Nachum and Steven Moskowitz - Navigating Cancer Through the Lens of Torah and Positivity

It's America's one and only Jewish moments in the morning radio program heard on listener sponsored digital radio around the world web single.com on the single network and of course in the beloved NSN app. So I uh I earlier in this show I mentioned that we're going to meet somebody this morning. This is how I put it. I put it the following way. said, "Somebody who is in a challenging situation, a health situation, and yet insists on remaining positive." Um, he was pretty happy with that description, but added something to it, which we're going to introduce right now as we introduce Mr. Steve Moscowitz, who is with us in our studio this morning at JM. A pleasure to welcome you to JM in the AM. >> Thank you very much, Nakam. Thank you very much for providing this platform for me. And I also want to thank uh Ralph Rosenbalam who's uh a co-member of the >> Mr. Chairman. >> Mr. Chairman, the youngest relief Brunswick and Rabbi Waser sends his regards to >> Oh, I appreciate that very much. Lift that mic like half an inch. Um so when we say you're in a challenging health situation, uh you added to that before this show. You said navigating, how did you put it? navigating >> na navigating cancer through the lens of Torah >> because there's a way to navigate cancer or any illness >> of course >> through the lens of Torah. How did you discover that? Are you a Torah scholar and you've applied what you've known over the years to your situation or did you discover it a different way? Well, I actually have smika and my life has always been around Torah and uh that's the the bottom line is that's the only path you can take in a situation like mine is put you know ain't no there's only Hashem you know the bottom line that's where you have to go >> and uh and you never gave this a thought before you were ill or I shouldn't assume that. >> No, no, of course I did. I of course I did. Um I mean through throughout my whole life I've been trying to connect Hashem always stronger and stronger but I've had my setbacks certainly with this disease and uh you know I navigated through it. In the beginning it was very difficult and as I tell my story and my journey really my journey you'll see how I developed my how I came back because I did lose it for a while. It's interesting and the reason I asked it the way I asked it just now is because generally speaking and I I hate to generalize and I hate to condemn all of humanity but the reality is that when one is healthy they generally don't spend too much time thinking about their mortality or or acknowledging even to themselves that there is a being a spirit a leader of all of us who's responsible for our good health And that of course being the one above, >> right? Certainly when you're younger, you don't think about it. And when you reach my age, 70, you start thinking about it. >> You don't look 70. >> Well, I I've lost a bit of hair through this process. >> I get that. But you you still look much younger than that. It's funny. >> Well, Barakash, >> I could have made an argument that I'm older than you. That's something. >> Barakashem, I feel well. >> Hashem has been very good to me. >> When did this whole adventure begin? >> Uh, began in August of 24. >> Wow. >> My diagnosis. less than two years ago. >> Less than two years ago and most people don't survive this is the part particularly in separate disease because there's really no warning and the the symptoms are very mild >> meaning cancer in general or this type >> no this type. So uh >> which you are going to reveal or you won't. >> Yes, of course. It's uh adocarcinoma of my pancreas and liver stage 4. And in general, pancreatic cancer has this reputation for being >> right. Right. Usually when di by the time it's diagnosed, it's at stage four, right? And it's only a couple of months >> because there's no there's no screening for it or there's no warning or symptomatic, etc., etc. >> Believe it or not, they're developing new things and new screening all the time. So, we're always always hopeful. They're working on Look, Hashem created the Ratia through a fool before the Maka. Yeah, that we know. So the the the cure is out there. We just have to ask a kadesh bar to put it embedded imbue it into these scientists so that they make the right decisions and they find the right ways to cure the all of these. >> Steve Moscowitz is here. You prefer Steve or Steven? >> Either one. >> As I'm older, I prefer Steven. >> Do as a kid they called me Stevie and then I >> Stevie to Steve, right? >> Um so what is that like? because I assume there is a session with a medical professional or team where they tell you that you have stage 4 pancreatic cancer. >> Well, I it wasn't told to me directly. I picked up bits and pieces. Well, as I as I tell you my story and my journey, you you'll understand the process of how I came to understand exactly what >> starting two summers ago. >> Starting two summers ago. >> Okay. So, what what makes you go to a doctor? Well, I had some mild stomach ache that so lasted about 3 weeks. Um, you know, something everybody go it wasn't acute pain. It was just like a lot of grumbling, but it didn't go away. Usually, you know, when you have that a day or two and it's over, but this kept on going for a couple of weeks and I was due for my annual >> and I decided to to, you know, check myself out. But they didn't catch it at first. They didn't uh they they overlooked it. But subsequently, >> well, what test could catch it? An X-ray, like what could catch it? >> Uh, MRI type of thing, but they >> that you'd have to schedule and actually go out of your way to do, >> but I had it done, but they uh I had a sonogram done. >> And even with that, it didn't show up. >> They It didn't pick up. It didn't pick up. >> Okay. >> And uh subsequently um so it didn't pick up. And when I was in Israel, um my wife noticed from a distance that I was my skin looked yellowish. And um I have a good friend who just made a Dr. Jack Stro and he was there. We were at a wedding together and I had all the numbers my my enzymes my liver enzymes were through the roof and the doctor didn't pick up on it. You know he said come back in a couple of months gave me pills and but I knew something was something was off. Th >> those symptoms normally the the layman thinks is hepatitis. >> Yeah. There are a lot of liver diseases. It could be many things. It could be pancreatitis. It could be many. Got it. >> But so but I initially I mean I didn't know what to expect. >> Um so what was going on was I I had extreme fatigue when I went we went to Israel for the simka and uh I I attributed it to jet jet lag jet lag initially >> and but it wasn't going away and it was getting worse and I couldn't move and I missed the sima and uh when I met with we went to this wedding um subsequently and Dr. Jack Row was there and he told me I have to go home. Cut my vacation short. Go directly to the hospital. >> Wow. >> And that's what we did. So I didn't even go home. Straight from the airport. Went directly. Yeah. >> Directly. He said, "You can't waste any time. You have to go directly to the hospital." >> And then >> And then uh >> that was the day you found out? >> No, I found out a little bit later, but it was bits and pieces. I heard my wife say a little bit overhearing. You know, I was in and out the the entire I wasn't totally conscious. So they were >> So they're willing to speak to you about it until you're fully aware of what's going on >> right now. But I I took the attitude. So I I I'll if if you allow me to tell you my story. >> Hey, why you're here. >> Okay. So um the way I I begin because I've spoken a number of times. I mean my my objective here is to give physic to people. Okay. knowing what I'm going through and hopefully if I can if one person can benefit from what I'm saying, I've achieved my goal. Okay. But anyway, so I >> I don't even know how to respond to that. That's I'm I'm sitting here with my mouth wide open as you say that. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring your comment. It's like this is your role now to provide skis with the people and if one or more people >> gain some strength, some mental strength and absolutely >> fortitude from it, then you've accomplished your goal. >> Right. It is obvious that Hashem has given me extra time because most people do not have this. Most people within a year are gone and I'm bar all of a sudden I'm I'm looking at year month 20 already and I still feel great. My numbers are good. Everything is copathetically >> and and what did you or your doctors do that others may not have done? >> You know, everybody reacts to diseases in a different way. meaning physically they >> physically um >> cuz we know people who were gone within 6 months and we also know people who had what you had I saw this story on the news and just ran a New York City marathon or one of the marathons >> but they're very few >> right I'm saying but but it does I mean there is a range though there are people who are able to recover >> well more than more than uh 50% don't make it the first year >> right >> and the second year I mean the you know the numbers are even lower and the third year even lower >> but Hashem gave me this extra time and I have to do something with it, something positive, and I know that I can help people. >> I know you're in the middle of the story, but was your attitude always like this? A month after you found out, was it like this? >> It It was always like this. >> It was always like this. >> Yeah. Because that's the only way you can do >> The day after you found out, your attitude was like this. >> Absolutely. You have to be positive. That's one of the ingredients to trying to >> Do you think it's one of the reasons you survived so long? >> Uh that and the fact that my wife was uh without my wife, I'm nothing. She took care of me. She nursed me back to health. Uh, and you know, selflessly. And it is just >> Does she have the same positive attitude you have? >> Yes, I believe she does. >> Wow. >> I would put her to the I mean, she can pick up a mic and >> Well, we're not doing that now, but >> we're in the middle of your story for a moment. Yeah. >> Yeah. So, go ahead. So, now >> Okay. So, normally I I start off with a joke. I mean, because this isn't the way I usually do it. Usually, I'm just given the platform and I go. So, I usually start off with a joke, which I'll which I'll tell. >> Yeah. And >> raise that mic and drop. Yeah. >> And it's it's not in the best of taste, but I'll explain it as I go along. Right. >> Um, so a man goes to uh the doctor for a checkup, and the doctor calls him back with the results, and he says, "Listen, I'm sorry. I have good news and I have bad news." >> I think we noticed one. You go ahead. >> Which one do you want to hear first? >> Well, this one I assume it's with the wife, right? >> No, >> it's not. >> No. No. Okay. Go ahead. >> So, he says, "Well, I want to hear the bad news first." So the doctor says, "I don't I'm sorry to tell you, but you have terminal cancer and you're going to die. What's the good news?" I mean, after hearing that, what could the good news be? You have Alzheimer's. A severe case of Alzheimer's. So then he says, "Okay, well, at least I don't have cancer." Very good. >> So, uh, you know, it may sound >> dark humor here on a Thursday morning. >> It's dark humor, but you know, there's a there's a purpose to it, right? um you know um it parallels to the Torah. Well, first let me tell you who I am. My name is Steve Moscowitz. I live in East Brunswick. Um I have Barak Hashem more than a handful of children and Kayahara. I have a lot of grandchildren and even great grandchildren. >> Wow. >> Yeah. So Barak Hashem. So um getting back to the story um so the this parallels to the to basically with the Torah I asked my oncologist what type of personality fares best in situation like this. So he said somebody who's very positive if you can laugh if you can joke about it and not take yourself too seriously and and carry on with your life. He's suggesting what that under those circumstances you'll live longer. >> The these live better or what you live better and if you have the prop attitude means a lot believe it or not I can hear that. >> I mean what's on the outside you know internalizes. >> Yeah. So, and it parallels to the Torah because you know if you you know we say but we also the Gmorra says but we increase joy in and we less enjoy the month of >> but there is always no matter what and we see through throughout okay we see it says many times in uh you know all over the place and live who says in in Mish that you know somebody who's happy is healthy. Okay. So I'm going to tell you uh there's a inis there is a gamura which relates a story. The story is that uh Ravosa or happened upon Elu Hanavi at the shook and he asked Elahu who over here has olhaba. Elahu points out to two people. See these two people they have olhaba. So Abdula goes over to them and asks them what do you do? So he says uh they say we're gestures. We make sad people happy and we arbitrate, you know, situations that need arbitration and we make sure that people walk away walk away happy. So, uh, so now we we've established that people who make other people happy, >> right? >> So, I'd like to induce somebody else into this frame of olhaba. And this is a comedian that people are very familiar with and I had an incredible experience with him and he had he had uh Roshim on me had a real impact on me. His his name is Elon Gold. I'm sure you've heard him. He's a great comedian. So before um on the onset of this, we decided that we're going to live our lives fully. We're not going to stop and change anything about the way we live. Uh we my wife had gotten tickets for his concert uh right before we became ill and for some strange reason we she also got uh backstage passes. So we saw the show was very nice and we go to to meet Elon and he looks at me and he puts his hand on my shoulder. He doesn't know me from Adam and he says you now let me explain the situation. I was 4 days out of the hospital. I couldn't take two steps. Okay. I was in a wheelchair and by the way there are some certain perks to being in a wheelchair. You get the placard the the parking is free and it adds certain, you know, access to the plane. They take you right up to the plane. So, you know, there's some perks to this. Anyway, he puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "You have to have Hashem and what and like I thought it was like Shmayam opened up and this bos came down and he was just he kept on going. Don't give up and don't listen to what the doctors tell you. They're not Hashem. You have to follow their protocol, but the rest you leave to Hashem. >> Wow. >> And he had such an impact on me. And that and that that's what I decided to do. We decided that I don't have to know every single detail because if I look, I I knew I knew the situation that I was in. I didn't exactly know how much time I have and you know exactly um >> none of us know that, >> right? For sure. Somebody can be hit by a car for shalom. So, you never know when your day comes. But I decided that I don't want to know every detail. I know all the numbers and I know the situation, but I I don't know everything. >> What is your typical day like physically now? Like, are you on a lot of medication? I am. Are you required to do X, Y, or Z? You can just have a normal day. Like, what's the story? >> Well, right now I'm on chemo. Well, I'll be on chemo for the rest of my life. Uh, and chemo is is a little bit tough. I mean a certain time, you know, now that we've >> How many days a week? >> Uh, so I'm on chemo every other week and I I'm in the >> So, one complete week and then and then a week off, >> right? So, it's an infusion center for about 5 hours and then they send me home with a pump. >> 5 hours a day. >> No, no, no, no. Once every two weeks, like every second Monday. >> Okay. Now, I was confused. >> I'm at the infusion center. >> Every 14 days you go for 5 hours, >> right? And they pump in the poison. But I don't look at it as poison. I look at it as the rapport. >> How bad is it? How bad are the side effects for the first 24 48 hours? >> So in the beginning I it was really very easy for you and I that's part of the reason of my success because I was able to tolerate chemo cuz most people after a certain amount of time that's it. They can't do it takes it to >> it's very it's very very taxing. Um it's very difficult but you know you get used to it and you think about the alternative and you think you think about you know that Hashem gave you this gift that he could because years ago you gone in no time but they they're constantly coming up with medications. I mean, we have a friend like two years ago. He had the exact same thing I did and his the combination of chemo was as of yet not approved by the FDA and he would have lived a lot longer and a few months right before I became ill, it was approved and that's what I'm on now. >> So, in the immediate aftermath of that infusion, you're still okay or it's a rough period of time? >> After they they uh they take off the pump, you have a nurse come to the house and they, you know, take the pump away. That's when I start feeling lousy for the next two three or four days. >> And everyone around you knows this. Oh yeah. That it's going to be a rough >> Yeah. Yeah. Fatigue. You know, sometimes it's easier than others. Uh basically it's fatigue and nausea. You know, there's medication for all of that. The fatigue and spaciness. I I'm very very loopy and I feel that my cog my cognitive ability has has diminished quite a bit uh because of the chemo. So, I assume you didn't have it this past Monday. >> I I did. >> You did have it this past Monday. >> Well, not a week ago. >> I'm saying. So, yeah. >> This coming Monday, I'll have it again. >> Yeah. Yes. >> Meaning last Thursday was rougher than today. >> Yes. >> Yeah. That's what I was That's the point I was trying to make. >> Yes. Yes. But but usually after towards the end of the week, I'm almost back. I'm never completely back to myself because I'm always a little bit loopy because the chemo stays in your body for months. >> Uh but I'm able to function normally and I I don't have any pain. Barashem basically it's just like loopiness and and fatigue >> and we got to speak more about the inspiring and spiritual aspect of this but I'm just curious um so you you have you have you you've already been resigned to the fact that you're on this the rest of your life right this this >> regiment of medication chemo as you refer to it >> and um and despite all that you're able to maintain ain a very positive attitude throughout. I mean with my point being that you're in here today with this very important message and I'm just curious if nonetheless understandably you hit your low points and you know there are times when you break down from this whole attitude or am I wrong you're able to maintain it constantly? >> Well I I'll tell you what I went through. I mean I'll skip a lot of it but I'll tell you what what the mo what the important thing is. Um so it's very important to be positive. Okay. And uh and you you know they say laughter is the best medicine but you know chemo has something to say about that. >> Yeah I would imagine so. >> Yeah. But there's also there were other factors. This hope hope is very important. >> Um and we learn that out from the Torah very very clearly. Um with the moraglin okay when the >> coming up soon >> coming up soon when the Jews started complaining >> about uh you know they're going to destroy us. were going to die in the desert. >> So they lost all hope. And somebody who loses hope, hope is so important. If you lose hope, you're digging your own grave. And why do I say that? It's in the Torah. The mafaram say that every tishabove uh you know after you know you know the 600,000 would not make it for four you know within 40 years they would all die. That mean 15,000 would die every single year. So Mfarian say they had to dig their graves and those that were walked out a reference to that, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. So So you're digging your own grave. But though there's another story on I think it's on you know he was the king of Israel. Okay. And um he was a king and he so what happened was he was very sick. He was on his on his he was on his deathbed >> and um the the uh the Nvy came over to him Vishaya and to say goodbye to him cuz he was about to die and uh Milai so he so says what is going on why am I dying why is Hashem doing this to me he says because you interfered in Hashem's plans cuz who knew that he was going to have a son Nasha who's the most wicked of all kings of of you know Jewish kings >> and uh so said okay so let's remedy this you have a daughter I'll marry I'll marry your daughter and we'll get past this >> so uh Vinovi says to him it's too late was done already >> right >> okay and uh you you're going to die and you can't change that so um he he challenged that and he sent he sent the Nvy out right away and he did shuva and being that he was from the house of Davidid And he learned from David, you know this the line with which the Gmorra says that even if you have the sword a sharp sword on your neck, you're about to be executed. Don't hold yourself back from davening to Hashem asking. >> And it turned over and Hashem listened to him and he and he was forgiven and he did the right thing. And uh there there we see that no matter what it is, you can turn things around if you ask Hashem. So you always have to have hope. >> So you so you're not convinced that there won't be a miracle that you know that'll cure you. You There are people who go to the doctor one day and everything that they were you know all their symptoms are gone that you know they the doctor's sitting there looking at an X-ray like I can't believe it. Last time I saw this X-ray it was awful and today it's perfect. >> Yeah. It doesn't happen very often >> but but you are the possibility is there. >> Correct. In other words, that's part of your hope. No. >> Absolutely. Abs, absolutely. So, so that so that's very >> Do you do the thing? Do you ever sit there going, why me? >> I'll tell you exactly. Now, I'll tell you my story, my spiritual uh turmo turmoil that I went through. Uh so, I never had that that thought, why me? But what I did now, you know, there's a very thin line between Giva and Anivvas, okay? But I in order for you to understand where I'm coming from, I have to tell you what I So I I do have uh I received about eight years ago from uh yeshiva in Israel. Ian Hala Ravi Raf Shankleski uh gave me Sumika. I run the the Kadisha in East Brunswick. I I do dyom. I've been doing dafomi for the last 17 years every single day of my life. uh nay mikra I'm involved in in my shul in many many ways I brought the Torah level up in my sh you know through through learning I I've introduced a >> have we met before cuz I've been in your sh a couple of times >> uh >> you've never met before >> I don't think so >> go ahead I'm sorry I don't you elevated the Torah >> I I've elevated the Torah in my community a bit and I I've done a lot of things and I was just like shocked when this happened to me because I couldn't understand how Hashem could possibly >> I'm such a good guy. How could it be? >> Right. It it it's like it was like very very difficult for me to accept. So, initially um I >> Interesting. >> I pushed everything aside. I said, "Hashem, this is not I I was so angry. I I can't begin to tell you >> really. I I felt abandoned. I I I felt uh uh betrayed by Hashem. And I I couldn't even think about Hashem. And I pushed everything aside. and my mother's yard site was coming up and I wasn't able to go to shul at that point anyway uh because I used to go to shu every single morning >> so my mother's yard site was coming up and I you know for my mother I have to do what I have to do so I I made it to shul I d for the id gave a tikka and I I said varra and you know even though you don't have my head wasn't in the right place I didn't feel connected to hashem >> and then one day but I forced myself to start to coach shoe not every day cuz I don't feel well every day. So I remember the one day I had my pump with me and at that point you know it's very difficult with the pump, you know, you have the lines and you're wearing titus and everything gets tangled and so it's easy sometimes to just hold the pump in your hand. >> Right. >> Away from your body. >> Away from your body. So what happened was I I slept it and it fell. And I remember saying I don't know if I said it to myself or I said it out loud. Oh, this is my ball and chain. And all of a sudden, I had an epiphany. And I said, "You idiot. That's not your ball and chain. >> That's your That's your lifeline. That's your lifeline." >> And for some reason, everything turned around in my head. And I looked at everything in a positive sense. Okay, I'm sick. I know, but look what Hashem is doing for me. He's giving me this tips of time. And it was it was >> well first of all I'm glad to hear that you're normal because the initial reaction is the one that I expect most people to be going through the anger the betrayal the questioning etc. So, thank God. I mean, thank God. Uh, I'm glad to hear, again, the wrong expression, but it it it's somewhat uh comforting that someone like yourself in this very positive atmosphere did go through that because many of us, even when we're not in life-threatening situations, thank God, when we are in challenging medical situations, it takes time to regain that, you know, that that positive look, right? um and and and not go through this, you know, the woe is me stage. So, I'm glad to hear you're normal. That's number one. Steve Moscow is here. If you're if you're just tuning in, he's um he is a pancreatic cancer stage 4 patient, yet very capable as he's demonstrating of having a very positive attitude as he continues to move forward, one foot in front of the other, one day after the next. Right. Absolutely. Today started off a great day. >> Yesterday was a good day. Tomorrow's going to be a good day. >> It's going to be even better. What do you mean? >> Even better day. >> Every day is going to be better. >> Shabas is shabasak. >> Absolutely. >> Which means strength. >> Have my grandchildren for shabas. >> Oh, you're the luckiest guy in the world. >> You bet. >> Are you kidding? >> You know, you know what it is? You have to count your blessings. I have so many brahas, you know, that surround me in my life. And that's what I have to focus on. That's why you have to listen everybody faces terrible challenges and everybody at one point will pass you know but you know you have to make the mess the best of it and uh you know and you know the most difficult part of it of course is with my family >> um you know my kids had a very hard time I wasn't privy to it my wife set up a group chat just just >> the children mine is dad just the children because they had to you know speak to each other and express their concerns and you know etc. I wasn't privy to that. But now, you know, I I don't know that they think that I'm okay. I tell them that I'm not okay. I'm okay now, >> right? >> But, you know, don't think that this is going away. >> In May of 2010, my brother was diagnosed with esophageal cancer stage stage 4. >> He was gone by February 4th of 2011. I think it was February 4th. It was the Tuesday after Super Bowl Sunday. And so, he had a he had a really rough 10 months. I mean you you know just you could imagine not even 10 months. What am I talking about? May yeah nine months even less cuz I think um it was ironic he he lained parasi that was his bar mitzvah para and then a day or two later he was diagnosed like that was his last public act. Anyway, why do I bring this up? Aside from the fact that the audience is intimately familiar with uh the situation of my late brother because every year on his yard site, I encourage people to get endoscopies and to you know go get screening tests which has already saved some of the people who listen to this show. Uh but I bring it up because one of the most I was very close with him and one of the most painful things of my entire life was watching him suffer. It was so difficult. And trust me, he had it a lot worse than I did. I can tell you that much. But it's just, you know, so when you mention your kids and those around you who are concerned and who are going through their own issues because of this, I know exactly what you mean. >> But I can tell you one thing, the love that's been poured out that's been shown to me, both of course my family, but my friends, unbelievable. Unbelievable. and may you know it gives you >> do you wonder about people who don't publicize their illnesses who don't share with the world what you're sharing >> you know there's two school there are two schools of thought and and I actually had this disagreement with my wife I felt that everybody should know right away because I believe in tahillum and uh >> good point >> and you know I >> and information is king it's always better if people know things >> absolutely I I have uh well over 200 people on my Tahillum you know goes on You're doing well. >> Barakashem. Yeah, it's that's what it is. >> Round the clock. People are saying >> round the clock. Round the clock. We have over 200 200 names and they're constantly. >> So, the possibility of not letting the public know that was gone almost immediately, >> right? So, my wife didn't, you know, >> right? She wondered what was better. >> She's more private than I am and uh she felt the other way. But, but I said to her, eventually everybody's going to know anyway. So, let me hop in the time now. people can dav for me and help me perhaps you know you know why lose the all all of this time. >> Yeah. >> And that's that's the attitude that we took and uh we never were hitted from anybody. I don't I hide the details. Nobody knows all the details. >> But they do know where you are every other Monday. >> Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't know. >> Or what's in your house every other Monday that they know. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Or they know now. >> Listen, I I I tell you one thing. I I have great friends. I you know I never knew I had such great friends. interesting. >> They come they come all the time and they're with me and they're around me and it's it's it's just >> So, here's what we've learned about Steve Moscowitz. We've learned that um two summers ago he was given this challenging news and a challenging medical situation. Uh we're also comforted by the fact that he's a normal human being and that his initial reaction was one of you know anger, skepticism, I don't want to say losing hope but uh on the more negative side and then you made this decision you put it as an epiphany based on your mother's yard site and then that uh that you know notable day you had this epiphany where you said you're going to change your attitude and completely change the the way you're approaching this and be as positive as possible. So, God bless the chemo. There are people who talk about it as a poison as you said and don't look at it as a positive. You say, "God bless it. It's keeping you going." >> Absolutely. >> And you're trying to live every day to the fullest. >> Right. So, I just want to continue with one other thing. So, so there's a rabbi, Rabbi Leverton, who is the Kabad Rabbi of the Windsors in Middle Sess County, New Jersey. Somebody connected me to him and he has helped me navigate. He has given me the that uh which I really needed. And he said to me, you have a tough you have a purpose. Your purpose is you have to tell your story. You are positive and you can help a lot of people. You have to go out there and you have to talk about it and you have to help people. And that is the attitude that I take. >> Have you had any one-on- ones with people who are terminally ill? >> Yes. Yes. People have called me. >> Has it been a game changer for them or not? >> Yes. every, you know, I'll tell you what it is. It's very easy from some for somebody who's not a part of our group, in other words, somebody who's who's well, you know, to have a conversation with somebody who's very ill, but they don't understand. It's not the same thing. I'm in it. I know it. I know what you're feeling. I'm going through exactly what you're going through. And you know, I offer an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold. I know what you're going through. You could also say you're living on borrowed time because so many people in your situation are gone by now. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not, you know, everybody re reacts differently, but uh certainly you know what it is. People want to talk about it. If somebody's sick, it's very hard for them to express it. It's easier to express it to somebody who's in the same situation. They can tell you their fears and their doubts. And that's what they do. And >> what is their greatest fear when they speak to you? >> Fear of death, >> probably. And I ask it like that because I read a fascinating book by by somebody who happens to be a non-orthodox rabbi, but I don't I think that's irrelevant. It's somebody who has dealt with, you know, with pastoral issues with people who are in dire situations by the hundreds, if not even more. Maybe at this point it's even more than that, maybe in the thousands. And he said that one of the great revelations for him as he went through this process of speaking to people as they were, you know, toward the end was how little they feared death. You would think the opposite. You would think that it's that it's actually and I wonder if the people who are fearing it that you speak to if it's really either a different fear or they're just channeling it, you know, in in that direction when in reality it's other stuff that's that's really fearful to them. >> You know, it's interesting. No, nobody talks about death. We don't we believe it or not. I mean, I I don't talk about death. I try to put death out of my mind even though it creeps into my head. You know, I'm not sleeping as well as I used to. when sometimes I wake up early in the morning and you can't help think of you know what's what's ahead I mean I know what's ahead I just but you know there are two ways there's there's a range of of the way people die like Mosher Rabenu it's like taking a hair out of milk which is very easy and the other one's a sorryar it's like pulling uh thorns through cotton but I I try not to think about it but most people we never we don't discuss death it's it's very interesting But you but you said that many of them have a fear. Is this a fear of the situation or fear how their body's going to break down? >> Yeah. Yeah. You know >> fear for their children who they won't be around for? >> Probably. Yeah. That that that when you speak to people what they fear most and they what upsets them the most is they're not going to be with the family anymore. >> That transition to the other world is not what they're fearing. >> They're fearing what they're leaving behind and things like that. >> I mean I've was his point the author. Yeah. I mean I didn't I have really not you know there were different different levels of okay >> what does that mean different levels >> uh >> different levels of faith what different levels >> okay so >> I thought you were either a man of faith or not a man of faith that's not the case >> okay no it's not okay so this is sort of like a mus between the okay and you're going in his um invos >> talk about a multigenerational argument by a couple of hundred years thousand. >> Yeah. A thousand years. >> Yeah. Um so says that if you do the properadus and you do the proper dening, you can expect Hashem to answer you. >> You know hopefully Hashem will answer you. Do the right thing. Okay. The says that's the wrong attitude. You have to uh you have to accept whatever Hashem gives you. you know, you you you shouldn't ask for anything specific because Hashem, you know, sometimes you grant it, sometimes you don't, you know, so uh what that's a very very high level to accept your fate and um I can't say that I have >> right >> at that point. >> But you also know that whatever I mean I'm putting words in your mouth, but I'm also asking the question you also know that whatever he does is for the good, right? >> Right. So, so you have to accept that whatever Hashem does even you know even death >> right >> there's a plan I mean Hashem knows what he's doing he runs the world >> and how would you describe the what would you say is again repeat what you said earlier like what's that uh piece >> uh uh so the basically says that if you do the proper you dominate and you can accept you can expect positive results >> right >> okay but the the says >> because his general eneral theme is as I understand it that the um is sort of like you know put your complete faith in him and let him let him lead the way. He knows what he's doing like that type of >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> So that's the uh that's the we're saying the same thing. >> Yeah, we're saying the same thing, you know, but it's it's not easy to to accept one's fate like that. I don't I can't say that I'm on that much yet. Basically, I just try to put keep positive and push bad thoughts out of my head and I try not to think about death and uh and I don't for the most part I'm able borrow you know I've been a worrier my whole life you know my whole life I've come to the conclusion >> W r not w a r r a worrier you mean >> I am a worrier >> because when you first said it I thought you were complimenting yourself about your attitude on the battlefield worrier worrier a warrior warrior so but I've come to understand now after all these years of living that 98% of all the things I worried about was narish kitan it all came to pass >> not 100% 98 >> and the 2% everybody can deal with the 2% that there are real problems you know so but so I I was a worrier my whole life but for some reason this changed me and I don't think about it you think that I'd be thinking about death day and night and be depressed and I have not yet had a day of depression hashem I don't know why? It's a Hashem gave me that I'm able to be positive. I I would never have believed it about myself. Hashem's given me the and maybe he's given me the just so that I could be out there and give other people. >> Uh if there's somebody listening who is in a difficult medical situation or any type of challenging situation or if there's someone listening and they know of someone who would benefit from a conversation with Steve Moscowitz. >> Yeah. Yeah. What would you tell them to do? >> I will tell them to call me and I I'm happy to give my number. My number is 732-616899. I'm available 246. Um and even if you want me to speak to group I'll be more than happy to do that. >> Um excuse me. How how can I complain to you about my about my lingering cough when you're uh >> go check it out for sure. >> No joke, by the way. I mean, this we thank God know is just a lingering cough from my peso cold. But I um I will tell everybody that when my brother was diagnosed, why did he go to the doctor? Because he had a cough. >> Really? >> And that ended up being stage four esophageal canc. >> Oh boy. >> Yeah. >> Oh boy. In fact, you know, do you remember who Raki Shorz is? Rhyurance was the founder of Shar Sher. Oh, right. She's no longer with us, unfortunately. But she paid a visit to our studio many, many times. >> And I called her after my brother was diagnosed, I figured, who could I speak to about, you know, a cancer situation more than her? She said, "How'd they find out that it was that he's sick?" >> Right? >> So, I said, "Well, he had this cough." and she stops me and she goes I the cough as if she's heard this story a million times from people in that situation. So yes, check it out no matter what it is. >> Absolutely. Abs screening screening is very very important. Unfortunately in my case, you know this but there is now believe it or not they've they've come up with screening that they can detect this 2 years before it's it shows up on >> I just saw this somewhere on some report. Yeah. >> Right. Right. So Barak Hashem they're making progress all the time. And they came they came out with a new chemo >> which has potential >> and as you said you're on medication now that you know people years ago didn't have. >> Absolutely. So >> absolutely >> I'd be thankful for that as well. >> Right. It's it's a matter of where in life you know you know what year you're in. >> If it was five years ago I probably wouldn't be here. I had a situ situation like that at one point where um where I was on some type of medication take care of whatever it was and and the doctor said to me, "Do you realize that you know 10 years ago whatever the number was you know 10 years ago you you know what you'd be going through and now now you just take a pill and and the whole thing goes away. >> You have to be thankful to the one above for that." >> For sure. Even diabetes like a 100 years ago died there's no cure. >> Correct. Or people lost their eyesight. >> Eyesight. Yeah. Yeah. So Barakash I'm doing good. I I I don't really have neuropathy which many people have. >> Do you have an appetite? >> Okay. So initially I did not. I I lose my appetite during chemo the the few days of chemo which is not a bad thing. >> But by the time by the time Shabas dinner shows up. >> You bet. >> Then you're okay. That's why you're doing it on Monday, right? >> So you can go to shul and you can you can eat. >> Well, yeah. I guess. But it's like a yo-yo. I lose I lose the weight. I gain it back when I'm not on like up and down. went up and down. But Barashem, I mean, basically, my appetite is okay. I I lost probably like 30 lbs, which I decided to keep off, but believe me, I could gain it back very easily. Just go out to eat. I I mean, I love I'm a foodie. I love food. >> There you go. >> You know, but uh you know, Barashem, no complaints. Everything Everything is good. Um >> are there natural supplements to take care of some of the symptoms of uh of chemo? >> Uh >> not symptoms, after effects, side effects. Like I've heard people say that uh when one is nause n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n n nauseiated from the chemo experience that peppermint and other uh other things or have you ever heard any of that stuff? >> I've heard I've heard of it. I've heard of it but >> but you're just go you're going with the conventional stuff. >> Yeah, I I generally don't try to stay away from all types of medication. Um, I I I've been fighting taking antinolysis, but the truth is in the beginning, I mean, it's a little harder now because they've increased my uh dosages, so it's a little bit more difficult, but in the beginning, I really didn't have my symptoms were very, very weak. >> Could you travel to Israel now if you wanted to? >> Yeah, but but Ezra Hashem, my my son Gabi, my grandson Gabi is going to have his tech. >> Uh, >> I thought he got real in the army. >> Oh, do you really? >> Yes. That's funny. Oh, >> that's really funny. >> That's really interesting. >> Yeah. So, he has his tech. >> His tech. >> And you're going to be there, please. God, >> we'll be there. >> And how does that affect your medication schedule or it won't? >> We have to do it in between. It'll work out. >> He'll be there for the 10 days in between. >> Yeah. Yeah. It'll be And I can stretch it a week here and a week there. >> You know, the doctor allows me to do three weeks instead of two weeks as long as I get back on, right? >> Uh so, you know, no real harm is done. So, uh, I've been to Israel race since we were sick, but we've been to a lot of places. We don't sit home. We do what we have to do. >> You even visit jam in the AM. >> You bet. This is the best part of my money. >> Oh, boy. We got to get you out even more then. >> Now I'm a celebrity. I'm on the knuck seagull show. You're making me famous. >> I appreciate that. On the app, people react with the following. Wow, what an amazing story. Wow, I wish someone can get through to reference their relative about losing hope. >> Let them call me. I'm available all the time. I'll help anybody in any way that I can. >> It's not just positive attitude, it's hope. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> Hope is key. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> Uh please share the name. His name is um >> Steve. Thank you. Is Steve Moscowitz Steve Moscowitz is our guest with stage four pancreatic cancer that's having zero effect on his vim and vigor. He's continuing straight forward step after step. One foot in front of the other, day after day, >> getting ready for Shabas with his grandchildren. A Shabas Kazak, I might add, a Shabas of strength. You're not going to complain that there's two parios this shabas. You're not like me. You're not a You're not like the regular guys out there who are in regular health who are going to be sitting and complaining about the length of of laning the shabas. You're going to appreciate the fact that you're able to hear laning the shabas. >> Not only that, but you know my my friends are so wonderful. You know the caba in my shul he gives me kazah every single time. >> It's beautiful. >> It's beautiful and beautiful. Yeah. When you have simra anything significant simara did you remember? >> Yeah. Yeah. They they my friends and my sh youngest >> that must have cost you a bundle to wow. >> Yeah. So everybody's listen >> that's how the sh paid for its renovation. Huh? >> Well not not exactly was I was honored at the dinner. You know >> when is that? >> This was last year. I've never I've never we have Siri and I have never taken an honor ever. Ever. But you know something they approached me and they asked me and you know there's a time you know for everything you know says so I I thought you know I want my children to know what our lives were about and uh dedication done dedication to the jewel and to yushkai so I thought it would be because I didn't know how long I would be here and I wanted my my kids to have that >> nothing more important and that's why I can't stand all the co minyanim and everything else that that happened during that period of Nothing more important than showing our children dedication to the sh. Nothing more important. >> Absolutely. >> Whether it's going to going to sh and then working for the sh. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. And you can't you can't teach children by shoving things. >> Not this. You can't. You got to do it by example. >> By example. >> And I know all the other things. I admire everything that you and others do, including the dafomi and all the things you described. In my opinion, nothing as important as this. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> Um, how do we get on this subject? So, so you get Shabas Kazak and you have a Shabas of strength, >> right? >> Because you're getting the final aliyah of of safer vayikra, >> right? >> And then it's on to what are your plans for Shu? >> Uh, >> are you pulling an allnighter or you don't you're not you're not strong enough for the all nighter. I do. I did. >> You're strong enough for the allnighter. You are going to put people like me to shame. HOW CAN I GO TO SLEEP AT 11:00 P.M. night when you're pulling an all nighter? >> Not only that, but I >> I'm going to have to throw you out of here. >> I did it most of my life. the allnighters. Then I had stopped. I had STOPPED BECAUSE LIKE ME >> shanking naked I did my whole life. I did my time >> and guess what? When I got sick, I said back to it and I started. >> You'll be dominating at 5:00 a.m. on that Friday morning. >> Hashem with my son with your son. With you. >> With my son. The son you did. Yeah. Desm. You'll be with us for >> I should never have let you in here. >> How dare you? How dare you put the host to shame? >> Well, what you do for >> can you have a cheese danish in the middle of the night or your doctor would say no? >> No, I I can eat. I have cheese. No restrictions whatsoever. >> Cuz Ralph once told me that night they serve pizzas. >> They have pizza, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. >> I think Ralph goes to to serve the pizza and then and then decides if he should stay the rest of the night or not. >> Yeah. You know, Ralph is very very good. You know, >> he's the best. He's the best. >> You know, we run the >> And what about Bee? His wife's the best. >> Oh, yeah. Absolutely. >> Incredible people. So, you know, we run the Robbie Riseman uh show and he comes all the time, Ralph. >> Holy cow. >> He's terrific. Yeah, he's he's good. Believe it or not, when when you sick it, you know, your eyes open to new things and you see the world in a different light. >> Are you a sports fan? >> Not really. >> I know you are. >> I am. And we've been another 15-minute conversation. Now, if you were because of the whole uh >> Yeah, >> cuz I'll never forget this. And yeah, I don't know if you're not a sports fan, it may not be meaningful to you, but I'll never forget in 2010 when my brother, who was a massive Yankee fan, grew up with Mantle and Maris. >> I as did I. That that's when I was following baseball. >> Yeah. So, his 75th birthday would have been last week. So, just five years older than you. >> Yeah. >> Right. You said you're 70. >> 70. Yes. >> And I'll never forget when they were eliminated in that playoff run in 2010. It was like the unspoken words between him and me that we both knew that he would never see another baseball game again because that and we never said it obviously but it was just so obvious and that's you know like I mean these and I know it's sport so it's not that significant >> but when the milestones come around >> I I assume these thoughts you know >> might seep into someone's head I know in your case you keep them out but >> did did your brother know that he was terminal >> yeah from the moment >> from from the getgo Really? >> I mean, I think he was diagnosed on Wednesday and by Friday morning he knew it was over. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Terrible. >> And had one good run. Diagnosed, I told you, in May. And then in July after the first round of chemo, got up enough strength to actually, you know, be normal for a little while. And then when that when not chemo, Yeah. on chemo, right? And then when that second when that cancer comes back, you know, which I was warned about by the experts that it comes back with a vengeance, right? >> Vengeance. Absolutely. >> Like how dare you try to, you know, chemo me, you know, out of your body like that type of thing. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> Anyway, >> yeah. So that so that's my story. >> Well, Steve Moscowitz, you are you're you're standing up to you're using the chemo to stand up to that cancer. You're not you're not letting it back in. Hashem, Hashem has given me >> You're one in a million. >> I don't know about that. But uh I'm lucky that Hashem has given me courage and strength to go out there. >> You ever wonder why he's so good to you? >> 45 minutes ago, I would have said, "Why was he so mean to you?" And now I'm saying to you, "Why is he so good to you? Empire, >> why is it?" You know, >> what's this tell me? >> Listen, you have to You're giving go sour lemons. Me, you make lemon, you know, you have to be positive. You have to whatever Hashem throws at you. There's always again, Hashem creates the band-aid before the uh the marker. >> There's always you can always turn everything around and see the positive in everything. And that's that that's how you have to live your life. >> How happy are you going to be at the Shabas table this Friday night? >> Very happy >> you're going to be. And by the way, and by the way, those of us, thank God, in good health, often sit with our children and grandchildren and are are mesmerized by the fact that we have this incredible privilege and this amazing experience for you. It must be like off the charts. >> It is. It absolutely is. And listen, the legacy is not your money. It's your children's. That's your legacy. That's what you're leaving behind. >> I've said this before. You know what Rabbi Riskin once said to me? my rebar. >> He said, "I stopped fearing death when I had my first grandchild." >> Really? >> Rabbi Riskin was known for being obsessed. Obsessed the wrong word, but you know what I'm saying. >> Yes. Yes. >> With the whole concept of death and the fear of it, etc. And he once said to me, "I stopped fearing death when I had my first grandchild. I knew that my legacy would continue. I knew that my children would keep it the way it should be kept, >> right? active in the shul etc. as we described earlier and that you know and and and I'm leaving things in good hands so to speak. >> Absolutely. When you see your children are mitzvah that you you've accomplished your goal. You're just you're just a link in a chain and that chain you you know as long as you keep you know Torah going and your family and your kids and the learning and they they give us to Hashem then you know you've done your job and I guess it's a lot easier to accept >> and once you have a child or grandchild who combines Torah study with army service >> oh boy >> then you know you hit the jackpot. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. I'm very lucky. >> Then you don't know what you did right. I don't know what I'm doing. >> Fisher used to say that to me. He would he would say that he was, you know, one kid was in the army as a as a Hezerik and one was down south building, you know, the negv and, you know, the the concerned with the future of the uh land of Israel, etc. And he said to me, no, I don't know where I went, right? So, there's something to consider. >> Absolutely. Absolutely. >> Um, have a shabas of great strength. >> Amen. Amen. And same same to everybody who needs rush lma that we you know >> yeah amen >> we all have to stick together and uh you know ding for each other you know when you're ding for somebody else Hashem listen to you to fill us for >> see your whole goal is to change someone's life who's going through terminal illness you just changed my shabas really >> because of your visit >> wow beautiful >> I have to limit my complaining about the double para I have to limit my complaining about the speed of ding >> and no talking no talking during dvening Really? Yeah. Maybe that's the secret. >> In our minion, you know, in the youngest world, we have the upstairs minion. Then we have, you know, smaller minion downstairs. There's absolutely no talk, you know. So, uh, we have a little place in Boon. So, uh, we dive in there. The the the Gabby actually there's absolutely no talking. You can't People watch you. But the the Gabby makes a mishak >> for those who don't talk. >> Yeah, there is a mishak. It's beautiful. Yeah. When you don't talk during domining, it's >> Do you know how many Torah giants would say that that this is a an antidote for all maladies? >> Probably >> not talking during domin. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> That it's a school for good health for parnasa, etc., etc. Now you reveal the whole secret. >> Oh, no. >> Yeah. Hashem. >> And now you have to get me to uh now you're going to encourage me to >> you have to you have to sit next to good people. Don't sit next to talkers. RD I was once sitting with RD code at Shakra on Shabas and he said and I said you know I said something like you know is it okay if I sit here or something he says yes because he says to me because it is going to be such a test of my not to talk to you during dominar because because it's so enticing to talk to YOU DURING I SAID WOW WHAT A WHAT A COMPLIMENT right beautiful very nice anyway there you go all right Steve Moscowitz thank you very much for giving me this pleasure form and vatain. Amain and uh >> I I practically can't say goodbye to you. The show's over already. I can't even say goodbye to you. I feel like I have to continue to encourage you. >> Amen. >> Continued good strength. >> Amen. Thank you. And again, everybody, please don't hesitate to reach out. >> Oh, you didn't give a phone number. >> Yeah, I did. 732616. >> I just pay attention to my own show, huh? >> 7326168999. I'll be happy to speak to anybody. I'll be happy to speak at any organization. Um, >> repeat the number one more time, please. >> 732616899. >> The chairman has uh chimed in. >> The chairman. >> Chairman Ralph. >> Oh, Ralph. Yeah. >> Call out to Steve Moscowitz. He's an inspiration. I've received inspiration from him. >> Wow. >> And I've received inspiration from from him because he's very, very positive. Ralph Ralph is more positive than I am. >> Wow. He's unbelievable. >> Especially when the Yankees are having a great month, which they are, that he's really positive. >> Right. Right. Right. >> Um, and a listener wants to know your name so they could say to him for you. >> Perfect. Abraov Benickle. >> One more time. >> Abrahamyakov. Benickle. >> Glick. >> Glick. See, Yiddish, it's Yiddish for good luck. That was my my mother's name. European. And while we're on the subject of um praying for those who are ill, our very own Matus wine guest, as I've shared with the audience, had a minor stroke >> and we are going to ask people to remember him in their major. So there you go. And of course all the as you said should have >> amazing. >> Thank you for joining us today. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. >> Steve Mascowitz is a brothers and sisters in Israel. We are with you. It's your favorite America's one and only Jewish moments in the morning radio program. Heard a listener sponsored digital radio around the world web.com and the school network and of course on the beloved NSN app.