Maamar Chayei Sarah 5712 #2: Our Journey from Miserable Self-Consciousness to Humble Joy

I got it. I got it. >> Yeah, I think you wrote it, right? >> I did. Maybe I wrote it last year. I don't know. >> Okay. They had it. They sent it to me. >> You did them right. >> You mean you wrote your English name? >> It was yesterday, right? >> Just now. >> Oh, today. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, wow. Okay. >> I went to the for the first time in my life in honor of church. >> Oh, really? When did you go? >> I just went this week. >> Oh, wow. >> I was >> I saw Joseph also. >> That's who I'm named after. >> I know. So the art is called the 22nd of the good. Okay, good morning everybody. Welcome. Thank you for the copies, the beautiful copies if you didn't get one. So we began last year the mimer. This is a mime discourse that said of which was also the shabas before in the year which is 19 52 and we learned the first almost we finished almost the first two chapters. We're holding a few lines before gimmel which in your copies is page 120. Today's class is dedicated by a very dear friend and one of the pillars of our classes for many years Jarisha or as some know him as Jonathan Jarish Leonish and in loving memory of his mother whose yards is today the 22nd day of Carolyn Jarish and uh her full name is basitzk And we want to wish that your mother's an aliyah and be a source of blessing and love and light and inspiration to you and the entire mishba for many long happy healthy abundant years with joy and serenity [clears throat] and thank you. Thank you very much. Today's class [snorts] is also dedicated by Rab Ezra David Phillip with sincere prayers for the complete and speedy recovery of a beloved friend together. Amen. Thank you very very much. So what was the main point that we uh we we uh the main was that after discussing at length the whole zar about and all of the questions in the zar which you could go back if you if you don't remember you could learn it again or listen to the class. So after all that he went in in chapter two to uh go into the concept of to the the experience of which is that a hashem is done should be done with joy and it's not just an extra spice like an extra ingredient that enhances it. But as you see that the way it's dealt with is that it's essential without it's like there's no avoid baking powder. >> Huh? >> He's saying a cake without baking powder. Yeah. And once said that all of the all the madreas all the levels that he was only because it was primarily because his mitzvah. So to explain all this we started to explain the idea that the med says that the purpose of the creation of the world was hashem wanted a home in the lowest reality and the definition of a home is as he said it's a place of where a person is present in your essence in essence it means no coverups that's the real function of a home no blockages no layers If a person has to be in their home in a certain uniform, I don't only mean a physical uniform that too but also any any form of uniform then it's not home then it's another place it's it's an acting it's like another another place where you have to act a certain way other places you go there's a certain function it's a certain part of you that comes out at home it's it's that's the place that's what you also want for children to experience in their home what do you want children to experience in their home they could be themselves in their most authentic authentic way. That's that's what a home is. I don't have to show up in a certain capacity or in a certain way inauthentic in order to be able to be accepted in this place. A home is where you can actually let down all your guards in in a beautiful way. [snorts] So that's the idea of so is a metaphor that as he says the essence the full presence of essence and that's this is where is everything because as explained in the m that grasping things grasping reality through intellect is beautiful but it's always very limited it's limited to the amount to the capacity of the intellect and even the greatest of minds and the greatest of uh geniuses there I is and as he says it's touches the essence and he explained how it isn't Davening which Davening is the Gmorra says that's the of the heart so daving has two parts yet you remember one is the part of his a real davining there's awareness there's contemplation there's meditation there's tuning into truth which is a certain mental capacity and that self is very powerful. It's meditative. It's mindful. It's it's it's presence in in the person's mind. What he calls there's a second element which is the and the delightfulness, the joy. Tanug is the bliss, the gishmak, the experience. It's an experience. It's an experience of tug. It's not that I understand something true. He says the havana could be the kali. It could be the container. It initiates. It brings you into that world. So it's like a kali. But the kali is not the light. The kali is the vessel. A cup is very important. That's a container. You have a bottle. So you could pour water into it. There could be a flow there. But it's a container. It holds. So he says at best is a kali. It's a container for the sim and the tuk. But the real the main thing is the experience of oneness, the experience of love, the experience of joy and bliss. And even if the two are not always even if the two are coming together nonetheless you have to understand that they're comp they're different in their in their theme and in their it's different because a way of grasping things through a certain instrument that has a finite that has finite properties and he says everything in this world anything that's created you have to understand the the in the gap between how it is and its source Like who said explain that at length what Abrau meant based on the of the what why he calls himself earth and ashes there's a very big deal in that certainly the person dvening you can't compare their to the so the is the way it comes down is as he puts it through it goes through a transformation of essence and therefore whatever the person grasps it may be significant and very important and very powerful And that's how a person can be initiated into a higher reality. But nonetheless, he says it's not the bliss and the joy and he says in this gets revealed the divine bliss and that's the experience of the tuk. It's the relationship itself. >> [snorts] >> You'll have it like a mush. You'll have the words a parent and a child. Yeah. So let's say a parent is we spoke a lot about a you know an infant in a mother's arms last time. What that means that sense of calmness and regulation and experience and it's very very deep in many ways. As I said you can't really it's not word. It's not about words. So the more words you talk about this the more look who's talking. the more words we say about this like it's like again more words and more words and more [laughter] it's the opposite of really what we're trying to say it's I'm I'm saying I'm I'm emphasizing this because to just explain the inadequacy of words right really a much more proper experience for this is silence [snorts] I'm just afraid that if I'm going to be quiet nobody's going to hear me >> huh huh A lot said right now. >> Yes. Yes. You heard that. Rabbi Jonathan Saxs Allah Shalom I think his yard set was this week. So he once said, "What's the difference between a party and a sermon and a so he said at a party everybody speaks and nobody listens? At a sermon one person speaks, the rabbi and nobody listens. And at nobody speaks and everybody listens. So that's really that's really another. So in Tug it's always less words. When you have a child for example a parent and there's a very very deep moment of connection that's truly regulated. The child doesn't want to be anywhere else but in the arms of his tati or mommy like says my soul is like a little child suckling. A guml is a child that nurses in the mother's arm. That's what that's how he felt. That was the source of a safety. There was a safety there, a trust, a calmness. And it's going back into that. You have to lean back into it because it's very easy to fall out. You know, life gets very chaotic and we like being in control. So even the highest level of it's a form of control. Not bad control, but understanding basically is a way of controlling the world. Way of controlling. I figured now you're God himself. It just plots us. It works until it doesn't work. Huh? >> It h it's a tool and it's an instrument, right? It's a hammer and a a hammer is not reality. A hammer is a tool to be used when you need to knock a nail into your suk. It's a beautiful tool. [laughter] They say for somebody that you know somebody who's a the hammer everything looks like nails. That's the hammer. So you have to know a hammer is an instrument. It's a kali. It's a very powerful kali and is a gift but it's a gift. It's it's a gift. It's an instrument that's used. If you ask that toddler, that infant in the arms of its mother to explain and analyze and dissect the mother's brain and the mother's perspectives and the mother's attitudes, first of all, the child won't know what you're talking about. And based on their at that moment, they won't be able to detect it. Even later, it's very hard to analyze another person. Even yourself, you don't understand. You understand your mother. Somebody wrote to me, "Of course, my mother knows how to push all my buttons. She installed them. Don't laugh too loud. Right. Not a bad one. She's the expert. But as much as we understand, but one but but but but the tenug of the child, he knows right away if his mother wants to be present or not. That he knows that is not sec. It's not an an analysis of who she is and how she is and how she came to be this way and her personal even later it's hard to know other people and even yourself. So it's very limited. But the tenug the experience her experience of joy and presence with that child he feels he knows immediately and his entire nervous system or her entire nervous system is affected one way or another way because of her regulation or disregulation. So the so this is a mush right that the he says and that that's that's an experience. So it's not anymore. Yeah. But the you don't have that once the is present. That's I want you. I'm here with you. And that intimate connection is experienced as bliss. So now let's see. This was the some of the main points we spoke about a little more by that was the it's close to the end of chapter 2 like six six seven lines before gimmel 120 page 120 in the copies. It's very interesting. He just explained everything is we just explained that in it goes through is not like the it's like ashes versus the log. It comes from the log but it goes through a tremendous transformation a chemical transformation. It's not just an external transformation. Doesn't look like a log. It's truly transformative even though 20 minutes ago an hour ago it was a log and you didn't put in another ingredient here. You didn't put there was a fire. I mean that was the ingredient and it creates a and that's why whatever the person down here is through their personality traits and characteristics which we call the it's going to be like ashes and that is its limitation. So why don't you say the same thing also with so he says He doesn't get in so much in the details here but there's basically everything is with so you have to the says the crowns of each world they evolve one from another directly. So you have you have you have he says even though there's tremendous differences between the of one world and the of the lower world but it's number one it's the way the light of evolves the light is a light that's integrated into the structure of every single identity and creation that it becomes its identity. So over here it evolves in a way which we call shinyamus. It goes through a transformation of essence in order to be able to become the of the next world or of the next reality. When it comes to circles or which is the infinite light which is what represents it's above the head. So over here there's also difference of levels but nonetheless you say the inab says the crowns evolve directly one from another because it's ultimately an it's one it's a place that goes beyond structure and because it goes beyond structure so the highest and the lowest ultimately could meet. So when there's this experience of which is an experience of it's not an experience of understanding of which over there you say as much as you understand it's through but once it's of which is a concept of which is the so here gets revealed it touches the space there's a real real merging of experience which is what he says of the essence The beginning the prerequisite the vessel to to the world of is what does this mean you would think the opposite the word ble is usually trans translated as null self-nullification sim is the opposite right I'm feeling happy I'm feeling joyous I'm feeling present I'm feeling alive I feel the the the beauty of the connection so He says, "No, the real Kim is." So, either we don't understand what B is or we don't understand what is we don't understand both. There's a P in chapter 29 as he brings in footnote 25 says the humble ones will experience an increase of joy from the word an increase of in Hashem. So what do we see from here? From all the words the spoke about it's the which is humility. It says about right is humility. This is the tool to he doesn't even say there's a lot of nice words you could say. The word is so care that humility that's the as my father-in-law explains that begins with these words from the year 1937 he says in 26 this is strange humility and joy are two opposites it motions. A tanua is like a motion, a movement, a posture. A tua is like a posture, right? You could pick lift up your hands, you could lower your hands. You could be in a state where you're standing erect. You know, your statue is erect and upright or the opposite. You're caved in means two opposite postures, two paradoxical motions. Why? the the posture, the motion of you know what means how do you translate that uh shrinking it's one of shrinking when something shrinks is a of expansiveness right you could see when a person is in a real of they're openhearted they're generous they're giving even people they won't speak to usually because they're like they're afraid you know they're self-conscious right they speak to them you see when a person is in a real I don't mean a fake through of just trying to smile you know so that people shouldn't ask you too many questions but when a person is really really like your heart is open one such a moment you're much more free you could connect to people that you wouldn't connect at other times even if you're usually introverted and every word is meticulously calculated and it's hard for you it's hard to get a good morning from this guy especially before his coffee, right? But in a real of sudden openness and expans it's it's a real humility. It's self aacing is not self aacing. But here he says, [snorts] The dafa theov is the is is the kali it's a path to he says and this really explains to us what the hol of is what is humility should never be confused with shiflo Shifless means a sense of um kite. Yiddish has very good words for this. Yeah. like a down a sense of down being downtrodden like a like a loneliness like I'm a shuffle said the soul feels cheap right not less means the soul feels it's like cheap like I'm nothing like I'm I'm lowly I'm lowly I don't deserve I don't want I don't know I don't have an opinion I don't need Il don't know I never knew I'm not sure I was born and this you know that type of uh >> huh even before depression even before depress may not be active you know depression but it's a sense of the person may be very functional in their own world they may be very functional but internally the soul feels small and it certainly keeps the person away from hoodiness and confrontation and arrogance and you know it's there could be some some practical advantages to it that you know they're not fighting and they're not arguing and they could say I'm sorry and etc. But the is of a sense of downtroddenness. He said that's not what is you don't find good in your soul. That's that's what one might think. Who am I? I make mistakes and I'm deceptive and I have and I can't get my life together. It's what am I? Whatever. I'm just trying to [snorts] survive. I'm in survival mode. You don't celebrate, you don't see, you don't identify the goodness of your soul. Right? Very, very strong words. In other words, he's going to talk about, can you really identify the goodness of your soul? Can you talk about that? Can you really see it? Not just talk about it to others like experience it. Shifless says, I I can't find much good. Yeah, maybe there's something good. I mean, you know, relative to Hitler or Osama bin Laden or Stalin. Okay, he might be a sadic, right? But uh you know between the if you go to a higher standard he doesn't really see good in that's not unov. >> Yeah. But so saying even a person who's being honest and authentic to the best of their ability you know doing the best with the tools they have is not he doesn't see good in his soul. There's a lack of self-consciousness means he doesn't feel himself. He doesn't need his ego to be at the center of existence. That's what Anova is. Very very different. Shifla says he doesn't identify good in himself. So he feels as a lowly person. Anova is the exact opposite. The person goes into a state of flow where they're like channeling and they're not busy. They're not they know they're not obsessing with their posture and their position. You think he likes me? You like me? Am I is it a good Is it a bad Is he going to come back? Can I get more money? You know said every person in their own life means I'm busy with my self-consciousness. I always I'm busy with that. Always positioning myself in the right space. The person may know very well all their mileas. They know it and they they see it. They don't have questions about it. is they're not in a state where the where where the person the person's ego the person's separateness needs to be a mus needs to be a reality why why not why because a person really recognizes the real recognizes he can know that he has mileers that maybe nobody in the world has and he knows them and he needs to know them it's very important to know them because if not he squanders them. But he knows one thing. It's not he didn't create himself. Like somebody once said about somebody, he's a self-made man and he worships his creator. Well, this guy, [laughter] he worships his real creator. He knows it's not. It's a gift. He was gifted to be a channel for everything he has. So, he's actually aware of all of this. When you take for example the gift of amun of faith or the gift of love that comes from the hidden love which includes also hidden or comes also from same is true with all others. The says was the humblest man of all people living on earth and says even from non-Jews is even from non-Jews. It's not from every Jew any person he met. So it's a very strange thing but he didn't know himself. So you could say garnished but that's not that's a complete misunderstanding of Moshe. If Moshe could sit in his room a whole day with his sheep, his b okay you could say he felt he was a push to he didn't even understand who he was but Mosha single-handedly stood up to the superpower of the world and he brought them down. So true he hesitated but once he went on this mission it was unwavering. The wisdom and the courage and the strength of Mosha is indescribable. The says that was he represents the the the epitome that a person human being can reach. The says mosha wrote it. [laughter] He also wrote the how humble is that by the way I'm going to write something about myself. A humble man like me you have never met in history. You will never met in history. Here's your comes from God. Yeah. Yeah. We know what we think about people who write their own eulogy and especially when they write such things, right? Huh? >> Savlon. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know the savon. No. Two words. It actually the reason shuffle is because the word anov I think is the first time it's brought in. So Rashi is trying to explain pit what the concept when you get into the specific here he's going into the specific psychologically emotionally he's explaining the difference. So what's and didn't know that from everybody he was chosen. Hashem could have chosen uh he could have chosen and yank to give the title. He didn't. So it was just a mistake. Like [laughter] it's funny because when Hashem chooses parishes, right? So he says, "Who am I? Who am I to do this? Why are you choosing me?" Right? Then all these explanations why he shouldn't be chosen. But at the end, Hashem says, "I'm choosing you." So what did he think? That God got the wrong address. You know, he wanted to go to Finkelstein's house and he ended up at Mishabenu's house. He obviously knew. So he says that's so how is he? So that's what people make a mistake with doesn't mean that if I'm tall I should say I'm short and if I'm wise I should say no I'm dumb and if it's light outside saying night is not enough. It's it's it's it's falsehood. If you're 6.3 and you say I'm the I'm the shortest person in the world. It's not enough. The same is true with other qualities. When a person's every soul has its uniqueness. There's no such thing as soul doesn't have its uniqueness. It's so does not mean I don't see that had to see it in order to do what he had to do. How is he supposed to lead the Jewish people 40 years in the desert and think he has no qualities when he had to stand up to rebellion after rebellion after rebellion single-handedly theel and the and the every every Monday and Thursday there was another revolt over there and he's the one who stood up and led them like a shepherd that cannot come if you look in the mirror and say I don't even know if I exist and I should exist >> yeah in a very internal place. So how is he? So says why he understood the gift that he was given and he was grateful for it. He didn't think for a moment I am the one who created all of this and therefore I'm essentially superior to everybody. So now the question is okay so it's a gift. Why? You're more humble than other people. So you're so fine. I was given this gift. You give another gift. Does the Does the the the maple tree or the cedar look down at a bush and say, "You loser? I'm a Lebanon cedar tree." Yeah, this is a tree. He looks down at the blade of grass. This is the losers. This is called this not growth. Right. So if the cedar tree does that is a tipish. Somebody once said somebody told me a very good line. It comes from somebody said uh arrogance is like uh like the the the maple tree looking at the acorn and feeling arrogant when really the acorn develops into the maple and then the maple produces more acorn. So they could be continuous generations. Imagine a chicken looking at an egg, right? and saying, [laughter] "Look at me. How my chicken's an egg." So, first of all, a few weeks ago, you also an egg. And second of all, you know what the tas of you is to lay another egg. [laughter] So, >> right. Yeah. How? But but it's true. The misha, you hear I'm talking about chickens, >> huh? EMS, right? The chicken looks so one step I smash you. Right? It's a joke. But that's really what arrogance is. It's mish. What arrogance is with everything. He's looking at the egg. He came from the egg. He's going to he's going to produce an egg. It's it's part it's part of a process. It's part of a journey. And everybody plays their role in the symphony. a healthy organism, the heart doesn't look at the toe and says, "What? What are you? What are you? Let me cut you off." It It's stupid, right? It's stupid. Because of Mosha's wisdom, he got this. He got this so well. You see how important this is? The hierarchy is not absolute. The hierarchy is a different mission. This is very, very hard for people to understand. The Mosha was an anov. We sometimes live in a culture where if a certain person reaches a certain madrega, they are essentially considered higher and then they're unov because they're making believe they're not. So it's really a game within a game within a game and everybody knows it. And that's what he's trying to negate. You're talking about a very authentic experience. The moment you get into an absolute hierarchy, that's idolatry. Dafka Mosha knew this. Mosha knew it better than everybody else cuz he was Mosha Raenu because he was more humble than other people forget this. The uniqueness of Mosha was he never forgot it. That's why he was Mosha Rabenu. So in position he was the leader. He was the boss. The buck stops here. He's the one who made the decisions. He's the one who told him where to go, when to go, how to go. He made all the decisions. Nobody else did. And when they challen challenged him, he fought back and he said no. And he the earth swallowed up Kaidak. Please no here. Why don't you should go to the tent and let Kaid relax and give him a couple of danishes and a coffee and let him, you know, uh maybe he needs a little medicine. Whatever. Relax. >> Huh? >> Children. >> Yeah. Anger management. Whatever it is. Kak had a bad day. His wife screamed at him. He lost a couple of million dollars in the stock market. Whatever. Government shutdown. He's in a depression. He loses it. When do people start scream? He's having a hard day. Mosher Rabenu at that moment understood right that this is a danger for the entire structure of the Jewish people. But he could only do this because at never never at a moment did he forget that he essentially he was a channel and somebody else could have been chosen for the channel and that kept him normal. It kept him safe. Not just safe, it kept him divine. It kept him divine. Furthermore, He asked himself also a deeper question. If these same gifts and qualities would have been given to another person, that person would have been Mosha and maybe they would have even used it out better and been even in a higher level. I don't know. So there was always was always perspective. Of course, nobody was chosen like Moshe. Now think about what this does to a rabbin, right? Think think about this internally because this is not talking about just saying these words. They were talking about experiencing it that way. Actually, then you can utilize your mileas much more because there's no self-consciousness around them. It's not like even if I do this, what are they going to think about me? It it really has nothing to do with me. Huh? >> You could be fully fully present and you could be fully fully powerful. You're not afraid of your power because your power is not something to be sometimes people are very self-conscious about their powers. People shouldn't see, people shouldn't know like you know we squirrel powerful people sometimes either they're aggressive and it's takar to be around them or they squirrel their way so that because they don't want to make somebody else uncomfortable but it's sometimes a very it's a very difficult way to live but here he could be fully fully present with who he is and fully fully expansive and yet complete humility That's the paradox. But it's really not a paradox. When you understand humility this way, of course, this is a container for sim. Why? Because the key we're going to see the key of sim is the suspension of self-consciousness. Whenever I am feeling that I need to position myself, do you like me? Do you not like me? Am I doing well? Am I not doing well? I'm angry. I'm not angry. You think I'm happy? Maybe I'm happy. No. Yesterday I was more happy. The greatest contradiction to sim is feeling of self not knowing your mile. We're not talking about that. But the sense of self-consciousness is the ego sits in the center of everything and it doesn't allow the person to be in a state of flow. And whenever I'm out of the state of flow, I'm busy protecting myself. So the is the tus. >> He maybe he was angry, hurt, but it was never with an it was never the ego. >> Was not selfinterest. There was a pain there. Anger in terms of a pain. There were times it says yeah. >> And not only that, he was very happy not to have the job. In other words, it wasn't like he des he didn't need this job. Like so that's why he could be a real leader. Like he didn't need the people to validate him and flatter him because he was I'm happy as a shepherd. like my life was very rich. He was a when his if his life would have been on empty. So he needs the leadership to come home and say I'm a good guy. So essentially you're more of a follower than a leader. You have to look at the polls. What do the people say because I need the people to like me. So essentially you look like a leader but really you're following Salanta once said in that when Mashiah comes before Mashia the leaders of the gener the face of the generation be like the face of a dog. It's very insulting. Said, "What's what's shot?" She says, "A dog always runs ahead of its master until it reaches >> if he's not trained." >> Huh? Yeah. But the dogs, you know, they like they search until they hit the corner or the crossroad. And then what do they do? >> They stop and they look back. So he says, he says, "You have leaders." It's they're going ahead. But the moment the mo the moment they cross, what does he say? What does she say? What do they say? What do they say? What is he going to say? How are they going to think about it? What [laughter] >> weird? That's what Salanta said. The kelliff goes ahead. It looks like he's running the show. You're just walking slow. You know, he's here. He already explored everything. He knows the black. He came back. He went. He's mama shamanic. >> Until until the moment. [laughter] You got to make a real turn. Huh? >> Until the moment that it matters. >> Yeah. Until the moment that matters. I don't know. I don't sow. I'm invisible. I'm humble. Who am I? But nobody listens to me. So you could be a true could be could be a true true channel. So in every person's life, this is what anova means. So that's the difference between an in one is I don't even know who I am. I'm just like I'm just like feeling lousy. I'm feeling like queasy and creepy and negative. And that's not that's the person just feels in a mat that I'm worth. It's like a sense of worthlessness. >> You disqualify yourself and it's a very internal feeling. It's not about words again. It's a very internal space. Another means no I'm a complete channel. I wrote down a line I saw it just captures it very beautifully. Humility, real humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. That's the that's that's really captures it. Shiflo is thinking less of myself. Nobody who's going to listen. I don't even I don't even know anything. I don't understand. I'm just stupid. And very often it's a protective mechanism. We have to understand it. It's one of the coping mechanisms. If I have no opinions, if I have no feelings, nobody will disappoint me. Nobody will fight with me. I'll never get into a fight. My wife won't everybody will like me. It's it's a coping mechanism. One of the one of the great just like arrogance is a coping mechanism. One of the great coping mechanisms of the animal soul is shiflo. Yeah. If I become invisible and I eclipse myself, there's no expectations. I won't disappoint anybody. I won't even disappoint myself. If you don't have ambitions, you don't fail. Right? If you don't have ambitions, nobody will ever criticize you. I don't want to be criticized in this world. What do I do not to be criticized in this world? I become a couch potato. Nobody criticizes couch potatoes. What are you going to criticize them for? Sitting on the couch. You could criticize somebody who takes initiative, somebody who has an opinion, somebody who does something. So it's a galdic, a coping mechanism, but it's a coping man. We have to understand that. Anova is a blessing. Anova is another gift. Ana is a divine gift. It's interesting at the end of the last mission of says, it says the end of when Rebi died when he passed away. humility was gone. This is how ends told the one teaching the Mishna. Don't teach the students that when Rebi died Anova was gone cuz I am still here. I am humble. Don't teach them. No, I am here and I am a humble man. the that's how the finishes [snorts] and what do you say about that he was in touch he understood that he >> it's fascinating no and the whole the publiciz was considered one of the and therefore don't teach what it says in the Mishna [laughter] >> you live with this >> and your wife too we should ask Rashi But it it's a fascinating thing. A guy gets up and says, "Don't say this." The econ. No, there is somebody who's humble in the world. And who is it? Not my brother, not my sister, NOT MY GRANDMOTHER, NOT MY WIFE, ME. Imagine somebody doing that today. Imagine a guy getting up in Right. This guy, there's no anymore. There's no There's one left. There's one left. There was once somebody passed away so somebody was giving a husb he said he died and he died and he died and I'm also an old Jew right [laughter] everybody's laughing yeah you're having a good time by the also laughing when this guy said it because like he actually meant it. I don't know if you understood why people are laughing. You know what's so funny? What are you laughing that I'm going to die? So when you look at the gur it's like very it's it's very very strange. So imagine that even the gift of humility they understood completely as a gift. The most humble humble pe the re really humble people could tell you about their humility. Really humble people cannot they're not self-conscious even about that because even that doesn't belong to me. Even my humility doesn't belong to me. You [snorts] to be humble. It's a it's a you're a channel. Humility allows you it's a merit to be humble. Be humble means you're the most powerful person in the world cuz you know how powerless you are. You're not self-conscious. Your ego doesn't get involved. You could be a channel. Wow, what a you have. And it's a that life cracked open your ego. Not everybody has that. If you were lucky enough for those who sitting here, that life cracked open your ego. It's a gift. Other people didn't have that gift. The gift may have come with blood, sweat, tears, and pain. I know that. But it's a gift. It's a gift. Some people are only sitting here learning because their egos were cracked open by life. >> Of course. >> Yeah. It's a tremendous gift. And when the gift leads you not to shiflas but to the difference it's not to shiflas means God hates me. I'm a cursed person. I have bad masle. Yeah. Somebody once said he was a g a convert. So he says I have the worst of both worlds. A convert. It was he became a Jew. He says, he says, "This is the guy. I don't know how to translate that into English, but uh not bad, huh? This is what the G said. I have the worst of both worlds." Yeah. Huh. Very good. Yeah. You see his conversion was [laughter] very good. Very good. So when you get cracked open and it doesn't lead you to shiflo, God hates me. I'm cursed. It leads you to Anova. Anova is God doesn't hate you. God sees you as a channel. And to be a channel, you need to get your ego out of the way because ego blocks the energy. Ego is easing God out. And ego is really easing greatness out. Easing greatness out. It's out. The ego substitutes your greatness. Why? Because the ego basically says, "I'm in control. I'm going to protect myself. I'm the one who's creating everything. So my greatness is as limited as my ego could be successful for the next hour. And the moment somebody sends me a text and in tat I don't know how to do that in English but something snidy what happens to the poor ego is now like literally a drowning literally a drowning mouse you know trying to to to find anything. Give me a compliment. Give me a compliment. And some people do do that. They go from person to person to person to get the oxygen that their ego needs to live because it's always dying. Because an ego by definition is dead. It is dead. It just makes believe it's alive. [laughter] So it it it constantly needs reassurance. Am I alive? Am I alive? Am I alive? The moment you could step out of that, then you you you can actually be alive. You could be a channel. What did you want to say? Yeah. >> But what if you didn't get it because you were broken, right? Like you were saying broken and then you took the you didn't get it as it let me work on being. >> Yeah, it's a good question. So actually the words let me work on being an unov could be very very >> could be very very challenging >> is it even >> right it's like let me work on not being self-conscious let me work on everybody you know not caring about what anybody says you know it's like I don't I don't want anybody to think about the pink elephant in the room right do not think about the pink for the next five seconds do not think about an elephant that's all what everybody thinks thought. So it's really it's really the work is a different type of work. It's really it's not work directly about self-consciousness. It's really it's like you know you have to go to the to the foundation under it and pull out pull out the rug from under its feet so that the person could could automatically like go back into their natural flow. In other words, naturally the says, as we'll soon see, children naturally are humble and they're also in flow. The ego becomes a very very powerful coping mechanism that we develop in order to survive in a very hard world. So the work the work is not taking on the ego, you know, butting heads with it and saying, "Okay, right now I'm going to destroy you. I'm going to crush you cuz you know what the ego says? I'll show you. It's impossible. It's like I'm I'm actually I'm the one protecting you. So a little the ego says like I'm the guy you're alive because of me. Like you have whatever you have because of me. So like just fighting it that way I think is very very ineffective. It's going to win you. It's going to defeat. It's like what I'm going to decide to be happy. You ever I'm I'm now going to make myself happy. How happy do you become that way? I'M GOING TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY, YOU IDIOT. I'M NOT HAPPY. WHY YOU NOT HAPPY? [laughter] It's the most miserable experience in the world. It's constantly trying to control because my whole attitude is coming from a place of so much detachment, of so much survival, of so much inner inner shame and guilt and inadequacy. So I'm like trying to force emotions on myself. The [snorts] experience of tin that we spoke here about is actually you let go of everything and you actually go into flow. You actually experience God. To experience God, you have to let go of everything that blocks it. Everything that blocks it. That's really what it is. Am I making sense what I'm saying a little bit? >> Huh? >> So shiflo could sometimes have a huge ego or no ego, but it's the same thing. It's not it destroys its ego because that becomes its ego. The system is corrupt. The whole world is corrupt. But but really the thinks I'm it's it's a wonderful coping mechanism of my my my ego is that I have no ego. I have no opinions. I have no feelings. You can't hurt me. You can't help me. I have no emotions. I wasn't even supposed to wake up today. By mistake, I woke up. Once I'm here already, okay. >> The shiflus is a way of being busy with ourselves. Yeah. It's just a different type of self. One guy, I'm busy with myself, you know, looking for validation in one way or another. I asked a guy, why do you work 18 hours? It was a problem with his marriage. He said, "Why do you stay 18 hours in your office?" He was work. So, he was honest. He says, "I need to prove to everybody in my company that I am indispensable. I need everybody to feel over there that I am indispensable." And he knew it. Till everybody doesn't feel that I am indispensable, I will not leave the office. So he puts in crazy crazy crazy work. But he he knew he knew that that was his template. That was his survival template. I'm going to work so hard and he's very successful. He's a brilliant kid. Not such a kid anymore. And he does very very well. And he proves it to everybody. And in the morning they come and they go and that is his oxygen neb to that oxygen, right? Nebach. But but it makes sense. It makes sense. And then there's the shiflus. The shiflus is I can't expect anything. I don't want to expect anything. I'm just a nobody. I'm just lowly. I'm don't matter. I have no good in me. I'm evil and I just have bad masle or god hates me. And that's a >> I don't even deserve. >> Yeah. >> I become invisible. I become invisible. But essentially, essentially, it's not that there's no herat. There's more. I feel myself so much that I'm busy telling myself how bad I am. Anova, you're not busy telling yourself how bad you are. You're actually channeling God's gifts. Why are you telling me how bad you are? [laughter] Don't tell yourself. Don't tell. You're channeling who you are. You're not busy with how bad you are or how good you are. You're busy with how amazing the gift that Hashem is channeling through you right now. >> Yeah. >> What a wonderful gift. It's an opportunity for me to become [snorts] the reaction. >> Of course. >> Of course. Of course. >> Yeah. You see, you see, here's a little bit of the the like the little secret here. The deepest moments in life, we can't initiate through control. We initiate them through letting go of control. It's not like if somebody steps on me, okay, right now I'm going to become an unov. That process usually becomes counterproductive because those processes come through the ego. The ego says, okay, right now I'm going to become a humble person. Right now I'm going to become a sadic. From this I'm going to become a sadic. Being cracked open actually means that I live in flow. Meaning I'm I'm just open to reality. Like I'm a receiver as much as I'm a giver. I could be honest about all of my emotions and yet I I just allow life to be experienced through me. I'm not in control. That's what it means. Everything is a gift. That's how we reach anything. Yes, somebody may have have treated me in a certain way. And my ego is going crazy. So what do I do at that moment? All I can do is I can experience my emotions. I can I experience what my animal soul is feeling. It's very insulted. it feels mistreated. I [snorts] want to break this guy's windows or I want to run away to New Zealand. I want to quit my job within an hour. I want to write him a text that the whole gehenn will not be enough for him. Um I want to tell him what I think about his wife, about his mother-in-law, about him. I want to tell him about what I remember, right? And I I you know you write those texts you know those those texts get written very very fast because there's like an impulsiveness and like you know five minutes later you have a migilla mcgillis esester right thank god you didn't press send cuz your wife walked into the room [laughter] fine so that's all normal normal reactions this is the animal consciousness that just went crazy and got very very hurt so what do I do now to start arguing with that and saying my ego is not going to win I'm It's not going to work. It's almost like we have to have compassion for that part and then you breathe [snorts and laughter] and you breathe a little deeper and you lean in. You lean in to your neakiss. You lean in to your essential soul which knows who it is. It has clarity. It's always it wants to be in flow. And you like we try just to lean into it and over there I don't have to make I don't have to ignore anything. You're just in a very safe secure and calm space. Now the other parts may not be ready for that. They're like no we're going to fight. I'm going to take revenge. I'm going to sue him. I'm going to teach him a lesson. Yeah. I'm not now discussing if you should sue him or not. I'm not getting into that. Right. But when these decisions are made from the animal soul rather than from the divine soul, we often regret them cuz they're coming from my weakness. They're not coming from my strength. They're coming because my ego was just hurt. So I'm going to punch back from an ego place and I'm going to hurt myself in the process. You know, it's like like punching the wall, you know. Thank you. Say that. Maybe the wall should get punched. I don't know. But have Rahman is on your hand. So I think it's it's really having compassion for all these other parts and then really leaning in to a deeper space where we know that we are in flow and sometimes it's very hard and and it it takes time and things have to pass but if we can train ourselves in this it becomes I think easier and easier make sense what I'm saying or no >> yes but the reality is always a little bit different because You don't want to be in athentic because there there's a lot of people that are uh narcissistic or whatever it is, right? And they can give you the stream of of their consciousness and if you don't stop that flow, it's also basically to project on you. So to be humble, it doesn't mean you're just okay, let me listen. It's the opposite. The humble person will have the best b the healthiest boundaries. >> The humble person will have the healthiest boundaries cuz I'm not afraid. I'm not protecting here my ego. This is not about my self-consciousness that I'm better than you and then you're a nobody. My boundaries are actually from coming from respecting God. My boundaries come from respecting God. That's what self-respect means. That's what real self-respect means. Raenu respected himself. When told him nepotism, you're a liar. You took all the power for yourself. What did what did what did what did say? You don't know Aaron. You don't know Aaron. He like you're fighting Aaron as though you this has nothing to do with Aaron. Does nothing do with me. Right? He the humble person has the best boundaries. The shuffle is so busy protecting themselves that their boundaries are constantly blurred. They don't know when to allow toxicity in and they allow it in because they don't have that real self-respect. The humble person, the self-respect is really a way of respecting Hashem. Or to put it differently, if Hashem gave me energy today and talents and gifts and resources and blessings and life and oxygen and 60 trillion cells, it's his. I have to respect it. If you give me a picadan, if you give me now a billion dollars, right? And somebody says, "Oh, I need a halva. I need I need an investor. Can you give me It's not even my money to give away." Well, you have a billion. It's not mine. Somebody gave me a picaden, a billion dollars. I can't give you a hundred million. I can't even give you $10 without permission. My eyesight is not mine. My my trillion cells are not mine. My brain is not mine. My heart is not mine. My soul is not my conscious is not mine. Who am I to squander it? How why are you giving it away? Why are you giving it away to somebody who's toxic, who just wants to manipulate you and feed off you? It's not even yours. God gave it to me for a reason. He gave me my light to share it with me, to share it with those around me, to share whatever my mission is. It's a picotten. You're not even allowed to give it away. The humble person has the best boundaries. He's like, "This conversation is not for me. I'm sorry." And it's not even with judgmentalism. If it's working for you, whatever. If maybe I, you know, it's it's even without judgmental because it has nothing to do with me. >> Protecting your gift. >> You're protecting your gift. Exactly. >> Huh? >> That was a gift. It's not mine. That was a gift. You know, when I I used I'm teaching for a lot of years. Somebody even wrote to me. I see your love language is teaching. That's the sixth love language. Usually there's five love languages. So uh so uh I'm teaching for many years. So one of the personal evolutions I'm I still work on it but one of the personal evolutions in life was I used to prepare Shurib and I wanted them to be perfect. I really wanted them to be perfect. H thank you. Ah wow. Now you're just feeding my galdic galdic always knows what to say to build people up. Now you know that to create a perfect sh there's no such a thing because what's perfect in this world create perfect. It could be a it could be good. It could be galdic just tell it's Bayer what's his house? It's in his house. In his driveway. >> In his driveway. Okay. Bye. >> Have to invite him to be perfect if he's here. But I wanted that. And why did I want it? So I'm not going to get now psychoanalyze myself. You could do that with my therapist. But certainly part of it was I wanted the validation. I wanted the credit. I wanted the feelood that comes with it. But because I also have an inner critic, a pretty a pretty uh skillful [snorts] one. So even more than the audience, I knew what was missing based on my standards. So very often I would finish and regurgitate in my head sometimes for hours or days finding every flaw of a lecture or a seminar or workshop or a keynote whatever it is or a class and literally literally being tortured about I missed this and I said this wrong and I have to do this right and then if I would get a text or somebody would give me feedback and it was positive so it felt good for six minutes and then when somebody would say by the way you made a mistake that was like boom. And it it was just it was a torturous experience. Literally an internal torturous experience. >> What we don't realize or it takes a long time to realize is just the agony of defeat >> Yeah. >> is so much greater than the thrill of victory. >> Of course. >> Yes. >> But it's so much greater. >> Yeah. Yeah. The agony of defeat is so much. >> Yeah. Really? >> You don't gamble? Yeah. >> For five seconds. I'm happy. And if I lose a dollar, I'm >> you're done. >> I'm a broke. >> Yeah. The agony of defeat is much deeper than the thrill of victory. Right. But even the thrill of victory was not a thrill of real victory. It was just a thrill of distraction of the void that I was experiencing that the victory for five minutes covered up. That's it. So I can eat a brownie or bapka or cheesecake and feel good for like 90 seconds, right? Somebody can drink. Somebody goes on their phone. somebody watches a movie. But it's all the same thing. It's going from distraction to distraction to distraction to distraction. All to compensate and to fill a void that's not even being filled. What I needed to realize, and I still work on this, but I think I I try to work on this a lot, is to realize that my I'm a channel. I'm really a channel to say that I always experience that and I always integrate. I'm not going to tell that to you. I have my ego and I have my insecurities and I have my traumas. But but I know that that's the truth. That's where I want to be. I want to be a channel. What does a channel mean? A channel means whatever Hashem is going to allow for me to channel at this year, at this moment the wisdom that he's going to give me, the the words that he's going to give me. What do we say? May that song Right? We could prepare, but that's I'm going to be grateful and tomorrow I may realize I made a mistake. Okay, beautiful. So, next time I'll say it a little differently. Tomorrow maybe I'll have more wisdom and the same idea could come out in a different way. And the I can't tell you the emotional uh uh freedom and liberation what that clears up in the system. It's incredible. And the more I can experience it, it's just more normal. It's just normal. Forget about anything else. It's not about great. It's just simply normal. >> Yeah. The delogging the the guilt and the shame and the trying to do this and there's no torture. >> But I know it's because in in a second I could lose it. It can hijack it. Especially if it's a very some sometimes it's a very good sh say always. Always. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. You know what I was thinking? >> Of course I know what you're thinking. And I also knew what I wanted to hear. Not only that, you know, people really know what other people are thinking when they know what they want to hear, right? Yeah. [snorts] Somebody once said, "The greatest feeling in the world is to do something anonymously and then somebody finds out." I just forgot what I wanted to say. Oh, what were we talking about? >> Sometimes very good cheer, like really good. And I could see the impact on people, right? And a person may say, you know, that just cleared up something incredible for me. It's like a lifecher. And there's there's a little piece that comes in and says one word to me. Own that. Take that for yourself. Own that. Somebody just gave you a million dollars. Take it. Put it in your bank account. It's a natural temptation. Own it. Take it for yourself. Like just marvel and wallow in that compliment and just like take credit for yourself. It's a death trap. It's lit. I know it's a death trap. It's very tempting because it worked. It just worked. The home run was scored, right? A standing ovation. Take it. Own it. Go home. But I know it's a death trap that lasts for exactly eight minutes. >> Then you're not >> And then and then the torture that it comes with is terrible. It's devastating. It was literally like giving up your marriage. Imagine you have a beautiful marriage. Forgive my forgive my example. It's just a good example. Literally, you have a beautiful marriage and you give it up for five tw 10 25 minutes of fun, but it's a fund that's going to destroy your family and your marriage. So, you're married for 20 years, 30 years, you have a beautiful family, you have children, you have a wife, you're happy. Obviously, nobody's perfect, but you're happy more or less. You have a good loyal relationship. And for 20 minutes of fun, you literally gave it up. And it's never going to be the same. Maybe through 20 years of of chuva, right? You have to be a and still people do this. People do this because it's very very tempting. It's it's it's fast food and it's good food and it's food. But it's a death trap. That's what it means to go away from a to go away from a to go away from BL is a death trap. It's kishmak. I know it. It's comfortable. It's a thrill. It feels good. But if that moment that person says you changed my life if I for two seconds in my own soul own that as mine it's a death trap. It's very tempting because it's good but 10 minutes later I'm a dead person because and the next person who says by the way what you just said was Apicursus [laughter] right this guy's life was changed and this guy is like you should go into right and now from the heavens I went straight into hell because there was no there was it wasn't real nothing was real >> huh >> it's part of the job yeah right but but that's what happens you just lifted me up to a place I don't belong in. This is so now somebody else puts me into the abyss and it's exactly the same thing. It's mom's the same thing. >> How do you compliment? So when the person gives me that type of compliment does the ego that wakes up is you know take it take it sit here more get get more information like tell me more. [snorts] you know, there's all the manipulative ego things in order to make me feel good and really just to give me credit, but I I just have a very deep awareness where that's coming from. And therefore, if I'm in a moment of real integration and alignment, what I'm going to what I'm going to what I say to myself then is what a special what a special gift that Hashem has given me that I could that I could be a channel for for the for the could bring so much light into the world and to people's hearts. What a gift. Wow. What an opportunity. And if the person wants to share more about how they were affected, what a gift. Why was I given the gift that you asked the creator? >> It was given to someone else. >> And if somebody was like Mosha said, if somebody got it, he may have done much better with it because people developed the gifts that God gives them. [laughter] >> [laughter] >> A guy once told Roth a Malama told Rothschild if I would have your money I would be richer because I wouldn't quit teaching. [snorts] Huh? You wouldn't quit if you had Rothschild's money. [laughter] So he said I would be richer. I would still get my paycheck as a Mhammed. That was his assagus. And it's really but really and it's not really a high madrega. It's actually being normal. There was a there was a I grew up there was a poor man his name was Teddyen. He would walk around 770 collecting money and he was one of these that was very aid. Everybody liked him. He was never aggressive and he he was like an old man. You see he went through life a guy Teddy and he was very sweet. He would come like this and like very very idle. Lamus. So, [snorts] uh, somebody once told me that he was in Khan's grocery store that's on Kingston and Union and he saw Teddy buying a lottery ticket. It was like $300 million. So, he asked Teddy, "What would you do with the money if you win?" So, he says, "I'm going to put bodyguards at every door of 770 so that no other schnutter can go and collect money." So, the whole 770 is for myself. Right? Imagine a guy could close up this sh from all schnutters besides him. me walks away every day with $45,000. Not a bad perna for a day, right? I would also consider it maybe. But it's a very powerful story. You know why? Because Teddy was a real schnut. So when a real thinks about $300 million, it's going to make the job much more gishmach. So instead of making a hundred bucks a day, I'm going to make $20,000 a day. Gavaldic. But he couldn't free himself up from the hug of ashnar. Maybe if you have $300 million, you don't have to raise. You don't have to shore in 770. No, that's not an option. [laughter] Business is business. Pleasure is pleasure. >> What What's the point? What's what's life? What's life for? Yeah. >> He understood his mission. >> He understood his mission. Very good. Why am I saying this? Because that's how the ego works. As long as we live in that orbit, another 100 million, another it's all it's it's trapped. It's trapped in the conception of, "Oh, maybe after this I'm going to get a compliment that I was so vulnerable." Yeah, is going to text me. You were so vulnerable today. What did they put into your coffee? I don't know what he put into the coffee. You made it, so I don't know what you put into the coffee. Huh? MDMA. I don't know what he put into the coffee. [laughter] What? for whatever you put in. >> So it's just very important because it's such a trap. It's like okay so now but but in real Tyog none of this exists. It's like you're it's like a spaceship. You know the spaceship the first few seconds 30 seconds it's still in the atmosphere where there's gravity. Once it goes out of that >> it's over. There's no gravity anymore. And that's what that that's what realidus is. The first eight seconds, the first 30 seconds, you have to fight gravity. [laughter] And there's no games over there because if you don't fight that gravity, your spaceship is going to Yeah. crash. You have to fight gravity. And gravity is is is not small. Gravity is powerful. It's powerful. You throw up an apple and it's falling down as Newton saw and some of us agree. >> It took me about 40 years >> and you're there already. >> Your spaceship went out. Of course, even to understand this, if you just to just to just to have a havana of this inside your system could take 60 years. But if you do >> Exactly. Exactly. Wow. That was the feedback I was looking for. >> Nope. It's fine. What just happened? Nothing happened. It's fine. >> Okay. [snorts] So, gravity is very serious. It's powerful. It's called Bahamas. It pulls you down. It take here. Come back to earth. This is your survival place. Of who doesn't want compliments? Who doesn't want? Of course, I want to be in control. It makes sense. This is my place of safety. Why do people want to be in control? It's called safety. It's a very normal coping mechanism. Your wife criticizes you. You want to be in control. How do you get in control? You get angry. Anger is a form of control. If I'm angry at you, it means you're an idiot. I'm a sadic. Even if I can't tell it to you, but at least I feel I'm normal. I'm the good guy. It's another coping mechanism. All of these coping mechanisms are part of gravity. And then there's the moment you go out and you can't always like we're not the spaceship can't always, you know, we live on Earth. We we live in gravity. We have to know that. But when there is a moment, which is also a gift, it's also a gift that Hashem allows your spaceship to go out of our present orbit an atmosphere then wow people think that a hashem is like a heavy burden for once you're it's the opposite everything else is a burden you everything else is a burden everything else is the burden that I have to exist and I have to be and I need to be something and I need you to give me credit and I need to be and I need a I'm sick of it. I tried to do it already my whole life. I'm done. I did it. It's vomiting. It's like eating vomit. You ever see people eat vomit? Did you ever see anybody? Yeah. Well Well, that's what we all do. We eat vomit. We vomit and then we eat it. At least vomit it and leave it alone. But that's what it is. It's vomit. It's It's nauseating. It's really nauseating. Clip is nauseating energy. It's fake. It's dirty. It's filthy. It's stupid. And it doesn't do anything. Like been there, done it. Been there, done it. What does it do? It just keeps me detached, small, safe, inauthentic, manipulative, maybe skillful and brilliant, but torturous and really miserable. >> Doesn't the realize that even in the pattern of the sh now we've taken off and we're in the out of the [snorts] >> It's a gift. It's a gift. Has nothing to do with me. It has to do with me as much as it's a gift >> me as a champ and now we're in >> rarified air that was to learn this [snorts] >> just one second. What did you want to ask? You wanted to ask something. >> We're trained the opposite way. Of course, we're trained the opposite. Many of us are trained the opposite. >> Yeah, even the word nakas, give me nas. >> I want you to be successful and give me nas and you'll be a good boy. You'll be a good boy. It makes sense. Listen, we people are good. We're most of us are doing the best we can with the tools we had. In my case, what I was talking about for me this I thought this was like, yeah, this is how you live. Then I realized it's not how you live. It's how you die. That was a good one. Also not for me. You know that line, either you're busy living or you're busy dying. There's no other option. Either you're pursuing your death or you're pursuing your life. One is ble and one is yes. One you're pursuing. You're literally pursuing death. You're chasing after it. It's all the thrill of feeling good for a few moments. This one does it through movies. This one does it through pornography. This one does it through addiction to their phone. This one does it through alcohol, gambling. And some of us do it through binging potato chips or anger or guilt or shame, which is also also very nice addictions. Guilt, shame, all that. Or you're pursuing life. And it's not so simple. In other words, the spaceship doesn't just always fly out. It's it's a gift to fly out. It's not simple. Sometimes Hashem says, "You're not going out of that. I need you. Today, we're going to work through your insecurities." No, I want to feel good. No, today your avoid is right here. You're going to stay in this place where things are difficult and egotistical. That's what you're going to work through. Okay. >> When fighting it, >> don't fight it. Do you don't fight? Don't fight. You don't have to fight. The spaceship doesn't fight. You're just a weir. I'm a weir. Wow. >> Discover your godgiven gifts. It's a discovery of your inherent god-given power. It's inherent. Exactly. You could say you don't understand. It's fine. Don't worry. >> You want to know how to even go here? How do you even go here? Right. Yeah. >> If you watch the chickens, they're very good at this >> because they have no ego on the shelf. It's not their avoid. Chickens avoid is to eat whatever is on the ground. I was I was uh I was feeding chickens the other day. We have some chickens, some hens, and they're in their coupe and I come over with some food and they right away jump. And you know my, you know, the human stupid ego, you know what I thought was? My thought was wretched creatures. Like you throw a little food and they go crazy. And then I threw another piece of food and they jumped. I'm like, "Wow, we're so different." Like I started to give myself credit. Imagine cuz cuz I have food everywhere. I could go everywhere and somebody makes me a nice coffee, right? And these poor chickens are starving. And I'm like I'm like I'm looking at them. I'm like, "Momish beh." And I'm like I'm busy feeling. And then I'm like first of all I realize how stupid it is. But then I also realized something else. I realized they're actually not embarrassed. They actually didn't mind. They didn't mind jumping the food and then jumping and jumping. And then I realized that's what it looks because they have aus their is to eat and wherever there's food to find it and jump and look for more and walk around all day digging for worms and bugs and more food and more food and then in the morning laying an egg and making a new generation. >> They're not selfconcious. >> And they're not self-conscious. I'm fine. Yeah, whenever you throw food, I jump like a mishuga. I was the one who was projecting my mishugas on them. It was so interesting. And then I realized that's what it looks like not to have an ego. They have no ego. Yeah, I jumped for food. This is how I was made. You decided it's embarrassing. FINE, YOU GO to therapy, lapel, they don't need a therapy. I I'm the one who needs it. So, who's the, you know, the big talker? But it's so true in life. You know, we're busy projecting constantly. >> Huh? They are my therapy. You see that? And they're cheaper. Yeah. Yeah. Much cheaper. >> So blissful. [laughter] >> You're saying go before kaparus edium kip. It's not so blissful cuz tak over there. They're mistreated. But in my courtyard, they're not mistreated. >> Huh? If you came to my son's he was saying a mimer on the grass and the chickens were walking around listening to the mimer better than some of the humans. I don't know better, but they were very free. Huh? I was like in Zman Kleman's paintings. >> Okay. So, let's finish this paragraph. Let's finish this paragraph. Them is a little bit. So, is the notif but is the fork. Anova is not but is the container where simka can can be experienced. And he explains it more specifically in a very practical way. The line is starts. The joy is when a person receives a gift. For example, hak means a huge uh a huge um h a huge uh asset or uh h is money uh wealth a huge gift of wealth that you didn't even toil for it and you receive that gift you say like wow I didn't do anything I'm undeserving of this I didn't even work for it I didn't generate this all I can be is grateful imagine somebody walks over to you and says, "I have a house. [laughter] It's worth $3 million. It has two pools, you know, six bathrooms, 12 rooms. It's beautiful. It's completely well perfect." Huh? >> Whatever. Florida's on your once we're dreaming. It could be the Riviera. It could be New Zealand. Whatever you want. Could be Pomona. >> And the good thing is I actually don't need it and I really like you. So here it's yours. Here's the deed. It's yours. What's your feeling? Like you say, by the way, the door on the front. Yeah, it's like I don't like the silver handle, right? First of all, it's an expensive handle. Second of all, so change it, you idiot. The only normal feeling is gratefulness. We all understand that. And then if the person say, "By the way, there's also two cars in the car in the driveway. And by the way, I also paid up for home insurance and the mortgage is paid up. And by the way, there's somebody who delivers food once a week. Instant cart that I also paid up for already 10 years. But you're looking at me like a mishuga. Like what's this guy dreaming of? But the only normal feeling is what's the just grateful. That's it. Nothing else. There's nothing else. So the Reb says basically that's life. That's the truth of life. We just don't think about that cuz we're busy with a house. Think about your body. That is life. That is what's happening in life. Now imagine this person, my daughter once asked me a question. You know these great questions that kids ask. It says don't murder. Whatever Hashem tells us to do, he also does. So how does he murder everybody? Everybody's dying constantly, right? He's not let us steal. He's not let murder. He murders everybody. Everybody dies. That's murder. He kills them. He takes away their nama. Not bad. No. Good question, right? Yeah. The answer came through me. But I actually once saw a beautiful answer if I think of Rabbi David for him and I told it to her and I said imagine somebody comes to you and says here's a home you could live here. It's yours. Everything is paid for. There's food. There's a pool. You have showers. You have everything. Electricity, water, gas, comfort, beds, linen, alts, all the needs. There's one stipulation and that is it's yours for 95 years for 80 years or for 100 years 120 years and then I take back the home anyway 95 years comes and they say okay it's time to leave you say you ganiv you golin you low life you murderer I say wow thank you [snorts] we take it for granted because we take our life for granted I'm sitting here Really, I'm sitting here. I'm breathing. Really? Who who created oxygen? Who created these hands? Like everything. It's a joke to think any otherwise. We're just not mindful of it. So when I tell you about a house, because you know that it cost a million or $2 million. So you're like, "Of course, you'll be grateful." But I want to ask you, how much am I going to pay for somebody to take my eye? How much money do you want to get your hands amputated? How much money are your legs worth? How much money is your heart worth? How much money is your child worth? How much? $2 million? $5 million? If somebody gives you $10 million, you'll allow them to poke out both eyes cuz you have $10 million. You know, even for $300 billion, you'll be the richest man more than Musk. You still won't allow for somebody to poke out even one eye unless you're maybe there's such a person. But huh. And yet we open our eyes. We open our eyes. It's not $2 million. It's hundreds of billions. It's really priceless. Life is miserable. But it's it's really you could give me three houses and each one is $25 million in the Riviera and it doesn't come close. I wouldn't allow you for that to take away an eye or to take away a hand. But this we think we own. So in the morning, you should really start dancing. When it's in the morning, you know, started to dance. They thought something happened. So he said, he said, he started to dance. He took it seriously. But this can only come when you realize it's a gift. It's a gift. If I worked like a dog for 45 years like a mishuga 19 hours a day and I made my million dollars or $10 million and I bought a beautiful house, I'm grateful to myself, my sweat, blood, and tears. When somebody gave me that house, all I can do is be grateful. So he says, the more you go into the world of gratitude, the more you realize it, the more you just your heart opens up. I owe nothing. There's nothing. I don't owe my wife. I don't know. That's a good one. I don't own my just for that the Shia was enough. I don't own my kids also. I don't own my kids. I don't own them. I didn't create them. I didn't m them. I contributed a little seed. [laughter] Your wife also doesn't own them. But at least she contributed, you know, a lot more. What do I contribute to them? I made them. I made them. People think they own their children. Your children are not disappointing you because they weren't created for you. It's a very important thing. They're gifts. It's a gift. It's a gift. You're not let harm your body. Why? Because it's not yours. It's you're not let to harm your body. It's my body. It's not your body. My eyes are not my eyes. My o if you're helping your body to be healthy. So you're a personal trainer. It's important to know this. says it's like you give me it's like you give me your watch to hold. You give me your computer and I break it. It's not my goof. Nothing is mine. This doesn't make you a depressed person. This makes you a happy person. It actually makes you a realistic person. You actually start living in reality. Of course, you own nothing. And you know what? Then you become normal. You become freaking normal. Think about it. It's it's not the way we live because the nephew Bahamas wants control. No, I do own my house. I do own my life. I work very hard. We love being like that. We like to stay small and safe and in control. When we stay small, safe, in control, and miserable, but we're going to be in control. I'm going to be in control. Open up. Let it go. Crack open. And that's why nobody should ever have it. That's why pain is sometimes the greatest healer in life. What does pain teach us? It teaches us we're not in control. Nobody should have it. We should be able to get it through joy. That's going to be when Msiah comes, we'll be able to experience it through joy. But as long as we're in a gullis mentality, it's pain that cracks open the ego. It's when I'm not I don't have control. And real pain destroys the ego. It's like, yeah, what do you have now? What do you have to show now? Right? Sometimes your child is struggling and you realize I have no control. Your marriage is struggling. You're struggling mentally and you become so vulnerable. You're like, "What do I have? What do I have?" You know, loss, grief, mental illness, emotional challenges. And sometimes I said in my Shia Shab this morning, you know, there's some people there who were sexually sexually molested. So I said this I'm say all the sens with all the sensitivity and empathy everybody needs to have to themselves and others who have been hurt. Alterba also wants to give us a gift and say I want you to realize that everything you have been through. Yeah. With all the pain and and and criminals need to be need to be brought to justice. But with all the being you have to know that sometimes the greatest people who endured terrible terrible things. If they realize to have tremendous empathy on their pain, step two is they can allow themselves to experience the deepest bliss in life. Because the gift of having your ego cracked open is a gift of going from ani to ion. And the shift from ani to ion, it's the same letters. Ani is the shift from I to which is no thingness, not nothingness, no thingness. Shiflus is nothingness. Anova is no thingness. I'm not a thing. I'm which means I'm everything. I'm a channel. That shift is a priceless gift. This is not to condone or defend or or delegitimize people's crazy pain. On the contrary, it's understanding that all of this pain really, if I allow it to crack me open, rather than just become a a wretched victim and say I'm cursed, I become the greatest great literally the great one of the most powerful people in the world. And it has nothing to do with me. It's it's it's a it's a gift of God. So is the greatest. There's no k for like it's not easy. I somebody who's successful in life it's much harder. But if I give a that's why I say if I give a successful she I want to go home take it's my it's my company it's my money it's my work it's very easy to go there and it's a great temptation if I'm miserable and nothing is working out okay I have nothing to take when you have what to take credit for you want to take credit and that's why that's why talented people resourceful people wealthy people whether financially spiritually psychologically could become the most dangerous people in the world that's why leaders could be most dangerous because if a leader is not completely working on this. He's a dangerous guy cuz he has power and people are under his control and he could manipulate. Some of you know this very well. They become very d Sometimes they're dangerous. Sometimes they're just stupid. They just don't get it. So when you're in the position of Moshe, you need this much more than anybody else. You know, if you're just a regular guy, fine. It's good to be a none of but Mosha Anov is essential because without that, I'm not going to trust him. Why should I trust him? Because he's building an empire for his family. Actually, Mosha didn't build anything for his family because his kids His kids went their own way. By the way, when people gathered was upset about their children and this, you know, Mosha with his children, it wasn't Matl with his kids. Hashem didn't even appoint them as leaders. He said, "Yeshua, not your children." Aaron had all of his children. Aaron, I mean, two children died, but his other two children were like nas with Mosha was very very complicated. It wasn't so simple, right? And and and the Gomorrah says, "Why? How can it be Mosha the greatest person that he looked at his kids couldn't even learn Gamarra with him? Huh? Okay. But the Gmorra says because it it had to be a lesson that doesn't belong to a family. If Mosha's kids would get it, it would be like it doesn't belong to a family. So this is the I just want to finish the paragraph. M another two minutes. I know it's late. So the real sim is when you feel that gift, all you could say is I'm grateful. Wow. and a car too and a house too and money too. Yeah. Well, all you could say is I'm grateful. Says somebody who's self-conscious. Somebody who is feeling their mileas like I am this. It's very hard for them to be their is never perfect. It's never is neverless. It's never whole. You know why? Whatever I have, of course I have a house. I I worked for it. I earned it. Yeah. That's even if you get something. If you're missing something now, of course you sink into sadness. It works both ways. When I get something, what's the big deal? Of course. That's what talented people do. They get things. Thank you, genius. If you put in my work, you'll also get it. And if you take it away from me, of course I'm upset. Even worse, right? If I get it, I'm not grateful. And if I'm taking away, I'm really, really upset. Why you taking away my shirt from me? It's my shirt. You stealing. When somebody cultivates on what's again, it doesn't mean you don't know yourself. You know everything you have. You know all your mileas but you're in a state of you're in a state of flow because you're just a channel. You understand? And maybe somebody else with these would have done better you know how to celebrate. Whyever I have wow I get to drink coffee. You know how crazy that is? You know, imagine that the hostages, one of the hostages came out of Gaza and he's staring outside. He's looking at the heaven and he said all he wants to do for the next year or so is just stand outside and look at the sky. He said when you're in a tunnel for two years, all I want to do is look at the sky, right? I look up at the sky. Okay. Nice sky. We lose that sensitivity. I'm I'm breathing. I'm smelling. I'm seeing. I'm touching. Yeah. Okay. My finger is working. We we we we don't appreciate it. If I tell you here's a house for free. Oh wow, I'm so grateful. But this is much more as I said before. So what happens is nobody owes me anything. [laughter] Nobody owes me. Right? People don't like to hear this always, but this is the greatest recipe for life. Nobody owes me anything. I'm married. Wow. I have a wife. Wow. I have a child. Wow. I woke up in THE MORNING. WOW. WOW. THAT'S MAD. THAT'S CRAZY. EVERYTHING. What if I'm missing something? I don't right away sink into depression because I'm not busy like I deserve this. I deserve this. I deserve this. That I don't have things. I don't have things. That's true. WHATEVER I HAVE, THAT'S like startling. Where did that come from? Even internally, you have love. You have compassion. Somebody was telling me the other day, I was in front of this. Somebody was telling me they have issues with God because where's his love and where's his compassion? you know this story and that story and that story all these good questions about evil and suffering so I told this person I said you have a lot of love and compassion don't you said yeah so now I want to ask you a question where did you get this love and compassion from where this was this mindless cell that created itself and after 25 billion years it morphed into this love and compassion really love is a miracle where did you get it from the person tells me from Hashem so I'm like okay so so just relax okay as much love as you have in your heart and you have a lot of love in your heart. It's not a percent the percent the percent of the one who authored the concept of love. Love is a reality that was authored. It was created. I didn't create love. You created love. I created love. You created compassion. You created consciousness. You created awareness. Really? You created connection. Who created it? It came on its own. Love just popped out in the big bang by mistake. There's an author of love and the author of love is infinite. So, wow. There's a trickle of this love inside of me. Wow. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. So when I don't have something, of course we don't have things. Everybody's missing something. That's why we dive in. That's why we pray. That's why we work. We want. But it's a whole different approach. I'm missing it. It's a challenge. It's a struggle. Instead of looking at my life, everybody owes me everything. And now my kid is struggling. I'm struggling. This is struggling. I hate you. I'm angry at you. Whoa. You just really went out of your lane. Go back to the chickens. And it's interesting. I'm not feeding them. They go back to do what they want. It's not like we make because we're busy playing God. So the more a person cultivates this type of anova. What's anova? Anova is not that you feel that you're nothing. Anova is that you realize that it's a gift. So what happens is humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. Have a beautiful day. Thank you. [applause] Thank you so much. Thank you so much. >> Mother should be a good for the special day. >> Yeah. >> Your mother was a special woman. >> Thank you so much. I'm not here for Shabas but is Monday morning we'll continue the mimer Monday morning 8 a.m. This answer a question. >> Ah, my boy. >> I brought my father also. >> I saw the doctors. >> I had a question. So, >> good. >> Of course. We were >> He was the one reeling me back inund. >> Yeah, pretty much. >> Good to be back. >> Huh? [laughter] >> It's detours. You take detours, >> right? Then you find the way. You don't give up. There was I once heard from Abel Khan there was the previous labb the rebay he went to visit Israel in 1929. So there was uh somebody who came from and he was in yeshiva as a youngster. and he knew the Rebba many many years but he left Yiddish and he went to Israel became secular but he had this craving to go see the Reb but he was also embarrassed cuz you know without you know he was already it looked very different so he struggled back forth yet to go not go and if he could be upset at him anyway finally he uh he went in one of the events he went and the reb saw him and he went by him or and he said he said madr is Wow. [laughter] I have to tell you this quick story. >> Tell them in a second he summed it all up. >> When I in between I wasn't religious, right? When when I left here, I got divorced. Wasn't religious. I moved to an area in New Jersey. I thought there was no Jews. Shaw was morning. I was driving to the gym and I passed by on the side of the road. I drive in. I didn't know it was a fabad of upper state county men. I walk in there and they're dabbling shakers. So I start singing because you know >> Yeah. So the rabbi looks in the back and he says, "Come do mus." I said, "Me?" I was dressed in gym clothes. I don't I sit in front of everybody. I keep sure I drive him shabas. He says, "You're a sh and your voice is golden. That's what we need." So I dab mus after ding. He comes over. He says, "Could you come every shabas every Saturday for mus?" He said, "Again, me, there's so many better people." He says, "We'll make ding. We'll change the time so you can make it here." You know, so that's what was brought me back. >> Wow. >> It's amazing. Like it's the story you're just saying right now. I thought I moved away from everything. >> Wow. Yes. Got me. >> Exactly. >> Wow. >> Mendle Girkov. >> Yeah. You know his >> fathers in way. I know him. Mendle would come to the classes. Oh, very nice. Very nice. Very good. >> Very good. >> Just have some clarity. So I know you mentioned in the WhatsApp to me about having the sa like a true sa so my kids could see. >> So I was I was thinking in my head but this is a little bit of guidance because it's almost like I want to impress my kids so they should enjoy. >> Oh they'll know. They'll know if you're trying to impress them. They'll know right away. >> They'll know. >> I won't know but they will know. No, but what you're saying is it's not I'm happy. It's more that this >> Yeah. Yeah. When when when when parents are happy, children feel it right away. And when they're stressed, they know it right away. I could smile. It could go like this. >> They right if they feel everything. >> The ego is more saying I'm happy. They're going to see it. It's not that. It's more there's a >> It's calmness. Yeah. Yeah. When that I'm bringing out >> when we're calm in the house >> and it's authentic. It's not fake, >> right? >> And it it's sometimes deep work. We're not always calm. Sometimes we come into the house and we're overwhelmed. And that's It's part of it. It's part of life. >> But they feel it right away. They feel they'll You'll see they want to be close to their parents when they're calm. >> When parents are calm, the kids like like to hang out. When they're not, they go to their rooms. They feel it right away. >> Yeah. They want oxygen. It's very hard. >> About the chickens, you know, I'm a dog coach. So the clients that I see, the ones where the dogs are crazy, it's because the owners have the dogs have >> like what does he want? Does he this? Does this >> Yeah. The dogs go crazy. >> The people that are the dog knows. It's also with horses. The horse the horse knows the emotions of the person on the horse. >> If the horse feels that you're overwhelmed and you're scared, >> goes crazy. >> The horse goes crazy. If the horse feels that you know who you are, you're comfortable and you know your destination, the horse loves being a channel. It loves bittc. >> But if the horse is feels that you don't know you don't know who you are, it like has to be the master. It goes crazy. >> Yeah. It's it's unbelievable. Animals are just like they're they're just natural. They are who they are. >> They don't have to work on these things. Huh? >> If what? >> Your children don't disappoint you. That's already said, right? They were not >> created for you. Our children were not created for us. Yeah. >> I know. We don't know that. >> Pushes away the whole thing. >> It does. It does. We're we're we're me from a different place. >> We're Mak has a gift. Hashem has given me diamonds >> to take care of and I want to try to take care of them. I don't own these diamonds and these diamonds weren't created so that I should look rich. They're not even mine. It's a very different sensitivity when children realize that when parents realize they don't own their children, they could parent much better. >> Now, if your teenager is in a bad mood, you know, teenagers get into a bad mood. That's part of the mitzvah. Like if I'm personal, it's like you like if it's not personal, just be here. I want to be here for you. I'm fine. I'm fine. If I need my kid to give me nakas. So now if my kid is not giving me nakas, I'm angry at him. I can't be the father anymore because I'm trying to gain from them. I'm actually the child and they're the parent. Stop. You're not the child. You're the parent. I once said in means respect your fatherhood and your motherhood. Respect yourself as a father. Respect the father inside of you. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a father. I know I feel like a kid, but I'm a father. Be a father. Be a man. Your kid said something obnoxious. Okay, they're going through something. Don't respond from a place of obnoxiousness and ooh you respond from a place of leadership. What does this child need now? >> You understand what I'm saying? It's not doesn't take away from it gives more. It's from from a place of presence, from a place of how can I be here for you rather than how can I defend myself and make sure you don't say something that makes me feel inadequate. Don't say that. Don't say that in my house. In my house, you don't speak like that, >> right? You understand? >> I'm writing a book called How to Raise Healthy Parents. >> Very good. gave a class >> how to raise healthy parents. Nice. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I think it was given said he gave a whole speech on how to become >> Yeah. Go back to the question. >> Yeah. to know in with this kind of how to be mechanical. >> This is what we're trying to learn the whole time. I mean, yeah, I get it. >> Was the first gave me an answer to that. Why was >> Could you just put away the mime? We'll use it Monday.