Missing segment from "Life After Divorce - Part 1"

right and and i would add maybe practically maybe you need help and advice from somebody to really make sure that this decision is based on what will be the benefit of the children not what this one is saying or that one is saying or to score this victory or that victory but what will really really benefit the children as leia said and i think it's just important to add in a general way and in a general note you know it's so important it's so important we all know in the best marriages and great couples and beautiful functional homes where there is basic livelihood and people are normal and civil it's not easy to raise children today you know everybody is struggling there's a lot of distractions a lot of trauma emerging a lot of different factors that you always have on these shows you know in terms of education and learning disabilities and emotional challenges and mental challenges etc etc never mind when there's such a challenge of a family being broke a family splitting up where there's a divorce situation even if it was really important and necessary to do let's take that for granted for a moment but now you know tati is in one home and mommy's in another home so we all have to be mature we have to become mature people you have to become a great person and even though all of us have pettiness inside of us and all of us have a yate sahara and all of us get jealous and all of us have difficult moments and we all lose it once in a while and that's fine you're a human being but it's so important to you know to paraphrase thomas paine these are times that try men's and women's souls when this happens to a family you know realize in in the best situation it's hard to raise children so it's so important for both of us for the mommy and tati who are now divorced to really rise to the occasion and say you know yes our marriage didn't work out for whatever reason but the bottom line is let's be invested together to give our children the best possible future and that means number one to realize that a child needs two parents and needs two loving parents and celebrate the fact and even if you despise you despise him or you despise her you and and for maybe for good reason we're really not judging that at all but you know remember that this is your child's father forever and this is your child's mother forever and them having a good loving relationship where they can feel safe and secure and soothed and seen by both of their parents is so so important and this consideration must transcend almost every other consideration in the world i said almost maybe every other considerate probably every other consideration in the world and not because we're not weak and we don't have our difficult moments but you know but but let's face it again and even in the best homes it's so difficult certainly when you have all these challenges so give them give them that opportunity give them that opportunity if you have to compromise compromise if i have to go beyond my ego and be beyond my insecurity and beyond my fear yeah this is what behooves me when you're going to be 95 years old remember when you're going to be 95 years old i don't think when you look back you will regret that your divorce was civil and that your relationship with your ex posted divorce was respectful dignified civil always making sure that the children get what they need physically emotionally psychologically spiritually socially you know i have a situation i just it's so painful a guy i don't know probably you can call him a monster i don't like judging people he tells his ex he says i'm not gonna they had they had a child together they got divorced bitter divorce i'm not gonna give you one day of peace i'm gonna bury you and bury you and bury you and bury you how do you call yourself a bentaider the shem such nurse to speak like this you're not embarrassed to speak like this you're not embarrassed you know all of our your ishmael we talk about hashem and it all goes right into the dustbin when we're angry at somebody we're angry at our spouse i'm going to bury you i'm not going to give you a day of peace where does a person come to say such words and how is this person protected by parents and by siblings who pat them on their back don't stand by when your brother or sister's blood is being spilled it's the responsibility of classmates and friends and and rebbies and rabbis and mommies and tati's to stand up and even if there's a disagreement it doesn't give you a right to enter into a world of blood and vengeance and revenge and hatred and who's gonna suffer it's not just first of all your ex is also a person also has an image of god you have to respect them as a person even if you're not meant to be married to each other that's number one the whole theory is about hillary said the whole term is what you dislike to be done to you don't do it anybody else just because we got divorced just because we have our quarrels and our bickering and our disputes and we couldn't be married together therefore it gives me a right to lose all of my nobility all of my menstrual all of my refinement all of my humanness and literally behave like a monster and such people have to be confronted by their families and friends this behavior is not allowed because every one of these guys is getting protected from somebody good job good job teach teach her or teach him this is not how we should behave my friends