Daf Yomi Nedarim Daf 20 by R’ Eli Stefansky

go good morning boys [Music] before we start I have to give a warning today's sugio might not be a hundred percent appropriate According to some people for children in bunkering so I am letting you know this picture of boysai says it all here we have Joseph biliac and Lauren spiegelman who went all the way up North to visit Avi mandelbam all the way on the right Joseph is in the left Lauren spiegelman in the middle drove over two hours each direction to get there unbelievable app is Lauren you know Abby before you ever met him before yeah okay my name is khaim Solomon if you could uh I'm 30 years old and I live in Far Rockaway my close friend even Sharp have been pushing me to start learning your share for about a year and my wife finally convinced me when we started subas haven't missed the sheer yet just made my first see him my first see him I'm excited every day to learn it's been really amazing thank you lady really appreciate it but we're in the middle of a share yeah sit down have a I'm excited every day to learn it's been really enjoyable not only am I inspired to keep learning and finish more acceptance with you but I've always taken this excitement and started waking up before 5 A.M have a full first say that before shout outs to learn oh there is also my father-in-law saw my experience and since transfer Towers shears well which is a nice connection that we now have favor all that you do and I look forward to meeting you in person so it attaches me and my father-in-law making a seal together and of course a good morning video wow on the right made his first see him that's how I understand that the video I couldn't open attaches a picture of us today by the provider's Expo so you have the saddle Gans all the way in the right and you'll see Clyde the famous ylc line two from the left Nissan algara's friend yossi to be part of the uh panel so in this picture you see yiddy Schwartz on the left yossi Klein second to the left shimmy Grouse in the middle yes we see him on Zoom a lot no that's it and the sun against those are the panels include you'll see Clyde this I love because we have wmdy's for women the women division of mdy which hasn't opened yet we also have Junior mdy which hasn't opened yet and here's the new one jwmdy this is a piece of art by zissy Bell nine years old from borrow Park she's a junior woman from mdy two groups that haven't opened yet Isaac Shabbat good evening raveli found a picture of Isle Kanto hope that helps for MD wise I don't know how they know it's I guess this looks like a ram somehow I'll come too foreign Isaac I'm just trying to see if anybody knew slimy I'm alive again what are you doing here get over here slay me I've been waiting to give this to you since uh slimy Lightner a voice side so let me what again I didn't give you one in honor of slimy Lightner please accept this token of our appreciated recognition of your tireless efforts commitment and dedication one of the three people that put together the unbelievable sealum in London you're tireless Everest commitment and dedication is much appreciated you're a value member mdy team together will continue at least the fans you brought penny with you unbelievable unbelievable what you did sorry that we didn't have this ready no it's hard to get good help these days yes it was only the success of the mdy UK yeah the human the only kind of the guests although that came all the 30 guests that showed up wanted to come it was I joined he Avi had tickets to come but they had a there's a family emergency this is a partner's emergency yeah that made it so special thank you very much yes thank you so much is it true that over 100 people signed up since then over 100 people unbelievable thank you wow thank you thank you foreign here's a very long email so I'm not going to read the whole thing Jerry Isaac I want to thank you for the opportunity to learn that with you tomorrow which is today November 14th is one year that I started learning the death kindness with you and it's 370 372 Duff and six misectas later I never thought I could do this haven't missed a day for a whole year very nice every so often I'm thinking about the daf he says like this this is a stock I don't know every so often during the day as I'm working I think about the daf unbelievable but I don't really think too much about your jokes besides you might have learned many things during the past year I've never would have learned otherwise over the last month my wife and I decided to start shine makers we both encourage each other and it just started backtracking and I'm currently learning Russia Shawna through your recordings it's going a little slow and he hopes to start it up from broadcast I'm just curious I met so many people who started going back from breakfast question is if they made it through Shabbos and everything is huge then I I recommend start from Irvin if you finish everything then go back to Brothers uh I haven't been tired to stroll in five years we want to come to check it out Jerry Isaac John Silver I really think it's the Battle of my heart wonderful stream every day all you have to continue obviously change my life entirely by the way so you know one of those people learns it on all that real quickly Steven Rosenthal 200 a month netbot Incorporated 100 I'm just going through the names that the guys that gave over a hundred Jake and 100 you'll see client Maisha goikman 100 Ronnie gorvitz a hundred Stephen Schwartz a hundred so we share 100 I haven't Weinstein 100 Jack grassy 200 the guy that started it all Joseph Goldberg 100 and Jeff Rosner 200 yes we have another problem here out loud if anybody wants to answer oh man oh man what foreign for the month maybe we'll always be able to support Torah and may the Torah protect us from any harm this third partners of the coil for the day I love it for the day Shelly gone back in memory of Elko bastra of moisha Levy Elaine going back foreign I'm going to see we have a special uh day of Paris a day from Jaco Vlog from the lock family rubensteins who I received a picture from somebody from Chicago he's alive and well he says remember my dear depart loved ones included my recent young to be scars Justin Ivory thank you Rebellion for the massive effort you invest daily to bring us life the lock family for me who's having surgery on Tuesday refuels this is very special because for mdy bells bells in London so it's two brother-in-laws that are related here we go the we started from a brand new mission hopefully we can finish the peric I got it guys foreign sure what kind of nether he made what kind of value he made we're going to take it sir I'm gonna say that it's a good nether now we're going to be discussing something slightly different almost the same thing but not really over here it's like a 90-10 the guy says I want something to be like a carbon what does a carbon mean in anybody's mind what does a carbon mean it means a carbon that you bring on them is bear no he may be he meant a king a guy says what is hurry that's me Corbin what does atmi mean at me that's me in Hebrew means myself no maybe he meant the bone that's me that's him that's me one of my so it's a very very far-fetched thing it's a 90 10 we'll call it is a lotion of Israel I'm taking this object I'm making it awesome I'm making it to the base I make those I'm making it something that belongs to the Kaya he says no you know there's a word in the dictionary those who speak real proper Los Angeles the word also means a net a fishing net that's what I meant kids are meant that my theorem should be a joke it should be a bunch of holes it should be nothing it should be a net should be a battle nothing Bob Marley what if he says I was giving uh King Charles it's hard to say King Charles giving him a carbon a gift did you really mean that you meant the carbon yeah but that's what I meant I'm telling you I meant Harry that's me carbon myself as a carbon no maybe I meant my bone when we're going to die did a little bit Etc but I have a bone my closet I'm making the dorm on it guy saysly I'm making a a nether I don't even know if he had a bone because he's saying he has a ball kind of mysteries and honestly I'm making a nether against my wife oh you know I didn't mean you I meant my ex my wife it's not miss stabber really why am I learning China was on a date in the end it's like he's dating this girl three four day finally in the fourth day he goes you know I have to tell you you remind me you look mom is like my first wife she's like now you you remember to tell what you used to be married no I was never married ah foreign what now they get it how cool I need a strong man so Elementary I wasn't talking about you I was talking about my first wife talking about my first wife it's a line you see it's a line from the mishnah Vishnu China on all these you don't go to the rough you don't have to answer up it's a good you know what 10 you're right it's very far-fetched he said Harem who in the world uses harem [Music] I don't know I just threw it in there it doesn't say it in there but you can stick in any word and you just say it okay you know okay maybe this year we'll know what we're talking about no he meant a fishing net okay fishing net akula I'm saying when we say it on everyone don't think about fishing nets we have to the real him oh so what does initial mean so I'm just going to tell you the gemara the gemara says initial means if you're an amaret if you're an amaret you go to the rough if you're not a marriage you don't have to go to the Rob you're Potter it's not it's not a net but if you know it's going to punish you know what real quickly what's on channel is that if a person breaks his nether let's say he has another for 30 days and 10 out of the 30 days he didn't do what he was supposed to do he said he's not gonna uh eat bread for 30 days he's on a diet and he broke his diet every Shabbos four shot muscle so he has to make it up four days he has to pay back that's Irish um let's just say this out because this is It's kadai to remember this side does anybody know seriously if you know the difference between a petta and a harata please raise your hand anybody no seriously anybody know that I'm not going to ask you what it is just just raise your hand how many people we have three people that know four five six people know it was about seven eight good that's seven eight we have eight people there that know I don't know how many people are sitting here but a lot so I have to tell you that it's very possible that if you don't know the difference between the Apostle to do for your friends so um you didn't raise your hand right and you were one of my three we might have to reconvene after [Music] um but anyways I'm gonna tell you now so you'll know for seriously you have to know this it's important even though you take Layman but you have to at least know that there is to be a one of the three dayanim on that is very easy harata means I regret what I did if yesterday I was really upset I had I had a problem with my anger I couldn't control my anger so I made another my wife I'm so upset at you you're not going to benefit from me for 30 days today I look back and I say wow I have karato if if I was like today I wouldn't do it yesterday I was I was I was upset today I'm not upset today I'm happy that's passion it's very easy to do anybody can do it Peta is a little bit more complicated means I'm looking for an excuse like I already said yes had I known that I'm gonna be stuck with this forever that's not a good product really but a different Peta whatever we have to find the Rob has to find had you known a certain piece of information what have you done that Nether and you say no okay it's not another so huh it's a little bit of a problem because I don't know how that works because that's in the future so yeah as you know I know how do you know but okay I don't know how that works a lot okay I know that's what happened when I was well you're right but at the time when he made the nether he wasn't ridiculous I'm saying it's a little bit of a it's a future something in the it's a neutland it happened later what ah sometimes explains it's not okay right fine but in the neulads in a noid it's a problem something that was created later it has to be something like now rubikiva anybody could go to Yeshiva because the Sheep exists okay fine I'll go upon him so what are we talking about over here real quickly because we're going to go over it again khazara but over here the mission is telling us that in other words I'm going to give you I I'm gonna make you go through the harder one which is I'm I'm eliminating I want to you come to the rough to do him I'm not going to give you harata I'm gonna have to work really hard to find a way out had you known this and this you wouldn't have done it and sometimes you can't come up with it you're stuck with another you could do even I'll give you haroto um you shouldn't just go lightly within the dark says you say that these aren't yes he meant The Fishnet yes he meant the carbon given to the king and he meant the bone that he has in the closet so you don't have to go to the road and then you tell me that they shouldn't if they do go there are we're going to punish them and we're gonna what do you mean you need a pet if you don't need a pet dog you need a karate we just said you don't need go home you meant the net a net is not a nether now all of a sudden we're gonna punish you when we mock around you and you can't do herotic at all you do pass up what is it um but what's the condition so the mission is saying you don't have to go to the road because military rise so it's not a nether you explain yourself away yes it's a very far-fetched explanation it's a terrible explanation it's a net of fishing net who talks like that but we'll we'll tell you it's not another but if you're not maritz even though it's not a net there he must come to ask a question not Shiba he feels like going to the rough he's an amarus he must show up to the rough you can stick that in take your pencil write down the word hive um we give him a punishment what's the punishment again that he has to make up all the days that he lost he doesn't have the two options he only has one option of pesach just brought to mind that you know the the famous say ferrations used to learn it you're going to burn in hell like this and there's going to be with the camera like that and and then they're gonna take you guys what is scary from one side to the other holes out it was I I learned when I was like 12 13 is nightmares so they asked me he says everything in the safe or true he said yes for amaratsum have a different it's a whole different uh ball game you said I wish I would have known it at that 13. says again they gave us this far I mean she even learned themselves Charmers whatever you want it's like okay no because Marathon because the missile says that Carlos rush they don't know they don't know what they don't know how to how to act they talk they just they're very light with their words I swear like that I'll do like that so you gotta you gotta put them in their place tomorrow okay I understand what humra means show the chart for a second if we have two options we could say here's the easy option you regret what you did yes you're out of here no the Lord hello but what does it mean to give a punishment if a person made a zeros he said he's not gonna drink wine he's not gonna have anything to do with wine product with great products it is he must do all the days that he said he's going to be a nausea he says he's going to be another for 60 days 60 days if he took off three days in between and he drank wine on Shabbos whatever he couldn't control himself she has to go 63 days at three days what if a person becomes Tommy middle Tommy reset the whole thing start all over although I was saying something similar it's not a reset it's you have to add the days you have to make sure you have all those days huh make updates TV reviews that's great if you have very small zeros this is what if you took a break of 35 days you have a 60 daily zeros 35 days you drink wine you don't make up you don't there's no makeup of 35 days the maximum makeup is 30 days since said that we don't deal within the world champion so now it's not the shot in his cocking that we don't deal with him and Scotty means it's also for business to deal with him if the best thing goes ahead and deals with him they put the best I'm saying that we even give him the other option foreign here we go do not be used to saying in the dark side but let's say she was a person as we saw him at the Shabbos the the Heimer is the person makes it never gets erased so Mayla says the gemara you you start with the dorem you have a loose mouth it's going to end up with Schwartz foreign ER but she wasn't from for many years and but she was a very very hush of a lady today one of her friends asked her so when you make all this Holland stuff you make all this uh you know the dough the the cakes and so how do you do how do you how do you my fresh khala what's that she didn't know and Robin where's the queen of the Brock I said that's it we can't have women and they're making home caterings anymore it's like she just didn't know she was on my artist in that idea she didn't know what time she didn't realize it applies to cake okay also kitzer and all those people thousands of people and all the all the events that she made no I'm from Scala which could be the Eraser yeah as well I myself personally had a story where I ate by someone and we noticed on chat this morning the wife took uh the chunk whatever it was put it into the oven liquid on Chavez this is the Horizon now it could be it wasn't a problem for us to eat it as much as it was proud for it to do it but she didn't know she pushed it didn't know that's no question you eat something that doesn't have terms is the is the rise of miso which means even another Cayenne is not permitted permitted to eat because he might give him true which is awesome and don't speak too much to a woman speaking too much you get closer and they'll come to Avera so there's a issue to have Hannah looking at a woman even says that's already listening that's the issue but over here we're not even talking about that we're talking about not steering but looking quickly but so again there's there's also two parts there's looking at and looking at something that's always revealed like the face the hands which is not awesome but the mother is saying that if a person does it too often surfing about foreign the heel of a woman is usually covered so if somebody looks at a place that's usually covered even the heel which doesn't cause says that we'll see the whole sugya is about meet the connected me though if a person acts in a certain way in an inappropriate way then that Meda whatever he did well because your brother will pay it in his children his children won't be appropriate children but I'm trying to move on so that was he was either on on a Indian of Arava so I'll have bottom of yourself now one thing that might bother people I said over here because I I heard this question years ago when I was by a real labor in Chicago and he's giving a sheer for not from people and one of the women there asked why is a kid a momzer like just because the parents did something wrong why does it make the kid something wrong so to me I think the answer is obvious I didn't really ask around this is my shot I don't know in this case if some if somebody tells you if you do drugs and alcohol you'll have a problem with the pregnancy the child might be deformed or whatever so I could say well why is it the child's fault if you do x y z you cause something to happen to the child so if it is a rookies thing you do x y z you're going to cause the pregnancy that to be improper yes it's not the kid's fault you're right but you did something wrong so that's all I understand it could be it's a terrible shot I don't know Omar abusive though says a person whose wife is a neither he has another problem we're talking about that we're talking about his own wife that usually he's allowed to look at a Makai [Music] megula but over here because she's a needle he might come to sin and may Allah it's also for him is a cave of dictionary the the word okay of Hill is this a euphemism it's just a muscle it's a lush and Ikea it really means and the shot is when people sit in a certain way with their with their with their legs folded like an Indian or whatever so the heel is Right opposite the walking matter of us so it's called the hill but what it really means a person shouldn't look at the monkey Maryville foreign that causes a person not to sin a person has that creates a a person doesn't say it's a good thing to be a patient hey my name is is brazen is you do actually so you could you could tell right away that his forefathers didn't stand by harcina because it says it's not only for you it's for future Generations unbelievable that a person who achieved a certain Meda he wasn't a patient but he became a patient because he stood by her Sinai so it's embedded in his DNA and it goes into his into his cells and it goes on to Future Generations in other words that the greatest gift of person could give his own family and children is to to break a certain media to work on a certain media um so just as a Dharma to this says we don't pass in like this exactly how much we don't pass because that's what my colleagues we're showing them around the base and this is what my husband teacher always used to say and I had a very lean and constant teacher he said call my children that's on the base anything a person wants to do he could do contribution he says I heard from Allah says um during relations they flipped the table so one of them shot them the main shot in the refrigerant that I see over here is unnatural another shot is that she's facing away from him so again so the the way they're trying to explain that they were their their thighs so therefore the thighs of the children become defective and why do kids why are kids born mute so to me to connect with me though if they use their mouth an improv proper way so the the kids have problem with their mouth why can't they hear or speak deaf mute because they speak during relations why are they blind they should be stuck in place and welcome they look at their Vermin they asked Charlotte now you know IMA is like Mrs her name was Charlotte which she was rebelie yeser's wife she asked her foreign why are your children so beautiful hand tell you the secret it means relations doesn't talk to me not in the beginning of the night and at the end of the night hello and when he has relations he's very he acts with complete snails he only reveals of his body basically basically he's clothed he has a feeling as if he's forced by a demon project Force so a number of things here these things that rebeliezer did she attributes it to having unbelievable beautiful children however the way we know what he did is for us is also to be called disaster according to the rad means very quickly uh the gemara says the opposite so it's not about the man it's about two people together every person has to benefit so being fast is is not appropriate just what just he was such a kuddish and I want to go back to the famous story line verbally as his wife knew that if rebellies which you know one of the most holiest feelers unfortunately we look for you know the Hassan to come in and we deposit from tacnon and the British wow there's no talking today oh you know it's it's I don't know some guy you don't have to say tafnon but talking was so powerful that if we believe his brothers would die on the spot so that's the famous on base she made sure he never said because her brother and one day she came late and she says and sure enough he was lifter so this is rebeliezer liaison killed somebody there was a rabbit that said once and I think it's appropriate for over here he said this he said listen I darshan about and and all these things a person should act like this and like that but I also talk about Hilo so if you go to a restaurant and your friends like a hazard and you eat steaks and pizza and this and that all of a sudden when it comes to other things in your duty on the husband of your wife that's not right if a person is rebellious or from top to bottom and it's taken is like this so then we have this again it's not it's not gonna get us the stapler says mom is on this thing he says that a person is like before you said he says that's bad Midas and and what it's Usher he says it's you use the lotion of Usher and he says not only is it not a Myla it's a urida a person acts like this he's a person at the highest level and also I have to also I forgot to say a very important thing everything here in the sugya is with the wife's consent there's nothing in the sugya that's just he decided on his own rebellious obviously had consent matam was shot and this is the shot in the whole studio it's brought in five different areas of the city what who is she talking to her friend a girlfriend probably I'm saying we'll see we'll see funny Lashana soon interesting to showing us no Allah we've seen funny I get it but in those days you can see more private things the woman goes to Rob and that's the most nobody in this generation would ask such a thing I hear yeah but little and the guy that hit under the bed I want to know we don't know I'm not sure I'm not sure about it it's all these things okay we only have six minutes so this is a very very powerful line here and this this is the idea and a lot of the things in this that if a person has thoughts about another woman during relations now it's obviously also to think about another woman stop during the day but what happens is during relations and this we saw over and over throughout Chas Yiddish kite is about the makshava if a person has about shopping he's doing an act it's unbelievable his act is associated with that other woman so it's as if he had a relationship with Asus not modest but on on a on a kimat level s if so he just turned his wife into says so much so we're gonna see in a second but even it's the other he's thinking about his other wife he has two wives he thought about the wrong one by mistake he didn't even know also very problematic and that's the issue here in the whole Soviet I'll go upon him but what do we see here so one of the the shot that I I relate to is because she used the lotion Miss sapper in me she used the lotion of relations she she said Miss sapper talking she wouldn't use that lotion it was Usher to talk during during relations so you see a lot of talk immediately also when it's anything to prepare for attachments to help her whatever it is the easer then it's okay but stop schmoozing about uh nothing the weather that's awesome um says all these four things that we said that are awesome is permitted to do whatever he wants ask your local Rabbi a lottery say it's only referring to Darko and the ram points out on the spot but even a person has to be careful uh now I just want to point that one thing once we're talking about this I think it's kadai for every single person this is my own opinion because people when you take a break pregnancy whatever you forget Allah because you forget things and and there's a lot of different cousin teachers some are very very much some are very very Michael there's no one Surah and one thing so go smooth it over certain things that you thought are other might be mother certain things the motor might be awesome could I have to brush up on this it's a type of just like you take a piece of meat sometimes the meat you don't need to do much eat it as is a little salt sometimes it takes longer and there's a muscle to relation something takes longer to get into it it takes many hours on on on the stove everybody each the kids are each person their own whatever is necessary so to a fish like a fish you could cook it in many different ways and some people even cook it with milk whatever it is this is the idea of commercial relations but wait a minute he said he heard this from malachios know why children are born with defects and not born with defense he only heard it from others you know what happens with the baby why baby is born lame Etc why are they called him they look like him Allah okay so tomorrow I was shocked when I read this oh when it comes to Rabbit um I prepared the table and he flipped it over like we said the other shot them before or whatever the shot is so he's she's coming to complain to her of she's saying look it really happened I want to know if my husband acted appropriately or not um the tire says it's 100 motor the round says whatever I forgot what it is any different than a fish you can cook it any different way not a problem well this is the problem of thinking about another woman even if both of these women are his wives it's still a problem it says an apostle yeah so he has a Heather he's motor to both of them just his mind wasn't another one the wrong one it's a problem it's kilo the kids are are amazing raises lotion of I selected I chose became a murdered by poison B those who rebelled against me and sinned against me um there are nine types of children that come from nine acts that are not appropriate and the Russia tables are Binet or everyone you pronounce it that's one because we have to say it's one because tells us ten so these two go together Emma is a act that's done out of fear what's fear mental he put a gun through it or banana is more of a physical thing so it's mental and physical both the kids are going to come out messed up Bene if he hates her now we see over and over the idea that there has to be love involved not only that the more love the better the child comes out if the one of them one of the two are in uh Harem excommunication benatmura so this is very interesting this is the least of the least in other words he had two wives Rocco and Leia and he was with Rocco thinking that she's Leia so it's what do you want from the guy he's motivated to both of them the Leia was masking to be with him he just started Rahul it's like the least half a pika and the kids are terrible the name ariva if a person has a fight with his wife he doesn't want to divorce or just in a fight we just had in the parachute with light either one of them is drunk so you don't have the full it's interesting because some say that if you don't have it's not with love it's Nam out of taiva not love then it's then then it's like uh it's awesome so where you don't have the the consent of one of them you don't have the full Das of the other one so you're missing that love you're missing that piece but a grouches this is very interesting and very important if a person intends to divorce his wife in his mind he's divorcing her that's it this is a question when he's gonna go to the best so it's awesome for him to be with her foreign if the woman is a demanding woman she demands it any what's the problem for demanding um it's a beautiful thing to demand oh look real quickly here because I did this I think it's very important to go back to the studio over there sorry I did it so we might as well say I'm sorry to break it but we have to do it because it's important so I skipped it if I'm already has a very good explanation for his nether sorry going back to the darn for a second it's a 50 50. you don't need a hatara for for amarettes listen to this man it's very important amarettes who has a good shot you don't need Atara if on top I put it in sorry it's small if that Moritz has a very Schwab shot it's a net he says according to a mayor you give the only Diamond two punishments two things you know punishment and a humra and coin foreign he says he's not going to eat bread and it's a good nether then he has to wait those extra days according to everybody we were talking about a nether that doesn't it's not how he said Harem but but I meant to say it's a net we're not talking about that a real nether a full-fledged Nether and he breaks his Nether and eats bread for three days he should make up those three days but places has a beautiful thing in a lot of reasons and he says like the ram brings the tices he says that if a person makes a nether that he can't keep he says I'm not going to eat uh meat for the rest of my life I'm not gonna eat wine and meat or example is I'm not gonna eat all the Paris so we don't do anything we let him break it and he sticks in a word I just like the Lawson he says because he's going to have a problem with your mind how's he going to uh Hashem if you can't eat then you can't drink okay see but we tell him he can't do harata he could only do a Peta so look at those three things in the oven but anyways look at this pausing for a second it doesn't deposit like this in green we do them in purple and she she um she demanded from yaakov avino that he should be with her she had you saw her and you saw her ad invite him so you see that you saw her from demand is actually better than anything else what are you tell me a woman shouldn't demand s you didn't have these people in Spanish that because the hamar went off the path and went to Leia's thing that's why he had his suffering you see that because of that they had this always who's a loving didn't demand she didn't say it straight out she said come to my come to my tent you understand from that whatever you need to understand that's the way to do it that's actually very appropriate have a wonderful day for today and have a wonderful day for yesterday [Music]