Mind-Flex- Ask The Rabbis- Judaism 101- Part 1

okay good evening ladies and gentlemen welcome to the access panel of project inspire tonight we have distinguished guests we've we had the honor of having with us from Israel we have rabbi Orlovsky remember last year's one of these veteran outreach teachers as well as a general Jewish teachers world you know when we say veteran rubbering last you sometimes it's like veteran baseball player but don't worry he could still hold the bat you know but in Judaism when we referred to veteran somebody who's been there done that has heard the questions has studied the answers and has been there as really a leading a leading teacher in this field of course so I don't feel comfortable using the term veteran on Memorial Day weekend fair enough we have over of gob also from Israel God needs no introduction you know in her Taliah but he was nice enough to take us away from this vacation and questions and answers here and of course you ever be it's tom Felton I mean Sam is joining us from Lakewood New Jersey the hope the internet will of will stay up long enough to you know in Lakewood to to have a discussion remember last year um gobs rabbi fell time thank you for joining us here we're gonna be discussing some questions that came in some of them rather difficult questions you know we're a time here with the coronavirus where people even though they weren't so in tune with questions about Judy's maybe Judaism wasn't so relevant to them but these days they're they're more you know people are open to hearing open tasking and so it's an opportune time for us to discuss some key and maybe even some controversial questions about Judaism all I'm sure not another past you know your guys commenting on them I'm gonna start with the question I'm gonna go right to the jugular so to speak because this question came in from numerous people on some foot some form or another so I'm gonna pose the following question relaxed key as a veteran yes Memorial Day weekend but I'm gonna give you the first their first hack ended if you don't mind the the question came up this is I'm wording it based on the different angles that it came in question is if God is all-powerful all-knowing and all good why'd he allow for so much misery to take place in the world deserving or undeserving apparel asking Oh get some lunch listen oh um listen obviously this is a question that from time immemorial people have been wondering about so this is the underlying principle and that is if God is all-knowing and God is all-powerful and God is good then anything he does is good we look at it and we don't see why it's good that's obvious yeah and yet every single person has told me of incidents in their life that they were sure were terrible but they were sure with disasters and turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to that do you don't know you just don't know and and sometimes you don't even realize when it's over right now there's a big issue all around the world when should we open up when do we declare that it's safe to come out of hiding etc and we had a story from the prophets just recently where the Assyrians had completely surrounded Jerusalem and and it was starvation it was a terrible situation and there were three lepers we're outside the city and they said listen we might as well go to the camp and you know they kill us they kill us but we're gonna die over here of starvation they come to the camp and everyone's going everybody left they don't know what happened the people in the city don't know the people in the cities don't think they were under siege they're starving to death it's all over they don't know it's over so there are times in our life that we're facing difficulties and listen life is not made specifically to be easy otherwise there's no point in life god you just put you in the next world in a world of perfection and spiritual pleasure you're in this world to be able to accomplish something and challenges are the means by which people are able to grow and become better people we don't want them don't get me wrong we say in in the prayers every day lawyer gave me so you don't bring me the tests I don't need the opportunity but if God sends something our way it's almost always because we need this to be able to become better people we don't like the outcome but there's been many times of history where we've looked at situations and we Jews have been able to rally come out stronger and come out better and you know at the end of the day there's only one thing you have to remember and this is the most important thing to Judaism this world is not the end this world is a pathway right the first Jew is introduced to the world with the words lencois go on a journey we here a journey for this world this is not the destination this is the means to an end and eventually there's going to be a world that's going to be a perfect world but way in this world now to to grow and become the best people that we can and so yeah things are not going to go our way we're going to be disappointed and upset and the challenge for us is to be able to say as they said at the end of Fiddler on the Roof rabbi wouldn't this be a good time for the Messiah to come and he said yes but until he does we'll just have to wait for him someplace else we Jews have been doing that for 2,000 years we're coming towards the end of history listen I just want to share one thought with you I'm sorry I'm going over Tony Bennett and you know I'll try to be quiet but you know if I would have told you a year ago I'm going to close down the whole world like that everyone's gonna lock themselves in their houses the entire economy is gonna go to heck and everything's gonna fall apart you take me I'm out of my mind it can't happen and I was reflecting on the fact that the whole world closed down so there was inconceivable a year ago if this teaches us anything it teaches us that God can do anything and if God can close the whole world down yeah then he can bring the Messiah and change the entire world around like that just adjust them just to share my own fun of that I'll ask is that is that you know you broke the point that if God can do this you can basically you could do anything you bring miss yeah I always you know people have asked me I don't machetes gonna come to the supposedly gonna be this like show for blowing and like people are so busy running around doing it everything like who is even gonna hear it you know and I remember telling my kids sitting at you know the pay stuff table that no one was outside besides the cats running around then it the chuckle would blow now everybody would hear it you know so so that that that's your point is that you can shut down the world it'll be my cell time just to you you know obviously was that I didn't say nothing I started there's some people people are obviously asking questions like this you know obviously because things are going you know could be going rough could they could have you know know stuff know people that are sick know people that unfortunately died you know honey honey coming over our last keys you know broad view of this god this is what he does this is this what good is this is we don't see the whole picture etc what can you tell people that can get them to recognize that when they personally are going through these emotions at a time like this I'll tell you what I tell like I'll give you a good metaphor what something that I think happens in in in many houses every day you know someone has a teenage kid you have a teenage kid and you try and get him up in the morning you know to go to school or if you're go he's going to shul like you gotta get him up to go to show and you know that as parents maybe we never thought about this but we know how important it is how we know how he wakes up you know if the kid wakes up with fire he feels good about himself and he's got a sparkle in his eye and his teacher sees it and talks to him differently in the kids in class called him different and he gets positive feedback and it just snowballs for good if he stays in bed and he just curls up into a ball and and and you know and you walk in you go you know my she trying for sure you know trying to school and he goes I'm up I heard you I heard you and then he comes back five minutes come back five minutes later he goes right old you I heard you you know the third time you come in and ready it's like it's like it's like daddy you're getting weird like just just just I'm a big boy I'll take care of it you know so at what point does the father say you know let the guy sleep you know I lived you love your kid and it's hard it's hard to be a teenager you know but I know if I don't wake my kid up and I don't get him out of bed so then he's let's say he goes to show let's say your that's my life understands the metaphor but it's pretty universal it's a teenager I get the go to services in the morning and he he does this thing he feels afterwards I'm a good boy acting what I'm supposed to do well I'm on I'm on the page I should be on and then he goes to school and he is in the good groove and the teacher sees it and if he's if he doesn't go so then he can't make eye contact with himself let alone other people and in school the teacher sees that he's not really on board and maybe I'll call him out maybe the kids in the class are having a bad day so when he gets cold out they're gonna laugh at him and then now he got laughed at and little by little you you start to pull back from the world so what does a loving father do I seen my cute little kitties in bed I shouldn't my kid my kids the best he gets every morning like before me but somebody else's kid okay so kid like give me a name gob jr. posture shoulder posture shell gum tunas creating music already the songs about Torah before anyway is waking up the house with his guitar I'm sure right inspiring the world but a kid a parents dealing with a kid so you you're torn you love your kid but you what does love say does Lum say that you you you let her sleep Lama says you gotta get him out of bed it's his life how many times can someone in life and change your self perception and just become a chiller as all he becomes as the guy who always has excuses and he start then you start to hate the world I gotta get the kid up because then I'll feel like a million dollars and they'll be on fire this is how I explain God's relationship to us you see he loves us more than we love our kids cuz I bail out when when when I have someone that I'm supposed to be getting to do things when it's a kid or a student so I'll call my student four times like remember we were gonna learn this week once a week and then he flaked out and you were to come to Shabbos yet so eventually I stopped calling but I Shannon never stops calling because he needs us to live and to dance in his garden and we're living it was sleeping in bed pulling the cover over our head so I tell people that if you think about it in your life the people who you have to care for you'll understand this is the greatest sign of ashens love is that he's not going to give up on us we have to think how come we don't love our kids as much how come I will bail out and let my people who I'm entrusted to me self-sabotage so what you said were you saying what you're saying is that what Hashem is doing for us by things that we don't view as good he's coming after us as any good parent would to make sure that were at our best he's again everything's different you know but but in many cases he's not even coming after us he's just you know I look real in most cases most of our pain and everyone's gonna come up with that kid somewhere always cancer hospital but 99% of the time our pain is his things that we messed up on it's things that we and it's not actually even punishes us most what a shame does is he allows us to live with the ramifications and the consequences of our own choices at certain point he stops bailing us out and he says you know what you're not nice to people people are starting mean to you no one's gonna want to hang out with you you know and beforehand he was allowing us to come into school with a new iPod and everyone gave us attention and we had a new baseball glove but eventually he might take away because he wants you to live he's not punishing you he's allowing you to face the ramifications of that you were selfish nobody wants to be your French so ok good God so so all I'm saying that basically we're not viewing God as being you know mean or you know or he's putting so much misery in the world like the question was but rather it's a reflection of what we ourselves are doing you have what to add on the question of if God is so how all-knowing all good how could they allow for so much misery to take place in the world yeah listen like you mentioned before it's hard for me to really relate to it living where I live as you see but but i but I will tell you that you know sometimes life for someone else looks so beautiful in the end you realize you know it's mister green screen anyway back back to my home it's a kind of weak green at that even a nice green and why not I wanna first I want to say just a few points and it's to quickly move on to the next question I just want to first just comment in the last point I first I totally disagree with both of them like very like with um Alaska Natives thought I'm like totally totally disagree the truth is I don't I agree but I want to keep the listeners attention so what I'm just gonna add a little bit to Riley feldheim first off is that that's a huge point to know that that God allows us to live with the ramification of our actions at some point we do have to like man up or woman up or person up and only allowed to say now these but we have to mmm up and start realizing that there are things that we do and we are we're responsible for our actions that's that's for sure there are people after though that are gonna say all right but I'm suffering I didn't do something wrong now what okay good question it's a very good question and it is the question we just read in Pirkei avos saying be a day no right but in the path with a pair of us ethics from Sinai part of the oral tradition in Judaism tells us it's not in our hands to fully understand comprehend the ways of God God is beyond us it's a reality we can know there is a God and we could relate to that God as much as we can but we have to know that God is God I'm gonna use that expression God it's there's a reason we use that expression because it's a little bit more a little a lot more than what we are but but I do want to I want to point out one thing we are we are a panel of people that have been through stuff in life every one of us and and we've had experiences you know it's it's interesting that when you have these type of questions a lot of time you have someone who who didn't really experience the type of question that someone would have asked and then then the questionnaire says like ah what do you know so I'm not gonna tell you who we should play a guess who game which one of the panels panelists had a heart attack you know which one had two heart attacks which one had to fly home because their child was in the ICU which one spent a week in the ICU you know every one of us has been through stuff we've all experiences so so for the listener to understand this is not coming out of we're not blowing hot air this is this is our life experience and and I could tell you the following idea which has been very helpful for me it's a great question it's a really very powerful question and it's the question it's a question that even in some form that Moses asked the Moshe Rabbeinu asked however understand the following idea reality is reality and if a person is not willing to accept that there is a reality then you will always live in pain it is necessary for a person to understand that maybe I don't understand why something is happening but if I'm not willing to accept that it is a reality and that it is happening and that there is a God that loves me then I will always live with this question and that's why we have people and all the panelists we've been on panels together where we've had this question from all across the board spectrum of religion and of gender and and of age and sometimes you get very old you're asking the same question it's because you're not willing to just accept it I I wanna I wanna just we'll just I guess finish with this one point we'll move on is there's a well-known story to me and you know like when the TA speaker goes a lot of old story like I never heard that well that's because you don't know stories but you know for us we know the stories the well-known one as a well-known story that I know and my panelists as well at least they well the end of a rabbit fill in the blank of who the rebel was who was the great rabbi and someone said rabbi why did God have to do this you know why did God have to create the world of pain and suffering and whatever so the rabbi turned something says you know what that's a great question let me ask you a question if you were to be God how would you have created the world he said you know rabbit rabbi what I would have done is I would have made no hunger and I would have made no illness and I would have made and then another guy walking by said yeah and I would have made that everybody wins the lottery and I would have made etcetera etcetera and then then one of them gets rabbi what would you do if you were God he said if I were God I would do exactly what God did because God knows a lot more than I do He loves us and only wants what's best for us so even if I don't get it at least I get that I don't get it so that's what I would say to this to be able to accept it to move forward I'm not the nine people's pain and suffering people of pain but to be able to say hey there's some times we don't understand it how can I grow from this and where can I go to the question of pray but you have a comment on any of the no he doesn't have any comments no no we're good I know that because you told it to me I just wanted to share that with everybody but you know when he was speaking about how accepting it you know I'll match you consider ecstatic story you know somebody came to the rabbi and said listen you know how do I deal with all my pain he says go to Azusa so goes from sucia and he's poor and he's suffering and he's sick and he's all kinds of problems and he's embarrassed even asking the question he says what can I do for you so he says well I wanted to ask you how do you deal with suffering he says I don't know I've never suffered am I and a lot of suffering is the life that we choose to live and and that's why there's a powerful book called illusions where this guy is trying to explain to him that this world is illusions we live the life that we want and he takes him into a movie and he shows how the person gets lost in the movie you see someone get killed on a screen that guy's Hollywood you know but it pulls on your heartstrings you know so he says that's what the world is it's a movie he says what about people who have lives that are suffering because why do people go to horror movies where do people go to sad movies that make them cry at the end of the day you can't control anything in your life you can't control if you're gonna be healthy or sick if you're gonna be rich or poor you know if you're gonna be beautiful ugly you're gonna be smart or stupid and for your people in your life are gonna be reasonable you can't control anything all you can control is how you choose to live that life and I choose to live a life of happiness and live a life of goodness that doesn't mean that everything goes well for me yeah you know if I had my choice as I pointed out earlier I would rather be ripped out but I can't live the life that God has given me and I'm picking up another green screen on the green I had a post on the wall that said if they're running you out of town grab a baton and make it look like a parade I want I know it's like too early to start like it's good - aliens first of all a joke I I'm done a joke unfortunately know many people like this if God would most people I know they get most of their joy by fetching could you imagine a world without suffering they wouldn't be able to catch this is how Jews enjoy themselves you know anyways I wanted to say this it's a we're talking about it a little bit only from the negative side let me just show it to you from the positive side the sick it's the same dynamic when when trips come to Israel and they go to Masada so invariably there's always one kid the group who looks around when no one's looking he takes the cable car while everybody else is climbing the mountain you know and they get to the top and they're all sore and aching and should stop and this guy you know the mask is his trick he pulls he pours his canteen over his head so I was sweated up the years and he goes oh that was terrible but but you could always tell which kid is the one who took the cable car from the group picture on a top of masada either he's the kid in the corner whose feels a little awkward and doesn't feel like deserving of being in that happy picture or more likely he's the kid in the middle being overly dramatic and overcompensating for his guilt in his shame that he didn't really climb the feeling that week God wanted us to have in his world he wanted us to stand in the top of our Masada's beaming with her hands out he made free rides and free trips don't deliver that we live with guilt and shame were not meant to take cable cars were meant to make the climb not because he wants it to hurt because he wants that total satisfaction on top in the in the Cabela's forum they even call that the deepest trade of God that God is the only thing that was not created his self caused whatever that means morally optimal in cabbalistic language we have a chance to be godly and to be the course of our own satisfaction - and we'll go I'm gonna go to you with this question first because it's come up a lot as I mentioned before people you know during this time specifically know a lot of people that are not well and I've begun to pray for them and people begin to question their own prayer and the power of prayer and the question came in why we need to pray three times a day and why is the script fixed doesn't that take spontaneity and individuality out of the mix it means you know the concept is like if you need something you pray and so why the structure of praying three times it'll go to you first okay these are important questions these aren't like panel questions these should have a three-part series each give a shear on Vinci I mentioned before that I'm sure many of you have entire series but to give it at least a boundary at least I'll try and give like a table of contents of excellence I really felt I'm spoil it back and listen to God the whole time like just go go go then I marry chance yeah I see the Sun is almost going down there you guys are gonna have to die I know I'm gonna go home after this and my kids are gonna say why did you let calm talk more okay so so so so first you know we pray three times a day because everything in Judaism is built on three we have three patriarchs because there are three why did George people have to be built from three patriarchs because essentially there's different ways to relate to things Avraham those who know the basic story of Romney's called Jessup his his relationship to Hashem is one of love he's the one who ever um Oh Harvey God calls him Avram Abraham who loves me Isaac is God's worker he's he's he's he's my loyal dependable go to his an invitation and Yaakov his trade is teeth and msy Yaakov ease his Torah is wisdom is truth and I'm not gonna get into how you see these things but but each of them created one of the prayers because there are different relationships if you love Hashem so so love says nothing comes first the first thing in my day I get up and I talk - mmm it's all you you know I'll add one more detail listen it'll give it a little is that avrami it's a cognac of when they created their prayers the Torah says they each created it in the same place the the Hara bias the mountain that that that dark ADA was on but but it refers to it by three different names Abraham called it a mountain Avram went to the mountain Isaac may get stuck it says he went to pray in the field and he calls in a field and Yakov calls it a bias he served our Shem in the house but it's the same place because if you love Hashem then you get up in the morning and you just want to talk to him first and you see the relationship as I'll climb any mountain no mountain is too tall I'm gonna get to I'm gonna be with you Asha Yitzhak is God's loyal servant and he sees the relation to God as a field the field is three plough his relationship gosh Emma is a worker Hashem you can count on me I'm your go-to guy and therefore you dive in min ha in middle of the workday I love nothing more when I'm getting a share in Manhattan and I haven't down a min ha you go to some random office and every building in Manhattan there's a minimum and in the middle of the day and people are taking elevators up from this office architects and bankers and lawyers and hedge fund managers it's anyone who's not aware this phenomena it's worth traveling to Manhattan or maybe any big Jewish city but Manhattan is the easiest to find these things just to have that experience of seeing diverse people coming together dropping everything to talk gosh I'm 15 minutes that's Isaac and then finally you have Yaakov lack of his truth Yaakov is the day is over I'm going it's all quiet and now I shall everything put the kids to sleep can we talk can we just connect and as Jews where we're supposed to connect in all these ways and therefore we do our chakras min somehow if we say the same words but there's nothing in common in the morning you feel like you love Hashem people are still sleeping and walking in this note and and and in the afternoon I do mean how I feel like Hashem you can count on me I got big shoulders and that night just me and Yasha because you went into a an angle of setting up the specific prayers of the morning afternoon and evening our life's gonna ask you specific because the question the question is asked not meaning this beautiful concept of the the morning afternoon evening in terms of prayers specifically shouldn't prayer just be if I like some thank you God and if I'm upset it W no meaning meaning why why are you doing this to me heal me you know etc shouldn't it be spontaneous in terms of praying to God absolutely and that's why in the good old days when men were men and women were women and prophets for profits everybody was able to compose their own prayers someone said to me once twice praying to God for 15 minutes straight without repeating yourself it's really not as easy as it seems yeah so there's so many things we wouldn't think about between me and you right when I sit down to pray how many of us are thinking of the fact that L I'm saying to God send me the Messiah resurrect the dead bring the world back to perfection I'm not thinking about that that's I think small so that's why when the Jewish people saw that prophecy was leaving they pulled together the last of the prophets and said you write the prayers so that within those prayers are an elasticity so that I can express what I'm feeling you're feeling sad you can fight it in the press you're feeling happy you can find with the press hopeful needy enthusiastic depressed whatever you want it's in the prayers and it's all been built in there and you have to try to find it obviously that's one of the big problems that's why you know people pray and they don't understand that that it's my job to make the words meaningful to me not just the brain I say to people people say to me I don't enjoy praying I said you don't know what you're saying he says why I have an English translation I said now you don't know what you're saying in English before you didn't know what you was saying in Hebron I don't know what you're saying but you have to take those words and make them your words and make them say what you want to say cuz the prophetic spirit is in those words most of us just don't have that gives the prophecy I was excluding frozen company but you know so we go sit down and pray I know what to say I know what I need I can go deeper than what I expect so you're saying really it is everything that you would want to spontaneously say to God are already in the structure of the prayer it's our job to connect to the parts of prayer that were actually feeling within the realm of what of what the prophets put together but no one's saying that we're not supposed to do / prayer it's just we we have a framework as a starting point if you want is supposed to make it besides finding your own ideas in the prayer do your own thing too this is just a safety net that we're gonna make sure you cover all your needs every day and cuz it when you're sick you're just gonna ask for health we have a big business deal you can ask for money and then you have a fight you need Shalom but every day you need all these things so you're not present so we have a prayer that includes all human need and and you take your checklist and then you can go off on your own tangent whatever you want that's the best do both right right I want to I want to add to that point a crucial point and I just want to make a note to the fact that you say okay fine but the same thing every day the same thing every day the same thing every day you know I once was talking to a couple and and I saw they had this issue that every morning the if the husband or the wife would say to the other good morning and the other one is fine good morning and and then and then the next day good morning I said why did why why the same thing every day keep saying good morning to me and they have to and see could have to look good I'd say good night and then you say I love you like why don't you tell me you love me all the time what is that what's with the I love do you think you said it yesterday you said it the day before you said it a day before you know felt I'm sure you've heard the the the idea of which I was over last year I think about this about a better there was a bride a husband and a wife that they were having marital issues remember that guy who his name was um you met you know what is that picture actor but point is that that husband a wife they're talking about this is live in Acapulco in any event the husband that of the white comes in says we're having a problem like what is it the Sun is setting but um the wife said the wife said you know my husband goes to they maybe never have I insist but it was a therapist rabbi thing she's my Amaya my husband never said that he loves me he never says he loves me she what he never says he loves in fact conversation I gotta talk so called him the boy and he says not tell me I hear your wife says that you don't say you love her is this true and he goes yeah sure and he was not expecting that is that your fight that whatever you know and he goes what what you don't tell your wife you love it you just listen we got married right rafting marriage you know you go into a room spend time together I said honey I love you and until further notice that's the status quo right it doesn't work like that that's not a relationship a relationship is you speak in the morning and you speak in the afternoon and you speak at night and you have conversations and you know what sometimes the conversations are exactly the same again and again and again I think the biggest issue here is not necessarily issues I think people don't recognize that prayer it to feel as a conversation with me but it's talking to a sham it's talking together talking to you beloved no mind I felt I pointed out that we have no mic of the safety then like a velocity pointed out these are the things then we are built inside of them everything that we really do need everything that we want so at the same time come to reckon let's put those together they brought us home yes of speak from your heart realize it's ended Fela do it daily to remember you have a relationship with the coders borrow home and even though you said you love him even though you said you love them make sure you say it again they said that's a question we have really three angles events over you know whether the structure of prayers all included in there and we have to know what we're saying parts of the of the put together prayer in order to connect with God and your point was really is that these three times a day concept really connecting with God as any relationship as opposed to the guy who says his wife I love you you know until further notice anyway as a son says okay let's go on to a it's going on to another this really sweet questions in one I want to sort of tack you just summarize I actually mute you guys after I stop I don't want anybody coming okay here's a question I'm gonna read I'm gonna read out a few different ones over here and I want to tackle this because it's sort of its own its own topic it's the question is as follows from the outside looking in Judaism seems to put women in an inferior position to men in terms of leadership scholarship and many other areas of human expression why and it's be to that which came in as a separate question shouldn't women be able to pray with a minion at the western wall which obviously pre corona was a thorny issue it might end up being again can we address against women in Judaism how Judaism views women its etc I'll start with you our last you come on you seem to be out of time I want to thank everyone for coming but wonderful talking to you know I was going to seminary I was gonna court or laugh ski but I grew up you know I remember when I used to deal with this topic in a leadership training seminar so I used to when I'd answer the question I used to tell people I said if in your heart of hearts you're a male chauvinist and you think you're better than women don't answer these questions because people will see right through you in a second yeah the fact is and this is where my point comes from Judaism is based on reality and anytime you veer from reality so then Judaism is not going to keep up with you and history has taught us that whenever anybody has messed around with Judaism they were real for a generation or two and then they disappear because Judaism is a representation of what God wants in the world and it's real and so it represents reality so I was in a class once in discovery and someone said your note I said are there any differences between men and women and this woman said to me no I say I can take a moment look around the room and see if you could spot any differences between men and women and she goes okay physical ones I said physical ones you think the fact that people are physically different doesn't affect their their way of thinking those oppressed professor Gilligan from Harvard who said that the the whole way of thinking between men and women are based on their physical differences of course people are different now God could have made us all asexual it worked for the hydras worked for the paramecium's and it cuts down on dating you know when you want another one you splitting their looks just like you I can't imagine anything more wonderful than that if I was rubbed off but but the fact that matter is that you know I could have made us different so that we can join together I remember relationship era once at a beautiful thing only a left and a right hand can join together the two left hands can't join together he made us different we're supposed to be different vive la différence so if we're different physically and and we're different emotionally yeah when you said that giving us some prison complaining I always said I love you you know I know right away that wasn't a girl you know yeah you know people like to hear that a lot your girls guys are okay I told you like you said I told you three months ago that was fine you know but people were different emotionally and different emotional it means look at John Gray who wrote metaphor Mars and women are from Venus who's much more of an expert on marriage than I am because he's been married four times I'm unmarried what but you know so he he describes the way men and women look at life differently so if you different physically and you're different mentally why do you think God didn't make us different spiritually and therefore what works for one person doesn't work for another so group prayer is designed for men why because men are incredibly external obviously you know they express themselves externally women are internal you can see women always thinking in themselves I got this email once someone said you know the different men and women is that two guys can sit and watch a game for four hours without either one of them saying a word and neither one thinks that the other one is angry with me we don't need to express it we have it all on the inside women need to express the need to discuss things they need for that that's part of their makeup that's great whereas men were external listen let's come to the simplest thing when it comes to creating life which is the best way to tell the difference between a man and a woman a man makes an external contribution a woman internalizes that and turns it into a baby let's see how that changes your outlook on life well my wife was pregnant early on should we go like this what's the matter goes the baby's kicking me that's like the movie alien okay there's somebody living inside of me doing stuff to me you know that's like crazy so he's going to see a foot you know it's like do you understand the closest a man can come to that as in digestion we have no idea what it means there's somebody so internally inside of us so of course the where do we learn how to run an x-ray from Cana she's a woman she goes into the mission and she stands it without talking and her lips are moving and she's not moving and a li figure she must be drunk weren't you chanting what men like to do group sports you know and women reach inside of themselves very similar to a Jedi Knight yeah so Han Solo who's a guy he has a blaster he goes Bam Bam Bam and Luke so his Rebbe obi-wan Kenobi you know says to him use the force reach inside of yourself and you can be more effective that's a woman she has the force and she reaches inside so so what is on Joe in terms of role in terms of role does Judaism in fact view more inferior to men or is it just a matter of difference just different of course is not inferior yeah it's it's you know the the the when it comes to when it comes to intelligence women are just as intelligent as men women think in different ways as psychologists of duelist is left-brain right-brain you know they think of different ways but they were there were at or scholars or women there's there's no reason that they can't be right it's just that you know Robert said Helen once said this so beautifully if you hear someone who's the most powerful person in the world they'll tell you the present United States and if you ask somebody who had the greatest impact on your life they'll tell you my mother you know so that so the question is what's more important to you building people or knowing I could nuke the world yeah so depends of you look of your externals then you want the ability to go out and destroy things and if your internal then you want to be able to build people and so if a person decides to dedicate their life to building a person how could that be wrong and since God made women more internal so Judaism is designed to help them develop that internal and men are more external so it helps them develop more that external so which is better to begin to no external what a ridiculous question you know we're just more bored it's the whole question is ridiculous if you don't have one without the other it's impossible I just want to quote a line that I heard from you a number of years ago which is until class you said you know what men have in mind when they say thank you God for not creating me like a woman and this woman was who tell me tell me tell me is you really want oh yeah tell me don't really wanna know nothing I know I know it warms your heart to think that when my wife is so sleepy and I have to get up and I have to go to synagogue you know I mean I'm half asleep mumbling the blessings I'm going thank God I'm a man I got a full disclosure nope rabbi sounds I'm here thoughts and Judaism I'm viewing that women is superior than men all right so I love the Jedi thing and the Han Solo is beautiful that way who are you obviously gave it a lot of thought like Jabba who who who you were channeling is really younger generation um what are you guys are actually gonna translate into like sign language translating for the star was challenged his name was reaching in reaching out you know okay listen I don't have the sense of humor these guys I have to make up for it with controversy so that will make you cringe and keep your finger on the a bleep button what do you have got a sticker me so it's all nude nude okay all right so we had you have an editor on staff I'm sure but I think it's used by I'll aside do this on colleges all the time and they're far more liberal and then your audience I'm sure so if I survived it's not as bad as it sounds I want to make two points the first is is really to build order belowski said just a little subtly from from internal and external these two words in Judaism for holiness you see because this kind of thing can tend to sound a little patronizing we're different and you have your strengths we have ours it sounds a little it can sound a little apologetic and to make it to make it real with it it's people have a people have a right to be upset listen if God if God is God he's got to be fair and if he'd sphere and he's just this is a trade God then he can't make different opportunities for men and women it's not fear it's a very legitimate question and it deserves northern soundbites so I just want to put it in a larger Jewish context that there's two different words for godliness kadosh and Taher holy and pure and how are they different if you visualize God is up there and we're down here so there's two different jobs to be godly one is if you're here you gotta climb up to God you gotta become holy and the other one is when you're Holy you're ready there you have to make sure you don't lose it and that's called pure purity and holiness are the same holiness is what you've achieved and purity is when you've defended it in short we see men as being born with the absence of godliness lazy arrogant vindictive lustful that not gonna be punished for that because they were born that way a man's job is to climb the ladder and become godly the woman we believe is already godly when she's born all the traits of God in the Torah every girl has at the moment that they enter the world loving kind sensitive giving sharing selfless the woman's gonna but she's not gonna rewarded for being born great she'd it was born now that was a cable car for like I said before she the woman's the woman the world is gonna do every single thing it can to degrade her and to cheapen her and knock her down a woman will be more faithful at the end of her life how much did you hold on to what did they succeed it at ripping away from you and the man how much you accomplished at changing and therefore we have different missiles the missiles are in prizes this is the main nugget if the midsole surprises then then it's not fear you make a birthday party for your kid and and what all the kids get lollipops and jellybeans and one kid gets asparagus that's that's that's unhealthy that's crazy it's not fair right that wasn't even funny snicker okay all right I'll show you anyways if it's not fear that that one person would get prizes another one isn't it so the answer is mitzvahs are in prizes they're tools they're tools to climb to change yourself and therefore men need certain tools to grow to become things that women already I neatly are he now here's the controversial thing that the cringe-worthy that the metaphor I give in colleges I said let's say I own a tanning salon okay I want to counting salon Michelle Obama walks into my tanning salon okay and I give her a look like this little surprised look is that racist though some little feedback is that racist am i a racist if I give a surprised look to Michelle Obama walking at the my tanning salon you know we do here you're already ten they want what you got this you're welcome I just want to make sure I'm not wasting your money is still if you're trying to escape the paparazi welcome you just like the warm sunlight it's all good it's not racist because you it's just I'm surprised when the Torah tells women when the Torah door has different laws that women don't have loss of meaning or it's fill them it's because you're already tanned it's not sexist the men need to artificially recreate levels of godliness that the women have innately that doesn't mean women don't have a job women have a job the same ladder it's a job to ward off all the precious to lose dignity and maybe that's a harder job but I believe ultimately they have to be equal charms okay let me say the second point no I can't do any of these properly it's sixty seconds good you have to cut me off but I want to say this is general rule is that you know again controversial when I was growing up Michael Jackson was the most talented person in the world far in a way there was no one who touched his toenails we grew up trying even in the Shiva elementary school all we did was try and break try and do moon walks and you know if the kid who could moonwalk everybody was like like this is how he grew up but but Michael Jackson is one to me is one of the saddest it's one of the saddest people of his own ologist I don't have the right adjective but it's it's very troubled he spent his entire life ashamed of who he was he had skin treatments Dyess skin white he had no his job after nose job he wanted have a child he had he had to had a surrogate woman who was white so that if it's sad that somebody can be so unbelievable and and yet live their entire lives insecure not proud of who they are and thinking that something else is better this is the saddest thing in the universe when somebody doesn't know their value and they want to be different and this is something that everyone in any group needs to know to measure yourself I know Jews who just want to embarrass them everything Jewish and they just want to be more why can't we do it the way they do it they do it better and women who want to be men men want to be women people have to understand that that that you that it's not the whole question of looking at them and saying how come I can't do it that way is is starting so deep in a hole is is you're supposed to look around and feel sad for everyone else that do not donate your way that's the way we should ask the questions is how come the women should be saying how can the men can do our stuff and the men say how can the women can't do our stuff instead everyone's looking at everybody else I just want to put it in that context okay I'm sorry excellent thank you