Mental Health based on Chabad Chasidus and Tanya - Rabbi Chaim Dalfin, 7-22-24, #4 Cincinnati

so um if someone is suffering from any of those problems that you mentioned their anxiety loneliness uh ego whatever all those things that you mentioned um the exercises that you give from where did you get those exercises I got them from 30 40 years studying psychology and hasidism and is it also from your own personal interactions with people ab ab oh absolutely absolutely yeah you know but I'm not I'm not going to tell you that I got it from professors so and so no no I understand you know I got it from my teachers right and my my peers and my friends and and and and and like you say you know from things that I've been experiencing and dealing with for the last 40 years so it's more like the the the accumulation of spiritual wisdom and applied to your daily life yes that's that's well said okay yeah this sounds like a great book I'd like to get it yeah yeah yeah but it it it's not what I call a couch potato reading book it's not like you know eat a self you know this is Food For Thought you have to think about it and you have to let it seep in right you know yeah so there are lessons and there are exercises and that's important do you need a you have it on yeah do you need a copy of Tanya to to make use of it see do you do you have to have a copy of Tanya to refer to no no i' I've written it in English okay you know you know if someone wants to kind of that's what I'm saying no the answer is no because she as a student you know who who learned Tanya or I as a student in Yesa you're not going to find these words there you're just not going to okay most of it may maybe ego you will but you're not going to find schizophrenia you're not going to find hypocrisy you know you know you're not going to find loneliness friendliness love fear guilt honesty in between the lines you will and that's what I did you know and by the way this is this is just you know some else can come along and write a similar book and have a different set of uh topics and ideas it it's very you know but this is what I thought is very important today for many people not just for one one area you know people who are just suffering from having you know difficulty with anxiety depression you see when you learn in Yeshiva in a girl school Tanya you know they from chapters 26 to 34 they talk about the depression depression depression you first of all we're not talking about clinical depression we're talking about a psychological depression for clinical depression if you need medicine a psychiatrist will suggest it and you should be taking it you know if if you need it okay Tanya is not a substitute for pills if need be if need be at the same time when you study it you could slowly Wing yourself off some of that okay then that's uh that has to be done with a professional there's no want to make it very clear and you know I'm sure a car deals with these things daily you know it's not no any Rabbi that tells you that you know the you know get off the pills don't listen to your psychiatrist and then your social worker and Psych ologist I don't know you know they're taking a big responsibility at the same time there are ideas here that could help like you said before spiritually for sure you know and when you become and this I want to go back to the uh the opening thought the idea of light when you become you feel better about yourself the rebba Reb has many letters about mental health I know this because I wrote another book called The Reb's advice it's a 400 it's a 300 page book it covers thousands and thousands of his letters I took out the excerpts excerpted those parts that are practical in that book I covered all isues from business to St to health to marriage to spiritual it right so in that book I have a you know a section that deals with mental health issues from based on the Reba's letters and the rebba suggests to a person who had depression clinical depression couldn't get thems out the reab suggest to have other people help them get out yeah and try to volunteer in in to volunteer now you might say like you know okay that's that's that's simp it might be simple but to do it for someone who's who's has depression it's it's a very difficult thing okay so we need we need to help people feel better about themselves one of the ways is we have someone who calls my wife and you know he's talking always about mashiach the Jewish Messiah the mssiah not a kabad person actually oriented in the Lithuanian philosophy and teachings but really that's one thing she talks a lot about and Lush her gossip and she uh she attacks my wife you know because of her mental situation she's my wife doesn't blink an eye she's I wish she would be a I couldn't do it I I couldn't I can't do it as much as I write as much as I talk I'm better you know but she's natural and she just listens listens and takes the abuse and says okay go ahead you know that makes that person feel better that makes them feel better so the the the idea of of being tolerant and being a listening air you know that's a very helpful thing and the more you do that the greater the Mitzvah I know someone who in Florida who started became friendly with him he's not not you know in kabad we say not yet observant comes from the Jersey you know conserve the docks reform home or something like whatever very invol you know he likes Kad and he he's very involved in the programs and um I connected him with someone who is very bright knows a lot of Torah but he has you know some serious depression out in Florida so I had this person I paired him up with this other person younger man and the best of friends now he sleps out to him and gets him out to go to what we call a fabr and a gathering cuz he wouldn't go on his own and he loves it once he's out he loves it yeah and and but if not for this person taking the time and I don't you know I I told him about this a year or two ago now he's writing to me he says me Rabbi says Rabbi I went with so and so here I went to so and so here he enjoys doing it he sees I said more than anything you're doing by bringing some more happiness to this person is the greatest thing you're putting on filling in the morning excellent important but what you're doing to help a a a person who's who's hurting who doesn't want to be that way doesn't want to be that way who wants to be hurt no one but just can't get out and you go and pick him up and he lives four three four blocks from the Sho small blocks wow we just can't get himself out but when my friend comes he goes into the car or they walk whatever and he comes yeah so we need to we need to you know so take them by the hand just got to take them by the hand and it's a lot of work and that's I assume carp it's part of your organization you know to to get more volunteers to do to help o other people you know and in this way you pick them up you go out to a park you go out you know doesn't have to be every day can't be every day it's too much once a week once every two weeks there's so much we can do there's so much we can do and and and we need to do it you're a builder you take someone out you show them how you build houses You're Building anyway or you know what I'm saying that's true they would take their mind off take my mind off yeah yeah of troubles no but that that that that divert the thought right so before we spoke about it by speaking it out now we're talking about through some action some Behavior right behavior is they older people my my daughter who's the the younger daughter who's graduating now and she's finished the social work she's a d a dementia specialist she loves senior citizens and she was a program director in one of these homes in Brooklyn and Williamsburg and I've seen her I've seen her in action I'm BN away you know I I didn't teach her this she selftaught and she she did had three years of experience with you know elderly people in in a nursing home and a that facility and now she's able to do certain games that she plays with the older people and brings more happiness to her one of the other things that I do is oral history in fact I'm doing oral history now with Rabbi Collinson senior C RAB Collinson here in right around the corner a person has a whole life when you get to your 60s especially your 70s you surely 80s unfortunately many people they want to tell the story but they tell this when it's really late where you're already not so well when you start forgetting give me a second please was called or oral family history right and I'm I'm in the middle of that's what I'm doing this week part of what I'm doing is uh doing these I'm at the Seminary the reason I'm here R didn't tell you and I didn't tell you the uh archive the American Jewish archives at H invited me here to research so once I'm here so I knew R cinon is here and he has a lot of information for all the years that he's been here and and other places so I'm getting it I can't say all out of him but a lot out of him right and um next week I'll be down in Buffalo doing another Rabbi Rabbi Greenberg you might know him herel Greenberg out of Buffalo we'll be doing a few days of world history there why am I telling you this older people have what to say and if you have the right interviewer they will talk and you'll feel so good so good someone listens to that and I recorded it's for the family by the way it's not for the public you know it's for the family I'm commissioned by the family but the point is that with older people doing these type of things is great my father father who loves to talk God bless him and he could talk for hours he's very energetic at 87 he becomes 87 God willing in a few weeks and uh I wrote his biography you know the surviving Holocaust uh ranan Holocaust Jew my father and he loves talking about and he remembers oh wow he remembers details of childhood members he remembers details of Romania details of of Israel in the 1950s the 60s in Brooklyn how he worked two jobs in the uh in the Brooklyn Navy yard or those places with uh mice and mice and other things around his head at night because no one else was around and he had to make put the cones on the machines to make the sweaters that was his first job and then he became a taxi driver and he remembers this and that fascinating we have someone to speak to my mother passed on you know 16 years ago of course he's lonely it's hard so we call them we try to go over but you know so so so the more you could do for others in this vein to take them out to talk with them you bring a lot of Happiness a lot of Happiness to them oh oh