M2U00022

uh okay i'll do this quickly so they asked what's the cash on that again kiddisk uh but there were three billion billion who believe differently but they're all stupid all the glam all the christians they're all temple they're all stupid only in evergreen they put kasha billions they're impressed with the numbers they are now in the world two billion miles who are 100 percent sure they're the ems there are about 1 billion christians there are 600 million hindus and buddhists 14 million harry krishnas 12 million mormons how many yiddin are there that really believe in unique liquid but really let's say three million so three billion in them the three million game over right what's the thirds the kids are impressed with numbers so many billion and smart ones they're phds and geniuses and philosophers there was his questions the embassy is uh there's four good ideas that i've heard four great people i heard there was from one of the shits i really heard from him one was rebel one was the alta venus one was the red down the radam is me the neo mechanic so we'll do me first by the way uh you know humor is extremely important the care of her high kim and kyrie kraven and marriage very very important because what it does is it levels the playing field in other words you take a friday yid driving down 13th avenue an air of yom kippur and he sees men swinging chickens over their head look at it from their point of view you make a joke it shows yeah i swing a chicken over my head i'm on the ball i'm normal i'm right you're wrong let me show you why it creates a you're on the ball you're normal it's also very important in marriage okay in any event so you have a clash of three billion people i don't give a three trillion people numbers or believers are irrelevant it doesn't matter how many people believe in the story why watch this because i'm going to prove in five seconds with irrefutable logic we can prove that there are billions of people walking around this world they believe this story happened a long time ago and they're very smart a lot of these people and we know by the they're wrong it never happened because look one billion christians hold yoshika is the greatest whoever said that so when the muslims say muhammad is the greatest they're all lawyers they're all going to get him other than one billion miles and told that the 1 million christians are going to get him could they both be right at the same time we know if you didn't they're both wrong but forget about that i say the lights are on in this room he says the lights are off we cannot both be right if you're sitting here the smartest christian going in the world and signing the smartest muslim what do you know that at least one of them has a a false messiah do you hear that it's mutually changed they're opposites so i just proved to you that billions of people are wrong man they're geniuses so i don't care how many people we don't care how many people believe a story what do we care about says the the sinners another be showing them not how many people believe in the story but how many people where we're at the story who saw it so the muscle the other 50 people whatever you're you're experiencing me talking to you i go to china tomorrow and i convince one billion chinese that i gave a speech today and for some reason we come to a judge in a court and we have to figure out did i give us did i give a speech what's a strong atheist the 50 people are sitting here saying we saw him give it we heard it well the one billion chinese saying we believe him when he says you see the difference so that's us we don't care how many people uh believe in the story tell me how many people were there which brings us to this without from starbucks so how do you explain talk to all these billions of people how to explain it they all believe so the answer is says when they asked him this question he said imagine you're in a forest and there are lions and bears chasing after they bears chasing after you thousands of people running out of the forest and you come to a fork in the road you come through which way you go right look one way and the bears are right there you look to the right so the altar five thousand people went to the right you look to the left five people you don't know which way to go you have no idea however you have to make a decision and all you know is five thousand went this way five went this way logic dictates you go with the five thousand well i really like it five thousand chose this code it may not be correct but it's five thousand to five i'm going with the five thousand so the alta assume you're about to take the word of the five thousand you suddenly realize you know what these five thousand people are next door to the forest is a special school for everyone for blind people these four thousand million of these people they're blind they're on a picnic they went on a picnic in the forest and they're all being they're all holding hands they're all being led on the first by the first person the teacher who yelled out to them listen there were bears in the forest grab hands were getting out of here so what are the numbers now the author is still five to five thousand it's five to one it's one person who made a decision and he schlepped along four thousand on her nine nine followers you turn around and you go left that's five for one what's the nim show every religion in the world except for us went to the right joshua this one that one they all said believe me trust me god spoke to me and they all followed they just followed us by us it's not my share of it it's not the it's not make sure albania went to the left and said follow me it's three million of our bubbies and zadies who went to the left followed by thirty nine men and a peso seder to us we are they are go you are billions of people following their father their father their father all the way back to one person we are millions of people following our father our father our father all the way back to millions of people that's our mission right okay a lot more to say this but we'll go back there so we have to project confidence in the truth of torah to our children that they shouldn't be impressed by the uh the three billion volume who believe in the narrative however just knowing that tyra's ms is not enough it's not enough well that's alright i'm at bayes and i moved to the three i'm with the athena the second foundation and perhaps the most important one is that our children need to know and need to feel that we have a torah which means we have the instructions for life how to live your life that it's good to be from that that in fact the only sane intelligence way to live your life is to be affirmative i remember in 1977 this is how many years ago long time ago 40 years ago i can't be 40 36 36 okay i remember i was 18. i went to benade rock i went to the vintage survivors of towel i went to his dish i went to see the tissue visions i spent the shot of somebody broke and i was a real american boy whenever i was 18 years old seven 19 or 17 i just i was 17. and i want i went to position and i remember thinking that after the dish at some point the rabbit needs to go home he goes to his house i'm going to stay till the end and walk with him home that's what i did it must have been an hour three o'clock in the morning and everybody went home and the rebels started walking home with his two sons who today they're the rubbers and they have a garlic cabbage and mechanic can we walk behind them i will never forget this the rest of my life this is in the middle of the summer in the neighborhood it's hot the smell of the orange grows i remember that smell a lot of oranges you know the middle of the street stops the business stops you know you know his style he looks up in the sky you know he does the whole okay and then he says like this he says now what was he trying to say because believe me we all we all know from the idiot who are not very happy and they have a lot of sorrows and problems but he's trying to say he's trying to vote that's what we have that's we have to teach our kids we have a terrorist if we are successful in communicating to our children this outlook of the visions of heaven this hour with barak hashem from them is highly likely that they will remain the therapy usher and they'll be inspired and loved yiddish right our children should be intimidated and impressed with it with the glitter of the gas the street we have the coffee society we have nuclear weapons what do they have some ice cream basketball what do they have so in order to fight this problem we have to teach our kids that we have a service claim and we have to inspire them and the only way we can inspire them about shamir satire and memphis is if we ourselves are inspiring and we have to present spectacular and that's thrilling and we have to do with enthusiasm so i want to share with you what i believe from where i sit where i work and i work with people and kids what i consider to be the most important insight a practical approach that we can use to demonstrate to our kids that we have a type of time that we should not be from i believe this is the number one approach bizman jose maybe it wasn't like this uh you know 60 years ago we saw about culture of the housing industry but today the sultan has nuclear weapons and therefore bismarck effective inspiring from parenting will only take place if we parent and teach like salesmen not policemen we have to be salesmen not policemen what's the difference a policeman says you better do this or else you better stop dressing that way or else you better stop listening to this terrible music or else they impose a salesman says here's why you should do this here's why you should not do this this is why this is dress this is why dressing that way is not good for you besides that is uh sir let the policemen take care of that here's why it's counterproductive this is why it's not good for you in sales we all know we have to figure out how do we satisfy the customer we are selling a product well we have to try to convince the buyers to take the product and we are in the business of selling our children a product called yiddish guys we have to figure out the best way to sell toyo and sneeze and learning to block gomorrah and mitsus so some people say tyra sells itself when something has nuclear weapons many times it doesn't sell itself we have to be sailor than that policeman we have to figure out how to get them to want to do this not force bother when i talk about five and six and seven year olds and yeah but older let me give an example what do i mean by being a salesman and not a policeman uh okay this is from my role the the the problems in my world okay so i was speaking in a basic well-known basically where gadolin's granddaughters go to okay i'm teaching 100 12th graders three hours a three hour presentation no teachers three hours i have them sitting at the edge of their seats give them a two minute break not questions so good but because teach torah real the day one is relevant and they want to hear the answers they love it as always when i finish my three-hour presentation half the half the young ladies leave and half stay behind to ask me more questions okay then we're holding on three and a half hours and then finally the principal come down new bonus it's time to go back to class okay and there's always one i call the lingerer there's always one who waits till everybody leaves and then she pours out her heart so this happened uh six years ago seven years ago everybody leaves all the girls leave i'm in this room room three times the size of this room maybe even five phones very big room and i'm standing there and this young lady i'm alone a young lady walks towards me and when she's like six seven eight feet away she starts crying but not stomp crying gut wrenching cries and i become very uncomfortable the whole zack i don't like over here you know you know i'm here alone in this room and you're like she's crying i don't like the whole thing what am i going to do you can run out of the room and i'll share all this so what do i do i said calm down calm down stop crying what's wrong what's the problem by the way this young lady comes from a very very very very harsh of the family extremely cautious she's going to go what's wrong calm down she finally blurts out just hello and crying so wait until she comes in and i go okay what do you mean how are you mahalo shops so let's see what she does she tells me she wears makeup which always let me hear what do you do so she tells me what she does and she's talking about this quote some is too malachos okay what do you do how do you handle it so a policeman says like this a girl 12th grader so whose grandfather is who tells me she's mcconnell shabbos the policeman goes like this do you know who your grandfather is and that's what you do twelve years in beijing you've learned every rashi ramban and then this and that and all the flavor that's one approach here's what i did because i'm a salesman because i want to be effective not right i want her to stop right is your mahal shabbas shame on you that's right that's the truth but i want to be right i want to be effective i wanted to stop i feel good about this so what do i do i go like this i go first of all you're not she saw herself as you know like these reformed jews are driving each other they said you're a wonderful bicycle yeah you're doing them i became a london you know you're doing the my little shop is over you're not in the towel and i said i said like this i said let me ask you something you know there were 39 malachors how are you doing with the other 38 how's the bow rare going how are you getting those watermelon pits adam jarvis oh bro tell me do you get up every shot this morning go over and cook you made a bishop you could oh should i do bishop uh do you take out a pen and you're right i'll probably you walk over to everybody and tie knocks in their shoes i went through 15 16 different malaccas they showed us 38 out of 39 god skit you're having a problem with one law of substitute so i said like this some salesman sales means i wanted to stop i don't want to get her i don't want to be a policeman tell her she's the people that wanted to stop so here's what we're going to do next shabbos it's between you and of course private between you and our college parkville the following shabbos you're committed to me you came to me you committed to me and you'll promise me that you will not do this the following shots between you and our colleagues the following i can't say to her do the law they can't tell someone following shabbos you committed to me you won't do it and that's what i want to do one shot is literally one shot of the legend and then i send him near to hashem you'll overcome i mean there's more to the story that i'm not telling you but in mirror to hashem you'll overcome the states of her and then i said and if you do not and you continue to do what you're doing who loves you you're a wonderful boss israel you can marry a lakewood guy you got lots of kids three years later i get this little card in the mail the proverbial you know you saved my life card she writes dear reverend mechanic do you remember me and she gave me this remember that well guess what it took me a few weeks well guess what it took me a few months but baruch hashem i was then mahalo shabbos again and indeed i married a lakewood boy and i had a son and we made a bris this week i was hoping she would have written that they named them after me so what happened here that was effective the same thing in everything in life no requirements that's all right because when i get married you want to get marriage just remember don't be right be effective what does that mean we all know the men sitting here when we have a lot like this with with our wives we are right because we have every proof and riot from this from that she's bringing writers from eight years ago that are most shy as to what we're talking about now and we're right and we show them remember we should see and therefore this and therefore that and therefore that's why i'm right oh shkaya so we won we were right were we effective no effective is you want to have a good yacht you want to you know a good marriage don't be rightly effective so i have a lot of jokes okay um don't be right be effective so through here that's what the salesman does i know in my world they're dealing with the different bases they have to have a big heaps of heart problemation music i wouldn't even go for a spartan state they don't have the aids of her their stickler problem so how do you handle that there's a lot of them good kids they listen they listen to this stuff and you fail at least when i was growing up whenever we grew up on and sherman and garfunkel if you know what i'm talking about you know a nice little simple stuff today the growing up is the family music i have this all the time usually the main life the boys you know that they come over and they feel so schmutzic and they feel horrible they come over to me i listen to this music they feel so horrible and there's self images as is when i'm a shakespeare so what are you gonna do so a policeman says the policeman says uh-huh you listen to that music do you know what that does to you in the shama listen to the words so schmuck's bad disgusting as if the girl is going to say boy no rob i didn't think of that you're so right i'm going to stop now no so i do the same thing i tell them look i tell them when i was growing up 40 years ago i also had a hate sorry for this i think tom was a little different now than it was 40 years ago ever i don't tell him oscar oscar tell him it's not good for you you know that it's not good for you that's why you're coming to me so let's figure out how can we be effective here let's pick two days and seven uh the six days a week that you're not gonna listen the other four days whatever you do it's your business you're committed to me two days we pick two days monday and wednesday no listening to this stuff call me back in two weeks we'll take on another day or maybe a few hours in the day slowly but surely we'll try to work for this after the hour right because i'm a salesman not a policeman please do this terrible stuff you're listening to about the straw doesn't listen to us but that won't get her to stop to give him a servant and then i tell her but if you do not overcome this hate zorro and continue to listen to this you're a wonderful boss i'm thrilled yes and you dobbing do you make breakfast do you drink pizza so your mama screw fine in everything you might want you like being thrown you want to marry clay will mine you want to play with the volley so you have to see tower let's work it but if you fail you're wonderful you're trying now obviously if a kid comes to me and says i have to say it's a hard to eat on your kipper i don't say okay let's try when your kipper yeah what no they that keep them do you know the mom is you know doing you know the the a little balance okay let me conclude a few more things of teaching tyrus value you have to be a salesman okay we'll finish with this built into our messiah and our lifestyle building wonderful opportunities to accomplish what i'm talking about of inspiring them and giving them the beauty of youtube so let me share with you five things quickly what i'm sharing with you again these are these are built into our lifestyle and our messiah how to give over to our kids i love you these five things i'm telling you and not that i thought of them but rather after interviewing who knows a thousand kids who went off to derek or who were very angry about the other strikes hearing from them they always took the opportunity after they helped them by the way if you get in front of parents what would you tell them to do you hear what i'm saying so here's what i picked up number one we have to adore our children we have to adore them that means you have to tell them you love them my sheriff gets so nervous he's really european when i tell him these things you gotta take that's the world of building you gotta tell them you have to say it you have to tell your little girl that you love them hundreds of kids have told me that they cannot remember a single time that they were demonstrably loved by their parents oh you kiss saying of them hundreds of kids they don't remember ever and they need to hear it constantly now you got to be normal you can't go over to your 18 year old daughter every one hour and tell you you just can't do that you got to be normal but my kid every one of my kids cares for me at least at least i would say twice a day for sure once twice a day what tell i'm so proud you're my kid i'm so proud that you're my child i have a little i'm just gonna have a a 12 year old boy and he's a big kid already he's 12 years old uh i went i go visit him in camp every friday he says to me this past friday goes abba you're going to have to cut the cord you give me an expression in your biblical court you have to cut record i'm doing fine i'm 12 years old i know but i take him to the tears every day i take him to sheep every day on my way to work every day the same thing he's in the car five minute ride when he gets that he goes i go like tom this was the best five minutes of my day i don't do that every day but every other day he rolls his eyes but he knows he knows an under sugar over him and every one of my kids they have to know that you will do anything for them i once overheard my daughter saying my father would we haven't wrapped around our finger it'll do anything for us good let me think that so you have to tell them you have to tell them this is what kids are missing today when you're in the the way it was 30 40 60 years ago made people much more healthier than they didn't need it as much they needed today to physical affection yeah you have to kiss your children you have to kiss your children how much normal but you got to do it you got you really have to do it you have to give them physical hugs and kisses okay now i don't know what your min hug is i'll just tell you don't don't raise your hands okay how many of you give a broccoli to your kids to shop this table friday night now there's a lot of different hugging here so i would like to say that this if it's not human hook it should become your mid of it and now if if there's a problem with it in the oil emissions i take it upon minus sharma i take it up i'm saying this publicly if there's anything wrong we're not 100 the savior if you're giving the brotherhood to your kids i think they were a minor shaman it is so important how many kids about people i had in my shop has tapered and when they see me giving a brother they start crying they never story they grow up in dysfunctional homes or problems or whatever you give abroad this is a minivan straw there are some that don't have this medicine why not stuff you say something like this they say uh but even how you do it no no quickies say it slowly add something nice you look wonderful thank you for helping mommy this week something to add something whisper in the ear and it's also the only time i could get near my 19 year old son to give him a kiss otherwise he'll mama stab me or kill me they need 19 year old son and now my finish is i think it's a fish why can't the women do that why can't the whip why can't the the mothers give their children a bracha at the shops i have over 200 letters in my office from from women grow to me and after they heard me say this and they started doing it it was it it's kevalic in terms of the clinically children of the relationship now the question is do the kids come to you or do you go to the kids so it's backloggers me and my medicine she helped me go to the kids i hold they're spreading the melon i said here they come to me so that's what we do i sit there the kids come to me each one gets a brother i say something nice and my wife goes around to each of the kids so i would like to suggest that this is a very wonderful thing to do i know it's devolving if you don't do it and you start it's a little strange in the beginning the kids will make a joke but then do it give the kids a drop i'll say it with the brother you seem to care and say something nice and give them the show physical affection the shabbos table here's the most important thing i want to say it is well known in my work when i speak to my cover who also do this work you get calls every day hi my kids going off there is over there or is from but doesn't want to dive and doesn't want to learn issues so i asked questions there are three or four immediate questions that i guess i'm not going in order but is this a uh intact home they're divorced here are both parents married good is there a diagnosed learning disability does your child have a diagnosed learning disability because if yes that means many other things then at some point right in the beginning i will ask describe to me your javascript because it's well known that the microcosm in every family comes out at the shop this table if i was invisible and i sat at your shabbos table give me one job no one else had no guests just you and your kids and i'm there invisible give me one shopping table some family's a little bit more complicated on the two i will be able to tell you basically what is going on in this family what's the relationship with the parents basically the parents to the kids the kids together it all comes out of the shopper's table that's the bottom line and therefore we have to present to our children the most wonderful shabbos table that you can give them the shabbos table has to be an oasis of serenity no reprimanding no yelling we do that enough during the week i can't tell you how much i have to hold the bottom of my table you know and not do quiet and guess what everyone thinks you know mechanic i'm getting up here i'm talking about the beauty of the shopper's table let me tell you about my chocolate thing yeah i get out to say kinnish with all the cup honest and one kid at the end is hitting the side of the glass with a knife doesn't stop it this kid's kicking this one's chairs the chair is touching his chair right this one got a bigger piece of power this is all normal they stick their finger in the pickle into the water this is all normal guess what people don't talk about because they're embarrassed this is not obviously the kid is swinging from the chandelier you don't say shave don't swing finishing but this is what goes on and this is normal the kids the kindle but if you prepare for the shopping table i know growing up my father how he prepared for that chocolate table how he prepared for that peso sailor and for that soak of the first two nights the kids aren't interested in hearing you know a deep knowledge that they they don't you gotta get into what they want what does a seven year old wanna hear a ten year old they want you how do you get them think like them what's going to interest them they like stories interesting stories you just think there's so much out there you can buy do they leave the table you can't keep them there for hours so i have a rule in my house you want to leave the table first you have to ask number two is it has to be between the plates the fish in the soup the soup and then and i have to see you you can't go to the basement i have to see you so they go a few feet away into the living room or over there in the kitchen right there they're part of this they're part of the shopping fish see them they're playing with the little menchies on the floor but you can't expect them to set the table for hours and hours that's my opinion and many other others so shabbos is the time when you connect with your children not friends or guests we have a new thing at least in my community and inviting friends and couples inviting friends i'm not going to talk about these issues and all that but their children are totally left out so for example i've had not now but in the past commissioner bali chuva people not from they come to my table they are not participants they are observers you know the difference when i have guests they're not they're not they're observers so at the end watch how i feel with tish watch how i relate to my kids watch how i relate to my wife watch what goes on watch the sim club watch me beat the competition and they said the end and observe have a friday or something they're coming from they're observing i was i talked to them but they're not the anchor and the kids get their seats this is their seats they're welcome no matter who comes very very important and the final thing is we have to be involved in their lives all right personally every single one of my kids daughters and sons i know when their next test is what it's about i follow up how'd you do this and that where they going what i'm involved in they're alive and they know i am involved at all times and i'm interested you gotta ask them be involved show that and when they talk to you it's very important especially little kids look in their eyes when they talk to you even if you're thinking about 60 other things like maybe they don't know that look in their eyes when they talk to you which is shiva little eight-year-old kid would wanna say funny look in their eyes when they talk not you know whatever it is all over the place make sure that you march of them so the bottom line is and i conclude with this during the years that our children are growing up our most important objective our our job as a parent is to make our home an enjoyable place to be it has to be more attractive than the competition and the gus than the videos and the iphones and the ipods they're attractive but we have to beat them i know in my family shabbos tissues and after benching that's even more of a schmuck because they have the bench and that's where we bring out the gary nim and then the licorice and and and all the and all the photo albums and my kindle i can look and say look that's when i was skinny you know and we talked and shoes and isn't that smooth you do not ask especially a boy about her now how was your day no chris you know what he's gonna answer what's he gonna answer but i'll say when you ask a girl how is your day she comes up for air three hours later but a boy you have to ask very specific what did you do what did you do during recess uh were you a quarterback or receiver how many touchdowns did you get what did you learn by remy did he ask how many kids did he call during you got the details and get them to talk to you very important the third one we don't have any time i told you the three of wouldn't the third omit is that they the children have to identify with the ammonia and that's for another time they have to understand that the jewish people are the greatest nation ever to exist on this planet what other nation could go through a holocaust and go through crusades look at us look at us growing and growing and growing and i'll conclude we could i said every five times we can provide our children with these and still fail we could do everything right and we could fail and we could fail in 10 seconds when we're referring to here is we have to protect our children we have to protect our investment even after everything we did we have to protect them and one thing i could talk about the internet we all know about that i could talk about this for an hour i will say it in 60 seconds any parent who allows his son or daughter teenage son or daughter to have access to a computer without a filter is vicious you should be you are a terrible parent you should be put in jail because your child is normal and healthy and maybe young so in the mechanic home if you could have no internet cabal like if you could get away with it in my home it's very simple there are there have to be two two computers two laptops number one it's in the kitchen i've been to homes i was in england in the home couldn't believe from the nata i couldn't believe it i'm an 18 year old son who has a computer in his room where you can lock the door a little single night alone how crazy can you be so a they have to be in a public place in the kitchen we have two laptops number two there's only one person who has the password to get into the computer mrs mechanic my wife only her so if i get up at 3 o'clock in the morning i want to go downstairs to get a drink i can't go on the computer or if my son comes home from heimerlin early 12th grade comes home early because the brother was sick that day so they all got out of early comes home we're all at work you lead us to this little 12th grade boy alone in the house with a computer he can't get on because my wife had to turn that computer over and she had the password although recently i'm hearing from different about women problems with women too so now they have a new thing the husband has half the password the wife has the other half so they have to be there at the same time so one has to be the public area two only the wife has the um only the wife has the password three the most filter there are all types of filters you do your research the simplest is k9 it's for free you download it you've done something down you can see there's talk to me about a different time and then you do all this and you protect your children the bottom line is on offense and we are scoring points the outside world won't have a chance our children have to know the absolute conviction that we belong to the ahmedifter we're part of the wonderful jewish people and we have a tyrus emis and we have a tyrus saying and the terror is beautiful and being froome is beautiful and then after all of this we have the darwin a lot a lot of darkening and so service and if you do all of these things we could be we could be assured that the champions bars our children would love yiddish thank you