NEW SERIES Before Prayer - Accept Upon Yourself to Love Your Neighbor with Rabbi Kalman Flaks

Heat. Heat. [Music] All right, my friends. My name is Rafan Flax and I'm very very uh privileged and very excited to start this new together with everybody. I want to thank Yan Varn for the wonderful to learn tour together and Gary Schiff who sponsored this year part of this new series. So here's basically what we're trying to do together every week. Please God to go deep to explore ouras together uh with everyone's input and with the input of our sages to hopefully make artillas great again. And for me in my short life, I found that when I'm studying um in the world of my davening in a different place and when I'm preparing for this year and I'm thinking about the I get really excited to say whatever that I learn that week and the Gmorra teaches us that is something that needs constant. So it doesn't matter if I learn this uh 10 years ago, it won't do anything for my kavana today. I need hopefully every single day, but if every day is not realistic, at least once a week to be learning and and going deeper into and so that's that's the goal together. And of course, all of our tour should be dedicated for the protection of all of Israel, protect all of our and bring all the home and only to see us for all of Israel. Sounds good. Okay, beautiful. I'm going to start with uh one story on a personal note as to why I love teaching about fila. So 18 years ago I'm uh 21 and I was so 17 years ago and I was a red I was a madri at races and a little background when I was in high school I love to learn about fela and the reason was cuz we're domining every day so we might as well know what I'm saying. So I started you know pick picking up all these books that explained dingwabil was my favorite and fel and that was kind of my field of expertise. I loved learning about fela. Okay I'm 21. I'm mad and um this year it was rash shana and I read in one of these farm that there's a big in on rashash shana to cry. You're supposed to cry says the uh I think it was a zohar. So I said how am I going to make myself cry? So before Rashashana, I sat down with a pen and I wrote down everything that I was thankful for. Mish all the amazing things I had in my life that I have a family, that I have a mom, that I have a dad, that I have a right arm and mish went through, I wrote a long list and the end of I went through and just thanked Hashem for uh for everything I had. And um by the end of all my thinking to cry a little bit and really like thank Hashem for uh for for the for all the blessings. Okay. So I finished my doning. Everyone had long you know 15 minutes ago 20 minutes ago went and eaten eating uh their Friday their rashana suda. This is and I got I went to the bathroom. I wiped myself off. I made kdish. I started a meal and my friend Keski wraps comes up to me. this at that time he was a student at uh Ed Racious and he says hey at the time I wasn't Roman I was Keith and said hey Keith you know anything about crying and domining now I I totally dried myself off he couldn't see anything he was you know and I was like why are you asking me about that he's like no I just feel like like I don't know you're the guy to ask so I'm like actually I know yeah so after the meal I brought him up to the basement and I started learning with Keski about the Indian of crying and that carbak teaches that when you cry when you're dabbing your tears don't go down they go up right so beautiful so we keep learning together and then another student his name was Henry Henry after the meal came up and he says hey Keith you know anything about dabbining I really need a book like we have this whole long doin tomorrow I don't know where to start maybe you know something about doining so I was telling you guys that my favorite topic to study since I'm a kid is is davining iso. So I brought him down to the base medish and I said this book maybe in that book maybe this a little more philosophical or maybe a little bit more the finally I find this new book and actually I never read this book before but it's it was called touched by a prayer by uh by RV I'm forgetting he writes a lot of great books on stories he has touched by the by the seder and I open it up randomly I say Henry this is what you should read tomorrow because I know Henry he's a story type of he'll love this type of book. And uh but before we say good night, let's read one story. Maybe there'll be some message for us. Okay. So, I open up the book randomly, which is my favorite way to learn. And this is the story that that Hashem sent me that night. So, there's a yid and he goes to the hotel one night and he's crying. That's that's what I read. I'm like, I can't believe that, you know, like I was crying. He's asking me a crying. I see. And this guy's crying. So, a a guy comes up to him and says, "Listen, I see you're crying. I have a lot of money. What's wrong? I'll bail you out. I'm here to help you. I'm your Messiah." The guy waves him away. He says, "No, no, I don't. It's okay. I don't need it. I appreciate I don't need it." The guy says, "Please, I'm begging you. I want to help you. I see you're crying." So, he says, "You don't understand. I'm not crying tears of pain. I'm crying tears of joy. I came to the Kisel. I just married off my seventh daughter and I wanted to thank Hashem. I'm so thankful. And I was I was uh crying tears of joy. And like I close the book and I just look up to the heavens. I'm like, did that just happen? Like the one night that I was crying tears of joy and that I happened to open up a book and the guy happens to ask me about Davening. It's just like so many so many things. And I I just remember that story for me. What what what I was there was many things I took out of that that that that night, but the main thing I was um I took out of it is that like when you're learning about dabing like Hashem's right there like he sees you're you're making the effort to dab with kavana. You're taking that extra time to learn and he's like so like wants to help you connect to in that way. At least that was that was what I took out of that night. So I wanted to share that story to kind of begin our adventure together. And uh with further ado, let's begin. You guys ready? Okay. So the Arizal right or you even see his you get a littleat vibes can see his holy sh ashkenazi arizul and the ha most amazing capitalist 16th century rebi who changed all of Israel. It tells us how we need to prepare for dav before we do anything else. The result says Don't start ding before you start ding you have to do one thing. You have to take upon yourself only when you take upon yourself the mitzvah of loving one's fellow Jew then I can open up the s then I can start my then I can start my then I can you know start saying but until I don't take upon myself it's not the same you have to love every Jew like your own soul and through this all of our prayers will be raised to the highest heights by taking upon ourselves to love every Jew will raise to a much higher level right and many people sing the song and if you guys know I the same songs I know I do it's the uncle version everybody you know it's all Good. But uh that's what the says you have to take upon yourself to love your fellow Jew before you den. So I want to ask you guys very nice to love one's fellow Jew. It's a great mitzvah. Makes us all feel nice and gooey inside. But what does it have to do with davening? They seem to be kind of two separate matters. One is nice to love my fellow Jew. But uh why is Aizel telling us that only by loving one's fellow Jew can we get our feelas accepted in the heavenly realms? So the truth is I prepared a few answers but most important is I'm curious what do you guys think what what what is the connection between and yeah by being grateful to others of what they do to us we can learn how to be grateful to to Hashem oh what's your name again so is we write this down saying that it's about gratitude in other By opening ourselves up to see the good and to be grateful for other people, that's also going to open ourselves up to see the kindnesses that Hashem is giving to us. Beautiful. We'll get back to that answer says something uh a little similar. Beautiful. Any other thoughts, ideas? What's the connection specifically between davening and the after? Well, to just to go back a step, does it translate to to love a fellow Jew? It says to love looking after shephering a fellow Jew. Is that not true? Is that true or not true? So you're saying love looking after another Jew. So in the sense of like to shepherd right here. So it's a beautiful dasha. I think in the simplest sense means to your friend, right? But maybe on a little bit more profound level, you're saying it's to shepherd the other, to love the act of taking care of another Jew. Well, I'm asking you. I like it. Truth is, I never heard that before. Love it. It's much it's a it's a it's a fiduciary relationship. You have an obligation to look after the other your So, you're saying it's not just about love. It's about bringing that la love into action in a real tangible type of way together. Beautiful. Okay. So, we're going to have to go deeper into what exactly is I don't know if we can cover it in one uh one 45 minute session, but uh definitely we'll keep that in mind. How do we practically take and bring that into the world? We'll definitely touch upon that. Beautiful. Yeah. give me an idea. I mean this obviously takes place even when you dab in alone but the concept of bits I don't know how to translate does it mean group prayer or a prayer group I'm not sure there's major difference but it's you're not alone in your prayers when you come to a shul and you're part of a minion there's a quantum I don't know what to call it a quality leap once you're among amongst that if you have god forbid any harboring any any um it's a minia it could be god forbid like a preventative if uh if there's some sort of pirude some sort of disconnect between you and the cl that's not somehow not going to allow the prayers to get to where they need to get to idea I mean obviously this is applicable even when you be right right maybe even more applicable because uh when you're with the seabboard obviously ly there's a level of the but when you're on alone you have to take upon yourself to connect to even when I'm not physically with I think it's just not so we should we we shouldn't be selfish about thinking about others um when we're praying not praying and all we've done is not just praying for ourselves thinking about others when we're praying as well not to just focus on on ourselves. Beautiful. Beautiful. So definitely relate back to that. So to remind our oneself the maybe the result is saying that it's not just about me when I'm dabbing I have to keep in mind all of beautiful okay so we're going to see that all of our nishas are connected and so you guys must have been connected to all the great rebas and uh let's see let's open up and see what some of the sadik before us have said and we'll we'll pull it all together. So let's begin um with Rimchin Pinis who uh wrote a beautiful safer antila who I'll often call from amazing sadic in our generation aliyah I think he lived in and he was a rashiva there and um writes a lot of us might say okay it's a cute It's part of the ding experience. If I don't take upon myself to love my fellow Jew, it's like I'm missing an integral part of the prayer experience. I kind of need this love connection between my fellow Jew in order for to get my feel accepted. And he says, is audienc is saying you know I walk into and I like and I like my but you know yanka I don't know I just I don't get along every time he sits in my mukum you know he I want the window seat and he sits in the window seat he always takes the window seat and not only that but he leaves his coffee and he spills it all over the and he I don't like that guy. What can I do? You know, what can I do? So, or you know that guy, he just shakes so much. I can't do him. That guy, he do so loud. You know, it's I don't what can I do? I don't I don't connect to I don't like that guy. So that's all nice, but the problem is that that guy Yankee, he's the firstborn son of a right loves him with all of his heart because he is the firstborn child. Every Jew is a firstborn child of a baru. So if I don't like Yankee, what's the problem? I don't like Hashem's firstborn child. So how can I connect to a Keshu when I hate on his firstborn child? Yeah. You hear? here. In other words, it's it comes down says rapinis to amuna. That's the idea. Naturally, I don't think of Yankee as I just think of him as another, you know, another guy who annoys me and sits in my seat. Right? That's our natural. But amuna reminds us actually it's not true. actually everyone is everyone is the firstborn child of and so if I really have a if I I'm angry if I don't get along with another Jew it really it's a lack of amuna and that lack of amuna is going to naturally disconnect me from okay and in fact what's the whole essence of all of really comes down to amuna if we really believe that hem is aim he's a he's the loving kind flowing with you know rahim. So we're going to dive in a different type of way and the saying not only that but the ma that we have in proportion to the amount of inashem's that's how much will actually get drawn down to us in our lives. So by taking upon ourselves it's actually an act of belief was not only connecting me to my fellow Jew but it's also connecting me to and and connecting me to the essence of which is remind which is all so related to the concept of Hashem's mercy of Hashem's kindness of Hashem's love. You guys with me? Yeah. I think he says that in his uh a little later. It's okay. We'll get to it. So that's approach number one. I'd say the I brought it as the first approach because maybe it's a little in innovative a little bit maybe not the first idea we would have thought but it's really about being the our amuna in Hashem and our on another Jew is a disconnect in our amuna and and and thus disconnects us from if I'm disconnected from even one Jew then I have to um then I have to somehow attack in that by the way the easy part is to say it to sing the song. The hard part is, okay, I sang the song, but the guy's still in my m and you know, he's still driving me crazy and he's still taking forever. He's taking too fast or he's singing this again when I want the you know what I'm saying? And then to remind myself, but I took upon myself I can't I can't I can't I can't lie, you know? I said I'm going to love him no matter what. Even at the when, you know, this guy's making noise, it doesn't matter. I still have to love him. Yeah, it's easy to sing. The hard part is to bring it into practice. Okay, now I'm going to skip to I think a more uh classic answer which uh the RV alluded to and that is source bet second page the kiter. Okay, who wrote the sharans? Okay, not to be confused with the shar of Ysef Caro, but Gansfred is a um Hungarian rabbi living in the 1800s and he decides we need to kind of take all of the plethora of works that are out there and kind of make it simple simplify things. And he, you know, revolutionized the hakic world by just telling us this is what you got to do. But not only that, he often adds in little tidbits, beautiful ideas uh in the in the he brings down. So the Gansfreed writes, so it's not just the cabalists, it's not just the it's not just oridis says every Jew should do this. Everyone should take upon themselves the mitzvah after why. Right. Exactly. The of the He's quoting the By the way, if you walk around, you can see in all the graffiti, what do they write all over the place? That's that's all over the place. That's what everybody's writing. That's that's the energy of the Rizal's beautiful because when we are united in our bodies below it allows our souls to be united above when we're below and united below. So then spiritually there's a oneness there's a unification in the heavenly realms and our prayers are also joined together. Okay and then our prayers are able to go up. So in other words, it's it's interesting. There's a lot of a little bit of mysticism here in the in the Kitser. What Gansreed seems to be saying is if I'm just dabbing for me. Okay. So Kman wants uh you know wants a a little raisin parnasa. Common d wants people to come to this year. So then it's just me. Okay. But but it's just one little prayer trying to go up. But you know there's all these kitugi I'm trying to knock down my prayers. Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe I done this sin or that sin. Maybe I didn't d with kavana. So then there's these ways to get our tilos up past those kit. So past those spiritual prosecutors are trying to knock us down. One of those I think that we know famously is minion ding with a minion. The garra says well automatically god will not reject the prayer of a minion. But raid is saying another way is by joining together by love deciding by taking upon myself I love every single Jew. So then it's not just common prayer then my prayer joins together with yanki and schmully and mo and all of our prayers kind of get bundled together in this spiritually powerful mechanism which can break through uh the heavenly realms. Okay, that's kind of I know it's a little bit of a metaphysical spiritual type of explanation, but that's that's Gansfreed's uh understanding of why it's so important to link ourselves to one another to link to get our feelas accepted. Okay, so far so good. And if I'm disconnected from even one Jew, it does it doesn't have that same co of uh of getting up to those heavenly realms. Beautiful. So I think um I think we'll get back to this approach. Uh I will call this approach number two. The this linking our our our prayers together. You know what actually I want to read something from uh Nativom. I didn't have I I I didn't put in the source sheet but uh it's very powerful. It's very beautiful. I when I was uh I already sent out the source sheet last night, but then all these new ideas came to my head. First of all, I I thought about the fact that wait a second, I prepared this year like two months ago when me we were brainstorming about it and then it turns out that we're giving this year right in the smack of the omare. Okay. And what's the main thing that we're supposed to be thinking about during these days of the omare? not supposed to be thinking about, you know, beards or mourning. The whole reason why we don't shave, why we don't listen to live music, why I didn't bring my guitar tonight, is to remind us that something bad happened in Jewish history. What happened in Jewish history? That the the students of of Rabbi Aka, the zoo died. And why did the students of pass away? Because they were not knowing in because they were not in so amazing. I was preparing and the entire period that we're in of the omare the whole reason we're doing all these morning practices is to remind ourselves to be a tiny bit more makid in this of right really we should every week just be talking maybe every we'd squeeze in something about that's the whole of the is somehow getting growing in the so I just that was just amazing that that it worked out that Okay. And uh and then it reminded me of a of a mimer which I I learn every year on tishab from theb from shalom. So I'll read it inside with you guys which I think is very similar to the kiter. He says like this he's talking about why it is that is the sin which got the Jewish people um destroyed. Why? Why? Why specifically is a sin of hating one another what got the second betas destroyed? I mean, it's not one of the big three. It's not Gilas. It's a it's a little love. Why is that the thing that got us kicked out that that that we're still in the gullus for 2,000 years? Why is that the big? So, he explains like this. The only reason the mdash is able to exist is through the unity of the Jewish people. When we're raim, when we're united, then we have this kak of who is hashem your god who listens to your but that's when we're united when we're one when we're but when we're disconnected we lose that kak of mikash of who is like this god who is close to you who's listening to you to all of your prayers now we understand why the mig is destroyed It wasn't that oh we did a sin called so God punishes us there is no more bet is only standing through the god is sending blessing down to the world through the mash that there could not be that connection between us and hem So automatically naturally the B mdash just got disconnected. Why? It's not a oh you did this therefore I I punish you and the base of existence is destroyed but since we were disconnected and we were individuals so the midash can't exist anymore as long as we are disconnected the mid simply does can't it the physical structure can be there but on a spiritual level it's not there anymore the cannot dwell when there's perude between the Jewish people when there's disconnect between the Jewish people. So there's no more it's just naturally destroyed. Only through coming together only when we are united is Hashem our Abba. But when we are disconnected, we're no longer considered that Ben. We're no longer considered the Ben of Hashem. And that was what we felt when we were in the Bdash. We came into Okay. So I know we're not we're not mourning that we're not talking we're not up to the tishabove part of the year. So I don't want to get get anybody sad but what the the Reb I think is saying related to what the when we are united we're on the level of banim our prayers are on a whole different major. We're we're tapping into this level of Israel. But when we are standing as individuals the bda simply can't exist because because as individuals it doesn't it doesn't work. We have to be together mamishal and that's might explain why we have to remind oursel of the before we connect through which is our corbanus of today connect to one another. Everybody with me? Yeah. I feel like I need maybe I need a quick story break. It's a always good to throw in a little story. So in 1967 there's uh there's uh craziness going on in in in all of Israel and there's a doctor named Nam Cook who of course is the grand I think the nephew of Ravk of the the famous Ravuk and Dr. Cook was ahead of the emergency unit in Beaker Holland and it was madness. Every few minutes, new soldiers are being thrown in there and they have to make life threat decisions to save this guy, to save that guy. And one guy gets thrown in there and they the doctors think they got to amputate his his his leg. And they say, "Listen, there's so much going on. We don't have time to decide which going to we got to cut it off." And all the doctors agree except Dr. Cook. Dr. Cook, Dr. No Cook says, "Absolutely not. You can't you can't kick off cut that guy." But they it's the only thing. it's the only way and there's so much going on. Says, "No, try again. Think again." And they think about it again and they find a way to save this guy's life without amputating his leg. So afterwards, they come to the doctor and says, "Why? What gave you that fire that you you wouldn't let us cut off cut off his his leg?" He says, "You know who my uncle was? Ruv Cook." And you know Ruf cook he t told me when I became a doctor that just you know what my mission is as a rabbi is to remind people you know there's some Jews who want to amputate other parts of the Jewish people. They want to say, "Listen, we can't have that that Jew because he's gonna cause uh he's he's going to cause problems and this Jew he has politics we don't agree with and this guy's trafe and that guy's tra his whole mission was to say no, we're a clal. We're all part of AmI is and uh and if if you know like like the famous story with Rafuk where where there was uh someone who went off the DK and he went to Rav Cook and Ravk and he said what what can I do? My son's off the D and R cook said so love him more. So you have to love him more because even if someone's disconnected the solution is to love someone more. The solution is not to get be disconnected. So that was my uncle and he told me that's true on a spiritual level. That's my mission as a rabbi to remind everyone that we're all one and we can't amputate anyone from AmI and that's your job as a doctor and that's what I understood from from my uncle that we we have to do everything possible to not cut off an arm to not cut off a leg because because there there's a shamus we all understand if you cut off a leg it's a it's a big loss we all understand that on a physical level but on a spiritual level that's that's that's we don't really necessarily intuitively we say okay one guy that guy we say kdish he doesn't say kdish we we're he's not say it is what it is you know but on the truth is we're all one we're all we're all united we're all we're all mamish one so so it's it's a tragedy if even one of us is disconnected and we have to do our best you know that's that's why it's so important you know when we learn today we always start the shame is we we don't learn for ourselves we learn for the sake of the whole Jewish people we den for the because we all we have to remind ourselves that we're all one and I think that's the behind this. We have to have that uniting spiritual act before we can uh we can get our feelas to on a higher level. Yeah. So far so good. Beautiful. Where are we holding on time? Never mind. I got I got we're okay. Okay. 22 minutes. We'll we can cover a little bit more ground. Okay. Let's say approach. Another approach is brought by the okay um adds on a little different perspective. You're asking how do we make this practical? He says actually mamish go through and you know many of us have a custom do this every night to forgive every Jew if they did anything wrong but let's say you didn't do it at night or let's say you walk into shul and you know you see that guy and you remember one guy who who did something wrong to you forgive him at that moment forgive him say I forgive him that's the key leave even though he deserves it even though he stole the and whatever he did to me go out of your way to forgive him anyway. So he says cuz God works the way you treat other people that's the way that Hashem is going to treat you and if he takes anger from his heart. So how's hem If you're still brokus, you're still angry at that guy. So if you start, you know, analyzing what everyone did to you, so then Hashem's going to start analyzing all of your faults. But if you you see a guy who is really a jerk to you, and you use that as an opportunity and say, you know what, I'm still going to love him. I'm still going to love him because then Hashem kind of says, okay, mida, can I get mida? If he's willing to be mav his I'm also going to be mavos and I'm going to be able to give you blessing of me forgiving somebody else so then hashem will forgive me and bring my prayers to a uh a higher level. Okay. Um by the way I didn't bring it down but this is did I bring it down? I'm not sure if I brought it down. Um, it doesn't matter. This is the approach of the tor d'vorah of the ramach. Mosha Cordova in his beautiful work uh writes that you could say maybe just on a little on a spiritually selfish level. It's worth it to forgive other people. It's worth it to be mir on your midos. And he writes this throughout is safer because exactly with the way we treat other people is exactly the way bar is going to treat us. So you could say maybe just on a personal selfish level I might as well take this opportunity to uh forgive other people and that will be this to get my accepted byes through that act of uh of looking past. Yeah. On that note I want to mention a teaching of the alter about we were talking about what is right to love a fellow sounds very beautiful. It sounds, you know, fluffy, give someone a hug. But how in practice am I supposed to actually get to a place where I actually love somebody else on the same way that I love my myself? That's that's a very high mga. So he gives an amazing says like this meaning to say love another just like you like yourself in the senses. Let's say I mess up. Nobody here but let's I'll talk about myself. Let's say I make a mistake. I lost my keys again. I uh you know had to had whatever. I made a mistake. I made We all make mistakes. I made a mistake. Do we still treat ourselves nicely? Do we still get ourselves a coffee? Do we still, you know, let ourselves go to sleep and take care of ourselves? Hopefully. So, in other words, even though I messed up, even though I'm I could be mad at myself, but at the end of the day, I still love myself because it's me, you know, and I still treat myself nicely. And uh why do I do that? I don't make a bon and say, well, is common a good guy or is a bad guy? Let's should I get myself a coffee? Do I deserve it or do I not deserve it? No. I just love me, you know? It's I just do. What can I say? I just love myself. I want to take care of myself and I get myself that coffee regardless of whether I deserve it or not. Yeah. I I let myself go to sleep and I wake up the next morning and get up again. It's not an intellectual analysis. It's not about whether I deserve it or not. I just love myself. So in that same way the of of is that guy deserve my my love? Was that guy a jerk to me? Yeah, he was a jerk for me with me. Does he deserve that I should love him? No. There's a reason I don't get along with that guy. You know, there's I don't know. We just don't I just don't really connect to that guy. But it doesn't matter. Love can overcome reason and logic. And at the end of the day, um at the end of the day, as we're going to talk about in a second, we're all in the shamas. Ra nam is connected to and so as as I can the same way I can choose to love myself despite the lack of logic there I can think that guy was a jerk and still absolutely commit myself to love him right just the same way you see a little baby right if you had a if any had a kid he didn't do anything to deserve your love all he does is keeps keeps you up all night and uh make his mom go crazy but you still decide to love that kid it's not an intellectual decision vision. It's just that I decide at a certain I'm committed to love this person regardless. So in the same way person might say I can't love that guy. I hate that guy. He he was a jerk to me and the Reb is saying no it doesn't matter what makes sense. It may it matters that Hashem tells you that he's a Jew and you have a mitzvah to love him. So you're obligated to do your best to let love all of your the things that are holding you back and choose to love this Jew as oneself. Yeah, you with me? So far so good. So um on that note, I wanted to also uh mention I don't know if I where where I brought in the source. This is I think it's in the the the 32nd chapter of the Tanya. So it's inside or outside. I'll say it in I'll say it in Yeah, it's on the top here. When you where is it? Yeah, that one. When you consider there it is. Okay. Okay. So, I'm going to read something [Applause] um from the Hatana from the 32nd chapter of the of the Rebe and uh I think he's going to explain another derek of connecting he writes when you consider that all souls are matching and that we all have one father that is why all Jews are called brothers because they literally are brothers at the root of their souls and God's oneness. It is only their body selves that differentiate them. It turns out that those who make their body self their principal concern and provide their soul only a background role can never experience true love and brotherhood. Okay? So in other words, the rabbi is giving us the the the key to getting to tapping into true ava. The more we think of ourselves as bodies and the more we think about gashmas and the more we're t all we think about is money and food and tas so the harder it is to actually tap into true aa the only way to really get to a true level of both and is to remind ourselves that we are allas that we are all souls. The more we remind ourselves that we are all really one soul souls, the more we realize we're all one soul. The more we realize that we're all connected to the more we realize as the zora writes so powerfully, that we're all really one. We're all really united in our core. And so when you're singing that what I try to do as a little meditation is think kind of strip your body and think of yourself as a soul and once you can imagine yourself I don't everyone hovers you know imagines it differently with the the the the light coming out of my heart that's how I imagine it but everyone in their own way the more I tap into the fact that I am a soul then it's so easy to tap into the fact that everyone's a soul Here, let's practice right now. Let's try. Everybody, close your eyes for a second. Close your eyes. Strip yourself in your mind's eye of your body and just focus on you being an expand outwards towards everyone in this room. And now that we're all one, that expand to all the Jews in the world. and really to the whole world and to himself that's I try to do you can open up your eyes when I say after I try to take this advice of the it's beautiful because the more we remind ourselves that we're namas the more we can connect to the oneness of all is and the more we could connect to a kesh actually it reminds me of my favorite Torah of The sheamish mo. So the sheamish the suckage of a reba has a bomb kasha. The rebba is an amazing amazing dashas and he asks how could it be that the students of rebaka were not no egg covered. It doesn't make any sense. They're reb's main teaching. What's the every day is getting up giving about the he's giving a different story. He's inspiring them every and then they they're not no how could it be that these 24,000 Jews could go have strayed so far from Rabaka's great teachings. So one answer we could suggest anybody have a suggestion that uh the bar was really high and it's not that they weren't they weren't koy it wasn't on the level okay so maybe sadikim are you know held to a higher standard and especially if they had such a rebi they should have uh they should have uh gotten to even a higher level yeah okay could be I'll get back to that another answer I was going to suggest uh is maybe more simply Yeah. When did learn the lesson of afterwards after this whole tragedy happened the first time around he wasn't stressing when he was just giving in the base mish but now he learned his lesson after the tragedy that happened and he taught his next students etc the importance of after but the gives a different answer. He says, "You know why they uh made this mistake? Cuz they went to this year and they understood that we're all one. We're all souls. We're all really mamish unified." And they took it so much to heart. But the thing is once you really feel like we're really one, then let's say I clap. All right. And I hurt my thumb a little bit. I clapped. So does my my hand apologize to my thumb? They appropriated. It doesn't really make sense because they're all one. We're all so I don't need to apologize to my thumb because we're all one. So it's such a feeling of aus that they forgot that they're also separate. And the truth is we are separate that on the one hand on an level we're connected but on the other hand we do have to we have to live in both worlds. We have to treat another person like a separate entity and therefore him and therefore if I pass him on the road and you know run him over I have to say I'm sorry even though you know even though he's mentioned right we all have to at times imagine like he's a completely separate entity and I have to care for him and be there for him and at the same time at times um you know imagine like we're all one. So Davka because they internalize this lesson but at this we have to know where to start. Yes, we're all one, but at the same time, we have to know that at times we the other we make space for the other. It's like in a family sometimes you love your family member so much that you don't give them enough and that was the mistake that they made and that's what we have to learn also even when we love someone to also them. Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. Um one more takeaway and then we'll give a few four usas about how to practically apply this to our lives to wrap up our little year together. So we've been so far talking about how when we take upon ourselves our ding will be on a higher level. But says it's not just that. It's not just that when you learn when you you take this upon yourself, your dining will be on a higher level. How do you know if you had a good ding? What's the inim that you that Hashem and you really connected? How do I know? How do I know? Seems like Alicia knows the Tory. What? What? That's what they say in English, which means you you well do. You're well. So, how do you know if you're well do is if you shook well enough, if you felt really, you know, knocked somebody over and you so he says if someone says if after you want to heavy hug every Jew in the world, then you had a good right. I'm sure you guys have experienced that. Maybe you went to the kota, you're singing, and after that feel, you just want to give every single Jew in the world a hug. Maybe you want to give every person in the world, then you had a good and it makes sense because it's all interconnected. It's if we're connecting to to aes to our to our then we're also more connected to our fellow Jew. If after davening I don't care more about another Jew, then I'm not going to say what's the point, but like uh what's the point, you know? Like that's why in in the I I often dab in by breast of shul and the main reason I go there honestly is because we dance after ding because to me maybe that's the most important part of the whole davining you know just at the end of ding to davin and and sing a little bit and dance a little bit right the truth is in ding itself it's good to sing a little bit and dance a little bit and not just you know take upon yourself after but for me is when we're singing a little bit together and we're Not just random people coming together, but we're really feeling we're we're a community here. We have a community growing together. So it's so in anyways that's what beautiful teaching about knowing how to take the and bring it bring that experience into our interconnected. They're intertwined. Okay. Okay. four beautiful atas about practically how do we apply this number one is um it's a garra inra tells us so really this is a two for onear is giving us two pieces of advice earlier I cut it out the says when you give saddaka then you'll That's why there's a strong to give a little as uncle monkey says before give a little it's not just a way of getting the beggar off your back so you can concentrate. Okay. It's a way of connecting to it's a way of bringing yeah you talk the talk you sang the song but do you do you do you live it? So when you give that half a shekea or a shekea whatever it is you know in my community we have like 12 beggars every in in the shul so you know I'll go broke if I give everyone a shaka so I get half a shekele but in any case uh the point is to give that half a shackle to give it with love and maybe just as importantly it's not just about giving the money but giving them the smile if you're in the middle of dabbing okay I can't but maybe after dabbing give him a bra give him a hug and to from my experience That's even more important to to the Helga Sedaka collectors than Saddaka itself. They want a little yakas. They're doing it's not so coveted. They don't really enjoy their job. I imagine maybe some of them do, but uh to give them a little smile, give them a little love, give them a chocolate candy. Um and it's not just about the beggars. Give give a smile to the guy who you're walking by in sh and uh giving that little whether it's with words or with a smile or with money. That's a practical manifestation of in our experience. Yeah. You with me? You guys with me? Okay. Good. There's a mission in PA that says that um sometimes the PA changes according to what the needs of the are what the there's a lot but you can give and if there are a lot of if there less if there less people so there's that flexibility that talks about directly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very good but with a smile. Yeah. Yeah. We're not we're not talking about do you have to give every beggar on the street that's a hashir for another day. But I'm just saying I don't I don't think everyone would agree that to be sweet and kind and uh and smile is is is a beautiful thing to do to ex to take our and manifest it. Um another um piece of advice the the writes in Maran in every Jew there is something precious a virtue not found in his friend. With this he can inspire his friend to avote Hashem. His friend must acknowledge and accept this good point as it is written of the angels. They receive each from the other. So in a practical way, it means you walk into shul and this guy likes to dab in like this and this guy is very uh shakes a lot and this guy sings a lot and this guy screams and this guy and instead of being looking with a negative eye and and trying to why is he getting my way try to be like like Rabbi Akmed says what can I learn from this person? and how can I be inspired from that person's devote and uh constantly try to ask myself what what can what can I take from that person would always say that when you see someone dominating with fire it's contagious a beautiful it's contagious but it's only contagious if your heart is opened so uh we should open up our hearts to try to learn and be inspired by one another when we're in that uh experience and one more piece of advice I'm quoting from um from Zeligiskin's beautiful safeair my father my king uh so he writes you should hear your father our father or king Hashem saying feel joy for the joy of my children whenever you see or hear about someone else having some good for fortune feel joy feeling joy for the joy of others is a potential source of joy that can be easily missed when you feel the joy for others you will experience much joy in your own life when you realize that I the one who has given that person the success or good fortune. It will make it easier for you to feel joy for the joy of my other children. So, you know, sometimes you go to shul and you see someone else is in a good mood. Maybe there's a sim, maybe there's a bar mitzvah and or a wedding and you could just I mean truthly for when there's a and everyone's happy because there's no so everyone's already in a in a great mood. But sometimes by a bar mitzvah it's a little bit more challenge like you know I gotta go on hurry you know I gotta get to work but instead we can remind ourselves wow this guy is a sima and this guy's eng and and you sometimes the truth is it's easier for us to connect in terms of when someone's going through a hard time to be there for them and that's an amazing aoda commiserate to commiserate and that's that that itself is a sheer that we need to talk we all need mkazak ourselves to just be there and see other people's pains But I think uh we sometimes forget to what an opportunity when someone else is experiencing joy to remind yourself this is my opportunity to fill the to dance. I'm a little biased cuz I work as a bar mitzvah hotel guy. I'm one of those guys who dances with the bar mitzvah boys at the hotel. It's one of my side jobs. So uh sometimes uh I'm not in the mood. It's it's hot. It's a hotel. But I I have to remember my remember this is my opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of to truly be joyous for this kid for the for this family. And in that way we mamish take the result's uh advice not just as a theory but bring it into our lives. So just to summarize because back in rabbi school they told us you're supposed to summarize. So two-minute summary, we explained the Rizal reminded us that if we want our to be accepted, we need to take upon ourselves to love our fellow Jew. And we gave a a couple of different perspectives. Is it is it as Rafina said in a way of being that that that that this child is also the the son of a bar and that every every single Jew is Hashem's favorite child. Is it a act of spiritually connecting to one another? That's why all the areim and uh and and when we're doing this act of connecting to our soul, we thus connect to all of Isel and we thus uh bring we bring bring the the tikun of of that that that we all need. We we help rebuild the base of mikdash and um that's the big biggest tick tick of our generation and we gave some advice as to how to practically manifest us in our lives. Give a little saddaka, give a smile, be happy for other people when they're in their and should all be blessed to take these these beautiful and bring it into our lives. Have a beautiful, beautiful week. In English, it's called collectivization. Open up your heart. You're supposed you're supposed to collectivize. Beautiful. It's collectivization. And thanks again for everyone for coming together like the like the hilab coming together right now. um you know and uh raising a lot of holy sparks by learning to together to IBA for putting together such a beautiful uh and now we're going to raise holy sparks with all the dinner that they provided for us. So, uh, let's start the show. My [Music] birthday is my sh