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Naftali Horowitz - You Revealed: Uncover Your True Self
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What is
to be here tonight.
First of all my whole thank you. Where
are you?
For being my chauffeur.
Finding out that I'm in the home of my
dear departed Havruta.
Aaron ben Moshe.
I could just tell you that
when I started in the new Yeshiva
in Torah Temimah, I came late to the
Yeshiva. I transferred from another
Yeshiva. When you come to new Yeshiva,
you're you're walking into a new
society. It's like moving into a
neighborhood.
And everybody sort of clicked together
for many many years. And here you the
outsider are transplanting yourself in.
I remember the first day how daunting it
was to come into this new Yeshiva.
It was a very very close-knit group of
boys.
And it must have been three or four
minutes into my
learning session in the in Beit Midrash.
And somebody with the warmest smile
comes over to me.
And he says, "Shalom aleichem. My name
is Aaron Walkin."
And
you know, we we have
love at first sight.
It was love at first sight between me
and Aaron.
I'm not going to tell you stories about
Aaron because then everyone's going to
see an adult cry.
But um
I became like a brother to him. We I
spent Shabbat in his house.
He spent Shabbat in my house.
I just told my whole he taught me how to
dance.
He
we just spent so much time together. I I
I have never met a man with a greater
neshama, a greater love for another Jew
as my friend Aaron. When Aaron passed
away, I was quite sick with COVID. And
nobody would tell me that he had passed
away.
It was uh something they were trying to
keep from me.
And I just lost my rabbi. And I was not
in a good place.
The last day of the Shiva, my niece
called me up. Not knowing that they were
keeping this from me. And she said that
Aaron's mother, who I was I am very
close to, was wondering why I hadn't
called. And I said, "Why would I be
calling?"
And he said, "To be menachem avel her."
I said, "Menachem avel her? Her husband
passed away?"
And she was quiet, my niece, for a few
moments cuz she realized that I hadn't
known.
And then she told me. And
I have no recollection of what happened
the rest of that day.
I couldn't even pick up the phone and
call his mother. That's how sick I was
after hearing the news. So, tonight's
lecture should be in the zechut of Aaron
ben Moshe. And
as I was telling my whole, I lost um
two very very close rabbeim in my life.
It's a very difficult thing. It's I
could say that in many ways it's more
difficult to lose a rebbe than it is a
parent.
Um a parent
leaves a certain gap in your life.
But for some people when a rebbe passes
away, it's like the whole foundation of
your life is stripped out from under
you. You literally find yourself
standing there with nothing to stand on.
I've experienced this twice in my life.
The message from Hashem is that there is
going to be another one. We have to seek
one out. We have to find them.
And we have to graduate. And when a when
a tzaddik leaves this world
I'll tell you just an unbelievable
thought that I saw on Shabbat. It's an
unbelievable thought.
I didn't start my lecture yet.
The Chovot Halevavot tells us that if a
person does
actions in this world, mitzvot, maasim
tovim, tzedakah,
it's not guaranteed that they're going
to get any reward in the next world.
This is the Chovot Halevavot in in the
fourth perek of Shaar Habitachon.
And he says, "Why?" He says, "Because
number one, Hashem does so much for us."
I was just talking to my friend my whole
and I was telling him how we graduate
through life in terms of our
relationship with Hakadosh Baruchu. We
we start life. We do mitzvot. We think
Hashem owes us something in return. We
keep track. I did this. Hashem didn't do
this. Hashem did do this. I did do this.
He did this. We think that we're having
a a give and take with one of our
friends. As we get older,
we begin to appreciate that we know
Hakadosh Baruchu everything. We owe him
the fact that we're here today. We owe
him our lives. We owe him our spouses.
We owe him our children. We owe him
every single thing that we have. And
even when we do something with Hakadosh
to for Hakadosh Baruchu in our minds, we
have to realize that Hashem needs
nothing from us. Hashem doesn't lack
anything. The Chovot Halevavot says a
person does a mitzvah,
right? And he counters that with how
much Hashem gave him.
He realizes that all he's doing is
taking away one little ayota of a
deficit that has been built from the day
that we were born.
It's like a person who pays back a man
who owes a billion dollars $1. And he
thinks that somehow now he's made a dent
in this in this deficit that he has.
When in actuality he doesn't. The Chovot
Halevavot says the only way
that a person is guaranteed to have
reward in the next world is if he takes
what he knows and he shares it with
others. He impacts other people. He is
mezakeh et harabim like the people of
this organization do.
And he brings a pasuk. Pasuk says that
matzdikei harabim ke kochavim le'olam
va'ed. They are like stars.
And that their reward goes eternally.
Listen to this unbelievable thing that I
that I saw on Shabbat.
And with this
we can understand why those who lost
their baron as a rebbe did not actually
lose him.
If you Google the following question,
"How long does it take for the light of
a star to appear on Earth?"
It's a fascinating concept.
When you see a star, when you look up at
a star, you see light. You're you think
you're seeing a star.
You're not seeing a star.
You're seeing a star how it appeared in
the past.
It takes light time to travel. It's
called a light-year. A light-year is how
fast a a light will travel in 1 year.
A star that's 1,500 light-years away.
There are stars that they can measure
with telescopes that are 1,500
light-years away. When you see the light
of that star, you are seeing that star
1,500 years ago.
It took 1,500 years for that light to
travel. The closest star, I believe,
is 4.3 light-years away. That means that
when you look up and you see the closest
star, you are seeing that star 4 years
ago.
What does the pasuk say? Matzdikei
harabim ke kochavim le'olam va'ed.
A rabbi never dies.
Right? My rabbi is the Chovot Halevavot.
I learned more from him than I learned
from anybody else. The Chovot Halevavot
lived in the year 1032.
It's 1,200 years ago.
I ask you, is the Chovot Halevavot alive
or dead? He's a star. A star, even if it
extinguishes, right? The star that we're
seeing that gave emitted light 1,500
years ago could have gone out 1 minute
later. But the light is still appearing
on this world and will continue to
appear on this world 1,500 years after
the star extinguishes. That's why the
Chovot Halevavot says that when a
person's on this world
and he's accomplishing,
but at the same time he's building a
deficit.
Because Hashem is giving him bracha and
hatzlacha. And he has a wife and he has
children. He has everything that Hashem
gives him.
He continues to build a deficit. So,
yes, he pays back a dollar here, a
dollar there, but the deficit continues
to grow. Plus, the Chovot Halevavot says
that sometimes we do aveirot,
unfortunately. So, that also diminishes
it.
But when a person leaves this world
and what he left in this world that he
helped others, he brought other people
back to Judaism, he helped other people
with parnassah, he brought shalom bayit
between husband and wife. Whatever he
did,
even after he's not here anymore, and
he's not building a deficit because he's
not receiving from Hakadosh Baruchu
because he's no longer on this world, he
continues to build s'char. And
therefore, he's like the light of the
star.
And therefore, the s'char from that is
going to be reserved for him forever.
So,
they want me to speak about
the crazy title that I gave this book.
When I brought this book to ArtScroll,
their first impression was, "What's with
the title?
We don't like it."
I said, "You don't like the title?" They
said, "No." I said, "But that's why I
wrote the book."
I started with a title and then I wrote
a book.
I didn't write a book and say, "What
should I name it?"
And they really didn't think
that the title would resonate with
people.
And I said, "So, I won't sell any
books."
It seems they were wrong, baruch Hashem,
because as of now we're going into a
seventh printing.
And it seems that people were intrigued
with the title. But let me tell you what
the title meant to me.
And what I want to share with you
regarding this title.
Every person comes to this world
in a state
where they are not revealed.
And certain aspects were revealed.
We have gifts that are apparent to
everybody. We went to school.
Oh, she was always very, very
warm.
He was always very, very smart.
These are revealed gifts.
Hashem gives us things for free.
We got a present. Every single person
got gifts the day they were born.
The parents they were born to, the
siblings they had, everybody in their
situation.
And some people grow up and they think
that they don't fit into this category.
They were shortchanged.
They didn't have the upbringing that
other people had.
They weren't
endowed with all of the
gifts and characteristics
of others. I wish I was as smart as this
person. I wish I was as funny as him. I
wish I was as pretty as her.
And we somehow think that if only
that was who I am,
I would be different. I would be better.
There's a you
in each of us
which is
without capital letters.
And that's the way we come to this
world.
Our job in this world tells us
the Ramchal,
the Chovot Halevavot, to many others,
is to reveal the greatness that lies
within.
To reveal the capital Y O U.
And that's all we ever need to do.
I was always fascinated with this idea
growing up
knowing that I had certain things going
for me and many things not going for me.
And always wishing that I had more going
for me.
There was nothing particularly special
about me.
Hashem endowed me with a very good head.
But other than that, I was never very
good at sports.
Most of the kids in my class were taller
than me.
And
I didn't make friends that easily.
And I struggled. I struggled like many,
many children struggle.
Wishing I was different.
And then one day I realized that we
don't really know who we are.
I'll tell you an interesting story.
It's an amazing story.
One year on the holiday of Shavuot,
my parents went to my sister who lives
in Monsey.
I was in Yeshiva and I didn't want to
go. I wanted to spend Shavuot in
Yeshiva.
And my father said to me,
"We're grandchildren of big rabbis. You
can't just,
you know, as we say in Yiddish, dreizel
in Yeshiva all Yom Tov. You can't be in
Yeshiva.
I went to Litvish Yeshivot. My parents
were Hasidish. You have to spend
Shavuot
with one of our holy cousins."
I said, "If I have a choice, I'd like to
spend Shavuot with the Rebbe of Belz."
Rebbe of Belz, Rebbe Yisrael Spira,
was a great tzaddik who lived in Boro
Park.
He passed away probably about 25 years
ago.
He survived many death camps.
And it was at the Shavuot that Shavuot
lunch
that I heard the following story.
The Rebbe told the story
that happened to him
in the Janowska death camp.
It was the evening of Yom Kippur.
Several
inmates came to the Rebbe and they said,
"Rebbe, tomorrow's Yom Kippur.
How is it possible that we're going to
go out on a work detail?
We're going to be mechallel the holiest
day of the year."
The rabbi said, "What What do you want
me to do?"
He says the
kapo, the head kapo of the camp
at the time was a man by the name of
Schneweiss.
"Rebbe, we know that you and Schneweiss
went to cheder together.
You went to school together."
The Rebbe says, "Yes, it's true. But do
you know what happened to him?
He left
completely the Jewish nation. Not only
that, he became a hater
of Orthodox Jewry.
And the last thing I want is for him to
know that I'm in the camp.
He'll have me killed instantly.
I'm trying to avoid him since I've come
to the camp."
And they said, "Rebbe, but still, maybe
if you go to him and you beg him and you
plead with him, maybe he'll let us get
out of work tomorrow."
The Rebbe looked at three holy Jews who
wanted to
spend Yom Kippur praying. And he said to
Hashem,
"Let me go."
So he goes to Schneweiss.
He enters the barracks,
knocks on the door. Schneweiss says,
"Come in."
And Schneweiss doesn't even look up at
him.
And he says, "Schneweiss, look at me."
He looks at the Rebbe. The Rebbe's beard
was shaven off, so he didn't even
recognize him.
He says, "Do you know I am?"
He says, "No, I don't." He says, "It's
me, Yisrael Spira."
He goes, "Ah, the rabbiner.
I didn't know you were in my camp.
I would have made your life miserable."
He says, "Listen, Schneweiss. Tonight is
Kol Nidre. Tomorrow's Yom Kippur.
There's four people in the camp who are
begging you,
we shouldn't have to go out to work
tomorrow."
"Are you crazy?
Are you nuts?
Arbeit macht frei.
You have to go to work."
He said, "Schneweiss, listen," he says.
"You walked away from Yiddishkeit.
You are mechallel Shabbat.
You eat non-kosher.
Maybe this is your chance
to redeem yourself.
Please,
let us not work tomorrow."
Schneweiss says, "Get out of here.
I never want to see you again."
And the rabbi leaves, goes back to the
barracks.
He says to the people, "I tried. I can't
tell you. I don't know what's going to
happen."
The next day,
by roll call,
Schneweiss
calls the rabbi and he says, "Rabbi,
step out."
The rabbi steps out. And he goes, "Who
are the other three?"
And he didn't know at that moment if he
was sending them
to the gallows
or he was saving them from work. He had
no idea.
Hashem put the thought in his head and
he pointed out the other three. And he
said, "Come with me."
He took them to the other side of the
camp.
He opened up an empty barracks.
On the floor were some rags.
And he says to them,
"Here.
I know that even on Yom Kippur without
water,
you can clean a barracks."
Closes the door, he locks it.
They couldn't believe it. It was Yom
Kippur. They're in a room, four Jews
together with dry rags.
And they
prayed that day like they never prayed
before, the prayers of Yom Kippur.
It was about 12:00 or 1:00 in the
afternoon.
All sudden, the door ba-
explodes open.
And there's two SS guards standing
there.
With a cart
with steaming hot soup.
"Not just soup," the rabbi said.
"Meat,
potatoes.
This is not the way they fed
Jewish inmates in concentration camps.
The guards knew exactly what was going
on over here.
And he says, 'Juden!
Time to eat!
The Fuhrer needs you to be strong to
work for the Fuhrer!"
And the Rebbe looks at the man and he
says,
"Today is Yom Kippur.
Today Jews don't eat."
He says, "What?
I'll kill YOU RIGHT NOW! EAT!"
And the rabbi says, "I'm sorry. Today's
Yom Kippur. Today we don't eat."
So the guard co- tells the other guard,
"Bring Schneweiss right now."
They bring Schneweiss into the room.
And they hand him a bowl. And they say,
"Schneweiss,
show the Jews that a Jew can eat on Yom
Kippur."
Schneweiss looks at the guard and he
says, "Today is Yom Kippur.
Today we don't eat."
And the guard puts a gun to his head.
And he says, "I give you one more chance
to eat."
And he looks at the SS and he says to
him, "Today is Yom Kippur. Today a Jew
doesn't eat."
And with that, Schneweiss
returned his neshama to Hakadosh Baruch
Hu.
The Gemara tells us
three times in the Talmud
that Rebbe cries.
Each time Rebbe cries,
it's for one reason and one reason
alone.
The words
of
the prophet
A person can grab the next world in one
second.
If Rebbe was there at that moment, he
would have cried because a man who had
left Judaism
who gave it all up
who ate pork
was
a Sabbath
made many many Jews suffer while they
were under his care.
Sacrificed his life in the last second
rather than eat
at the instruction of an SS guard on Yom
Kippur.
The Torah tells us in the Torah
There was a man by the name of Rabbi
Eliezer ben Durdai. The Torah calls him
Rabbi.
Rabbi Eliezer ben Durdai. The Torah
tells us
he was such a sinner
that there was never a man who sinned as
often as he did.
In the worst way.
The Torah says that he heard about a
certain woman that he wanted to be with.
She was on the other side of the world.
And he risked his life
and he spent fortunes of money to go be
with her.
And while he was with her, she said to
him
you will never repent. You are a lost
person.
And
the guy got a wake-up call.
He got a wake-up call.
He said, "What? What did I become? What
have become of me?"
And he started pleading. The Torah says
he pleaded with the heavens, he pleaded
with the earth, he pleaded with the sun,
he pleaded with the moon. He said,
"Somebody help me return. Help me
return." And they all said
"You're a lost cause."
He put his head between his legs and he
cried out to God.
"Please take me back. I want to do
repentance."
And at that moment his soul
left.
And Rebbe cried and said
the prophet
Who was Schneeweiss?
Who was Rabbi Eliezer ben Durdai?
Who were they really? Were they who they
were
up until that moment
or
were they who they were at that last
moment?
Who were they essentially?
How could a person
live one way
his whole life?
I had a friend.
His name was Steven.
He was very close to my wife.
My wife made his daughter a Jew
in school. She My wife taught her in a
school in Manhattan Beach.
And through that she My wife became very
close to the parents.
Steven and Judy.
When I was dating my wife, I had to go
through a
series of interviews.
First I had to pass my in-laws. That was
the easy part.
Then I had to pass all the other people
that felt connected to her.
And the last test was Steven Mandel had
to approve of me.
I went to his house, a Jewish guy with
my hanging out.
My wife warned me in the car. She said,
"I'm just telling you right now
he's a professed atheist.
He doesn't believe in anything."
I said, "Okay. I've met worse."
I spent 2 hours with Steven Mandel. It
was the most delightful 2 hours. We
debated. We talked about infinite
regression.
One of the arguments of atheism.
I taught him some ideas from the
why infinite regression cannot be. He
showed me his library.
He had every single book ever written by
an atheist.
One after another. He was so proud of
it. There wasn't a book on atheism that
he didn't own and that he hadn't read
cover to cover.
So it was until he was diagnosed with
pancreatic cancer.
And he called me.
He called me to his bedside. It was 5
years later.
He was very very weak.
He could barely talk.
Bent down to his ear and he says to me
"I regret it all.
I regret the way I lived my life."
His words were, "I want to die a glad
kosher Jew."
He said, "I want you
to take care of my body.
I want you
to tell my grandchildren to live a life
that's different than the way I lived.
And I want you to burn my library."
I want to tell you that he had a good
He passed away on the Sabbath.
I got a call right after Sabbath was
over from his wife.
She says, "Come quickly.
He was in the memorial.
The doctors don't know why he's still
alive because they gave up on him 4
hours ago. He has the faintest
heartbeat.
He's holding on. He's waiting for you to
come."
I ran to the hospital Sabbath. I said do
you with him? I said with him.
And the second I finished with him, his
heartbeat went flat.
Who was Steven Mandel?
Was he the atheist?
You tell me.
HOW COULD A PERSON
SWITCH
in one second?
THE PROPHET
TELLS US
HOW.
We look at our history.
We had Jews
who were
Sabbath
in public
who were willing
to be baptized openly.
And then were willing to be burned at
the stake
when they had to
denounce their Judaism.
You had generations of people who had
almost no connection
except when they were forced to choose.
And when it came to there, they did the
ultimate act of
self-sacrifice.
The prophet says
that every Jew has inside of them
this flame, this power
that cannot and never will be
extinguished.
And when a person is sometimes faced
with a decision
do I put that out?
Do I turn off that pilot light?
Do I openly denounce my Judaism?
Am I willing to eat on Yom Kippur
because an SS
guard forces me to?
When a person realizes that it's almost
over
that flame comes alive.
And it overtakes the person and they die
a saint.
Who was Schneeweiss? He was who he was
at the last second.
HE LIVED A LIE
HIS WHOLE LIFE. MY FRIEND Steven Mandel
realized he lived a lie his whole life.
He lived in darkness.
He lived in constriction.
He never lived a day of who he truly was
until he realized that his days are
numbered.
Why does Rebbe cry?
The prophet
says
Why does he cry?
Should be happy.
What a turnaround.
180° turnaround. He went from this to
this in one second.
Every time this happens in the Torah,
Rebbe is crying. Why is Rebbe crying?
Rebbe is crying because a person could
get
one second. Imagine how much a person
could get if he lives his whole life
that way.
Imagine.
A person who buys one share of Amazon at
$30 a share
and he turns it into 3,200 and he says,
"Oh, if I would have bought 10 shares. I
would have bought 50 shares. 100 shares.
500 shares. Where was my mind?"
A person comes to the next world and he
realizes what a
means
when you pick up another Jew and you
make him feel good, what that's going to
mean one day.
We're going to realize
we had diamonds laying in the street.
Success in life
is living
in a state of revelation.
It's connecting with who we essentially
are with the
that we have inside of us and we must
not wait
until a big wake-up call.
If we haven't had enough wake-up calls
in the last 2 years
a person could start living that way.
We are so fortunate. I remember as a
child
I was so uncomfortable during the
I was so nervous, so stressed.
The
was stomach like I would get knots in my
stomach. Forget it. I dreaded Yom
Kippur.
I literally my father would sit there.
He would bless us
before we went to school
wearing his kittel and his tallis and
crying and crying. Well, I remember his
crying and a lot of crying and I was
like, "This is so sad. This is so
depressing."
And then you come to shul and
everybody's crying and I was like, "Oh
my gosh, get me out of here. I mean,
Purim, bring Purim in. Come on, we need
Chanukah now."
Seriously, where's the latkes, matzah? I
can't handle this.
Then I got older and I started
appreciating
what would life be
without a month
of reflection,
without a day of complete cleansing,
a day where you sit down and you take
stock of your life
and you say, "Where am I?
And how did I get here?
What's wrong with me? What's right with
me?
Make a kabbalah for the next year."
Imagine life without that day. Imagine a
week without Shabbat. Some people look
at Shabbat as "What? I can't use my
smartphone?
Can't go to the theater?"
And I say, "If I use my smartphone on
Shabbat, I would hang myself.
I can't handle it.
It's enough 6 days
confusion and sucking the life out of
me. Imagine without Shabbat.
Imagine life without Yom Kippur.
Imagine life without a month of Elul
where we're shaken and said, "Hey,
life's flying by.
You were just this big and now you're
this big. Your hair is turning gray.
Life is moving.
When are you going to start
living
a life that reflects who you essentially
are?"
We're in such a beautiful time now.
It's not a time of mourning.
It's a time of rebirth. It's a time
where we can actually sit down
and decide how we're going to live the
rest of our lives.
The pasuk tells us
ki amitzvah hazot, this mitzvah,
lo nifleisi mimcha v'lo r'chokeiha,
it's not beyond you.
Lo bashamayim hi, it's not in the
heavens that we could say, "How are we
going to get up to the moon
to do this mitzvah?"
It's not across the ocean where we can
ask, "How do I get there to do this
mitzvah?"
Ki karov eilecha hadavar me'od, it's
very, very close. B'ficha uv'livavcha
la'asoso,
it's in your mouth and in your heart to
do this mitzvah.
The Gemara tells us which mitzvah we're
talking about. We're talking about the
mitzvah of teshuvah.
Teshuvah means to return.
Who are we returning to?
We're returning to who we are.
We're
walking away
from what we've become
in the areas where we never intended to
become it.
Life, society, stress,
the needs,
materialism,
confusion,
everything
has turned us into something that we're
really not.
People say this all the time.
"I don't recognize myself.
I look myself in the mirror. How did I
become this?"
I had other aspirations,
which is something I write about in my
book a lot.
This is a very powerful pasuk.
The great Rabbinum of Pshischah says
the first lesson of this pasuk is
what we started with,
that nobody has to remake themselves.
A person could think,
"If I can go to the moon, if I could
move over there,
if I could be close to that rabbi,
if they were my parents, if I had more
money, if I had this, I had that,
then
I can reach
my potential."
Says Rabbinum, "No,
you're wrong.
Ki karov eilecha hadavar me'od, it's in
you.
It's in you. You have it in you. You
just have to reveal it."
I once heard a beautiful idea.
My son-in-law's father,
my mechutan, Rabbi Ephraim Wachsman,
once shared this idea with me.
He says a person loses his keys,
right? And he thinks they're on the
moon.
"I think I left them on the moon."
And he finds them in his pocket.
That usually doesn't happen.
There usually isn't such a disconnect
between
where we actually find something
and where we thought it was,
right? I know I had my phone somewhere.
Maybe I left it on my vacation in
Florida 6 months ago.
No, it never happens. You have some idea
when you're looking for something in
what vicinity it is.
So, what's the Torah telling us over
here?
It's not on the moon.
It's not in India. It's not in China.
It's actually
you're looking for it. It's in your
pocket. It's right here.
Oh, so funny. I thought it was in India.
It's right here in my pocket.
How does a person make such a mistake?
The answer is simple.
Cuz it seems that way.
It seems that way. It seems that
success,
that living the life, the idyllic life,
is so far away,
so difficult. How can I ever become
that? How could it be?
Sure,
the Satan wants you to think that. He
wants you to think it's on the moon. He
wants you to think it's going to require
a complete re-engineering of who you
are.
So, that way he tells you, "Are you
kidding yourself? You're not an
astronaut. You're not going to the
moon."
Tells us the pasuk, ki karov eilecha
hadavar me'od. Try. Start.
Start.
Make one step. One step.
This Yom Kippur,
take one step.
Not 20 steps. Not 50 steps. One.
Try one step. Stick to it.
And then, next Yom Kippur, do another
one. And then one after that.
You'll wake up 5 years from now
and you will ask the question that you
asked when you began. Only this time it
will be in a positive way.
Wow.
Could it be?
Is it really possible?
I'm like a completely different person
than I was 5 years ago. How did this
happen?
It's unbelievable.
I was so much closer than I actually
thought.
And then you take another step after
that and you realize it was even closer
than that.
And each time
you go a little bit closer, you realize
it was right here all along. IT'S
AMAZING. I THOUGHT
IT WAS ON THE MOON.
It was in my pocket.
Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz
tells us a very powerful thing in this
pasuk.
If that's the case,
why don't more of us do it?
We should all be
all
amazing success stories.
We should all have worked on ourselves.
We should all become the person we
always thought we could be.
Ki karov eilecha hadavar me'od, it's so
close to you. It's so close to you.
Why is it Why is our people finding it
so elusive?
He tells us a very powerful thing.
A person
has an innate ability to become
accustomed to things,
especially when they happen gradually.
You read stories
of the Holocaust,
how people went from rags to riches in
literally 1 day.
They have everything taken away from
them.
And it's
it's overwhelming.
And psychologists say you go through
First you go into shock,
then you go into denial.
There's a whole
process with which a person gets used to
something that they're confronted with
that comes out of nowhere.
There is no process to something that we
gradually become close to.
When a person is diminished
drip by drip,
one email by one email, one website by
another website,
one negative conversation by another
negative conversation, one uns- one
unpure site and another impure site,
it starts to chip away at them.
It's not like a person
who lived a pure life and one day is
confronted
with something that's so offensive that
it blows their mind.
It happens gradually. And when something
happens gradually,
it you don't discern that it's
happening.
You don't realize that it's happening.
Slowly but surely
we get degraded.
And therefore, we don't see ourselves as
such because a person could become
accustomed to anything.
As long as it happens in gradual. It's
like you're sitting in a room and slowly
it's getting warmer and warmer. You
don't even realize how warm it is in the
room until somebody walks in and says,
"Oh my gosh, it's boiling hot in here."
Really? I didn't realize that. But if
you come in from an air-conditioned
room, you can feel it because the change
is very, very pronounced.
Chaim Velozhin tells us
that this power of the Satan
to gradually
poison us and weaken us
is one of the most insidious things.
A wake-up call.
Reb Elazar Dudi
I am sure until that wake-up call never
stopped and realized what he had become.
Until something shook him awake.
What have we become accustomed to?
Well, the first thing we become
accustomed to
is that we don't believe in ourselves.
People think that arrogance is the
the plague of this generation.
It's not true.
Lack of self-esteem.
90% of the people that come to me for
advice and talk to me
suffer from a lack of self-esteem.
Don't believe in themselves.
They don't think it's possible for them.
They think they were destined
to either be a failure
or just average. There are special
people in this world. There are great
people in this world. There are people
that go on to impact multitudes of
people. People that we said are stars.
Right? Maybe that's where the expression
came from. Except
I don't think the pasuk was talking
about people in Hollywood.
There are people who were put on this
world to become a star.
Not me.
I'm just me. I'm regular.
I maybe if I was different. We don't
believe in ourselves.
It's insanity.
I was speaking for a group of boys a few
weeks ago. I asked them a question.
I asked them
what has more godliness in it?
Reb Chaim Kanievsky
or a rock?
And the answer was obvious.
Reb Chaim Kanievsky. Of course, no?
Anyone disagree with that?
But it's actually wrong.
It's wrong.
They have the exact same amount of
godliness.
What do you mean?
Even the rabbi was sitting next to me
want to throw me off the podium.
I said, "Don't throw me out yet.
Let me prove it to you.
Very simple.
Any mathematicians in the room?
Anyone?
Yeah?
You're mathematician?
You're familiar with math?
Um
can you break infinity into bigger and
smaller pieces?
No. We said that no with certainty,
right? You can't. It's impossible.
Cannot have a bigger piece and a smaller
piece of infinity.
In fact, you actually can't even break
infinity into pieces, can't you?
No, you can't.
You can't.
The Tanya tells us
the Arizal tells us the Nefesh Hachaim
tells us
that every single thing
that exists
exists because
it is living from a spark of godliness.
It's called a chelek Elokai.
And the words of the Tanya is chelek
Elokai mamash.
Now, what's that mean?
That means that inside every single
person
is God.
Lo bashamayim.
You don't have to scream.
You don't have to go up to a top of a
mountain
to find God.
You are an emanation of Hashem or you
wouldn't be here.
It's not possible
TO HAVE A BIGGER AND smaller piece of
God.
If a person believes
THAT THERE'S A BIGGER AND smaller piece
of God, they don't understand the
concept of Ein Sof. They don't
understand the concept of infinity.
The Tanya tells us clearly
that the same godliness that creates a
rock
creates the biggest TZADDIK IN THE
WORLD. And there cannot be bigger and
smaller.
So the answer is the exact same
godliness that resides inside Reb Chaim
Kanievsky, the tzaddik gadol,
is the same godliness that gives a rock
its existence.
What does that What does that have to do
with me? I'm not a rock.
The answer is it debunks this idea
that he can and I can't.
That she's great and I'm not.
What are you TALKING ABOUT?
THE DIFFERENCE between Reb Chaim
Kanievsky and a rock
is how concealed
is the godliness.
In a rock, which is a domain,
it's more concealed. In a tzomeach, in a
rose, you see life.
It's more revealed. In an animal, which
is animated, it's more revealed.
In a gentile, it's more revealed. He
speaks. And in a Jew, it's more
revealed. And Reb Chaim Kanievsky, you
walk into his room and you see IT ON HIS
FACE.
When you walk into a tzaddik, you see
it, don't you? You see the shine. You
feel it.
It's the same godliness that's in you
and me.
It's just revealed.
Self-esteem.
It doesn't exist.
I dare you to find me one mussar sefer,
one, that talks about self-esteem.
No one.
Nobody talks about self-esteem.
Because in those generations, they knew
what a Jew was. They knew what a human
being was capable of.
And they knew that everything we do
is because we are tapping into Ein Sof.
We're tapping into godliness.
And when you tap into godliness,
anything is possible.
All the stupidities of
he's this, I'm that, I don't measure up.
I don't measure up is kefirah.
You understand that it's kefirah?
Because if you're saying that measuring
up is what brings success in life, then
you're saying that you are what's doing
it
instead of Hashem.
If Hashem is doing it, then anything is
possible.
Anything.
This is
why.
This is what we become accustomed to.
We grew up. We had a teacher who said,
"One nasty remark, you'll never amount
to anything."
One friend who said, "Oh, if you were
any smarter, maybe you would get
someplace in life."
And this stuck with us. This label.
This is
something that can literally destroy us.
This is the Satan's worst poison.
We sell ourselves short.
We don't even appreciate what an amazing
version of our self is right there in
our pockets.
This is the ergo that Reb Reb Chaim
Shmulevitz is talking about. We become
accustomed to this. We play it in our
minds all the time.
We also
were brought up in a society
where we think that we're here to enjoy
life.
We think we're here to have fun.
That life is supposed to be easy.
One big vacation.
And it's not.
Rachmana litzlan, how many people get
divorced today?
It's not what I imagined it to be.
Of course, you watched movies when you
grew up. You think that's life.
Adam la'amol yulad. WE WERE HERE TO
TOIL.
REVELATION TAKES TOIL.
The disciple of the Tanya
he was known as the great Srishelyas
says an unbelievable thing.
He says everything that's valuable. Just
talking to my friend Machal.
He's He's the diamond business. He was
telling me about lab-grown diamonds.
How beautiful they are and you can't
even tell THE DIFFERENCE.
BUT EVERYBODY WANTS REAL DIAMONDS.
RIGHT?
WHY?
You know what IT TAKES TO GET A DIAMOND
OUT of the ground? My father was a
diamond cutter. You know what it takes
to cut a diamond?
And then to find one
that isn't flawed, that isn't cracked,
that is the right color.
Where's the value in a diamond? The
value is IT TAKES TOIL and work to get
it out of the ground and make it WHAT IT
IS. THAT'S what gives it its value. To
say yourself, everything. Think about
it. Oil.
You got to drill and drill and iron, you
got to
melt and smelt and chop.
To pull marble out of the ground,
everything of value is encrusted.
It has to be revealed.
Revelation takes work.
But we grew up in a Western society.
We're missing at Nefesh.
Meaning working.
We have a very very low threshold.
As soon as we're uncomfortable, I can't
handle it.
I can't handle it.
I'm maxed out.
I'm stressed out.
How many people go through IT? I'M BURNT
OUT. YOU'RE 30 YEARS OLD, BURNT OUT.
HOW CAN YOU BE BURNT OUT AT 30?
YOU JUST STARTED LIFE. I'm telling you
I'm burnt out.
It's tough. How can you be burnt out at
30?
It's It's It's It's an insane thing.
Our plates are this big. I can't
I can't I'm I can't I can't handle it. I
got too much going on.
You have too much going on? Do you
realize what a person is capable of?
Do you have any idea the capacity
of a human being?
That's why we read stories. We read
stories about Gedolim and we say, "Wow.
How do you do that? How's it possible?"
And we say, "Oh, he
He was obviously special. I mean,
I I would never be able to do 1/10 of
what he does." YOU'RE WRONG.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY WRONG. YOU CAN DO
everything that he did.
YOU'RE KIDDING YOURSELF.
REVELATION TAKES WORK. There's nothing
more delicious.
Nothing.
More pleasurable.
You think going on a vacation is
pleasurable? You think getting a new
piece of jewelry is pleasurable? You
think driving out of a dealership in
your brand new I don't know what with
the new car smell is pleasurable?
TRY FINISHING SHAS.
TRY IT.
I have experienced physical pleasure in
my life, baruch Hashem.
I've experienced other people
who have made millions and billions and
trillions and been inside their private
jets. I could tell you
that the experiencing of saying the last
words in Maseches Niddah
and knowing that you climbed a mountain
for 7 and 1/2 years, night after night,
snowing, raining, weddings, bar
mitzvahs. It didn't matter. Tired, not
tired, hungry, not hungry.
And you're there and you did it.
It's unbelievable. It's indescribable.
It's the most delicious thing in the
world when one day you realize, I
changed.
I used to get angry.
I'd blow up at the small
smallest thing. Look at me now, people
say I'm calm.
I used to be anxious every time
something went wrong. And now I can't
believe it. People say, "I don't
recognize you." You know what it feels
like when a person changes themselves
and they make more of themselves and
they reveal greatness that lies within?
It's an unbelievable feeling. Nothing on
this world compares to it.
But we
became accustomed to the thought
that we're here to enjoy ourselves.
And enjoying yourself
while sometimes is required to recharge
is a recipe
for a life
of mediocrity if not failure.
Exertion
and becoming
addicted
I'll use the word addicted
to work
to discomfort.
You do not grow
when you're comfortable.
You just don't.
It says "V'higisa bo." You have to toil
in Torah. You can't sit with your feet
up
with your latte
with your art scroll
everything perfect and then learn
Gemara.
That's not the way tzaddikim grew up.
There is air conditioning, there's no
air conditioning. You have the art
scroll, you don't have the art scroll.
You're tired, you're hungry. It doesn't
matter.
V'higisa. And the more you exert your
physicality, the greater you become.
The last thing we become accustomed to
is a life of distraction.
It's terrible. It's absolutely terrible.
It's happened in the last 10 years, 15
years.
When I started
teaching kiruv years ago
you had
20 boys, 20 girls in a room.
After 6 months, 70% were in yeshiva.
When they came back from yeshiva, 100%
were shomer Shabbat.
And we saw unbelievable success.
Ask any kiruv rabbi today who his
biggest competition is.
It's that thing on the table that
belongs to me with the Apple symbol on
the back.
It's WhatsApp, Facebook
Snapchat. I I I honestly don't know all
of them.
And none of them are on my phone. They
used to be.
LinkedIn.
It's insidious, like we said. We get
accustomed to it slowly, slowly. I
remember my first Blackberry with the
little Remember the little Blackberry
with the wheel?
Yeah. It was an amazing thing.
I still love that keyboard better. I
made far less mistakes.
It started with email.
Then became text. Then it became
internet. Then it became WhatsApp. And
slowly, slowly, slowly
we lost our minds.
We completely lost our minds.
In my book
I take apart
the essential aspect of a human being
which is called da'at.
There is no English word for da'at.
People use the word knowledge, it's not
the right word.
In Kabbalah
da'at is the neck.
It's what attaches mochin, which is
intellect, to lev, which is emotion.
It's the neck.
It brings information from here to here.
It allows us to feel what we know and
know what we feel. Thank you.
It's living how we essentially are.
It's living in the moment. It's living
in the present. It's seeing things for
what they are.
The things that rob us
tells us the holy Baal Shem Tov of da'at
put us into a state of da'at to be
galut.
Da'at goes into exile.
A person walks around all day.
He prays, he learns, speaks to his wife,
does homework with his kids.
But he's only there on some level.
On some level.
Depending on how much bahala, how much
confusion, distraction you have in your
life, that's the level of presence that
you will have.
And as the generations are going
we're finding less and less da'at.
We're finding people that are
distracted.
Some things
we have no choice. We have to pay our
bills.
We have to go to work. We have to worry
about our clients being happy.
But
that's okay.
It's part of the nisayon.
But then we bring all this stuff upon
us.
We don't spend 2 minutes alone.
We don't spend 5 minutes reflecting on
ourselves.
When we're studying
we keep checking our phones.
When we're with our kids, people are
texting us and emailing us and
WhatsApping us. And somehow
one of the said it to the bro says that
if your phone pings and you don't answer
it within 2 minutes, the world will go
back to a state of nothingness.
Look what we became.
I'm talking to myself.
Yes, we have Shabbat.
I want to tell you something. A few
weeks ago
my wife and I went out for anniversary.
And
of course I bought a beautiful gift.
And she said, "What I really want is
less time competing with your phone."
And I said, "What do you want?" She
said, "Let's start with one thing.
Motzei Shabbat
don't turn on your phone."
Right?
Does anyone here not turn on the phone
right after Shabbat?
Anyone?
First thing?
Right? Watch the email number go up. 3 7
12 16 and then your text ping ping ping
ping ping ping ping ping right?
Right? 2 seconds after Shabbat is over
Shabbat is gone. It's forgotten.
Is it not?
Is it?
It's like we went from there to here.
And literally the time it takes to push
that stupid button on the right side.
And it's not quick enough for the four
bars to come up. Come on already. Let's
go. LET'S GO. AND those are ping ping
ping ping ping right right and that's
it. Shabbat's gone. Shabbat's gone. It's
over. It's finished.
You want to try holding on to Shabbat
till Sunday morning?
Do not open your phone until Sunday
morning.
I'm alive. Look.
I did not break out in hives.
It's 3 weeks since my anniversary.
It's The first week was hard. Now I
almost want to go through Sunday. That's
going to be my next one
that I'm going to go through Sunday
without turning on my phone.
I bought myself a flip phone
and I'm going to try to transfer my
calls from my smartphone
to my dumb phone and see if I can get
till Monday morning without turning it
on.
It's not because I'm some from holy
tzaddik who knows what of a person.
It's because it's destroying me.
It's destroying our marriages. It's
destroying our relationship with our
kids.
We spend time with our kids, but anybody
a total stranger, somebody who means
nothing to us can pull us out of that
moment in 2 seconds cuz they decided to
send us a stupid clip.
It's true. And that stupid clip could be
with me.
DON'T WATCH IT.
GET OFF WHATSAPP. SEE what happens to
you. I got off of it 6 months ago.
Everyone said, "Oh, he'll be back on." 6
months I haven't been on it. Best thing
I ever did. I deleted my LinkedIn
account 3 years ago. All I got was
people driving me crazy all day.
We've become accustomed to thinking that
this is what we need.
We don't.
And one day we're going to look back and
say, "What did I do with my life?"
Thousands and thousands of hours which
we would give anything to get back.
But where did it go? To nothingness.
Shtyot.
Now it was a time to stop and say,
"Where am I and how did I get here?
And what am I buying into?
What has the world convinced me is
normal?
When deep down in the shamash says this
is sick. This is insane.
What do I need it for?
How much better would our lives be
if we can go back to rotary phones
and fax machines with paper that come on
rolls
and so much more time with our wives and
children?
And when we learn a gemara we're
actually there and we're listening to a
shiur. What happened to the kiruv
movement is that the smartphone
Rabbi Gershonfeld
a very close friend of mine said an hour
mussar goes away when the child when the
boy goes to his dorm room and Facebooks
with his girlfriend back in America.
How can I stop that?
15 minutes of Facebook FaceTime,
whatever they're doing. It's gone. It's
over.
It's like we're trying to build a
building on quicksand.
We keep destroying it each time.
It's Elul.
Hashem is yelling at us.
For 2 years almost.
For 2 years Hashem's yelling at us.
Cuz he loves us.
He loves us.
He doesn't want us spending the rest of
our lives in sleep and slumber and
confusion and distraction.
He wants us to look in the mirror and
say
"Is this all there is
to my life?
Is this all I could be?
Is this why I came here?
Is this why our forefathers
were willing to be burned at the stake
so we can come to America and enjoy life
and drive fancy cars
spend our days
with so much emptiness?
Can't be. It's not possible.
Hashem needs more from us.
Hashem needs more from the world.
And if we're if we're not going to be
the trailblazers, if we're not going to
show the world
how to live a more revealed inspired
life, then who will?
Who will? People in Washington? Who?
Who's going to show them?
Every one of us
can be a star.
Every one of us can light the way for
somebody else
like the great people of Chazak are
doing.
You
can be part of Chazak.
There are so many people outside this
room
who don't even know that this room
exists, that don't even know what a
Torah lecture can do for a person. They
don't know how beautiful it is to spend
a Shabbat with a family around the
table.
They don't know the treasures that we
take for granted.
Being a star means going out of your
comfort zone.
Doing something uncomfortable.
Approaching somebody, inviting them.
Volunteering to study with them.
When you see somebody broken, somebody
lost their job, somebody lost their
husband
rachmana litzlan
you push yourself out of your comfort
zone.
Yes, some people naturally
they're relationship people.
We all have to be relationship people.
Klal Yisrael needs everybody to look out
for everybody.
If we walk away tonight
with the thought
that when Yom Kippur comes
one kabbalah
just one.
Not even two. One.
You don't need two. You just need one.
One
important kabbalah.
One thing that you believe right now is
beyond your reach.
One thing that you think
others can do but you can't.
Prove to the satan
that he's wrong.
Prove to the satan that you could do it.
I guarantee you
you will have unbelievably siyata
dishmaya.
Unbelievable you will become addicted
to doing things that you always thought
you could never do.
With that you will begin the process of
revealing
the greatness that's within you.
And if every person
continues to reveal godliness
comes closer to being Rav Chaim
Kanievsky and less like a rock
without a question Hashem will end this
bitter galus that we're in.
And we'll go together
with this Beit Midrash
to Israel Moshiach Tzidkeinu bimheira
beyameinu amen.