Maamar B'chal Dor 5734 #2: My Only Need Is To Know What Hashem Wants From Me Right Now

[Music] good morning everybody morning M again got M again here [Music] CCE make yourself comfortable thank you junior thank you [Music] for [Music] one [Music] again you understood the sh last the whole thing could do triple speed double speed I tell people double speed was created for me okay okay so let's continue [Music] thank you for the copies today's class is dedicated by anat bravman to increase a is and to strengthen the spiritual and physical safety of our Jewish people amen thank you thank you very very much anat we truly appreciate it and amain on your blessings for all of us so last class we began the new M that was said by the the 11th of niss 1974 a few days before p and it began on the passage of the which is a miss that in every generation one ought to see themselves as they left Egypt and he explained that even though the that this is an obligation for the 15th of niss for p in Al adds and explains that really it refers to not just a but really every day as he adds in chapter 47 of T and this is consistent with the mishna that tells us that you have to mention every day and not just by day also by night and not just in this world but even as we also say in the and that means that is experienced on four levels there's the original that happened in the year 2448 since creation when the Jewish people left Egypt that's number one there the that we commemorate since then every year on the anniversary and that's with with we experience every single day even though we don't have the physical mat but it's with the spiritual mat and then there that we experience when comes which that's a because the Revelation then will be so intense the says that the Wonders then will be wondrous even relative to it will be astonishing even relative to the extraordinary wonders of still there's a to mention mentioning doesn't just mean mentioning like why not remembering is something that you internalize it affects you it impacts you it adds something it creates an it creates a an an effect it has an impact on the soul so in order to explain all of this he began explaining what is literally means Egypt but like every word Ines it has a meaning it's not just the geographical place that it's called and the word means which means restrictions when a person is in a state of when a person is in a restricted State the person is uh is in a place of I'm confined I'm so to speak stuck stuck in a box or in a structure that keeps me put and the person doesn't feel the ability to emancipate themselves from it that's the definition of MIT this can exist on so many different levels says but where it begins is where does it begin it begins in what we call theim theim the first simum that discusses as a prerequisite for all of existence for all of creation or as the G puts it first came darkness and then light first the goats then the Sheep that Darkness what is it that darkness is the darkness of Tsum because Tsum represents the the the the truth that the universe is is is built it's predicated on the perception that there is a vacuum a a vacuum and empty space that is devoid of an of infinity Infinity is the antithesis of MIT MIT is when the person suddenly finds themselves in a space of restrictions I'm confined the person's energy or creativity or soul is obstructed The First beginning of that on the highest highest highest level is the the create the first even though there you're talking about it's not MIT down here but that's the origin of M after many many Evol after a long evolutionary process called lower and lower and lower and lower and lower where the energy gets restricted and filtered and condensed and limited more and more It ultimately results in stronger limits until you have down here until you have the physical MIT and the same is true in each person's life and what this teaches us is one of the things that teaches us is when a person looks at their own MIT and everyone has everyone is a MIT in one way or another whatever that means in a person's life there's those things that we need Liberation from it doesn't begin with the MIT I'm looking at it begins with a much deeper and more subtle MIT that is the origin of the MIT I'm living in the he says like said how is it possible this explains how can there be a concept of MIT and it doesn't begin with par it begins with a in Holiness because everything begins in kadus and then the Distortion in kadus or at least the appearing Distortion results in the actual MIT so in every person's life I'm looking at a it's more than what looking at and why is that important because you don't want to you don't only want to deal with the symptoms you want to deal with the source of the symptoms because that's how you really heal the symptoms if I can go back to the origin of the MIT and you see it in a person's life you know sometimes a person lives in this whole world but it's really based on a thought that they experienced at some point in their life but that thought went in deep and now you know my whole my whole life is based on that thought and that thought was a thought of MIM that thought was the thought that I am detached from in I'm separate I'm broken I'm alone and there is a reason why how that MIT came into my head and that's what I need to be able to nip in the bud that's what I need to challenge cuz all the other mits are just you know the domino effect it may be you know the do Domino number a thousand you know it really it really you know it it uh what's the word it followed its course but it goes back to that that simp yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah very good yeah and it also means that even in the highest level there's still a MIM a person is facing because MIM is at the beginning of existence in other words to live means to confront MIT it's not like you know I'm this uh I'm this crazy guy who's dealing with stuff no to be alive to exist means that you're confronting adversity birth birth is a declaration that yeah birth is a Tsum and the birth of existence is AUM so to confront existence to live to fully live means to face theim Tsum to look at the Tsum and when I look at it I can I I face that adversity the beginning of adversity is the Tsum even though it's a very lofty form of adversity obviously but every person even on the highest spiritual levels faces that that's the beginning of on this we say the world exists in our heart so when a person makes that shift inside themselves it has a ripple effect in the world and it has a ripple effect on all the worlds so when a person finds in themselves the Courage the resilience and the awareness to be able to transcend their own simp this has the ripple effect of healing the Tsum because what was the purpose of Tsum the purpose wasn't to restrict the purpose is g to go out of M to be redeemed but now the Redemption is much deeper because it transforms the MIT as well before there was aim Tsum there was no Tsum there was nothing else there was no otherness there was no limit once there's AUM it's not just we go back out of the tum we go back to preimum something much deeper is accomplished and that is that the Tsum itself is transformed this begins within a person's own life and that's why we're saying is from the word is the ability of a person to know that anything that defines me the word definition the word limitation is already something that doesn't capture the truth of who you are in other words the soul yearns for a love that's that's it it's it it that's its natural DNA its natural DNA is that it's purely infinite it came into a place of Tsum but it's not a product of it open yourself up not just to your heart and to your soul but to your and as he puts it practically I don't live based on calculations that a world makes for me that neighbors make for me that my coping mechanisms make for me my animal Consciousness makes for me or even the intellectualism of my Divine sell which are all different levels of Tsum and again you what paradigms do do I but very often my life is a result of a certain Paradigm and that paradig is called MIT and that MIT I need to be able to challenge and this takes a lot of Courage you know you have to ask yourself what is my MIT what are the paradigms what are the boxes that I'm fitting into when a person is living for example with a lot of fear or a lot of guilt just to give a practical example or a lot of insecurity or a lot of anger or a lot of resentment or disconnected it was born from somewhere it's not the natural state of the Soul even though it feels that this is who I am you like me you know we some people say this is who I am not who you are to I became in order to survive I don't know that there's anything out of MIT yeah I was born a slave I'm not blaming anybody Jews were born into slavery and when said it's not your place they couldn't listen to they it was so hard to breathe and they were working so hard it's like I'm busy surviving don't talk to me about leaving there's no such a thing you you have time fine you're on vacation so we want to talk about go you know some people some people work for a living but what does that mean but that's what he's saying in every person's life in every person's life just to be able to see this is M no it's not organic it's not who you are it's maybe who I became it's maybe who I think I am but that thought itself is MIT right this is who I am and this is who I think I am and who I am is a result of who I think I am because every existence is a result of inner processes that cause it every emotion there's a thought there's no emotion without a thought there's a thought there always a thought there I may not see the thought right it's very hidden I just feel I'm angry at you I'm just angry at you or whoever that person in your life is usually somebody close but that anger is driven by something by a Shame by by by a thought by a a deep disappointment and deep deep down there's a MIT I'm leaving living in so when we say leave MIT every day it's one of the most important mitzvas what I left MIT yesterday it was yesterday today there's also a and it could be today's MIT is much more subtle yesterday's Redemption becomes today's Exile you know I peeled one layer of the onion which is amazing but first of all sometimes it comes back he got to do it again until it really until your brain really gets used to the fact that we're not living in mitam anymore and sometimes I'm actually confronting something deeper int our always good question that's a good question it sounds like an impossibility that thought itself is a product of MIT so yeah yeah you're right you're right it's an impossibility like what do you want what do what do you want you ask me to start flying because I'm a bird I'm not a bird I'm a human being itself idea okay one day everything's going to be it's idea it's a process of course it's a process possible right that that's really the point if I if I approach it from a place of ego which is the biggest M then it's like this is impossible it's like you know it's like tomorrow you're being transformed if I if I if I approach it with a process of authenticity of vulnerability then it's a privilege it's an opportunity it's an invitation it's not like now I'm going to leave MIT alsoo you know like I'm going to take control of Liberation too Liberation means I'm not going to take control I'm actually going to let go you get what I'm saying yeah it's not like okay it's on my to-do list you know I'm I'm leaving all MIT get get it off your to-do list the to-do list is the source of all the problems I'm going to control this process also I'm not going to control anything the need to control is a product of being in MIT a slave needs to control everything cuz only way to achieve something you want to achieve something you need to have goals how to do it and then follow that's true to achieve anything we need goals we need tasks but the approach to it can be in two ways one is with a sense of control you're control if you're not control well I'm talking about control in the sense that I have to control the outcomes I have to control the results I have to control the people around me I have to control what's coming up I'm not sensitive to the journey the journey itself is essential to the is part of the destination it is the destination of many ways but it continues yeah it's there's a destination there's another destination we have it even in work even in work you know if a boss is trying to control the employees rather than realize we're on a jury together bringing out the best in each other and of course yeah I want to look at the results you know you want to make money you want to have checks and balances you want responsibility but the environment is one that's not manipulative it's not even manipulative of myself you understand what I'm saying I don't I'm not here to exploit anybody I'm not here to exploit myself it's be it's it's it's being a channel it's dangerous if if if I become naive and and and vulnerable and surrender to other people's manipulation but it's not dangerous if a person is in control of that that I don't I I don't need to control outcomes in the sense that I can't control outcomes I could show up the way I could show up with the best version of myself and and help other people do that and that itself is the greatest success and then there's a Serenity there you're thinking that you you've dealt with sharks who are aggressive yeah I to focus focused in a way you are in charge of your vision and Mission so everybody has to be focused focus is very good well in a way you exerting your control to make everyone think in in a certain way so I'm I'm exerting my I'm a leader needs to exert their leadership in order to be able to set an agenda and help people see that agenda and be inspired by that agenda that's that's the powerful but deep deep down I have to be able to do that in a way that in my deepest self I'm not trying to control cuz if I am I become a very deep slave not you wake up every day say so that's it so when I could stand in a place of gratitude in a place of gratitude and humility then it's a different type of leadership that's a good question that's a good question it's probably hard in order you're asking can we go out of MIT if we can't identify what it is I think we probably have to identify what it is cuz if I can't identify what it is how do I know what to leave think about it geographically if I don't know where Egypt is how can I leave Egypt follow huh follow okay if M says that's that's true sometimes you have a person in life M says we're going and you follow him right you could have that trust like you know that mha has your back and he wants you out of MIT but on some level in each of Our Lives I need some awareness you know this is this is where I'm getting stuck CU if I don't do that if I don't have any of that awareness I don't even have telling me what's so then I could start calling Exile becomes Redemption I don't know the difference anymore I'm so used to it there's nothing else this is the only thing I know so when a person realizes that the Tsum in their own life is not the destination it's a journey their soul is essentially liberated from it that's and and and and as he puts it here it's not number one is that my soul is not stuck in the Tsum number two is the Tsum that was given to me was given to me in order to transform it it's not just you're not affected by it it was given to you to transform and the transformation begins inside and the transformation inside affects it on every single on every single level and that's what he said and this was the last point we made that uh the B teaches right that the world is created every moment and recreated every moment the ultimate vision of that the mouth of Hashem speaks which means everything is being spoken into existence every moment so the ultimate chemistry of every created being is the Divine energy the so then he says when a person starts living with that Paradigm with that State of Consciousness now I don't see the world as a limited place just as a place of Tsum rather I see as he puts it the P Hashem that creates the limitation you see that the limitation itself is a creation by Hashem if the limitation itself was a creation by hasem it's not an ultimate limitation it's an expression of infinity if I see the limitation as something separate as something self-contained or to put it simply I see my obstacles or my jails or my blind spots or or whatever stuckness I'm dealing with I see it as a self-contained reality that has its own power then it's powerful I'm stuck but if I could see the P hasem just list the physical world everything is limited but the limitedness is only an issue of perception because it's a Divine limitation if it's a Divine limitation it's really an infinite limitation and you see this in science and physics the more science and physics progresses the more we see that whatever we thought was limited and defined and in a box really if you go to a deeper level you'll see that it's infinite the whole the whole field called quantum mechanics which is aish of Our Generation and some of the greatest scientists disagreed with it Einstein famously said God doesn't play dice with the universe and he he adamantly argued with some of the basics of quantum mechanics because it's freaky to put it simply basically shows you you know we we thought you know we have control there's predictable pattern and at some point you see there's so much Paradox subatomic particles move clockwise and counterclockwise simultaneously which doesn't make sense there something called Schrodinger cat the cat is dead and alive simultaneously light is a particle and a wave which is a paradox and it's both and it happens together nothing even has a particular space it's only a probability in other words the deeper you go into limits you suddenly touch something that's not limited like M it says about the Arin it had a measurement and it didn't have a measurement simultaneously when everybody learned the it looks like okay you know another statement in gamar but today essentially we know the gar is saying about the Arin is just the truth about every single creation by the Arin it came out even in the Surface by the AR in quantum physics was not Quantum anymore you understand it's a there was a place but didn't have a what what's my point my point is the deeper you go into the limits everything in the world is limited it has a med it has it has properties it has its chemistry if you go deeper to the pem it's a Divine limitation it's Infinity expressed the limitation and whenever Infinity is expressed in limitation limitation is not an authentic ultimate limitation it's just the way Infinity is expressed he says that's a person realizes that every limit in my life is really Infinity expressing itself that way so then it's just an opportunity to bring out your own infinite greatness now it's hard because the limit doesn't say this the limit says you're limited you're limited you're limited you're limited this is impossible impossible impossible impossible there's an old anecdote that a teacher once ask the students to describe what they would like to be when they get older and everybody should write it on a paper so one boy wrote he wants to be a policeman another boy wrote he wants to be a fireman a fireman he wants to run the fire department and one of person wanted to be a soldier another person you know wants to be the president of the United States though today it's not such a compliment and another person wants to do this and this and a one girl wrote I want to be possible so the teacher said what does this mean so she said my mother always tells me you're impossible so one day I want to be possible there's a sadness to the story but there's a truth to the story right and that mother may sit inside of me you know you're impossible you're impossible you're impossible or this is impossible this is impossible one day I want to be possible I don't want to be impossible that voice I'm impossible can be a very powerful MIT okay so now let's continue we're holding per do the the the the the pag is b b they put B because I guess shouldn't be okay so the last the last line do you see chapter four this is also what it says inim the P says very famous speaks and he says Kal in Hebrew like the word kala kala means yearning like my soul URS Pines craves that's Kal the word kala is connected to that in in yish it's called seate ice there's a there's a very profound I I search for you I for you I Aspire for you so he says is my body my flesh the flesh is called is my heart so both my flesh and my heart which represents my passion my emotion color they yearn they desire it's a strong it's called color what is the rock is The Rock right the rock thekite of my heart and my lot in life my part in life is forever what's describing here says he's describing this was his experience of the experience of is you realize what you really are looking for in life everybody's looking for something I'm looking what what am I looking for Life what am I looking so very often because a person is Passion right when when there's no passion in life there's no life life is Passion life is life life is Vitality life there's a fire burning what does that passion attach itself to what is it attached to what am I passionate about am I passionate about my coping mechanisms to make sure they survive in other words am I passionate about staying in MIT and I'll do whatever it takes or am I passionate about living Who I Really Am you're smiling because yeah as though it's so easy right but this is really this is the sometimes all my creativity or much of my is invested in making sure I stay in Egypt and I'm smart so I do it brilliantly that's what a brain does a brain is very very smart everybody's B brain is brilliant so my when I'm only in touch with my NE with my animal Consciousness the key is survival and whatever it takes and it needs passion too when a person has passion even in things that are destructive addiction and all these things and even not addiction addiction addiction but everyone in their own little passions it's using my passion but it's enslaving my passion to something that's not leading me to my Promised Land we need passion and something is going to give me passion but the question is where that passion is coming from and that's what is describing here he's describing what's my passion what's my what's my ch ch is desire kilan is craving T is bliss it's a it's the truth it's godliness it's Oneness the word that he uses is says is the body the says and is the soul it's not just something in the soul it's also the body this is what the body is looking for the body wants that Bliss as they put it said spoke the was in yish but usually it's written in Hebrew but here they put it into yish those who understand yish appreciate the words right you know what is h o is like H right it's like an overflow like you just like the soul melt like it melts you know there's moments that your soul just melts the body melts It could only happen in safety if there's no safety there can't be oos like I I'm not melting I'm going to retain my boundaries color is like a real kala a real kala is about safety right she can she can fully uh let go exactly and I'm not going to let go if a knife is coming in from the other direction and what that knife looks like we all know that's my MIT and I'm I'm not going to let go I'm going to be very very defensive and maybe my entire life is going to be invested in protecting those defense mechanism so I'm extremely passionate what am I passionate I'm passionate in making sure that nobody gets into my life and it's not about blaming you know when we go into a blame game that's also MIT you know MIT is very very clever like it'll do whatever it needs to survive py is very smart he needs to keep you in Egypt you know what I mean if if if one thing doesn't work something else will work you know if one security gate doesn't work we'll have another security gate so at one of the highest levels of is guilt blame cuz that looks like Redemption you know somebody once said the definition of a Jew is that if he doesn't feel guilty he blames himself I'm feeling so happy why am I feeling happy it's not horrible it's horrible how can I be happy you know what's going on in the world you know what's happening in Iran what are you happy be miserable and you're going to help the Jewish people that way it it it looks very spiritual I'm a bad person I blame myself look how bad I am oh oh now I'm holy it's not Holiness what happens the next time what happens a few minutes later I'm probably doing something destructive I'm blowing up I'm getting angry I'm doing the wrong thing it's not bringing out your spiritual it's not bringing out your creativity your love so we have to understand where this passion is coming from so now it's not about blaming myself but it's about identifying my MIT I'm not letting go I'm not going to let go how can I let go the the theem can only come it's fascinating when you see toim you see that had a place of safety and it wasn't he didn't have people he didn't find safety from a lot of people because everybody tried to kill him he says his mother abandoned him his father abandoned him his brothers abandoned him and then finally he got married and his father-in-law became his enemy and he was the king so you know good luck with that if you read toim and you understand what it says you could see how he identifies the lack of safety in the world but he has a place of refuge and in that place of Refuge he completely lets go and that allows him to come back to the world so to speak and deal with people in a different way cuz he can deal with himself in a different way nobody can ultimately give me that security we want other people to give it to us we have to be able to find it in ourselves there are those who were lucky and they got it as a at a very young age they got that safety they got that salad foundation and then they could let go because when they let go as a baby and every baby lets go because every baby's so vulnerable they got the unconditional Embrace rather than the opposite message but if I didn't get it and unfortunately there's many people who didn't get it we often develop an entire coping mechanism based on separation and loneliness and Brokenness we don't know this but it comes out in marriage usually where it reeks Havoc because a person can't really connect if I cannot be connected to myself in that way I can't create that connection with somebody else I can't become a source of safety for somebody if I'm not a source of safety for me you know what do they say on the airlines right put on your mask before you put on anybody else before you put on your children's mask if you're not breathing if you're choking how you g give oxygen to somebody else so it's so important for the person to be able to find that that safety huh within themselves yeah that this oos this oos this ability to let go this is the natural need for connection real connection is Letting Go connection is not like you know you so that cartoon they have two people in cages like a husband and a wife in cages and they're looking away from each other his back is facing her back and inside these big bodies is a little child and the two children are looking at each other and like wanting to connect you saw that it's a very uh I think you sent it to me right it's two adults in cages they're backs to each other because they're in a fight I'm in my cage you're in your cage but as that's happening there's two little children inside of their bodies and they're looking at each other longingly like you know let's just go play in the sandbox let's just go play basketball but the adults will know and it's it's really it's really what happens you know it's little children little little children who are really looking for safety and now but I'm 50 years old so I'm not going to tell you I'm a little child I have to be an adult so we develop philosophies and mechanisms and sophisticated patterns to be able to maintain our MIT but really the little child just wants to let go but I'm afraid I'm afraid you know fortunate is the adult who can always be a little child or at least can always listen to the little child and can always watch it so you could see that he's a child he remains a child in the in in the most in the most intelligent sense of the word he always retains that innocence and that Purity that the child [Music] needs you know in ancient world the child was only seen as a h to become an adult and even today it's like as a kid he's a a baby like grow up so the first 10 15 20 years of your life is just to grow up says the opposite and today in the in in in in in our world everyone is seeing how true it is no no no it's the opposite right it's the children where every where with that that's the key it's like the seed of the tree the adult is essentially manifesting the child if I was never a child I'll never become an adult if I was a child I can actually become an adult if I was never a child I'm always going to be a child because I'm looking to be a child it's only a child who can be an adult when a child is a child then you can actually grow up cuz if growing up means I could really connect I have to be a child I have to have that safety that the child gets if not I could be 60 years old but I'm still 3 years old you know give me attention give me attention whatever I'm for my my my every person in their own way so these are the words here it says two words o is like you pour yourself out and an oang is almost like you expire there's a melting away there's a letting letting go in Hebrew means craving and it also comes the word it's like the Bliss and the two are connected because real Bliss is something that is overwhelming you melt in it so says why why is this see this is this is what how a person experiences Hashem we always talk about how people experience God what does he experience hashm what is my heart what is my strength is a rock what is my heart what is the strength of my heart and what is my part in the world that's meant all the truth the deepest truth of a person the deepest love and beauty and Grace in the world that is what Hashem is and that's what I want I don't want anything else he adds the word it's not something today I have it tomorrow it's lost he was so anchored in this that this was not changeable this was like his anchor he did not go away from this place in his he explains when a person gets in touch with the the core of the Soul which is one so then you you know this is what you want this is who I am when I'm not in touch with this then my passion is looking to attach itself to something and then there's many many distractions that grab me away from it but says I know exactly who I am and it's and everything else is is going to be a betrayal of my authentic self and therefore I'm going to always need more and more and more and more and more cuz it's essentially pouring in water into a a a bottomless pit like we spoke about a cup that has a hole you know you could pour and pour and pour but it's not really what you're looking for so it's not going to fill you the only thing that really fills is true Deus with with with truth with authenticity with Oneness everything else may be powerful and potent but it's a cover up it's a if it's a anything that puts me into whatever that means is ultimately taking me away from reality it's instead of seeing the tsim Tsum as a as a catalyst as a springboard as the arena in which I'm supposed to live and transform it becomes my destination your jail is not your destination you you're there to break the shackles to break the bars then the Jew was called like the [Music] says interesting what the mag says here what he's referring to the says that in the first par it speaks about in the second part the second says you should gather your own grain says if people are going to go work and gather their own grain what's going to be with you learn and other people will gather your grain asks the it says you got to do it so the say the second they're not doing H's will the first par they are doing H's will so the second part you have to gather your grain ask the second that's called not doing his will you serve serving him with your heart your soul you're loving him then you get that's called so the says it doesn't say doesn't say the first says that's called doesn't mean you're doing my will you're not doing my will here means like it says you're making my will means that I'm not fully aligned with the will why cuz there's missing what's the idea the idea is until I don't get in touch with my Infinity that's is the viness the infinity I'm not truly aligned with my own will which is truly one with hm's Will in other words it's still a state of even though there is such there's such a profound experience but it's missing the it's the Infinity the Transcendence of Tsum that is at the core of the Soul when says when there then whatever something somebody touches it in the world what they're looking for is the truth of it the p hasem in it everything in the world is the mouth of Hashem speaking it into existence I want to identify that what does it mean identify it I don't get stuck I don't get I don't fall prey to the outer shell to the encasement to the Clipper to the cover in myself also in myself also I could fall prey to the outer shell or I could see the the inner energy of everything the is the way it looks on the outside the is the inner Divine energy that creates it every moment that's what I'm looking for and when I'm looking for that I'm not distracted by anything so when I'm looking for what's my heart what's my what's my what's my Bliss I'm not going to fall prey to distractions that I anyway can't say sh because it's not really what I'm looking for the only thing that will fill me up is the truth in every inion the p and it's also in relationships with people you know when I look at somebody you look at your child for example or you look at yourself you look at your spouse you look at anybody you could see what they look like on the outside and you can get stuck in that you look at this you say this you're doing this you're dressed like this your behavior is like this and I could live in that space can you see the P can you see the Divine energy that's vibrating in this person if I'm not seeing it I'm not really relating to you your external self is triggering my external self how can I connect to you I can only connect to you if I can go beyond the external self and see the P yes I know it's easier said than done because when we sit down to do it you know there's all these triggers it's called so happens it seems has to happen every moment in life it's like a choice I I sat down with you right now and I have to choose is this going to be an Egyptian relationship or is this going to be a A Soulful relationship you know is this going to be like negotiating with Egypt and everything that comes with it geographically and existentially and spiritually or we're going to go out of if I'm in a cage and you're in a cage so our cages connect I trigger you and you trigger me and good luck you know and we make believe we're talking we're not even talking my clip is talking to your clip I'm not talking to you you're not talking to me I'm trying to stay safe you're trying to stay safe or we can open that up you know let that go that's is that ability in a moment's call that he could melt he had what to fall into sound of course that's the natural that's always in yourself that's the whole idea happens in me happens in me I cannot change any other person but when I say I can't change another person it's a lie I could change another person but only one way through me you know we say you can't change anybody else you could change yourself it's true but it's also a lie of course you could change other people but how not by changing them by changing yourself you know life is a dance the world is a dance we're all we're all in a dance and when you you know if you're dancing with somebody when you start changing your position they also have to change their position you know what I mean so when my dance starts changing the people around me dance they their postures will also their positions will also start moving around so I can chess you know I make the move you're now forced to make a certain move I can't make you move anywhere in I can't cause you to make a move in chess but I could but only through working on my pieces suddenly there's a different dance in this game and you don't want Checkmate so that's that that's the idea right that's says the world lives in my [Music] heart right before this he says in the this is all it's interesting that the was explaining this because there's a Tak of the B I don't know if all of you know it's a beautiful Tak of the B that uh at a birthday a person begins saying the new capital to of the year and every day they say that capital till the next birthday so for example if I'm becoming 50 so I begin my 501 year so Capal when a person becomes 51 so I begin my 52nd year Capital so so to speak when a person is born I mean we don't say till him when we're born right but that would be the first capital and then once I'm one year old so now I finished Al now I begin my second year is B and so forth a person becomes Mitzvah you start cap this is of the every day for a year yeah yeah it's a very welln that everybody does it it comes from the and some other places I think it's really it's it's also very beautiful on an emotional level cuz every day when you're saying it it's really you stop and it's actually you're dedicating a capital to yourself you know we're always saying till them for everybody else saying tell them for this one for this one you're actually saying to hel and not because there's a desperate everything could be going well it should everything should go well it's really to honor to honor yourself like honoring your age you know and also reminds you every day how old you were are which is not such a bad thing you know no it it's it's interesting like you know okay it's another 3 months it's you know it's like a good question like am I living this age so I could go next year and become you know if I'm not 50 when I'm 50 I can't be 51 when I'm 51 if I'm not three when I'm three I can't be four when I have to be four then when I'm four I still have to be three sometimes when I'm 60 I still have to be four years old huh how when you're 120 oh start Al Al so in addition to that we say the divided in the month so we go through the whole tillum just to make up for for the Youth it's a very nice Tak it's really it's honoring your existence it's really it's a beautiful the is his birthday this is 1974 so he started to say giml so in the M he was explaining the he didn't say it clearly but it's it's obvious so so what does it say before it's an interesting thing St did ever once told somebody on that the has a very very early Source why the gor says that Capital Al and B from TM are considered like one so he says if you go toim the end ofon B what's the last word how old was DAV when he passed away 70 so he finished capital I am Bas that was his capital then he passed away of finished right thear says Al and B are considered one Capital was considered one Capal no so he was already saying yeah so it's a whole why Al and Bay connected by him yes you start the next year right right yeah yeah yeah yeah yes so the it's okay it's a whole pull over here why why over here but the gar that Al and B are considered one so no no just the first two so yeah so it's not it's not like 72 it was like 71 imagine if it was Al so when he was 70 he said Al and that's that's the end of it so as an introduction to the says before gives a [Music] prerequisite what does he say who do I have in heaven me me means who is there for me in heaven with you I don't desire on Earth and therefore what's the introduction what does it mean who do I have in heaven it's like who do I have in heaven I don't have anybody in heaven Rashi says there uh I even in heaven I don't have any angels to choose with you I don't desire anything on Earth and therefore what what what's was the grandson of the Al he has a over there there's a whole big called the root of theah in that M he brings he explains this and says we often tell the story but here he actually brings the whole Source says that this is what we used to hear this this language we used to from our teacher and Reb he's referring it to his grandfather his mother's father the alterb the bat grew up his mother passed away when he was very young he was a baby he was 2 years old so the AL raised him she passed away there was it was an she made a condition with her father that she he's going to raise her son so he grew up in the bosom of the Al he says this is the language that we used to hear from our teacher when he was in and you see from here that it wasn't a one-time event he says this was a regular event that when went into ad vasus means a state of heightened connection you could say he was always in Adas that's true but sometimes with an adus itself you're going like to a place like a a Transcendent state of consciousness of complete Oneness so there would there were words that would come out of his mouth then what were the words that would come out and when he says means he's quoting sometimes you just repeat an idea but he said that's why he goes from Hebrew to yish because spoken yish what did he say so he said these words literal translation I want see Z see Gard see that I want nothing I want you to see that I want [Music] nothing Z means C garish like we say garnished what's this what's this that I don't want I don't want your G I don't want your I want nothing I want nothing else as Only You Al alone you alone this was and this is how is explaining the get this language from his own soul obviously but this is what he saw in this who do I have in heaven I don't have anybody in heaven in other even heaven doesn't tempt me and Heaven of course is a metaphor for ganen Even Heaven who do I have in heaven and who do I have on Earth so even G I don't have a desire what do I want I want only [Music] you every word was precise his words were M were precise with the ultimate Precision every word you could see it also in his it's like the ra he was Medic in every word especially he says when he's talking during deas when you're talking in even even on a regular Wednesday when you're talking Inus it means the soul is in a complete communion with its source every word is is is a Priceless gem so he's M here in one word he doesn't say and often when people quote it they this what I don't want G I don't want I don't want your G I don't want your that's what he was saying what did he mean dine and quotes it this way this dine brings out the depth of what he's saying you can have G it's Bliss you don't feel that it's D Gan it's your ganade ganen can also become a distraction can also become a jail it's G it's Bliss you're looking for you're looking for you're looking for you're looking for reward says I'm not looking for that that's not thees that's not the Kish even G where I feel it's your G it's not it's what's there's a metaphor of the on another it says in the prayer of a poor man when he davens when he envelops himself in daving he pours out his is his conversation his thoughts his words to Hashem as the every person Who Davin pours his words out to Hashem only an doesn't if a person is not if [Music] I'm so says he gives a famous metaphor you go into the Chamber of a king give is a very very fascinating metaphor he says it was a king and the King remember the ancient world the King was everything right you know we don't relate to it so much but like the Monarch the King was the Mel was was it you know had full control and this king who was a benign King a good guy good guy also unique in history not to have a despot as a king but a good person one day he designated that every subject of the country could come and see him and talk to him about whatever he wants you want to talk about the pothole on your street you could talk about it you want to talk about the the leak in your basement and this was AES whoever saw the king yeah whoever saw the king it was aish so everybody came the king said you know from 6 to 6 the doors are open no burocracy no red tape no protect no no protection no nepotism everybody and zelig and schm can all come but the B said as you entered in the p is the first floor was filled with the most delicious food in the world people never saw so much food they never saw such delicious food and then the second floor had the greatest Wines in the world and then the third floor had the most impressive library in the world and then the fourth floor had all this jewelry people never saw gems and diamonds brilant and then you went to the next and you had music musicians the best musicians from the country most people when they came they were hungry they never saw so much food so they stayed stay in the first watch you go further s another person he finished eating he went to drink okay you never had so many drinks nobody saw so much wine so much pin colada so many whiskey so many screwdrivers they sat and drink was a good foring it even if you managed to get out of there you went to the next floor whoever saw so many books and manuscripts if you were a scholar you stayed there and then you went up and you saw such jewelry such brilliant such dazzling glitter and then if you had music says nobody ever made it nobody made it to the king and then he says there was one on there was one as ased he was illiterate he was unsophisticated he didn't even understand the richness of food he was so he was so simple he was such a peasant he came in he was hungry so he ate how long do he eat for five minutes drink he didn't understand the sophistication of wine he wasn't French he was a peasant so he went he took a drink next Library he couldn't read jewelry he never saw them to be impressed music he didn't have a so what did he do he went to the king and he stayed there a whole day so one man ended up by the King this is the only the ends up the rich man he gets caught up in all of the richness of the palace he never ends up and with this the B was was trying to describe what life is all sophistication is worthless if it doesn't bring you to Simplicity the magic of life is the simplicity the Simplicity of the touches the Simplicity of God we become so sophisticated and intelligent especially some of us ashkenazic Jews who are taught to do gymnastics with our brain and become intellectual Giants he says you never ever meet the king stuck in the library you're stuck in the library and the library is galic we're not being M the library and certainly not the wine and not the Jewel and not the music what's what's it's amazing and that that's why it's a trap if it wouldn't be amazing it wouldn't be a trap amazing but the Mel you never touched he doesn't know about so the TR by the it's not so hard he doesn't know anything else by the AER by the person who's a rich person it's hard and psychologically we all know what that means you know we get caught up in so much sophistication and that's it's you never meet the King you never meet yourself that P that encounter face to face that vulnerability of the child to be able to look at you in the eyes and look at them in the eyes with that unconditional acceptance and connection I may never have so therefore I have all the other stuff I'm a scholar I'm brilliant I'm rich I'm powerful but I never met I never met the king very good good seems good you're right good question is asking why can't Hashem also be in the library and in the music and in the wine and in the food that's the point you're right in order to bring it out the b is describing it and physically the king is on the seventh floor on the sixth flooor spiritually what it means is go to the library but don't get stuck in the library of the library enjoy the wine go eat go hear the music but don't let it become a jail this is not a a a protest against the richness of Life who created Music who created wisdom who created science who created physics you sometimes read some of you may read text at least one of you reads textbooks of Science and physics right so you like high school high school textbooks they're describing DNA okay so I was once reading it he's describing DNA and I finished reading it said where is his ESP spilus why is he why is there no emotion where is his spilus are you are you like it's almost like a like a computer analyzing it don't get stuck in the outer veneer see the Mel you're right you're right and the mush it's very physical so there's a polarity the king is up there so that's the it's da the because of his Simplicity because he's devoid of all of the sophistication he doesn't get deceived by distractions he's looking for the real thing I can get deceived because another person get deceived because because you have so many interesting things about you you know you're an interesting person you're an interesting person is only interesting if you're a person you know when they say he's an interesting person you're an interesting person I'm interested in your interest of your person and was it mean to be a person to be a person means that you can let go of everything that you could be simple that you are simple only appreciates the oh so so so the H has it because he doesn't appreciate anything else he doesn't get stuck the the the the the aser we're talking here rich in terms of of of of wisdom and personality he can get stuck he can get carried away or to put it in other language he can develop so many mechanisms that will substitute for the king if I'm an Oni I don't de I can't develop anything else I don't have anything else I'll give an example somebody who has a very good brain right if he hasn't had attachments as a child if he didn't have a good brain he knows I need attachment but if he has a good brain he compensates he says you know what I'll become a brilliant person and everybody will validate me somebody once told me he was working 18 hours a day in the office and he was barely home with his family I said why do you work so hard you don't have paros he says I have parosa so I said why do you work so hard so he says cuz I need to prove to everybody in the office how valuable I am I want them to know that without me this company is not functioning so we create substitutes so if I have a good brain my brain can become the mechanisms through which I live life but you can't live life with a brain it's like eating a donut with your brain you can't eat a donut with your brain you have to eat a donnut with your taste butts you can't live life with your brain you live life by living life with your soul with your heart with your passion but if I couldn't do that so my brain becomes a substitute for that so now your blessing becomes your jail and that's what we do we take our skills we take our richness and instead of being a vehicle for connection it becomes a substitute for connection you understand what I'm saying don't use your brain so much to understand what I'm saying don't use your brain it's not good if you use your brain it's not good the brain becomes the the brain is a channel it's a gift but it's a channel it's a gift it could become a jail now I become brainy everything is every relationship is intellectualized I have a good computer and the computer says do this don't do this connect this way say this say that there's no person and there's a reason for it I couldn't have authentic connection I didn't get that unconditional love I can't trust me I can't trust somebody else I don't even know who I am so everything is with a brain and it's perfect cuz the brain is nice and for other people who don't know you it's galic you have a perfect life only your soul knows how trapped it is in a jail can be of course the knowing of conscious the conscious of being conscious the consciousness of being Consciousness can be the greatest trap I remember there was what came to and he said how's the feeling so he said right he said it's how does theb feel himself that's how you say it in Yiddish so he said if I feel the self it means I'm not feeling good know your question is already a problem and he said my father-in used to say that a healthy person doesn't feel himself if I'm feeling my pinky right now what does it mean it means there's pain here there's a scratch if I'm feeling my head what does it mean the more you feel yourself the more sick you are when when a body is completely healthy it doesn't feel itself why not I should feel myself no don't fail yourself the reason is this explains because when a healthy body means it's aligned with the soul if it's aligned with the soul it doesn't feel itself because it's a conduit for the soul that's what bitl is self-consciousness self-consciousness doesn't mean I'm healthy it means I'm sick I walk into a room and all I can do is do they like me they don't like me where should I sit uh what are they thinking what am I thinking do I look stupid do I no I don't look stupid no I'm a good guy what's wrong I came late what's wrong with coming late uh you understand what should I do I do and this narrator doesn't exists everybody's smiling some everybody relates to this that have self-consciousness I'm glad I'm not the only mugan in this world the 2-year-old who runs through your dining room Friday night without a pamper and everybody says he's so cute what's his what's what's the mil he's not thinking I'm without a diaper you know it's a I'm say pastors what do I look like my tie is straight it's not straight my glasses are nice they're not nice what do you think about me I'm overweight I'm not overweight I have a long nose I have a short nose I wasn't thinking about that one actually but I'm sure that's also an equation by some people the point is I'm I'm I'm so what's wrong I'm thinking about myself you're not thinking about yourself I'm in a prison myself is not free I can't be alive because the eye is trying to figure out who it is is it's detached alive means you're attached you're connected there's no life without connection when we say I am my own person it's the worst thing to say that what mean you're your own person it's like telling a refrigerator or or or a computer let me unplug you so you could be your own person the computer do me a favor Don't Unplug Me the refrigerator Don't Unplug Me we're all plugged in there's a source of life we're channels for electricity when I'm plugged in I'm a channel the moment it's me it means I'm sick I'm unplugged and I'm looking for energy I'm looking for life and that's what self-consciousness is different than self-awareness awareness of self is not self-consciousness awareness of Self in a good way means the awareness of my role as a channel you know that's what self-awareness is a good thing when we talk about self-consciousness this means that I'm stuck in figuring out to self now we have it we all have that since the atadas atadas means the tree of self-concious that's when and ate from the tree they weren't just eating an apple as King James decided or an estg or a grape it means something much deeper it means they ate the fruit that made them feel self-conscious so of course the first thing is oh we're not wearing clothes oh let's get a suit we're not wearing clothes you're one-year-old two-year-old doesn't mind not wearing clothes why cuz he didn't eat from at some point we eat from the US it's called the ego so now I have to protect it so in every nuda in life it becomes it could become a distraction so it's not that we don't want the gifts we want the gifts but my brain is a tool it's not a destination my heart is a tool my wisdom every talent you have it's one of the talents of the king so that's what the says he made it into the king he has that that that utter Simplicity as somebody once said but really really it's p the self-consciousness what am I going to be a simple person yeah the B of the becomes his grace he becomes his grace he's not distracted unless he's distracted by the fact that he's not distracted look I'm not distracted I don't have an ego I'm enlightened I'm Mr enlightened I went on a trip and I'm better than everybody else cuz I know everybody's in security and I am emancipated at [Laughter] last and sometimes that's the worst ego in the world you know why cuz it actually has some truth to it you may actually know a lot of things or feel a lot of things and it could become sometimes the biggest trap you know the biggest trap is when I think I left a trap and now I'm good and everybody else is crazy I'm the only normal person so here we come to the what does the for this is what he davens for he's daving don't let me get distracted by anything else in other words Mish so now we'll understand why said Dy yours you have a G that I don't feel it's Dy it's like I'm looking forar I'm looking for reward you know I'm looking for the ultimate Bliss obviously that's not what he wanted but he said even D it's yours it's a manifestation of yours it can also be I I can get stuck over there because it's beautiful because it's D I know that it's the King's Music I know that it's the king's Treasures I know that it's the king's wisdom and that's where I get stuck says even the real even if I know that all the other parts of the palace are also an extension of his richness but I want that's why he said Dy yours cuz even it's not it's not the core it's not the essence I want you but then he has one more word Alain I want you what's you alone you is you usually with I want you alone not anybody else you already said I want you what's Al I want you the way you're alone that's what I want I want you in the essence the way you are alone and that's where everything is one everything is you he's alone there you cannot be with him because he's alone excellent question if he's alone so I'm going to be there and that that brings it all out that you're part of that M that at your deepest core you are that an M yeah you got it that that's the whole v he's asking a Vala question if it's you alone so it's not me it's you it's not me so so obviously you can't get there I want to be with you in a room when you're there alone [Laughter] sorry excellent question I want to be with you when you're alone well sorry if I'm alone you can't be there you know that's who I really am this is what the soul really is this is what Al was saying I want it because this is who I am anything else is not who I am who are you in your deepest space you are there's no separateness in your deepest core you are the anoid Mado cuz anoid Mado doesn't exclude it includes you that's what doesn't mean there's nothing besides him and therefore what happens to all of us I don't know jump in the lake but the lake is also him okay find another Lake that's not the f means really what do you mean what about me you melt into and and and that's the that's the ultimate with you it's not like but I want to be creative uh who I what do I say you have to make your mark on the world you don't want to make your mark on the world I want to make a mark on the world when I when I'm looking for something I'm looking for for for for to justify my separateness so maybe you you could give me a Noel prize I could make my mark on the world in the deepest Soul you want you got you want to make his mark on the world and you are that you are an extension of that paradoxically it makes you the most creative person because you're Creator creativity comes from Creator creativity when you are the Creator you're the most creative person when you're plugged in fully the electricity will be channeled through you that's not the issue this is not an invitation to uh self-deprecation and self-loathing on the contrary it's the absolute liberation of any burden of self that actually distracts you from being who you really are nobody forced outter to say this this he wasn't saying this to get Gaden like you know I'm going to say such a good thing I'll get more the whole V is even G could be a trap even d g is not the [Music] a he's saying M includes the Trap and the ego and while it so the moment I realize that my ego and my trap on my part of it's not a trap and it's not an ego and it's not you're right you're right and what that means practic is when I realize that my ego and my trap and my MIT and my coping mechanisms are my journey in order to work through it's tuck and not an ego and it's not a trap and it's not and that's the point that I don't have to dismiss any part of the palace I don't say the king is on the eighth floor and the first floor is garbage and the second floor is garbage no the second floor and the third floor are a preparation they're the way up but don't stop don't get stuck and and this this is's deepest safety this is I don't have anything in heaven even heaven doesn't talk to me cuz it can also be a trail a trap how can Heaven be a trap it could be a bigger trap than Earth much bigger a real person what potato chips is going to take you what's but black and white a big building so you'll have another $3 million so what's going to happen ganen that's a trap okay big deal I understand for me it's a big to wasn't such a that's different that's that's a good trap it's a holy trap it's Heaven that even Heaven won't tempt me why because I want you and what's you I want you you in the core in the essence without anything Gaden is a Radiance that's already condensed in order for the soul to experience it and therefore it could be a [Music] trap inv to the king room has to hug you or yeah can't make can't yeah yeah yeah the amazing thing is like person can ask himself who am I to be with you and actually the answer is who am I if he finds in himself that God that he realize he can do this yeah so who am I is the biggest you know when we Define our yeah anything yeah yeah and not nothing yeah yeah that you go from one level to another level to another level isn't everything one so therefore even eating the potato chips is like being all way in the top floor all the same you're right if everything is really one so even when I'm eating the potato chip it's that oness you you you're right but but we have to be honest with our process in other words if I look at it from a bird's eye view it's true but if I'm stuck right in a narcissistic moment or in a moment of anger or in a moment of terrible frustration or in a moment of self-loathing or emotional disassociation I could easily fool myself by saying it's and start worshiping my my my jail and that's where it's very important to un blend to to to to realize this is a moment of stuckness and it's painful one day I'll realize that this stuckness if I if I remained conscious and honest and vulnerable and authentic this was God was in that stuckness but it will only happen if I have the vulnerability to work it through so you're right at the end of it it's all one but for me to be able to get to that place I have to acknowledge the fragmentation the Brokenness and the pain if I don't honor the pain I'm not going to find the Oneness behind the pain because really what I'm saying is that the pain is not part of it so it's not an m means you have to honor every stage because that stage is part of it there's no spiritual bypassing because spiritual bypassing actually means I can't deal with this I'm not going to deal with it I'm going to make believe it doesn't exist I'm going to repress it I'm going to suppress it so paradoxically in order to be able to reach that space of Oneness all the parts have to be part of it and that means the obstacles themselves need to be honored in the sense that this is what I need to work through now this is where I am I'm in pain that's a good question can you be alive with that moment you could be vulnerable and authentic at that moment and that's life alive no he's saying can you be alive I can be vulnerable and authentic where I am and and an authenticity there's always life in other words I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm being open I'm not going to allow the blockage to take over here that's the oh oh yeah I think because oh oh oh oh that's a good question uh yeah that's where R andu comes in that's where R and comes in it there's a pain over there the pain is that once a person even starts tasting this there's this inner inner temptation of letting go of everything but then there's something even deeper and that is realizing that I'm a and that hasem wants me here this is not a the Tsum is not a game it's a mission and to abandon that mission is really abandoning my deepest connection and relationship yes there's a part of me that just wants to cease to be and in fact it's the truest part of the Soul it doesn't want to be because being is painful and yet the soul goes deeper and says yeah the has an expression the doesn't have to be more than the master like this a Jew wants to cease to be but then you and made a world he wanted he went out of his Infinity to create a world you're also allowed to go out of your Infinity so that's where despite the pain the person comes back and because knowing that that's the mission so there's a there there there's a joy is it possible feeling notal excellent question do we live horizontally or vertically right so I think we want to live vertically but in order that the vertical relationship shouldn't exclude any part of life we have to be able to experience the horizontal Dimension as well is yeah Ro is the vertical and and and that flow and then sh is is that ability to be horizontal and you know south and north and east and west right are horizontal and then there's Shay and that's vertical like by right it says when by the you think about the seven heavens and earth and the dollar is the four sides of the world so there both elements is not right right the experience of this is is needless to say actually when the de said the species to cry pretty intensely cuz the experience of this is very it's the ultimate Liberation and it's the ultimate Bliss but the depth of the Liberation and Bliss is that there's not even an IOD of ego in other words even D ganen which is pretty Godly it's your ganen I'm not stuck in the palace because of my ego I'm stuck in the palace because it's your Palace right it's D it's D I'm not impressed bya because the cougle I'm not looking for the coug of I'm looking for D but it's the way I could relate to you in a way that nourishes my soul and that's what is is a place where souls are nourished nobody is nourished because it's Alaine it's it's aaine it's so it's letting go of everything even letting go of your spiritual self of your transcending and the AL says and this is what a is this is what aish is you know we talk about the challenge between the physical and spiritual between ego and selflessness between narcissism and a hasem that's not what we're talking about here d g is not narcissism D ganen is not selfish but for the soul it's a betrayal it's a betrayal and why could Al say this why could the only reason he could say this because he felt that Hashem felt like that about him if he wouldn't feel that Hashem feels that about him he wouldn't be able to say this Tasha you can't if I could give an example of people you can only tell somebody my deepest desire in life is to be one with you if you feel that they're there that they feel that way if if you're going to get a response like I'm not even sure I'm interested in you that emotion is going to go dead very very fast that hasem feels like that about him was inia they had their a uh like 110 couples around more than 200 couples that came these are parents very very religious but not religious it's religious you know next level and very G or whatever you want to call it I'm not going to give names you know here even the like really really very very you know and what brought them together that they have a child or children who left yish or are struggling with a lot of different things and they came now right when I came and I understood the courage of these people it's not like America the C that they could come and everybody knows that they're there and some people you know rashash and and some of over there like it was it was it was courageous of them to be there so uh so somebody asked a question ER of shabas they have a daughter this person has a daughter and the daughter is struggling for years and he developed this this you know perspective that thankfully has been embraced by many people in the last years that you don't throw out your child from the house and you don't sever your connection on the contrary and he said but he's looking for the results he doesn't see any results he's close and close and close to her and he gives her and then shows love and his wife does but like when does the when does the insurance policy expire like you're telling me that's the path that's the path and he what's the Tas what's the Tas there's no Tas he wants the he wants to see the product he wants to see transformation that was the question he did his part right right does and he says and it's hard for him it's hard for him it's emotionally painful huh so I don't so I was they asked me to answer it and I just I didn't know I realiz I I I I felt what he was I felt it I I I understood what he was saying very deeply and I needed to I I wanted to say something I don't came into my head this this this MIM this word from the Al and I said it over and I said I want to apply this to our life right now what what does what does this look like you know it's it's good words and it's gak and it's inspiring what does it look like what does it look like on the ground tell me what it looks like what what's Al teaching us what do you really want what does a soul really want that this Mish no strings attached I'm I want to be completely one with you Alain without any need for any validation and even experience of it cuz that itself is a distraction of the truth so I want to be a complete channel for you and only there will I be happy why will only there I be happy because the deepest happiness and Bliss of the soul is when I'm not there that that's the deepest Bliss cuz you're one when we talk about I want to be happy I want to be Bliss I'm I'm already stuck no you don't want to be happy you don't want to be Blissful it's it's not you you don't know yourself because I think I'm separate I want to be at Bliss the real Bliss is that I'm you're not looking for that and paradoxically that's the deepest Bliss cuz that's who you are there's no Bliss without being who you are so I told him I said you're a you're an you're a good Jew you're still looking for ganen and you want your child to be in Gaden and you want to be in Gaden you want a house in Gaden and I get it and I'm not that it's selfish but your child is giving you an opportunity to actually go much deeper to actually be one that's what your child is giving you an opportunity it's a different opportunity and it's an opportunity that in order to experience you have to let go of of everything else you have to let go of every last vestage of ego including your spiritual ego I said other people I'm nice to my kid I'm loving and 3 years later we go down the to a Lakewood Family and we live happily ever after and now he finished the first cycle of and if you would have seen him when he's 17 and they lived happily ever after and everybody should experience that Bliss I said your child is giving you a bigger gift a much bigger gift and the bigger gift is you oh Gaden look I was good I was selfless I got rid of my ego and I got Gan you did not getting G you don't have ganen in your house you have gam in your house but your geh what's what you're calling geh may be Atmos you have hasem it's it's him it's his it's his Gan your Gan may be much more ganaden than other people's Gad there was once a he once said I would rather be G the company of certain people than in ganen with the company of other [Laughter] people you have to be a to say that you understand another person wouldn't say such a thing [Laughter] you [Laughter] understand that's the the question is where's the [Music] EMS if the EM is in fine SP think no he made gam also who do you think made gam you think some company made ganam some people's geham is much deeper than other people's G because they don't go away from the truth they don't go away from the nuda so I told this father I don't have an answer for you I know I know I don't know how it's going to happen I hope everything works out amazingly but did the spirit that you're having is because you're still living in Detachment don't you don't have to let go it's really Letting Go allowing I I'm going to say it a little dramatically let go for the need of being detached and then your geham will be more Blissful than other people's Gade I think that's what it means practically practically in very simple English it means when you're connecting to this person really what does Hashem really want that's it in the moment not about results not what my family is going to look like all my friends are marrying over their kids to the best families in the world why am I the only loser and even if I graduate from that but what's theas all these words are ganaden words and they're good words they're holy words we cherish them it's good to make a about G it's not a bad thing didn't say there's no ganen of course there's ganen but the biggest ganaden you know what the biggest ganaden is not to think about Gad that's the biggest Gad huh surprise you're waiting you know what's a she's giving me so much pain I don't know what theas is why you looking for a Tas just connect saying accepting accepting your ganim as Divine and Truth is much deeper than many people's ganeden because ganeden could be a place of separateness it's a place where we sit and enjoy life ultimately that means you're separate what what do you have to be you don't need give yourself a gift this daughter is giving you a gift and it's in each of Our Lives it's a very very deep nuda not to go away from the Oneness even for a moment not to go away from that and not to go away from moment mean the moment I'm starting to say but what's going to be and my family and me and this and Nas and even if the Nas is not selfish it's goodas you're not a selfish person he wants his daughter to give a good life he's not he's not looking for that they should say that he's a good father you have those fathers too that's Tak that's again you have narcissistic it's also not narcissistic you want good for your family I get it we all want that these are human emotions as normal human I want to fit in yeah I want to feel like a successful father and I also care about my kids I want my daughter to have a good life but it can all become a distraction me say to make no besides what is the of right now at this moment without any strings attached including rewards and Paradise andar and even the feeling that I did the right thing you don't even need that because that will also be a distraction and your daughter is challenging you and helping you become a real Jew and I told maybe it's possible you're looking for her to be connected to God and maybe she's trying to tell you tati maybe you have to become connected to God maybe maybe you have to become connected to God she's saying it maybe through tough language our kids always you know they do what's it called the School of Hard Knocks it's called the School of Hard Knocks she's not using this you know she's not using this holy language but maybe that's what she's telling you and in every person's life that that that that's how it's translated and that's called that's that means I'm not living in MIT not that there's no there is a MIT so so now we go back to's question right you say everything is one when I touch this space everything becomes one then I have to I don't have to let go of anything because if I'm not looking for results if I'm not looking for control even spiritual control and spiritual results then everything is it everything is its result if I'm looking for results and control so then I need this and I need that and I need that it has to look this way and look way Gaden has to have a nice Ambiance we have to put in an air conditioner we have to get rid of you know the smells but if I'm looking for where is that it's here it's right here right now in this moment I it's a moment of pain and it's a moment of emptiness and it's a moment of difficulty and it's a moment of challenge you think God is afraid of your pain you understand if I'm looking for G then yeah then it's a process if I'm looking for it's not a process it's an event it's here it's now yeah yeah yeah is not LMA G is I want reward it's called theas the in this m is that even G could be D G and it's still not D Gaden is already much deeper I'm not looking for ganen I'm looking for you in ganen that's the condition of the I'm not looking for G I'm looking for you g Dy Gade means you I want your G but I want you and ganen it's not yeah it's not Gan so you say so it means you don't go to ganaden not you don't go Gan ganen is not a dist ganen is also we have nothing against ganeden by the way you come out of the sh what do RAB why why say today he say it's much better to go to geham than ganen yes so that's true I said that because some gehams are much better than other gadens that's the MS but that's not in Thea we have nothing against ganaden as long as it's not as long as it's not a [Music] distraction and all real relationships happen in this moment because what's a real relationship that's the once you let go of Gade now we could connect now we could connect as long as there's an agenda there's no connection I'm in my agenda and you're in your agenda even if it's holy agendas the O Theus the oang the letting go of everything Could Happen only where in so now my heart just lets go completely what is it it melts away into Oneness and I don't need anything else because at that that point there's no I and this is what a looks like the whole V is not was he was on a higher level we're not talking about levels he was on a higher level I'm not on a higher level I like potato chips it's true he was on a higher level no question completely B but that's not the nuda that's not his nuda he's on a high level let will eat coule and and have a h here in the kitchen or soup and he was looking for for Atmos he's describing the Quint essence of the Soul that's what he's going whose Soul everyone's Soul ah you can't be thankful enough for this huh you can't be grateful enough for a person who is a channel for such uh for such truth you can't buy this for money you know what I [Laughter] mean even Warren Buffett's money can't buy this it says in if somebody's going to offer all their money in order to take away this love they're gonna denigrate him okay we'll take a little break here the next Monday morning we'll finish the mimer everybody have a beautiful but I tell you the true story e to a party of a billionaire at 50th anniversary and he rented the Henry I think the eth uh palace in England next to London yeah so story of Balto I saw it and was my eyes the first floor was gorgeous just invitations the second floor was well all the frence and Essence were there and the next next the the the palace goes like this like narrow Nars Nars Nars where he meets the king meets like a important people more important people wi uh VPS and then his bedroom his bedroom and then the last room you know what last last place I went to the end because everybody's get stuck there I was curious what it is the last room was his toilet was the bucket so and now when you were telling me the story I said you know what why the bucket and it must be the musal must be correct so I know why the buck because that's where the the is oh part part of that truth so that's why you don't cover it very good so I saw it with my own eyes the Henry the a the last room was that wow b b very good and nobody goes there nobody goes there I was the only one went through the whole party I I because I was so fascinating was the palace it was just the people were people were stuck in the in the in champagne and there was a dance party how the was as thank youon tell your mother tell your mother that I'm happy that I helped put her to sleep sometimes it's a big to help a Jew sleep wow amazing thank you so much I mean this is like it's true I and I understand the pain of that eat personally yeah and uh and uh it's it's so excruciating sometimes you say even stupid things I wish I would never happen like this and that but the truth of the matter is accepting it it's actually yeah that's that's the pain wants us to go through just be able to exactly [Music] exactly