Americans vs. Israelis: Purim & Yom Tov

Like the bocher came to the Americans, he said, "How many days yontif you want? One or two?" So he they said, "What's yontif?" Yontif you see meat and wine. We'll take two two days. They went to the Israelis and said, "How many days yontif you want?" They said, "What do you do? We can't afford meat. What? One day. One day." They went back to the Americans, "How many days Purim do you want?" They said, "What's Purim?" Purim people come to your door, they knock on your door, they take your stuff. So one day. One day is enough. One day. They went back to Eretz Yisrael, "What are you doing Purim? [clears throat] You collect collect money?" "Two days. Two days. We'll take it two days." When you loved yontif and he knows the pose that Shavuos is only one day. He said, "You know, let's make it a double day." Cuz they see Shavuos is angim shnei yamim. Apilei tzanas. You could say that's why I call them shoitem. Who wants a two-day yontif? That's chas v'shalom. We all wanted two-day yontif. Now three-day yontif is a different story.