Marriage Counselor Says What No One else DARES Say about Unhappy Marriages

one of the biggest mistakes I see couples make is confusing strategies with results couples are going through a hard time they're fighting they may not be on the same page they may have real disagreements they may feel apathetic toward one another like they've drifted apart and sometimes it could be very extreme and they try to work on communication let's work on our communication and they find that it's not working or they try to go on more date nights and they find that it's not working or they even try to go to different types of therapists and they see that it isn't working they'll do workshops and it's not working well why isn't it working and the reason is because they're strategizing toward a result without even knowing what the result is that they're looking for and in order to really heal a relationship you can't get distracted by the strategy you'll figure out the right strategy if you figure out first the result that you're looking for because when you discover the result you're actually looking for your mind is going to open up to new possibilities and perhaps new Pathways and strategies you never even dreamt of so when a couple comes to me and they say hey we need to work on communication that's a strategy and that might be the right strategy it might not be the right strategy so I'm going to ask them question questions like if you had great communication what difference would that make in your life what what would you notice that's different Well we'd be happier we'd be peaceful we'd feel more intimate okay so that's what they're looking for happiness peace intimacy and the more I can explore that the more they can come up with the right strategy that might be communication it might not be but this happen in marriage and the truth is I see this all the time in life in general people assume strategies without even knowing the result that they're looking for and if they focused more on the result and less on the strategy they'd open up more Pathways very often couples will opt for divorce and sometimes that's not necessary but that's a strategy and when a couple says to me we'd like a divorce or if one wants a divorce and one doesn't I'll say well if if you were to get divorc what difference would that make in your life I'd feel more free I don't know freedom is the result that they're looking for not divorce and they might be able to achieve that by staying happily married uh maybe not fine we can have that discussion but it's so important not to get distracted by strategies at the expense of the result that you're looking for but focus more on the result that you're looking for and the strategies will follow that if I can help please reach out that's my story and I'm sticking to it