A Rabbi's Journey of Love and Acceptance

I'm living my dream. In other words, I didn't particularly want to go into business [music] and be very wealthy and have like, you know, beautiful cars or watches. Our entire upbringing was all about rebuilding. And then you add the kabad component, which was like the the teaching that we are going to respond the ways that the Nazis hunted Jews with hatred. We're going to hunt Jews with love. [music] >> None of your business, Oshi. None of your business, Michael. It's the None of Your Business podcast [music] hosted by Michael and Oshi. Welcome back everybody to another uplifting episode. You like that one? >> I like it. >> Of the none of your business podcast. I'm your host Michael Greenfield. With me of course is co-host Ushi Schwarz. And today we have with us the venerable >> Thank you, Rabbi Dove Oliver. Welcome to the program. >> Thank you. Thank you for having me. >> It's nice to have you with us. You know, I don't know if you know Oshi, but him and I met the first time when uh I was sitting on the floor outside a pizza store >> in protest. [laughter] That's that's how it went down. Yeah. >> Do you remember this? >> Yes. >> Well, you know, why don't you say your perspective? >> How did you first meet me? >> I first met you pretty much with your buddies, like homeless people, just sitting on milk crates eating uh pizza. And I think you were disappointed that Kai Pizza had taken out the seating and you said, "We're still gonna sit. Doesn't matter if the seating's gone, we're gonna sit." >> And I walked past this strange group and I got your names and then I sent a picture to Manakim and I said, "Who are these guys?" And he was like, "Oh, no. They're good guys." [laughter] >> So, how many years ago was >> Thanks, man. Years. It was a few months ago. Kai Pizza opened up. >> We just met each other a few months ago. >> Yeah, maybe about a year. About a year. >> So, I know Dove way longer than you. >> Okay. I known him for seven years. >> Yeah. 10 years. >> Is it always Dove or is it sometimes David? >> Uh it's Dove for the Americans. It's Dove for most people. And uh my legal name is actually Dave, which is very uncommon because most people who are called Dave, their legal name is David. And I'm named Dave because it's a funny story. I was born right after the inbi hostage situation. My parents looked at the passenger lists and any Jewish sounding names, they separated. It wasn't just the Israelis. Anybody who sounded Jewish and they put them on the side and the non-Jewish passengers were were left alone. I guess they figured uh with the last name Oliver, which isn't too Jewish to begin with, if they have Schlom Dave Bear, they'll work out that I'm Jewish, but Dave Oliver, I'll probably be safe if there's another hijacking. So, they legally named me Dave. So, that's my legal name. >> Wow. So they were they were little bit of a stretch there. They were moved by it. You're saying it was during the era where they >> it was the post and Tbby panic where the whole world I was born right after that. Everybody was still like very much on their minds and it came time to name me and they said we'll go with Dave Oliver. >> So you were named out of precaution is basically how you got your name. >> Yes. >> Interesting. Uh it is pretty interesting because I actually was in Israel recently and I met one of the survivors of >> Antbi and um I tried uh talking to him on camera but he's got a lot of PTSD and >> we actually have right here in my um one of the um commandos one of the soldiers that that did the raid. He lives right here on Mariner and uh he's a great guy and he has uh come and spoken for our students. It's incredible. Uh name please. >> Speak. Uh his name is David Yaniv. Um he doesn't love to speak but you know. >> David Yanv. >> No. No. David. David David's coming on. I mean it's >> Yeah, you have. >> You could give it a shot. I have to beg him for a while before. >> Is he related to Daniel Yanv? >> I'm not sure. I don't know. >> You know who Daniel Yanv is? No. >> I imagine they're related. I think >> but I'm saying someone who lives in our neighbor that speaks to people publicly >> is a good candidate to be here because uh like I said, it's an uplifting this version of our podcast today is uplifting. You know, the beauty in what we're doing actually in terms of our podcast is that we're interviewing people from all different walks of life. So, sometimes it's uplifting, sometimes it's magical, sometimes it's comical. Um, but >> sometimes it's musical. >> That's true. That's when he falls asleep. >> Yeah. >> The musical actually I have a Tina is that I've been asking to come and play music at one of our hills on and off for the last year since we met. >> It's nice to see it on your status, but we want you to come and join us. Is this the same office where we did the >> mitzvah? >> It is. >> That was a very nice. >> We should share that story with people. I think that was a very inspiring story. >> Yeah, that was >> uh we should talk about that. But Michael, let's get started. Why don't we let the audience know a little bit about Rabbi Dov Oliver? >> No, no, you can't do that. What's the story? >> Well, we'll get to the story, don't we? >> Okay, now everyone's going to edge their seat. >> It better be a damn good story, by the way. [laughter] >> It's a pretty incredible story. Uh, Rabbi uh, Dove Rebd Hale Rebdov. So your full Hebrew name is >> Schllay Devar. >> Wow, beautiful name. Ben >> Casriel, my father in Australia. >> From Australia. What part of Australia? >> Melbourne. >> We Americans, we don't know much about >> We don't know much about any of them. >> Yeah. That's like a whole another part. I'm not even sure if Australia really exists. >> It's too far. >> I've been told that it's a real place, but I >> You know who we've been told by? One of our superstar employees, Kim. >> Yeah. Yeah. Because she moved there, >> right? Yeah, >> recently she she moved to Australia. She left the only reason anyone would ever leave Prime Source >> as an employee is to move to the other side of the planet literally. Otherwise, >> I'm not sure if he's being uh >> No, I'm serious. I'm saying otherwise otherwise they would never left Prime unless they moved to the only reason why they would want to leave. >> Want to leave? I hear I hope I said that. Rewind. If you guys ever make it to Australia, if you want to do a podcast there on the other side of the world, I'll put you in touch. No, no, it's not going to happen. Yeah, we're going to pass. Hard pass on that. >> But, uh, my father >> was born in Australia. >> Oh, >> yeah. And don't ask me more than that because I don't know. So, let's start. We have a chat GPT segment called >> Chat GPT says what about you? >> Okay. >> Did you ever look yourself up on Chat GPT? >> No. My heart is racing. Let's see. Let's see what they've got to say. >> I'm sort of surprised. I peg you for the kind of person to actually check yourself up. >> What does that mean, buddy? >> What does that mean? I feel like, you know, uh, people that are, you know, with technology and are well aware of what's going on in the world and chat is a big thing. >> Oh, I see. So, you're pegging him as a technically. >> You think the casual person would have put their name in chat? >> I'm involved with people, but not technology. I'm a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to technology and to these things. >> Okay. >> All right. Michael, curious if you need it or not, but that's a separate question. We'll get to it in a second. So, um, this is the only man who can convince a teenager to put down their phone and feel good about it. Honestly, miraculous. [laughter] >> Okay. This is already stoking my ego. >> That's what we're here for. By Why do you think she sits here every week? >> Okay. [laughter] Dove walks into a room like someone who's personally responsible for half the Jewish world staying from. >> Oh gosh. because he basically is. >> I mean, they're really embellishing this. >> This is ridiculous. >> Unbelievable. [laughter] >> You You know what's funny? Secretly, he has a website that says all this, you know? >> Oh my god, Travis, you said that about me. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's like in his bio somewhere. It must be. >> Yeah. Um I mean, can you just tell us about that a little bit? What's happening? What's your life like? >> Currently, Chat GPT is very complicated, optimistic. >> What's your life like? What What are you doing? >> What am I doing? Um I run an organization called Hill of Rockland. >> Okay. and uh we deal with hundreds of beautiful Jewish uh students, alumni, young adults, and we try and give them a warm, positive, enjoyable, meaningful Jewish experience. That's what I'm doing most of the time. >> Okay. So, for those listening, what he said was [laughter] >> I don't know. I think I just sounded like chat GPT myself. So, >> I would say I say that to with all my Australian friends, but you've you've Americanized your voice already, your accent. It's uh it's not half bad. You still have it lingering there, though. It's very discernable. So, >> it's a bit of a bummer. I wish my Australian accent was stronger, but you can't really control accents. They just they do their own thing. >> Do you speak to anyone in this side of the world that's on a daily basis that's from? >> We have we have a whole bunch. We have a group called Aussies in Exile and uh we have gettogethers on Australia Day and when I hang out with my Australian friends and when I visit Australia then my accent comes back a lot stronger. That's uh how it tends to be. By the way, as you're speaking, it's getting stronger talking about it. >> There are certain Australians, I guess, there's different accents in different parts that's so strong. >> Sometimes it's nearly impossible to even decipher what they're saying. Yes. >> Like it's almost like a different language. Like their spin on the English words with their with their accent is so heavy. Yeah. >> It's it's like, you know, Scottish people also, right? Like Scotland, it's very very heavy accent. Irish people. Have you ever fought with a kangaroo? >> No, but sadly I ran over one. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. that that happens sort of like like deer over here. It's like similar. >> It's it's exactly like deer over here >> except with over there you smile. It's a kangaroo. It's the cutest thing. >> They're probably rampant. I imagine kangaroos, right? >> There's a lot There's a lot of kangaroo roadkill walabbees which are smaller version of kangaroos. But yeah. >> Yeah. >> I don't feel bad about killing a deer by the way. And a kangaroo I'd feel bad about to be honest with you. They're just they look cute. >> Well, when you start seeing thousands of them, you might not feel so bad run over. Ironically, we feel that way about deer. When Australians come here, like when my family comes to visit or Australians come to visit just >> there's no deer in Australia. >> No. So, >> deer is like a universal thing like all over the world. >> Well, definitely not in your backyard like we have in my but no, there's not. There's deer in the zoos. >> Definitely not a universal thing. >> Yeah. >> You tell me like in China there's no deer. >> Now you know why he uses chachu so much. >> That's strange. [laughter] You tell me like if you go to the zoo in China, they have deer like in their in their cages. Like you're Oh, look at that deer. Like >> there's no deer just walking around Australia. >> Okay. Okay. So, for those of us that don't know, can you tell me what is Hillel? What's NCSY? I mean it seriously. What is it? Just give me the overall picture if you don't. >> Well, I can't comment on NCSY. I have nothing to do with >> NCS. I understand. But I'm saying when it comes to programs, Kabad, NCSY, Hillel, these are the programs that are usually connected to campuses, colleges. >> Conventionally, um, you're right. But, uh, our Hillel is very, very uncommon. Um because while we're based at a college which I'm I'm the campus rabbi at Rockland Community College here for the last 18 years um it's not the biggest part of our work at all. Uh the biggest part of our work is is what we would call the Muny community. Um basically college age or even a little bit younger and definitely a little bit older as well who somehow fall into our sphere and uh enjoy and benefit from the different programs and the trips that we are involved with. Um, when I began here 18 years ago, actually moved from Australia. I was running a program for Kabad. It was sort of like outreach in the outback. That was before I came here. It was >> You guys have creative names by the way. >> Well, actually the technical name was Kabad of RAR, which stands for rural and regional Australia. And basically for a few years, we drove around in what you call an RV, what we call a Winnebago, and or caravan actually, sorry. and we visited Jewish people in the remote isolated parts of Australia and tried to bring them back to to Judaism. After I finished doing that for a few years, my wife, who's originally from Rockland and Crown Heights, said, "Okay, it's time to move home." And uh we did and took up the role at RCC. And that's when most of our work was with college students and most of our work was with kids from secular unaffiliated backgrounds. I'd say the the breakdown was about 8020. Um but now our work is about the other way around. It's about 80% kids who are from religious homes um who are on their own different journeys and having their their you know ups and downs and and struggles and challenges and achievements. Um that's the focus of our work now. So it's really mostly a inreach organization more than an outreach organization. >> You're saying that's why your specific um hill >> Yeah. is not zero comparable >> than most hills. But you take me a step back still. What is Hill? >> Hillow is a college organization uh where there's no direct affiliation. So the people that run Hill are mostly more um um from liberal uh backgrounds, more progressive like connected more to like the reform or conservative communities, the rabbis and the leadership and the clergy. But there's also modern Orthodox and religious, but they're never Kabad because Kabad has its own organization on campus which is also running Puran parties and Kaneka parties and you know Pes >> the same demographic. >> They're both competing for Jewish students. >> Okay, got it. And who, if you don't mind me asking, started which program first? Who came first to college campuses? Just curious. >> I I believe here in America Hill was around. >> Okay, so Hill's around. Kabad says, "Look, you know, we're in this business also, so we might as well put our flag down together with them and we'll do it in a little bit of a different flavor and we'll attract the same people and some people will come to us, some people come to them." The typical two shooles on an island when one person's there, right? One I don't do davin in, right? >> Some something like that. Although there are a lot of students that go to both and they go to different >> Now most college campuses have both in general. >> Most college campuses have both and also sometimes there's another organization called Olami. Okay. >> Which is also a fantastic organization. >> Sure. Very familiar with Oli. Yep. Um but uh but I'm I'm my own. >> What does OM do differently also similar style? >> I think it's different background >> but does other things as well. >> As far as I know is a campus organization. >> Okay. So Hill is a campus organization. Kabad is a major organization that has a campus >> campus division which is called >> and decided they want to play in the field also. >> I guess I'm not exactly sure the history. Okay. All me at my college. >> By the way, the good news is that there's multiple people that are concerned about Jews all over the world and they're supporting each other and that's amazing. So, thank you for that. Yes. And yours is different simply a because you're the Kabad person running. There's Is there a Kabad on your Rockland campus? >> No. No. I'm my own competition. Kabad will never send somebody out there because they have me there. And uh >> I think it's genius to be honest with you. I think every hill around the world should be run by Kabad to kill two birds with one stone. Doesn't that make sense? >> Yeah. I don't think anybody's going to really sign on to that, but theoretically, >> okay, got it. >> But in general, it's just not all it's not really so much about the campus fast. We have people rolling in from like every walk of life. Uh we literally just, you know, we have somebody now who just started becoming a regular at our Hill who just, you know, busted out of years of being in Guatemala where, you know, as part of under the LA Tahar cult. He has no connection to RCC. He's never been to RCC. is not connected to Kabad. He's not connected to Hil. He somehow wound up at one of our programs. Some friends brought him along and now he just came with us on an Israel trip. He's coming with me on another Israel trip. So, you know, he's he's he's become a regular. Someone else left Lakewood. Someone else left Payic. Someone else, you know, just had a friend that had a friend and they get connected. So, we don't really have any um guidelines for who we include part of our community. if you're Jewish and if you're in this area of the world and if you want to come to our programs and if you can benefit and if you fit in more or less then we're happy to have you. >> So you you're also identifying something interesting and it's fascinating by the way I love it. Um you're you're identifying something unique about your hill. You said it um you're right. That's the way you're putting it. >> Yeah. >> Um in a very good way is that um 80% of the Jewish people coming to your program specifically in Rockland County are coming from religious homes. >> Yep. >> Because that's unique. >> Yes. That's another >> which means most of the programs around the country that have hill or kabad the students that are taking advantage of it mostly are you know from different reform conservative not religious and so on this makes it more unique or there are some but this is one of the main ones >> there are some let's say on college campuses which have very very strong >> right of course support like Maryland has a university >> example Bingington >> right Bingington there's a lot of Orthodox Jews there as well that are taking >> colleges but that's a pretty unique uh uh so you have a lot of insight, by the way, in my opinion, which is why I'm sort of like fascinated about this about where these boys and girls are coming from and like the challenges that they may expose to you about their upbringing or about things that you may know about. Although I have to tell you, I love and I'm inspired by the fact that you're able to pull people in that know nothing. >> Um, but I'm more interested personally and uh, you know, you don't have to go into this now, right? >> Um, but I'm more interested personally on understanding what do you learn from it? What does someone like you are? You're a father. >> Yes. >> Thank God. >> Three beautiful daughters. >> Amazing. Amazing. And you have experience in this, right? You have knowledge in this. U we'll get into in a minute why you got into this. I'm curious. Um but you have an insight. So I'm curious, you know, if you had to look into that world, into that space and say what could we, the religious community, I'm Orthodox, right? I'm Shmer Shabas, kosher, right? But the point is that so we're following the program. We're part of this culture, right? So, but but in our program, in our culture, in our membership group, right, there's there's challenges and there's things that we can learn from. I think you have a very unique um opportunity and hopefully skill set to be able to identify what it is that we can uh learn from your experiences. And I'm curious what you think that would be. Is that a fair question to ask? >> Yeah, it's a fair question. Um I guess if if you're asking like what can the broader um established religious orthodox community do to support these these this uh community of >> No no no I'm asking me as a parent what can I do to learn uh to uh be a better parent uh what can I do to learn to be a stronger connected parent with not only uh myself and God but my family and what can I learn from the people that are coming to you and reexploring uh religion all over again even though they've experienced it in some capacity and some are negative I'm assuming that are coming to you >> many >> many yeah >> so that's what I'm asking you what can I learn from that >> right >> that's a great question I think that uh you know you mentioned about being a parent and I think that in general if we look at our you know our prayers and and we often use the example of God as being a parent and us as being his children and I think that uh we need to understand that that can't just be a concept that we say you know if we try and relate to whether it's our biological children or the children in our community or in our neighborhood or whatever it is as parents it will I found that I try to relate to you know my students or the people that come to Hill like that and when you relate as a parent and you're in a good place as a parent you're a lot less judgmental and you understand that you need to be flexible and you understand that that you don't have the same rules for all the kids and that everybody can be at different stages and that sometimes you might even go over your own rules. So for example, you know, in the Schwarz household, you might have bedtime is a certain time and phone is to be given in in at a certain time or whatever it is, but there'll be times when you realize that that's great and I've established that, but there are times that it's to the detriment of my kid for me to insist on these rules. And I think that that's what's going on in the in the from community that we have to look at these kids and realize that we want to support them and realize the damage and the harm potentially if we don't and we have to be flexible. The whole community has to be flexible the same way that Hashem God is flexible. So all of us, you know, grew up religious and we know that there's certain things, you know, we put on tilin every day. We keep shabas, we keep kosher. Um but if we come to understand that there's been different pain, different trauma, different life experiences that have brought a person to a certain place, then maybe in that moment as a parent, we can understand that that's not what they need to do right now or maybe there's something that they can do now that isn't the way that we taught them to do it. So I think that you know trying to bring in that uh parent mindset and that flexibility is something that we can all learn from this particular um community and and you know also if we are patient we can see that the results will probably be more along what we'd hoped all along like as I was talking to just before we came u on the air I guess to to Michael is that you know he once helped out with a a certain challenging situation that one of uh students was going through and uh give it a little bit of time. I guess it was a little over a year ago and uh now that student is doing fantastically well and the standards or the expectations or the hopes that I would have had for her at that stage are completely different to what I have for her now. So I guess you know really flexibility and uh just being understanding is something we can always add to our toolkit in in every relationship. >> I love it. Flexibility uh is a big one. You know, I hear uh and follow a lot from I have a couple of um I would say mentors and people that I some some people are mentors that don't even know it like an Avi Fishoff, you know, I follow a lot of what he says. Um and and I listen to it and I try to absorb as much as I feel is the right thing for me to absorb. and Sani Pearlman, Gdalia Fster, these are my fans when it comes to these types of topics of raising kids and being flexible. I'm hearing always a lot of unconditional love. Unconditional love. You have to have unconditional love. And I'm thinking as you're speaking, if only we were more flexible earlier on, it wouldn't be as difficult to give unconditional love later on. Does that make sense? >> Yeah, it makes sense. And you know so often and you talk about Avy Fishoff and and these types of approaches. So often people you know judge the parents and they look at how kids have have been compromised or even messed up or and I often say like what do you want from these parents? I mean so often uh they're very young themselves. They're in their early 30 mid late 30s early 40s whatever it is when they're making the biggest decisions that are going to affect their kids. None of us get formal training as parents. That's another thing which probably really should be happening in our education system that there's literally parenting classes well before you even start looking for a shik. Um you know obviously it has to be done with a intelligent curriculum. It has to make sense. Um but I I feel and I see also that the highest percentage of kids that really struggle in the religious community that enter are the oldest like the oldest in the family first child second child um because there's some degree of experimentation and you know learning on the on the job. So my heart goes out to a lot of parents who feel guilty for what's going on with their kids. Uh thank God we do have you know we have Keshani now which is an incredible organization which a lot of um religious community is getting support as parents. >> I was just thinking of Vidalia Miller and I was thinking that you know Kesha pushes that don't feel guilty >> you know and it's such a great message also uh in terms of understanding and so much to learn from them. They're actually having a shabatone coming up and they're very respectful of people's confidence. Yes, I have friends of >> confidentiality, >> right? I even have friends coming in from Australia just to go to the Kashi. There's also a rabbi and his wife that both together >> um are very involved with Keshani. They're like the leaders, the coach, they create coaches. The reason why it's worthwhile mentioning is because these are people that people can reach out to. Like it's nice to know, okay, the people we mentioned before are people you have to reach, but to reach an organization that has a system and that, you know, it's really nice to have support groups and you can find them and so on and so forth is really good. How did you get into all this? Who are you? Where did you grow up? >> Right. >> Did you grow up Orthodox? >> Uh yes, I grew up Orthodox. Uh my parents are both uh Bachov. So they came to religion later. They >> from where? >> From so they both born in Australia. Um my grandparents um were survivors and uh we ended up in Australia. It's actually it's actually a story that I I like. I I get a kick out of telling. So I'll just tell you. A long time ago, there was a a young man and he was living in Warsaw right before the ghetto was established and he was running through the streets of Warsaw on a cold, dark, rainy night, I imagine, and he saw an old Jewish man, kidic man, being beaten up and attacked by a Nazi and um he jumped on this Nazi and he took the bane of his rifle and he stabbed him and he left this Nazi lying down a pool of blood and then he carried the old kidic man back to his home and somewhere, you know, in the ghetto. and delivered it safely to his family. Tragically uh somebody saw what happened and went and told u you know the Germans about it and then there were wanted signs up for this with his likeness and they were looking for him everywhere. So this young man whose name was Shia had to go into hiding. So he went in into hiding and then there was this other um person in the ghetto her name was Ruth and she was very beautiful. She was blonde and blue eyes and she was working in like the soup kitchen or the food distribution center. And this one SS guard took a particular liking and kept coming back every few days seeking her until one time her friends told her when she came to work so to speak. He's looking for you. He's drunk. You really better run because he's obviously got the worst intentions. So she went into hiding too. And now they were both hiding respect, you know, each one of them. And uh in the middle of the night there's a knock on the door of this old kidic man and it's this young Shia and he's 19 years old and he says um go call the father of the house. I want to speak to him. So they go they wake him up. You know he's nervous. 3:00 and that time you get a knock on the door. You think the worst? Who knows? And who's at the door? It's man. He says listen I saved your life. Now I need a favor. What is it? I want to marry your daughter. And uh that was Ruth and they brought her and 45 minutes later they were married. They gathered up a minion and they uh escaped and um there was a young boy who begged them to to take him along. And they said, "We can't take you because we don't even know if in 5 minutes from now we'll be alive." And they ended up um escaping into Russia where they were suspected of being spies. And they were stuck in a little resort town called Siberia for the next 5 years. But they survived and they ended up getting on a ship. When they got off the ship, they saw kangaroos as we spoke about previously. And uh that's my grandparents. That's how we ended up in Australia. That's my mother's side. My father's side. They're actually from Hungary, Moonach. And uh and they made a beautiful life over there. And my parents were raised sort of traditional, but then um they were through the messengers of the Lavaba. um they both came in their late teens to become fully observant and then they became big followers of Kabad and and set themselves a goal to also help out and they were involved in a lot of their own outreach work. In fact, my my parents were running uh sort of like a a roving kabad program in Singapore before there was a permanent presence there. And uh they instilled in me um through everything that I saw a a love for this type of work and bringing you know Jewish people closer to their roots. And especially I grew up also with like a ridiculous um Holocaust survivor generational mentality hanging over us like everybody in my class their parent grandparents were were survivors. So, we were always thinking between the, you know, let's fight back against the Holocaust and let's follow in the Kabad thing. It was always going to be that we get into this type of work. My dream was to do it in Australia, even though, like you said, I've lost my accent. Um, I'm very Australian and growing up, America was like irrelevant. It was like, >> what makes you Australian? Sorry. >> I mean, I I I love Australia. >> No, but what makes a person Australian? What makes you an Aussie? Oh, just uh a certain um easygoingness in a way, which is not how I would always be described as being easygoing, but uh a laid-back uh enjoyment and and and just really the things that are in Australia, the people uh which I always grew up loving. Unfortunately, since October 7th, it's been very very rough and there's been a big change of of the way things are over there. Uh but it's not so much that I'm so Australian, it's that we didn't have any regard for America growing up. America was like something I don't know you saw like in in in the movies and I never ever thought I would live here ever. Um but uh >> what movies? How did you see America as? I'm curious as a little Australian kid. >> Eddie Murphy. I don't know. Come >> this is what you looked at America as coming to America. [laughter] >> America for us was Michael Jordan. You know it was it wasn't like uh >> it wasn't relevant. We we weren't missing anything. But uh so my my dream was actually to run this permanent program um of reaching out to Jewish people in remote areas. uh ended up uh being here very happy that I'm here. I I I love um I actually really like my a lot. I think it's a great place. I think it's a great community surrounded by beautiful nature. Every time I go into Brooklyn, I'm happy I live in my um and I love what what I'm doing. What my wife and I are privileged and lucky enough to run a home which uh is very open and and you know, constantly have people coming through that we just get to brighten up their days and brighten up their lives. So, >> so you take your work home with you? >> Yeah, my work is uh is 24/7 really, >> but I also get to make my own schedule. So, you know, if I want sometimes if I get invited, I can go out with your previous guests, you know, the legendary golfers, Mayor and Ahan, and you know, now >> you're a golfer. >> Well, I wouldn't say I'm a golfer, I play golf. There's a difference. Okay. >> But, uh, you know, I I make my own schedule, uh, which is which is nice, but you know, I try to be on campus as as often as possible. And I also have to balance my schedule of the work that I do with all the fundraising that I need to do, which is a big challenge uh to to cover our budget. And um so I split my time between the actual events and and trips and finding the funds to cover it all. >> What What's your budget like? >> It's a little over a million dollars a year. And uh and I'm the only one really responsible for for bringing it. It's not like we have a separate fundraiser or anything like that. Um and and it's uh it's okay. Sometimes fundraising is really not that bad. There's certain people I get together with them. You know, once a year we sit down, we have a great chat and you know, they write a check and and and you move on. Sometimes we have events. We have actually an eight town cats concert coming up now and sometimes we'll have like a some type of a gala or or you know, we have a raffle. We have different things. But overall, it's uh it's it's not the most pleasant thing. I think one of the big challenges is that it can really impact your how you're viewed by other people can impact your friendships. Uh you know there's people you know if they're walking past me in in Wesley Kosha and you know they haven't returned my call they'll just quickly walk the other way or in SH they'll all of a sudden be like in the middle of uh you know de Zimra somehow. Um and that's that that's a bit of a drag. I I really just wish that I had, you know, somebody who just wrote a check and covered the whole thing. And then I could devote all my time to, you know, just meeting up with students. Like any day I could just meet up with a kid, have a coffee. It would mean the world to them. And I do when I can, or just listen to what's going on with them or talk with parents, um, you know, behind the scenes about what's going on with their kids and how we can help them. But the reality is that, uh, I got to do both. You ever have any uh your former students that somehow found success one day and they come back to you >> and they say, "Hey, I was a part of the system. I know what you do. >> Here's a check. I want to support it. You ever have such a thing happen?" >> Yes. Yes. That's a good question. And and it's an an essential really. um not necessarily like very big checks, but we have a lot of our alumni or and when I say alumni, they might still be involved coming to trips coming on programs um who give us something monthly like we charge their credit card monthly um or when we have a campaign um they'll actually take on a team you know that's how it works these days with these campaigns and they'll make their own page and that's actually really important because if they go and make their own page then they reach out to their friends and family and say hey this is a big part of my life or was a big part of my life and uh those are funds which otherwise we wouldn't really have any access to. So it's it's through them it's beautiful and especially you know especially when it's kids who don't have a lot or don't have a big income but we have I have students that we are like all of them is because you know they feel so grateful especially >> anybody ever come and give you like a an amount that you were surprised by and you were like wow that's >> you know what yes it just they weren't very big amounts but I was surprised that they found a way to give it within you know what they're earning >> right >> by the way I wonder I'm curious the Hillon Harvard do they have like a $5 million budget because the alumni keeps coming back and giving them more money. >> You know, >> chances are now think about it. Chances are the Harvard students are going to be making more money than the Rockland students. >> Well, in general, the hills all have a >> no offense. It's just >> How many hillows are there? >> Well, many many hundreds. >> Hundreds. Hundreds. Every college campus has a hill. >> Not every, but most any [clears throat] every big one in America. And there's hills also all around the world. >> The Kabad and now in >> crazy. So the thing about the hills you're asking is that everybody has a different system. Many hill uh rabbis in fact most have no responsibility for fundraising. Um all the kabad do but the hills are very often supported by the federation or some other like you know major government. >> Um well like I said we are in many ways a kabad. We operate as a hillow. when when when I came here and took over the Hill had been already established at at RCC and that was the what was in place. But um >> do you get any resources from the corporation from Hill from like >> Yeah. Yeah. Every now and then if there's like a certain um event like for example when we when there was the 300,000 people went to Washington for the very big protest you know after October 7th. So they funded they funded the buses and they funded the everything that was needed for that. So here and there and then they have conferences but I also go to the kabad conferences like this weekend is actually the big uh convention the kin I'll be spending >> when is it >> it's this weekend it's actually started today actually so uh >> oh well by the time this comes out it's going to already have been done because it's going to be probably last weekend >> but uh >> oh okay so I've been to it amazing amazing event >> yes yes it is incredible you have been to the banquet no >> we should go sometime if whoever has never gone to this event, >> the event. It's called >> the Schlim banquet. >> The Schlim. >> I've seen videos of it. I've seen clips. It's fascinating. It's >> Yeah, it's very special. >> Lots of people in one room all look the same. Everybody's dressed. >> Yeah, I was about to say I don't beards. >> I was literally about to say I don't think you'll appreciate it. That's what you're going to see. See black hats with beards. Get me out of here. How's the food? Great. >> I'll be very honest with you guys. I don't appreciate a whole lot of this and it's I know a lot of other people do and it's an amazing thing. I happen to appreciate Dove. I happen to appreciate you and what you specifically do. Now, I just want to go back to where I met Dove and under what context I met you >> at the time. >> Uh I was introduced to Dove uh through mutual friends that we have. And in the setting of he's a rabbi, but he's a cool guy also. He has an organization that he helps, you know, uh teenagers at risk. And I didn't know a whole lot about it, but there's lots of people like that, you know. So, what makes him so unique? what makes him so cool, what makes him a better rabbi than than anybody else. But as I got to know him more, I realized that there was a lot of passion in what he does and that, you know, it's very genuine for him and very authentic. But I wasn't a fan in the beginning. I happen not to be a fan in general of what do you see kids that, you know, are like 25, 28, they're already pretty much set in their ways. And I don't want to say it's a waste of time to, you know, try to bring them back to the roots, but somebody who's like very far off, like you can tell like they're almost spiteful, >> like you have that open door for, like you said, all walks of life, but for for anyone, and you're spending a lot of time, a lot of money, other people's money, and a lot of resources, uh, to pump into an individual that there's a very high probability that nothing's really going to change. M >> and I'm sure you have a nice percentage where it doesn't exactly, you know, pan out and yet you're, you know, I would give up after a certain amount of time and I would like think of it as a waste of time, but but you don't do that. And I questioned you in the beginning. >> Um I remember I was like almost like not not a fan to the point that I think that you're running backwards like you're you're go you're climbing uphill >> and what are you doing? Are you doing it for the enjoyment of it because you just like want to have fun and and you're partying with these people? I'll be honest, that's that's kind of what I was what I was thinking. And >> and when you came to that PM party, you were like, "This is a real party." >> Exactly. That was the first time >> when I this is years ago, this probably four or five years ago when I came to one of your perm parties at your house >> and uh I just saw something else. What I saw was like a community of people that were looking for acceptance. Like it wasn't so much about shoving down religion down their throat. Like these people need something more than just that. And that's when it opened my eyes that, you know, this is not just an important thing. Uh there's there's something here that there's good work that's that's being done. And then I started coming around a little bit more and I started getting a real sense of what the mission here is and what you guys are doing. And I I became a fan. And I think, you know, I donated a little bit of money, you know, here and there just because, you know, you got to put your money where where your mouth is. Uh >> well, we know you didn't give him 10% otherwise we wouldn't have to do fundraising. >> No. No. Of course not. No. you know, I don't think I made a dent in his million dollar budget that he has, but God willing, one day. Um, but I I I really developed into a fan, you know, from someone that was someone of a hater. Um, I I total 360. I became a fan of >> maybe a skeptic. Hate is a strong word. Maybe you're >> hater, not hate. Hater is there's a tonown version of hate. It's not like, you know, >> uh, but even in in other organizations that are out there that do something similar to you, I don't always connect to it, you know, so much. Right. >> I feel like there's, you know, >> I don't want to say more important things to do, but things where you can get more better outcomes quicker, >> right? >> Um, and you know, you're invested in this. You do this, like Michael said, you bring your work home with you. Yeah. >> You know, his house, Michael, is open non-stop and there's always people flowing through, coming in and out. Every Shabas, he has meals with, you know, 40, 50 people. >> Um, and he's he's always just going to bat for for these people in in a lot of different ways. And it's really nice. It's nice to know that you have people like you that have dedicated and devoted your life to this, right? >> Like this is all that you're doing every single day. You know, you've sacrificed, I imagine, you know, having your own business, having your own career, and chasing after, you know, the big dream of having a big job and making a lot of money. You know, you're you're doing something that's the opposite of a materialistic outlook. Uh you're really tending to people's needs and you know, you're caring for people and our people. You know, you're doing this for our brothers and our sisters. So, >> um, this is really how I got to meet Dove and got to know him over the years. >> And I thought that it was important to share that. I think the viewers need need to hear that >> because we need more people like like like Dove and the work that he's doing. And on this podcast, I think we've gotten to meet over the years, over the months. Hasn't been that many years yet, [laughter] but God willing feels like years. Feel so many people. >> We just passed 70, bro. >> So many people that sat in that chair. But there's a lot of people out there that are doing amazing things. Wonderful. Wonderful. And he's just on that list. He's one of those people. >> Yeah. >> So, uh, just wanted to share my thoughts. >> Yeah. >> On on what you're doing. >> I appreciate that, Ushia. And definitely we've had a personal connection for for years. Those good times on the pickle ball court >> where you thrashed me. But, um, I appreciate that. And obviously, you know, I know each other a lot more recently. But, you know, I think it's really important to clarify that there is no um real focus or hope in my mind as I and my wife as we interact with these um people that they become quote unquote from again, >> right? >> It's not it's we want what's best for them, their mental health, their emotional health, their physical health. Um that they should just be, you know, happy and hopefully productive. Yeah. >> And also just to feel secure and safe. A lot of the kids that we deal with are estranged from their families or compromised uh tough, you know, relationships with their families and we're very honored that we can step in and and and feel that for them. But that's why so much of our work is not the standard. You know, like we do not have as many Shirim as a lot of other people who are running some type of an organization like this because honestly a lot of learning and daving is quite triggering uh for these kids and there's no reason for us to be the ones that have to, you know, bring that up for them. If they want it, there's plenty of shy and there's plenty, you know, that's not to say that we don't have we have we have a program called Charlton chills every Thursday night and we start off with learning and then it turns into a kumitz and then whatever. So we're not like avoiding the ten and the real Yiddish guides, but we're also not looking to make it uh something which is you know our our main goal and and to that end a lot of the um work that we do is just looking after kids physical needs even we have a whole like sort of division which is what we call benevolent giving where kids will come to me and like rabbi I cannot pay my rent my car just broke down and I drive lift and without it like can you help me like whether it's a loan or they're like I know that you know some people are well off maybe you could approach you know uh one and that's that's actually how my first time that I solicited uh from was that there was a single mother who you know just had gone through hell and a very very ugly uh divorce a very difficult situation and she needed to to get away to like a program for like one of the whatever it was and he uh covered it and that was the biggest relief for her. Does that mean she went to any there? Probably not. but she had babysitter to watch her kid. So that that's really what we're >> that's really our priority over here and uh >> we're very lucky to be doing it. >> I think that's what clicked for me that was different about your organization is that there's no expectations. There is no outcome that we're looking for. Uh we're just looking to give them relief. uh make them feel loved, give them a warm place and uh be a part of something and and be accepting because a lot of these kids I imagine weren't accepted. Yeah. By their parents, by their siblings, um by their community, and they feel outcasted and you're being inclusive. Uh you're showing them that uh we're not going to demand anything of you. We're not no expectations. This is not conditional. Yeah. Um, and I think that's really what sets what you're doing apart from a lot of these other organizations where they have an agenda >> at the end of the day and and the people feel it. The people that come there, they they can feel it and they can get scared off. And I think that's what's a really nice thing. And maybe Michael, that's what's been missing in our communities for a long time is that, you know, the flexibility that you guys started talking about in the beginning, that's now becoming a little bit more pragmatic where we're starting to say, you know what, we we have to incorporate um more understanding. you know, we have to be and that will ultimately give a better outcome. A better outcome. >> Yeah. >> Uh but for someone like you, dove, you're doing this now for a long time, so you've seen a lot. I'm sure you've had a lot of stories >> over the years that you can share with us. >> Sure. >> Um a lot of personal, you know, stories from from people. >> Um but what would you say is something that we can do for prevention over treatment? And it's very similar to a question Michael asked you earlier is like what is that common theme >> that you're seeing from a lot of these people that are coming through your your program where it's like you know it's just a mistake after mistake. It's like I see it all the time and it's like one thing that >> you could put your finger around that you could pinpoint >> and say if we can just bring more awareness that this is something that leads to something detrimental and I see it over and over and like you know with if history doesn't teach you anything you're bound to repeat it like what's that? Is there something that really stands out >> that really can help people try to prevent from something like this happening that I want to be more specific >> because you have a real data to give us like you're seeing that you know a lot of kids tell you you know I had my parents forced me to go to shul >> or you know I hated school my rebies were mean to me I don't know what can I add to it a second you said flexible which is the answer you gave I think what she's trying to do he's trying to dig a little deeper yeah and he's saying okay flexible is nice okay great thank you for the you know for the general idea let's get a little deeper are there common denominator he's asking are there mostly are there mistakes that are happening >> the real mistake that people make >> you can say oh if parents would do exactly this formula I think there would be better outcomes that's what he's asking >> I don't think like uh abuse physical abuse is probably the common theme today I think maybe 30 years ago that was something that was really affecting the communities I think most parents today like you know in our generation maybe even like you know a little above us there were we're not hitting kids anymore we don't do that a lot it's just the opposite opposite. It's quite the opposite. >> Well, it's quite the opposite. >> Meaning we're we're being too careful some cuddling. Exactly. Right. It could be almost extreme. Not only we're not hitting, we're actually coddling. We're going above and beyond. Yes. So, I don't think that's what it is. Right. So, what are we seeing that like today we still are are doing something and and you're seeing it in different kids >> or maybe there isn't. Maybe you don't know. Maybe there isn't, you know, >> there isn't that thing. >> It's towards the end of what you were saying that, you know, I definitely don't have any magical answer. Um I think that we're doing our best. A lot of people everybody most people mean well. I mean there are cases which are really really horrific where there's you know abuse of all different types and you know and like you said we do have to add the flexibility but ultimately I think it's just a mindset that we have to have to try and push ourselves as parents as communities as schools to do better. Um, but not not in a like a specific way that I can tell you that it's showing up again and again. Because if I went and gave you the reasons of why I see so many different kids have had a hard time, there will be um a common theme of that when they were young, somebody ended up just making them feel not good about themselves. somebody ended up making them feel. >> Do you get into these conversations with the with like do you just provide like the environment for them to come and you know to feel welcomed and all like do you actually get into like the stories and their histories with these kids and try to unravel like you know what led them to go down this path. >> Absolutely. I mean they're once they feel safe and often even if they don't feel safe but literally sometimes the first time I meet a kid because their friend said you know you know come by you know Rabbi and Chevy are good people they'll just tell me their their stuff right away I was abused here I was kicked out there you know this happened that happened um so yeah I mean we're in a setup where people are comfortable sharing with us and we do get I mean we're very >> with with the people that we have regularly because you know some people come by all the time some people come by occasionally this to that but some people we know like you know literally it it it you know >> I know a lot of your students are going to be listening to this so I just want to be very clear we're not looking for >> you know stories we're looking for antecdotes that can help to learn for the future and you you started saying something very important I believe and I want to go back to that for a second >> and that is the self-confidence and the u I forgot how you put it a minute ago you said a certain thing in terms of putting down or they're not feeling what was the words that you used before I don't remember what it was you said >> I'm not Exactly. But I would just say we got we got to build kids up, right? And if you know, we the thing is like this, you know, you don't need um a license to become a parent. You need a license to drive a car and to do a million other things, but you know, we just become parents like that. I I really do believe I know you're looking for like a certain >> concept and I wish I could be more specific, but there just needs to be and it's coming in. It is coming in. There needs to be a change of culture where we we already start raising our kids that you're going to be parents and also that you're going to be spouses because like so much of what I'm like I grew up 20 kids in my class one kid got divorced in 12th grade one one kid's parents got divorced right >> but you know now like such a high percentage of the kids that I'm dealing with they're dealing you know their parents are divorced or sometimes their parents are not divorced but they wish they were that type of thing. So if we can as a community like tap in, you know, because we're very very very maked on all types of, you know, we're doing our, you know, our dafomi and we're doing our doing all types of campaigns. But I really think we have to understand that to stop seeing the pain that we see going on out there, we have to protect kids because if a kid is is is negatively affected when they're young, it's going to have a big impact. It's like a >> It always does. >> Yeah. It's like when a tree is growing, you know, and it's young and it's a sapling or it gets trampled on, it's it's going to it's going to compromise it. It might still end up doing great. So, I just think it's an overall awareness that we all have to, you know, parents, uh, you know, community leaders, principles, everybody to try and just be more gentle. >> Be more gentle in the wayual I imagine are actually pretty healthy in general. It's not necessarily just they're maybe not into religion. they have like that's their their area that they're distancing themselves from. Um but they have good lives overall you know they're uh anybody married like as a couple that comes to you like what type of you know range of people do you have that that are coming >> and some of them are also religious and happy it's not like I'm only dealing with people that are >> why would they to this if they're religious and happy like what are they getting >> so if you're 23 years old or 25 or 19 and you live in my there isn't really a lot going on like uh events to go to you don't want to go to your you know your parents shul get together. Maybe, you know, your friends, you know, all moved to to Brooklyn or or you just there wasn't that much else going on like like you said, like Purim um that party that you came to was the afterparty. We'd already had a party that night. That was the after party. Our big party on Purim is 5 600 people, right? Because otherwise, if you're 22, where are you going to a party? If you have av and you're still part of everything and you still hang out with your shiver boys or your seminary friends is one thing but basically a lot of those people come and yes after they get married we have we in fact we just had an event not long ago which was a couples only night it was about 40 people so it's about 20 couples some of them met at Hill some of them you know were at Hill and they got married and they came by but a lot of those people don't have a community that they're so much part of so you know we we're really involved from a young age uh and all the way until you know people are still coming So we had a big shabaton and people brought their babies, you know, and and for me again, there's nothing that really knocks you off our um radar of you being welcome. If you can enjoy it, if it's going to enhance your life, that's great. And you know what's great? When a lot of those people come by, they are an inspiration on a peer level, >> right? >> To to others. Sure. >> Because they're like, "Hey, you know, yeah, I I struggled when I was 17, 18, but now I'm married and now, you know, I have a kid." How often do you have these uh like where's your home base? Like do you have like an official like hill room where people can come at any time or is it only shabasim and like >> sporadic events like h how does that work? >> That's a good question. So at the college we have a lounge where hill kids can hang out and have coffee and bagels and just hang out in between classes and then we have events on campus. But that's really again that's right now only about 15% of everybody that comes to an event is a current enrolled Rock Community College student. So, but I have an office there and I have a lounge. >> Do you go there every day? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, that's your primary gig. You're going to RCC and you're what the official rabbi? >> I'm I'm the campus rabbi. I'm director of the of of the Hill and the spiritual life adviser. I teach there sometimes also, but but that's not what takes up most of my time. It's it's it's a base that I use in terms of events. So, what happened was that we had a small smallish home, a couple of bedrooms and a small dining room. And uh in 201 18, we realized like this is just not cutting it, you know. Um I had a neighbor who had a very big home and he would invite us every now and then and there we could bring like 40 50 people, you know, and that was great. But then other Shabbas we could only fit like 15 people. And I remember thinking like if I invite this girl, she's want to bring her friend. If I invite this guy, he's going to bring his cousin. And like we just couldn't have that much. We just couldn't be selective. >> Yeah. I had to be selective, which wasn't nice cuz there's always a thing like, oh yeah, everybody always welcome at the show. >> That's the antithesis of what you stand for. The more the marrier, >> right? So that that was really bothering me and was plaguing me in the back of my mind. But I guess I didn't really have the scope to and actually what happened is that um tragically uh one of our um students um overdosed and actually uh at the Leva of this student uh the mother was very came over to me and she was like thank you for everything you know you've done and you're doing and everything and you need to do more and I was like wow you know and actually uh that night I went and spoke to a friend of mine who's got a lot of capacity and I said to him I think I need to build a big big house and I think I need to be able to have much bigger Shabas meals and I need to be able to have big events and he said I'll help you do it and then I sort of went on a campaign and got other people involved and just before co came in we finished building and you've been to my home it's it's it's big and we can and we can have we can have we can fit uh I mean I've had small weddings three different weddings in the house of students um and then our regular gettogethers throughout the night on some of our get togethers we can have 150 200 250 Kanuka party will be like a few hundred people like BMA few people >> and and that's and so what we did is we identified the real work is not on campus first of all on campus you can't it's a very sterile environment and you can't even like serve alcohol not that that's like a focus but you're inviting people a lot of most of our community is 21 plus so you know you need to be able to have a place when also where people can just sit on a couch and hang out and often our events which are called for let's say 8:00 at night you know I'll go myself to sleep at like 12:00 and there's still like 50 people there >> and uh there's even been times where I've woken up the next day and people are still sitting and you know having meaningfuls. >> How do you get the word out? Like how do people find out about this and you know they can join us? Like do you have like some networking or is it word of mouth like a friend brings their friend and that's how it grows like? >> Yeah, it's a lot of friends being friends and different families you know like we have people with like four or five of the siblings have all been through and have been connected to Hill. Um but the word gets out and we you know we have a very active Instagram page and uh and the word gets out and what happens is that people will come who don't necessarily think that this has anything to do with them and they'll often message him like hi my name is I'll get rand hi my name is Kani hi my name is Mendle um is it okay if I come I have a friend that comes how much does it cost this that like sort of tentative but years later this person is like part of the community part of the the furniture you know and just like messaging me hey I'm can I come night and you know so >> people really do get get slept in from all types of you know interesting angles and all types of interesting communities and I think you know we have like a lot of people come out of Monroe we have people come out of New Square we have people come out of you know visionets and every type of >> you have a wide range of people all sides of the spectrum I've seen it all it's it's wild it's pretty crazy but >> let me just tell you one thing about the other side of the spectrum just because you know >> we also have one of my favorite students who couldn't be further from the spectrum. So, he is actually born in Algeria and he's Muslim and uh his mother's Jewish. However, she ended up ending up in in Algeria. So, he's Jewish. He's not Well, he he's he's Jewishly and he identifies as Jewish and identifies as Muslim and he's one of my favorite people and I love him dearly. His middle name is >> he has Muslim lineage but he is Jewish whether he likes the Muslims would consider him consider him Jewish. >> We consider him Jewish. The Muslims consider him Muslim. His middle name is Muhammad on Rashashana. No, sorry. On a few years ago, he took on the name Natan Shalom. >> I took him to Israel, which was pretty crazy because we went on Birthright and they like stopped him at every single possible checkpoint. Um, so he's coming from like the furthest furthest. >> Was he insulted? >> No, no, no. He He's gotten used to it. He's a great guy. So I'm saying a lot of our work is with the from community but then sometimes we'll have also kids like you know we had this kid he came by what's called new student orientation at the college and he stopped by just sort of being polite and somebody said to him one of my students was sitting next to me oh are you Jewish you know do you want to check it out I was like no I'm not really Jewish I'm only half Jewish and you know straight away when you hear that you know your kabad or your from antenna goes up which which half exactly and I said to him which I says on my mother's side, but you know, I don't really identify. I don't really practice. I said, "Well, let me just tell you something. You're as Jewish as me, as Adam Sandler, as you know, Steven Spielberg, you're one of us." There you go. You're one of us. You know, he's like, "Oh, I don't really know." Anyway, I said, "Look, there's no commitment over here. We're not going to do anything, but if you want, this is where our lounge is. Come by." And he ended up being in a lab with uh a Jewish student, and you know, she brought him by and he ended up coming by and whatever, getting getting involved. And then it was time for him to come to his first Shabbas meal. So I said, you know, this is I want to invite you for Shabbat lunch. Come to my home for Shabbat lunch. This is the time to be there at 1 PM. I said, "Okay, I'll come." He said, "What's going to be there?" I said, "There's going to be other people going to be like 20 people. It's going to be really nice." He's like, "Okay, I'm going to be there. What's the address?" "Fine." Anyway, it's Shabas Friday and uh doorbell rings. It's 1:00 p.m. I'm like, "Who's here?" You know, my kids are out, whatever. I go to the door and here's this guy standing there like, "Hi, what are you doing?" He's like, "What do you mean? Where's everybody?" I said, "I told you like 100 p.m. Shabbat lunch." He's like, "Yeah, but today's Friday, isn't that Shabbat?" So, you know, he thought it was supposed to come on Friday. He said, "The middle of the day." That was the first time he put on fillin in his life. You know, we put fillin on him right there and he ended up, you know, coming after that. He came to his first sukas shashana and everything. He's married now. I think he lives in Elizabeth. He has three kids. He's a mag. What a beautiful story. >> Yeah, >> there you go. What a success story. >> So, so we do have all different types. It's just that we focus more now and that's who ends up coming. We don't focus. Whoever comes, we welcome them, but that's what we're getting a lot. >> You know what, Dove? You get a lot of credit for that. >> You really do. You know, that's what I said before. You're doing really good work. Thank you. >> Um, it's for others. you're not benefiting personally and you get fulfillment >> by making something like this happen which was a great segue Michael into the story that I wanted to tell you before. See, I didn't forget. >> Yeah, he thought I was I'm very impressed. Yeah, I'm very impressed. >> I'm here. So, we at Prime Source, we uh deal with a lot of different uh all kinds of vendors, all kinds of suppliers. One of our suppliers has an account rep that manages our book of business where he's a great guy. You know, we became very close to him and we got close personally as well. You know, he's a great personality and we became friends and we only discovered then that he was Jewish. You know, we never actually, you know, bring it up with people, you know, what uh what race or ethnic ethnicity or religion they are, but uh he told us, you know, in passing that he was Jewish and I caught it. And um I started elaborating and exploring it with him and he knew very little almost nothing about Judaism like he knew us and he knew about you know Jewish people he comes across you know in the workforce. Um so I asked him like did you have any type of history with like you know Hebrew school or like have you ever like what is your knowledge about Judaism and it was pretty much nothing. And he made a comment you know I've never had a bar mitzvah. I know that Jewish people get bar mitzvah and it sounds exciting like I would have probably enjoyed one. And I was with one of our other reps at the moment, Karen, and she jumped on the opportunity and she said, "Uh, Austin, could we make you a bar mitzvah?" >> And he looks like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "It's never too late to have one. Just because you're not 13 anymore doesn't mean we can't." And he said, "Okay, I'm down. And now we need to start planning and we need to, you know, make make a a mock bar mitzvah, a mock event. But the first thing is first, we got to get him out to filling. We got to get him on filling. Who do I call? I don't call the Ghostbusters. I call Dove Oliver. He's he's the only rabbi I know that like lives for this stuff. And, you know, I felt like it was a perfect match, like he was, you know, exactly the right person for this. And Dove said right away, I'm in. I'm I'll be there. You tell me when. You tell me where. So I had him come to our office, Austin, and I had Dove come at the same time. And uh Dove brought us filling with him and he put it on and while he was doing it, he was explaining to him, you know, why we do fillain and a little bit of the history of of Jewish people, which I was actually listening to and I appreciated it. I actually think it's very nice that, you know, we don't sometimes go back to the basics and, you know, we take a lot of these things for granted and we ourselves don't know why we do and what we do. But it was really uh um it was really inspiring to watch the way the way you were doing that and he can tell that it meant something to him like he recognized something you know >> that's why today he's a ma chair. >> Yeah. [laughter] Not this guy. He's certainly not a ma today. >> Uh yeah. And then afterward we took out for dinner and we invited people. >> I remember I came to that dinner. You came to dinner? It was beautiful. >> We had balloons and we made a we made up our mitzvah, you know. and and it's my understanding that he's kept in touch with you. Yeah. >> And that he's come to you for a Shabas meal. We >> we've been in touch. He's considering coming for one of my one of my Israel trips. But uh we have a nice connection. And not that this is obviously the goal, but you know, he also donated which which which means a lot, you know, because that means that a person actually cares because people are very particular about what they do with their money. >> No, no. Somebody gives you money, they're very serious about it. That's when you know it's real. >> That's a nice thing. It's a really nice. >> Yeah. Dove, what is your um highest uh form of praise from all of this? Like what is your biggest reward? Like what do you what is and don't give me something cheesy like you know oh when I see somebody you know that turns their life around and I feel give me something like >> what do you get out of this you know even maybe on a materialistic side I'm okay with that too but like what's the what's the real benefit here that you could say you know >> right >> this is a nice little perk that I get out of this whole thing. That's interesting you ask because you know you said before that you know like I gave up so much like you know I could have you know pursued a career in business and I could have been materialistic etc. First of all I'm I'm lucky that Hill of Rockland my employers pay me you know decent wage. I don't I'm not I'm not struggling or suffering but you know I have to work hard to raise the money for my board to pay me so that's a drag but you know so I'm very lucky for that. Um but honestly when you say like this was always my dream. I'm living my dream. In other words, I didn't particularly want to go into business and be very wealthy and have like, you know, beautiful cars or watches that we were raised um both the combination of like I said to you coming out of the you know destruction of the Holocaust which was the biggest impact on my life. Um this was like we just want to rebuild. That's that's we were raised in a community. Melbourne, Australia was like 500 Jews before the war and 50,000 after the war. So our entire upbringing was all about rebuilding. And then you add the kabad component which was like the the teaching that uh we are going to respond the ways that the Nazis hunted Jews with hatred. We're going to hunt Jews with love. And that was like my first work that I did for a few years in Australia running you know driving around the country. So looking for you know you didn't had who'd run away and trying to you know help them to be connected. So I'm not I I I'm I'm like in many ways living my best life. I I you know sometimes people feel like oh you know I had to make a lot a lot of sacrifices. >> I didn't have to make that much sacrifices and it is You wake up in the morning and you're excited to go to work. Yeah. >> Right. And uh this is maybe perhaps not maybe this is definitely >> why are you being very effective and why you're good at it because this like I said I use the word genuine and authentic. And I I I am 100% standing behind it. For anybody that's watching or listening um this is the real deal. Like this is what you're doing is is fantastic. every community should have somebody like this that's looking out for the people that are closest to us and uh I'm I'm a big fan and I think it's amazing. >> Yeah, I think just you touched on work like to me it is work. I mean you know sometimes it's it's very hard work. The fundraising is a drag and sometimes just like the hours and not having so much private space but you know that's the classic line they say like if you love what you're doing you never work a day in your life. Exactly. And uh I do love it. I also look at other people who are in my line of work and they have it a lot harder. Like even like I just spent last weekend we had 2,200 college students from all around America and the world at a shabaton in Crown Heights and many of these other are part of what's called campus. They're dealing with kids who uh you know they sit there and the most they can do is sing h or you know David and they don't have you know when I sit with my crew you know like we can sing till the cows come home you know we can sit for hours and we speak a you know a common language you know we can be connected and also as they grow older like when I started I was 28 right so you know now I'm 47 so like I have students who are only six seven eight years younger than me and you know we have real you know beautiful connections I'm watching their families, >> building friendships, >> watching their families, you know, grow up. Um, so yeah, I'm very very fortunate [clears throat] to be doing what they're doing. I love it. >> Does the community get involved in a certain capacity? >> Yeah, that's a great question. We we do um >> have opportunities for the community to get involved like to host you sometimes to host Shabas meals or to sometimes, you know, help out and and come by and and or speak or share or we have panels. >> Sure. I'm speaking on behalf of a lot of listeners who live in the Muny community, the greater Rockland community, that if we can help in any way of hosting or being part of an event, we'd love to. As we wrap up, we just have a couple of uh things that we normally like to do. So, I just want to first ask you if you have any questions for us >> before we uh have to run off. [laughter] So, now's your opportunity. >> Yeah. Don't force a question. Only if you have. >> Yeah. If you don't have one, it's fine. >> I don't have a question. Just a comment. Yeah. >> That I've seen since you guys started. I just love your your dynamic. Yeah. Like tiff tat stacking poking. >> I don't know what you're talking about. What's he [laughter] talking about? >> I'm not sure. >> I have no idea. >> Are we like oblivious to >> I don't know what he's saying. >> I don't know. This is just us. >> Yeah. Well, then that's >> it depends on the day, you know. >> But also we both have a personality that we can say like just shut the heck up and then a minute later just like brush it off a little bit. >> That's that's a good skill in itself to >> Yeah. No, thank God. Otherwise, I would never be able to put up with him. But >> right >> um I will not respond to that. See, I'm [laughter] I'm going to rise above. You know what? You're growing. Wow. That's it. Mission accomplished. Um, the other thing I'd love to do is just ask you, who would be a good guest that you would recommend on the podcast. You know, we've been having some great successes with it. People who have been asking others and bring them on and >> uh it started with Gershi Moscowitz recommended Yasi Green and Yasi came on and uh we've had a lot of success with that. So, who who would you pick? Gasha was a party planner for one of my first big events. >> Oh, he's the best. >> Yeah, he's great. >> Um, well, first of all, I know that you've had some really great people on, so I can't recommend them. Like, you know, Lawrence Hajio, who's a big fan of, and obviously Sunonny Pelman, who's >> We should have them both. They were both fantastic. >> Yeah. Um, if I would pick somebody, um, I would think that there's a real, in my eyes, legend in in in the Jewish community of Rockland. Um, and that is Alan Rosentock. Um we often go by temp shabas we bring our students there. I've had many many many students whose families um get support from tempashabas but also when I reach out to Allan individually sometimes about a particular crisis or a case you know he's always more than happy to try and meet with them and help. And I think he's got great stories and anecdotes and he's he's also just a really he's an enjoyable guy. I wish I got to spend more time with him. He's a great guy. So that would be my >> amazing recommend. You know you know him well enough to give him a shout out. You know what? He's he's the kind of guy honestly he's he's probably busy doing such tremendous right this minute. I wouldn't want to interrupt him but please uh ask him for us to come on our program. That would be fantastic. And we welcome you Alan. Uh you know uh like you said he's doing tremendous work in the community and so are you. >> Thank you. >> What a great story. What a great background. Your your story of where you come from and the story of Ruth. I was like listening to like, you know, I I felt like I was listening literally like Na'vi, like a story that happened in history. And that's okay. >> That's what it felt like. And it's such a beautiful story. And uh so glad that you can share that story with us. >> And thank you for being on. And thank you for our subscribers. And again, thank you to the Prime Source uh community of people that really are the force behind all of this. Stefan and Will and uh everybody else that makes this a possibility. So we really appreciate it. and all the subscribers and the the love and even a little bit of the hate. >> We have it sometimes, but we take it. >> We could do without it, but yeah, >> we take it in the chin. We learn from it and we grow. As long as it's constructive, we appreciate it. Even if it's not, we'll talk about it. >> And the main thing I would just >> Here we go. The message go to the camera. >> No, this is not the message. I just want to say that whatever you're dealing with, Oshi, that you have to get running. Everything should go smoothly and sweetly as best as possible. >> I got to run. Dove, great job. >> [music]