Noise to Clarity: Returning to the Present Moment

Welcome, welcome everyone to another Wednesday night, the fundamentals to gain inner peace with your host coach Mafra Bernfeld. And uh tonight we're going to discuss a little bit going from noise to clarity. It's been a while. We're after Pesak now and it's been I think three weeks since last time. So, it's always good to find some time especially after Pes to sit down and see what's going on. There's a before and after. We had a before and now is the after. see what's going on, how it was. Uh during these three weeks, I realized the word pes is a big word and it means for everybody different. So that's a huge awareness just to see what does it mean for you? What did it mean for you? Where are you now? Where were you before? It's like they say the seder has in those few hours like what goes on in a year there's family and stuff come up and it's everybody has a different uh experience but there's no right or wrong it just is. So let's see. So before we continue let's just sit for a moment and reflect. Take a deep breath and just notice that we're after Pes, whatever the worries were, whatever the thoughts were before and actually see is it, you know, the fears or whatever it is. Most of the time was good. For many it was amazing. You can share in the chat. Let me know what came up for you. What comes up now when you reflect? Something you want to do different next year. Hopefully in your line you don't want to think about it more happier experience heavy overload. Good. More relaxed. Amazing. Thank you, Hashem. Good time to thank Hashem. Okay. So, we're going to spend some time just for a few minutes tonight, you know, just becoming aware of where we are now and try to see what's going on and hopefully uh some plan continue. For many people, it's hard to get back into routine. Other people are waiting for the day. It's too hard to sit without the routine. So that's important. That's important. So let's take a moment, deep breath, just come into the room and just by joining me tonight. That's amazing. That means you notice taking a few minutes for yourself is amazing. Deep breath in and out and just notice where you are. Yeah, if you slow down and uh could be you didn't have time to slow down till now, which is an awareness, which is okay. And recognize just what's actually going on. You can close your eyes and uh tune in internally what's going on in my body. And automatically when we stop, we slow down and take a deep breath. You know what happens? Thoughts come up, emotions Maybe some tension or you might feel resistance of I don't want to slow down now. Just feel that. Where in your body do you feel it? No judgment. There's no right or wrong. Nothing needs to change and nothing needs to happen. And it's just sitting with what is beautiful. Okay. And you're still here. Even though it might not be comfortable maybe or things came up, you're still here. So that's another step. just to be able to sit and notice, maybe notice some discomfort and to stay there. You don't have to take out your phone to distract. There's nothing you need to do now. Even though your mind might say or might come up with ideas, but not now. We're here now and whatever comes up comes up. There is no running. We're just with it for a moment. Whatever it is, that's beautiful. If you can do that, allow whatever comes up. Notice and not be scared. Or if it's something you enjoy, take it in. But not always is it something you enjoy. And that's the reason why many people have a hard time slowing down. So whatever it is, you notice allow. Beautiful. Okay. And now once we do slow down and once we learn how to stay in the moment even though different thoughts feelings come up, we can turn to that part or to that feeling or to that thought and listen to it. You might want to ask it, what are you saying? Tell me more. Usually wants to say something. There's something going on. And we're learning how to listen, how to have a conversation with a different part. And you can ask yourself, what's bothering me? What do I need? What am I missing? And whatever it is you allow to share, it might throw tantrums. It might complain. They might say things you can't do, which is okay, at least for listening. But the awareness is the most important. Listen to that part. See what comes up when you slow down and tune in. What am I feeling? What's the message? What do I need? What am I missing? Whatever it is, beautiful. Okay. So, let's take a moment and just notice what came up. If you want, you can share in the chat and let me know any awareness. Many people have a hard time slowing down and in a group could be a little bit easier. You know, when they're on their own, it could be hard, but doing it together with the support, sitting in one room can be easier, which is which is good. Okay, we'll uh allow time later for questions. Beautiful. Noticing being tired. I love that. That means it's working. Sometimes slowing down in challenging times is hard. Very good. Because you notice everything that's coming coming up which is hard. Take more time for myself. Beautiful. Beautiful tension because end of semester is near and as a teacher I need to prioritize my responsibilities. Amazing. Just can you uh just create that space for it? No need to answer back. Just creating that space and noticing when you allow it to come up whatever it is. So I hear you. Wow. You might want to come up with answers. And uh like we did we just started in the beginning from chaos to clarity. Everybody wants clarity. Everybody's looking for clarity. we wish but in order to get the clarity many times we don't have clarity and having that clarity of no clarity is also huge sitting in a space where you're noticing that I'm just so confused and you're not running away from it you can sit with And then you can allow to listen. It's going to take you to hopefully better places. But even not even if not just creating the space you deserve to have that space and allow whatever wants to come up. So if uh yeah overwhelmed comes up and no clarity just notice that beautiful. Okay. My manager criticizes me 24/7. Oh, that's not good. I know I do a great job. Beautiful. Thank you, Hashem. I just show show. Okay, this is this is a it's a discussion. If you're in an environment, they're just knocking it. Not easy. Even though you're doing the work by yourself, but yeah, noticing that that's amazing. Beautiful. Okay, so let's continue. Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, this is a time and space that I'm taking for myself. Thank you for creating it. Beautiful. And I hope that you can create some more and not only once a week. That's important. Find a space, a time, it might be outside, whatever it is that you have time for yourself. Okay. So, let's continue. So, we slow down. We're noticing. We're aware. Things come up and that's beautiful. Um, I know for many people it's hard to be in the present moment. And there's a reason why. Yeah. And it's not always easy. So, let's continue. All right. So, let's take a deep breath and just be in the moment. Notice what comes up in your body and let's ask a gentle question. What's actually going on inside me right now? Not what should be, not what I want to feel, just what's going on. and see what comes up. Maybe busy, tired, pressure, resistance, heaviness, numb, or maybe you feel pleasant, relaxed. You're you're enjoying the moment. Let's just notice. Just notice. It's okay. Whatever comes up. See if you can put simple words to the feeling like I feel overwhelmed. or I feel something off. I feel my whole body shaking. I feel stressed. I feel pressure. Just put some words to it to that feeling. And notice when you put some words to it, what happens? It could be the same or there might be a shift just by noticing and putting putting some words to it. I feel all my responsibilities pressure. I feel bored. Beautiful. Now, instead of moving away, you want to hear from me. Okay, what's next? I don't want to sit here. We're going to sit here. Instead of trying to move away from what's coming up, take a deep breath and just notice. And let's stay with it. Don't worry, I won't leave you here the whole night. Just for a minute or two. You notice what comes up and give some words to it and just stay with it for a moment or two. You can focus on your breath. Makes it a little bit easier. and with compassion. It might be hard, but you're okay. You're in a safe place. You notice whatever comes up, and you don't have to run away from it. Beautiful. And just see if there's any movement, any changes, any thoughts. Are things calming down or maybe not? Sometimes by slowing down and sitting with it, we get some clarity. Just clarity of what's going on. Why do I feel this way? And sometimes clarity doesn't feel good. Not always does clarity feel good because you're becoming clear of something and that's okay. But that is clarity. That's also clarity. It could be when you heard the word clarity in the beginning, you want to feel good and calm and clear, but not always does clarity bring that. But clarity is important and it can help us notice and maybe things need to change, but as of now, this is what it is. So, we're slowing down, becoming aware, putting some words to it. I feel overwhelmed. I am nervous, a lot of pressure. See what comes up. And that itself is clarity. That's clarity. It doesn't feel good. That's okay. You sit with it. Create the space. You can give yourself that hug and be with yourself with that clarity. That might not be something you like. Beautiful. Okay. Deep breath in and out. Amazing. And nothing needs to change. We don't have to solve our problems in this moment. We're just learning how to be with ourselves. And no matter what comes up, if you can sit there, notice, not run away from it for a few minutes, that's the clarity we're looking for. And that's beautiful. Eventually, you can ask yourself, "What's something that I can do to make things a little bit easier?" You can ask the part, "What do you need from me? What's something that I can do?" And hopefully you can find something small, a little bit of self-care, so that you can actually do it. Whether it's taking a walk, taking some time for yourself, doing something you enjoy. Beautiful. Okay, so that's it. We'll open up for questions. If you want, you can share in the chat or if you want, I can unmute you to ask questions. Let me know what came up while sitting with ourselves, slowing down. Okay, question number one. You want to unmute yourself? Here you go. >> Um I uh my chat is disabled >> so I could not put my question in for you. >> No problem. Do you want to ask it live? Yes, >> please. >> Thank you for holding this group. Um, I uh I'm very familiar with what you're doing. I I do all of this and I know all about what you're doing. Done it for two years and sometimes my overwhelm is beyond that. Way beyond. I cannot sit with and it takes hours to come down from the response I get and um I'm just chugging along with it. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> Wow. Okay. Thank you for asking. And um if I can ask you, how often does it happen? Um how often do you find yourself on the high energy that you can't slow it down? >> It's a good question. It's hard for me to answer that. It's becoming less and less over the two years. >> Wow. >> Yeah. But it's uh I will use the word it's terrorizing and I have no idea what it is. >> And you've been doing this for two years. >> Yeah. >> And you see small change. >> Yep. >> Okay. We got to celebrate. >> That's what I say. Whatever it is, I just have to do little by little, I guess. Wow. >> The awareness, the awareness is important. And when sometimes we can sit down and take a few moments because we know we need it. And then when we do create the space, we become aware of the overwhelmed. It's too much. And we think, you know what, I can't. So again, it's possible that you might be in a situation where you can't and you have to distract yourself. Again, I'm not going to, you know, you might need more than profession more, you know, professional help, >> but but what I do want to mention is many times our mind says, you know, I'm spending a few minutes with myself because I want to relax. So, why am I so overwhelmed? >> Yeah. >> And that makes us even more anxious. >> Yeah. This is it's it's a hard case. I uh >> Okay. So it might not be in your case, but I do want to mention it for the group. >> Yeah. >> That that >> even sitting sitting down for a few minutes and creating that space where you're by yourself because you know you need it >> and let's say you go into your room, close the door, and you feel overwhelmed. And somebody mentioned to me last week, he feels his body shaking and it's just too much for him. Um, but just sitting there and noticing your body shaking, be there with yourself. Now, it could be hard for many people. I know. And again, I'm going to mention it. You know, if you need help, reach out. But for most of us, when you notice you're in a situation where it's hard, especially when you take time off, you're slowing down because you want to relax and you you know, and then you find yourself in a place where you don't like you don't like the way you feel. You don't like the thoughts, you don't like it. But that's exactly what we're discussing. That's exactly what's going to come up when you slow down. So, we're learning how to slow down. Notice what comes up. Many times it's very uncomfortable and just be there with that uncomfortability with the thoughts. It can be crazy. Just stay there. Hold the space for yourself and imagine. Again, I don't know if you ever had it. It's hard sometimes to do it by yourself if you never experienced it. And I hope that with this group, with this Wednesday night, we can slowly experience it together. But many times a person is in a hard situation and I wouldn't mind if you know you think for a moment. Have you ever had a different person who you can share with? Tell them exactly what's going on and then you felt a little bit better. They just created a space. They're not giving you any ideas. They're just like, "Wow." They're just there for you. Have you ever had that? And if you did, then you experienced it. But I know there are people who never really had in their life. And it's something to talk about. Um whether they keep everything inside, they don't talk to other people or they're taking care of the world and nobody takes care of them so they don't have that space where they can share. So you never really had a place where you felt that. Again, it's a it's a feeling in your body where you really feel safe and okay even though stuff is happening in your life. So, if you never had it, it's hard. But hopefully, I hope everybody once experienced it. And that's exactly what we want to create for ourselves. If I can take myself into the room, listen to what's going on and say, "Wow, I hear you. I see you. I am here for you. No changes. You don't have to do anything." And then the other part, again, it could be a little hard because it's all you, but one part listens and the other part talks and you're creating that space and you're like, "Thank you." After a few minutes, thank yourself and say, "Please, can we do this again tomorrow?" So, we're creating that space for ourselves. And the next step is if you can do it for yourself, you can do it for others. So really start by first experiencing it, then creating it for yourself, and then creating it for other people, whether it's your kids, a friend, whatever comes up. Okay, beautiful. Thank you very much and welcome back everyone and hopefully um slowly getting back into some sort of routine. And if you need something in your routine to make things easier, please be aware of that and get it if you need it. Have a great night and I'll see you next week, Wednesday night. Thank you. Enjoy.