Modesty for Husbands - Rabbi Yirmiyahu Abramov

[Music] Salam alaikum in these turbulent times the challenges of building homes building a home building a family raising children in the property Radhika fashion has become enormous as I'll tell us that the central principle that permeates a home is God Allah Shalom great is the power of solemn of peace of tranquility this sets the tone for building a home for raising a children for having a harmonious family is god--all hollom when we published one of our safari mail books the family our strength there's a chapter the 25 principles of harmony in the home and when we took it to the great mechanic of the door the great sage of Volvo's efforts avocado sleeve raha for an appraisal and for a probation so after reading the safer he said he has one main hair Ora one main comment and that is in the twenty five principles that we mentioned he says we should somewhat chain is the order because principle number one should be peace should be Shalom by it they should be the home should be permeated with Shalom with tranquility with a Viroqua andreas so this is the essence of the Jewish home because I'll tell us in massive tesota that shalash he knows hain there are three hens three magical almost gifts that Hashem gives to people at different stages in their lives one is a Shambhala when a husband and wife get married Hashem injects into this relationship a special kind of offend it goes on to tell us that this was a hen mikuma Lavrov there's a hen of someone he has a special affinity an attachment for the place he's living and hen mecca hal leuco a person purchased something he becomes attached to it but the hen that occupies us and this is the essential of him is hen he shall bala there's a special hen there's a special affinity a closeness that develops as a gift from a cottage borough who and this becomes the act absolute main theme and the main pillar upon which every home is built this giving this wedding gift and Rashi says on in the gomorrah with the end of MEMS i'm he says that this gift is so strong that i feel ashame awho edits as rossi even if a woman is objectively ugly yet when she gets married to her husband there is a mysterious mystique of this hen he shall by law this is a gift a wedding gift come your home from a cottage bahu to every Jewish couple it gets married when they started I build their Myshkin mat this is way our homes are referred to as the Mishkan Maat a mini sanctuary and this is based on the pisaq Vasu li mikdash was a huntable a farm a sham makes us a mikdash in this world was so fantasy ham and he dwells within them a kurdish bow who dwells inside the jewish home his part and parcel of this jewish home and it is this which brings broke into the home it is this presence of Hashem in the home that brings us brought in solemn bias it brings us brought in the Honoka bonham it brings us broker in our perranoski and all our Devils imagine having a Kurdish beau who betrayed over a boy which hunty beside from he's dwelling within us the presence of the sinner everything is thali everything depends on the presence of the Skinner and therefore it is absolutely a central mission of every Jewish family or every Jewish husband and wife to make sure there are shams prayers permeates the home that our Shems presence is constantly there because this is what helps us live up to the challenges and stand up to the tremendous machinist trials and tribulations that our generation brings us the areia kurdish in the more a rush be a shipper of the areia Kaddish he says the following that every time a person a Jewish person performs a mitzvah so he is enveloped and engulfed with a certain spiritual energy a certain theatre - Maya a certain Scheffer comes down a person pulls down the Scheffer when he engages in a mitzvah when he engages in in the study of Torah now says they're real Kaddish since women are absolved from a whole sector of mitzvahs all those mitzvahs which are governed by time positive mitzvahs governed by time and a woman is absolved essentially of the mitzvot Talmud Torah so how is the woman going to achieve this spiritual energy the Scheffer that comes in the wake of performing these mitzvahs so the husband the male he's there is learning terror at every spare moment he's putting on tefillin is wearing Tallis and Fitz's he is engaged in so many missiles all the time this is bringing down into him the spiritual energy says they are real Kaddish that the husband brings down the Scheffer for his wife he brings us and he he says the ROM hull has parts um I'm at MIT it is a constant flow of energies of spiritual energies of rodney's of these powerful Scheffer that comes this bounty the spiritual bounty that comes from sam-i-am it's constant it's constantly pouring into us and this says the area Kaddish is what the husband he brings down the with its front through that scenario Sasha through the pipes of Scheffer these pipes of bounty he brings them into them into the wife he brings them to the wife he brings them to the family and this is something which brings about say the marushin a certain rogue enough she a certain personal tranquility that a woman gets as a result of her husband he's Isaac in Mitzvahs he shares them with his wife he brings these down he's bring these down this Scheffer that comes down from shammai now the hobbit time says however there is one instance where hashem elects to exit the jewish home he cannot be there and says the based on the pisaq ver o baja airavata VAR Rishabh may ahora ha it's the only place in the whole terraces look of a tribe where this lotion this wording is used without maha-rathah occurs bahu so to speak exit he moves away he moves out of there he cannot be they cannot tolerate when there is a situation of a vast over now let's explain this and let's understand this first of all we have to understand the ramifications of a shame departing the ramifications are horrific it says it's a well known Russia ish very sure if you take out the you'd of the ich or you take and you take out the the hey of the Isha you've taken out a shames name the you'd and the hey removing them what are we left with we left with two letters that's H that's fire that's must lookit that's diversion that's pain that's suffering and this is what will permeate a home where shames presence has exited and says the hot a time that even they are if there are any elements of air vent over something of immoral in the concept in the context of air for the context of morality between men and women if there's any element of ereve Dahmer occurs whoa who says Rashad maha-rathah there I cannot be unfortunately says ahem I exit now we need to understand this we need to understand why it is at the home which is permeated with so much fiducia we call the institution of marriage kaduche him because when a man marries a woman he's making a statement a public statement that you and I are only and exclusively for each other there shall be no other element in this relationship no man should invade the privacy of the woman and no woman should invade the privacy of the man the essence of the Jewish marriage and that's why it's kaduche in say so says the the Gomora the tasteless talks about it that they really the kedusha of kaduche in is such that she's contrition was a Mamet law only she's only for him and therefore we cannot have and the marriage cannot tolerate any kind of invasion is a very scary Rekha naughty the great before --is-- a ancient LaForest the Rekha naughty and the Rekha naughty says the following he says that there were two instances in the life of sorrow you may know of our four mother of the founder of trad Israel there were two instances in her life which were tremendously traumatic and challenging and Baruch Hashem they were rebuffed when Perry decided that he wants this she sorry I aphasia banished him she was a beautiful woman and when and this Perry this powerful monarch this King desired her and even though sorrow was hidden and even their sorry rebuff and rebuffed his advances and refused there was no contact whatever she harnessed the mala him to help her to assist in this challenge and Baraka Shem she prevailed and so it was with a V Miller another powerful political figure who also desired this beautiful woman sorry ma no and again here the mullah came in along with her via car and beat and wouldn't allow these people to come anywhere near her and Baruch Hashem Sora was able to emerge completely intact and untouched in every sense of the word yet says there a cannot e the fact that there were two individuals she from dota that they had a tremendous desire for her they coveted her they wanted her and connect after the Midrash says that para had a picture portrait painted of Sarah in his very living room in his very bedroom he had a portrait next to his bed of Sarasota soaped enormous was his desire for her and yet Baruch Hashem sorry on of Rome with his divine assistance were able to completely rebuff them and completely spurn them and yet says the riccati the mere fact that these men wanted her would have an impact on Clarice world iris and he says there are cannot e says it says listen parses my east lock he says that these two incidences will ultimately cause the horribleness of the tube atomic - so we see from here something astounding that it can be that totally inadvertently totally in a situation of illness but if a man's eyes on our own upon a married woman he isn't and he is trying to invade her privacy he is Sunnat a nerve he is feasting his eyes upon her upon her beauty in any way this is something which will have a very serious ramification say them a forum says the Rhea chorus it's mobile Bayless Nerissa Sheva if there's any other individual involved his mobile belt in Orissa Scheffer these pipes of Scheffer which are coming down the sea otter - Maya that is coming into our lives and our homes gets in the Bulbul there's some other external entity that's penetrated and and is trying to invade the sanctity of this unit of marriage this is mobile built in erisa Sheva if a husband Lowell a new has his eyes or his thoughts on another woman then he is awesome but Bogalusa Scheffer he's bringing down Scheffer to that woman and the chef is being deprived from his wife so one of the greatest catastrophes that can happen in the building of a home in a marriage is if we're and there is an invasion if there is external something external is trying to get into the sanctity of this marriage or if the eyes of the people within their marries the eyes and the thoughts are out of their marriage this truth is causing a tremendous bilbo of the scenarios a Scheffer a confusion in these pipes of and this inflow this constant inflow of chef's into our lives which brings brachii into our lives this is being very adversely affected the two vehicles which perpetrate this are the eyes and the thoughts these are the two higher senses that that a person has the eyes yes a naive says this foreigner embraces party remember head says this for no good really he bore when a person looks at something it isn't just like he's a camera that he's snapping a picture of what he's looking at but he's actually generating a connection a lasting connection it's go rambling he bore because he says the neshamah is muffin in my tomaría then neshama internalizes the sight that has been perceived and therefore the eyes is a very powerful vehicle it's much far more than a camera now crying we told the great Talmud of the rear Kaddish and the one who brought the copy the the terror sorry - Clarice well the her private al writes in towards the beginning of his great liberal arts race he writes over there that there's a very strange and interesting Minich in certain killers of Clara's role and what was this Minich that they would take an ostrich egg an ostrich a bat Jana an ostrich is this the biggest of all birds and it lays a very sizeable thick-skinned thick shelled egg almost the size of a football and the ostrich lays this egg and unlike any other bird the ostrich does not roost on the egg in order to hatch the egg every bird roosts and hovers and and sits on the egg warming it and ultimately until the egg bursts open and the chiclet emerges but the ostrich is different from any other bird the ostrich lays its egg immediately distance itself somewhat from the egg and then with a penetrating gaze it stares at the egg not distracting its eyes for a moment it stares and stares if you've ever seen an ostrich we see that they have a very penetrating look in their eye and this ostrich stares at the egg until the egg cracks open says from crying we towel that this minute was to show us the career of Revere the enormous strength that there is and power that there is an RIA RIA is something which effects not only does it internalize but it affects the subject that it's looking at that is the message from the ostrich and so sentence and important was this is behind without they would hang up an ostrich egg on top of the or encoders next to the the Ora Tommy the net meet in this place of honour that Clarice all should realize that the eyes internalize but also affect if someone's eyes are upon an object that someone is on the object we are not physical we are we are way beyond the physical a person is where he is looking so if someone's eyes is that upon another man's wife that person is affecting profoundly that woman he's affecting the entire intensity and this is a very very scary thing so it's not merely that no Indian of sneers cordobas Miller prema a woman is to try and keep her femininity and contain a femininity but if they are prying eyes that are looking and gazing upon her even if she is Bironas even if it is inadvertently as a rikimaru says this can have a profound effect and this goes into the category of hermes Dover ervice Dover is the invasion of anything from the outside into the sacred sanctity of marriage in lo Elena the same thing a man when a man looks at another woman and he has and he appreciates her beauty and he gazes upon another woman then this man is creating havoc in the sonorous in these pipes of bounty and this tremendous gift in this gift of hen of Macias hen that I could have bore who has given us then this becomes a huge issue which is actually affecting our homes and our lives that's the care of the rear there's a chaos of micawber the strength of micawber of the power of thought in the same vein a person is where his thoughts are that's where a person is when a person is imagining something when a person is thinking about something he's fantasizing about something he's there there was an amazing miser that was recently recorded an elderly lady annerose's royal advertised in the press that she is looking for a woman who saved her life and she saved not only her life but the life of other another hundred women what was the story so recounts this woman they were in this terrible death camp Sobibor and one day one of the young ladies in the camp managed to procure an extra crust of bread and she was caught and the outraged Commandant of the camp for this terrible crime these starved ladies this terrible crime of procuring another crust of bread declared he called all the hundred women in the camp to a Appel which is like a they stood in an assembly it was the middle of the winter freezing cold and these women are standing there and their flimsy clothes and the Commandant decreed that since this woman had the audacity to take an extra crust of bread so the entire camp will be punished all hundred women will remain at attention in this assembly throughout the entire night the women immediately knew that this was basically a death sentence because no one could survive in their flimsy clothes without moving around no one could survive that European winter and many of the women started saying ve some of the women were crying going through their lives realizing that the end was now gonna come and suddenly out of the blue a young lady chirped up and said my dear friends my girl friends do you know that today's Shabbos Kadesh I'm inviting you all to join me at my home for Shabbos and she starts describing her home and here coming to the home coming to my house please and here's the spick-and-span clean home everything shining with all the beautiful kalium showing him on the tables and oh what a home and the smells the shaba stick the aromas of the of the of the food that is waiting for the family - / - eat the typical Jewish home area of Shabbos says Shabbos gets a serve in and she invites them in and she says look around can you feel this presence of Shabbos let's light candles together and she goes through the lighting of the candles and then I sit waiting and she said ah I hear the husband's coming home from sure and as the husbands walk in so the husbands greet everybody with a group with a lofty Shalom Aleichem and good Shabbos shabbat shalom and begins they start singing Salaam alaikum and she sings with him Salaam alaikum Asia's Heil and they proceed for the through the kiddush and says can you taste the delicious wine such classier Socratic wine that that we have in our homes and then oh let's cut the challah fresh hot baked colors and they Teddy system tastes the fellas and shows she takes them it sings mirrors and then taste the fish my sisters can you taste have you ever tasted such delicious fish and she takes them to the entire meal and she continues talking and talking the entire night she is describing Shabbos on every little in my new detail the smells and the feelings and this and the joy and the symmetry and the songs and the food and the grant and the spirituality and the roughness of the Shabbos and she spoke the whole night the Nazi commandant and his men arrived in the morning expecting to find a hundred dead bodies and they found a hundred smiling women they were just about to say half dollar these women were in fact not in Sobibor they were transported somewhere else because the Koya of masiva can transport a person to anywhere when a person starts thinking of something solo elena this quay aftercare come saga which is the highest of senses and therefore has to be so preserved preserved carefully and has I'll say hero Akashi me Avera if a person just thinks it's more powerful in the sense than an action and with the care of thought I where a person can be taken to low Elena if a person takes his thoughts to other women if a person takes his mind elsewhere he is once again desecrating he's destroying the sanctity of this Jewish home and once again unfortunately Rashad maha-rathah the Skinner has to depart that's the clear from us over so we have to keep our mush of is clean we have to keep her mouth shut was focused on the real correct issues cus were solemn not outside nowhere else customers won't have others thinking of us because they are also affecting us the pride of Claudius RAL you look at the Yiddish a maid left the Jewish young girls in the base yank of schools and the different schools you look at these girls they're the height of Tania's they so pure and they sought Senora in their uniforms and their hair pulled back tan sama tsurara they're the height of Tania's and then Baruch Hashem they get married and then suddenly the sneers liquor made leftist nastika girls are suddenly introduced to terms of you've got to have a stunning wig who you look into Stanley it's going to be so gorgeous it's going to be so exquisite it's going to be so special and so glamorous and so attracting who these young to me mystique a meddler trying to attract what's going on here Daffy get a time when a woman gets married is the time when there's an extra measure of Tania's introduced into her life she is now obliged to cover her hair which she wasn't as a bahara she was now obliged to cover hair and this is centered this is sacred for no other eyes but her husband and she's now obliged to cover their here so how does she cover her hair with an article which is productive which is seductive which is is is is so attractive which is so suggestive the height of Hollywood fashion the height of the fashion created by the for Claudia's royal this is Clara Israel of course there is myleik is a post-game legitimate going on for some time about the concept of a paranoid crease and many many post skimmed whom aria that appear now mrs. mutter it's about 180 years old from the times of the Zara the concept of the piano crease became prevalent and the piano priest it's brought down in has our so of course there is a legitimacy to it but when the Hasan ich spoke about that certain sectors that they wear paraná great they wear the wig what kind of wig were they referring to they were referring to they with the wigs of yesteryear they were hard straw like type of which was so clear and apparent that there is a wig it didn't have the silky sheen of today it didn't have this exquisite and flow and these styles and the fashions and the length the width of the husband issue was a little simple straw like looking resembling hair to some extent and this was the wig of yesteryear that there are the poor scheme related to that was the wig of yesteryear but today a boy cites a different ballgame it's a new thing the we love today story of zalman airbus the great poster car doors era starting freakishly rocker said that her piace Oh Simba and I they are absolutely this speakable in my eyes because it's a complete departure of what they were Luke I'm Ken Kenny EV ski Hebert Allah hi I'm Dave Navarro him Frank and Jeff ski it's on full people brought him a whole box full of today's modern wigs and asked him to express opinion because he adheres to the principle of the hassanis that wings is certainly legitimate but when he looked at the wings that were brought to him Hein tikka wings today's wings he one of the other looked as it puzzle puzzle puzzle puzzle we heard from revolutions they had said if you could Ashley raw for the basic adorn review our ship called us in myself and my wife and he said I want you to write a book and sneeze this is the last safer that he gave his us , to called the the unique princess he wanted there to be a book written once on an Tania's and he asked us to pay special attention to the issue of the hair covering of the head covering because the head covering is something where that is where the essence of princes takes place because when a head covering its whole toughness is to be attractive and a provocative and calling and causing attention to itself when that happens this is absolutely defeating the purpose and I heard I was sitting with my Rebbetzin we were sitting variable Yossef and he said without a doubt and he asked us to write this in the safer he said without a doubt it's a diff to wear a kerchief some form of a head covering and not a wig based on today's wigs so a boy sigh we really have a a real situation where everybody with the most mobile of motors and everybody wishes to adhere to our locker and we want to cover ourselves the women want to cover them adequately and they want to beat Sandra but if it begins you know there's research done that the most attractive element of a woman is her hair that is the most attracting element to a woman is her hair so it's there such research there that's been done so Daphne here Claudius Royal Army Sosa 11 watts knew him Sheba always that we are the the holiest in them and and and the purest and and the most models of the nation's we have to have hair that is stunning and that's what it says in the advertisement stunning the glamour or the dilemma of the queef or the glamour this is Claudius royal who we trying to attract a Nisha lle I see in a hanami the woman has was endowed with beauty and this beauty is absolutely and only and exclusively for her husband she can wear anything she wishes to in the presence of her husband in the privacy of their home and the privacy of their room anything and everything is fine but when going out who's she trying to attract when the advertisement say oh these attractive wigs these attractive [Music] hair pieces which are are so provocative the voice said is a real problem we are completely missing the point the point of the whole exercise is to increase that sneers sneers by definition means not attracting attention so if a woman and she does it was mysterious nefesh she wants her husband to continue learning and she gets on she gets dressed and she puts on this stunning gorgeous exquisite hairpiece and it's long and it's flowing and it's shiny and silky and then the rest of the dress goes along with it it's a little bit too tight and then of course then you've got to to keep that look going you've got to have a certain type of makeup and then to keep that going has got to be stiletto heels and the woman prances off the same shall I be met the shame shaman she wants to to to to bring panasas her husband can learn so that they can be more partners in the family and yet she's walking into an arena where there are so many eyes upon her and this is profoundly affecting her and affecting the sea otter - mire of the entire home and affecting the exit of Icarus burrow who from the presence or a boy say we need a courage bow whose presence so much in our homes there are such challenges in today's day and age be it with the technology and the media and these the the the the massive massive challenges that are facing Claudius well today on the area in the area of Medicine aside in the area of sneers in the area of morality these were the big challenges our of our day and age so we have to keep our kurdish both whose presence there but there's the hobbits crying beside me are forever enough shaft the great Rosh Yeshiva wanna be safe it's adequate Kaddish niraakar wrote an article which was published all over and once again is flourishing this publication is around Eretz Israel and in this particles of shaft writes that the husband might be a great Thomas Holcomb in the London and he's learning with great mysterious nephesh Tyra if his wife is not dressed properly if his wife is provocative if she is attracting attention if there's a lack of sneer says roughshod then he's learning Laura lein who goes to the sit raha the learning goes down the tubes all his mysterious nefesh Vitara just dissipates and disappears because this is the most central cause of the skin exiting our homes to keep our children within left within the fold to keep our children as wholesome healthy Bennet area and children who who'll adhere to - - to what we have so much cherish and believe and want them to we got to keep them big challenges there's so much travel out there so the thing that will keep them there is the presence of the skimmer so why are we driving him away with the stupidity I husbands as husbands there really is nothing more beautiful than a wife who prefer preserves and conserves all of her beauty exclusively for a husband no one else should share in this no one else should partake of this and you cannot say we cannot say that by Ashley I am it's their problem if they want to look that's not true that's it's a mishil and it's attracting eyes and these eyes are affecting her and affecting the entire entity of the home now no seeum said connie ice really want to do the right thing they're mostly nefesh they're moist and nefesh for the shinnok of their children they moisten nefesh for the terror and for the mitzvahs I really want to do the right thing I asked husbands we need to give them the encouragement they should not feel that there's a need for them to stick out in public we've got to keep skin and our lives or voice I it's as good or for everything that we want in our lives the skin are being around is as good a foreign assets as gonna for she do him it's as gula for for for Hina Rabbani for Solon buys all these Cardinal issues which is so important to us it's all a function we shall hunt it beside him I got his bow who's with us and he's there and he's a presence and he's a partner in all our endeavors so of course we can rely on him he'll do what's right trusts wish solemn that we should be the ones that are chasing him out of her homes the voice I it says this whose machines it can hoist negaal me me me tribe boobies who's nursing sit corneas Rell and the ultimate gorilla will come about as a result of the nursing sit Conyers the Nassim they one two and they've got it and they've got the ability and they've got two levels of rudeness and they've got the desire and with it fillers and with helium and with thee with all these let us all just do it in such a way that with proper and it's decent and it's dignified and it's Minister and we cannot be there are some people are saying that the modern Jewish lady woman she is the height of fashion she is the one that's the trendsetter of fashion that the are coming to to to take a look at us and look at our wives is this clown Israel when I could is bow who defines the essence of a woman is quite by smell of Ponemah so let's keep it this is the beauty when a woman contains her femininity when a moment reserves her for femininity for a husband this is the essence so there's no there's no compromise here and we're not compromising our own relationships a woman can have a beauty for a hazmat expel exclusively and only for him it should not be flaunted outside and the revolution is beginning women are coming to their senses and here and there there are pockets of ladies with big mysterious nefesh who are taking stands and art and and and courageous ladies who are taking stands and there's phone lines and this teleconferences and these things that are happening and we see more and more people are becoming more and more concerned and aware let's be part of it the time is now the time is now we know that mushiya is by petaa we know that it's just around the corner dolia soil are saying it for the first time often I hate open-mouthed the Machir is just at the door and it's best witness it Conyers is gonna open that door and walk in and we'll greet Michelle sit kinda and as it says I'm behind you basura shame we want to be able to perceive and see I Curtis Baku then a new version collodion we want to be able to be there as traceless says that the Magnificent site is going to suddenly come upon us with a message with the base of meters cooler descending from shamayim and we went with pure eyes and a boy side with pure eyes it's iron but IRA it's only the pure eyes it's the pure gonna be who gonna be able to perceive this who gonna be able to partake in this who are gonna be able to be part of this magnificent thing for which Claudius all's waited for generations sir a voice I the time has come for us to take stands to be courageous to take that stand there's nothing that we're gonna lose from this only to gain it is not in any way that a woman needs to compromise her dignity her become a de kite that she should look she should look dignified like a bass Tyra looks but that she should be the height of fashion she should be the queen that the have to come and look at us because she's flaunting her beauty and some of it's completely artificial beauty she's flaunting this BRR BRR BRR BRR rice golly that's not LAN Israel here rot sign that this will continue and there will be a continued growth in this area that we'll be able to bring about a real kedusha and it'd be me rot sorry Oscar in Michigan we shall hunt ibis a home that wills will be able to be shortened with a chorus burro who in the base--emitter supreme hero be your main domain [Music] [Applause]