Nitzavim — A Crazy Deal

guy walks into a bar it's not a joke why are you laughing already notice what you have course it's a joke a guy walks into a bar and he he says I'll have a shot of whiskey and the bartender pours him a shot the guy drinks it and the bartender says that'll be five dollars so he says no nobody told my five dollars I said I'll have a shot of whiskey I did not mention remuneration in our oral contract you put the shot on the bar clearly you were giving it to me for free so he says no no that's not what I had in mind is well you didn't specify so there's another guy at the bar there he says you know I happen to be a contract lawyer and technically he's right so the bartender says the guy okay you scammed me out of a free drink good for you congratulations but you're banned for life enjoy it because you never I'm never serving you again so the guy takes a shot walks out of the bar next day he walks in walks up to the bar the bartender says buddy you're banned for life he says what are you talking about I don't know what I don't know what you have no idea what I'm talking about about about a ban I've never been here before the bartender says Wow then you must have a double he says exactly two scotches you got it doubled okay it's a pun anyways speaking of contract law we're not allowed jokes about contract law so you gotta give me a little bit of leeway here speaking of contract law okay this is the last parsha of the year parshas NEETs of him and at the very beginning we speak about a contract covenant item needs of mhmm you are all standing today call him all of you lifts Nash family cake him before Hashem your God Roche attempt shift take him the heads of your tribes Zeke Nate hem your elders vitiated I'm your officers coyly she throw every man of Israel tap him your children shake him your women we get hushaby head of mechanical the convert in the midst of your camp may create a paycheck off from the choppers of would I'd show you evening macaw to the drawers of water for what purpose live raha in order that you may pass you may come under be this as Gemelli katha the Covenant of the contract of a Shem your God okay so a few things here first of all what we just read is a list of all types of members of the nation and after saying all these different types it says little raha Vivid assalamualaikum in order to pass under the covenant or enter the covenant of Hashem your God in order in order meaning for the purpose of so basically what it's saying is in order that we be able to secure this deal we have to have everybody all these categories all these different diverse types included okay so first question is if you're negotiating a deal generally speaking it doesn't strengthen your side if you group yourself in with all types of people especially with people who might be weaker in as far as in terms of a position of negotiation than you are so why does it enumerate all these different types including the lowest members or rank or echelon of society and say that that is for the purpose of or in order to finalize and seal the deal it's like give me an example let's say you know percent that you're healthy and you're gonna stay healthy so why would you want to be part of a group paying into insurance for people who you know are sick and they're gonna be sick right now the reason you pay in the insurance because you don't know there's no guarantee but imagine you knew you're healthy you have no plan and getting sick you're not gonna get sick so why are you paying for the unhealthy people so same type of reasoning if you if you're trying to negotiate a deal why are you pooling together with people who are in a weaker position than you okay that's the first question second question is there's and there's another deal or another covenant or contract that's hinted to in these verses Rashi actually mentions it because when it talks about the height of a chakra the woodchoppers Rashi tells us who these people are he says this teaches us that there were Canaan him there were Canaanites that came to convert to Judaism in the days of my said obey no but they were insincere they were not interested in Judaism they did it in order to not be defeated by the by the Israelite army and Rashi says it's actually similar to something that we read about more explicitly here this is only hinted to but elsewhere in Tanakh it's more explicit in the book of Yeshua in the book of Joshua it talks about the given him who are another indigenous nation and they did the same type of thing they came under false pretext and converted to Judaism but it wasn't sincere but after they had already done so they had already made a covenant they made a contract and at that point you're sure would not renege on the contract and the same type of thing with my should obey no he wouldn't he wouldn't back out of it so it's interesting that in the context of a contract between the Jewish people and Hashem we're hinting to another contract which was sort of done under false Pence's or in a duplicitous manner it was actually like somewhat fraudulent contract that was honored by both by Malaysia in his generation and then Yeshua in his generation so what's the connection there with that other contract that's hinted to within this contract okay and then thirdly just a general sort of question how does this idea as we mentioned this is the last part of the year how does this idea help prepare us for the coming year and I might say both prepares for the coming year and also maybe on a more specific level to how does it help us to get ready for the High Holidays the actual high holiday rush that's coming next week okay so we'll put all that on the back burner for a moment tell you a story there was once a Jew who became somewhat of a fixture at the fur brains of the lubavitcher rebbe in the late 1970s in the early 1980s and he was an unusual sort of character in fact if you would see him at the gatherings you would spot him instantly because he didn't look like anybody else there we're like a bucket hat and he would stand up on the sort of the the bleachers and he would pump his fists and he would cheer sort of like like a coach cheering a team and and there was a reason for that he actually was a coach he was his name was Abe Sachs and he was the coach of the Harlem Globetrotters basketball team and there's a whole story how he actually ended up becoming the coach at the fabrini ins he became the coach he cheered and coached the fabrini ins so how did that happen he was sitting at home watching television and he lives somewhere on Long Island maybe not far from here I'm not sure which town he lived in but he was watching a documentary about Jews in America and about Hassidim in Brooklyn and he there was there was a segment about the about Lubavitch and about the rabbit and he was very taken with what he saw and so he decided he's going down to Brooklyn he took the train into Brooklyn and he found 770 Stern Parkway and he walks into the show and he starts looking for the rabbi from the TV where's the rabbi from the TV so the buckram over there the yeshiva Boys they they first of all they they saw he was a little bit out of place so they asked him did you put on thrillin today he said I haven't put on tefillin in 30 years so they said okay now's your chance so they put on filling with him but it what she did but but then he said but I'm here for the rabbi I want to see the rabbi from the TV when when do I get to meet the rabbi from the TV they said it's not so simple it's not just like you know you walk in and you know you get a meeting and he says but I have to have to meet the rabbit from the TV so they said look you can't get a meeting with him but what you could do is you could see him when he'll come out to pray the afternoon prayer then you'll get to see the rabbi so he waited and it was it was it was morning when he when he arrived so he waited several hours and finally that ever came out from inka and as the Rebbe was coming out this guy Abe Sachs coach of the Harlem Globetrotters did something probably he was the first person and the last person in 770 to do which is you know a lot of people when the devil would come into the room they would run away because they were nervous about you know didn't want to do anything unseemly in that of his eyes and so they sort of melted into the scenery he did the exact opposite he made a beeline right for the rabbit ran right up to that I got really really close and he says with great excitement he says rabbi my name is Abe Sachs I am the coach of the highland Globetrotters and everyone sort of looking at him like cringing at the inappropriateness of the way he presented himself and sort of the how he was socially out of place inept and before anybody could comment or do anything or or remove him in case anyone had that idea that ever responded without missing a beat great I need a coach and proceeded to Mincha now that that's the story now afterwards what happened is he became a fixture as I said and when there were four Brennan's that were not on Shabbos he would come to 770 and he would do his thing he would literally coach at the fabricants you see that of his response I mean to say that the rabbit took it in stride the devil was compassionate probably not surprising to anybody that that Evan didn't embarrass him again not surprising but there's something particularly artful and instructive about the response you know there's a difference between tolerance and interdependence tolerance means that even though someone's different from us it's okay we're nice people we're tolerant people we'll let you be here that's tolerance interdependence is not even though someone is different from us especially because someone is different from us especially because they are unlike anyone else here well we don't have anyone else like you we need you over here so a tolerant response to the coach would have been like well you guys a little eccentric but at least you sincere okay don't embarrass him yeah that's very cute you know find your place we'll make a place for you that would be tolerant but interdependence is you say to this guy who's funny and out of place and doesn't know the social rules that not only will we find a place for you but to a certain extent your place has been empty we've been missing you until you arrived almost it was almost as if that I was saying like almost half annoyed like you're the coach well what have you been doing all these of the all this time where have you been if you're the coach you know why weren't you here already I need a coach now if you would have asked anybody the day before the coach arrived what did the fabrini ins really need if they would have taken a poll in 770 guys we want to add something to the Devas for Brannigan's to really take us to the next level what do you think we could do nobody would say oh you know what we should totally get we should get a coach we'll get a guy yeah real coach like a basketball coach and he'll stand on the bleachers and he'll pump his fist and he'll like cheer on the whole crowd and that'll just be the greatest thing nobody nobody would say that No would dream of it and yet Abe Sachs says I'm the coach and then Abbot tells him all right well you know it's about time because we need a coach over here get to work no one wants to be tolerated no one wants to be told it's okay that you're here how do people want to be reacted to they want to be told we were we were one thing we were lacking we were missing without you so it's interesting that if you look at these verses that we read before you are standing today all of you before I Shem your God heads of your tribes the elders the officers every man of Israel children women the convert within your camp from the choppers of wood to the drawers of water in order to pass into the Covenant of Hashem your God there are actually 10 categories enumerated here and when we say 10 categories we say the number 10 what is the number 10 make you think of when you're talking about people a minion what's the idea of a minion the idea of a minion is that if you're one short of a minion you have nothing you don't have a minion at all every single one is indispensable so - what's the point here what's it saying it's saying that when you have the Jewish people together all the different types and all the different stripes there's not one type or category or class that's dispensable to the contrary it takes all kinds and you need every single one of them and if you didn't have any one of them you'd be lacking and we wouldn't be able to do business just like a minion this lacking one isn't able to pray or at least it's not able to say certain prayers that's the idea last week I ll the 18th devil is the birthday of the Baal Shem Tov and also the birthday of the altar ever different years but same same date so in fact that's why we didn't have class last week ok so where where was I one night I was in Denver and the other night I was in Los Angeles but in Denver I heard a great story and you know if you have to be careful don't tell a story to a public speaker or are you gonna hear it be used very very soon so happen to be I got to Denver and the rabbi whose event it was there in Denver he took me for lunch and there was a couple of a couple of other rabbis there and he mentioned a story there and I liked it so much that I liked I liked it so much I used it that night at the event that they brought me to speak for well what was the story the story was that he rabbi angle from Denver that he was as Ibaka in yeshiva he was in Miami and the local Shelia or one of the local Slocombe needed to be away on Yom Kippur for a family emergency actually happened to be his wife was giving birth and she had to her for insurance reasons she had to actually give birth out of town she out of the country really Montreal so the Shelia had to be in Montreal for his wife's labor and he got a couple actually was more than a couple there were four you Shiva bokram from the yeshiva there in Miami we're gonna cover for this rabbi's shul onion Kippur so there were four of these boys and they they come to show him Kippur before before Kol Nidrei and there's like one guy there and they wait and they wait the wait and then another guy comes second guy now the now they're up to six and they're waiting they're waiting and then they're up to seven it's a couple hours and they've got nine guys and they're thinking to themselves what's going to happen here I mean it's cold near a cold need that I call it that we're not gonna have a minion there's nine guys and Kol Nidre that's like the that's the that's the Superbowl of Judaism that's the biggest night that's and this is and they're stall and trying to buy time trying to get the other guys not to leave and he says all of a sudden he hears the steps creaking outside it was like the front door had a little walk up to the front door so he says he heard the creaking of the steps and all of a sudden there was this silence in the room there was just this anticipation of electricity and some guy walked in to the room and they all rushed him and they grabbed him and he danced around him and you know he you would think you know that he had just thrown the the game-winning touchdown for the Super Bowl the way that they received him and you know but really what was it he was the tenth guy to walk in and the complete dominion for Kol Nidre so rabbi Engel says that it was at that moment that I realized exactly how every Jew needs to be welcomed to every show when do you realize when you're waiting for the tenth guy two hours into Kol Nidre then you realize how every Jew ought to be welcomed under every circumstance he doesn't have to be the tenth guy there could be 200 people he could be guide 210 and still that's the way that he should be welcomed why because it's not about tolerance about interdependence and if we don't have you it's not just that okay if you show up we'll make space okay we'll make room for for one more that's not it that's tolerance interdependence means when another Jew shows up we realize retro actively albeit how much we were lacking before this one more Jews showed up before this one more jewel arrived so I was asking how we're supposed to look to this parsha for a lesson how to get ready for the High Holidays so one very specific lesson very practical lesson is High Holidays in shul is sort of like a cold war between the regulars and the once-a-year Jews right let's be honest right and it's not necessarily once a year sometimes three days a year right two days so Rosh Hashanah and one day Yom Kippur and there's like this standoffish this this territorialism you know I'm a regular I dive in here every week and now somebody sat in my spot right or somebody took my moxa or they they took day that he took they took my my Tallis you know the attitude has to be that when somebody presents themselves in shul even if and especially if this is somebody who you don't normally see that is not only okay you realize that in a certain way we were lacking we were missing until they arrived okay now let's talk on a bigger level how does this get us ready for the new year the new year of course we know means that we want Hashem to bless us with a good sweet happy healthy new year for us and all of our loved ones so we're trying to strike a deal when do we negotiate the best deal so we're saying earlier that it's counterintuitive you put us all together and then we have to negotiate no no if I have a better case let me negotiate on my own no the answer is like this when do we negotiate the best deal with Hashem when we're together when we have all types precisely because when you look at all these different groups Rocher come shift taken the heads of the tribes the highest of the high the most elite and the show you've may Mecca the water carriers you say what connection do they have to each other what logical kinship what relationship is there between these two these two Jews it's irrational makes no sense perfect that's perfect because that's the whole purpose of a covenant see when you have two friends two allies two partners who come together for a reason which generally is the reason why you know that's redundant to say the reason people come together is for a reason but it's true people have a reason why they align themselves with with another with others what's the purpose of a contract or covenant is that you're making a deal then even later should that reason dissipate we're both stuck even when we have no reason any longer to be together we're making a decision now while we are motivated to be together that even later should one of us lose or bait and maybe even both of us lose interest in staying in this partnership that we've signed on to it and now we can't get out so the whole concept of a contract or covenant is to say that we're going to continue together even when we don't have the reason to stay together anymore the contract itself sort of supplants the lack of reason so when we want to make a deal with Hashem when we want to sign on for another year and sign that contract what's the best way to do it when we have a contract with each other that makes no sense when we say the Jews all types will be unified with each other even when outwardly speaking there's no connection between those two groups well even not where even when you would look at them and you would say you know I hate to say this but I was I was once I was once talking to a guy a learned guy I've been tired or somebody who III would hope would have would would know better and how I don't know I don't remember how I let the conversation turn to politics because generally I avoid it like the plague but it turned to politics and he starts to talk about how so and so such and such Jewish politician is whatever it is I don't know what's I am I'm avoiding politics the point is so I said to him I need you say any start saying about you know about the the evangelicals in the Bible Belt and about you know they have good day I like how they vote they have good policy so I said to him you know you're not a bagels and lox Jew you're not a cultural Jew you're a you're a learner Jew you're a scholar you study Torah so let me ask you a question who do you have more in common with a Bible Belt evangelical Christian who votes like you or a totally irreligious Jew who doesn't vote like you he says with the evangelical from the Bible Belt I said I don't understand how in the world they learned Jew could say such a thing maybe if all you knew of Judaism were cultural so then you would say someone I have a cultural kinship with you no but but you should know better you do know better that it's not about having a cultural link it's about all Jews having a certain interdependence and to the contrary the fact that you have members of one nation who are so diverse and so different and and culturally have very little in common and maybe even have nothing in common other than the fact that they're just members of this nation that they're both Jews that itself that itself is the entire point of our ability to strike a strong deal with with Hashem when we say to him look at us we have brothers and sisters who we have nothing in common with and nevertheless we're making a contract with each other and that's the answer by the way to the hinted what Rashi says the hinted contract that the Canaanites made in the the times of of my should obey no and the given him the Gibeonites made in the times of Yeshua remember they came and they were duplicitous under false pretenses they made a peace treaty and they became part of the Jewish nation technically speaking maybe if you would have a good lawyer you could have sued them and you could have kicked them out of the Jewish nation because they did it on for you Texas and yet both you both Moisture obey no and Yeshua said you know what you they can stay we're not gonna we're not going to contest it we're not going to dispute it they can stay that's precisely why this is hinted here when we talk about the the kenai name and the times of my shadow bando and the giving him and the time of Yeshua who came and they made a deal and it wasn't a fair deal and it was even a shady deal and nevertheless the leader of the Jewish people said honor it keep them we're not disputing it when we have that attitude toward every Jew and say keep him include him he's part of us or not we're not disputing it then the same exact response reciprocally comes from from shamayim from heaven Hashem says you know what I'll make a crazy deal with you - you're making a crazy deal with each other I'll make a crazy deal with you - and that's the deeper meaning where exodus explains from this whole parsha in this whole beginning of fascist Nitz of him item needs solving high aim and it solving means standing standing means victorious and means vindicated how so we cuz we've been judged favorably when hiring on this day what's the third day the big day I am had in Rosh Hashanah why why would we judge favorably today on the big day because cool hand lifts Nash Emily K come all of you all categories every type of Jew even those we have nuff nothing in common with even those who culturally we don't have the same language we don't have the same sprach we don't have the same interest doesn't matter a Jew is a Jew is a Jew is a Jew and when we honor that when we honor Jewish unity as crazy as it is then Hashem says he's honoring his deal with us as crazy as it as that is so if you want to know how to negotiate a good contract that's how you negotiate a good contract you look out for somebody who you think you have nothing in common with other than the fact that they are also Jewish and Hashem will look out for you anyways should I have a good sweet healthy Happy New Year for you and yours