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so I'm beginning today in honor of the
Reb 30th upcoming
gim a series called the Reb's
advice based on my book The Reb's
advice this book is a 300 page book and
I've called from theb KES letters and
many other sources
notes and
uh
writings
different things that the Reb advised as
far as life life's
issues so each time we'll take a topic
and we'll read a little bit what he says
I've basically translated it and if it
wasn't clear or sometimes just to add a
a little more clarity added a note to it
and give you the actual source of where
it's found the original so this today
we'll start with chapter six in the book
called dating divorce and
marriage s writes to theb about their
issues in
marriage I've titled
this excerpt problems are
normal and here it is what you heard
from
others that Mar that married life has
its problems and difficulties is to be
expected this information does not prove
there are many marriages that crumble
because of
conflict since there are in fact few
such
marriages rather all those who succeed
do not complain and talk about their
marriage
problems because they work it
out it is expected that there are are
vistit toes in
marriage marriage is good and necessary
our T says so and one can observe that
by looking at
the by looking at the laughter towards
those that are not
married one hears such comments as look
at that old single man or
woman not that these comments are
acceptable they aren't however one
can see the common
attitude towards unmarried
people Hashem has God has saved you from
such
so much adversity you should be
thankful by pursuing diligently
a finding a
spouse you write that you are not
working hard in
quotes to find a v a
soulmate you should and do not allow
yourself to get discouraged
easily when you attempt to meet someone
and then you do not want the
responsibility of marriage you choose to
let it go you gave up this is from The
rebis KES volume 22 letter
8524 what the Reb is saying
is that it's expected to have issues of
marriage doesn't mean they're bad issues
challenges
opportunities and the comment that I
found uh interesting in this
letter is
that the mentions the the fact that
someone doesn't
marry from from a community standpoint
is looked at a
little
different I mean the Reb uses the word
laughter which is a harsh word or
harsher word
his intent is not God forbid to put down
someone who's single okay let's let's
make this
clear as long as a person tries their
best and more than the best to find
their soulmate their
sh you've done you've done what you
can okay but you have to really try and
you have to make it the most meaningful
in an important thing in your
life
so there's nothing Earth shattering in
this
letter but it's
all
inclusive
knowing what to
expect
is
solving the issue the
problem let's take another letter
making conversation again I've given
titles to each of the excerpts that I
translate the problem is that your
relative says his fiance sometimes
talked talks to him while sometimes she
is despondent and does not make
conversation it is because he needs to
be more careful with his personal issues
ofos
modesty and
Holiness let him also check his give
before prayer and say at least one Psalm
after each morning daving including
chabas this is from The KES Volume
14 letter
4,771
so um the issue
that sometimes some you know one of the
people one of the you meet someone and
one speaks talks and one
doesn't it
happens it's not a reason to to throw
away the it's a reason that saying here
to keep up the
momentum keep it going and increase your
own observance and Torah study which
will add to
the the flow of the conversation I
thought that was
interesting finally disclosing medical
history this is a common issue an
important
one Reba writes after you verify your
current medical situation with a doctor
you should consult an ordained
Rabbi who can guide you based on our
code of Jewish law what that's the end
of this excerpt but I'll just finish the
sentence what you are obligated to
divulge and what you're not obligated to
divulge and this is very
important if someone has a medical
condition and the the essentially sends
you to a r to a ordained Rabbi who knows
this field to get guidance in particular
how to deal with it and this should be
uh adhere to in in this
situation let me know what you think and
uh we'll come back for more take care
