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Meaningful Minute at Kesher Nafshi
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[Applause]
welcome to keshara nafshi live we just
had an unbelievable shabbos here in
stamford connecticut
uh this is the sixth
annual
kashanovshi event i believe shabbaton
i'm joined here by orlando i
think it's your first show this year as
well right
first shabbos but it was probably one of
the most amazing showbusters in my
entire life it is and i guess for people
who don't know about kesha nash and what
they do
how could you sum it up for people
it's it's a community i feel like the
end of shabbos it's a family
of jews from every walk of the life see
them lit fox in every type of
every type of fish
and we're brothers because we're united
by a very unique and special challenge
which is that we have sons or daughters
or multiple sons and daughters who
have challenges in their yiddish guide
and their emotional life and we just
come together the shabbos everyone
checks in their baggage at the door yeah
and we just spend shabbos like brothers
and sisters it's it's it's you can't
describe this experience unless you're
here exactly and and if you weren't here
you missed out i mean this was
unbelievable the the lineup you know
incredible lander jacobson and jason
like there's so many superstars here i
saw the the flyer for this event i said
this is something i need to be by this
is unbelievable and for those who
weren't here
how was shabbos like what was that
feeling
i'm not sure if there was like more
inspiration
and more connection than food or maybe
more food there's a lot of food so much
there's a lot of food there's more food
i'll tell you something crazy i'm about
to fry and i hear this guys like it's
like 12 39 he's still eating and he says
we could just eat a whole shot so we
could more more serious like it was it
was like off the charts in terms of
you know the presenters were amazing
everyone was it's like everyone's
authentic like yeah i gotta share with
you just one sure please so that's what
we're here for i left my hat on like one
of those counters over there twice i
left my hat there both times i came back
it got replaced by a strangle no some
guy put his hat under my hat ah usually
you know they put your head up
that's the kind of guy everyone cares
more about the other guy than they care
about them so i i walked in here with a
black cat but i'm leaving with a strong
mom like that's that's that's i'm so
excited the stream was just worth more
money
so i noticed you got the long launch
yeah i've got the computer going this
drive will maybe maybe if i sell the
strymo i can afford a mortgage in the
five towns probably um if i if i don't
then whatever we'll see i think was
gonna do a mortgage in the five thousand
eleven to five
takeaway what's the takeaway um from the
shabbos for you first of all that like
every single person that's at the
shabaton
kind of seems like a regular person
they're successful you could tell people
are professionally successful socially
successful and sometimes you see
families and you're like oh i wish i
wish that that was my family we all have
our struggles we all have our challenges
like they say here in the district we
love our peco yep and the most amazing
thing is every person here
is doing so much for their children to
make that peckle a little bit lighter
that is i feel like i should just get a
bracha from every person here and i'll
just have i can live the rest of my life
just on being here for shabbos
absolutely incredible set up perfectly
right showing us thank you so much
for joining us you did a great job thank
you thank you i really appreciate it all
right and we're gonna welcome up our
next guest
all righty thank you
ah what is close now i know i've made it
what is this i'm sitting next to nachi
gordon okay so i've made it okay well
why don't you why don't you tell
everybody who you are where you're from
my name is yitzhak kisager
i live in lakewood new jersey
i'm sorry to work for art scrolls yes
and shout out to the lottowitzes of
course
our own yeah and the rest of the crew at
art school i'm just going to write for
the ted as well
uh which is a unique opportunity but
we're here also i think i think you're
in a book
am i mistaken i wrote three people
you're in a book you're in a
special book that if kids are reading
that is
true well i wasn't going to say it's my
claim to fame but but if you can figure
it out
you just just think kids books maybe an
uncle book
if you can you can you can cash in a
free shots at artsgirl.com
uh
okay check it out um so how was shabbos
i i'm
so when they asked me if i would appear
on this
panel where you were here for a couple
of minutes
so of course i said yes because anything
keshian actually asks you say yes
my only hesitation was that i'd get too
emotional i'll be honest to you
shabbos was incredible first of all you
did a phenomenal job today thank you
moderating
with four giants on stage
an amazing conversation there wasn't a
dry eye in the room
like rabbi landau said so
poignantly
everyone who's here the shabbos even
those who are here in a professional
capacity check their baggage at the door
i just met a parent before who said they
don't want to leave
because it's like a safe cocoon in here
there's no judgmentalism
there's just support
guidance
unconditional love
i think it's it's it you said it
perfectly um this is what my first job
is here and i've been to quite a few
conventions even in this
in this very hotel right but the feeling
was just so different from from thursday
night
to friday to shabbos
everyone checked their ego at the door
you walked through that that door
there was a certain vulnerability that
existed yes you're saying that people we
need help people don't mind being
vulnerable
and it's it's really an incredible thing
if i could say i think that every parent
no matter who they are no matter who
their children are could benefit
from kesha nafshi obviously this weekend
is designed
to help those who need help
but
here we are surrounded by
some of the most incredible
parents educators
speakers
people of been through
difficult times those speaking from the
trenches
it's just an unbelievable thing it is it
is this is like
this is like the nba all-star weekend
for torah yeah no yeah like
you walk down i would say this is the
all-star weekend
right here
incredible right here and
the the session friday night rabbi
russell
were you there that was that was i don't
know how to put it into words
there's no way to really describe to the
viewers what we're able to experience
here on shabbos
um
i think that if you've never heard of
kesha nashi before
i think it's safe to say that this
organization would not be able to exist
10 years ago because the world may have
not been just there yet but the fact
that they're here now
they're the ones who are changing the
world they're changing stigmas they're
breaking down walls breaking down
barriers
if you have a kid who's struggling
that doesn't mean you need to hide it
and you need to keep locked in your
house and you can't get help and you
just have to just take the pain and keep
it bottled up inside there are hundreds
of people here today
that are telling their stories regular
people regular people they david in your
shule they probably sit next to you
and they're telling their stories
how amazing is that
it's it's it's incredible
the children whose parents are here this
weekend
are the luckiest kids in the world
simply but
i don't know what to say
really unbelievable i sat next to giants
giants literally they're giants of
character
they're they're growing themselves
they're allowing their kids to grow
and
and i think they're being mush beyond
the people around them also because when
they go back home they're spreading that
message of
understanding of tolerance
it's just
tremendous growth
like rabbi solomon said today so
beautifully it's also walking out of
here understanding
that it's older abundantly orchestrating
this for our benefit in some way shape
or form
no matter who we are every person
situation
is designed
for their ultimate benefit
and
we heard so many practical messages
messages of patients
messages of celebrating the small
achievements the small successes
i heard i heard yeah these messages are
applicable across the board no matter
who a person is and even in our personal
lives we have to learn to in
ourselves our own
small
personal successes and celebrate those
and allow us to grow as if they hashem
and
you know
that that's really why this weekend
will enable people to walk away
and become better people
better parents better friends
just overall let me ask you nahi
you're asking me
what was flipping the table what is this
what was your takeaway
just one thought that you thought was
exceptional from what you heard
i'm i'm actually really
bad at telling over
ideas as they were said i was coming
from shul to my wife and i my brothers
are
and i always try to tell my wife exactly
what i said and i just i have a problem
like giving it over but i'll tell you
the just the overall
ideas that i that i was hearing from
brother kalish or ben shushan
russell
is that for for parents right
especially with parents who have
children are suffering
you know what
look at all that you've done right
that's a
just because your kid is suffering
doesn't mean you messed up and and you
did something wrong and
you're here there's always room for
improvement to be a better parent and to
to uh you know right the ship and make
the situation as best as possible
but look what you've done right as well
celebrate celebrate you know uh you know
the award yourself accolades
i i think you're right because you have
parents
here
who have very difficult situations and
yet they get up every morning
they put one foot in front of the other
and they're an inspiration to other
people
and
that's no
simple achievement it's phenomenal it's
monumental it's
it's world changing they they
recalibrated
the way they approached enough even if
we weren't brought up that way and
things you said you made a good point
maybe kesha navi could not have existed
15 20 years ago
and the ubuntu loyola enabled people
like adalia miller
to found this organization at a time
when the world was ready to accept it
that's absolutely absolutely right again
i i said this before
i said this during the session today
here with my wife we barkham have
you know one one child and she's younger
than two years old and in mitchell
you'll see tremendous amen amen
being here
um standing in a room with hundreds of
people
these are the parents
that we could only hope to be like
the amount that they're sacrificing for
their children
to take a weekend today a full weekend
thursday and people are leaving tomorrow
afternoon workshops sessions
for what for what
you can easily say you know what
my child rebelled and he's in this
situation in that situation and
they're pulling me off the stage it's
like college game day anyways i think
that
you know it's it's just
the
the strength in this hotel right now the
parents in this hotel
are the most
inspirational people out there because
they walk through the store and they're
they're devoted to being to be better
and to helping their kids cope with
whatever they're going through
that's what it is and then it's a
tremendous resource
for parents parents who maybe didn't
have
places to turn to for guidance and today
they have a place they have kashanovshi
it's here to help people it's here to
guide people
parents across the spectrum should make
sure
to
get a hold of the videos from this
weekend yeah
young parents older parents experienced
parents parents with married children
they should make sure to get ahold of
the videos watch them learn the lessons
from rip shimmer russell from rabbi y
from all the others
and i don't want to take up too much
more time here thank you so much i want
to thank you enough for everything you
do for claudia's role you're a one-man
physique machine oh wow
whatever you do keep doing what you're
doing thank you keep inspiring us keep
spreading meaningful messages and thank
you for having me foreign thank you so
much thank you so much and we're so
excited
to welcome our next guest
you know what i think i will
how are you
how about you introduce yourself to the
people who are watching
i'm so excited to be here
with all these tired people
people we had such a wonderful shabbos
that enough should bring meshiach
what what do you think is the the
takeaway for shop from shabbos uh if you
had to sum it up into one lesson
is that the oil i'm here
everybody is feeling everybody else's
he gives somebody a tutor
he doesn't give it to him unless
everybody who feels pain
deserves to feel the pain
so therefore the more friends somebody
has
the better chance he has that his pain
should go away
and that's
why
it says
if you have a dog you should tell
somebody else tell somebody who's your
friend
so it's marshmallow from russia that
even if he can't help you
even if he doesn't have an etsy for you
just the fact that you have a friend
that he also feels bad for you
will make the dog you should go away
that's what the goan says
everybody around it around
if he doesn't deserve to feel bad it's
not going to happen to this person
it's beautiful that's beautiful and i
think the the people here
are have all become closer and together
more united from a shabbos like this so
many people are going through the same
tsar and going through a lot of pain
joined together
i think that that does a tremendous
thing
absolutely if you wanna
if you want me to give a small message
i have a small message to give the oil
on which i didn't get a chance sure to
say by shaloshidas
not that anybody stopped me it's just
that i felt that the oil was already
itching to
you know there's so many drushes so many
speeches
this just sent so many speeches that a
person can hear
but i wanted to say
that the heiliger prime kanyevsky
we have such as here that we live in a
generation
that we have such a good like
when he was
a little younger he used to have he was
in his 50s already he used to have a
seder with his
tata his hailey guitar the stifler gun
so he used to learn with him
after minha for an hour every day
one day lebron told his father that
today
he's not staying for learning because he
has to go to shabba brookhus
yusum is having his luchas
and he wants to go to the chevy belkas
of the usa make it houston happy
so they don't mind he wanted to say
goodbye to his father but his father was
still doubling tremendously and he
noticed that this type of guru
he was the good old adult that he was
doubling longer than usually
so he after when he finished he went
over to him and he said tata what
happened how come you're dabbling such a
long tremendously today
is there any special service in cloudy
cyril
he said listen my son
he told me he's not going to learn with
me today so i doubt that he shouldn't
get
weakened he shouldn't become ugeshwart
in his learning
and abhain was 52 years old at the time
so he asked his father
so when did you dabble to me in the
whole shamanism
there is no place where you dabble for
children
right when when do you dabble where did
you happen to me so he said by my dim
we say
we deut for the future generations
that's when it happens for you
so i would like to say to everybody here
and i do it myself
that when you're dubbing human estrogen
and you get to doing lidoid by muy dim
somebody had told me that the reason we
do it by murder is because when we thank
hashem
for our children that's when we should
be misparallel for them
so then we should take a moment and
start thinking and being this follow
there's nothing more important than
parents can do for their children
than to feel it and to doubt i'm
carrierski who sees hundreds of people
every day for
50 60 years already
so many different issues that come up he
always comes up with an idea when an
eighth
what they should do
but when
he doesn't find in the car what this
person should do for this particular
issue
he says madaf miss palazzi
and i think that's the biggest aids of
everybody talk to the reborn
he wants to hear your thrillers and he's
going to answer you i mean i mean thank
you so much for joining we really
appreciate it very welcome thank you you
didn't ask me any shy list they told me
they're going to ask me questions
we go easy we go easy on the people who
join
thank you so much
thank you thank you
amen i mean thank you so much
all right moving right along as you can
tell this is a super smooth process
where we got people in and out
thank you so much for joining us tonight
good luck good luck if you just
introduce yourself so everyone knows who
you are
my name is uh ann friedman i live in
jerusalem i work with people for 30
years wow and beaujolais i had this here
i was invited to take a part here
and
it's amazing it's amazing
uh refrigerator what do you think is the
takeaway from a shabbos like this
uh the one lesson that people walk out
with or that you are gonna walk out with
what is that lesson
for me it's
sharing being together with people who
go through a
pain in their life
and for me it's very touching to be with
them and to share with them and to
listen to them to try to help and to try
to comfort
and i see it as a big big skier and it
helps me personally
to touch people to be with people
plain simple to be with them and their
pain to be with them
and what they go through and
that's all i can say
in in the
30 years of experience what do you think
is the most important thing to do
for a parent who's struggling with a
child with yiddishkeit
if somebody has a friend let's say who
has children that are struggling is
there anything they can do
or say or they shouldn't do or shouldn't
say
to their friend
many things they can do and more things
they shouldn't do right usually
we can never understand really and
profoundly what the person goes through
when he has pain in his life when he has
a problem with his children what we have
to do is
show empathy really try to connect to
the pain the person has it's like a
person carries a burden and if we
connect with him we help him carry it
makes it easier for him
what the person shouldn't do is belittle
make it small say
it's nothing and
don't take it to your heart
we can never we should never take away
the pain and belittle the pain
and there are many things that people
say
not the right word and it's always true
when a person goes through something in
his life
people out of
awkward they feel awkward they don't
know what to say but often people say
the wrong things the wrong person
and we have to learn how to
listen to people and not judge the
people
and try to ask them sometimes that i
think is to say my heart goes out for
you what would help you what would help
you right
often people ask me they tell me their
parents say is there anything that could
help you
sometimes it's only the listening
sometimes it's advice and a certain
thing how to accept it
so usually the right thing is to ask the
person how can i help you i'm ready to
help with anything
how in your
in your opinion over the last 30 years
how has
claudia stroll's you know excess i guess
acceptance
of children who are struggling has
changed over the last 30 years
especially with you know enter
kashanovsky into the picture
uh it's hard for me to answer i know it
would be maybe popular to say that
people changed
uh it's painful some people do not know
how to accept it and now i spoke to
people
so much pain because neighbors don't
know how to accept and they say the
wrong things
there always were people who didn't know
how to react
and all of us have to learn and ours is
a place to learn to teach people how to
accept the pain i i thought there's so
much pain going on
but people who lost one child two child
somebody more
there's somebody who lost the most
and there is amazing wilner gooen
there are so many children jewish people
who are off the terrace
and it's so painful for the reborn
shalom but their bonus loyalty loves us
the way we are is the usher and samayak
mikhail so said the one who has the most
children who went off the data is that a
bonus alloy alone so it's painful and we
feel the pain and we can understand that
we can help one another support one
another
the ibiza health should give care for
people it's painful it's not easy
there's anything there's nothing a
person can say to make it it's nothing
it's a pain an ongoing thing
but there's just a shame that bunch of
annoys and leo of koya
people should be making themselves and
everybody with what he listens
everybody has to give him his share and
then the last question i have is if
there is a a
set of parents at home right now
who have a child a child is struggling
and they're keeping it you know bottled
up they they aren't you know in touch
with kashanashi they're sort of worried
to
go down that path and to enter that
parsha
what would you say directly to them
if they would ask me i would try to
first to show them i understand it's
understandable some people really don't
know how to cope it's difficult it's
overwhelming i would try to motivate
them to share and to try to come out
because the more a person hides the
shame grows bigger the pain grows bigger
when a person opens up and a person
dares to share and dares to come out
with them
i mean when it counts it doesn't count
people are people and some people will
always look and we have to try to see
what's good for us and it's always
easier if you do not have to hide living
with the secret is a terrible burden and
it's painful it just makes the pain
bigger
thank you so much thank you thank you so
much for joining us
okay as we move on you can get the idea
that this shabbos was really an
incredible shabbos and
we're now being joined
by a tremendous fellow
tremendous
from power flight am i correct and we
all know that power flight is a big big
help of what we do at keshanawshi if you
just you know let everyone know your
name where you're from hi
i'm from
called lakewood very little chateau
called lakewood
not many people know about it
i saw you here the entire shabbos looks
like you were soaking it all in having a
great time
going to the sessions
we weren't here i didn't go to every
session every session i had this i had
this bad luck this weekend where every
session i walked into was over like
seven minutes later i don't know i guess
i missed like when they put up oh this
is the session and i just
you know same thing by davening but yeah
oh that's what it's called
yeah luckily that people here have
luckily they had a kebab union so it'd
be really hard to miss you know and
every ass we could feel about what would
you say is that the takeaway from this
job is for you like a lesson walking out
of this store tomorrow what's the
feeling
so it's interesting that this is
actually my second time being at kesha
nakshi the first the first event that i
was at was actually in meshbush which is
my introduction to kashanavshi and all
honesty i never heard about it before
and i happened with mazel i saw it in
the army magazine quick shout out shout
out shout out to the frankfurters
i i saw it in there and we called and i
didn't know anything about it but kesha
nav she changed our life changed our
perspective changed how we deal with
with our children
and it was tremendous so we went to
keshanovshi and our family grew and i
come you know billie and her from a very
very large family
and uh large like extended family i
don't i barely know my first cousins let
alone my second and third and then we
went to kashanovshi and we got another
192 people in our family wow and then we
came here now and i'm just trying to
think you know that when we make our
next simcha
we need another thousand invitations but
it just comes with it but
it's really unbelievable to see when
you're in a crowd with with so many
people and you know ima and sarah we're
all in this everybody here can look
around i told people i said
99 percent of the people here are in the
same parsha and the reason it's not a
hundred percent is because there's a
caterer and there's some other people
who just happen to be here but every
single person who is here is here
because they want to be here actually
not every because they want to be here
they didn't realize that they want to be
here some people were dragged by their
spouses kicking and screaming i myself
dragged probably 15 people there
challenging them saying hey if you come
here and you tell me that you didn't get
at the very least your money's worth
i'll reimburse you for all of it and i
have no doubt i'm not giving anybody
back any money tomorrow because it
changes everybody's life when you don't
realize you sometimes you sit and you're
drowning you don't realize that there's
life service all around you there's
other people in the same boat
everybody here is in the same boat you
have an opportunity not just to learn
from the people who get up and give
speeches and everybody has their own
peckle they really do but to know
there's other people when you sit and
network i think that's the most physical
that we get it's not just from the
speakers who are unbelievable and
they're very talented and they give a
great message but it's not just for the
people that we speak to they give us
and so we're able to hazak other people
as well and you really do it that's we
spend most of our time doing just
finding somebody and saying hey what's
your powershell what are you dealing
with and realizing that maybe the maybe
the package that we have isn't so bad
right and i know everybody ha everybody
has their own journey we all do and we
don't know where we're going to end up
when you know they have people in it
with you yeah people are in there with a
struggle people are going to take your
hand and say you know what let we're in
this together we're just going to go do
this together absolutely it really
changes everything that's that's that's
huge and i just want to ask you for
people who are watching at home
let's say there's you know parents who
they're not they didn't come and they're
dealing with this this same struggle
and um they're just nervous they're
scared it's it's a parsha and you know
like we said people who walked in
through this door they made that the
decision that they're gonna you know
become vulnerable and
i think everyone walking out here is
extremely happy they did it but
nonetheless to take that step it's
difficult what do you tell those those
parents about taking that step i would
tell them that everybody who's everybody
who comes here has had that same
struggle but just like anything you have
to take that step forward and sometimes
your friend has to drag you and they
gotta whoever it is find a friend you
want to do something great you want to
change somebody's life do it i think the
biggest challenge that gaddafi is going
to have with keshianovshi is that this
crowd is not getting smaller no right so
they went from 50 people to 100 to 200
to 500 a thousand people
the next one is going to be 2 000 people
yeah because every person here is going
to come back and every person is going
to get somebody else to come here at
least it's going to be at least 2 000
people and i don't know what they're
going to do you know we have to find
places that can do it because everybody
needs this the key is that people get
after coming to such a weekend is
immeasurable it's just tremendous and
that cars have type we have for somebody
like adalia and everybody else who works
there they didn't have to do it they
could have said hey you know what i have
my struggle right i'm going to deal with
it then i'll speak to a couple people
when people say you know what i have a
struggle i'm dealing with it and what
can i do to help everybody with their
struggle and that's what it is it's when
we help somebody else we help ourselves
that's really what happened that's what
everybody ends up doing perhaps the
first 10 15 20 minutes when somebody
gets there they say hey you know what
what can it do for me and then when you
start helping others and you speak to
others it gives you so much more
strength to be able to battle through
our own battles
you said you said it perfectly um and
again if those parents are watching just
reach out to dolly miller head to you
know kesha now she's website learn a
little bit about the organization there
is help out there thank you so much
thank you for joining us great night
thank you
okay as we wait for our next guest to
join us who i believe is going to be
rabbi torski
and five four
three
two
thank you so much for joining us
how are you pleasure is mine the
pleasure is yours okay
it's very nice
so how was how was shabbos for you how
did you enjoy shabbos what do you think
the takeaway walking out of a keshir
nashi shabbos
it was for you tomorrow what are the
feelings like number one it's not my
first so i've done this before
and
there's
two features of it are just standouts
um the future number one
is the
um
the sheer volume
of pain that's going on
together with the pain that's like
that's happening and you feel it in the
air
you also feel
a togetherness that people relate to
each other
and people connect
i was wondering why
they never made an announcement that
says okay please anybody who's
who's uh
who's who's here
make sure that you sit down
by the by the
shabbos next to somebody that you don't
know
and become familiar with them
i realized that they never had to make
an announcement like that because people
on their own do it yes there are people
who know each other from before they
know each other from this kind of
connection that kind
you know the dark league from community
is uh you know everybody knows everybody
yes some way but um the reality is that
this goes on and everybody's everybody's
talking to everybody else
and you know people who i know are
newcomers
they walk in to say but it's going to be
difficult for me to open up and share
with somebody else
and i say okay you'll find out otherwise
and they do they come over to me later
it's like yeah you know i i i just felt
it i i felt safe enough
to be able to
open up and share my pain with somebody
else and it's a theme that is spoken
about many of the presentations
about how we have to be
in the place where
it's more than empathy
it's being in somebody else's shoes and
whether or not the exact details of
a problem
are identical to somebody else it's not
relevant
because if somebody's suffering and
you're suffering too
you can you can suffer together
and
when you're the the together part of it
lifts it
there's a there's a very simple muscle
where
there's this big rock that weighs 500
pounds
no way in the world you're going to lift
it
so crane is going to pick this thing up
and it'll slowly slowly lower it down
onto your shoulder it ain't going to
work very well
but if 10 people
line up over there and everybody's
standing around and it lowers the
boulder
onto 10 people's shoulders
you can hold it up any of us can can
manage with 50 pounds and when we're
doing that what happens is the boulder
still weighs 500 pounds
but we're all participating to hold it
up that's kind of that kind of actors is
precious
it's i mean it's sad that people have to
go through troubles to be able to
encounter that it'd be lovely if they
could they could
experience this kind of arctis and other
in other
circumstances and other situations but
it's happening here and it's in the air
that really it's you said it so
perfectly that's really beautiful i i i
do want to ask you while we have you
here for for those who have
i think many people do if you let's say
they have a friend who has a child who's
struggling who's you know struggling
with yiddish kite
what are the things that they
could or should say to them and what are
the things that they should not say
or could not say to them first of all
i'm a very big
advocate
of support systems yeah
and support systems are
they they take people
out of the out of the jail of loneliness
so just because we can walk around
everywhere but loneliness is a horrible
feeling to have if
picture yourself
let's just get out of our subject matter
for a moment sure you get invited to a
wedding
and you show up at the hasanah hall
and you realize
that the casino was last night
and you're walking in
to a simca hall and there's like 500
couples running around there right and
they're presumably nice people
but you don't know anybody there
the two families making the making that
are no connection to you whatsoever not
location not they're not not your your
social group nobody's related
you're there with there's a thousand
people in the building
but you feel
disconnected because you don't know
anybody
that's that's that's the mental state of
loneliness
right you're not alone
the word alone and lonely are two very
very different words
um so that what what we're what we're
experiencing here is
breaking out of that loneliness
and we need to help if somebody
approaches us
i want to get them out of that
loneliness immediately
because that's just going to help drag
them down
it makes them become defensive makes
them sad when you have those kind of of
processes going on for you you're not
able to function well
uh and and that means even to function
in other areas of life
you know
it's suffering
and if you if there's nobody that you
can tell nobody you can talk to
it just
the
pressure
is really is really difficult for people
right so that's how i guess it's so
crucial for
people who need
kesha navishi to reach out and to to
join this family because the the support
is here and it may have not been around
in the past
but would you say that times have really
changed
times have changed where there's a lot
more openness to this a lot more
acceptance to this you know i've been
involved with mask
from its inception actually from before
its inception
and
there was there was talk about you know
pulling off a
weekend retreat of
some sort there's a variety of reasons
why why it didn't
materialize
um but
when the idea came up a very long time
ago
there would not have been the community
support for that right why is that
well there was a lot of resistance
to doing much of this
where it's where it's public
um and
we've
we've now opened up and we're capable of
talk i mean
just from the parents that i'm that i'm
meeting with while i'm here
um and listening to some of their
some of their
situations
they're extremely difficult and even
today there are certain things that
will not and cannot be spoken about
in a very open forum they need to be
spoken about in a much more
limited way
and
it's
it's suffering for them it's it's very
very difficult
you know
we're light years
better than the situation was 20 years
ago
um
we still have a long way to go so what
do you think needs to happen
for us to be in a place where we look at
the you know
at claudia swirl and we say you know
what
the situation as it pertains to
kids at risk or struggling kids or the
other sky
we really have a handle on that we
really have a grasp of the situation
what needs to happen
first of all
i wish i could have the optimism that
we're going to be at a place where we've
got a handle on the situation and the
reason that that's going to be difficult
is that the situation is changing while
over while we're it's very fluid is that
because it's because of society or
society
the world is a different place i mean
when somebody comes and talks about how
uh
one of their children is looking to get
married to a same gender
uh
outside world is saying that's a
wonderful thing to do right
and and
and in the from community you know we're
we're obviously very very um oriented
very differently from that and it's and
it's a challenge to us and these are
things that
are not able to be spoken about
uh
very easily
and they're not easy to work with
because
the same kids that are saying okay i
came out of the closet they don't only
want you to not reject them they want
you to accept them with the lifestyle
that they're that they're bringing in
we can't do that i mean i'm not i'm not
being i'm not pass getting shyless here
and i want the pisces to weigh in on it
but
the the way that the
outside world the secular world is
dealing is dealing with this it's
normalizing it
and we are still not ready to normalize
it nor should we be and that's a dilemma
right we live in a world though that
you know in society at large is
going towards a place where there are no
more rules and there are no more
boundaries
and as from union we have rules and we
have boundaries we have a torah that
we're supposed to live by and abide by
so if a family is not completely closed
off to the outside world and they have
internet access and their kids
you know
are just regular kids growing up today
how do you how do you keep that
that like that home pure how do you keep
the home safe where the influences today
aren't you know we see what's out there
we see even you know like the the okay
celebrities not the crazy crazy crazy
ones
the lifestyle is completely different
and and what's happening is not okay by
our our terms of what life should be
what's yeah very difficult
we've always had the nassaian of trying
to keep these outside influences
from getting into our community
it's been a struggle it's been a
struggle from the time
when not just the parishioners that were
the whole idea was they have to be
protected
from the influences that
time had as their
environment
this was this was a challenge that they
dealt with from
from when they uh when as soon as they
came down the isis said
you're living in gaijin you're not
living here
because having them to live here would
have been
uh you know
maybe can tell him
you're gonna mingle with the guy you
going to learn from their behavior
so that's something that we had to
they had to be protected from
from the very beginning
there's a reality today gullis does not
give us the luxury of only living in a
contained
insular environment
and we are
our lifestyles do involve us
having
having much to do
with the outside world so we're going to
be affected by the outside world and we
have to constantly cope with that
nobody says it's easy and it's not it's
not going to get easier
um there's there's so much inroad going
on and look
it's the
outside world's values today
are more like saddam than anything we've
ever seen
in our entire history because they're
attacking
our core our core values
you know when they begin attacking her
stun began
as a society
that had extremely tight control
over the population
and they did what they want to do and
the
you know the powers that be
said okay we want the rules to
enable us to or to permit us
to you know fulfill whatever we want
their their rules that we look at today
we look at how bizarre they are
these were believed to be such you know
such great controls
they thought that they're going to
really have it
and and it reached a level of corruption
that
said i'm sorry
this society cannot exist anymore
and they were destroyed in a way that it
was lights out
it was just
turned over instantly they could not
continue
existed that way
we're heading there
already there where we have a
you know the
governmental powers both both in america
as well as other countries are basically
trashing the original values in which on
which all these societies were performed
and they're not just changing it to
telling us that it's better this way
it's a
it's a huge huge challenge and
you know we would
you know to to to to
to take the choice of
moving out and living and
living in our own communities it's not
it's not realistic
right
i wish it was but it isn't
so what's the answer
hold on tight
i'll tell you what i think the answer is
sure
i don't think that the answer has much
to do with
creating restrictions
and uh banning things and anything i i
don't think those things work
um you know i i
i i have to believe if there's uh if we
have 400 couples here the shoppers we've
got over 350
actually
if we have
let's say 800 people here right probably
have 700
smartphones
go banned smartphones
it's just not realistic it's not going
to happen
um
it's not about how how we ban them
my my my take on things is if we make
our lifestyle
and mitzvos
enjoyable and fulfilling enough i don't
mean enjoyable in terms of knee slapping
laughter
it's not about giggling it's not about
you know experiencing pleasure it's
experiencing secret
and fulfillment and if we can do a
better job of that
our kids are going to stay as part of
this
why do i want to go off and do that when
i don't need to
i can i can i can i can accomplish
worlds and feel fulfilled by doing it by
doing exactly what i
what what what what my heritage tells me
to do
so it's a
it's it's a place where
i mean i i look at our our systems of
there's a lot of good in it
but it's so
rigid in terms of discipline
as if discipline is the answer
and discipline is not the answer
discipline is a is a is plan c
right plan a and plan b are about how do
you how do you make somebody
have a passion and a fresher
for toyota and mitsus and that's what we
have to learn how to do there are some
homes that do that there are some
yoshida's that do that
that needs to become standard practice
where people are people approach tyler
mitzvah says
this is my life this is a life i want to
be part of when they don't feel like
they want to be part of it they're going
to look in if for somebody who cannot
find sipbook
the
the nature is
to look for second best you look for
pleasure they don't look for another
means of sipping because they have no
clue where to look
so they look for various means of escape
and various means of pleasure
all the addictions fit in there various
lifestyles fit in there
and
and and there and they're given this
this um artificial value as if it means
something and it doesn't because at the
end of the day nobody's terribly happy
about it look you could have had a
wonderful meal
today right the food was great
now what do you have from the food now
nothing but you did sit with somebody at
the table
and you had a meaningful interaction
with them
and you either got to know somebody
that's becoming a
a a a colleague a friend whatever
those relationships last
the good the the good food
does not last
right and if
if we're honest about it
we have to realize that
pleasure is not the substitute
for fulfillment i know it does not
replace sibu
and we need to help our children
achieve simple they have to have means
of
a a a pathway where they find it and
then they can be passionate about it
but somebody who doesn't have that is
never going to find it
thank you so much erythroski for joining
us it's wonderful to be here thank you
we will take a quick break and we will
be right back with
another guest or actually not we're just
going to go right into it and have our
guests join us
right now we are joined
by a good friend of mine
mr bannon yeah how you doing doing
pretty good doing pretty good so tell us
tell us why you're here the shabbos tell
us uh
what your relationship with keshianovsch
um i would say i like to call it alumni
you know okay this program has given me
a lot
um it helped my parents
form their parenting and i've been
speaking at their events for the last
few years but i really just like giving
back a little bit because i feel like
their style really helped me and helped
me through my journey and
now i want to just give back a little
bit right and and so you've been
speaking at question of show the last
few years and you spoke beautifully
yesterday last night can you tell the
people at home a little bit of of what
you what you talk what your message is
and what you're trying to give over
yeah i would say the main point of my
message is there's
very rarely i don't want to say never
because you never say never but there's
very rarely an atheist in the box hole
like
these kids despite what they say so many
times you can ask a kid what's wrong and
they can't direct what's really wrong
and the same could apply to what they
look like versus how they really feel
spiritually so when the kid is telling
you hey i don't believe i don't want to
wear a kippah i don't want to keep
shabbos that doesn't necessarily mean
that
spirituality and yiddish guide is out of
their lives it just means that they're
hurting and there's something blocking
them from being the people that they
want to be and i think it's very
important to know that and not try and
push that just try and be there for them
be a proper parent and love them
unconditionally and in your experience
you feel that
what behavior helps the kid and
obviously it's case by case everyone's
different and everyone you know everyone
works differently
but in your experience someone who you
know a child who is struggling
with theater skype finding his footing
someone is in pain
what works what works well and like what
are the like the do's and the don'ts and
i think it's even more important to
really clarify what don't you say
um well i would think they're like i
said that i was actually asked that
yesterday by the q a um there's a long
list of things that you probably
shouldn't say to your kid but i would
think that a good message to give to
parents is something where they feel
like they're saying the right thing um
and really they're not for instance
when when you want your kid to start
being more jewish as you'd say and go to
chakras and you know put on philadelphia
when they finally break out of their
shell and they start coming back and
doing the things they do you know
compliment them on the other things not
oh wow you went to chakras i'm so proud
of you because it puts it in the kids
out head hey they're proud of me not
because of
everything i've done and accomplished
and worked on but they're proud of me
because now i'm back
like them i'm back to you this guy and
all of a sudden boom now we're so proud
and so happy no
be there for them try and meet them at
their level be proud of them for who
they are and
create an environment in a home where
they want to be a part of you this guy
and not forced into it
and i guess
i guess that sort of answers like what
what to do other like
in your experience things that oh no
don't do that don't say that like that's
not that's not the thing to say right
now
you know kid comes home late or the kids
you know making make his parents pull
their hair out
what could a parent do in that situation
i mean i think it's very important to
understand that your kid's not in the
back room with the drawing board on how
to mess up your life you know he's not
going step by step oh wow i'm gonna mess
up dad's day today doing this you know
he's acting out because he's in pain so
if you understand that and you see hey
like
this skirt got a little shorter you know
it went to jeans you know say hey nice
pair of jeans he looks good compliment
them on that you know find a way where
they can really feel good that you love
them for them as opposed to you know
loving them for the yiddish kite that
they're coming back to or not you know
it's so many times you see that the
parents really say can say unfortunately
damaging things like what are you doing
with your life um
you know you're not doing anything get
up you're being a bum like guys guys he
knows that if he's sat in bed for the
last 72 hours that he's not doing
anything i promise you he's the one who
knows that but
telling him hey you're a bum i i don't
think that's the best route how much
damage does that actually do i i want to
ask on a level where
from from the classroom perspective also
not just at home i think parents
obviously have a very uh
they play a big role in their kids life
but hearing um
something that is
awful straight up you're a bum you're
never going to be anything or something
along those lines via the classroom or
at the home
how long could that have an effect on
somebody
years and years you know i actually
recently have been working with someone
and
he constantly is telling me how
his kid isn't doing anything his kid's
not learning he's not working he's not
this he's not that and like literally
i'm talking to the guy and he sounds
like he doesn't like his child and you
think like the pa the child isn't gonna
pick up on that or the child's gonna you
know not notice and you say hey you're
doing a great job but you really feel
like he's a bum
then
he knows deep down he's it's not the
words that you say it's the actions and
how you really feel and he's gonna
portray that and i see the kid literally
whenever he's around his dad and i've
seen him around his dad he's a totally
different person like i said to the kid
i was like hey you did a great job like
he worked with me i brought him in i
wanted to give him a little bit of a job
he worked with me and he did fantastic i
just gave him a few compliments said you
did a really good job the kid was
lighting up he was amazing i'm not
saying i fixed the kid's life but i'm
saying
this kid's father didn't even realize
like he's constantly trying to push him
to do a job to do this to do that
just be his dad just love him and he's
gonna grow up kids grow up teenage years
are hard years but
pushing them and damaging i'm saying it
could last for years the kid's really
not doing well because
it's hard and the final words for
parents who
um
are at home who
haven't gotten to this place yet where
they've accepted i guess the challenge
they're going through and
you know with the mindset we want to we
want to take the steps towards you know
helping ourselves
what what would you say to them to
motivate them to take that step
um
listen everybody
everybody has challenges in parenting
you guys are set with hakasha who gave
you the challenge of this challenging
kid why go through it blindly while i go
through it you haven't experienced this
before you don't know this is not normal
parenting you don't know the right thing
to do it's not just like okay he does
this you do that why not seek the help
of the parents who have been doing it
for a few years who have been getting
the help the professionals the great
amazing speakers you know there are
people like nakhi over here come on guys
like this is the place to be let's make
this a special moment come be with
everybody and learn from everybody
else's experience from their failures
from their wins and see that there is a
positive outcome that coming to this
program really does help and i've seen
so many parents with just huge smiles on
their face with tears of joy because
they're finally getting the answers and
the
tools they need to deal with this
challenging situation thank you so much
thank you so much for joining us
this is your
dad okay we're now being joined
by our previous guest father thank you
so much for joining us
for having me first of all
i know right your son is incredible um
off the bat i really just want to ask
you know
as a parent having patience
while a child is suffering or in pain or
acting out
what's that like you know what are what
are some things you could tell yourself
or that you have told yourself in the
past
to just stay calm stay patient and ride
it through
well i have a saying it's better to be
effective than to be right
so you could be right
and
ineffective and
stand on principle when it doesn't work
so
that that's like the message that plays
in the back of my head do i want to fix
things or do i want to be known
as i'm right right
and what would you say is your takeaway
from a shabbos like this over the last
uh
72 hours
a lot has gone down here a lot of really
impactful sessions
incredible people
parents who are here to improve and
just understand their children better
what's the takeaway for you
well one is we're not alone every parent
when when they're hit by a
huge development in the house
catastrophe is a lot of times they
collapse inside thinking that this is my
fault what did i do what do we do what
did my husband do what did my wife do
and that's really very uh
counterproductive and destructive but
when you see that there's so many other
people from asides lit fish you know
and all different backgrounds and
different
levels of socioeconomic
stature and religious observance
different levels different ways of doing
it and everybody's suffering pretty much
the same way so it's nothing specific to
you or your your community it's just a
phenomenon that's occurring
all over and we're just
you know one of many and therefore we
have a support group
and
the connection with the child is can be
used or bartered with it's something
that's a precious resource to
use to save the children all right yeah
and what do you think uh
kesha nav she brings to the table um
keshinashi as the name applies is the
the tight connection to the child soul
and that's
you know if you think it's bad now god
forbid a child without that connection
to their parents is only going to be
exponentially worse it's not that our
connection is going to make make them
worse or enable them to be to be to do
more
bad things uh when we understand that
the root of this is in pain and any
confusion and in laws
a relationship with parents is settling
and takes away from the confusion at
least they have a few solid things in
their life that they can depend on or
lean on which is the difference between
an overdose and not a suicide and not
or healthy choices and if the child
makes like one or two healthy choices
because of that relationship that could
be life-altering and that's
that's priceless and your advice for
parents who are at home
that haven't taken this step yet to you
know join the khashonoshi family and
and come to the next chapter uh besides
yeah like what what advice
like let's say they're scared to take
that step but what can they do like
practically speaking to push themselves
they should reach out to somebody they
trust
don't don't be don't be ashamed this is
not you're not the only one this is
nothing to be ashamed about and the more
people you speak to the more likely you
are to come across
a spark of hope and then
get connected to the right uh
group or right advice and
don't
you know silence is deadly in this uh
this type of situation okay thank you so
much uh for joining us and sharing that
with us
okay
um as we move on we are
i think i've never spoken to this many
people
in this short period of time
shabbos is long
and
it was beautiful it was really nice
there are hundreds hundreds of people
here
and we are continuously being joined by
incredible professionals right over here
in the seat
and we're now being joined by an
incredible guest oh wow look at that go
ahead introduce yourself let everyone
know who you are what you do especially
since i'm incredible best i'm sure not
he knows who i am boris amari
murray stottemeyer
all the way
from new york
yes um i'm roover menlowitz i am a
therapist out of muncie lcsw
and i have a privilege to be a part of
questionnacy already
it's probably a couple years right now
so
um
glad to be here and be a part of it all
it's beautiful
uh what do you think you're you know
you're walking away from this shabbos if
you sum it up into one lesson or one
feeling that you're gonna get into your
car tomorrow you're gonna start the car
and you're probably you know feeling
tired because nobody here slept
what's that feeling like wow that this
is what i'm feeling so i'm gonna
surprise you with this one because
actually i came in here
thursday night and then i left about an
hour before shabbos
so
when i
came back right after chavez
so i'll tell you what my feeling is it's
like a feeling like you missed out
everyone's on this super high and like
really really connected and like you're
trying to like feel then like where was
my shabbos and compared to this job is
you're trying to get into the mode and
it's so like you know
energized and
you know to try to catch up with that
that's that's you know but i have been
here for shabbos in the past so i i know
what people are experiencing and like
there were certain people i even sat
down to meetings with and i said like um
okay i'll see you now and then let's
meet again mother shabbos we'll see how
the magic works you know absolutely
we'll do it again
so what do you think um parents at home
who
have not yet taken a step to be part of
the keshanashi family they are going
through pain though and it's a struggle
and it may not be easy to you know
take this step
become very vulnerable what can they do
or what would you tell them if they're
sitting right in front of you right so i
mean there actually are a bunch of
parents that are here that have been
clients of mine i encourage them
sometimes i even sponsor them to be here
because i really believe it can be
an effective intervention and
when they get to hear and see and feel
that you're
you express that nausea nash extreme
actually yourself
they kind of wonder like where do you
get that from you know how can you see
things in that
lens and you can turn them to this
direction and
people can get uh
quite a lot from it
rabbi ruvain
druvain
thank you so much for joining us already
i really appreciate it take care thank
you
we're going to take a couple minute
break and we will be right back here at
the kesher nafshi stage
we are back and we are here with a big
guest the founder of keshinovsky the
founder of everything that we have here
this beautiful shop this is not possible
without the work
of godale miller can you tell us a
little bit your inspiration to start
such an incredible organization
so basically in 2015
i got involved
with parents at kids at risk
due to my own
situation
and we were doing
what we called the the pull of helping
our children and building relationships
our children
going on trips
being there for them loving them
unconditionally
and building that relationship
to be able to have a calm and normal
collective home
doing that
i'm not in that situation but many
parents
that deal with drugs and
risky behaviors or
dealing with kids getting arrested and
stuff like that takes a very big toll on
the parents
i couldn't watch parents continuously
giving and giving and giving without
getting a chance for themselves it's
almost like for instance classification
when somebody has a child
with cancer right
those parents get a lot of support from
kai lifeline from others outside
and they get people take the kids out
people help them give bring gifts to the
kids but for us nothing ever happens for
us as parents i said we have to do
something with the parents so we did a
small get together for the men the
ladies had a small women's retreat that
we did for about 50 women had a private
house and a three-day retreat in
morristown which worked out unbelievable
they took care of everything
then we did our first lava malker at the
end of the year
we ended up having 250 parents we ended
up having 250 parents
yes sorry we had 250 parents
um
that actually came to love malcolm had a
fundraiser just to get
very
lucky and fortunate to have pomegranate
i'll put in a small block of pomegranate
that donated all the foods
my daughter suri sarah gibbs
as a party planner she did the whole
thing from the beginning to the end
and
avrami klein at that time donated all
the other expenses whatever incurred
and rawa jacobson
came
and graced us with an hour and a half of
pure physical physical pumped into us
that's where the brainchild of having a
shabbaton for these parents you saw how
much it gave to them just one night
an hour
cocktail hour
and then a couple of hours of physic at
night they walked away pumped excited
inspired to continue doing the
psychiatrist of helping our children
what do you say is the most rewarding
part
for you at least
of
being the head of such an organization
accomplishing so much
seeing you know the tears of joy from
parents as they walk out of here with
just more tools more equipped to deal
with their children
so basically for me
i would say that i might be addicted to
doing this i don't know we did our
fourth event now in 13 months
we did one worldwide we hope to do on
another one let's just rule hopefully
um the phone calls that are coming in
every single day the parents that need
physic that need help we're not set up
for that so i don't want people to think
that we are set up to have an office
like that we're not set up yet
um
but basically it's every single time we
do an event like this
we think yeah people came six months ago
and they're not gonna come back or we're
not going to get new people to come and
every single week we get more and more
parents that want to come to our events
they walk away with physic
you know our biggest inspiration now is
i think we are the the
the unsung heroes of charlie's world
appearance that if you have parents from
lakewood from borough park from
williamsburg from monroe from muncie
from every type of satmar and bells and
bubbles and
gay and sphinx and khabad
and modern orthodox and woodmere
every person in claudius rule fathership
people we made three different four
different you know basically
eight o'clock
minion
it was such an eclectic group so
cohesive people came back excited
inspired
they want to come back again and again
and again lost all the materials quality
material we had guidry sneers whoever
wanted to have separate seating that's
advertising with the family seating for
the ones that needed it and wanted it
and they need it for different reasons
we had special women's programs
it's the only place where actually you
come and sit with therapists for free
as long as it takes therapy or sitting
up till four o'clock in the morning for
parents for free
it's really i would call this a
transformational weekend it's a four-day
weekend not like you come in there
friday afternoon and run out sunday
morning or water showers
four full days
and it was an unbelievable unbelievable
that's what drives me to continue doing
it well claudia soto really needs you to
keep doing it
richard shem we all dobbin for the day
where
kesha now she wouldn't have to exist and
richardson all our children should
be on beyond the path be on the right
path uh
you know but thank you thank you it's
not it's not it's not gonna happen
without you keep doing what you're doing
because this is this is changing the
world as my first shabbos ever being
part of kashanashi and i've never never
in my life
have experienced what i experienced
today over shabbos
just
seeing a whole room of people who want
to grow
who know that you know
there are faults and and their struggles
and they accept that and they talk about
it what you've built is
it's a kiddish
i really have to give a shout out to all
my people that are really helping jinji
he's not talking about me when he says
jinji no
no uh heinekerman schleimer litzman
ashley rosenberg
and we have a whole women's team that
helped us out mrs throw and mrs listman
and darcy benon and now we have rosie
kaufman
and we're continuously adding more and
more people that are helping us uh mindy
markowitz and fragi rosenberg and
many many people that really i don't
want to say i forget names ellie kaufman
every day mrs walter they did all the
bags personally for them
and really we pay attention to everybody
i really have to thank all these people
for driving me to do it to do it to do
it i also have to do a shout out to
israel freed from lakewood that really
helped us cover many many parents in
lakewood to be able to come
um lakewood really i have to give a
thank you to laker for
accepting us warmly and giving us that
opportunity to actually actually be able
to make it for over 60 new families from
lakewood that came
and thank you thank you to hashem that
were able to do this to shabbos in such
a crisis time a critical time thank you
thank you so much
miller and we are now going to be joined
by rabbi daniel kalish
who uh
what can i say he was
incredible over shabbos
and we had
we had an amazing panel today amazing
session today with our kalish and
i would say that our session today was
was supposed to be questions and answers
but it was really a question and answer
like like many of them end up being but
you really you did an incredible job um
what is your takeaway from a shabbos
like this at kashanovshi wow that's
first of all thank you naki you did a
great job over shabbos and it was an
honor for me to be around nachi deshabes
amongst all the different experiences
somebody who's being there for the tabor
and just putting out good content and
making everybody more bringing
inspiration to everybody so thank you
for all the work that's very kind thank
you
um
i want to say about shabbos that parents
are powerful and
i think all of us as parents underrate
our power
there are challenges in islam and saiyan
parents
in some secular ways of viewing things
in a canceled culture are saying toxic
relationship cancel mom cancel that and
we're come from a different world
parents are the answer not the problem
i think we have to hazard that parents
are the answer not the problem i think
coming off such a shabbos of really
special special people all over the
place i sat at the same table with naki
and we got to what a gift what a
surprise what a gift
friday night not sure who we're going to
sit next to and who do i sit next to
rabbi daniel kalish and his family that
was awesome really honored for me my
family but we really we got to witness
together parents leaning in i want to
say a story that i that that i
experienced i don't know much from
politics i'm just not my speed you want
to talk sports i'm in politics
republican democrat i i haven't figured
it out i don't really
care that much to be honest
and
and the governor of connecticut
somebody asked me to meet with him two
governor goes name was daniel malloy
maybe with fellow daniels i don't know
why somebody wanted me to meet with him
and he was not a politician type guy
and i he he happens to be a fascinating
guy he's dyslexic
and daniel malloy cannot read or write
and he was the governor of the richest
state in america
and i asked him off the record and he's
not a political guy and is no longer in
politics and i asked daniel malloy
that here there must have been a lot of
naysayers you can't read and write i'm
sure you had many teachers
and many
people in your life i don't say rabbeim
he's not a yidd and rebellion wouldn't
talk this way but you have many people
i'm sure who are naysayers
and i asked the governor did that
motivate you i'm very competitive i
believe machia you're a competitive guy
absolutely absolutely good monk
us competitive guys if we had naysayers
saying you can't and you won't that
would motivate me to try harder and i
asked him were you motivated by all the
naysayers and is you got you the
governor of the richest state in
connecticut the richest in america did
that motivate you and he said no
i was like surprised like i thought that
was of course he would see i was
motivated he said no i wasn't motivated
by that
so i asked him how do you figure
and he said something very serious he
said my mother always believed in me
none of the naysayers made a difference
because my mother believed in me
and just in the most real ways
a parent is powerful the love of dad the
love of mom is really really powerful to
me the takeaway from shabba is seeing
parents
caring
real care or all shabbos the
conversation are parents who have
overwhelming love of their children but
more than love they're zoned in and
tuned into the nuances of their kids
journey
and seeing the power of caring and
loving parents hearing the story of
caring and loving parents to me it's
something that all of us should walk
away and know
we're powerful as parents we could do
tremendous amounts lean into our kids
journey understand
lean in be a support
be be somebody who's a good guide and
advisor and all of us should see
tremendous knackers from our children
i'm maynardo michaelis thank you so much
enjoy the malava malka thank you nathan
all right thanks and our last guest that
we're going to have on for this evening
and then we're all going to have a good
party we're all going to stop talking
yes okay
rabbi yasi ben shushan
i feel like both of you i feel like both
of you should be sitting here i i would
love i would love to do a thing of a
kalish
just just so that i get him for that
amount of time yeah no one else is going
to want to jump in the camera we're
going to keep you for a very short time
because
because you have a really where yeah
where'd you get your suitcases
because i i drive to all these things
uh-oh
yeah
where's matt
it's the best i think it's the best
right over there
are we live at the gazebo
uh
there's some security we're having a
security issue everybody wants naki's
autograph that's the problem
everybody wants to knock his autograph
uh that was young
his stuff today was amazing
i feel wrong for doing this ari your
brother ahri should be here two cents i
thought you just called me ari i was
like okay
i should be here we already know that's
why you got my suit it's stretchy it is
so
i i have to drive to these things like i
don't like flying cleveland drive yeah
from cleveland so last night and then i
got stopped in the middle of whatever
last night i was like and eight hours or
two nights ago was it like an eight-hour
drive i have to sleep in the car
sometimes so i need a stretchy suit so
that
can we please sponsor a delta miles card
for remember
that's
let's get to it so we go just jump and
enjoy
your take away from this shabbos the
feeling that you're going to get into
your car tomorrow you'll probably be
tearing up and very emotional and you're
right home to cleveland yeah
what's the feeling from honestly
i'm gonna be honest with you here this
time i'm not gonna lie
i'm gonna ask you first of all
a major
you know a major shout out to you
uh to your wife thank you who came
uh
rosie i didn't want to say her name i
don't know if you say her name or not so
rosie was adorable i'm sleeping right
now and i just jinxed it again what are
you doing how did you not learn
to rosie who's now my best friend rosie
and i are best friends um
but also tyranny time who showed up to
that and that's and that's really i'm
mentioning it for a reason
i come to a shoppers like this for
myself but i meant i come here for for
myself this is this is my shabbos away a
little bit because even though i'm here
and i'm talking to everyone and i'm
speaking and i'm doing all the the
normal things that i do on a regular
shabbos but edition office is different
and so many people a lot of times not so
many people so a lot of times people
call me and they're like can you uh cue
come do this job it's like you know um
we're asking you to fly out like you
know six hour flight and be here from
thursday the sunday and we'd rather you
not bring your family we're not paying
but you're gonna love the people that
are there i'm like yeah i think i'm
gonna make it they're like no no it's
gonna be very good food i'm like yeah
i think i'm gonna be okay it's fine you
know
but to takesha now she's a different
situation right you come here and
literally everyone over here is a
walking book
they they all have this unbelievable
story and history and an idea and
it's so beautiful
the biggest part about it though is the
vulnerability the fact that what they're
here for is to share that is to share
that stories to share those ideas is to
share those experiences and those pains
and laughing and crying and
you know me i give a speech i can't uh
i can't not make a joke i can't not make
a thing
and
i i was giving one
i felt bad but i had to make it i
couldn't and a lady came over to me
afterwards and she's like i want to know
how much i appreciate those jokes
because it got heavy and it was so heavy
but but you know we want to laugh also
and it so made the whole thing human to
me the whole concept was so human to me
then because they were like we want to
laugh too
it's not we're not after trying to have
a problem here we want to laugh also
the big takeaway though the big takeaway
was probably anything that came out of
rubber kalish's mouth i'm saying best
buds now by the way
i'm
everything that comes out of his mouth
sure it's not and by the way it's not
what he says which is old tyrone
gorgeous
it's how he says it yeah that that his
slavos that life that he loves giving
over with it i i i rubber kayla's
handshake and smile could like
turn a cat into a lion it's it's so true
it's so true and he gets right up into
you and he's like and you're like ah you
feel alive so michaelis was incredible
but really the parents the people that
were here the people that were here are
my big takeaway always and honestly i
had to miss a kesha navi in the middle
but i've been i've been running on the
fumes at the last one and i know i'm
good for i'm good for another few months
right now from what i gained from this
week really i get to go in i want to go
home i want to hug my kids i want to hug
my tail meet them i want to i'm so super
charged to get back into things
beautiful grateful
bestie thank you so much that's
incredible spending shadows with you oh
wait and everyone who's watching right
now keep watching because we are going
to be picking this up by the malava
malka live
this is nakhi gordon signing out this is
rabbi yasi ben shushan and we will see
you
on the next episode of two cents podcast