Maamar Chayei Sarah 5712 #1: What Is Bliss? Feeling in My Body That Hashem Is Celebrating Me

Good morning everybody. Welcome. We're going to begin a new mime today. We're good. Yeah. >> Okay. First of all, I want to thank Rab Kaplan for the copies, the beautiful copies. As always, we're beginning a new mimer to Yud B. Today's class is dedicated by our dear friend Ari Katz who sometimes attends also physically in honor of his aasel Dr. Shahi Sperling Shulamafa Batim a constant source of light and wisdom and inspiration to him and to the entire family. May this year pv be a year of positive vibes. pave of positive vibes for all of us. Amen. Wow. And may these positive vibes inspire us to share our inherent light with the world and partner with Hashem and bringing the gula and mashia speedily in our days. [snorts] Amen. Amen. What a beautiful dedication also dedicated by the same in honor of the engagement of my son Schneer Zman Jacobson to Batya Zagwi. May they build a bay a home filled with love, faith and divine light. Thank you very very much Shabbari and same to you with all the blessings materially and spiritually and to your wife and entire family and we appreciate the partnership and positive vibes to all of us that's a very nice blessing pav positive vibes okay so this mime is a mime that was said by the on as you see in the headline B that's 1952 and it begins on the opening apost of this week's para which is it quotes a zar a long zar which is a cababalistic commentary on these so you read it it's interesting but it's extremely mystical and you see that there's something we're not getting here and that's where the mimemer comes really to explain You could call this mime the mime that deals with the path to joy. What does joy mean and what's the path to joy? Something everybody can probably use a little bit of some positive vibes or a lot of positive vibes. Okay. The Torah begins and the life of Sara consisted of 100 years, 20 years and seven years. These are the years of the life of Sara. So the zy in this week's para as he says in footnote two is like like right you have etc. So asked a question Gavald question. The only woman the only woman in the Tanak whose number of years is mentioned is Sarah. You know that very interesting. Yeah. We don't know how long Kava lived. We don't know how long Noak's wife lived. We don't know how long Rifka. There are traditions in ter there are different traditions and you could figure things out sometimes but there's no spec there's no specification of the lifespan of any single woman any woman outside of s it's interesting not all men either doesn't say how long it says it says right but not everybody I mean right says clearly you have you have you have you have those that the says plenty It doesn't say for example theatim doesn't say you know most of them not I mean it says but it doesn't say on the other ones but with women the only one is I'm saying this as an introduction because the is going to get into this why is s unique that her death is mentioned ines in Aramaic is from all the women in the world that their death is not discussed in doesn't say died anywhere says not why is her death becomes a story in from all the women in the world responded to the one who's asked this question it's not true it's not the only woman if you go to parish it says that Raul died after child birth she gave birth to be and she died. Don't say sur is the only story of a woman's death in the That's not true. There's other there's other situations. It's true. It doesn't say everybody. It doesn't say every woman that we would expect. It doesn't say for example Rifka clearly that she passed away. It doesn't say clearly Leia passed away, right? But does saying you have some others, some other examples. For example, you know another example, >> huh? Right? And one more example. This this is a hard one [snorts] [laughter] and par of Yehuda is married right as Yehuda and that's when Yehuda went to share his sheep and he met his daughter. He went he met Tamra and he went to Tar. So don't say it's the only woman whose whose death death is described. It's not true. There's another other examples. That's why he says there's another few examples. You didn't understand the question. He didn't mean death. There's a death of other women but never how long they lived for whatever reason with men you do have it lived 175 years lived 180 years Jakob lived 147 years etc lived 930 years you have plenty of that but with women the only one is s so it says died doesn't say how old she was that's what he says they did not they do not count the years and the day the days and the years furthermore more another point because then you can ask still something is wrong. So why does he ask the question so strangely right? What you're ambiguous in your question and then I ask you I refuted that I didn't mean that thank you. So he says, I'll explain to you. I'm just showing to you that it's not furthermore. Nobody gets a special para. The story is absorbed in the sequence. For example, Jacob is coming back to she gives birth to and then there's a about her death and her burial. And the same is true all the others. When it comes to S, it's para. The whole para begins. It's like it's dedicated to the life of Sah to the death of Sah to the burial of Sah. That's what he says. There's a whole par a self-contained exclusive par for Sah that's unique. So first of all her her lifespan is mentioned. Furthermore there's a whole para about it. It's not just somewhere tucked in as part of another story. That's what he meant. Why is Sor the woman who gets this type of para? Not only that we know that the whole name of the par is you see that the par is dedicated to the life of sah and the death of s that's how it starts and the whole he is connected to that of negotiating the ca etc. This is the question. So that means something epis first of all why other women not and second of all why sorry yet right two questions why them not and her yet continues to understand all of this you have to know what happened with oh came to the world is and somehow she became connected with the snake is the snake the snake became connected zu and he injected zu into her. Zu is toxicity toxic something toxic he put into her and this caused death to the world and to her husband and to herself. Then comes to the world. Of course, sometime later, 10 generations later, what happens with him? He drinks from the wine. He gets drunk and he becomes exposed in his tent. So that's stage two. And then S comes also comes generations later. She goes down. She goes down into the same places that went down. But she comes up and the snake does not manage to uh hijack her intimately. There's no between this like it says in and his wife and everything belong them. They made it back up from Egypt. They didn't just go down. They made it back up. And because the snake did not become attached to like it did. So because of this merited a higher life means a higher life, a superaler life means higher. In other words, there was certain quality that she got in her life because of what this happened for her and her husband. And that's why the dedicates a parish to say it's not just a life there was the life of that she was all of these years because they had a different quality you don't have it with other women for example this was the life of this was the life of another woman there was something about because of what she went through he She connected to life rather than the snake. And thus hers is called life. Hers is called life. This is the that's the question and an answer. Somehow the answer gets into and the answer is that's why there's a par especially for her and that's why you have the n the the details of how long she lived the days and the years because it was a certain type of life. should truly live life. Yeah. As we say to the fullest. This is the quote. This is more or less the quote of the quote. This needs understanding. The asked a question. Why was Sah distinguished from all the other women in the world? By men. There's no question because you see this language by men. It says how long lived and lived and lived. You have this language. The L question is by So how does now come in here? You're talking about women versus women, not women versus men. Women versus men when women itself sus. So now you start telling me there's a with no where does come in here? Who's talking about? If you want to contrast I understand but something something is happening. So when you read this, how do you have to understand one theme going on here? There were three stages. There was something that happened with where things were. The skull means they became they got ruined and then there's something that happened not with and then there was a potential for something to happen with S and she fixed she repaired but but fine that's what it seems like that there's a theme developing what what does this all what does all of this mean there's one more question and that is the the redundancy. It says the last three words are truly truly unnecessary. They're superfluous. It looks like mameish or redundancy. You already said the life of Sara was 100 years, 20 years, and seven years. These are the years of the life of Sar. Yeah, you just said that. What what's clear for what said furthermore what is even more mis not understood explained and different here he goes into a it goes into a till end of this of this paragraph. It's a little complicated because he gets into all the cababalistic ideas of what 100 years is, 20 years and seven years. I don't want you to get confused from the sequence. There's a sequence here and he's going to get back to the sequence to get back to the theme. But just I'm going to go through this a little fast, but he's going to go through now the details of 100 years, seven, 20 years and seven years. [snorts] It says that the these years it's every time it says sh right, which is also strange. should have said mayor of 127 years. You don't say the person lived 100 years, 20 years and seven years 127 years. It's one it's one life. It's not three different people. So this explains that this represents that it's not st she lived 127 years. It represents that she worked through what's called 100 what's called 20 and what's called seven. She worked it through. She lived 100. There's 100 years. There's 20 years. There's seven years. This is by way of introduction that the main the main work of which is separating the good from the toxic is always done through the matriarchs and that's why it says by and she's the first one of the four mothers. So that means she's the prototype. Hashem tells whatever s tells you you should listen to her. What's why this is the garra says that the hashem gave them in this world a foretaste of the next world of hab in other words they were living in a msiach or redemptive consciousness even in this world in haza they had a tom of haba that's what as he says in footnote of about Mashiach's times the says the women the feminine is going to encompass the masculine is going to be superior to the masculine since the is already lived so whatever Sah tells you you listen to her because that's going to be [laughter] >> get ready get readyh >> only for the first Huh? [laughter] So, so told a already by Ara, this was felt that the feminine needs to guide the masculine. Usually in a gull state, it's not that way. But in in gula state becomes revealed the true depth and energy of the feminine. So tells whatever tells you you should do. So because the main is done through the and is the first one. So you see already by S that she had to work through all this the 100 the 20 and the seven which refers to all of the various Madre's various stages of consciousness and he explains the name explains represents what's the crown it's going to get a little intricate here and confusing but don't get too confused. We'll just go through it. Whatever you understand, you understand. It's fine. Represents which is the crown above the 10 spheres. And generally in spiritual language, this represents the beginning of the revelation of means the essence of Hashem himself. The beginning of the revelation of light so to speak outside of light is emanation. All light light represents transmission. What does light mean? Light the essence of light is that we allows us to see something. In other words, it allows us to experience something else. So the beginning of Hashem allowing himself to be perceived to be experienced. That's the beginning of light. Even on the highest highest highest levels, the experience of something, the transmission of an reality into another reality that's called light, right? How do you define light? >> Huh? >> Okay. It's it's it's the transmitter. It's the transmitter. Yeah. So that's the first gill. The first gill is called inab when it comes to numbers may you have hundreds you have tens you have singles you have 1 to 10 you have 10 to 100 and you have 100 to a thousand so may generally connected to he says even though sometimes that sometimes thousand or 10,000 it refers to So he goes in that in itself you have to know there's two things this the way it is visav itself the way there's the way it becomes a crown a source for all of the emanated realities which is known as versus iser in it visav itself we learned about it on shabas is already the way it's a source and this is 100 why 100 is 10 encompassing ing 10 each one in 10 * 10 is 100. So that means you have here the it's not just 10 it's each one encompassing all of them and as a result of that it's 10 time 10. So the first one is not just one but it encompasses all 10 right so you'll have for example and then you have the part of and the part of the part of like we have in you have right so it's the full structure of it's not just one dimension so it's not only 10 it's full it's 100 it's completely holistic parts of generally this is called cassid not the way it's only which is a seminal point or even a sphere which is more developed but it's a part of a part of is a full holistic structure that each one has all of them and you have 100 so it says sh in singular later it says shim in plural is generally the intermediary, the bridge, the between the emanator and those that are emanated. And any whenever you want to be an arbitrator, whenever you want to be an intermediary, you must have both sides. You have to have the dimension. like a translator needs to know fluently the language which he's listening to and needs to know fluently the language I want to translate it to because if one is missing I can't be a loyal bridge that connects I can arbitrate it you know if I'm taking this side if I'm taking that side I really have to be able to hold the paradox of the two perspectives and then I can hopefully serve as a mammuda as an intermediary that can bring them together so he says kess is a mammuda and mammut needs both so it has the lowest part of the el and the highest highest part of the lowest part of the higher reality and the highest part of the lower reality. And it brings them together. So therefore because has in its lowest level so it's called sha there's an element of year means there's some element of time which is already more finitness nonetheless it's still what senses singularity oneness and that's That's why is so that's why it's 20. So you have and you have so it's not 10 time 10 which is 100 ker includes everything is two qualities of cognition and bina each one has 10. So 10 and 10. So you have 20. This is already not this is the next level which is comprehension. And once it's comprehension there's already more yesesh more ego more identity outside of infinity. It's still which is singular because is the beginning of the where there's some form of comprehension and the creation of comes from the essence itself because only he could create. So therefore you still have which is singularity. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then you have seven. This is the is through this the worlds function and run. Remember your compassion and kindness because they are here forever. But the is a deeper touch. This is the quality that allows the world to function. Since the way the world functions is through diversity, the med says if there would have been only then sin would be abundant. If you have only the world can't exist. So you need to have diversity. You need to connect them. So you have may represents represents represents the seven. So when you talk about life, you're talking about a life on all of these different levels. S needed to work through the main of life came through S. That's the big kesh here. And that's why Abra needed to listen to Sara just like it will be re revealed for everybody in the gul. So by her life you have that she worked through reality on the level of reality on a level of reality on a level of which brings us back even more to the question. So if you understand what may mean, what are you now adding? It seems like you're adding even something deeper and higher that was missing in the once we explain what this means on a deeper spiritual level. What's the end? Yeah. Something even added to all of that. So how do we summarize chapter one if you have to summarize it? He quotes a long zoyar about why Sarah's life and death is distinguished from all other women in the Tanakh. We are both her lifespan is articulated how long she lived and also she gets her own para. The Zoya gets into a story with Kava and Noyak who tried to do something but it didn't work out. Somehow the snake got a hold of them and then S goes down but she comes back up and because of that her quality of life is different. And then this is then the reb wants to know what's the connection between kava and no and s and how does this answer the question of why s's lifespan is discussed and why she gets her own para and he starts discussing how and and then and then he asks why it says at the end and then he further asks the main beer is through the and especially through and we see it in the years and mid and yet after that all What does that add? To understand all of this, we need to change the subject. We're not really changing the subject, but we're going to go off, so to speak, and we need to be we need to introduce first of what says serve Hashem with joy. The M is going to now develop a theme that really already from the beginning was trying to bring joy into the world. That's what she was trying to do and Noyak was also trying to bring joy into the world. And then Sah was also trying to bring joy into the world. That's why it's not stop me. He called supposed to give to Hashem. He could have quoted another another thousand because the whole here is going to be what sim is and how they try to do it. So he says we say it in the morning, right? Meaning you're not just serving Hashem. You could say that's good enough. Serve Hashem. No, you could be a servant without joy. So the P is saying serve with joy. It's not just it's another point which is a good thing. It's from the fundamentals of a sometimes you have something it's good it's important but here we see that it's from the meaning it's from the most primary elements of a says because you did not serve your god with joy and gladness of heart you'll serve your enemies The here is very intense. He doesn't say you didn't serve God. You served which means you may have served and served but I ultimately end up by my enemy. My enemy can hijack me, can abduct me so to speak emotionally, whatever that means in a person's life. Why? Because not the V was missing but the sim was missing. >> This means it's an ingredient that is essential, indispensable. >> Key ingredient. Yes. Yeah. But this doesn't make sense. This is a big question. You're saying that may be perfect. What was missing is joy. Okay. So you could say something is missing. So you don't get the same level of reward, the same result, the same consequence I get. But why you going to end up serving your enemy? Why so negative? You're missing something. Why does it disqualify and turn it almost into a negative thing? So what do we see from here that without the whole can be distorted like sometimes you have an ingredient in the food okay if you would have had this ingredient the food would have been much better you don't have this ingredient so the value goes down but not that it's now suddenly no without this ingredient the thing is almost becomes like detrimental it's like something something negative happened. What's what's what's in that? It's like the whole thing was disqualified. The whole thing was ruined. That's the consequence he's talking about. But the question is why? That means that is not a it's defining what a hashem means. You understand? It's not an ingredient that you add to the choland, you add to the salad, you add to the fish. If you don't have it, okay, no, that defines it. Without that, it's hol it says in the writing all the meaning all the spiritual states of conscious was considered the greatest of the great. So it says he said himself it came because of his because he was happy the happiness that he had. So what do we see from this? The Dariz was considered like the you know the greatest in history and he changed the whole landscape of Kab and he said himself that he was to everything. Why? because of sim. So you see here that the of sim is not just an ingredient but it's complet it's essential and indispensable to explain this. [snorts] The medish famously says that the purpose why did Hashem create the world? The purpose the purpose the intention is desired to have was he wanted to have a home in the lowest elements of reality means in the lowest dimensions of reality. He wanted to have a he wanted to have a home over there, a dwelling place. This is the med says like he says in 20 discusses this at length. What does the word mean? Da means a home, a residence. A home represents a place where you're comfortable as you are in your essence. Every person shows up in different places, right? You go to shul, you're in shul now. You go to your office, you go to work, you go to the airport, you go to different places. And every place you come there with a certain position, with a certain uniform, so to speak. I don't know a physical uniform. What's the definition of a home? A a healthy home. What's the definition of a home? You are as you are in in your full essence. Huh? Yeah. Yeah. When a child is comfortable in a home, what does it mean? the child can be as is as they are in their essence without I don't have to adjust I don't have to accommodate man I saw was an educator saying that sometimes your child comes home from school and [snorts] they completely lose it at home they completely lose it they like momish lose it and you call the principal the teacher their behavior in school was impeccable so mommy and Tati thinks that they are the nebak the worst parents in the world somehow when they see your face, they fall apart. And the person explained that sometimes the exact opposite. In school, they knew they have to keep it together. They knew they have to keep it together. So every amount of their energy, these poor kids, every ounce of their energy was invested in be normal. You remember those days? You had to be normal. Be normal. Be be respectful. Sit in one place. Of course, I can't get adults to do it for three minutes. They're doing it for nine hours. What's the first thing they do when they come home? They don't have to keep it together anymore. So now the parents now they have to discipline them. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU SPEAK AT HOME. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU ACT AT HOME. That's not always what they need. What they need is just be present and enjoy, connect, create that safety. I know it's not a rule in every situation, but it's just an important thing to reflect on because sometimes people's response is coming from their own insecurity or their own ego or their own anxiety rather than really tuning in to what the child needs most. Like don't get so spoiled, don't get overwhelmed. The kid came home, it was a long long day of trying to perform and f finally he could just be. So create a safe space, create a safe container. It's a compliment to the parents. It's not an insult to the parents, but I'm trying to bring out the nud that what a dear what a real home is. They say home is the only space where you don't need an excuse why you're there. Yeah. If you show up somewhere in somebody's office, you come to somebody's mitzvah, why you're here, right? I come home. If my wife asks me, what are you doing here? [laughter] Right? You don't need an excuse. Why'd you COME HOME? WHERE SHOULD I be? Fak home is home sweet home. Home is the place where you want to be. That's where you are. That's where you're naturally. Hopefully people can feel that when they come home. People don't always feel that. They come to schul. [laughter] They sometimes come to schul because of nobody bothers them. But in ideal home is the place that's the place. You don't need a reason for it. It's not accommodating. Why are you showing up to work today? There's nothing to do. You didn't come home to do something. You came home to be. That's where you are. What does this mean in Isis of that aid is the place where your atimos is present not a uniform not a vocation not a talent not a skill your essential essential intimate self. So when you say the not that there should just be a revelation means he says the essence in other words the deepest deepest reality means the medish uses the word says what does mean that's what a is even in it's that way right in terms of It says you're not allowed to see a melik when he's naked goes to the mikvah. Nobody's supposed to be there because it it it takes away from the melik in a person's they could be that way. I'm not talking is wear and wet on one. But the point is I don't put you don't sit with hopefully you don't sleep with your tie and with your uniform, right? At least I try to take off my tie before I go to sleep. The point of ad is arum arum naked. We're not only talking about physically, emotionally. When people have to act in their house, it's torture. When you have to be an actor in your home, it's torture. It's very, very hard because that's the one place you don't want to act. So, Hashem says, "I don't want to have to put up an act in this world." [laughter] means the complete essence and that's why because and are always connected. Why? You know why? Huh? Whenever you're present somewhere fully in essence, it's with full regulation. It's flow. It's presence. That's what presence means. What does sim mean? Full presence. Your essence is here. When there's anxiety, my essence can't be here. I'll show up. I'll force myself. I'll do what I have to do. I'll do what I have to do. All those words, I'll do what I have to do means there's no essence. It's a beautiful thing. You're showing up. You're doing the right thing. But whenever there's a stress, there's there's like you have to, you have to, you have to, you have to, it makes sense. And sometimes that's what I have. If I'm going to wait, you know, for every for my atsma to be there, you know, sometimes I have to wait a long time. You got to do what you got to do, be a man and show up and do it. Nobody's asked you, what do they say? Nobody cares about your feelings or at least on some level I can't wait till I always have a feeling for everything. But that's not that's not >> atmospher very very happy which might be more than your regulated self mean >> very good >> what you mean the baseline >> yeah it's being it's it's being regulated in your in your inner core is present so there's a regulation >> so when you particularly that might not be as much it's >> yeah we'll soon see what what that's the whole story here how do you reach those places had her perspective no had his perspective and then s had her perspective because it's not so simp how do you reach that space right people would give all the money in the world to have live a life of regulation all the healing in the world is for this right all the healing in the world is how do I reach this this space of of of coherence of calmness of of regulation to be in that equilibrium. Huh? What do you say to Bab? >> Who's Sor, >> right? It's interesting. It's hard to know from the itself like the internal personality dynamics, you know, it's so it's so ambiguous. It's not so clear. Okay. So, let's see. Accessing in yourself and in Hashem, which is always connected, is not through comprehension. That's through intellectualism by understanding you. It's an important element. Understanding comprehension. Understanding comprehension allows one to grasp what can be grasped through the tools of comprehension through cognitive tools. But to touch the core which is to touch the essence this is from the person in that space of calmness regulation and internal joy >> without understanding. >> Yeah it's not without understanding. It's that understanding does not do that trick >> understanding. >> Yeah. It's beyond understanding. It's a relationship. It's like a secret relationship where it's just presence. Presence itself. >> Isness. Yeah. Isness and calmness. Example for example being which is the main in there's two separate I know separate but two I added the word separate which was a mistake you have one is is his bayness is meditation, contemplation, understanding, comprehension, tuning into the reality, the frequency of godliness which is a m which is itself is a very very deep avoid. It's going out of the shang of kipa of shells of husks of blockages of coverups and trying to appreciate with my mind the truth of godliness the truth of the soul of the world. But then there's the of the bliss, the ecstasy, the joy. are only a vessel. They're the containers for the main thing. What's the main the connection is the it's the bliss. It's the celebration. It's the it's it's the the intimate enjoyment of the connection. Of course, you need a you need a vessel. You need a container. If there's completely you need to be initiated, the relationship begins from appreciation, appreciation, understanding, but that's still an intellectual experience which is which is a beautiful thing. That's not where you connect to someone's essence. Yeah. Just like in relationships with three people, somebody understanding somebody else is the kay for sure. That if you don't understand me, like I can't if we don't understand each other, we can't really connect. So is a lot. It's attentiveness. It's sensitivity. It's tuning in. It's the freedom to speak to express yourself. It's knowing yourself and sharing that with somebody. But that's the that's the kali. That's the container that begins a relationship. And it's a very very deep experience. But that's still everybody is living in their own world. They're living in their own mind. We're sharing minds. You know this synchronicity between the computers. The AIs are are are connecting. They're sharing information. But it's still in a level where I didn't touch the essence. Not my essence and not your essence. And then there's a space where you say there's bliss here. It's presence. It's full full the essence. The essence connects. And that's not something you can articulate because I understood. But what did you understand now? What happened? It's it already graduated that your is furthermore. Even though furthermore even though may come together when you really understand something and comprehend it you feel close to it and you start celebrating it but still you have to know there's a huge difference here in the theme and in the in the source of comprehension never grasps essence because as high as it is our down here is completely not comparable to the to the intellect to the awareness that way it's above like everything in our world you can't compare it to explains in the name of the mag this is who tells I am but afar dust and ashes. Afar is like dust or earth or soil a for ashes. What's so what's what what's why why are you calling yourself that? So the mag of miz explains explains this was saying something ashes let's say you burn something you have a log the log we all know what a log looks like you put it into the fire and an hour later or 5 hours later what's left are ashes all those ashes came from the log they weren't created you didn't bring in another ingredient the log was reduced to ashes so essentially if you trace back the ashes to the original source what are you going to find a log But could you compare the form of the log and the form of the ashes? So says like this his whole personality his but his relationship to is like the relationship of ashes [laughter] to the to the original. He understood how deep the quantum leap is between the way it is in divine energy and the way it's manifested in the human corporal body. This is important to appreciate when you want to when you want to overcome a leap, you have to understand how deep the leap is. You understand? If you want to jump over it and you don't understand how great the barrier is, how great the gulf is, you can't really jump over it because you're not you're not you're not you're not in touch with what we're talking about. You don't have the humility to be able to bridge from the finite to the infinite. You first have to understand the distance between the finite and the infinite >> and you have to surrender to that because that's the surrender that allows you maybe to bridge it. So says Certainly somebody that means even the greatest it's still the way this awareness is in the source. Sometimes people they really do a lot of work and they experience tremendous levels of awareness, right? Some of you may have even experienced certain profound levels of awareness. But you have to understand and at that moment when you have that awareness like you think you know everything [laughter] because you're so beyond what you knew your whole life and you're like, "Oh my god, wow." Anybody knows what I'm talking about? You don't have to all raise your hand. >> Huh? >> Every day. Okay. Wow. [snorts] And it's like and suddenly after 40 years or 30 years or 20 years or 50 years in absolute darkness, you were like a chicken and egg. Imagine you grew up in an egg and you decided that the egg is all of reality. Okay? [laughter] And you build a philosophy around that. You even make money. You even make money to prove it. But really, you're in the egg. And your whole life is that egg. And it's not your fault. Like how are you supposed to know anything else? You were born. You were molded in the egg. You were crafted in the egg. You were raised in the egg. You got your PhD in the egg. Everything you know is in the egg. All you experience are in the egg. And then one day there's a little crack and you look out and you see the sun. [gasps] Wow. But what happened to that moment? You think you know all of reality. You just went into a bigger egg. [laughter] You just went into another egg. SO FROM YOUR SMALL EGG, you went into a big egg. Don't get so arrogant on us. Just like for 50 years, you were in one egg. So now the next 50 years, you're in a bigger egg. You're not IN A CHICKEN'S EGG, you're in an eagle's egg. So it's an egg. You're in a ostrich. You know those an ostrich egg. So it's an egg like this. Shine. So you have a little more vision. So now you're walking around. I'm the Mr. Sophisticated, brilliant spiritual giant in the world cuz my egg is not like this. My egg is another few inches. But that's really what life is. Au is the first one who understood. He says entire experience was flow. But still he called his flow ashes relative to the original. Cuz only when you appreciate the gap, the quantum leap can you then begin to surrender and allow yourself to know how much you don't know. And then perhaps there's sometimes a trickle, sometimes a little revelation. So that's the here. When you talk about which is the chain of the our awareness down here from the awareness up there it's not just it's 5% it's 10% it goes through a transformation of essence just like the log into the ashes it's not you you look at ashes you don't see a log I'm sorry even though it comes from that log uh >> chemically >> and chemically of course that's what we mean on the chemical compounds it's it's a transformation >> it's a A real transformation. >> A real transformation. >> Right. Yeah. >> Yeah. It's not like you took a log and you cut it up into small pieces. So instead of having a huge impressive log now you have a little splinter. That's still the same mus. The splinter is the same. Right? You study it and you're studying a log. It's just smaller. That's not what we're talking about. The stulus is not just it's less. It's 1% instead of 100%. From a million dollars I gave you $5. But $5 or something. In fact, $5 many, many, many times is a million dollars. That's not what we're talking about. That's the >> complete transformation. That's what you have to understand about. It's not here to denigrate. This is what elevated the evolution of his from divine is goes through a chemical essential transformation of but you can understand that even with the level of certainly the person who's dominating whoever that person is. So Havana is galdic. You understand you comprehend. We're talking about real comprehension. We're not talking here fiction. The person is really really open to deep spiritual awareness. And there are people who are open to deep spiritual awareness. Every mimer is infinite spiritual awareness. That's what it is, right? And the more you do the inner work, Yeah. you see that every mimer, you know, is is that it's that frequency. It's the frequency of truth. is the frequency of the the alus inside all the clippers and the havana could continue to grow and there's more awareness and more appreciation but you also have to know its limit and the limit is it cannot grasp atmos what's atmos atmos is the core presence of reality it's a very humbling thought because AI wants to replace atmos but it can't and sometimes we become AI in our own world and we want to replace that but you There's there's there's a limit. It's it's a beautiful tool, but it's a tool. And a tool can't experience reality. A tool is an instrument to serve reality. You can't live reality through tools. And that's the challenge of living your life through the mind. I tried doing it. It doesn't work. Doesn't work. Just like you can't eat cake with your brain. You can't. Somebody's a delicious piece of cake. Eat it with your brain. And it doesn't work. You eat cake with your taste buds or you don't eat cake. Even better. >> Yeah. Yeah. With cake, it's much better not to eat it. You can't live life with your brain. You You're touching You're touching outer layers of reality. It's it's a beautiful tool. It's an incredible tool. It's an important tool. In fact, it's a tool that creates connection, understanding, appreciation. But it's not where the the the atmos the essence emerges presence. So how how does how does how so where do I get your atmospher Uh but then there is the bliss of the sim of and what happens there that captures that reveals the tuk shalom his tanuk his bliss your bliss uh triggers it arouses his bliss his tuka my saga grasps whatever it could grasp according to the forms of my cognitive experience It's in the where everything comes together where you're where so it's not the fin. So it's not words anymore. It's not like I'll explain it to you and therefore you you understand the preciousness of what the Reb is teaching us here. I mean you understand this is everything right? We teach and teach and teach and teach. People go through yeshiva and they go through classes and there's words and words and words and words. I remember one morning my wife I says why do you talk so much? What do you talk about for hours and hours and hours? Stop talking. I didn't listen [snorts] is where comes [laughter] right. So I don't >> it's it's it's experiential. That's it's experiential. Experiencing the presence of God has nothing. It's not about understanding. Understanding is a kayali. It's the beginning. It's it so people could speak and talk and explain and explain and more madas and deeper and it some of it is beautiful. It's not it's not like it's and it's also it could be so somebody hacking a chic >> it's necessary >> and it's necessary because sometimes that's the that's the that's the gate to come in to bring somebody in byproducts of connection. >> So he's saying even if the two come together never never think they're the same thing. They're completely different and the shish is completely different. This is an experiential sense that you feel viscerally in your body in your nervous system in which you're experiencing God. What does it mean experiencing God? What what what it not the word God and not the word God and not the concept God and not the union of God. And that's why words really don't capture it because words always make definitions and we're not not talking about that. >> Yeah. performance in the middle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we sometimes do it sometimes when we're self-conscious. We do like what just happened? Why am I enjoying you? Should I enjoy you? And and we do have a sniper inside of us, the intellectual guy. He's a critic. And he always loves explanations like what just happened? Oh, it's not real. It also loves say that it's not real. [laughter] Are you just desperate to be happy? So you decided that God loves you. Shine. Okay. Let's ruin it because it's very anxious from experience. Cuz experience that's where it loses the plot. As long as it can contextualize it intellectually. So there's always another argument. [laughter] It's in control. It loves being in control. Small, safe, and in control. And the intellect loves control. So if I can explain what just happened. you're desperate. Uh you know, somebody put something into your coffee, whatever. All all the good explanations. And the truth is there is a lot of fantasy cuz people are desperate. But it still doesn't take away from the truth that when there's a pleasure in you, a bliss in you that triggers God's bliss and the two meet, it's almost like like it just clicked. It's a presence in which everything comes together. in which you know your value not from a place of ego and not from a place of intellect but just from a place of an internal internal infinite space of bliss. I can't say too much more cuz cuz I don't really know what I'm talking about. Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about. >> That was the pleasure when it comes to just connected connection. >> Yeah. Doesn't matter if it's pleasure [clears throat] connected. >> Yeah. So, it's the way he describes it here is tyog. I think what tinug means it's like an internal sense of bliss. Maybe, you know, we sometimes could see it. You know, you watch that two-month old baby in the hands of its mother and the mother is regulated, which is also a miracle. And the baby is regulated and the babies and their eyes meet right and there's a certain sense of what's the qu what's the message the child is getting not intellectually but through presence. What's the message? The message is >> you're safe. You're a gift. Your presence is a gift. You could relax. You can calm down. You're not here for transactional purposes. You're not here to give me nas. Your value is not that I have a child that I could walk around with. Your value is not that you're going to grow up to be this type of person. What is your value? I don't have a definition for it. Your value is essential. It's infinite. >> Huh? >> Invaluable. >> Yeah. Invaluable. It's it's and it's not with a price and it's not transactional. It's not because you're going to give me nas or because you're going to be a good boy, you're going to be a good girl. And also I don't want to be anywhere in the world besides right here right now. I'm not anxious. I don't have to I don't need my phone. Now we don't have that. Very few of us have that. We we do not a lot of we don't even some of us don't even know what that means. And it's not anybody's fault. It's just long long gulus with a lot a lot of trauma and pain and everybody running away to distract themselves. And the children feel it more than anybody because they're open. Their nervous system is waiting for this. And when it doesn't get it, because mommy is anxious, Tati is anxious, everybody's anxious. So that means there's something wrong with me. I'm causing mommy anxiety. Wow, I must be a really really really loaded child. I'm probably too needy. This is this is not a game. This is what the one-year-old decides. My emotions are probably too burdensome. So what do we do? We close down. We close down our heart. Let me not be too emotional. I'll just be a good kid. I'll do well in school and mommy will be happy with me. And then we do that to our kids. Huh? >> Maybe for you it's not bad, which is beautiful. Some of us have suffered a lot from this. Some of us have suffered a lot from this. They don't know what presence means. We don't know. A lot of us don't know what presence means. It's not anybody's fault. If I never got that memo, not an intellectual memo, an experiential memo in my bones and nervous system of the infinite infinite bliss in you in presence. God says, "I want you." You're like, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." And I could feel it. What does that look like? That's not transactional. It's not transactional. It's not so I'll give you scar. So if you do this, you'll get it's without pill and it's very internal. >> And you can't force it. You can't control it. You also can't fake it. You You could fake it. You can't. Everybody knows you can't fake this. Either it's Yeah. or it's not. You can't fake it. >> Yeah. I can eat a piece of chocolate mousse cake. I can have a nice ice cream. I could watch a nice clip on my phone that's very funny and it feels good for 3 seconds, but it's not this. It's not this. You can watch a hilarious clip of Rabbi Wi or some other great guy, right? President Trump, whoever is entertaining these days. You laugh. It's Gishmak. You send it off to your family chat and then you send it off to another six chats so everybody can get three seconds of distraction because they're all miserable and you know that. So 3:00 in the afternoon it's a big to put on your family chat a good clip but and it's fine. It's I'm not complaining. I also enjoy we all enjoy it but it's not this >> but it is a of it because when you're happy you feel a bit of a lack >> Yeah. It's it's it's it's a good thing. Yeah. It's not this. >> Obama is great. >> You cannot huh >> was great because he never voted. Yes or no? He always relationships happen. Relationships don't happen through understanding. Of course, if I don't understand my spouse and my spouse doesn't understand me or I don't understand my best friend, my then you're not going to connect. Of course, Havana is the way that humans connect to each other because we have minds and I have to feel safe. I have to feel trusted. But just like that one-mon old child, a one-year-old child, they don't need mathematical explanations from the mother. They don't, your child doesn't need mother say, you know, you know what? You know why I like you? Because bal you're so cute. I mean, we do that. You're so cute [laughter] and your cheeks remind me of my grandmother's cheeks and your forehead [snorts] is shining and you have the cutest cutest nose in the world even though it's a little smashed. So because of this I decided that I really am regulated with you the and you sleep through the night. Exactly. The more explanations, the less atmos. And the more you need to give explanations, it means there's less atmos. Not because we're afraid of explanations. We're not afraid of explanations. You could sit for hours and give beautiful explanations. You're just not touching that frequency. So when you're in the world of a saga, then you need to give explanations. If you're learning a gamar, you need to understand it. You need to understand it. You need to use this tool. If you want to build a suka, you need a hammer and nails. But the hammer and nails is not an experience of intimacy. It's a tool to build a suka. So you could sit in a suka and be hugged. It's a tool. These are all tools, very important tools. Seel is a galda tool. It's it's it's the greatest one of the deepest human tools which allows us so much expansiveness. But the expansive to what? To what? That's why what's so much missing? That's why the world of science and even psychology and philosophy is desperately hitting a a brick wall in our generation. Not because it's not brilliant. It is brilliant. And what they revealed is beyond brilliant. 5,000 years they didn't know what we know today. But because they turned the tool into God. And whenever you turn the tool into the experience, it's a tragedy. It's like people who think they'll build the most beautiful home in Pomona or in Wesley Hills, right? And that's going to fix their marriage. You know what I mean? So they have three pools and a tennis court and a farm, right? And a basketball and a galda and solar energy and jacuzzi's outdoors and indoors and nine bathrooms and it's a beautiful thing. Listen, if you can I mean you can give me a little of the money but fine if you can afford it for but that's not going to that's not going to fix your marriage. There's people who live in onebedroom apartment and they sit on the couch that's broken, you know, with lentil soup and they look at each other and they feel each other. And there's people who have 35 bedrooms. They don't know how to look at each other. And I'm not complaining. I'm not saying if you're poor, you're happy. And if you're rich, you're miserable. No. Some people are poor I'm miserable. And some people are rich I'm miserable. And some people are poor. Obviously, and it's good to have money and everybody should have. The point is you can't confuse the instrument with the experience. Science is a tool. Psychology is a tool. Philosophy is a tool. All of this unbelievable tools. It shows you what's happening. But it's not the experience. And because they're so afraid of the experience because it may mean that the world is infinite, God forbid. God forbid. Uh pun intended, right? And it may mean that there's moral responsibility which is the worst thing in the world. So I have to limit some of my tyus. So me you kill sc you kill science you kill psychology because it's like you're missing the makabes you know you're missing the the the connection the intimacy. It's the intimacy that's what's relevant here. That's what means means it's all there for that moment of of of of stripping all the garments and just full presence. The ego. >> Yeah. The ego, the ego, the in intellect, the ego could still live. In bliss, the ego doesn't live anymore. Ego death is always associated with bliss. You'll see always. There's never an ego death without bliss. There could be fear before because you're like jumping off the cliff. But in that moment, there's going to be a bliss that you will never have without ego death. Why? Because that's the moment where you experience Hashem. What do you experience from Hashem? You experience that he likes you, that he wants you. That's what bliss is. All real bliss in the world, I think we just nailed it. All real bliss in the world is the experience that Hashem wants you. Yeah. doesn't want me because I'm talented or because I produce my eggs or because I'm a good guy or because I'm handsome or because I'm strong or because I work hard or because I'm very fr. That's not bliss. That's transactional. I like you. I'm going to marry you because you're a good cook and you do the laundry and you keep the house clean. Okay, great. I like my kids. They give me nas. They come home with good report cards. They're going to give me good and that's it. You understand? That's what is that's what whenever said I don't want I don't want I want you. What was he really saying? This is what he was saying. [laughter] Why? What's wrong with Alam Haba? Alaba is the worst thing that ever happened. People worked their whole life for Haba. No. What are you What are you What are you What are you dismissing Mahaba? Alhaba is a bad thing. But the point is if Alam Haba is a distraction from you then I don't want it. If Alam Haba is part of you I'm fine. Didn't mind being in he didn't have anything against [snorts] so so that that experience I want you that's what does he say here that the revealed his and that's where to connect. So you say but how do you understand God? You don't you don't have to understand God really your brain appreciate you don't have to your brain doesn't have to appreciate it you don't have to understand it's not comprehension >> is the only form where it happen [snorts] >> no no but is designated for this it's really it's really the experience of life but is the moment of intimacy it's like in a marriage when is it supposed to happen anytime breakfast lunch dinner when you take a But there's moments in marriage that are designated to cultivate the relationship. Right? That's the idea. Is the time I'm working but is the time that you take in order to cultivate this relationship. >> That's why he gives a he says he doesn't say it's only because that's in the heart. >> What do you think? I think it's from >> a we don't have to discuss what davening is for so many of us. For some people at best it's boring and at worst it's aim right for some people he's talking it's an experiential thing for some people it's very hard to hear this because just triggers crazy crazy discomfort. So if it does then then liberate yourself from that. He's not talking about the feel that you grew up with. You know if I was a kid and I have a little add which I do and Davening took 55 minutes in school and you weren't allowed to look out of the sidd. So by the time you're 12 years old what's your experience of dvening? >> Huh? It could be very very negative. Right? I'm not blaming anybody. I'm just saying we have to appreciate the fact that for many people davening is just a monotonous boring lifeless experience at best and at worst it triggers. Rabbi Shim Russel told me he's making a group or he made a group. It's called SA Shul anonymous. >> No sh SA shul anonymous. Why these people they can't go they can't walk into sh they can't. But now they have kids and it drives them crazy. So he wants to make a group. >> You're crazy. [laughter] >> They'll nuke it. They'll nuke it. Exposure therapy. No, my point is when we speak here about we have to emancipate ourselves because for some people it's it's a difficult experience. But the of is maybe your doning has to look different for a certain time. Maybe it has to come out of there. Maybe it has to be different cuz maybe that regular structure of was too it has too many uh strings attached that are very negative very negative associations and that's fine. You have to be honest where you are in life. So that's very important always to to when we talk about here it's about tuning into the experience of it. [snorts] Okay, we're going to take a break here and we'll continue Ber Hashem Thursday morning 8:00 a.m. Tomorrow morning we have a women's class 9:30. Everybody have a beautiful day and a meaningful day and a blissful day.