More DANGEROUS than ANTISEMITISM | Parsha Perspectives | Vayishlach 5786

Good morning Booker to welcome back to para perspectives for today. I want to thank as always our generous series sponsors Becky Navikats and family in memory of David Gman our learning David Ben and this morning sheir is also dedicated for Rafu Schlma of a dear friend of mine Ratan Ben Mirl should have a speedy painless and complete Rafu Schlma. Please keep them in your thoughts and in your fossil we should hear good news. Uh there is no shir we're off next week. There are plenty of shirum from previous years you could listen to online or plenty of other phenomenal midday shir you could listen to online but we're going to be traveling next week and therefore uh there is no live new Shir next week. So just want to announce that in advance. Page 170 paras. The narrative, the story that we're so familiar with, we know so well continues to unfold. And no matter how well we know it, nevertheless, it still grips us. The story of our Torah, story of Yakov, the dreaded reunion with his brother Asov that he is in fact so nervous and even anxious about, which is unusual. We'll see in a moment why a saddic who trusts in Hashem and has that promise should be nervous or anxious. But we along with him even though we know how the story ends but we read par and as the story unfolds we live it we feel it yet again stay adome so Jacob after 22 years of separation alienation 22 years of running and being on the road he's now ready to reunite with his brother but before he does because of those concerns he makes some preparations he does some advanced leg work And Kazal, the rabbis tell us he does three things. He sends gifts. He davins of course to Hashem and he prepares for the worst. He hopes for the best but prepares for the worst. So he makes plans for he girds his army, his family to be able to go to battle if it will be necessary. So the first thing he does is he sends malim. He sends angels. Rashi tells us these are malim mameish. He sends angels, real angels, in order to impress and to terrify As to let him know who he is, where he comes from, what's going on. Shouldn't think he has the upper hand. He sends he sends literal angels and he commands them and he says, "This is what you should tell my master. The reason I haven't come sooner, my dear brother Asov, the reason I haven't made amends, the reason I haven't made an effort to re reconcile or reunite sooner is I've been preoccupied. Why and where have I been preoccupied? I've been living with love. So that made me delayed. Get them on page 170. I've sjourned with love and I've acquired oxen and donkeys, flocks, servants, maid servants, and I'm sending to tell my lord to find favor in your eyes. They come back and they say, "Indeed, we came, we approached your brother, and here's the news. He's heading towards you and he's got 400 men with him." So, Yakov makes this gesture. So sorry I was delayed. I love you. I would have been here earlier. Oh, here are some gifts. Here are some wonderful things. And what do they report back? Yeah, he's also making his way towards you. And he's got 400 armed men with him. So what's Jacob's reaction? Understandably vets are low. Jacob's frightened. He's distressed. He's anxious. But he does something about it. He divides his people, his entourage, his family into two camps. So let's get started. Let's understand. It's an amazing thing. We learn the same and read the same words each and every year. But there's so many new and more marvelous and amazing and timely and timeless insights that are relevant specifically for us in that new year. What we individually and collectively are going through. The Torah is talking to us. The para we read on read on any given week is not a coincidence or chance. It was designed and it has messages specifically for us in that time. So says says we'll start with altar the great gashiva. So said your servant this is the message Yakov sends these angels to tell I've been living with what does Rashi tell us? Rash two per two interpretations first one is as of relax as of you're worried I stole the bra and included in the bra was I was going to rise to prominence to prestige to power don't worry never happened the braha wasn't fulfilled I'm not a sashv I'm not an officer a diplomat I'm not royalty I'm just a g I'm just a wanderer I'm just sojouring. Don't be jealous of me that I stole the bra in which our father said that I would rise to be. If you want to know where that word comes from, it's a new professional ambition in our time. Young people want to sign up. What track are they on? I want to be a what's a culture hasn't really hit bokeh yet. What's If you don't know, learn it. If you know, you know. But so the promise was gave a promise. You're going to be a you're going to be a big shot. You're going to be wealthy. You're going to be a source of power. You're going to be a source of influence. You're going to be a you're going to be a that's all interpretation number one. So number one is Yakov sends a message to Asov. Lest you think I stole the bra and it's been fulfilled in our 22-year absence. And now I'm walking around a big I'm walking around a big hot shot. Nah, I'm a I wander. It hasn't happened. I haven't risen to that level. Number two or interpretation number two says I lived with but I observed all 613 mitzvah. I was living in the den of iniquity. I was living in the backyard of the wicked evil love but it never rubbed off on me. He had no influence over me. I never compromised an iota on who I am or how I lived. I observed all I observed all six3. These are the two interpretations of rash says there are several questions that arise. First, Yakov is trying to appease his brother by saying, "Relax, don't worry. Tati's braha, Ab's bra, our father's blessing. It never happened. It never came true. I didn't become a I'm just a g." Whoa. Isn't that denigrating their father? Don't worry. Our father's not so big. His braha didn't come true. In order to protect yourself because of the fear that you're living in from your brother, now you're going to knock down your father. What disrespect to Yitzk? How could YaKob express such words? Don't worry, the braha didn't come true. Secondly, secondly, why would that cal as down? The fact remains that Yakob stole the brahas from as fact remains for 22 years they've been absent. They haven't reconciled. He hasn't made it right. He hasn't made amends. So the fact that the braha didn't come true for you would make as feel better that you stole them. You still have a lot of possessions. You've still been blessed with great wealth. So why would this appease Asf? Question number three, Rash's wording is uncharacteristically lengthy. What is Rashi getting at? What is Rashi trying to convey? These are the questions of the Gasha alter. So he quotes from the pick who explains Rash's choice of expression. You need not hate me. Don't hate me for taking the since it wasn't fulfilled be in me. Rash's wording it was not fulfilled in me be. What was not fulfilled lon you could read to mean it was not fulfilled be in me or listen to this creative reading or you could read what was not fulfilled B the letters Bud the Bud that was what was not fulfilled what was not fulfilled was B what do you mean B when the letters Bud are removed from what do you have left have The promise was I would be a great over you. Don't worry be the were not fulfilled. If you remove what do you have left ga was saying instead of he remained only a g I didn't rise to become a I remained only a g. But still isn't he denigrating his father? Isn't it disrespectful to suggest the of his father wasn't fulfilled the B of didn't happen? I'm just a G. So it says the Gashiva. We can understand it better based on the Ramban. The Ramban explains that Asov spurned the because to him all that mattered as lived in a world of here and now. Bor the firstborn was about destiny was about a future. What was about what was to come was about continuity was about generations was about the future. This is the character trait of as7 or rashim. They live only in the moment. There is no thought for the future. In fact, love on the etmology of love's name. We didn't say this last week. We could have the etmology of love's name is low been lov grandchildren a future building transmitting growing. Love on is low Ben. He's not concerned for a future, for what is to come. He's not planning, investing, planting, molding, shaping, transmitting. Love on's low ben. He's here and now. What's in it for me? What do I get out of it? Where's my pleasure sees the moment? That's love and that's also as in fact that's Asov's very name. The mafam describe when they're born Jacob and Asov. Yakov is an ava heel. When a person takes steps, what touches the ground first? The heel of the foot. First, he steps with the heel. Yakov is growing, walking, progressing, moving, advancing. He's always, he's not a finished product. He's not done. Yakov is the best is yet to come. As of in contrast, Asov, on the other hand, Asov of Asov is a finished product. What you see is what you get. Asov was born that way. Asov was born that way. You know, thanks to AI, you could do anything today. So, somebody created on AI and I saw it in my family WhatsApp group. It was a meme or GIF. I don't know the difference, but two babies in a double stroller that looked exactly the same, but one was ruddy, covered in red hair, and one looked like a baby. Right? They use AI. How did Yakov and Asa, these twins, Asa we know came out fully developed like a mature adult. He already had a beard. He was already covered in hair. Why? Because physically was reflective of spiritually, emotionally, Asov is he's done. He's complete. He's a finished product. What you see is what you get. There won't be any progress. He's not going to advance. We said this last week from the Meshma. Remember we said beautiful insight from the after Jacob takes leave of shimo goes back to his place the yak of Jacob goes on to the said contrast the two after all those years of living with the sadic after all those years of living with the righteous Jacob he's unchanged he's not influenced he's not impacted Where does he return to? Limcomo my play. This is who I am. What you see is what you get. I am the same way I was 13 years old. I'm stuck. I'm fixed. This is how I d this is how I learn. This is my patience. This is my generosity. This is my attention span. These are my life goals. This is it. What you see is what you get. This is who I am. I'm fixed. I'm a finished product. What Carol Dwek would say is the fixed mindset. Hako. He's back right in the place. His default. That's where he started. That's where he'll end. That's where he is. all the time in between. Yakov, in contrast, goes the daro. The darco. Yakov is back on the der. What's a derak? Derk is a path. Yakov, that's his name. Footsteps. Puts down his heel. He's walking. He's progressing. He's advancing. He's changing. What Carol Dwek would call not a fixed mindset, but a growth mindset. A growth mindset is doesn't matter how old, how young, what stage of life, retired, working, always growing, always learning, always advancing. Asov is what is made, whatever exists in the present is all that counts. That's not Yakov. Jacob, our essence is that this world is an entrance way to the banquet hall that the Mishna Perky describes. So our stay in this world. You can operate and live in this world with one of two mentalities. Either I've moved in permanently. This is all there is. I've unpacked. I'm here to stay. This is all that exists. This is my identity. This is what I live for. Or or you can enjoy this world and all that it has to offer with the recognition I'm only here temporarily. I'm just passing through. Person goes to a hotel. a person goes to a resort. So, they don't necessarily fully unpack. They don't start making adjustments to the decor because they say, "I'm only here temporarily. I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to maximize it. I'm going to take out of it everything I can. I'm going to take advantage of all the amenities, but I'm just here temporarily. I'm just here just passing through." So, that sadic Jakobu lives life in this world. I'm a g I'm a stranger. I'm a sojourer. I'm a traveler. I'm just passing through. I'm a temporary resident. Asov says, I've moved in. This is all there is. There is nothing more. So, I'm here permanently. And that's the message Hashem conveyed to when he said, Hashem says to Gore, sojourn in this land and I'll be with you. And the explains based on many I am a sojourer in the world. Hide not your commandments from me. Why would David's status as a g especially enable him to understand Hashem's mitzvah? So Ephraim explains that one shares one's inner thoughts and feelings only with a close friend. A person passing through a town doesn't bear his heart to the citizen of the town. He only bears his heart to someone who's traveling with him. Somebody who's traveling, somebody's on a journey, someone who is sojouring. They pass through a town, they meet someone, nice to meet you, we could have a coffee, we could check in, we can make small talk. I'm not letting you into the innermost secrets of my heart. But somebody you travel with, someone you go on a journey with, someone you're vulnerable to, someone you make your way through this world with, that's who you're vulnerable enough to share with. So David was expressing that although he resides in Haza, although he's living in this world, he's doing so with the mentality, the attitude of a I'm just traveling. I'm just traveling. So Hashem is his travel partner. Hashem is his travel mate. They're going through the world together. Hashem is hidden and has no one to rest upon. Since I am only a G and you Hashem are traveling, you have no one to rest. So we'll we'll go together. We're in it. We're in it together. And that says that's Hashem's message to if you move in permanently, I'm not with you. But if you're going to bring the mentality of somebody's traveling and journeying and we're doing it together, then I'm with you. I'm with you. So now we understand Yako's message to don't hate me because I took the braos. I've not become a haz didn't happen. Not because our father's bra didn't come true. Such a beautiful. It's not denigrating or disrespecting. Yakov is not saying our father's braha wasn't potent and didn't come true. What he's saying is despite the braha look at all the wealth look at the influence I'm an influencer but it never went to my head and it's not my mentality lon I didn't embrace being a I don't aspire to be a you know who I am and what I am you know how I identify my life is as a g not a the brahas are not fulfilled in me they've not taken place in my essence I haven't moved in permanently. I live as a g recognizing all of this is temporary. It's only for the here and now. This is not what I live for. I don't live for today. I live for tomorrow. I don't live for the here and now. I live for eternity and immortality. Yes, I'm enjoying all this. It's wonderful. It's delicious. It's fantastic. But it's not who I am. So the brah has come true. It's fulfilled. Our father knows what he's doing but I'm not a I'm a G luna be the b of it hasn't impacted it hasn't shaped or molded my essence unlike you my brother as who's you're the here and now all you wish and long for all you want to be in your essence is amag and the message is clear says the g rashiva we have to follow Jacob's path and view our existence in this world as transient, as temporary. Enjoy all the amenities. Enjoy everything the hotel has to offer. It's wonderful. It's fantastic. Use the mini bar if you want to way overpay for a chocolate bar. Enjoy it all. Enjoy it all. But never confuse the hotel with your permanent residence. Enjoy it all, but realize you're only here temporarily. the is fulfilled but if we want a then we have to bring a guros we have to bring that mentality so three questions the gasha asked on rashi and his answer answers all three so beautifully it's not denigrating his father at all the braha was in fact achieved but lon not in me says yakov I'm not aver I'm a g don't don't aspire to be a gir thinks My whole identity is intertwined with what I have. My identity is intertwined with how I live and my lifestyle. My identity is intertwined by my fame and my fortune says Jacob. You can have all those things but don't aspire to be a gir aspire to be a g a fantastic insight of the gasha also has a beautiful insight says the mere Brooklyn what you should say love and guarantee he's bothered by a question any of you bothered by this what What does Jacob tell them? He tells these angels. He commands them. This is what you should say to to whom? No. Look at the this is what you should say to what's the word before as it's an open book test. Don't be shy. What's the word before as what does mean? My master. My master is like God asked a very compelling question. I understand when Yakov actually reunites with Asov when he's standing opposite Asov and he wants to inflate Asavv's ego, build him up, appease him, win him over. So he calls him these wonderful flattering names, Adoni. But why does he need to do it now? Right now Yakov is just talking to the Malim. When you go to just call him Asov. We all know what you think about him. So why does he call him adoni as to the malim? Why does he as my master the god like asov? Okay, if that's how you feel you have to speak if you have to make that concession and speak in that way when you meet him that's one thing but in advance that's how you have to speak to the who are going to talk to him. It makes no sense. He should have said he should have told them this is what you should tell my wicked evil brother as if he's being honest with the angels. Say how you really feel about Asov. Why are you building him up? Why are you why are you surrendering to him, submitting to him? So listen to what he answers. and says learns from that just like when a person looks into a body of water, you look into a puddle, you look into a river, when you look into a body of water, what do you see? Your reflection. Just like the water gives you your reflection, so too the heart reflects what's in the other person's heart. person's heart is a reflection of the other person's heart. You get what you put in. Our heart is a reflection of the other. Water reflects and hearts reflects in order to remove his brother's anger and hatred for him. When they're going to meet up, when they're going to unite and reunite, if Jacob aspires that Asov will no longer hate him, he needs to first remove the hatred for his brother from his heart. Because how can Asov not reciprocate hate to Yakov if what he's picking up from Yakov, the energy, the vibes, the messaging, the signal that he's getting from Yakov is hate. You want the other person to stop hating on you, stop hating on them because their heart will reflect what's in yours. And if you want to remove the hate from another person's heart, first start by removing it from yours. Start by removing it from yours. He has to get over, move past whatever grievances he has against his brother. Here he is bitter that he had to run away. He had to leave his father's home all because of aso. He had to abandon his parents for more than 20 years and to live in the house of love. He's got a long list of grievances against his brother. Work him out. Work him through. By the time you get an audience with your brother, come with a full heart. Come with a clean heart. Come with a clean slate. Because if you want your brother to abandon the hate for you, then you have to first remove the hate for him. How does he do that? Even though he's not talking to Asov, he's only talking to the he calls him. You see, I let go. I've moved on. I've healed. I'm okay. I've reconciled so much so I can demonstrate it that I don't just call him as Russia. This is what you should tell my wicked evil brother. He says this what you should say to Adoni Asov because I worked it through. I can call him Adoni Asov. I'm good to go. My heart is pure and clean. I'm ready to see Asov because if he's looking into my heart, you know what reflection he's going to see? He's going to see I'm good to go. I've let it go and we're good now. and we're good now. And that's why he calls him adoni as even though he's not talking to as directly he's only talking to the malim talking to the angels also on this p I promise we're going to move on but also on this pduk wonders something different we began by mentioning that rashi quotes two interpretations in love on garti what are the two interpretations number one don't be jealous of me that our father gave me a bra I'm going to be and never became a I'm just a gear shot number two. I've observed all I kept all 613 love and had no influence. I didn't compromise. I wasn't corrupted. He had no influence. Shamari wonders. Why does Rashi need to bring two interpretations? This is a pedagogic question. Whenever Ashi brings more than one interpretation, ask yourself why. Why wasn't he satisfied with the first one? Why did he feel compelled to offer or to bring a second one? So this is how he answers. When Jacob offers a prayer in anticipation of reuniting with his brother, this is we didn't read it yet. Save me from save me from my brother. save me from as for the rabbis already wondered why did Jacob need to duplicate save me from my brother save we know who your brother is it's either call him your brother or call him Asov you don't need to be redundant and call him both he has only one brother it's not that he has so many brothers in case you're confused save me for my brother Oh, which one? He only has one. He only has one. We know it's his brother. There weren't more than one as in this world. There weren't a lot of people with the same name. So, it's not that Jacob had to be specific. From my brother, from as he only has one brother, it's As there is only one as it's his brother. So, it is entirely repetitive. So, just say one description of the other. Why both? So the BI, the great BI famously answers, our enemies have two methodologies, two ways with which they attack. Our enemies try to defeat us and destroy us and eliminate us in two ways. [snorts] October 7th, Pgram's inquisitions, a holocaust, anti-semitic attacks. One is physical violence. They try to murder. They try to exterminate. They try to eliminate. And the second way is they try to get us to assimilate. They try to kill our spirit and our soul, our distinctiveness and our uniqueness. They try to get us from both. I remember once on one of the trips leading March the living to Poland, someone shared with me that that their parent who was a survivor reflected and said in Europe they killed us with hate. In America they're killing us with love. Now that love is also mixed with a little hate. But before a couple years ago, we could have said, looking at the data and statistics about assimilation and intermarriage, they're welcoming us with open arms and they're killing us not with hate but with love. Jacob is says the why did Jacob invoke both names when he dash to be spared? Because he's asking Hashem, protect me and spare me from whichever method my brother takes against me. If he's going to present himself as an if it's going to be an anti-semitic attack, if he's coming at me with a knife, with a gun, with an RPG, if he's coming at me with an anti-tank missile, protect me. And if he's coming at me like a brother and he says, "Come with me. Live like me. abandon your lifestyle, intermar with my children. Save me from that, too. Save me from that, too. I've written and spoken. I honestly genuinely feel guilty that I haven't done more and all of us should. As alarmed as we all are, as alarmed and startled as we all are by the spike and rise in anti-semitism, the danger and threat it poses pales in comparison to assimilation and intermarriage. We are wiping ourselves away. Wiping ourselves away. The intermarriage rate is nearing 70%. Certainly if you take the Orthodox out and it's crept into the Orthodox, too. The intermarriage assimilation rate is off the charts. We are destroying ourselves at a far greater rate and clip than our enemies could ever dream of. There aren't 70% there aren't attacks that are killing 70% of the Jews. And yet intermarriage is capturing 70% of our people. There is a double dual threat. Which one is more pernicious? Which one is more dangerous? Which one is more successful? When when our so to say enemy are presenting as brother assimilate, integrate, you're welcome, melting pot, join us, marry our children. That's far far more dangerous statistically right now than when our enemies come as miad as mad as just look at the numbers. They don't necessarily make the same headlines. The 70% intermarriage rate. We've sort of just adjusted to it. We've accepted it. We shouldn't. We have to remain maladjusted to it. We have to do everything we can to fight it. We love our brothers and sisters. We have to influence and move the needle however and however much we can. But the 70% intermarriage rate, the assimilation rate far far far surpasses however many incidents of anti-semitism there are. That's not to minimize or dismiss the danger of anti-semitism, but it is to recognize that it pales in comparison a dual and double threat. And that's why Jacob Davins both Hashem haten save me from anti-semitism. save me even more from assimilation. I worry about my children. Each of us should feel my grandchildren. Can they walk safely? Can they wear a yarmaka? Anti-semitism in the diaspora. Anti-semitism in Israel. Seven countries were at war with it. 8 n 10 million people ran in and out of bomb shelters for two years because of it. That also is anti-semitism. Countries and nations at war. So, keep our children and grandchildren, keep us safe. But also save me from assimilation when he presents as a brother to assimilate and says this was not only temporarily for that time. This is a refrain. This is part of what we in each of every generation. We're worried about both elements, both dangers and both threats and both threat and he quotes and it's in the mouths of people. America has done more to defeat to eliminate our people than all radical Islam. Since America welcomes open arms, assimilate, integrate, marry in, welcome. So many have fallen. So many have disappeared. So many have ended that chain. Ended that chain. Says based on this, we did read that Yakov when the angels come back and report. Oh yeah, Asa's on his way to you, too. And by the way, he's coming with 400 armed men. You are master Yakov. You sent us to make these gestures of love and affection and reconciliation and brotherhood. Well, your brother's on his way. He's got 400 armed men. And how does Jacob feel? Jacob is afraid and he becomes very anxious. Why the double language? So both, this is the parallel. He's afraid I have to go to war. put on a uniform, grab a gun, drive a tank, fly a a plane. He's worried. He's worried that Asab is going to kill him his children. But Vayo, he's also anxious. What's he anxious about? Maybe he's going to weaken us spiritually. Maybe my family is going to assimilate and integrate and they're going to lose the passion for Yiddish. So there's a double language in the prayer. There's a double language in the reaction and based on this is going to explain his question. Why does Rashi have two interpretations? Why does it say it could have just said save me from my brother? Why? Why the double language of because could put out his hand to punch, he could put out his hand to hug. Both are dangerous. Both are dangerous. If he puts out his hand to stab or if he puts out his hand to hug, they're both dangerous. They're both dangerous. Now he returns to the question why did Rashi have two interpretations in love on the first one was don't worry I didn't become a I'm just a g second one was in love and I still observe I haven't compromised I haven't become corrupt now he says we can understand based on the a beautiful taking on the concern as coming to fight physically He says, "You don't have to kill me. You don't have to punch me. You don't have to stab me. You don't have to defeat me. Don't worry. I never became hot stuff. I never became all that. I never became a gir. I'm some lowly stranger sojourer. I'm not even settled. So you don't have to kill me. And on the other hand, if you think you're going to get me to assimilate, if you think you're going to corrupt me spiritually, good luck, buddy. I just came out of the backyard of love. And I lived with him for many years. And you know, his impact on me gished nothing. If Lavven couldn't change me, you're not changing me. So if you want to defeat me and kill me physically, it's not worth it. I didn't become a ver. I'm just a gay and if you think you're going to destroy me by making me assimilate been there done that lived with love on he had no impact on me and I'm still here to tell about it I'm still good to go but there's a very powerful impact and I would say this is a message that's a para perspective for today all of us can't take anything for granted and can't settle on our laurels and all of us have to incorporate in our heartfelt prayers that prayer every day. Hashem, spare me and my family physically. Spare me and my family spiritually because the world is filled with enormous dangers on both ends. Physical dangers with the spike and the rise of anti-semitism and spiritual dangers with the enormous impact of assimilation. Unless you think I send my kids to day school, my kids went through yeshiva, I live a life of shmir hamitzvos assimilation. That's a problem of the other denominations. That's a problem of the unaffiliated Jew. It breaks my heart to tell you that that's not true. It's not true. It's not because necessarily any parents did anything wrong or the rebum or educators did anything wrong. It is a dangerous dangerous world and we're seeing the consequences of it. And so it is incumbent on every parent with everything else that we do to dav from the depth of our being each and every day. Hashem protect my family and me from anti-semitism and also equally maybe more from assimilation. Perk we just read Jacob is afraid and Jacob's anxious. Why the double language of droo just gave us one answer. What is the double language is the two things he's afraid of. Rabbi Saxs Rabbi Jonathan Sax he offers something else. Why the duplication? What's the difference between fear and distress? The first is a physical anxiety. Second a moral one. It's one thing to fear our own's death. quite another to contemplate being the cause of someone else's. If As were to try to kill Yakov, who would be justified in fighting back if if necessary at the cost of Asov's life? Yet Jacob is distressed at the possibility of being forced to kill even if it is entirely justified. I think it's Golden Mayer who once said, "We can forgive our enemies possibly for killing us, but it's unforgivable they turn our children into those who have to kill." And that's what Jacob is saying here. Jacob is afraid. He's afraid that he could get killed. He's afraid that his family could be harmed. He's distressed. What distresses him? The thought that he'll have to kill another. What we're encountering here is the concept of a moral dilemma. This phrase is often used imprecisely to mean a moral problem, a difficult ethical decision. In numerous situations, two duties conflict. We have metal principles to tell us which take priority. There's always a decision procedure and thus a determinant answer to the question, what should I do? But a dilemma is not simply a conflict. It arises in cases of conflict between right and right or between wrong and wrong. The fact that one principal self-defense overrides another, the prohibition against killing does not mean that faced with such a choice, Yakov is without qualms. Sometimes being moral means one experiences distress and have having to make such a choice. Doing the right thing may mean that one does not feel remorse or guilt. One still feels regret or grief about the action that needs to be taken. A moral system which leaves room for the existence of dilemmas is one that does not attempt to eliminate the complexities of the moral life. In a conflict between two rights or two wrongs, there may be a proper way to act, the lesser of the two evils or the greater of the two goods, but it does not cancel out all the emotional pain. These mixed feelings were born thousands of years ago when YaKob, father of the Jewish people, experienced not only the physical fear of defeat, but the moral distress of victory. Only those who are capable of feeling both can defend their bodies without endangering their souls. Only those who can feel that moral dilemma, the moral distress of victory. Only those who are capable of feeling both can defend their bodies without endangering their souls. As only Rabbi Sax Kenny puts it so beautifully. And we're seeing the consequences and results are holy, incredible soldiers who fought so valiantly and heroically and Barakashem those who lived to tell about it. But vets are low, the haunting trauma, the PTSD, what they went through in the moral dilemmas they faced in having to defeat enemies are things they will images that haunt and that they will have to live with. That all began with Yakov who knew what he had to do and prepared to do it. But he was nevertheless distressed at the thought, the moral conundrum, the moral dilemma, he'd be faced with having to do it. Nonetheless, test the tribute. He sends these gifts and now they meet up and he tells the first group, he divides them in two. My brother If he says, "Who are you? Where are you going? And whose are these that are before you?" We've studied in the past saw that as the three questions that we're asked. Who are you? Where are you going? Whose are these before you? This is what you should say. I'm sorry. Go back. reading the wrong P test go back to last page 172 divides his camp in two and he says if approaches the one camp and strikes what is Jacob doing here he's diversifying he breaks his family into two and he says if as successful in eliminating one the others will be survivors the others will survive my dear friend Ari Mzov who hates when I mention his name shared with me a beautiful insight in this pock one of the uh one of the favorites of our Mosha Weinberger the who is the Israel the we saw tab of mut says the following of he quotes from a z who's the z of of the basis of the za was tab of of kushmir and he said the following Person makes a mistake. Person comes up short. Spoke. You looked at the wrong image. You ate the wrong food. You forgot to make a bra. You lost your cool and you weren't patient. A person makes a mistake. Do you know how the works? It brings a sadness, a depression, a despondency, a hopelessness, a helplessness, and it tries to get you to give up on yourself. But if you divide, if you create a break, if you say that's a particular moment, that was an incident, that was poor judgment, that was a failure, that was a fail. But I divide my camp. I divide my life. I divide my soul. And I'm going to bounce back. The second half is I'm able to save and salvage what's left. What's left? person's got a store and robbers come and rob them. So, you're tempted to go run after them to recover what they stole. But the smart store owner knows if you run after them to recover what they stole, there's another group of bandits who are going to come into the store and take the rest. So, what do you do? You write off what they took. And what do you do instead? said you double down to protect what's still there. So says the says the same here on become that is the if the comes and strikes and the is successful got you to sleep in one morning you didn't make it to shul got you to talk during ding it got you to look at the wrong thing it got you to act out in the wrong way invahara Never give up. Never be hopeless. Never write off. Double down that who you are and what you have left. Focus and concentrate and protect and double down. The answer is this attitude, this method of Jacob was not only true in that moment was a strategy in perpetuity and for life that if the as the sahara of our life strikes, double down on what's left and it will and it will protect us. Yakov we know goes back for those small jugs. maybe an illusion to Kaneka coming up even in the para those small jugs and he finds himself all alone and he wrestles with his alter ego he wrestles with the isov who strikes Jacob survives but he limps away and we observe the laws of ganasha since then we don't eat the ganasha we don't act the hind quarters but the sciatic nerve you have to learn the art of trabering can it be removed something that's done in Israel in America generally don't. So we observe the law of ganasha as a as a result as a result. Why are we observing the laws of it's a very peculiar thing of when the Torah records the practice the law we commemorate that he walked away with a limp that he was injured it says the Jewish people in perpetuity don't eat the ganasha but it omits and leaves out Yakov what What about Jacob? What about the fact that Jacob also wasn't allowed to eat it? Why doesn't it mention Jacob? Because is not a message for Jacob. It's a message literally the children of Jacob, the children of Israel. How and why did this happen to Jacob? Jacob was by himself. What was the condition that enabled the angel to strike? Why did Jacob find himself vulnerable, fragile, exposed in a wrestling match all night long? Because he was abandoned by his own children. Yakov says can almost picture the scene. I forgot something. I got to go back for it. Who wants to come with me? Keep me company. We'll drive together. We'll ride together. We'll walk together. New kind. It's an opportunity. There's so many of you and we go on family outings. Which one of you wants a little time alone time with dad? Come with me. You know what they all say? I'm watching something. I'm typing something. I'm scrolling something. Tired. I already changed into my pajamas. I'm lying on the couch. I already got into bed. I always do it. Somebody else should go do it. Jacob says, "Fine. I'll just go by myself." And he goes by himself. And he's attacked by the Who has to remember what happens when a Jew is left alone? When a Jew is left alone, they're vulnerable. They're exposed. They could be injured. Who has to remember that? It was Jacob's children who left him that way. A Jew never abandons a fellow Jew. A Jew must never be left alone. We've quoted this previously in the name of the because this answers another odd question. If I were to ask you, if you ask most people, why don't we eat the Gan? They'll answer. We don't need it to commemorate what that Jacob wrestled with. The angel he was injured but he won. But he won. So normally normally normally you would say if you're commemorating that he won the mitzvah is to eat. Right? Everybody knows the old joke. They tried to kill us. Every Jewish holiday can be summarized. They tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat what matzah lka. Every holiday to what we should eat is different. But the common theme of all Jewish holidays is they tried to kill us. We survived. Let's eat. So the tried to kill Jacob. He survived. Don't eat. Doesn't fit. There should be a mitzvah. Eat the remember that Yakov survived. wonders why is there no mitzvah to eat it why are we told not to eat it answers but says similarly that the reason we don't eat it is not to commemorate that Jacob won what we're commemorating is how this happened to begin with how did it happen to begin with because he was left all alone when a Jew is left all alone look what can happen look what can happen to a Jew who's left all all alone alone all alone. All right. Uh already on the clock. Next per the encounter. Jacob and Asab, they finally meet and Asab runs towards him and he embraces him and he falls on his neck and he intended to kill him but instead he kissed him and they cried and they wept and he raised his eyes. As raises his eyes. I saw one of the first points out the wicked evil as what does he see first a pure person a pure heart will first see the pure children he sees the women his eyes are always drawn to the women he sees the women and he sees the children he says who are these to you answers these are the children of God has graciously given to your servant they reunite skip to persuade Jacob says to Asv, "Take these gifts. If I find favor in your eyes, accept the tribute. Accept the gifts. In as much as I have seen your face, which is like seeing the face of a divine being, Jacob is really laying it on." Asov, as much your holy face, I've seen I see your face. I've seen God. I've seen the divine. If I find favor in your divinely godly eyes and face, if I find favor and please graciously take, accept, receive these gifts, what in the world is going on here? Rashi says, Seeing your face is like I saw your angel, your alter ego because I saw your I wrestled with him all night. How in the world can Yakov describe Asov, the face of the wicked Asov, like the face of God himself? Explanation point in what he meant was seeing Asa's face was like seeing the face of an angel. But what does that mean still? What's the comparison? And what's the analogy? So quotes his father and his father said the following quotes a different we have a we have an axiom we have a truth that hates there was there is there always will be some form of anti-semitism in this world. I don't understand if it's true. If it's aatic and on antlogical and absolute that as will always hate Jacob, how could he kiss me and hug me? He hates me. What's the answer? must have answered to himself in that moment. Who motivated, who inspired, who directed Asov to hug and kiss Yakov? Who allowed a soft spot in Asov's heart? If it's true, so aimatic and so true that Asov always hates Yakov, how and why would Asov hug and kiss him? It must be Hashem was protecting him. Hashem is directing him. Otherwise, there's no logic to it. How could it be? This is going against As's essence. It's going against As would go against his essence and his nature that instead of killing him, he would hug him and kiss him. It must be this was a miracle. There was a miracle. So when Jacob says, "I see in you the face of God," he wasn't lying, distorting, laying it on thick, just trying to say whatever was necessary. That's not Yakov. He doesn't ask it this way, but we could have. After all, what's Yakov's core character trait? Yakov is title Yakov. Yakov does not tell a lie except for when he told a few lies. But Yakov doesn't tell a lie. He's teaching Emily Yakov Jacob's fidelity to honesty, integrity, and truth. And here he is telling Asov, "I see in your face the face of God." Says of Juk, you know what he meant? "I see in your face the face of God. I see in your face you hate me and you want to kill me and yet you hug me and you kissed me. It must be God made a miracle. I see in your action at this moment I see the hand of Hashem." I saw this and I thought immediately, you know, last Shabas, two Shabases ago, Hila Neoyer of UN watch was here, one of the heroes of the Jewish people fighting the front line of the UN, the halls of darkness and iniquity at the United Nations, living in Geneva, Switzerland, where it's based, selflessly sacrificing, doing so much there. And he was talking about all that he does, how much he has to overcome, how much he has to fight. And if you pause and you say to yourself for a moment, how could it be in 1948, the United Nations voted to award the Jewish people the state of Israel? It's impossible that the United Nations hates Jews on Israel. United Nations. How could it be? So in that moment, there are moments where Hashem's presence can so be felt. A revealed undeniable miracle. A revealed undeniable miracle in that in that moment. In that moment used to walk around brisk and he used to feel to himself certainly Europe in that time god forbid places in America maybe god forbid in our time you say I know the statistics about anti-semitism I know must how how much hatred there is why aren't I be being punched and stabbed and killed ami it's a miracle from hashem Every moment of a Jew's safety and security is a miracle from Hashem. And that's what Jacob saw in Asov's face in that moment. Really, I know you want to kill me. And yet you hugged me and kissed me. I just saw God's revealed hand. I just saw P Elohim. He wasn't lying and he wasn't laying it on. He was saying it like it is. And what is the like it is? He was saying, "I see in you the face of God." We'll end with Rabbi Sax also has a comment on this. Kos paneim these words of Jacob echo in his remark after the wrestling match you know actually we'll save this for next year it's too long but after the wrestling match Jacob names the place pane because I've seen god face to face and been spared in lammed basiml with varants on the word panim time and time and time again we see that word pokim pel panim over and over and over Again, four times more. We see that word. What is it telling us? Remind me. Next year, we'll start off with this. Rabbi Saxs together. We're not on next week. We resume in two weeks from now. Have a wonderful week, everyone. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay holy.