Living With Emunah (Part 321) - It's Not the Grade, It's the Effort

this morning Shear is also sponsored by David Block in memory of his brother Bradley and his parents Baya and Roy block and Elana benan first year site of her father very very special man who lived with and selflessly helping others b h in honor of his wife schul hak's birthday very happy birthday to schula should be a great year and lastly she is dedicated in memory of my beloved Aunt Mrs Mali Lazar Esther malab basmu my beloved Aunt lived with a this amuna her husband my uncle passed away very suddenly on an air of sucus of a massive heart attack out of nowhere sitting over a table learning a safer she passed away AR of yum Kipper in both their cases their family didn't get to set a proper Shiva she was a tremendous Beacon of amuna a source of a lot of light and strength and Faith as she suffered for several years with her illness before passing away but she continues to inspire me and my family so our sheer is in her memory as well okay as always we're going to begin with emails and get back into the beautiful teachings of Mor I want to thank everyone who sends in the emails I don't get a chance to read them all in the shear but I do read them all in fact my whole rashash Shasha was one of those emails which I think you'll agree with me was an incredibly powerful email of the person who October 7th changed her entire perspective from The Challenge of her child with the bone illness to saying at least I know where my child is and I can hug them and the whole perspective was a powerful email so thank you please continue sending the emails whether I'm able to read them in the she or not let's start dear Rabbi Goldberg it was last Mo shabas when our 19-year-old son called to tell me he'd be going into Lebanon along with his pluga with his unit to describe the depth of emotions is impossible I knew that I needed air and headed out for a walk by myself needing a big injection of amuna I tuned into the latest episode of your podcast it went straight to my heart and I came back stronger and ready to take this n on this test on the way I got through rash knowing that my son was in Lebanon with no way to communicate with him or receive any update was literally picturing him with a parachute on strapped to a telling myself he's on the biggest adventure with his best partner I continue to hold into this image to give me strength and my son continues his mission may we see N Flow in our personal lives our Collective lives so we D in for him and pluga his unit as well and last year we spoke about the time that we went skydiving and when you have a tandem dive instead of panicking and say I'm heading towards Mother Earth I'm gonna crash burn and die you say you know someone's got my back who knows what they're doing it's all going to be okay and the same is true in life I'm on an adventure I'm on a ride I'm flying through the air maybe sometimes a 100 miles an hour and it feels like I'm heading straight into a collision but if we turn around and remember somebody's got our back we're flying through life tandem we're connected and attached to Hashem then we can let go and enjoy the ride that's the image that she had we D in for her for her son for all those who are fighting in Lebanon and thank you for sharing that's what got her through rashash can get us through so much as well next email next email want to share some since I started listening to theun I've been trying to find ways to incorporate the lessons into my daily life I've been making an effort to point out the amuna moments and hugs from Hashem especially to my kids hoping they'll absorb these lessons as well on Sunday my 5-year-old daughter hurt her arm nothing serious but on Monday morning it's still hurt her shoes have a zipper that's a little tricky and she she usually tries but can't get it zipped on her own so I ended up doing it for her Monday morning however she came to show me that she had zipped it herself and she said quote mommy look it was easy for me to zip my shoes today Hashem did it just for me because he know my arm is hurting if I would have tried harder it would have hurt my arm it was a small moment but it made me so happy to see that my kids are absorbing the lessons I try to put into action for them so A beautiful example that we can trickle down we can trickle down again I can't encourage you strong strongly enough have a family hasus WhatsApp group share the stories little ones like I was able to put my shoe on on my own and I didn't hurt my arm to the wink and the hug and the nod from Hashem even using that language we can all use that language there are these little things all the time the wink the nod the HUD from Hashem our kids came down for for Yan and they were scheduled to come later this week they moved it to yesterday because of the hurricane and they were able to move the flight and the flight left on time and they flew with three kids three and under and that's not easy but they got two rows to themselves so again that goes in the WhatsApp group Hashem thank you it's a nod it's a wink it's a hug there are no coincidences that the empty seats on the plane happen to be near them it's not chance it's not random it's not coincidence so if we live our life with our eyes open and we look around we can feel that hug and we need hugs so bad who doesn't need a hug you need hugs so badly and there's no one better to get a hug from than he gives the best hugs he gives the best hugs whatever the best hug means to you he gives he's the source of all hugs he's the original hugger OG hugger the OG hugs are from Hashem so you feel that hug so you could go through life and you could say what a coincidence we had seats isn't that nice or you could say thank you it's a moment it's a wink it's a nod it's a hug and when we use that vocabul we use that language I've been having this back and forth correspondence with a professor a woman who's a teacher who's a teacher and a professor and she's struggling because she's always taught very high level high futin the language of of certain segments of Orthodoxy you know ontological axiomatic using High language and Concepts and and to talk like like we're little children Hashem loves you Hashem is winking at you Hashem hugs you thank Hashem talk to Hashem did you see Hashem she's struggling like is that really us does that really have a basis is that really come on like we're intellectually Superior we don't talk like that we talk about the evidence and the proofs and the anthological andm is we talk about you know the big fancy words so I'm trying to encourage and give that no we do talk like that and it's not I'll share with you we've we've probably read it before we could read it again R salek the great brisker the great intellectual the great rationalist the great R the great R salek the great of salek he talked about when he talked about hasem the feeling of his hand on his shoulder and his love and his presence in his life he talked about the flavor of shabas it's all in the context of of his mother it's his his eulogy for the and he gets into what his father gave him and what his mother gave him his father gave him the dry law his father gave him the vocabul of the fancy and lumus and his mother gave him the spirit the feeling the sense and the sounds and the feelings of Yanti of shabas and he talks about his mother gave him the feeling that Hashem was hugging him hm's guiding hand was on his shoulder so the big rationalist the big brisker of cichic so in this correspondence I'm trying to give it is exactly who we are and what we believe and I would argue the opposite in an effort to sound so intellectual we've robbed generations of children and dare D I say I was a victim of that with no time against my teachers they were amazing and wonderful and I went to Great Schools and I'm so grateful for them but they weren't comfortable using the language so they didn't speak it to us about Hashem loves you and feel the hug and the wink and look what's Amun what's what's how do you have a relationship how do you have a conversation I had a conversation with someone last night who is taking this y maybe more seriously than he has any other in his life and this is a significant person who's been religious his whole life a Ben Torah a rabbi and he's taking this y more seriously maybe than any any he had in his life but you know he says what I'm trying to do differently this time than I ever did was to realize it's not just about saying some stuff it's not just about repeating some stuff not just about clapping some stuff this is a relationship trying to show up to a relationship and say I'm in I'm invested this is what we're learning we'll get to in a moment but here's how I hurt the relationship here's how I want to grow Clos in the relationship in a relationship so that language of this is an ongoing relationship with Hashem how do we use that vocabulary how do we model that behavior how do we demonstrate the richness of that relationship how blessed how fortunate how incredible this life is my sister just sent me this morning an article in the Atlantic about more and more homes don't have dining rooms Americans are now designing and building and renting homes and they don't have dining rooms now why because if you're not sh shabas you use your dining room twice a year thanksg I don't know maybe Thanksgiving and another day if You observe other days maybe twice a year so you don't need a dining room we GNA allocate so much square footage when it's so expensive so they don't have dining rooms so I thought wow how blessed are we that we can't live without a dining room we can't make it through one week even this week even this week this shabas is Yum Kipper so we don't need a dining room right yes we do there's a meal a of yum Kipper and there's a meal after yum Kipper and we still need our dining room we need our dining room we need our dining room I know the Jewish women always laugh when they're in Publix the week before Thanksgiving and they're seeing the people they're frantic with their shopping lists and their menus and their recipes and this meal and their guests and their the anxiety the whole year over this one Thanksgiving dinner you're like big deal do it three you ever heard of a three-day yff Thanksgiving how about six thanksgivings in a row it's called a three-day Yan could you have a three-day Y without a dining room so how blessed what a br let's use that language let's demonstrate that excitement that enthusiasm that gratitude that appreciation what a blessed life that we have how grateful we are for this vocabulary so this email she's so grateful and proud that she's using this vocabulary that her 5-year-old daughter who heard her arm said hasm helped me tie my shoe that's amazing that's what we want the challenge is can we get the kid to still say it when they're 15 and 25 and when they're 50 when they're five they sing Hashem is here hem is there hm is everywhere when they're five it's relatively easy but then we think that we grow out of it we grew out of the tooth fairy and we grew out of whatever else so we grow out of Hashem grow out of tooth fairy we grow up there's no tooth fairy sorry for you it's not Tooth Fairy we grow out of the tooth fairy and we grow out of this language that oh there's a Hashem don't grow out of it grow into it grow more into it and the email continues I've been meaning to share another story happened a while ago life is busy six months ago I was trying to make PES while sleep deprived with a three-month old baby my bigger kids were already home from school for a few days Cabin Fever was setting in their frequent bickering and Barb trading was really irritating my freid nerves trying my best to keep quiet not criticized at one point I had to run an eror with all my kids we got into the car as their arguing as their arguing continued when suddenly I heard your voice loud and clear through the car speaker saying just stop fighting over silliness and narish kite stop bickering and fighting I couldn't believe my ears I quickly shushed my kids and replayed what I just heard and said guys now Goldberg is talking to you we were all a little stunned and at a great laugh while recognizing the hash and the message Hashem was sending us see earlier that morning I started listening to episode 304 the perum episode when we got into the car my phone automatically connected to Bluetooth it started playing crazy thing is it started playing the last five minutes of the shear but that morning I was only able to listen to the first few minutes i' paused it a couple minutes from the beginning I have no idea how it started playing right at that point it was exactly what we needed to hear right then thank you for disciplining my children for me and of course for sharing the life changing shur which are continuously changing our lives yada y y blah blah blah may it be a year of revealed blessings for all of amnel amain again even in that moment no coincidences you happen to put that on it happened to play at that moment it's all from Hashem last email then back to our text I could write to you about the Amun that comes from having 200 missiles launched at us especially being I was out picking out two kid picking up two kids when the alert popped up on the phone seeing that I realized afterward the missiles in the sky feeling vulnerable in hashem's hands in a makeshift shelter in the Sho we didn't have we didn't make it home initially bar we're fine the kids and Israelis are resilient in that situation it's easy to feel totally dependent on hem and see his miraculous salvation man he did if you spoke to your loved ones while they were in bomb shelters with 200 ballistic missiles being fired over all of Israel and millions of people in shelters it's a lot of amuna a lot of a lot ofas but what I really wanted to share was something small that happened last night after the fast after Tom Gia Sunday night I was debating whether to have a cup of coffee would keep me up at night so close to bed but I opted to make it I put a coffee pot in the machine started it brewing and went out to take dinner from the toaster oven next to it after removing the food I noticed that the coffee cup was only half full the liquid had spilled to the side as the cup somehow got got moved out of place and I gave an audible groan and then two things happened number one my initial reaction was to blame my six-year-old son who had come to take something from next to me in the coffee machine while it was brewing but I held back in the split second I realized perhaps I was the one who accidentally moved it with the oven mitt I was wearing while taking out the hot food when everyone asked what happened why did I groan I said I must have moved the cup accidentally it caused it to spill now I only have half a cup it was my fault number two second amazing thing that happened is that my wife responded I guess Hashem must have wanted you to only have half a cup of coffee I paused internalized what she said and repeated it so the rest of the family in the kitchen would internalize it as well wow I love how you reframe that to see Yem in the accident that happened Hashem only wanted me to have half a cup of coffee such a small everyday event not miraculously being saved by missiles but still my wife reminded us we were able to see Hashem even when our coffee spills gar that's a great email because of the contrast Hashem saves us 200 ballistic missiles and I spilled the coffee because I was only meant to have half a cup and Hashem is revealed in both it's all hasem and the last thing I'll leave you off before we turn back page L gim is we right now B in Hara are outside of the cone I went online to see how many times I've published this article and how many Irma uh how many uh hurricanes Irma republished again for Dorian Milton this is like a Jewish hurricane but the same article I've Rewritten it several different times about how we are always in the cone of uncertainty and I don't have to tell you of all people those who are not listening from Florida can listen carefully but when that hurricane forms in the Gulf the Caribbean wherever it forms we are watching The Cone right if you live in California you hear cone you think of ice cream if you're in Florida and you hear cone you think of hurricane and that cone indicates so I always again ble and her I'm so scared to even say this but when when The Cone first forms and we're right in the center of it I feel good we're GNA be just fine it's when we're definitely outside of it B and Hara that historically we get a little bit nervous but please God but you know we watch it and we track it and we trace it and we hold on to the updates and we look at the spaghetti model and the European everyone in their models and the zigzags and the who knows what and we're looking at the cone of uncertainty and then you realize our entire lives are cones of uncertainty have the last few years the last year in particular not taught us we don't know what we'll wake up to we don't know what we'll go to sleep with right and some will be in the cone and some will be out of the cone and will we be seared or it's really unisan toef is the cone of uncertainty by a plague by a pandemic by a missile God forbid by fire just observed October 7th we're going to observe in our community together T the urite of so many and that's that's the UN That's The Power of this moment that's what we're supposed to be feeling is that we are always so what happens often is after you Kipper you break that fast in your dining room don't give up the dining room we have to hold on to our dining rooms we break that fast and then we think ah we exhale hurricane season's over season is over notice how they go together the season's over and we exhale and we breathe the sigh of relief and I'm out of the cone of uncertainty I don't have to sing I don't have to read who will live and who will die I'm done hurricane season's over days of season's over we're out of the cone of uncertainty we are always in the cone of uncertainty and there are those who will be in the cone and those who will be outside the cone though those who ultimately will confront that storm those those who be spared from the storm and we don't take anything for granted we always have to Davin not knowing about that cone and where we fall in it and which model will come true and will we have a direct hit will we be spared the worst will we avoid it all together so take a moment we say the toim after sheer let's also have in mind everyone on the west coast who are in this path who just not yet even recovered from the last hurricane we dve them from the bottom of our hearts sometimes we're we spend too much of our energy with being relieved we're outside the cone not enough energy channeling the relief into doing for those who are in the path if we were in that path that Panic we would have to get out to spare our things to hunker down we've been there we know what that's like it's not fun so we DAV we DAV please God please God it should miraculously dissipate take a turn neverone should be spared we're on page again has been developing for us this notion that chuva and whenever you're listening to this because clearly Spotify my great shat puts it on different episodes for different people at different times it's relevant all year long not only during not only during not only learning but the notion of of repair of Correction of repentance has the details the formula you have to have regret remorse about the past confess admit the present and you have to make a commitment and plan for the future it's the combination of all of those but to be engr engrossed in the details in the in the trees and forget the forest as I said my friend who this year for the first time is looking at the Y not only about did I say thees did I show up at the SOS did I schug the Karas did I did I did I but I'm in a relationship how's the relationship am I listening am I communicating am I vulnerable ultimately that's what a relationship is all about are you willing to be vulnerable that's the intimacy of a relationship the willingness to let down the Walls to let down the guard to let someone in and to say I'm vulnerable here's what I'm afraid of here are my dreams and aspirations here are my worst fears here's my imperfection do you know I haven't admitted this to anyone else but this is what I struggle with this is what I've done and I'm ashamed and I'm trying to make sense of it to be vulnerable to be vulnerable some that comes natural some are too vulnerable and they need to be told whoa whoa whoa you don't have to put every thought on social media you don't have to put every your kishkas you don't have to undress literally and metaphorically on social media there should be some privacy and some modesty some people have to be told you need some boundaries but many maybe many more have to be taught how do you become vulnerable to your spouse to friends and if you can't have relationships if you can't have relationships in this world how do you have relationship with Hashem these things go hand in hand these things go hand in hand if a person doesn't have vulnerability and and relationships in this world in this life with other people then can you really have a relationship with Hashem who you can't see you can't audibly hear can't touch so one of the ways to work on the relationship with Hashem is to improve the relationships with people the more we're capable of communicating and being vulnerable and connecting and experiencing intimacy with people then we can experience and explore it with Hashem saysay that's what this is about yes you have to put the checks next to the sayos got to come the Dre you got to fast no leather shoes got to have the meal before the fast you got to swing either the chicken or the money over your head is a long list of things we got to do but don't do the checklist and never actually invest in the relationship that's like being with the spouse and saying took out the garbage brought you the chocolate gave you the flowers made the anniversary card what's the problem and your spouse says yeah but you never talked to me you don't confide in me you don't let me in I don't know who you are I don't know what you're thinking I don't know what you're feeling feeling thinking I took out the garbage I I did the shopping I got everything on the list what's the problem so I could get a roommate for that I could hire an assistant for that I don't want that in a spouse I want a relationship and that's Hashem wants Hashem is waiting and he wants not just people who go through a checklist we have to do that too because you can't have the opposite the spouse who says I want to confide I want to tell you everything yeah what about the garbage the garbage oh it's not so important let me tell you how I'm feeling let me tell you my dreams and fears yeah but the garbage did you build the Suka did you put away you gotta have both and Hashem is wants both there's a checklist we have mitzvos we have AOS we have good things bad things right things wrong things we've got things but not to the exclusion or at the expense of the relationship he wants the relationship um I have us on page L gim on the left side the middle paragraph the the work the effort the energy the investment has to be in the relationship to draw close to connect to cling to hem and to live our lives with him with him Hashem is in our putting on our shoes Hashem is protecting us from 200 missiles Hashem caused us to spill our coffee because we're only supposed to have half a cup hm is not asking from us the notion ofus to be whole and complete and perfect Hashem does not expect Perfection his expectation is not Perfection it's not Perfection it's not Perfection you know you have those parents the kid who comes home with a 94 there are two types of parents in this world there are those who say you got a 94 that's amazing fantastic so proud and too many Jewish parents who say it's not bad what happened to the other six points what happened what'd you get wrong why'd you get it wrong so those parents put their children in therapy and ruin them and hurt them and harm them for good what happened to the other six points what's the right answer of a parent I don't care if you got a 70 I don't care if you got a 90 did you try your hardest did you give it your all were you disciplined in studying were you focused if you tried your hardest and you gave it your all and represents your best effort the 70 is fine with me if you got a 90 and you slacked off and you mailed it in and you didn't study because you thought you knew it pretty disappointed in that 90 disappointed it's not the grade it's the effort and the rebon the almighty it's similarly not the grade it's the effort Lo work put in an effort work show up this season show up with all your effort according to the time and the person show up in this relationship show up be invested make time communicate be vulnerable show up and if a person shows up you're not perfect you haven't transformed everything but your chuva is received and loved from Hashem it's not where you are it's where you started from it's where you started from that's what matters not where you are someone might have started I don't know let's put we can't do this but let's for the sake of argument say that religious and righteous life is a scale of 1 to 10 some people are born into a nine their nature their parents their education their environment they're born into a nine you know what they've done with their life they' slipped to an eight or a seven someone else is born out of three and they climb to make it up to a six so if you look objectively you say this one's out of seven this one's out a six this one's more righteous more observant practicing more more knowledgeable this one's a seven this one's a six who's greater the one of the six or the one of the seven the one of the six is far greater Hashem cares about which direction we're going in he cares about which direction not where we are which direction we're at he doesn't expect Perfection Ray doesn't quote this but maybe that's why the r my manes when he talks about Chua he writes a person should make an effort to do chuva which is a very peculiar formulation he doesn't write that with other Mitzvah make an effort to keep chabas make an effort to to take a lul love make an effort to hear the chauffeur make an effort to not steal and cheat no he writes that's the here's how to keep shabas he's how to keep kosher is to keep Yer when it comes to Chua he says maybe this explains why because for the rambam chuva is not it's not a question of perfection it's not a zero sum game chuva is did you try did you work did you show up were you disciplined did you make an effort hashm says then we're good then we're good it's not about perfection it's about how far we've come how much we've climbed which direction we're going in which direction we're going in the essence the inside of Chu is to return your heart to wherever you are whatever situation you're in a hospital you're in prison you're at home you're this is a very hard time for people the other day I spoke to a woman who's expecting won't be able to make the probably on Kipper struggling because in order to fast can she really go out and she has responsibilities and feels this is supposed to be a time of growth and here I am I'm nauseous I'm trying not to uh whatever all day long I have nothing left to grow and feeling down on herself you know what I said to her said you're not growing you're growing a life inside you is there greater growth than growing a life inside you that's your job this year that's your mission you feel guilty and ashamed are you crazy there's no greater way to imitate God again we give a Braha to those waiting and longing they should know the experience please God and have NAS from healthy children but the greatest imitation of Hashem is to bring children into this world how could you say you're not growing if you're growing a child inside you that's growth those who are home and unable to go to sh because they're raising young children that's their mission this year I they only said uh uh tiny percentage of the M yeah that's their job this year they're growing those little children into beautiful Jewish nishas that's their job this year a dear beloved member was in the hospital a young man in the hospital of rashash Shana how hard that is to be lying in a hospital bed a young man got a mysterious virus out of nowhere and we D in for his complete such a special beautiful that's where hasem put him this year that's where Hashem put him this year you make the most you do the best you say what you can and if you're in conversation with Hashem from that hospital bed from that home from that Prison from that how about the soldiers the soldiers who spent rashash Shana instead of in a base the the base medish are on an army base or in Gaza or Lebanon could barely say anything could barely hear a show that's where Hashem put them this year that's their job they're fighting for the Jewish people that's their mission so Hashem is not looking he understands we are what we're meant to be a ye a Jew is never stuck we are what we're meant to be what are we going to do with it and do we make the most of it and do we understand that that's our mission that's our job that's our responsibility are we clinging and connecting and attaching to our from there with all of our heart to begin to live with him live with him you know when you live with him when he's there when you're putting on your shoes and he's there in your cup of coffee and he's there when the missiles are flying overhead and he's there when your flight took off he's there when you have empty seats in your row then you're living with him but if you only live with him when you get to Sho and open the sitter and in between oh yeah I forgot there's a God I forgot when I was playing tennis Maan in the mall and going to work and carpool and buying food and I totally forgot all day everywhere I am I forgot on the I was so stressed out about the flight would it take off would it be on time what would happen to the hurricane would it be canceled I totally forgot then we're not living with him what he wants from us is live with him put on those glasses see him everywhere because in the end of the day he is the Bor and we are the nivra this is a theme RIT comes back to we've seen it several of his works there's the Bor the Creator and there's the NRA the created the Creator is perfect the created is by definition imperfect there is no perfect person who doesn't make mistakes that's why hasem invented chuva our rabbis tell us Chua was one of the things that God created during Twilight before creation means before the world came to be Hashem said before Hashem created the pencil you know he put on it an eraser you know if you think about it it's pretty um it's pretty depressing that there's an eraser on a pencil when you buy the pencil what the manufacturing company is telling you is you're going to mess up so I want to buy a pencil with no eraser I would have the confidence I don't mess up I get it right the first time I'm gonna be perfect who needs an eraser no Hashem created a world a world that we're going to write our story but he put an eraser on our pen on our pencil he built the Eraser before he created us to say it's no problem you're gonna mess up you're gonna make mistakes erase it and draw it again you got it he gave us that chance so there are no perfect people there are no we are nivra we are created not Creator Creator hasem perfect created us we imperfect fallible fail mistakes one of the one of the Expressions that we use in is that hasem examines Clos Val he examines our innards our inner parts our heart he knows us he knows the effort he knows he knows did you get a 90 but you didn't bother studying did you get a 70 and you gave it your all the 70 when you gave it your all is a higher grade than 90 when you slacked off a 70 when you gave it Year all by the way this is another thing we need to communicate to our children they live in a world that has these objective measures of the grade that doesn't take into account the effort and it should and it needs to we need to reward and award the child who got a 70 but they worked so hard and overcame so many things to get it and the kid who got a 90 because they're blessed and born with certain gifts and didn't try at all we need to reward and we need to use the language of and we need to teach our children which is greater why why should we teach that to our children first of all because it's true second of all because of their self-esteem and self-confidence and self-worth and their drive and motivation but here's the other reason because that's what will also give them the truth in their relationship with Hashem in the relationship with Hashem Hashem is more imp impressed with the person not the person who never speaks lashara because they're naturally a kind person they never have the inclination they would never want to they never did it's not enjoyable takes no effort but the person who oh they love to gossip they've got the juiciest most delicious best gossip and they say but you know what I'm working on it I'm working on it so I only Shar 10% of what I had not 100% and it worked oh did they have to work hard they were shvitzing they were they had to staple their lip was hard Hashem rewards us and waits for us and cares about our effort not the result if it comes naturally according to our circumstance forgives us and he draws Us close and then we'll work on things so we'll get better we'll improve more we'll climb from the sixth rung to the seventh rung to the eighth rung to the ninth run but while we're on the sixth run don't look up at those in the seventh eth and Ninth maybe they started on the 10th look at where you started how far you've come think about the effort that we've made show up show up that's what matters show up I don't mean show up in the checklist only show up to that too sharp I mean sharp in the relationship I I almost think I say this not to flex but I worked hard and I I think I had a good rashash in this way I hope we'll all have a good Yumer in this way it's a long M there's a lot to say and sing and yum will be in sh even longer than we were on Rashana but you know why we're there say the words in the M I don't want you to walk out thinking I said leave the mo at home it doesn't matter of course it matters say it but it's almost as if Hashem designed Hashem and our system designed a way that said stand and Sh for one day all day with no distractions no technology food is off the table drink is off the table a hot shower is off the table the co plunge is off the table it's all off the table it's all I didn't mention it it's all off the table and therefore all you have is your thoughts that's why you're here it's a meditative day have a conversation if you come out of yipper and you said every word in that m but you don't have one conversation you have nothing to talk to them about children grandchildren parents grandparents siblings neighbors friends you look back on the year that was you look to the year that will be you have nothing to say thank you for you have nothing to pray and hope or work out and be okay you have nothing now I know you know there is no one like that right now because of everything going on in Israel so anyone who fits that with all that's going on in Israel is is doesn't have a Jewish soul is not connected to the Jewish people you can't everybody has so the whole system is designed get you there with no distraction and nowhere to go hopefully some good Tunes to put you in the mood and some good words that give you a little bit of a a template good now you know what you need to do start talking conversation in your heart with your lips just talk to hasem talk to Hashem I have on I have it every day in my told you before I have a card that has every member of my family my parents my in-laws my children their spouse the grandchildren there's a little from the to D for your family every day that I say I look at that card the whole daving just look at their names and I think about their lives our children parents overwhelmed with the Gratitude and the bras not to be taken for granted and also everybody has their little Peele their little stick their little thing that they need everybody should be healthy and successful everybody should find a spouse and have their children everybody who's doing for them if you don't you don't we don't have a spouse a parent a neighbor a friend who's in a who's doing for them and ning for them doesn't just mean like I don't know what means talk to hasem I I have this whole convers I talked to him about them over and over and over he's so sick and tired over and over with this help this one this please help that thank you so much for this one that thank you for the other thing the other thing I'm I picture Lebanon I picture Gaza I picture soldiers I picture my family I picture our lone soldiers I picture all the soldiers picture hostages you pick who doesn't have it's amazing it doesn't take three days yum Kipper should take a week yum Kipper now you think of yum Kipper it's not long but how do we pack it all into the one day so much to talk about so much to think about so much to be thankful for and to DAV for the things that we don't even know we need to DAV for how many years in AOW have we been saying that did you know before Co to Davin that there wouldn't be a pandemic I didn't I should have because we say every year mea who from a pandemic say it every year in my whole life I never once davened Hashem please don't let me die in a pandemic I never knew the word pandemic it's for history class whoever heard the word pandemic we didn't know to Davin did we know to Davin that there wouldn't be an October 7th we didn't even know hostage who knew to DAV who knew we don't even know what we need to Daven for and I know there are people in this room and in our sh in this community we need to Daven to survive child birth we need to DAV to get do we need to DAV for things that so fragile life is so vulnerable we don't even know what we need to DAV for so what 25 hours is not enough it's not enough okay I'm not I'm not suggesting we need another day it is enough but now take advantage that's why before y Kipper put some work some thought make that not card write some notes write some notes on that note card one side is my family and the other side I have a list of people every day especially y again I'm saying this not to flex but to hopefully invite you to be a partner with me and do it too the other side of that card has these are trying to get married these are trying to have children these are people who need AA and it gets updated for two reasons gets updated for two reasons it gets updated because that one got married this one had a baby this one felt got better recovered and Ne gets updated because people passed away and their names I'm sure you have this experience it's among the hardest things in the world to cross off a name those names that flow off your lips lips sometimes for days weeks months years you do for them and when you stop doing for them and you cross their name off so that's one of the things of D Hashem I got colums here let's move the raist to they got better column let's not move them God forbid to the other one that's like an hour of a conversation of meditating of thinking of losing yourself of three boxes of tissues that's what we're here for that's what it's about it's not this checklist it's got to be real vulnerable conversation talking moving columns walking in with lists that's what it's all about that's what it's all about I wanted to get to the end of this piece but praise God we will resume we'll see where we pick up whether with this or something new but I want to wish everyone AAR should be a good gch year we should be sealed for a year of let's move everyone to the to the they got better column let's move everybody off our list they got married they had babies they got better let's move they became safe the hostages went home the soldiers rejoined their families please stay for let's D for Israel let's dve in for ourselves let's also dve in hard for those on the west coast of Florida and this hurricane gar