Life Giving Faith

The essential things. It's a office. Okay, so right now we are learning a Mona. We're learning about a Mona which is really the brains first in the in the beginning of this he says that you know other people say it's something minor but by the way he says it is something very very great of great importance and some of the one of the reasons why is because there are certain in Yanam certain meters that we experience that are really clowning. They they they encompass all the other meters. So really a Mona and another another whatever you lose office humility these things really encompass all all of the same thing. So every good character trait that a person comes into in a person that a person could acquire they can acquire it through that meter like another a Mona everything is these are things that are at the show wish of everything good on the flip side of that you have a program in a Mona and a person doesn't have the proper Mona that they need to have in in any particular situation and then you also have when a person's you know ball guy over So I was just joking now with the with a guy over there he said he said over he said that uh What he said to me? He said in the coffee room over there. He said this is like my second third third cup of coffee you know. So say how you keep up I'm on a old man right now one one meal a day so I just pound a bunch of coffee and it's like a stimulant makes you feel like you ate you know. So anyway I was in the in the room and I was talking to a guy and he said you know that that guy over is more powerful than Tyra you know. Guy over is more powerful than Tyra have a strong desire you know lack of a better word of lust with something is one thing but a person's got pride that's the next level. So, I heard one time a sippur like this. I can't remember which rebbe it was, but one of the admorim was sitting at a tish. And there was they put in front of him a very, very nice spread. He was very hungry. I don't remember who the rebbe is. It was probably, you know, after, you know, a few times, if you give over a sippur of a rebbe, you know, every person says it was this rebbe, that rebbe. So, I don't know who it was. It doesn't matter. Let me share a name. But they put in front of him uh food. And and he was very hungry. And he seen the spread and he really wanted to eat it. But if he would have jumped into his his his type of sechel, if he would have jumped into ta'avah, then it would have affected the ga'avah, the pride, the kavod that he was getting that everybody seen. So, if he jumps into it, then he's going to look like a ba'al ta'avah. And because the ga'avah was bigger, he was able to not eat the food, you know? Because he's like, you know, it's bigger the kavod is bigger for me than, you know, than eating the actual food. So, ga'avah is bigger than ta'avah. But either way it goes, these things are the negative character traits that after them come everything else. And that's the whole entire thing of all of Rabbeinu Sa'adia Gaon. Rabbeinu was teaching us in every way that this is connected to this, this is connected to this. This is why the whole you guys are seeing in Likutei Moharan, you guys are into Zionism, tefillah, emunah, nissim, you know, no pun intended. Nissim, right? Eretz Yisrael, all these things are bechinah of the same thing. It's the same aspect of one each to the other, and everything is interconnected. So, when it comes to emunah specifically, I brought over from Eitz Eitz Chaim Mevo, because I it's just a very, very small small nekudah he says over here in Yod Gimmel in the beginning of Eitz Chaim Mevo. Eitz Chaim Mevo is also another good sefer. Maybe we'll go through it in depth, you know, when we finish this one. But uh for me, I always you know, one of the reasons I will say why I'm very big into, you know, looking to take to me world and and things like this where we are giving me just the action. Extract it for me because usually I I was on the road like I said 100 days out of the year. So I'm running all the time. So I have time to sit down and go through a full limited marathon and and allow it to also tickle my intellect and my heart and my everything and bring me down. Right now I need to know what to do. I need to you know, whatever. Had one Torah I would usually run with it and I was always usually torn and test. Torn and test where Rabbeinu talks about when a person goes out to be makarov that a person has to be very careful that the clipers of the other people don't attach themselves to the person and the whole Indian of mishpat that a person died. So I would take this with me cuz it was germane to the mission. And everything else I was eight hours all day long. Eight hours all day long. But it was able to uh to go into me and give me the koach that I needed. But one of the things he says over here in the world which is written by Shimshon Barsky who was actually uh a descendant of Rabbi Nachman. He's buried in Uman. If you ever get to go to the other cemetery I don't know if you guys got to go when you guys were there. There's the other cemetery the Jewish cemetery. It's like much much bigger cemetery in Uman. And you'll see over there Avraham ben Rab Nachman Avraham Chazan who was the the son of Nachman Tulchin. And right next to him is the kever for Shimshon Barsky who was one of the uh one of the descendants of Rabbeinu. So he says Emunah Amitit. He says over here Emunah Amitit he is so shoveshl hakadosha. So Rabbeinu was saying or Shimshon is saying in the name of Rabbeinu Reb Noson says that Emunah real true Emunah real true Emunah is the very foundation and the root of all kedusha. It all starts with this. This is ki all yedei Emunah. Ki all yedei Emunah bishleimus zochin l'chol hamidot tovot. A person is zocheh to all of the midot tovot if a person starts with Emunah. See from our besif besif so it says also in the sea of Dallas, you go back to the sea of Dallas and but if surely again the moon of teeth came in only day MS. So these two things have to go together in moon and MS. You can have a moon. Then it's not saying not make the mistake that when you read this also think I think this also came down and told to Zion also. But a moon is impossible to have a moon without MS. A man is not saying cuz a person can have a the moon that's a false moon. You can have a moon and not have a moon of shalom. All right? Like the person who thinks that yeah, I believe in the shalom and the shalom hates me. And two times contradictory things. No, a person's got a moon. He believes in shalom, but he believes in his shalom. He believes bad things about his shalom. It's just low quality moon. It's so it's not it's not shalom. It's not shalom. Because a moon of shalom, a person knows that a shalom loves me. A shalom is doing for me all the time. A shalom is with me. A shalom is taking care of me. A shalom only wants the best for me. If you think a shalom is doing is good for me, that's in the moon in the moon of shalom. We can say these things, but to live like that, that's when a person knows that it's a moon of shalom. That is as completely. So once a person has this, the MS and they couple these things together, then the person enters into a moon of shalom. A person is able to to to arrive and to get to a place where the moon of shalom and through that a person could reach all the middle to vote. It's a cloud. So this is the whole aspect of what we're paying. We don't even understand. I had a I had a story like this I want to tell you guys. So important. I want to tell you guys this last time. And uh It's pretty funny story at least, but it's it's MS. I was at the at the hotel one time. And uh there was a there was a young kid who came over to me. He had like, you know, white knitted keeper. I think he had some jeans on. You know, he went to the smog. It it very, very sweet looking guy. Came over to me and he said to me, you know, Rabbi Nosson, do you have any eitzot for me? He says, because uh I grew up in a very, very strong Litvish house. And my parents uh not so happy that, you know, ever since I came to Reb Nachman, everybody's screaming on me, you need to learn more, you need to be davening more, what's going to be with your learning, what's going to be with the Gemara, what's going to be with you, you know? And he said that he was getting a lot of things from other people that in his family they were pushing him more and saying like, you know, uh uh So he said, do you have any advice for him? I don't think he wanted my advice. I don't think he wanted my advice. You know, my advice was to give him a blessing. I told him, Rabbi Nosson, when Rabbi Nosson seen uh all the people who were coming back from Reb Nachman for the first time, you remember Rabbi Nosson and Rabbi Naftali were in Numerov. They're hearing about the tzaddik Rabbi Nachman, you know, coming in to the adjacent city over there that was somewhere in the area, and they and they start to say, I want to go see him. Why? Because everybody who comes back from seeing the tzaddik is on fire. Their learning is a different learning, their davening is a different davening, and Rabbi Nosson couldn't hold himself. He was already by the Kedushas Levi by the time of Chamas Tzaddikim, but he never seen people come back from an individual so on fire that he had to run to go and see the tzaddik. So later on in Chaim in in the Chaim Aaron Not, I think it was it was a sefer of Rabbi David Orbach who was the who was the um who was the grand uh the the father-in-law of Rabbi Nosson. So, at some point, Rabbi Nosson's wife wanted to divorce him. The guy's never here. He's by Reb Nachman every 5 seconds. He's he's gone, he's in, he's out, whatever the case is. So she had a complaint on why she was very upset with Rabbi Nosson. So her father, who was a Misnaged, came to come visit them. And by the time he gets there, Rabbi Nosson isn't there. So it's already telling, right? So she says to him that he wanted a divorce, whatever the support is. And he says to her, "Why? What happened?" He says since he became a chassid, she don't want to be involved with the guy anymore. He says, "What happened? Did he stop learning? Did he stop davening? Did he what?" She said, "No, more. Everything is more. It's more chassidus. He's davening more, learning more." So, what's the true evidence that a person came to Reb Nachman? They do more. It's Do you understand what I'm saying? The the the fire that Reb Nachman gives a person turns the person on. It's a different type of limud, a different type of davening. That's the evidence when the person's been able to come into the aish Reb Nachman. Not that we do less. Not all of a sudden we go we we do less. Now now we're in chill mode. No. So, you're talking about the kid that that if he's getting these complaints then he wasn't really coming to Reb Nachman fully. I didn't say it like that, you know, that's the way other people would say. But the emphasis is that the the evidence that you've come to Reb Nachman is more. That's all That's what we have. This is what it is. He's doing it wrong cuz then he wasn't having shalom bayis. Huh? He was effectively shalom bayis in pieces. Definitely was a shalom a shalom bayis. But on chiddushim, we don't know what the cheshbon and other things and all that. Reb Nosson was a Reb Nosson was was was devoted to Reb Nachman. I I did hear one time in the shiur where he made a joke, but I did hear one time in the shiur by uh uh by Reb Nachman. I don't know if I I would say I don't know if I should repeat it because it's such a funny joke. But it was being it was being broadcast. So, I I for sure know I can say it over again cuz he said it in front of everybody. So, when he brought up the story of Reb Nachman and his wife and how upset she was, you know, at the time he was, you know, eventually she came to peace. But uh Reb Nachman he wrote he said he said Reb Nachman needed to garden of peace. He needed begina shalom. He said he wasn't able to bring it down yet, you know, in those generations. He had to wait till Reb Nachman came, you know, to bring in the shalom. But he he was making a joke. It's funny. Eventually, for whatever reason, that was a part of this tikkun. We should never look to endure and to take on those type of those type of tikkunim. Not personally, at least. Okay. So, we stopped at page 25. And so, it says at the beginning up here, it says to rely on Hashem. So, Rabbeinu says, he brings the Sefer Torah that it's very good for a person to rely on Hashem completely. As the day begins, you entrust your every movement and those of all who depend on you into God's hands, asking that everything should go according to his will. So, this is a way of a person, you know, the emphasis is that this is true anyway. Whether a person says it or he doesn't say it or anything, Hashem is already been been running the world. Hashem is running the world and everything else. This is a What is the Rabbeinu saying over here? That a person is declaring why? Because the second part, he says, you will then not need to worry about whether or not things are going as they should because you are relying on Hashem. A person's bitachon Hashem, he's putting his trust in Hashem and he's relying on him. And if he wants to he wants things to go differently from the way that you may wish, you will be willing to accept everything the way that he wants. Making this declaration, in other words, it's not now all of a sudden now because you said it, now it's happening. The emphasis is Hashem is already running the world. But, Rabbeinu wants us to live by a way where we recognize hashgacha. That a person brings and invites hashgacha into his world into the into the degree where a person understands that is Hashem running the world anyway? Absolutely. But, there's a certain inyan to the to the degree that a person trusts in Hashem and entrust things into Hashem is the amount that Hashem is going to be active involved in that person's life. And not that Hashem won't be involved in a person's not, but what happens is there's certain of these there's a certain way that a person would be able to see that Hashem is actually active in his life as opposed to a person who doesn't see it because they're not making a declaration that they're not living in such a way where they're inviting Hashkafa into their life. So, famous sipur inside of also in the book of Kings. I love Elisha. Elisha Navi was mamash pishnel Eliyahu Navi, you know, it was wasn't something small. So, there's a sipur of Elisha Navi made I think it was at the time Ahab very very upset. It was the melech of the north. It made him extremely extremely angry. Ahab is the king? He was a king of the north of the upper ten tribes. This is after the the tribes had split after Hamelech obviously was one of the punishments, but because Hashem loved Hamelech that he he didn't want to divide the kingdom during his time. So, he split the kingdom and we have the upper ten tribes and we had Yehuda and Binyamin in the south and you know, Kohanim were spread spread amongst them. Anyway, so later on by the time of Elisha Navi I think the story was can't remember exactly what the sipur what it was before that led to this. I know it is just slipping my mind. Anyway, he angered the king. And so at this point the king is sending now people to basically come and harm him to his house. And he is a guy by and he starts to see that this whole entire cavalry is on its way to you know, for this one Navi. You know what I'm saying? What I'm saying? For this one Navi. So, what is he thinking? He's he's panicking. He's like he's so afraid. And he goes over to Elisha Navi and he says to him he says, "My master, you know, you see all these all these armies all these armies." So, Elisha Navi looks at him and then he davens to Hashem right there on the spot and he prays to Hashem, "Open his eyes so that he should see." Mhm? He says, "Open his eyes." eyes. The guy's eyes. Maybe it's Gehazi or one of the other attendants. It could have been after Gehazi. It was the it was this guy by at the time. He said, "Open his eyes so he can see." Right? He opens his eyes, and what does he see? He sees legions of angels, malachim. The warriors of Hashem, the army of Hashem surrounding Elisha Hanavi. Without this, he couldn't see. It's in the book of Kings. You look inside Melachim. I'll find I'll get you the source right after. And his eyes are open, and all of a sudden, he sees there's nothing to be afraid of. There are thousand infinite more thousands of of malachim surrounding, ready to fight on Elisha's behalf, than there is with these guys. You understand? So, there's such a thing, the armies of heaven, but he couldn't see. Mhm. It doesn't mean that Hashem wasn't sending the protection. Hashem wasn't sending sending the yeshua, right? We just couldn't see. That's the whole inyan of a Who knows that if a person lives with hashgacha with Hashem, like with Rabbeinu Asher over here, saying wake up and already put it in Hashem's hands. From the moment that you that you wake up, already make a declaration. What's the real declaration? Is that I'm going to live my life in a way of hashgacha. I'm going to see. Rabbeinu Asher also said he said when a person sees anything that happens in the world, he needs to make a point of connecting it back to Hashem. Looking at the miracle in the situation and doing the opposite of what the apikorsim do. So, the apikorsim do as Rabbeinu Asher says. It says Mashiach doesn't come until all these apikorsim, they do the opposite. Everything that there's something that's lamala min teva, some miracle, they're trying to find the science behind it. They're trying to find the the biology, something behind it. Rabbeinu Asher says we go the opposite way. Anything that happens in the world, we're looking for the hashgacha. We're going out of our way to look for the hashgacha in the situation. Hashgacha pratit. Uh divine providence. The divine providence. We're looking for the divine providence in this situation. Yes, if I say something that we uh that goes over our head or you don't understand, please let me know. So, living a life of struggle, knowing that Hashem is with me, Hashem even though I can't see, know that this is crazy story, right? Thousands of angels. Thousands of angels by him. I mean, we saw a very similar thing also to a with uh Bilam. So, the same thing. He didn't see. The donkey saw, but he didn't see that. Wait, you know how many of my madrigas would see that? The donkey saw, he didn't see. You understand? The donkey saw, he didn't see. He wasn't on a madriga, you know? What is that? So, but he sees this standing there with the sword. They said, "Wait, there's such a thing." And Hashem, you see over over and over again that there's such a thing of of the of the of the chayalim shamayim because Hashem is telling us one of the things that Hashem keeps warning us against, not to worship the armies of heaven, not to worship the armies cuz you you see that something of godliness that that that's great and huge, and a person thinks, "Oh, I'll serve that." Hashem saying, "No, you serve Hashem." So, Hashem wants to. So, next thing is he says that when you have faith, emunah, so the next next section, he says, "If you have faith, you're truly alive." A person is chai, is living his fears. He says, "When you have faith, a person has emunah, every day is filled with good for the person. But when things go well, it's certainly good. But if things don't go if things go wrong and you suffer, this is also good. Cuz a person has emunah, he believes in Hashem, then he knows already that everything Hashem is doing for me is for the good. No matter whether I understand it, I don't understand it, whether if it seems bad to me or seems seems worse than what it possibly could be, I know that Hashem is in control and I have emunah, so therefore So, so what is it called when someone has faith that's not based on truth? Like a like a limited belief, right? Someone believes they are a failure, they're worthless, or or for example, like the inner belief I'm working through is that that that I'm a failure. That's something that I'm I'm working through. That's not based on That's not That's not true, right? So, it's not based on truth. So, what if it's not called emunah, what would the term be? It's Cuz it's it's called an incomplete emunah. So, it's So, it's a blamable Still emunah, but it's blemished. Right. Absolutely. Very, very good. So, he says over here for you trust that God will have mercy on you and will eventually send you good. Everything must be good because everything comes from Hashem. So, we know that Hashem is good. Like it's just a This is simple math, right? Mhm. It's simple math. It's really what it is. You know, all things Hashem equal good, you know? So, therefore, you know, that means that any tzara, person that's efes, you know what I'm saying? As Hashem, which is a definite number, and whatever tzara, whatever may be looking like it's going on, you know, even the good sometimes is also efes. It's efes. Anything plus Hashem equals good. Understand? Mhm. So, but because a person has emunah, he has Hashem, so it all all all the time is going to good going to be good. He says, "But a person who lacks emunah is not truly alive. This person is not truly living." He says, "Because as soon as something bad happens, he gives up all of his hope. And he has no way to comfort himself. Nothing's going to give him any comfort because having no faith, he has placed himself outside of Hashem's such gafa. He's outside of Hashem's providence. And therefore, for him, there is no good at all. Now, we know, like we just said, Hashem is always running the world, no matter what the person is, but the person becomes blind. So, like we understand that Hashem runs the world meter connected meter, the way we are with him, the way that he is with us, right? And this works in all things. If a person's moser nefesh, then the person's open to the miracles. He's open to be saved in a way that's because he went against his devil. And then another way is on the flip side, the person goes deeply into his devil into the into that. That means that the person's dealing with the world in the way of devil. So that means that he eliminates the ability to be able to be open to see the miracles because he's involved in the world and Hashem treats the person the same way he is. You pretend I'm not here, I'm also going to pretend I'm not here. You understand? So for that person he falls outside of the providence of Hashem and therefore him there is no good at all. It's just like the the famous quote Hashem says that you know, him and the arrogant person person the Bal Gaiva Hashem and him can't exist in the same place at the same time. What's the truth? The guy is here. Is it really a reality? What is the reality? It's a story about already. As a from the person who already says that he's he he exists he doesn't really exist cuz there's no existence ain't nothing but there's nothing but Hashem. So if there's only Hashem, the person only has an existence if he's with Hashem. Once he falls outside of being with Hashem, he has no real existence. It's not the truth that he's that he's existing. It's then because Hashem is all. So if a person knows that by having a moon if he knows that Hashem is there Hashem is with him in the everything is for the good then he's alive. A person that doesn't know these things then it's as if he's not existing at the time because he's not he's not double to Hashem. It's a deep concept but the idea here is that the person falls out of being able to see out of Hashem in his life he has no hope. He finds himself in a place of lack of faith and it's very very dangerous for the person. He says if you have a moon you you will have a good and beautiful life. Can can atheist be happy? It's a trick question. What's what's what's happiness? I'm saying it depends on what the depends on what we define as happiness. How do you define it? Right. So, true true simple true simple can't necessarily be can't necessarily be anything I don't have anything on me. Oh, sorry. True simple Are you sure about that? Uh The part The part of oneness Amen. The part of oneness Amen. It's right. So, this is true simple in itself has nothing to do with anything external. True simple like with many teachers is a internal thing. A person can go from from sadness, depression, outs with to true simple in a in a moment, right? So, simple is is something brought about the elation of what's really happening to a person is the is the is the catcher and connection that the person has with this actual show when everything's elevated to a show and it's brought back to its place by Hashem. That's why there's no real no real gratification, no real see poop like what it is when a person has a hair gush and they feel the closeness of Hashem. Hair gush is a sensitivity of feeling of the the catcher of Hashem. Now, our catcher with Hashem is not the hair gush. It's just indicative of the catcher of Hashem that we have with Hashem. Is it real and moving to the crib? The real and moving simple yes, so bound up together like we just said because So, that is the question by default thing what he asked before okay, did he have to automatically know he can't. Huh? So, yeah, I do I want to work it out with him. I just was trying to work it out with him. We're going long division over here. Right. Breaking it down. we're breaking it down. Breaking it down. Breaking it down. No no because it's it's a real question because we have to ask the the the next question is what what is it that they are getting when they do have simple when they do call what they call joy, what what is that? Where is it coming from? You know? Huh? Yes, so experience pleasure and joy like temporarily but that's just like you know internal um happiness like we can't have that. I think it's it's because you know these two words are connected to it really one Taiwan table. People that live is ball ball eight but they receive their pleasure from things that are of the table which is very temporary and so it's not a real joy. It's something that fades, it passes away. It's an external thing. By real simple, this has nothing to do with anything that's that's here. The person that has a moon automatically is going to come to simple when he has a moon of shlema. The moon of shlema is a real moon because they're connected to a shlem. So it doesn't matter where the person is particularly in their life at that time, they can have they can be the simple at any moment. Right. You know? So. I asked kind of similar question last week. Mhm. You're saying that like when one has a moon, Mhm. you can you can kind of go below the moon of table. Mhm. But at the same time I I kind of cautious again like with the vote of like let's say of Nate's. You know like I have a moon that eventually I can get there. Right. But but does that mean I should just all of a sudden start like cutting back on sleep a lot and just waking up super early and just pushing myself saying no no no I can go below the moon of table. I just if just if I believe cuz it's it's it's a tough tug of war. No no no. So there's a few different things. So I'll tell you what the cut moon in Breslov would say. Okay. I've also had to like I said spend a lot of time with with Nachman and everything I could squeeze out of him I squ- I squeezed out of him and other people. But but and he would tell me also to say you know I think it was Rob Rob Nachman Shapiro. So it's getting on later. Um I think Rob Nachman Shapiro it could have been him or Rob um Rob Nachman could have been both of them. But I remember the mahalic was back then. Remember him saying that waking up early starts with going to sleep early. That's where it starts. Yeah. These guys were not up there hanging out. They were not at that you know the Hamas bakery. You know what I'm saying late at night. Like you know the camera doing. You know I think they just started shutting it down. They were not hanging out in the Hamas bakery you know 10:00 and I have to say that No sugar in the Yeah. Just just wasn't happening. Just wasn't happening. You know. There was one of the old Breslovers I think it was Siach Sorfim Kodesh. I said that he would after after davening Maariv he would immediately my brother-in-law told me this. We laughed about it the first time. I saw it in the side but only after he told me about it. That that he he would immediately after saying Shema and davening Maariv or whatever he'd go home. He wouldn't talk to his wife or anything like that. He'd go to sleep because he's he's already saying that he's already he's already said bedtime Shema already. So Krias Shema al Hamita. So now he can't talk afterwards. So he can't turn on the light. He's got to sleep. Got to be up for Krias Shema already. So you know that's that's one Mahalak. I don't say I don't recommend doing that at home. But but it starts with going to sleep early. You'll see that the real Baal Avodah I'm Zocheh to to to have a shul that I'm that I'm involved with and I that I'm that I I'm in. I have a few different places but this is like like my main place that I've been for the last few years. Whatever Krias Shema al Hamita. So guys get up at 2:00 in the morning. These are not the guys that go into sleep at 11:00, 12:00, 1:00, 2:00 in the morning. You know what I'm saying? They're they're waking up at 2:00 in the morning. So that means that they were most in Naflish not to go to all the Chasanas, not to go to all the Barmitzvahs, not to go to all the You understand? It's being most in Naflish. So that's the beginning of that. So that's the practical steps. Like being honest with ourselves. Like you know I need X amount of sleep in order for me to get up and to make it for Nates, you know? So This is not only This is not only in Torah and in Shamash and in life. In life. When when you have a business and you have sales, you have to have the discipline to do that as well. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's a discipline thing of going to bed on time. Okay. So, yeah. That That's That's what Reb Nachman would say. It's not be up after a certain hour of the night. That's the concept of Nachman of the street Yeah. It's also like external. It's also external. Absolutely. Let's go out to the street then. But that's But that's something we do externally. This is so which is a concept that Reb Nachman brings in order to bring yourself to to Simcha is to do silly things, all right? I was told by by by one of the Tzadikim in Breslov is does not mean to do this stuff in public. He said, "Don't do this stuff in public so people think you're a meshuggener and then you know you tell them it's merely the street." He said, "You know, cheer yourself up with these things. Tell yourself jokes alone, but don't start walking talking to yourself jumping you know." I don't know I was told that you should try to do this stuff privately. Try Try to do things to cheer yourself up. Make yourself happy, you know? That it's so important for a person to understand that this is a call from Reb Nachman who's telling us to use something external to turn on your internal. Mhm. But the ultimate goal is that I'm turning on the internal Simcha. So, one time this brother from Nachman he was so depressed after all of his Nachman stuff. He was like He was so heavy. Reb Nachman said he could barely daven. That's how heavy he was. All there was so much much Nachman stuff against him and against you know against Breslov at the time. And it was very very heavy on him that he said it was like Mom so hard just to put on his tefillin. He felt the weight of everything on him. Until he started to make himself be Simcha. And he said to start thinking, "Hashem is here." And if Hashem is here there's what to be be simple about there's what to be happy about. And slowly but surely you know saying certain things and thinking certain things that eventually helped him to have a moon and and I share and help them to have come to simple. I'm going to ask you have a question on the on the silly things just understand but I heard I don't know I remember years ago I heard a story of Nachman was traveling even in Israel or something and he did after did silly things in public. Yeah, yeah, that's right. So is this like I guess I guess is it up to interpretation as to whether it should be in public or not? No, that's that's somewhat of a different thing. Rebbe Nachman wasn't doing merely the truth at that point I think to make himself but simple. What was particularly going on when he was on on his way by Turkey he was on his way to Israel for the first time Rebbe Nachman brought that in order for him to make it there he had to lower himself in order for him to make it so to some degree Rebbe Nachman brought certain things upon himself so that they wouldn't come from outside external things to stop him from going there. The Ba'al Shem never made it there were so many different bigger tzaddikim our previous tzaddikim I won't say bigger but that went that tried to make the pilgrimage to Israel and they weren't able to. So what did Rebbe Nachman say that he had over his great grandfather Ba'al Shem Tov is that they couldn't lower themselves. They went as the tzaddikim they were people knew who they were it was revealed you know it wasn't like Rebbe Nachman hid himself they had no idea who he was he acted like he was some meshuggener he was changing his you know who he was every day they asked him he said he was a different person and that so they couldn't and every once in a while they'll see some spark of greatness and say hold on who's this guy and then he'll come back and act like a clown again. Rebbe Nachman said that he he did this purposely and he did it so much that he said it was hard to pull himself out of the joking thing afterwards cuz he had done done it for so long while he was on this trip. But the idea Rebbe Nachman had at that time wasn't just to to make himself like but simple it wasn't merely the truth he was trying to lower himself to where basically he brought on himself all the afflictions that he was getting from these guys to where in Shamayim he was already getting the name No, no, nothing could stop him at that point. If he can make himself low, he'll make it to Eretz Yisrael. But if he goes as Rav Nachman all that, then everything all the world would unite against him being able to make it to Eretz Yisrael. So, that was the idea there. Thank you. Yeah. Also, don't try that at home. Yeah. You know you madregah, I can't tell you, but I I tell you I I wouldn't try it at home. So, this the next part we would we're just speaking about this. He says over here, "Faith in yourself, that you must have faith in yourself. You must have emunah in yourself." You must You must have enough emunah in Hashem's goodness to believe that you are important to him. Mhm. A person has to believe that you are important to Hashem. To Hashem. Hashem is head uh over the hills in love with every single one of us. And Hashem wants us to know that it's as if a person's relationship with Hashem has to be on such a level that you're like the only kid. I tell Hashem all the time I am able to do this. I say, "Hashem, I'm not really interested in sharing you with other people right now." No. I tell Hashem. Person has to look at himself almost like he's he's Hashem's only child. And when a person is like that, then a person feels a proper sense of entitlement, not entitlement in the sense of a negative way. And it feels like, "Okay, Hashem's going to come through for me. He's going to do for me because I'm his only child." It says some people didn't suffer opposition only because they did not think themselves worthy not to suffer my opposition. So, is he Did he not have faith in himself? No. No. No. No. I'll tell you exactly why. I'll tell you exactly why. So, let's go through it slowly. So, it says, "So great is God's goodness to each and every person is great and important in his in his own in his eyes." So, being humble does not mean that you put yourself in the state of constricted consciousness. It's mostly the the cutness. Rav Nachman brings in Chaim Vital on himself that he said that he you know, he was the most humble one in the generation at the time. Sounds very silly. Most people go like, "Oh, that sounds amazing." We play around like that a lot. You know, I'm really a humble guy, you know, I just want everybody in here to know how humble I am. But what by Rabbeinu he says that the the real peak of humility is when person can write on himself he's humble like Moshe Rabbeinu. Moshe Rabbeinu had to write that Moshe Rabbeinu was the most humble person that ever lived. When you can do that with a straight face, you know you know that you're on a you're on another madregah. And at the same time not removing from yourself your godliness. So he says, "Constantly ask Hashem to bring you to true humility and to have faith in yourself." These two things go together. It's not that these are you know, one thing or or another. When Rab Nosson one time Rab Nosson said to him, he said to him that you don't have emunah. Rab Nosson looked at him and said, "What do you mean I don't have emunah?" I'm a mom. He says he says he says, "No, Hashem you believe in. He said in yourself you don't believe in." Right? So it it was a it was a thing for even Rab Nosson to even know that he had a godliness that Rabbeinu was trying to bring him to. And he couldn't even understand or understand why. One time he was really distraught. He looked around. Rab Nosson himself looked at other people that he knew in that generation who were talmidim of Rabbeinu and said that this one's bigger than me, that one's bigger than me. This person is a big tzaddik going to have and he's trying to figure out why did Rabbeinu choose me? Why did Hashem choose me for such a mission or whatever? And Rab Rab Nosson looked at him and says, "You're not allowed to ask." You're not allowed to ask such a question. You're not allowed to ask. You have we have no idea what it is and who Hashem's going to bring the Geulah through. Oh, in you know Mashiach I'm I'm convinced just from everything that we have that by the time Mashiach is going to be revealed, it has to be cuz it comes out from pasuk in the Navi that the whole world's going to be shocked, right? That's how you know the Christians are wrong. That's how you know the Lubavitcher Rebbe. I love every single one of them, but the the klal is the whole world has to be shocked by who it is, right? So, nobody gets to go and say, "Oh, I know I knew it." You know what I'm saying? Right. Moshiach himself may be a shock, right? You understand that the Geulah may have What if it was like a janitor at like, you know what I'm saying? At a Yeshiva. You have no idea who Hashem's going to bring the Geulah through, why it's going to be that person, and what the godliness of each and every person is. Why? Because we look on the outside like when uh when uh when uh Shmuel Hanavi goes to anoint the king, he goes to to the house of Yishai, right? He's got the brothers, right? He could choose any of these guys. Outside, they all look like, you know, each each each one of them. But, it's Dovid Hamelech, the guy that we didn't even think about. Like, that's the guy out of all of He's the one. He was outside with the sheep. He was outside with the sheep. He was He was doing He was doing He was doing He was out there talking to Hashem. No, I want the guy who's got the knives and you know, he's uh the butcher. Maybe the butcher's the the guy, you know? But, we we don't know. we would be shocked? Huh? What's the source? it's in Yeshayahu. I'll find it. I'll I'll give it to you. Yeah. There's an actual possuk, yeah. The world will be shocked when the when the when the servant of Hashem is revealed. Absolutely. I'll I'll get you the source. So, so we know that such a thing has to has to happen that we don't know who the Geulah is going to come through, and we don't know even us. If we look at our generation compared to other generations, is there anybody that's worthy? If you look at the the generations of Rabbeinu of of the Baal Shem and all you think of all the tzaddikim that came before, they were much more worthy than we're worthy. But, the Geulah is going to happen in our times, thanks to Hashem. Or even And if it goes on any longer than us, I mean, come on. We can see that we're we're not feeling worthy about ourselves. Hashem says, Rebbeinu tells us, you need to have emunah in yourself. You need to believe in yourself. And he says right here, some tzaddikim, what you what you brought, suffer opposition only because they do not have faith in themselves because they don't have a moment in themselves. So it may look brought even and look at the tomorrow look at the Torah So it's also brought me Mishnah Nefesh. I think I think it's Torah Cafe. I can't remember what it is. That there are even if anybody knows you can correct me. There are even people he said to be king on chain one on chain Forget the exact motion. to be king And people people that are bothering voter he says they confuse themselves that they think that once they've gone up to the to to the next level they think they really had in the feeling. They think that they are experiencing the feeling at this time and he's saying these are not just small people these are big people they they feel that they fell. They feel like they had a falling in there in terms of the relationship with the Shem and the voter. And really Rebbe Nachman says it's not in the feeling you're just at the bottom of the next level and you being at the bottom of that next level you think that you had but you have to break things brand new on this next level you know it's like the the video games you know. It doesn't it doesn't really change you know I used I didn't play all these silly games that I used to play John Madden you know that was my that was my game of choice. I was a football guy I loved football and whatever so the difference between between playing the game on rookie which are the people still do that. I seen a guy one time I don't really beat the route but I just wanted to say to all of us that you know you need to be doing something with your life if you're playing video games at 50 60 years old playing NFL Madden still on rookie. I came into I came into I came into a room one time guy was playing the game on rookie. He was beating the game 82 to 6. And I'm trying to figure out what is he getting what joy and pleasure is he getting out of the game and he's 60 years old and he's playing like he's playing on rookie. Guys, it's time to move up. It's nothing on rookie. It's 200 to nothing. You get that old playing that well again. We're not on your madrigal. We're not on your madrigal, okay? He was He was only up to 82 points. I don't know how he got there. But But you understand, it's time to move up. It's time to go up a a few madrigal. So, but when you play by the time you get to pro or you get to all pro, whatever, you you have to know more than what a person has on on rookie. You need to know how to switch from your player to the player who's catching catching it. You need to know how to tackle, but be the guy that also moves over here. You know how to shift your defense and all that. You need to know a whole lot more. But it's still the same game. Ultimately, on the computer, it's still really the same game. So, the same thing with the with the vote of the sham, when a person when it's time to move up a level on a person who's done enough to get to the next level, he thinks, right? And what what what the banishment is even happened by tzaddikim, they think that they had a nefilah, but you didn't have a nefilah. You're just on the bottom the tach toni, and you're on the bottom level of the next madrigal up. So, now you have to break everything on that level. You broke it down here. Good. Shkoyach. It's in the bag. But now the next level. So, a lot of people confuse themselves and they suffer because of this. So, in this particular case, like move levels of difficulty in a video game. Uh-huh. In a way like Rav Kook once explained this concept and he said you're not falling down, you're falling up. Right. like level 10, Mhm. A B C D E F G all through the letters of the alphabet, Z, then you go to 11 A. Right. So, it feels like you fell cuz you're back to A, but you really are another level. It's the next level. Right. Absolutely. It's the next level. So, he says there's some tzaddikim they suffer opposition only because they don't have emunah in themselves. So, he's saying that also here in the same in the same case of not only just in a person suffering the inner opposition that they're receiving, that these things happen in the spiritual sense, where a person begins to feel plagued, to feel that he fell and then he ended feeling these actually manifest themselves into physical opposition from the other side, from other people, other tzaddikim, because the person doesn't have that moon in themselves, that really know, I'm up at this point, I'm not down. You know, I don't really myself. I Okay. So, there's a bad way to have a a novel also. There's also a bad anavah, humility, where a person is self-loathing, they never think that they're really actually on the madrega. A person he has to understand the madrega that he's on, right? We we have to first make an acknowledgement of the fact that, okay, I have accomplished certain things in the world of Hashem. There is a reason why Hashem wants you to be and and no and at some point is this good for a person to always feel like, you know, maybe maybe I'm not there yet. That that little bit of doubt is probably a good humility, but a person needs to be able to observe and to spend enough time with Hashem and is built as to really clarify the path forward. It says, Hashem, well, at least even if I don't feel I'm worthy, Hashem, you want me here, so I'm going to go with confidence. I'm not confident in myself, I'm confident that Hashem is with me, right? It's a proper confidence to have. I'm at least confident that Hashem is with me. Maybe I I I don't feel like I'm worthy, but if Hashem has put me in this situation, then I must be worthy. So, at least if I can't, you know, like Rebbeinu says, he says, if if if you don't if you don't believe in Hashem, at least believe in me, I believe in Hashem, you know what I'm saying? You get the idea what I mean. You can at least say, "I'm not worthy to believe in Hashem, so I believe in Hashem." Right? So, if you don't got enough to pull you over the over the hump. What what about the How do you know if you're falling down or falling up? Cuz how do you know if if this feeling is actual reality or just my perception of reality? So, the the thing is is that it's very very hard to tell. This is why Rebbeinu says that it even happens to some tzaddik. Mhm. So, so the the the real I think litmus test is I heard one time like this. I don't know if it's the just like this or this simple as that a person first off you know what I'm not going to go too deeper here but the truth is is that when a person lives a life of a misboded a person that lives their life talking to Hashem and living with Hashem you talk to Hashem you you the Hashkafa and the way that life moves for that individual is completely different than another person. Because a person is living with Hashem so they have a different type of Hashkafa they have a different answer So once they start to experience the feeler and once they start to experience the fact that they've really gone up to that level they they can ask themselves a few honest questions and because they're used to talking to Hashem and by this point they've come to a certain level of honesty which most people don't I'm being honest but at the beginning of the talking to Hashem they're very dishonest and not they're not honest with themselves because there's still certain things about themselves they're uncomfortable with revealing to themselves that this is how I really feel about certain things right? So but once a person has come to a level of certain honesty then they'll be able to be honest with themselves now did this happen because of X or did this you know? One of the limit says is if you keep searching for a while you have to the feeler and you can't figure out what one action you did one thing that you did could be a sign you just really went up to the next level and you didn't really actually have a feeler. Other thing could happen if you could find a thousand things wrong that you did you understand what I'm saying? We would at least take the the the the blame say Hashem you know what maybe it's because of this it could be because of that it could be because of this it could be because of that but a person is not meyaish ain't you meyaish we don't we don't throw ourselves out because of that at that point we start diving into Hashem to be able to correct whatever it is that we have. Now the truth is Rebbe Nachman reveals to us that our path forward is just the same way as the Tzaddikim is the Chuvah on Chuvah. So we should already be making Chuvah a major part of our life anyway. As we should be be living his life in Chuvah that meaning that in in the midst of a person who's voted this that they're always mention it to Hashem the things that they did wrong, the things that they weren't sure about, thoughts that they had. A person has to be living with this. But I think in time inside of the of the of the hisbodedus, a person starts to evaluate and he looks at himself and says, "Wow, maybe maybe because this is why it's important. And I'll tell you why it's important for you to be having this conversation with Hashem very regularly. It's because going up to the next madrega and being on that tahtona on the bottom of the next madrega and not interpreting it right could cause an efela. You understand what I'm saying? It could cause an efela itself because the person starts to think that oh, wow, like he said specifically, I made it to such a level and now I'm having all these thoughts on snus and all these other things. I've been clean. I've been clean for so long. I've been doing good for so long and I was I was doing all right, you know, now I'm having I'm I'm suffering from these things. Oh, maybe I didn't really accomplish anything in the avodas Hashem. Maybe I really maybe it wasn't all true. Maybe the you know, the honeymoon's over and this is who I really am. But you understand you understand what I'm saying? How it could be. But really I'm on the next level and really you did break those things. But now you get a new batch cuz you're on the bottom you're on the bottom of the next level and now you have to do avodas to break it on that level. So So you mean you could have only gotten to the next level with that fall or through that Oh, absolutely. Yes. Through that avoda. Absolutely. You have you have to have it. It brings specifically when he when he talks about it over here, one of my favorite torahs. I just went over this with somebody else. The the Rebbeinu brings this on based on Torah Mem Ches Tanino. Let's see over here. Let me find it. Because we need to know the inyan of why. Why why is it that Hashem is doing this thing to me? And that's what's That's the most important. I think it's in Is this the letter? Yes, it was. Huh? It's not the letter. It's in Likutei Halachos. The moment have I'm in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim. Okay, I'm not going to do everything, but I want to get to that that that point cuz it's a very very important nekudah. Sure. What the hell does he think he is? Can we get it in English? Huh? Can we get the English? No, no, no. Okay. Believe it or not, that would slow me down. All right. It's crazy. Check it out. So it's talking about Okay, so one of the things he says that uh this is the way through because His Kitzur Shulchan Aruch We're going to get to that section over here, too. So how important it is for a person to put a section. So it says, "So eekli action about about what is Hashem. I have a place in my in my in my play in my room. I have a My hisbodedus room studios now all one thing, but Rebbeinu was very big that he wanted all his talmidim to have a room only for avodas Hashem." It's a hisbodedus room. We may call it a room that a person goes in that even if he's not speaking to Hashem, he at least establishes one place in the house that's only for you and Hashem, right? And so I have inside of my room this very beginning in tzarich liyos action about about what is Hashem. I have this like I had What's his name? The Jerusalem scribe over the comment. Had him write it for me. I put it right there. I have my shtender with my candles right there. And I I don't need anything else. I don't need a shivisi. I just need to be reminded that I need to be action in the avodas Hashem. Action is a person that's stubborn. You need to be stubborn in the avodas Hashem. I need to I need to pull myself because the goof, the body, everything is it will work overtime, like he says over here, in the same way that the body tries to push a person into his taivas, a person needs to be able to use him use himself and all of the muster all of his strength to pull himself out of it. It takes the same fight. It's the same effort that a person has to put in that you know, it's just the by the goof it's a little bit easier. But really when a person feels and he knows he wants to do the right thing, feel the rage, feel how much the body is pulling him to to to one one of us only way to to be my to to accomplish something, right? Like I think it's a Baal Shem Tov that that the same way it goes in, the same way it goes out. So a person needs to have this fire in order to get the fire out of him, right? So a person needs to be actually need to be stubborn just like the body stubborn with you when it wants to do the wrong thing, right? When you want to do the right thing, the body will stubborn to you, you also be stubborn. Be stubborn to serve Hashem. So a person needs to have this, but he says specifically over here to your point, I really want you to hear this because he says I know this it says that sometimes even as it actually is, but he uses Hashem to become a Torah. So there's going to be times a person is is searching to strengthen himself and is a vote of Hashem and and and and being able to be my kind of Torah, he says he says he's chayaav laavolaav aliyos veyiridos. Chayaav, person has to have ups and he has to have downs. Chayaav, the man who says bring this this must happen to you. Has to happen to a person. We don't want it, but this is the truth. This is I know come upon him. It's going to happen a few times. He says who know fell mean mean mean he saw this. That means that from his fire his relation, whatever he's having in the vote of Hashem and he felt good and I'm doing it whatever it says that there's going to be times you are going to fall from this. And my and my gash and your and your feelings of your simple being being a Jew, whatever the case is, your feelings of being a Jew. Ultimately saying this closeness to Hashem, you will fall out of this feeling. And he says And he says who makes the service and the person is going to many times going to be re-strengthen himself, he's going to be himself, he's going to make himself brand new in this and each person according to his Madrigal the old man alive have been a note. What's going to come over that person is many many many and the person is going to have oppositions and blockages and in that means that also in the spiritual and also in the physical world. That's what we sing over here some and they suffer because they don't have this themselves. They need to know these things. They need to have that that the shame is with me holding me even during the time of the contest I'm down and I'm low. At this point is still with me. This is the strength that the person gives himself. He says the person needs to know that sometimes at the time meaning that it's from heaven that sending them down. It's not coming down from here. It's not we think all the time we did something. This is what we're doing over here really on top from the top down of the next level. So from sometimes they cut him off. He gets to feel nothing. He gets to feel no he gets to feel nothing. He gets thrown this from shame. I know that this is that a person makes sure that he loses his hair in him and all of his fears and his and his and his and his guide. He says this is in order for a person to to to be and this is the reason why so this is where we're getting to. So big day over here. The reason is because the reason is because he's saying ultimately over here, I want new love. I don't want you getting used to me. So it's very very important for a person to have these ups and downs because once we get used to Hashem in this world I'm saying we get used to to to someone being in our life that really a very important and special person, then a person that point starts to treat him like it's a regular thing. I don't have the same fire. I don't have the same Hashem says I want that new love. I want it to be a new love. And Hashem reminds us of this when he tells Claudia remember you that young maiden and we followed after me in the desert and you went with me. You understand? Hashem is reminding us all the time remember when the love was brand new. Remember when it was brand new. So he sends us to these places to this down place to where we have to be with the only reason I put us through downs is in order to appreciate his the connection to him even better. So good. And and you don't appreciate light unless you're in darkness. So I'm saying that's the only that's really the main reason. It's the main reason. He brings right here. It's one of the reasons. Sometimes a person could do things that causes him to lose his pressure to shame or the or the or the you know, the amount of money It sounds like sometimes it's heaven sent. That's what I'm saying. Sometimes this is heaven sent. He says left for me and shall I for me much like him at the Adam and without the shame in the shamayim. So then sometimes his free will is is is is not within the context where it's not free will for him to sin. Meaning like it's from heaven he's going to sin he doesn't have option not to with the When I'm talking about sin, doesn't mean that a person committed an average. He says specifically what the things are that the person would lose during this time. So some of that is his his service. Meaning that his his How do you say his service in English? His inspiration. Inspiration. Inspiration. Right? Okay. So his inspiration he can lose. His hair can sometimes we have that feeling of that closeness of Hashem we can feel, you know, to some degree that that Hashem is with us. We can feel that kesher to Hashem. So, he will lose this. He will lose his his chiyus in Yiddishkeit. He starts saying things like, "I don't know if I'm really cut out for all of this, you know." So, what happened last week? Last week you wanted to finish off. This week, you know, and the shul he wants to put on his tefillin. What happened? What is that thing that just happened over there? So, sometimes from Shamayim they put a person in such a situation where it feels so distant. I think it's become so heavy. Hashem, what do you mean? I'm putting on my tefillin at 5:00 in the afternoon. I'm trying to hurry up before, you know, shkiah, whatever the case is. Because it was so heavy all day long. But really, these are just it's dimyonos. These are obstacles that are not real, right? That came to the person from Shamayim you know, But even without sinning, it's just the concept of farness from God. Right, right. It's That's That's what it is. It doesn't always mean that a person is We're not talking about So, when a person falls mamash into aveiros and all these other things, we understand that these do bring klipos and kisuyim coverings over the person in being able to feel the light that Hashem is sending towards him. So, it could be done in that way. But specifically, he's talking about even in this case tzaddikim who start to have opposition, which doesn't always mean an outside opposition. Could be the internal opposition, which it later on manifests itself into outside opposition, right? Yes. So, sometimes when when we're not understanding something from Hashem and he's sending us messages internally we're having these conflicts and we we somehow ignore them and keep going. So, sometimes outside we start to feel these things. They start to manifest themselves in forms of machlokes and issues with other people. All of a sudden he's trying to make aliyah, but he can't. Everything's working against him. The Jewish Agency won't let him, you know, make aliyah and all these other things. The opposition that he's that he's feeling and and really seems like some random thing, but Hashem's using all of these things as agents to wake the person up to the fact that, you know, Hashem is with you. I need to have emunah myself. Hashem is with me. And it's a very important hakuda for us to to carry with us. So, does God first send us messages internally and then externally? Or could be either or? It could be It could be either or. You know, we don't always know the way that Hashem is working, but I I I I think that the way we need to see things all the time is that Hashem is first sending me things internally. But usually by the time we didn't get the message with something that's within the vicinity, you know, once you get married, eternally extends to your life. It's also internal. Let's be honest. Sometimes she's the agent that uh you know, who is Hashem's uh you know, shliach to to to bring you back to the emes. It's internal. You're connected. You're one neshama, you know. But uh yeah. Shkoyach, guys. Shkoyach. Okay. Shkoyach, man. Yeah, all right. The last thing I was reading from Eitz Chaim in the world from Shimshon Barsky. And you have the page about emunah in oneself is on It is on page 26. You have Kvod HaKavod. Uh Shema Yisrael. Thank you. That's beautiful. Wow.