Newly Reds Event in Lakewood with Shadchonim

RS is a very simple concept the more the more have a chance to happen the problem is young couples who are a very good source of ideas because the have friends and even older couples never tried read or if they did try read they got shot out of the sky how do you know my child why do you think it's a good idea they get flustered and they just don't want to try to again because the experience was not too nice this idea was that if you don't have the feel you have it inside of you to be able to read that you could hand it off to newly Reds where we have now pretty much all across the United States yeah so uh you know when mayor Le told me about the idea of Reds I I was very very excited um you know it's a obviously a tremendous mitzvah for people to to think of for people it's a you says that when a person comes up after 120 it's one of the first questions that he's asked if you in peria and Mas explains that it means that you in so obviously it's tremendous indan tremendous Mitzvah and for young couples who have each of them have friends that's I think how I got involved I got married young and that's a little bit how I got involved so the it's a beautiful idea and the problem is that young kids feel that no one's going to take him seriously so it's a you know a beautiful thing you know send in your ideas this the newly Reds and have look them over sometimes a couple could think it's a great idea and there might be a reason why they thought like that but it's not going to work for whatever reason so it's it's good that an experienced sh looks it over and decides if it's a good idea or not and if it's a good idea then you know hopefully a sh can pull it through us I think it's a beautiful beautiful idea and hopefully we'll have a lot of as soon as the boy gets it says a yes that's when the bll starts rolling that's when the time clocked okay so the way the system is set up up that uh most of the times the boy gets the name first and as soon as the boy gets says a yes that's when the ball starts rolling that's when the time clock starts cuz the first part of the process is the boy has to say yes in most cases once the boy says yes the best thing is to try as best as you can to put in all the effort you could to try to make the calls try to put aside time you know sometimes I hear from people I can't reach anyone try again leave a message if you can't if you can't reach the reference call ask for more people but I I would say that um you know in most uncomplicated situations with a boy lives in the United States the boy or the girl but here we're talking about the girl so I would say you know try to do it within 3 4 days but if someone needs more time than that that's fine but they should be in touch with the and let them know what's going on and say you know I'm really trying I need more time but the bottom line is once the boy says yet try your best to give an an as soon as you could try to put in the time and the effort to give an answer so it's possible just for the of that the other side should feel good you know someone drags takes seven eight days the other side starts feeling like losing the the boy side is going to start feeling not good about it the reason why we go to the boy first is because whatever the reason is that there's a a a disproportionate amount of dates and the girls get Le less yeses than the boys so if we keep on going to the girls and girls get yeses give yeses and boys give NOS they get burnt out so therefore the safest way is we're doing it sort of to protect you from getting hurt we go to the boy first so it is a little not fear but that is the way it is so I would say 3 four 5 days sometimes it's a little more if it's a little tricky but if you need a little more time just call the sh and just you know be smart tell the sh you need a little extra time and most people understand it the very hard question is balancing the idea of which means that it's totally hasem decides who you're marrying and that's who you're marrying and then there's something called you have to do your effort now it happens to me it's a very big contradiction in you know in the gar talks about it and there's a lot of um contradictions between if it's pure bash and has nothing to do with you or your do I think to make a balance so says that um everyone has their level of and that's the of the Styles they should do if it's regarding health or it's regarding making money there's a lot of people that work a whole day they go 7:00 to work and they work for 12 hours so they have a lower level of and they they they rely more on St so obviously such a person will do more her Styles even though in the big picture which everyone knows comes from you see the so it's definitely a level lower than all other status but because we are not like unbelievable so I think everyone has to do some level of again I don't believe in you know making yourself crazy and and making the whole world crazy and doing things that are extreme because you're nervous or that comes from a lack of so I think you know everyone knows their level of we could speak to your rebi or your Mentor or your parents on what level of stus you are on but you should know that the end result has nothing to do with your EST the end result is and even know everything else in life is also like that but you see it more com so the final answer is there's no specific rule but it is a lower level of esta than all other things really