Daf Yomi Sanhedrin Daf 76 by R’ Eli Stefansky

[Music] good morning rap here with us for a while already comes every single morning learns in the co so I want to give a to him and they put together a big breakfast and because of the whole stick thing I failed to mention it and I put in my slides a number of times so finally here I am every day since then brings in a small breakfast also I don't know if we have the picture here yet I sent it in to Gary it should it should take another 10 minutes and we'll be in here oh here it is the one and only Joey Levy who's been part of our she and a big big supporter of the she came to Europe with us made a last night and I had a nice because I was I had a meeting with no and lasted until past 1 in the morning and 1:20 a he text me he said are you still up I said yeah and I happen to be dressed still so he videoed me in it was this beautiful thing to to be able to say I'm thinking about thisi with his drives him from comes into and Joey by the is texting not this is the he's texting are you coming to my during the he's like yeah I'm 10 minutes away so ma the the couple should see a lot a lot of sim and uh good news for cl is I like this email a lot from Mor he says you may call I wrote to you a few months ago about meaning a meaningful experience I had during y when somebody shouted at me and I chose to remain silent this experience was taught by you to stay quiet during your shum I'm not so quiet during my shum but I I guess he learned something I don't know what which has touched thousands of lives including my own who knew that keeping quiet could lead to so much Shar that he gave three people a broa but on his way out he was thinking to himself wait a minute I need a broa my daughter needs a so he gave himself a br that she should get engaged within two months and he also gave a br that same day to his cousin and they both got engaged the same day I am now delighted to invite you to my daughter's upcc coming wedding your presence would be a tremendous honor please find it attached I understand your schedule's likely very busy the is in London so would love to come but you last Mya because he's my I allowed myself to do this it's a little bit of a but in his last wedding I went to the KAS for 5 minutes at 10:30 to 10:35 I said and he was very happy cuz I said listen he do he wasn't at my daughter's wedding for five minutes so I but that was that's my so other good I go for longer and those who are more sensitive I go twice I go before the for a little bit and then I go after the but if it's local but I don't think I can make it to London unless we're doing a share there or something so but for the invite I love the email you changed all of these three people's lives I just want to show you some of these people that's the that's the that's the subject you changed all of these three people's lives no doubt you changed all these people's lives forever the sh is how this one in particular this is my father-in-law the guy on the left so I changed his life neb I feel bad for him the one in the middle his name used to be Phil burn his name right now is Pinas burned because of the shear he changed his name and the other one is y Shanker they both do the shear and he says all the way at the end saw the whole thing with he says P Burns Illinois a big fan of the goat Mard listen he's from Chicago ask time the crow did I say this one in the English year I did why is it doing it what is it doing oh I know why oh yob S I think he might be here today he might be one of your friends is that you how you doing sadic dear Bell I was thinking after it's he's he's saying a good hor here you might not notice you might not realize that what he's saying has a lot of truth to it so I'm going to say it here that our good friend seltz isn't here somebody have to explain to him what this means anyways but deell I was thinking after this year about all the sermons that go on sh exactly at the moment that you try telling a story and it came up with a wonderful solution it should help everyone know we're trying to make a status please don't talk or have your phone ring right now and more you should install a button at your M that will turn on a red light on top of you and hopefully the editors have the ability to make more than one status a week from the whole day he spends learning but he's learning the da every day beautifulob so what he's trying to say is that we try to do these shorts take out one piece per shear and it becomes very hard to do that if in middle of a story somebody corrects it didn't happen over here it happened on the train and uh it kills a lot of those shorts people want it on purpose they want to kill those shorts or they want to be in the short but they won't be in the short cuz the D has to take them out but kids are okay great last week went on a trip to Prague we got to start this out because they have a tremendous amount of soak today so we got to get going here on both days while traveling by bus for quite possibly the first time ever listen to this this the first time ever instead of just smoing to my fellow passengers I managed to do the da something that would not have happened pre mdy days it has now become the norm to learn on buses and planes it's Ms Ms Ms what I did yeah I said yes o o it's Kai then to show the picture you know what it is because these this I also said yesterday no today but it's because I show it in the Hebrew shear after and stays in there that I read this AR arov probably so what didn't I read oh you know what this is mha Goodman from b bash B many nights on Zoom from New York and of course this Che this Shear changed my life PS my son M will be in Israel for the month I hope he makes it over to this she here he is rabi Gman all the way on the right now um I introduced this yesterday that the women um are doing this um WhatsApp group and I hope that uh you men you tell your wives about it because they can get a lot of a lot of to help out so there's a comedy thing other comedy connection connection and comedy connection and comedy is called Tuesday March 4th guess who's the one pushing this whole thing behind the scenes No one other than Nan gan's wife makes sense no push the the husband pushes the guys the wife pushes the wives she she does what the other women do they give to each other by Maly kler RSVP wives MD should join encourage your wife to join these groups the [Music] group who started learning AG 7 Contin for 32 years until he was for the unity of the Jewish people Glenn erson with loving gratitude from Wilmington North Carolina thank you for enriching my life with sponsors wel for the Speedy release from house arrest ofos arind would be better if he said okay we read that one extra word I'm just saying it's like the most a three-word thing the Fallen hostages monthly sponsors the month sponsor hyk ventures in honor of and for the success of all our clients by the way I want to point out that this picture right over here it meant a lot to me because those of us who know what's going on like n fix and and and Hill and all all those they know that this for AI kamanski to be at this wedding took a tremendous amount of sacrifice St think about it he he's not eating he's not sleeping he goes for all the way to like sh he's in a he's been in America for over a month and he might not be coming back before P him that's how intense it is over there in his trial he's he's in court right now he told me that when I was he said I have to catch a flight in x amount of minutes he's like he had it all figured out he's going to to to the tri so he came on a plane to to the wedding I don't know what he did it was like that's how friendly he is and that's that's the M it's unbelievable B he doesn't he's notzing with us he's not I don't have time like Mish okay anyway he should come back with good news soon where was I art of the month did I say this one it's it's a Bagan here K month Israel and Steven P on the 20th yard side of Israel's father Sher Michael Ben oh on the occasion I forgot about this good on the occasion of the engagement of Brandon Ben toam Cen Ma I haven't seen the guy in a long time he has an apartment here it's coming soon May what's that's you I'm I know it's not you but you know about this may of Elizabeth New Jersey should have Al and the Art of the month there's a lot of art today art of the month for Rebellion so many in honor all the work they do so made last night I know him very well yeah Ma Ma okay details to follow so yesterday before we get to that we have to just finish off the Su it's going to take about 45 minutes and then we're going to jump into the a it's amazing agda today hold tight you're going to love the sugya maybe yesterday a fascinating question ask anybody in the street they won't know how to answer are you allowed to marry your own grandmother the answer is say yes no are you allowed to marry your wife's grandmother absolutely not so how do you know that your own grandmother you're allowed to marry here your grandmother here you have a person on the bottom and his grandmother M says okay says because it says you're also to your own mother and I I D and not to your mother's mother and the story story says ra I don't need this why do I need a pic for how you going to learn it you're going to want to compare the left side to the right side the the right side to the left side you want to learn from your mother from your wife's grandmother that your own grandmother is AER there's no way to learn that that's what he's saying that's it there's no it doesn't work you can't learn one from the other they're not they're not they're not the same thing there's different it's not the same thing now in order to understand what saying so he says a very simple concept he says it's called something called just the concept in sounds scary but it's not so it goes like this when I'm learning something from somewhere I'm learning something from somewhere how much did I learn from there did I learn everything every single detail or I only learn one thing from there I just learned it's AER okay so in our case it would be very simple I'm learning my grandmother from my wife's grandmother my grandmother is AER that's that's it that's all the only thing I learned what what's the punishment I can't learn from my from the other one I'm going to learn one thing only or once I learn from there I learn everything I take everything with it so if I learn your own grandmother which makes no sense right everybody say what your own Grand of course it's aesome everybody ask your wife wives go home and say is a m to for me to marry your grandmother first she'll whatever she'll give you the whole she doesn't she doesn't allow you to marry another woman but that just theoretically you're allow to marry my grand absolutely not of course not and the answer is not so po you're allow okay so when I learn my own grandmother from my wife's grandmother do I learn the is what's what's the the the do I bring the also to my grandmother that's I do more I learn everything here so Yosi did a little thing not that it's necessary but why not two guys are getting a ticket here so has the dut the whole thing he gives the the Corvette a th000 shekele ticket and six points does that mean so if I learned that the the motorcycle guy gets a ticket do you take everything with it does he get a th000 shekel ticket with six points that's no you learn everything a ticket and how much or no a ticket yes but but you get less you get only 500 and two points CU it's a smaller vehicle okay so that's so let's see inside now we have a lot of one of the we have a lot a lot of charts today to explain this close to 60 but it goes fast we're we're already holding by 23 cu the emails and everything else okay so we're holding RAR is that what we're holding rar Rob says you don't need a why does a Bas say you need a to tell you that you're allow to marry grandmother you don't need a how you going to know that you can't marry grandmother from your wife's grandmother you're going to make say it's similar no you can't learn anything from your wife's grandmother did I say yes sir I didn't learn okay so let's do the reason why you're not allow to marry grandmother here that's the the chart that they showed before you only marrying your own mother or having relations with your mother and we don't give you any marrying your own grandmother don't need it doesn't matter how how you learn either you learn everything you learn a little bit I will not be able to learn out of X sha from my wife's grandmother to my grandmother it's not going to work and therefore if I can't learn it out then I don't need a PK and what am I left with that you're allowed to marry your own grandmother if I learn everything out of my wife's grandmother so check this out let's just jump over here here we go we're already at chart 26 I want to learn the right side from the left side the left side says that my wife's grandmother is AER to me my mother-in-law's mother AER so I'm going to say number one I'm going to learn that she's AER so too my my grandmother's AER and I'm going to learn another thing me know me know I'm going to learn everything just like my wife's grandmother Isa so too my grandmother Isa that's what I want to do I want to learn everything know not step number one my grandmother's step number I'm going to learn more and what is the punishment hot lead down the throat now first of all what is more what's the most severe punishment according to according to according toim that that's the most so now I could say you can't learn my grandmother from her grandmother why now just pay attention this is only according to this says is the most now if I say that is the most then I don't have this question so the is going to say in a in a minute that if I hold that's so this question goes off the next question goes off but I'm going to be left with the third question okay so what's the question according to this by the way what's great about today is that this is an interesting Su but we're going to have fortunately for us AAR word for word step by step all over again however in a completely different Su cool it's going to now we're talking about a grandmother and then on Al we're going to be talking about a daughter-in-law it's it mimics the same it's the same style it's a very different style and it mimics one one to one but just on a completely different topic it's like a new so say if you hold that is the most then I I have a a bomb question on you're you want to learn your grandmother from her grandmother it doesn't work why because of this hold on I went too far this is where we're holding should learn that the're both says no I can't why because his mother is bisila so it goes like this the right side is is more is less severe than the left side so I can't learn the easy thing from a from a from a from a thing I can't learn C from the the left is so severe they get the right is the mother only gets skos what am I what are you learning from a a very very severe thing one thing has nothing to do with the other so that's one one CID what's more severe SRA or skila according to not depends we're going according to the now that SRA is more severe we we just said is more severe right does it make any sense to you look at the chart on the right side does it make any sense that your own mother who's closer to you she gets the lesser the less severe punishment of skila and the grandmother which didn't know anything about but we just learned her from your wife's grandmother she should get a more severe punishment SAA doesn't make sense what both okay yeah both should get ra how's it possible now if you say that skila is more severe now it makes a lot of sense and that's why this question will fall off according to the mandar I'm just I'm just saying it now cuz I don't want to say it later it's going to be too difficult this is only a question if you say that is and is it makes no sense that a grandmother should get the more severe punishment than your own mother but it makes a lot of sense that if sfe is less severe like we Askin like the oh your mother you get the most severe your grandmother get less severe that's great that this question will fall off according to another question I want to learn the right side I want to learn my grandmother from my wife's grandmother but look and my grandmother they're both everything's the same the mother and the and the and the grandmother are both the same identical uh they both so to make the the the the is it important now middle of the sugya oh I skipped sponsors wow okay this is very important actually okay so we'll get to it let's let's find a break you'll tell me when there's a break I'll I'll do it so what's going on here this is super simple on the left side they're Botha so on the right side make them both skila or Botha well you can't make them both because the mother we know is skila so make them both but the point of this question is since I don't know what to do I could either learn the my grandmother I could learn from my wife's grandmother and make her sraa or I can learn her from her own mother and make her skila so since I don't know what to do that's enough to throw this whole thing out that's what Rashi explains that's all if I don't know I just don't know what to give her what what punishment should I give I don't know what to give it's God now just explain I did a minute ago but I don't want to get into it exactly but here look what Yoshi did at least for this we had three questions question one two and three those are all dependent the one and two are dependent on the question is only if you say is more severe let's say let's go to number two on the right right top Corner we just said how is it possible that the mother thank you that the mother gets a less of a than the grandmother but that's only if you say is more if it's the reverse so the mother just got the more so one and two fall off the the table we're going to be left with this last one who told you maybe let's mimic your wife's grandmother your wife's grandmother and mother the the the the the penalty is so two mother and grandmother on the husband's side should be SK so now I'm confused I don't know what to do you're telling me and I should learn both you should learn Raa also that the the grandmother gets Raa no maybe she should get skila so since I'm confused I don't I could go both ways I have two ways to learn it I don't learn anything just because of this third question I cannot learn my grandmother my wife's grandmother now that's according to the says now let's just take care of the what does that mean I'm just going to learn here this is what it means I'm trying to learn the right side from the left side I'm trying to learn that my own grandmother's which we said at the end of the day we'll never find a reason for it but explains why because logically you can't learn the right from the left so means I'm going to learn the right from the left but only one thing and one thing only that what it's AER not the penalty here okay so my wife's grandmother's user to me and so is my grandmother that's what I'm going to say just like my wife's grandmother's and I'm going to just leave it the way it is over here my my mother my mother-in-law's mother is why why his own mother a person's own mother is skila I don't have to go there yet so to my grandmother's B now let's just do the question says the reason why I can't learn it this was still going and you say is more holding good luck over at 9:30 today so I'll ask a question here look look at this we have a big problem your own mother gets skila Skil is less than stra from According to this and your mother-in-law is is is how are you going to learn the right side from the left side when the left side is much more severe another question question number two who the man's side should be like his wife side over here check this out your wife's daughter and your wife's grandmother have the same exact punishment they're both and therefore check this out now your your your your daughter so maybe your grandmother should be S and if that's the case now I'm stuck I don't know what to do on the one hand I want to say it's skila we we establish it should be skila I don't learn the from my wife I do my own my own why I want to make her similar to my mother wait a minute maybe you should make it similar to your daughter so now I'm confused when you're confused what do you do you give up in this case you don't learn anything yeah yeah am you're saying you shouldn't be should learning right you shouldn't be learning anything no no you are no no means you learn from itself so learn from itself learn from the husband's side the husband's side is a daughter you learn the what you're I I hear what you're saying we're starting from the logic the logic is look at the the wife side the wife side how do you know what the the the oish is you look at her daughter whatever the daughter is here I'm not trying to learn from my wife side I'm just look at my daughter my daughter the same my daughter my my grandmother should have the same money or no maybe I should learn from my mother so okay I don't have any clerk no clerky so I can't come up I can't say this aesome just just out of Interest what's the what's the for your wife's mother yeah that was in the mishna yeah that was remember we had the whole mishna um the first well yeah it was the first word in that mishna I don't expect to I don't either remember it well it's the the mother-in-law and her and her mother or just the mother but everybody agrees mother-in-law is in that category in that first word says okay fine so now that's only because you said that's but if you say those two questions fall out of this out of the Wayside but this last question we spoke about that stays and therefore therefore I cannot learn a grand my side my grandmother from her grandmother doesn't work now Grand new so yeah let's do it right now sorry first of all I I have to apologize to the best husband and father in the world shimy leafman on his 40th birthday first of all it's 40th birthday car to rebell for changing all our lives and bring so many people to T from your wife Benji Miry and Dina I apologize I really wanted to make a video for shimmy maybe I could still do it but I like I was overwhelmed with these video requests and I said okay I'll do it and I didn't do any of them shim we should all be to see a lot of from you you should light up bring many more people from this one is missing from the list okay fine okay now BR seriously but we're all familiar with the whole thing it's it's unbelievable it's the same Su but it's it's it's kind of on a reverse now so but it's the same thing now check this out everybody knows that your own daughter-in-law is 100% aome to you you can never marry a daughter-in-law it's Isa what if you marry a woman second marriage and she has a daughter-in-law how does she have a daughter-in-law before she married you she had a son who got married and that that guy either died or divorced his daughter his wife it's your wife's daughter-in-law are you permitted to marry your wife's daughter-in-law you might even be married to your wife now and you want to marry her you want to have two wives your wife and her ex-daughter-in-law m m just for that was that to come today so now just like we did this whole thing about a grandmother we said a grandmother's M Grandma's M make her AER learn it from her grandmother doing the same exact thing with a with a Kala just now the is is on the wife's side before before the grandmother was ass on the wife's side now the daughter-in-law's M on the wife's side the daughter-in-law on your side is AER it's flipped but it's the same logic it goes with AB says I'm just going to say it out says I have a to tell you that she's m says I don't need your how you going to learn it from well if you hold I have this and this question if you hold I have this question so I can't learn it out and if I can't learn it out a remains M let's see inside it's not a it's not a popular and you have both of them back to back it's just interesting and cool now it starts off interesting also like as if we spoke about something before we know that your own daughter-in-law thank you you're holding we're holding by kala here AA on your side on the right is AER your daughter-in-law is 100% AER that it doesn't matter if your son dies or not iser however the Kal on the on the left side your your wife daughter-in-law daughter-in-law is M but maybe I should make her AER and do this I should learn just like your iser so too she's a comes once again m is like by grandmother at the end of the day it's she's m and he says no I'll tell you why it says in the bo say I don't need this do I don't need a whether it's the Corvette with the motor cycle whether this way that way whatever whether I learn everything out of it or whether I only learn one thing out of it it's not it's not it's not something I can learn why so we're going to learn everything from her so we're going to say just like your daughter-in-law's so to your wife's daughter-in-law and another thing as you see in the chart we're learning two things andil now and now this is also a flip before we said the whole what now we're going to do very good same logic same everything well look look you can't learn you can't learn the the right from the left or the left I'm sorry the left you can't learn that your mother your wife's daughter-in-law is also from the right because the right is you see it says in the top and you can't learn C from look his mother's which is it's easy that's only if you say now if you say this questions goes off so the is going to say the same thing the two first questions are going to fly off if you say and we're going to be left with the last question boom Another question does that make any sense to you that you that her daughter gets the Lesser one which is because we're going in the M that says right just to confuse you just to make how is it possible that daughter-in-law is more severe than her her own daughter if you have relations with your wife's daughter you get and and and with the daughter-in-law you're going to get skila how could that be that's not a good Kasha here yeah check this out does it make sense that your wife's daughter which is much closer to you than your wife's daughter-in-law and you're going to get the easier things SAA versus Kil say check this out yes that's exactly how it works in your own life in the man's life your your the husband the husband his own daughter gets a lighter Misa calleda and his daughter-in-law is much more or you get skila what's the logic that I don't know it's not it's none of my business that's what the T said so yeah it mimics it one to one what's the problem maybe there is logic you know maybe people have a bigger problem with their daughter had to give a a bigger bigger is I don't know what the logic is oh sorry that I skipped so we knock this question off anyway even though his own daughter is more is closer to him obviously than his daughter-in-law and he gets lesser lesser here let's go over here both of them have by by the by the just like by your mother your mother you get skilo we discuss that mother gets Kila and the daughter-in-law gets Kila so two by your mother-in-law is the daughter-in-law of your wife should be that doesn't work CU we're going we wanted to say that we learn everything from the right side everything means it would be not and there's a problem yeah we want we wanted to say skila now we're holding by it doesn't work and if if I don't know what to do once again I don't know what to do so I got to drop the whole thing there's two possibilities here either skila like we started off and now we're saying logically it shouldn't be Skil it should be I don't know what to do well now if I hold that is the the more severe one the two other ones fall off and this last one this logic that hey let's match them up they should both be the same Misa so therefore it come out that your wife's daughter should be not that's very problematic and therefore I do not learn that your daughter-in-law iser I don't need a POS to tell me that there's no logic to to say that she's AER because I don't know what kind of to give her and therefore she remains m i don't need a say now one more step and then we go to the really we go to and according to says listen I only want to learn one thing from my own daughter alone that's she exactly what kind of Misa that you could decide on your own here so my daughter-in-law she's L to me but and she I get skila my wife's daughter-in-law she's AER but then you can come up with your owness you want to say great but only only learn one thing not both things by me on my side the husband's side you get why where I come with because her mother I get the mother-in-law gets so the daughter in-law gets but if you hold that is the more severe out of the penalties look at this is more my own mother I get skila so therefore the right side is the more severe side I can't learn right from left cuz left is and right is you made a distinction between the daughter-in-law and a daughter sorry sorry sorry sorry on his side on the right side you made a distinction between your own daughter and your daughter-in-law yeah MH how much what does the daughter-in-law get which is going and the daughter is less Sever and therefore you should do the same thing with your with your wife's daughter-in-law and should get and not you start off saying you should your wife's daughter should geta now you're holding that your wife your wife's daughter-in-law she should get skila so make up your mind if you can't make your mind then you have to drop the whole thing now if you say that is the the more severe one then the two questions drop off the last one of I don't know how to make up my mind remains and therefore I'm left with what my wife's daughter-in-law is m to me I don't know what we passing I guess she's probably AER maybe not my wife we don't have a right that she's AER certainly I don't need end of story and we're really going to get how did this go was okay says like this what I don't understand the premise of the we said we have a we don't need a because we can learn it from logic but then we the logic doesn't work then we don't need the P like then we do need the P I would think no no the opposite you missed one step that's what I'm I realizing you if if a p doesn't say something's AER then it's not AER so but I would think that it's AER so says I have a POS to say it's not AER brother says there's no reason for me to believe that it's AER there's no reason for me to believe it's AER why would you say it's AER oh you have logic to say it's AER that logic I I refuted the logic everything that you try to bring to me any logic you try to learn my my wife's daughter-in-law from my daughter-in-law just because they look similar and they sound similar there's no logic to compare them this one has strafer this one has skila this one this there's no comparison there's no comparison there's no reason to me to say that a let's go we only have three minutes how do I know that my daughter out of marriage means no marriage she's L to me how do I know that there's a the what on my granddaughter I have look I can't have relations with my granddaughter if I can't have relations with my granddaughter certainly I can't have with my daughter what's the problem with that logic how you going to you're going to kill somebody based on your logic it's great logic and what if I was wrong with my logic what if I come up to sh they told me your logic is terrible I just killed somebody based on your logic you can't do that there different three different reasons why it doesn't work but how could I punish somebody give somebody penalty based on logic no you didn't understand it's not it's how did I get to my granddaughter how do I even have a granddaughter the only way I have a granddaughter is from my daughter so if my granddaughter is answerer to me so certainly from where she came from is answer to me it's not a I couldn't get there otherwise now what's an amazing this is going to really shake you up look at this logic Rashi says but this you can't learn a what's this a person is not allowed to have relations with his sister what kind of sister the T only says two types of sisters what's missing from here the third sister one sister is she's related to me through my father the other sister is she's related to me through my mother what what about if she's related to me from both of course she's L to me uhuh uhuh no no no no no stop it makes a lot of sense what you're saying and every sister that's related to me from both is related to me from one she is my father's daughter but wait no no no she's not my father's daugh she's my father's daughter and my mother's daughter she's much worse than my father's daughter so maybe she's not also to me you're using logic you can't use logic over here but I never got to my my sister through something I didn't I don't have to C somewhere to get to my sister she doesn't have to be my both my father and my mother's daughter daughter in order for her to be my sister she can be my sister just being my father's daughter but over here the only way you can get to a granddaughter is through your own daughter that's the only way to get there therefore it's not you don't even have to use the the daughter the granddaughter is also to you so your daughter is also to you okay so we have these we saw yesterday it's called ha here's the from here I learn that my daughter at a marriage is also to me just like the daughter of my wife that says mentioned this possible let's remember this name because in about a minute you're going to forget it so I'm just pointing it out since I don't have a to tell me that my own daughter iser to me not my own daughter my own daughter at a marriage is also to me that's why I learned from a different POS if you think about it it should have said the daughter of a what's a man a daughter of a man of aen it's just say the daughter of a of course he's a man he coming to tell you cuz he fathered her alone not in a marriage he's is it's the daughter of a is by himself without a marriage it's interesting that the the the girl gets SAA but the guy gets so maybe maybe if he has relations with his own daughter she should get and the father shouldn't get in that the reason why she gets is because she's she's defiling whatever the word is her father guess what over here she's not doing anything to her father her father's doing to her her father had relations with her he's he's his own undoing okay so he doesn't get off how could how could you say anything like that he says it doesn't make sense what you're saying over there what are you doing the worst thing that you're doing is he saying that the the the guy instead of him getting the that she's getting he'll get something else which he normally deserves what is what do a regular guy that has relations with a get he gets so okay so forget that she's a best he'll get over here what do you want to do you want to say the the father shouldn't get what his daughter gets and what should he get what a regular guy gets but guess what she's not married it's even in a case where she's not married she's a Pua so there's no there's no Misa so you shouldn't get anything that makes zero sense that she should get and he gets zero he walks away first of all R says it's there are always equal especially the man usually gets more than the woman so how can he get less than the woman doesn't make sense what kind of din you give the PO no way next how do I know every time you want to kill somebody there has to be a p in the that that gives a warning where's the warning over here how did learn he said we said oh you can't said it's not a real it's that's according to we had a so wherever you learning that's how you you're going to learn the the warning what does say anybody remember I told you to remember I said in one minute we're going to have it is the word is says there is a five five words don't your daughter that's the warning I need for something completely different oh here's this's where the GU is starting don't defile your daughter maybe means don't let your daughter marry or even a Ley where you give your daughter away not for marriage so I need it for something else not to tell [Music] me for your own daughter I learned from I learned two things from here what do the extra L if you marry your young daughter off to old man who can't satisfy her needs she's going to turn to you're causing it you're the cause of it this is incredible this to us the first part I don't know people that do that but this happens in our society as well it could happen where a father doesn't allow his older daughter to get married why his own personal uh calculation for instance say Rashi he needs a sponge cleaner he needs a cleaning lady and he can't afford it so what does he do he tells his daughter that is terrible that's a bad and he wants her there he's in the nursing home he needs his daughter to take care of him she's been a very good caretaker it happens he doesn't allow his daughter to get married what's going to happen she's going to turn to other things who's this poor person and this person who allows his daughter to go unmarried you have it also and this I'm not going to say specifically but a marshall CU they might be they might be right but sometimes I know of a family who there's a bottleneck the the the oldest girl didn't get married she's 27 years old so now they're not letting the 26y old even to go out is that a problem of we said it might they might be okay because in Allah you know the first one has the right and this but something to think about what are you doing to your daughter says I don't like this that it's two different things is a Russ a conniving Russ Who's the who it is one thing who's this coning Russia that's the person who doesn't allow his older daughter it probably means like a 13-year-old already she's a she's 12 and a half and he's not allowing 12 and half year old to get married this is amazing really amazing because get a lot of people I had a whole conversation with somebody in this room just two days ago about this not this this idea sometimes the father tells you something and we have this idea that you have to listen to your father it's not true if your father is giving you bad advice he's telling you not to get married in this case he's lying to you he's telling the daughter don't get married this is a terrible sh that's a Terri keeps knocking everything but he knows it's a good but he doesn't want you to get married because he needs your personal help at home Rashi says it here look at this Rashi look at the last word he doesn't want you he doesn't want to buy so he doesn't let you get married that's bad advice and you're not to listen to you not allow to listen the question always occurs and I don't want to get myself into trouble but why not I'm ready here CU should should a boy stay sh in Yesa father says no you got to go to college you got this but that's not the right thing maybe ially maybe you should stay here you know the r gets involved so but but I have to listen to my father so it gets it gets what do what do you mean you have to listen to your father if you believe what do you believe you believe this is the right thing for you who says you have to listen to your father he wants you to go to college and I don't want to go to college what is the right thing you have to think huh you're looking at me like I'm crazy huh what pain money talked but it's not that he's right it's not because that's something else he doesn't want to pay the $330,000 here okay I got it sponsors turning to Da Global experts in International Financial Services Dr Allan and bar and my dear Father Joseph in honor of entire I said them I think so didn't you show them to me somebody who marries off his daughter to old man and you marry your young child your young son under Mitzvah to a woman now you're causing that woman to do wrong things so why can't you give back an A so it says rash because you're showing that you're only doing it out of um politeness and out of what is it called I'm looking for manners etiquette etiquette but not because said why why return the wallet to the Jew because of the same etiquette they returned to the non-jew so showing you just ruined everything that you did for the Jew the says the another reason that you're not allowed to return because then the Russ will have more money to use for bad things says if so if you know that he's a upstanding citizen he's a doctor he's not going to use the money for riches he's not a bad bad guy so then you are allowed to you are allowed to return it a lot of good stories here but unfortunately we got to go vter um I said them in the Hebrew huh the the Thirsty will be satiated won't forgive you telling me you're not let to marry off your young child you're 9-year-old to older woman your wife how do you treat your wife you have to love your wife like you like like you love yourself and you have to honor her what me you have to buy her jewelry or let's say your wife wears a sh you should buy your new sh you have to be there's a big question here I have to Happ here because it says you should love your wife like you love yourself guess what you have to love every Jew like you love yourself after might be the number one thing so what's is they say that you have to love your wife to the point where you feel her pain and you feel her Joy feel this some of you might not want to hear this you can walk out right now what does it mean if you have two things on the plate right now two things she needs you to uh turn on the oven and you need to make your phone call you have to do her thing first that's what it means you have to do it before and you give to your kid in the right way and you marry them off right before their Mitzvah so it says over you allow to marry off your son to a woman before he's even Bar Mitzvah we said before it's a problem you'll have peace in your tent you'll avoid sin says the answer is if you do it a few months before then this woman is not going to be but otherwise if he's really young she go elsewhere if a person loves his neighbors and he brings his relatives closer to him soash says this is so in the time of the it was a big thing to marry your own niece why because you're very close to your niece you're very close to his sister so you have a great relationship with her so you have a great marriage even according to got married to Esther as uncle and and a person who lends money to a poor person when he's how do you say in English he has a lot of a lot of pressure very I want to tell you real quickly I didn't really say the story much um about 30 years ago one of my relatives called me up and he told me he's going through a financial diffic difficult he's marrying off one of his children and he knows that I'm big ve because I married the daughter of a big ve which is true I did marry her but I wasn't a g then I was very not a g not everybody that marries a g becomes a g in day one so I didn't have much money and he said you didn't say like that but he said listen I need you to pay for my wedding so I had a lot of cars to this person he helped me out years before and um I I wanted to speak to my wife but it didn't work out that day and I took everything I had in my bank account everything the last dollar and I gave it to him sent him the money whatever and um that was the first time that I somebody uh told me about my my first real estate deal that was that week m a few days after that I saw that everything from there so I want to say maybe the is like this doesn't mean that the is because every in the world is when you're when you when it's hard for you there's a different level of there's giving and there's giving when you don't have and you have nothing left that's boyai have a wonderful day