MODESTY FOR THE FEMINIST GENERATION

[Music] okay so an average woman today that uh has worked on herself he young is healthy is attractive she uh made sure that she doesn't let herself go is asking why does the Torah say that a woman primary Mitzvah primary obligation in the world is to be modest what do you care if you don't want to look don't look why is it my business why is why do I care and why do I have to change my clothes or change my behavior because you men can't change your uh direction of your face you don't want to look don't look it's not my problem that's the logic the Torah tells us all are responsible for each other but not just responsible for each other as in one brother to another but also we're responsible for mankind and therefore no one is allowed to be simply selfish so one of the rules that hasem has in the Torah that's not just for mankind but also for himself is measure for measure so imagine you have a uh a man and a woman and this woman does everything in her power to attract her husband to help her husband to support her husband to love and care for him perhaps she uh was willing and able and did bring some children to the world for him and for herself as well of course but needless to say he couldn't do it by by himself uh and uh the uh this woman did everything in her power to make her husband happy our husband today could be a boyfriend our husband today could be somebody she legally married her husband today today could be whoever she wants but the point is well we're going to talk about you know what has been normal for the last few thousand years and uh she did everything her possible to to maintain a relationship and let's say they're sitting down they're having dinner and she made sure to you know groom herself and and and take care of herself to look pretty for him and to look pretty for too but of course she doesn't want him to not like her and the whole night every single time the waitress moves his head moves and every single time the uh next door uh uh table moves with a few ladies over there he also moves in his eyes instead of looking at his wife they're looking at everybody else so imagine that miserable heart that she has and a bitterness that she has against her husband and also how terrible she feels herself I'm not attractive enough he doesn't love me he thinks they're prettier and she has all these thoughts and even if he actually does think she's pretty and even if she he does think that she's beautiful and even if he loves her he simply loves his to follow his desire more than her has nothing to do with not loving her but still she obviously would prefer not to have such a husband and most likely would want to replace him at some point why because no woman wants to be second best needless to say 15th best so when a woman walks around IM modest in in such a fashion where she is not just attractive but she's attracting it's not a sin to be pretty Shem created a person pretty and it's even a Mitzvah to be pretty for you know whoever you're allowed to be pretty for which is your husband but to be attracting and in essence do things wear things act in certain way where you are attracting the attention of other men may not seem like a big deal when you're a single woman looking for a husband but what if the attention that you're Gathering is somebody else's husband and now instead of him looking at his wife he's looking at you and if we take it even deeper and you think about it further you realize that men and women don't just play Tetris together in Monopoly they also go and behind closed doors and imagine the man that she loves and she is willing to give herself to is thinking about a different woman why while he's with her in his mind he's thinking about this woman that he saw in a restaurant he's not thinking about the wife that gave him everything that he wants he's not thinking about the woman that is saying I love you no no he say he's thinking about some you know some woman that he saw that uh didn't give him the time of day and wouldn't uh but instead he's thinking about her he's thinking about how she looks what is that going to do to his wife destroy her it's literally spiritual murder so now when a woman is attracting she's attracting the attention of not just single men that could potentially be her husband but she's attracting the minds and the attention and the life of marriages and the measure for measure that Hashem punishes a woman that is creating such tension is that you created problems for other people's marriages therefore you will have uh problems in getting married or problems in your marriage and I'm not saying you particular I'm talking about the women in general women that tend to be the most beautiful women as far as attracting is concerned uh also tend to be the most lonely women uh usually they're divorced the most amount of times or simply never married and uh typically they end up becoming the most self-conscious women because they don't know what they're doing wrong but nobody would have them and not realizing that this is in essence not that nobody would have them everybody would like them but they simp simp are not willing to make them their wife why because hem wouldn't allow it because they created a problem for other marriages and therefore they're having they in essence that's the measure for measure that's one thing step number two is to also know that the Torah tells us especially in the world of zor in the cabala it's also in thear that each of our actions create either a angel that is going to fight for us or a demon that's going to fight against us good actions according to tah create an angel that will give us strength to do more good and have more Holiness bad actions create a demon that in essence will entice us to do more bad so each time a woman is uh uh makes a sin she's creating a demon each time a man makes a sin he creates a demon and that demon will will attract that person to more bad so for example people that you know do bad things tend to be attracted to bad things why because they have in essence made those uh their own Creations their demons Masters over them and they're influencing them it's like having a 150 pound weights on top of your head while you're trying to run it's obviously going to be a lot more difficult so the same concept here when a person that does a lot of bad wants to do something good they have a lot of resistance they have a lot of difficulty and it's much more difficult for them to do something that's relatively simple for even a little boy uh to do why because that Boy hasn't ruined himself yet and he hasn't made himself inclined to evil like the adult has and the same thing opposite you know a person that let's say has been uh a Torah observant for uh the an extended period of time it's much easier for them to pray it's much easier for them to to talk to God it's much easier for to do good deeds than it is for somebody that is either just starting out or never did why because that person that did good things has different angels that he or she created in order to entice them to do even more good whereas the other person doesn't have that in fact he has the opposite so there is a uh you know a consequence of our actions where a uh these these demons do influence our actions further there's something called nightmares even further there's something called night terrors I hope you don't know what it means but if you do then and hopefully it's only from theoretical knowledge and not actual knowledge because night terrors are hell on Earth it's being awake but living a dream at the same time and this is a result of immorality and idolatry those are the two primary reason primary things that cause those things one of the things that causes the highest level of immorality is when a woman is immodest and the reason why is because since she she is not only responsible for herself but for the world around her and how she is doing things to other people if her immodesty is or whatever attracting Behavior she has and whatever immorality she does leads another man to waste seed then that man is not just producing one demon he's producing many uh and by many I mean millions and those that punishment doesn't just go on him it goes on her too because she's in essence a partner to the crime even if she doesn't even know the guy he just looked at her on a video and he decided to do what he wants to do with himself she's responsible for it because she was a tool she made herself into a tool that he used in order to uh you know do what he uh what is less desired uh now again you're saying well it's not my fault well everybody can say it's not my fault but the truth is that if she didn't look that way and she wasn't that attracting um but rather remained attractive then of course uh he wouldn't do it what he did with her he would do it somewhere else and then she technically she wouldn't have any share in this situation same thing you can say about a person that's looks at another woman the other woman that he's looking at even though his wife is right next to her right next to him it's not our fault that our stupid husband is looking at this woman but she saying yeah it's not your fault but if you didn't look that way then my husband wouldn't look at you and he wouldn't think about you and he wouldn't want to divorce me because of you so this gets uglier and uglier as as as time goes on because remember we're not all going to be 20 years old forever we're now all going to be at a top sheep forever one day woman gives birth another day she wakes up simply tired uh she didn't put uh you know put her uh best clothes on or the best makeup on or she's just not in shape or she doesn't feel well so a woman is not going to maintain her attractive status forever she things go up things go down especially uh you know in in the world today when everything is so so volatile so a person needs to know that if if they are putting themselves in a situation where their whole life is based on uh on or at least a very significant part of their life is based on uh how people view them physically then there's a consequence for that too there's a certain people that you know a certain uh environment a person attracts as a result of their behavior uh and again this is a just a small microcosm microcosm of of some of the things to consider because most people don't consider other people they consider themselves they consider how it's going to affect them they don't realize that they themselves could one day be the victim where they could be 40 or 50 or 60 years old and their 60y old husband that they don't particularly find attractive anymore like he they used to but they love him dearly could leave them for a 20-year- old why because he can simple he can leave them for a 20-y old and why because he finds her as attractive and when he married this person she was 20 years old and he she gave him the last 40 years of her life and now she do he doesn't want her anymore he wants a new version and she's GNA say but that's not fair and that's not nice and I could do the same thing to him and yes you can but who would want to live such a life who would want to live such a life where you know that everything you have in your life is temporary that your relationship to Temporary and the love of is temporary and it's all fake who wants to live such a fake life and the truth is is that whatever a person does the Hashem does back to them uh as as a measure for measure and if a person brings produces good in the world good will be produced in return not just in this world but for eternity if a person simply acts selfish and they only care about what they feel and how they want people to look at them and to whistle at them like their dogs and to uh uh make themselves into public property then of course this is not uh not a person that's going to produce a lot of good last but not least always remember a a daughter of God is not just a Precious Diamond but is a Priceless Diamond which means that if you had aund million Diamond you wouldn't throw it in the air and like a ball you would hide it You' put it in a safe you'd protect it why because it is expensive expensive it is precious the only thing that people allow the whole world to look at without them caring is garbage that's the only thing no one cares if anybody looks into their garbage unless they're throwing garbage some private documents or something but that's usually not the case people don't care if somebody looks through their garbage it's not a uh it's not a uh a bother why because it's garbage if I needed it I wouldn't throw it out so it's important for a woman to know that if she respects herself she shouldn't treat herself like garbage that everybody could look at and everyone can touch and everyone can check and everyone can pretty much get a free uh free P to but rather treat herself like this Precious Diamond that's covered that's protected that only allows itself to be seen by chosen people and not necessarily by just any mailman that walks by her uh and and I think that the more a person looks into the T's perspective of modesty the more they realize that if they really did believe that they are a princess they would look like one and princesses Queens don't walk around with minis skirts and and Tube Toops and bikinis princesses walk around with gowns they walk around with a outfit that shows their royalty and every daughter of God is royalty it's just simple simply time that they treat themselves that way that's it it's not a persecution against women it's quite the opposite it's honoring women and reminding them that they're a princess [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music]