they got together yourself. >> They would get together. Yeah. So I'm saying so then it means that the 36 people usually are >> well there's different groups of 36 different versions of you know depends on what you hold there's >> I see >> there's the 30 there's the sadikim of >> okay >> there's of sadikim of and then there's the l of sadikim of the of >> got it so lived where >> he lived in the Ukraine so he >> got it so it's of the I guess of of the people outside of >> so yeah and especially in that time period majority of the Jews were >> were there anyways sure okay good so 3 36 Six holy Jews would get together. >> Yeah. >> Three, four times a year. >> Yeah. >> And discuss amongst themselves. >> Yeah. Discuss where the dar is holding. Discuss, you know, their different methods of what they would do. They would travel. They would live in pretty much in gullis. No one knew who they were. And they would go around to different communities and and just help out >> just and then so the Balent would get that information from them and expose it to the world. >> No. So, so, so they would also they would also go over these lessons and these teachings that have been passed down all the way from times of secondh >> which is from the previous 30 who was the who was the Tana who began the as it's called that's what they when they get together it's called the >> I'm sorry for my ignorance. So, who created this 36? That's what who you just mentioned. >> I'm not sure who created sadikim. I think it's probably just like its >> Yeah, I know the started in the times the at the end of the second B of >> Okay, so the end of the second BDS and it's passed down generation to generation. The 36 pretty much know each other who the next 36 are going to be typically >> from your understanding. >> I'm not sure. I think they're more or less like tell me them. >> Got it. So they're more the students of the masters and they're passing it along. >> So take me back to the BMP of era now. Yes. So, so, so Bashento was was young and but he was a part of the society >> and um >> and when he was 36 years old he was he was given rashus to reveal himself as a tremendous wonder maker and balifus and as well to um bring out and start teaching these these wisdom teachings of of that's really what it's geared about is Hashem and how to how we interact with the world. >> Okay. And he got permission from the society >> from Yeah. >> Right. Okay. Um and as well on when on his 36th birthday it's also when he um it's it's the day um so as well when he did an alias nama I believe or maybe it was rash following that whatever he he did an alias nishama um >> alas nama is >> elevation of the soul he had >> of his own soul >> of his own soul yeah he had an out of body experience which flew to heaven >> right Okay. And this is all documented in a letter that he um that he wrote to his brother-in-law Gershar who was here in New Shalam who was learning um in the Yeshiva Mub in the old city um by the which is also interesting. The and the have a lot of similarity. So he sent this letter to him. He documented this whole out-of- body experience. Um and it never made it to his brother-in-law. It made it to the um to the to the Tus. Yeah. To the Tus. It was also it was a T of the Bent. Okay. Um and in this letter he documents how he didn't release Nishama and he was brought to the highest the highest gates and he was introduced to the nish of Msiah and he asked my master Mashiach when when will you come? And Mashiach said when your teachings will be like the wellsp springs across the world then your teachings will be known everywhere in every part of the the world and everyone will be able to do unifications um like you can do and that's that's when that's when I'll come that's when m will arrive. Um so this is a special day. It's just a day that you know he has his birthday. He had this sh he had you know that's when he revealed himself. Um so so that's that was really like the birth of in a way. Um so he had a primary Talmud who was the maggot maggot of Mesich and he really revolutionized not the Bent was was the revolutionary >> passed it on >> and the mag was the he institutionalized >> okay >> and he his not even really first gener I guess well his tummy were third generation already so not they're all like these hidden sadikim like we know about them but they didn't start big dynasties you know most of them you know did their thing and they had holy kids but the kids didn't like carry on >> um so much but by times the the tidum of the mid they started going out and started dynasties and raising their children and the children all became rabbis and that's really started >> some of those teachings though if we can pause for a minute do you know any >> yeah sure sure so we'll get there >> okay I'm sorry I'm overly excited excited. Sorry. >> Sure. All good. Um, so yeah, so tell me the mag. So that's when kabad started, right? The alterb was a of of the mid and and various other, you know, chaob started by the ma, you know, he was a tot of the of he was a of the bash of as well. So Chernobyl does have a little bit of that mess also. But you see by the Telmid of the of the Bash none of them you know carried on and became huge dynasties like we see today. Um so some of those Tidum was one of the titles of he you know he has like a son buried in in Tavaria. Aside from that I don't think any of his family any of his descendants became um big rebels. Then there's uh his grandson bagel maknafim who am a descendant of him and he was a huge not a huge nister but he was more hidden and you know he he learned by his grandfather he learned so he got a lot of the wisdom teachings so a lot of what we know about the bash bash didn't write anything he just gave over his shirim and then wrote things down so a lot of the thing a lot of the lessons of the bashv we know from from from his grandson the deel Um and then there's um who was as well a grandson of the Basham. And then there's Basham's son who was a huge Nister who he really was given over the the you know he got the crown but he didn't want it. He was a huge minister that he didn't want to any you know popularity and so he was he was in charge for one year and then after that he he he gave it over to the mid and so more or less you see that by the by the of the other thing is they're not called the bent they're called so they they you know they're a huge and and you know they stayed hidden more hidden more or less so Um so I mentioned before his brother-in-law Gerson Kit who was definitely a huge Savic. Um he was actually I believe the father-in-law of the Deal Maf. So I think I'm also a descendant of his. So he's buried here in Harism. So he had uh so he had a a powerful line of descendants but again they were like more hidden. Um so one of his descendants was Rabio Ysef Singer who was a pillsner was a son of the of the previous pills of and whatever he was grew up in Europe um and he was one of the naram and he came from a family of naram his father was a nister his brother was a nister he came from he came from um so he's one of the many sadikim that I'm familiar with and my father-in-law was z to be very close to um and he gave over a lot of the Messiah to him and and as opposed to giving over the Msiah to his own kids and having them, you know, carry the torch, he he gave it over to my father-in-law. My father-in-law was uh was tasked with uh disseminating these teachings to the more to the English speaking world. Um and again these these teachings are focused on Hashem and really how we interact with the world and become becoming about and which is self-awareness and and just being aware of um who we are and what we are where we are um so within that there's you know how we interact with the world how we interact with different people um And >> we're good. Everything. >> Yeah. Yeah. So far I'm understanding it. And and basically this is the recipe of the coming of Messiah. It sounds like, right, based on the Bal Shamto's teaching, right? Because that's the only thing he wrote. It sounds like >> in that letter, right? >> Well, he wrote many letters >> in the letters, I'm saying, right? He wrote letters, but he didn't he didn't write his teachings, it sounds like. >> Yeah. Correct. >> So, but in that letter of explaining that So, this is the antecdote. >> Yeah. >> Of what's needed. >> Yeah. >> Self-awareness is one of the big ones. Yeah. >> What would you say is >> probably the biggest one? >> The biggest one. >> Yeah. Because we know that in times of it's based on we know the times of of of the of Mashiach is going to make a return return never really left. There are people today that have this kayak of Nv but on a on a broad um playing field. >> Fascinating to me. So your father-in-law knows um at least some of the hidden sadik that are around today. >> Yes, 100%. I I even know I You even know them. >> I've met some of them. Yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> And this is a widely accepted group of people. It's not like something that you decided or >> Yeah. >> It's not It's not argued over. >> Yeah. Well, maybe some are, you know, not necessarily for sure. >> Okay. You know, >> can you introduce me to any? >> Um maybe. Yeah. I probably take you. Yeah. >> Yeah. These are people that live in Jerusalem. So, >> um there are definitely some that live in Jerusalem. I'm saying there's 36 just in line. So, >> right. >> So, yeah. And you guys know most of who they are. >> I don't know. My father-in-law knows more than I do, but >> Wow. >> He doesn't. >> That's pretty cool. >> Doesn't tell me everything. >> Okay. >> But I'm saying we want Mashia to come, right? So, we want to learn as much as we can. >> Yeah. So, it's really learning these teachings. Yeah. >> Yeah. Somebody making a book of these teachings. >> So, my father puts out a lot of things. Yeah. And now we have the yeshiva which is >> I see. So, that's connected to the yeshiva. >> Yeah. >> I see. Okay. So, this yeshiva that you started is together with him. >> Yeah. >> Ah, I see. Okay. So yes, the main focus is really >> So the boys that are going to come there are going to be self-aware and learn about the teachings of the bal. >> Yeah. >> And uh help bring Msiah. >> Yeah. >> I can't wait. >> Hopefully. And uh Yeah. So so big part of it is is das is becoming a balas and and and das is the communicator between the nishama and the nephesh. Right? There's three levels. the nama the soul and the nephesh which is your body. >> Yeah. So there's the well there's two aspects to the nephesh whatever that's whatever >> well let's try to keep it basic. There's nefes and shama. So ru is is >> translate into English when you're saying it. So ish which is let's call it the anim animalistic soul the ego self. >> Okay. >> And then there's ru which is this the spirit. I guess that's how you define ru. And then nama is the the higher aspect of the soul. >> I see. >> Godly soul. >> Um >> so the different parts of your soul is what you're saying. So there's the anim animalistic soul and then there's the spiritual higher soul. >> Yeah. >> And then the >> so within nephesh. So the nephesh is the anim animalistic the ego self. So that's instant gratification. It's it's in the short it's in in it for the short game. It's not it's not trying to play the long game. is in for the long game, right? All the things that are are yet to come. So, which is das is intended to be the communicator between the two. And it could also be defined in terms of the spherus could be defined as taris, right? There's there's there's the kabar which is I guess the nama and then the the the lower spherus and is the embodiment of of you know of and guru are working in perfect harmony which is aligned is in the middle it's all aligned so um so that's the job of das so the more a person is >> again being self-aware >> being aware it's hard to define exactly ly what dosas is it plays a different >> it plays different roles in different scenarios but but more or less that it's the communicator that's why I like to say it's the communicator of of where persons are holding >> in their nephesh and where they're holding in the naman where they're holding physically and where they're holding spiritually and the more person is aware of where they're holding the more a person can work with themselves to become more embodied integrated whole shale whatever you want to call >> there's the harmony right there >> there's the harmony Yes. Yes. >> So does so that's so that's so that's then that's when a person accomplishes that that's that's the private gula. >> How so how how are we going to get the ultimate gula of the >> please I can't end this podcast without hearing this. >> How we going to get the ultima is is using those same tactics but but focusing it outward and how we relate to the world around us and to the people around us everything outside of us. Um, so using the same tactics of of becoming a baldas of of getting to know yourself, the more person's okay with themselves, the less they're going to care about what other people think about themselves. And once you don't care what other people think about you, you're going to be you're not going to care about really what you think about them. You're just going to love them and and hold space for them even if you don't see eye to eye. And you know um I think it's also Matim that we're talking about this on October 7th which which was a horrible horrible day but it it at the same time sparked tremendous love in the Jewish world for one another. And I was just, you know, looking at some of the clips now of, you know, of what October 11th looked like and all these are coming with these vans and making these barbecues for for the soldiers and everyone's hugging and enjoying and embracing each other and and sometimes we need a you know a kick in the tus to really um wake up and and and obviously that's what October 7th was. It was a wakeup call and and we answered the call to a certain respect. It kind of faded out and you know, we're holding on to aspects of it still. But but but that's that was that was gula. That was everyone didn't matter what you look like, what you do, everyone was looking out for you. And and it's still it still occurs. I would say it probably occurs more outside of Eritrol you know like when a person's like traveling and uh you know in America or wherever anywhere outside of >> yeah to the negative and the positive >> right to the negative and positive and you'll see like a you know a non-firmed Jew will see you and they'll come over and you know they'll ask you to put on the fill in you ask them to put on fill in or which happens so also but I think it happens more outside where um people are more excited to see like a for sure for me guy growing Growing up in Milwaukee, it was always exciting when we would go on holiday trips and see another Jew in Six Flags like, you know, it's not, you know, it's rare. It's more rare. Um, >> it's an interesting perspective. >> Yeah. >> Um, so there's just like that love that, you know, I don't even know who that person is, but I know he's a YD. That's all I need to know. Um, so that's definitely that's definitely part of it. >> Wow. >> Part of I don't know. It's all of it. Thanks for reminding me that we're recording this on October 7th. I did not I wasn't aware of that already. Uh the day is just, you know, been busy ahead of me. So, >> uh the nish should have an aliyah. That's what the candle will be dedicated for today. >> Amen. >> Um I'm so appreciative of you coming on here and sharing this all with me. It's amazing. And um >> I you know it it's just amazing what you can learn from anybody and everybody. And it's like, you know, I see you, you're a DJ, you're having fun, you're you're you're lifting the spirits. So much depth to you. So much we can learn from. So much, you know, uh looking back at uh everything we spoke about just uh you know, an out oftowner, you know, what it's like to be a kid and forgiveness and, you know, moving on and moving up and you know, the power of a rebby and a therapist and uh you know, self-awareness. >> I would say moving in, not moving on and moving on. Moving in. Okay, that's that's uh that's a great point. I like it. We should all be ready to move in and move in more so that we can move up, >> which is which is beautiful. We're going to have to wrap up shortly, but um I'd like to ask before we wrap up if you have any questions for me. >> I don't know. I don't think >> if you if you were, you know, interviewing me or have any questions. It's okay. It's just >> Yeah, I guess I would ask you what what like I would ask you if you have any questions. Have any you know. No, I think that you've answered all my questions and I appreciate it. Um, >> you know, you said something earlier about, you know, being with yourself, spending time with yourself. That to me personally was very meaningful. I've spoken about this on the podcast before about how sometimes, you know, it could feel so busy and I have so many friends and so much out there, but yet sometimes feel so lonely as well. and learning how to be with yourself and be happy within yourself is something that I'm learning about a lot. So, I appreciate that conversation tremendously. Um, but I will ask you a final thought on that topic. Um if you can share what you've learned from that and looking back and something that you can share with others in terms of loneliness in terms of being feeling alone and that that anxiety that you feel when you are alone or that you feel alone what's something that you can add value to that thought? So there's like a a stigma of like being lonely is a bad thing. Let's put it in these terms. When a person passes away, they're g if if they had a good relationship with themselves and and you know, you know, lived a proud life, then then once the final pile of dirt covers them in the ground, they'll be okay with themselves. They'll be they'll be gone then. But if they have a lot of regret and they have a lot of negativity towards themselves and animosity, whatever you want to call it, that's just going to be Genom. When you're stuck there by yourself and the you know, R Fisher says Genum is when when the last layer of dirt's put on and and you realize there's no Wi-Fi, when you feel when you realize you're alone. So, I think there's nothing wrong with being alone. I think uh I think things that needs to be spoken about more is is is for me all of my relationships got better when my relationship with myself got better when I was spending more time with myself just getting to know myself what do I like to do writing journaling writing things out where am I holding you know not keeping it inside journaling really there's a release I'm not sure what the release is I know that Sadik can talk about it there's a release from pen to paper there's a certain release that It's outside of me now. I'm not I'm not just dealing with this alone. I put it out there. Practicing gratitude. I still practice gratitude every single day, at least three times a day. I hope to do that forever. And that that helped tremendously with just being okay with myself, realizing I have so much to be grateful for. um that Hashem is is so kind and and people are so kind, the world is so kind and focusing and zoning on that. Obviously, there's always wherever there's kaduca, there's the equivalent of of tum. So, so it really it's all depends on our perspective and what we want to focus on. That's what Yeah, I think that's uh >> yeah, I think it's very well said and it's true that I I I don't think it's spoken about enough. um I will be the one to speak about it a lot. >> Okay. >> Uh because it's something that is near and dear to me because it's part of who I am >> and I can't fake who I am, >> right? >> And I never will. So talking about the uh feelings of loneliness or feeling alone or challenges and that's really essentially what I want this podcast to be about and uh growing from within. I think that's you're you're I'm adding that to what your what you said earlier, which I appreciate tremendously. Uh before I let you go, I always ask our guests if you have any uh guests that you would suggest that would be able to fill the seat. Is there anyone that you would have in mind? >> Can I say a few people? >> Please. If we get them all, it would be even better. >> Hey, a main I would say um Fischer. >> Fisher without a doubt, by the way. Without a doubt. He lives here, I'm imagining somewhere in >> Oh, okay. Uh, so I don't know how long you're here for. >> I'm going to have to come back for these. Keep going. >> Um, and then I would say my father-in-law >> Jersey. He He's a extremely interesting person. >> I would have an entire podcast about Lammed Vnik, by the way. I'm not even joking. >> He would love that. He He's got a lot to say. He's done a lot of things in life. >> Love it. >> You know, he's like Yeah, he Yeah, he's I'll save it for the time that uh that you have him on. We could talk then I'll give you some things to ask him about. But he's very interesting. Um yeah. >> And then of course Niss Black. >> Yeah. Nissimoso. Yeah. We have to but Niss you have to be you have to be not careful. You have to be very specific with him because Yeah. He said his his story so many times in all these podcasts. He doesn't need to say his story again. I think to like go in with an agenda to talk about certain topics, >> you know. I like what I like what you're saying and I want to I want to >> I think you would appreciate that. >> I want to hone in on that for a second because I'm not exactly what you said is what I'm trying to do. You see I I think you've been on a podcast before, right? >> Yeah. >> Because when I did the chat before you walked in, it said that you were on a podcast talking about anxiety. It did say a little bit and I was like, "Oh, this is going to be fun." >> Um >> give me your advice. You were on another podcast. You were just on my podcast. >> I want to do exactly that. I don't want to do it just for Nissen. >> Yeah. >> I want to do it for everyone who I interview. I don't want to be the person to just go over a story, even if you've never said it before. I I want it to be in a different flavor. I want it to come from a perspective of truth. Yeah. Of emotion, of relationship building, of growth, of dealing with the troubles that a person had or has and how they're dealing with it, hopes for the future. So, give me your advice. >> Well, going in with that knowledge with me, you had to speak it out a little bit because you didn't know anything about me. But hey, you could do some research. You could find out a little bit about his upbringing. And with that knowledge now he could talk about the things that he likes to talk about. You know he's very into the political scene what's going on in polit with politics and he has a very unique perspective because of his upbringing. So you know with keeping that in mind I think that could open up >> interesting you know um I'm going to start something new uh based on what you're saying. Not only am I going to ask who you think I should have on the podcast I want you to tell me the topic that I should >> Yeah. You know, so with Nissim, I like what you're saying in terms of >> politics. I think he really he enjoys speaking about politics and you know, he enjoys talking about St. >> Sure. >> Um and and and Clai where like the generations are holding he I love that you're telling me this. And Rabbi Fischer. >> Yeah. Fisher he wants. Yeah. He loves talking about anything. You can talk to him about anything really. Um, but definitely healing, getting also getting, you know, getting to know oneself is definitely those are huge topics >> in his world. >> Um, >> and I'm imagining with your father-in-law, it's okay to talk about the L and Vavnik. >> My father, you could really talk about anything with him and he'll have an experience about everything. So, >> okay, this has been an experience for me. I really appreciate you coming. It's it was uh it was so nice getting to know you from a deeper level and uh hearing your story firsthand and >> I I I literally have the best job in the world. I get the I get a front row seat at growth with stories that just blow me away and things that I can learn from and I've learned so much from this conversation and I hope that >> all of our listeners learn as well. Thank you to all of our subscribers, our listeners and our comments and you know all the feedback. We're loving it all. Thank you to the Prime Source production team and again shout out to our listener of the week Shua Greenfield and >> thank you inviting you. That's a wrap. Thank you. >> Okay. Thank you.