Sarri Singer and Strength to Strength Featured on JM in the AM

JM in the AM on a Thursday and Sarah Singer is with us live via telephone on June the 11th of 2003. Sari Singer was severely injured when a suicide bomber exploded the number 14 bus that she was riding on in Jerusalem, changing the trajectory of the rest of her life. 17 people were killed, including all those seated and standing around her. And more than 100 people were injured. Her physical wounds were only the beginning. The years that followed required navigating trauma, loss, identity, and the long often invisible process of rebuilding a life after terror. This traumatic event changed her life in an instant and reshaped everything that followed. She not only made the decision to recover and rebuild with few resources for support, but to become a voice for other victims of terror anywhere in the world. Her personal journey expanded into global advocacy. She founded Strength to Strength, a worldwide network supporting victims of terror and trauma across cultures and communities. Through this work, she has spent years listening to, learning from, and walking alongside survivors around the world. Today, she speaks from lived experience and long perspective, educating and inspiring students and advocating globally for national policies that establish clear long-term consequences for terror. Uh Sari Singer, a pleasure to welcome you to JM in the AM. >> Thank you for having me back. It's been a while. >> Well, you said to me off the air the attack was in June of 2003. And based on your memory, because I don't remember, but based on your memory and what you told me, within a month or two after the attack, you actually appeared on this show. >> Yeah. at when we brought in a group of victims from Israel, a trip that I'd been planning and wasn't supposed to be on. I ended up remember I remember doing your show >> and unfortunately you ended up on and you ended up on the trip because you were a a terrorist surv a a terror survivor. >> Correct. Correct. And I feel like, you know, as as the years go on, as much as, you know, time goes on, that day comes back to me many many times, especially in the recent, you know, last two years with October 7th, you know, we we move forward and we deal with it, but it's still there. It doesn't ever go away, >> right? And people talk about traumatic experiences and terrible loss and sudden loss and and loss of of people still in their youth, in their families, and they always talk about how the pain is always there. It may be a little bit more dull or it might feel a bit different but the pain as you indicate is always present. How would you describe how you feel today 23 years later compared to, you know, the summer weeks after the terror attack when you appeared on this show? Like that there's there has to be some type of evaluation or some type of general perspective you could give us about the I know I I get the similarities and I'm not arguing with you, God forbid, but what about the differences? How different is today compared to then? >> I mean, I definitely feel, you know, everything I've done since that day. I became an advocate for victims of terrorism to help build meaningful support systems for them, strengthen community among those that have been impacted and to help shape policy both to support victims and to work to prevent future attacks. And for me, what began as a personal tragedy has grown into a global mission to ensure that victims are not isolated, that they never feel alone, and that their voices are heard. And so, while back then, you know, immediately after the attack, you feel like the victim, I feel like in those 22 almost 23 years, it has given me the strength and the ability through helping other victims and being there to support them to be able to be stronger. And as the you know the name of the organization strength to strength we give strength to each other. >> We as regular people who thank God have not been involved in these types of episodes. We don't realize how many of these episodes actually take place on a regular basis around the world. Right. >> Absolutely. And sometimes the media especially here in the US doesn't even pick it up. >> And and you know for my work internationally I'm keyed into all this stuff. You know, it for the last 20 plus years, I've been speaking internationally. I serve on a number of of boards of organizations that work not only to elevate victims voices, but to help build strong community networks. And that's really important to me that I'm not only working to help victims to make sure that they're okay, but we're helping to to try and prevent things from happening going forward. And that's something that's very empowering for victims is to feel like that whatever we've been through that there's something and there's a reason and a purpose for why we've been through the experience that we've had. >> Rachel Moore was the one who originally uh suggested we have you on the air and in the email that she sent, she writes about the Oklahoma bombing and I'm like, "Oh yeah, Oklahoma bombing and the attack in Finland." And I'm like, "Oh yeah, the attack in Finland and Ireland." And I'm, "Oh yeah, the attack in Ireland." And you know, obviously we we these are the ones we knew about. You know, I get your point about the media, but these are the ones we knew about. And yet, you know, they're out of our memory until, you know, we're jolted, until we actually, you know, are reminded about it and then all of a sudden we say, "Wow, there have been so many of these episodes and unfortunately so many victims around the world." Um, and and what is it? I don't even know if you could put this into words. And and again, you know, those of us who thank God have never experienced it. You know, it's such a frightful thought, but you experienced it. So maybe you can verbalize it when everyone around you is either killed or injured and and you are the lone survivor. I mean, you look back at that aspect of it. In what way? How do you deal with that? >> So I think that there are two re two things that can happen. First of all, for me, they told me that the terrace was very close to me. They said it was about two people standing away from me. I was seated in the la in the last row on the front of the bus. So, that last seat next to the window before the door and next to me there was a girl that was sitting next to me and her boyfriend was standing. They thought that the terrace was next to the boyfriend based on the impact of the people that didn't survive in that area cuz the rose in front of me didn't survive, the girl and her boyfriend. And I had two ways to look at it. I could either be the victim that the terrorist wanted and let the pain and the trauma that I experienced eat me up inside or I could take that pain and take that trauma and do something with it. And so there was no thought in my mind that every day that I share and everything I do is a memory of those 17 innocent people on my bus that didn't get to go home to their family members. And I keep that in mind no matter what. But do you know how many people do the former and we've had this conversation on the air um with you know especially now we've spoken about PTSD and the you know post-war thing that's happening in Israel obviously the entire nation's being affected you how many people have chosen the former and maybe choice is the wrong word but how many people have gone ahead and and become victims of the former of just you know like you know essentially u you know not being able to get up the next morning, not being able to, you know, be productive on an average day. >> Yeah. >> Absolutely. And that's why we exist. That's why I found a strength of strength because when I came back to from to is to the states from Israel after living there a year after the attack where I had this support around me, I had a community that understood. I came back to the states and I had no support around me. And when I tried to reach out to the 911 community, I was told I wasn't a 911 survivor, so I couldn't be included. And my parents always taught me that when you can't find what you're looking for, you create it yourself. And so I created Strength to Strength to be a global peer support group that no matter where a victim is, that they never feel alone. And we run lots of programs to bring people together to foster connection and peer support. And one example is our upcoming retreat which we're bringing together victims from Israel, from 9/11, from Germany, um from Finland, from Oklahoma City, Boston, London, Manchester, some people survived attacks in Uganda and we're bringing them together for a weekend retreat next month. We currently have 41 people participating and unfortunately we have 15 people on the waiting list including three people from Israel because we just our funding is limited and we and it prevents us from bringing in everyone. Sarah Singer is with us live via telephone June of 2003. She was a survivor of the bus bombing in Urusim. She responded by creating strength to strength. Let me go through these details as she just outlined for us. They are hosting a an annual they they host an annual retreat. Every year they have a retreat. This year it's scheduled for March the 6th through March the 8th at the Hyatt in Fort Le, New Jersey. There are now, as she said, about 40 participants, terror victims and their families who are coming from the Oklahoma bombing. That was April of 95, I believe. 9/11, of course, the attack in Finland and Ireland that I referenced earlier, several attacks in Israel. Ari Fold's widow, Miriam, is going to be in. The weekend is a healing retreat with therapeutic conversations, but also community building as they remain a source of support for each other year round. And in order to bring in, as you said, the people on the waiting list from Israel and the people on the waiting list from around the world, you need money to do so. Is there is there a figure? Is there a campaign? Are we simply giving out a uh a reference to a donate button online? How do people support this effort if they want to be part of it? Go >> you can go to our website stglobal.org. That's sosglobal.org. You can go to our donate button and make a donation. And everything that we raise, 100% goes towards the program. We're an all volunteer-driven organization. So, everything that we raise goes directly to supporting our victims. >> And you could bring in the three people from Israel if you raise how much? Like what's what's the what's the, you know, the thumbnail sketch of how uh how these finances work? >> So, we need another $20,000 to bring in everybody, including the three Israelis. That's what we're looking for right now. Strength is strength needs $20,000. And as we say, as I said earlier, even in the home stretch of our own campaign here at JM and the AM, we always always even during our campaigns feature worthy campaigns and worthy efforts uh that deserve our support. Strength to strength is S to OS. I assume that's strength of strength. Sosglobal.org. s tsglobal.org. You can really help them in this case round out the population of this special event that they're having, the retreat that they're having in Fort Lee March 6th through 8th by giving and giving generously. Just go to the strength to strength website. It's sos global.org. Hit the donate now button and help them connect, share, and heal with victims of terror. Siri Singer is with us live via telephone. So tell me about some of the changes you've seen because I described earlier, you know, people who are down in the dumps can't get up in the morning and understandably so because of the situation they're in. You would argue through your work with Strength of Strength and you have seen people, I'm sure you would argue this, you've seen people transform themselves and utilize the uh advice and the encouragement and inspiration they've gotten from people like you to really turn things around. Tell me about some of those personal experiences. >> Absolutely. I mean, we see people we have a we have a victim coming in from Israel who hasn't gotten a on a plane by herself and for the first time she's getting on a plane to come into the retreat because she desperately needs support. She hasn't uh she hasn't left her home much. She stays inside. She works from home. She, you know, she's got some support animals, but she really doesn't get out as much as she should. and our retreats and our programs because there's much more than just retreats that we do. But our programs give people the opportunity to meet others that have been through a similar experience that they can now connect with and they can talk with and that when they are at their worst, they are finding somebody a peer that really can help them through it. And I always say that when we go through the worst things in our lives, we need to reach out for support. We need to find somebody, find the people around us that can give us the strength, that can give us the ability to move forward and to be okay. And that's not always an easy thing to find, but we have to find it. And we need to keep searching and not give up. And people need to realize that. >> Yeah. >> No, I was gonna say unfortunately you have a large pool of people in Israel to pull from >> because unfortunately there's so many victims of terror that that number one have gone through this experience and we know this from featuring some of them like yourself on the air. There are some who are extremely inspiring and really help give people the strength they need. >> Absolutely. I always say like I was inspired on that three-week trip that I took with the Israelis. They saved me. Some of the stories are some of the biggest stories of the time during the second and defa family members that helped me. >> Meaning meaning in the summer of 03. >> Yeah, absolutely. I sat on the bus on the rides that we had throughout the US touring and speaking. I was sitting with Israelis who while I was nervous to be on the bus. They were there with me holding my hand making sure I was okay and telling me that you know how my future is going to look discussing with them what happened it would to talk about it was the most therapeutic thing for me and I think that anyone who's going through something when you keep it inside that's where the trauma fers you need to talk about these things and that's what I did in those three weeks helped me tremendously that when I got back to Israel and boarded a flight on September 3rd to go back I was much stronger not because I was home but because I had spent those three weeks with the Israelis who knew what I was going through. >> How is it for you getting on a bus today? >> So, it's very interesting. Um, in Israel, I've only gotten back on a bus once, and that was at my 9-year anniversary. It's really hard for me to get on on public transport, especially in Jerusalem. Um, in New York, I don't get on the subway. I'll take the bus. Um, I think that on the bus, I feel that I can get out faster. Where the subway, I can't get out. So, I don't take the subway. My friends all know I do not take the subway in New York. Um, but the bus I seemed I I'm I'm always like aware and watching everything around me as I I think I have been for the last 20some years. I'm in a restaurant, I'm watching that door. It's just what happens and that's something that we live with, you know, that we're always looking around and and in Israel especially, do I am I there all I love being there, but I'm just a little more cautious about where I am and where I'm going. >> You know, it's so interesting. I was sitting with an Israeli I've told this story before on the air. Couple of months ago, I was sitting with an Israeli at a New York restaurant, very popular restaurant. Many, many people go there every day and night. And um I see him looking around the entire I'm what are you looking for? He says, "Do you realize how easy it is for someone to get in here and just shoot up the place? >> There's not even a guard in front. You know, in Israel, obviously you're used to guards or at least somebody in front of the restaurant, etc." And I'm like, "Wow." And this is somebody who, thank God, is not a victim of terror, but again, because they grew up in Israel and have lived there their entire life, this is what they think about when they come to a restaurant that's not as secure as they would like, etc., etc. So, you you go anywhere, it sounds like public transport or public places, and you're looking around and you're, you know, trying to determine, you know, what the situation. >> Last night, I was with a friend for dinner in a restaurant in Manhattan. I always sit, I like sit facing towards the door if I can, and I kept looking for a little bit. Nothing too bad, but I'm looking to see who's coming in. It's just that it's a reflex. It's something that I've just gotten used to over the years. >> Where are you generally? Are you a resident of Israel or the United States? >> I'm still a resident of the United States, although I'd like to be a resident of Israel. Um, I'm between New York and New Jersey. >> Not not a criticism, just a curiosity, that's all. Sarah Singer is with us live via telephone. We have an opportunity to help them make the March 6th retreat a soldout retreat by bringing in all the victims of terror who want to be there uh to participate and to really gain from the experience. Uh anybody out there who would like to help out, go to SER's website. It's a strength to strength website, but you got to make sure you have the right address. It is uh stglobal.org. SOS for strength to strength. So, sosglobal.org, hit the donate now button. You'll see the the mission there. You'll see the whole story. And of course, uh the goal is to try to help her uh secure the funds necessary for the for the March 6th retreat in Fort Lee, New Jersey. Siri, anything else you'd like to add? >> Just thank you for all your support and we can only do this with uh the help of people. The only way for our programs to happen is when people help support us. So, thank you. Thank you for being such a supporter of ours, Nakam. We really appreciate it. >> Oh, my pleasure. I can't believe we spoke 23 years ago, but uh I I guess I have to say a pleasure to reunite. >> I love it. Love it. Love it. Thank you. >> Let us know if we could be of any help in the future. Sarah Singer, everybody, if you want to give, and I hope you will give something, sos global.org, or bringing together victims of terrorism and their families around the world and obviously doing an amazing job for our brothers and sisters in these situations in Israel. Sosglobal.org. More coming up. You're listening to a Thursday morning edition of JM in the AM.