Living With Emunah (Part 247) - Everything is Uncertain but One Thing

good morning poker tell welcome back to living with emoon I don't know about you but I'm so happy that we are back learning studying thinking about being inspired by the importance of emuna it's amazing how the most important things in life are the easiest to forget and neglect and we have to return and remind and review over and over and over and over again so first of all as always we're very grateful to our series sponsor Dr Xavier Bella Morgan incredibly generous has sponsored our living with the moon a series in memory over by Dr Brian galbot in memory of Bella's mother Dr Ellen chanza we're very grateful to them this morning Shear is also sponsored I'm very proud and honored by my daughter Atara and her husband Khali Italian Minsky for their full schlima of kali's Grandfather Hersh Ben also anonymously the Earth site is and also by Ellie Walden in honor of a speedy and a complete before schlima to our good friend Moshe yitzlak Ben Rifka very special person who does so much for the Jewish people promoting Torah and learning and growth and all those Trio should be in his favor should hear only good news he should have a complete refua shlema lastly last piece of housekeeping before we dive back into living with emuna we've started a WhatsApp group for each year we already had one for this year to remind you if you're not yet part of it you definitely want to join it it first of all has the sheer schedule to remind you if we're on or for some reason we are not meeting number two there's bonus content an extra little duartora extra little thought extra little uh source that we'll put in there and number three it's a community of people who are all in the same thing so if you go to Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp not what's up WhatsApp Rabbi Efron goldberg.org WhatsApp you can join any of the group's partial perspectives let's see I'm living with amuna turn Friday there of Shabbos each one we'll have some bonus content each one will have the schedule each one you will be kept up to date and it would be an honor to have you in each of those groups admin only we will not inundate you the last thing anyone needs is to be part of more what's app groups but hopefully these will be one that add value to you okay living with a Muna so it's been so long that we've been on break I was trying to figure out and remember where exactly we are and what exactly we're up to and what we're talking about but considering the fact that we essentially say the same thing each and every time it almost doesn't really matter we basically say the same thing's over and over and over again so let's begin with a namuna story we're always looking for that stories in our lives you all know by now our family practice WhatsApp group in which we are trying to remember to post to look to live to see when you feel obligated to share then you're going to live a different level of Consciousness and mindfulness when a person says you know at dinner tonight everyone's got to share some way they saw Hashem in their life that day or the WhatsApp group has to be active in our family I don't want to be the only one who doesn't post this of something that happened something I saw something that needs to be so you got to post regularly where's Hashem in your life where was he showing his hand where was he making himself visible where was he reminding you here I am where is hashem's presence in our life which we're looking looking for not because and I'm gonna just again I know we say the same things over and over again I'm going to keep saying that to myself if you show up wow that's incredible if not I need to kill I need to hear it anyway so the reason that we're trying to constantly reinforce this intense presence of Hashem in our lives is not because he's some scary King task master not because we report to him and we're supposed to live in fear from him and you know what the more that we remember do the right thing and otherwise lightning is going to strike he's going to knock us down and take us out that is not why we're living with him Uno you know we're living with a Muna so we can live with peace and serenity and happiness no anger no Envy no anxiety no worry everything will be the way it's the way it's meant to be everything will be the way it's meant to be and it gives us that it reinforces that so the more that we look for and invite him in the more we identify and acknowledge when he's there hemantic the more we speak about Hashem the muramuna will have we and our children and our families and our neighbors and the more that we speak about him the more we'll feel his presence the more we feel his presence the greater the confidence he gives us the greater the certainty he gives us the greater that we're able to maintain calm in our lives so my daughter posted in our family WhatsApp group probably not for me to repeat but recently she was very nervous she has to register she started nursing school she had to register her classes but she's actually teaching right now until school starts and she was concerned it opens at the very time she's supposed to start teaching and therefore what's going to be she won't get into the class so she needs to she started to worry about it and then when she looked at her calendar she realized punked that day happens to be a teacher training day and there's no school that day so Hashem organized that the registration for her school and nursing school so again you could live like that and be like oh wow what a relief that's great and leave it at that or you can live like that and say hashemi just gave me a hug Hashem just gave me a kiss Hashem I started to worry and you told me everything will be all right you organized and orchestrated you curated my life so it'd all be fine which is an incredible incredible gift that we have to not panic and not worry tell you one more story and as I tell you with the disclaimer each time I share these stories it's been a little while you have to write them in whether you're watching you're listening at home whether you're here in person the benefit of hot coffee on us wherever you are share your own stories because they inspire all of us so I was in Auburn Alabama the other day coach Bruce Pearl the Auburn Tiger team went to Israel support Israel incredible group of African-American non-jew basketball player future NBA players love Israel went to give an award to thank them and I tried to fly back on the last flight out on Monday night to make it back to the Parsha Shear for yesterday morning but Alabama is an hour and a half from the Atlanta airport and it's an hour behind in Atlanta and I wanted to give that award before tip off and then book out don't tell coach Paul and stay for the game then book out and make it to uh and make it to the airport and I was worried would I make it how would it work out what would be and I left the arena just in time to press Uber to get an Uber driver wondering whether Uber driver would come and an Uber driver came and he picked me up and he asked me what are you doing here I said I'm here with the delegation there were 128 is why kids that came that volunteered in detested soup kitchens in Alabama doesn't see a whole lot of Jews to make a Kiddush Hashem to say thank you for they did for Israel and this Uber driver says I drove some of your kids earlier today to a soup kitchen those kids were unbelievable I was so inspired by the way that they behaved by the end of the hour and a half Drive where we discussed the Bible if you're from Alabama you're very comfortable discussing the Bible with complete strangers we discuss God and the Bible and we're good friends and now he has my number and text me so he he declared to me so first of all he felt on a mission for when I told them I'm trying to get back because I teach a Bible class in the morning his mission was to get me to that airport with whatever shortcuts and side roads and speed was necessary it's possible I need the bench Como tomorrow but his mission from God was to get me to the airport and by the time he dropped me off he said I want you to know Rabbi I bought a Powerball ticket remember the Powerball Monday night was 1.9 billion dollars and he said I was so impressed by by those kids and the way they behaved that if I win I want to write a nice check to that organization that brought those kids here but I could have pressed Uber any driver could have come first of all they could have been slow and difficult and not cared and I could have missed my flight they could have not been the one who took our group and could have hopefully tried to increase that kiddish Hashem that those kids started there was this hand I felt like I'm gonna get there we'll make the flight it's all going to be good everything's fine then of course there was only one lane open at TSA even though whatever leave it out and as I panicked and I was on the phone with the incredible reviton she was like the only teaches them in class don't you like talk about this example all the time like take a deep breath it's all going to be fun you're gonna figure it out you make it you won't make it whatever would be is what's meant to be so I hung up on her now I'm just joking so I'm just joking I said as I find myself doing several times an hour you're 100 right I'm wrong and I stay commentary so the idea of living at the moon and I'm telling you these stories not to flex not because I'm anything special in fact it's the opposite but you could live your life in black and white or you could live your life In Living Color you could live your life and things just happen they're random their coincidence maybe you notice maybe you don't even notice you could just live your life where you're anxious and you panic or you're angry or you're arrogant or you're envious or you're jealous or you could live your life or he's everywhere and you're like it'll be what's meant to be this hurricane where's it going what's going to happen will school be closed will it be open will we lose power you could panic and you can be anxious and I'm not talking about you know we're putting a lot of emphasis not on clinical mental health anxiety which needs all kinds of support and intervention again just the usual anxiousness that comes up in life and if you listen to oh this is important we're going to get to learning in a minute the the second episode we did of our Out of the Shadows our mental health broadcast if you want to work on your emuna you have to listen to it not only because of the courageous Jessica and etan who courageously each shared their story of managing anxiety in their lives which is well worth listening incredible courage they had to sell tell their stories in detail but we interviewed a doctor who is the founder of the center for anxiety he's a professor at Harvard University on anxiety and mental health and he happens to be an observant to tow a Jew and in the conversation you have to watch it about understanding all the studies and all the research of which he does much and contributes much all points back to the fact that anxiety stems from a feeling and inability to deal with uncertainty in life a person who struggles with dealing with uncertainty you know but what's going to be and how will it work out and what some people thrive on uncertainty you know if you're watching the election results last night happy unhappy partly happy partly whatever you but not no no political commentary here but like the reality TV component of election results it's like the Ultimate Sports game what's the outcome going to be this one's up now they're losing now they're winning what's the result going to be and the stakes are much higher than the fact that the Yankees got eliminated by the cheating Houston Astros the stakes are much higher when it comes to our elected officials and policies so on and so forth but implicit in that night is uncertainty uncertainty and you know what else is filled with uncertainty of which it's only natural for everyone to feel anxious the fact that if you live in Florida it feels like every other day there's a little something called The Cone of uncertainty right so they couldn't come up with a better name this is what the entire weather people meteorologists brilliant accomplished people who we have no time against but they have advanced degrees and lots of initials after their name and they are able to study and measure things we never even heard of and begin to understand and when you say great so add it all up what does it mean they say have no clue it's a huge cone it's covering half the United States and as it gets closer maybe you'll know maybe you'll find out by the way today's the day it's this afternoon and we're still the cone could be here could be there could be nowhere could be big could be smoke could be who knows what's going to be and I just spoke about earlier in the message really every um every hurricane you could experience a hurricane with your eyes closed where your whole conversation about the hurricane is did you fill up with gas do we have enough water bottles the batteries and the flashlights uh good to go did you bring in the outdoor furniture or your conversation could go yeah I notice you I see you're reminding me again you're there I know how little power how little control we have I know how little we could even predict I've quoted so many countless times to get more in the beginning of kindness that tells us that Hashem said go conquer my world study it manipulate it control it be in charge of it control nature fly into the space and the cosmos and understand and invent and create artificial meat go control the world whatever other examples you want put satellites in the sky and video technology give a brush on your kids Halfway Around the World on Earth Shabbos do everything control my world but here are three things you'll never control this is what the gemara 2000 years ago told us fast forward 2000 years and all the progress all the technology all the advance and all the money and we've made zero zero inroads in the three ways that Hashem said these are the keys I hold on to what are those three keys I hope you don't know so I'll feel better about the fact that I always repeat one of those keys is conception conception people who are desperate for a child and we dab and everyone who's longing for a child should be blessed with a healthy child that gives them it's not a simple thing at all if a person actually studies the statistics how many pregnancies end in the birth of a healthy child how many don't how many attempts at conception yield a healthy child and how many don't if we understand the data about infertility secondary infertility we would never take for granted what is the miracle of a healthy child the miracle of the healthy child Dr matilski and our shul who runs an IVF Clinic a lab will tell you he mixes all those materials he mixes them together but whether in the end when you implant them they come out as a healthy baby or not he surrenders it's a total observant you a wonderful person and a great neighbor he will tell you he can mix all those materials he puts the ingredients together but whether the recipe comes out it's not up to him he's told me several times about cases where there are embryos that look like they're holding on for their life they're weak and they're and they're compromised but alas that's all that the couple produced for tens of thousands of dollars so what are you going to do you're going to implant them another embryos that look healthy and perfect and robust and strong and The Pick of the litter and you're going to put them in and you can expect nine months later twins triplets it's going to be unbelievable and he says countless times the ones that look like they're barely holding on and why even bother because they're so compromised but what are you gonna do you might as well put them in nine months later a beautiful adorable sweet delicious pure innocent baby and the ones that look healthy and perfect and there's no doubt with confidence they'll turn out okay God forbid don't so one key Hashem holds on to his conception the other key he holds on to is amazing the resurrection of the Dead we miss people we love people we long for people we want to bring them back into our life and into our world but alas we don't have that power we don't have that ability and we never will because hashem's holding on to that key and the third really all three are the same thing conception and the rain are all about life the beginning of Life and sustaining life and bringing back to life they're all about life they're really all the three keys all three keys a really one master key and then one third is the weather and I find it magnificent this is what I think about every time we are in this cactic cone of uncertainty and we're in the news again and we don't know where it's coming each and every time I think about that third key where Karishma says you put satellites wherever you want you build spaceships whatever you want you control and manipulate whatever you want just know not only will you never be able to control the weather you can't stop the tsunami or the hurricane not only do you not control it you can't even figure it out you won't even be able to accurately predict it or anticipate it or really prepare for it because it's Mikey I'm holding on to it I'm holding on to it so you could live life through a hurricane and you could be focused on the batteries and the lawn furniture and the water bottles and the gas all important things on all our checklists is it on a checklist all these important things so hopefully someone in your family is taken care of they're important you know what else is important as a total observant Jew as people who are living with amuna to look at that Kona uncertainty and to realize my whole life is a cone of uncertainty every morning I wake up I'm in a cone of uncertainty every day and every moment is a cone of uncertainty every doctor's appointment every time I turn on my car and I start to drive somewhere every phone call I take not knowing what will be said to me from the other end is a cone of uncertainty so am I going to be overwhelmed and anxious and anxiety as the doctor talked about on our podcast Out of the Shadows or what's the answer how do we live to learn how do we learn to live with uncertainty how do we Empower ourselves where does resiliency come in to be able to deal with uncertainty if you know anyone with anxiety if you have or someone in your family then you know that it's exactly in those moments but what do you mean but where are we meeting up but what are we having for dinner little things like that can make a person Panic can bring out their anxiousness and make a person act in a way that's difficult for them and difficult to be around but where does it come from because the moment if you say here's the schedule here's exactly what's going to happen here's what we're doing here's what you can anticipate come everything's good introduce uncertainty but where am I sitting but but where are we meeting but what are we eating but what's going to be will I get into that class and all of a sudden there's anxiety so how do you build the resilience this is what he said Harvard professor Harvard professor said you know how the antidote part of the antidote and Muna stories learn about amuna read about amuna you gotta watch the podcast I don't know if this really tells the students at Harvard teaches them about emuna talks about faith in God and the Divine and the ability to say you know why I can live with uncertainty because as uncertain as I am to live and to navigate this world there is one thing I'm certain about everything else is uncertainty everything's uncertainty will the hurricane go how will I feel later today what will be in this world what will be the results of the election what will be maybe even if I'm unhappy with the results maybe they're the right that what would everything in our lives is uncertainty we are surrounded by and we are overwhelmed and we are living in that cone couldn't there at least be like ice cream on top of that cone we are in that cone of uncertainty maybe they should do that on the map just to like make take the edge off a little bit here's the cone of uncertainty we're always going to put a picture of mint chocolate chip ice cream on top of the cone of uncertainty just to like make it a little bit easier to have to track that cone a little bit I don't even like ice cream but for those who do if I did I would like mint chocolate chip anyway put some Cape Cod potato chips on top of the cone of uncertainty so you know that was going to get in there somewhere so everything is uncertain we are surrounded by and overwhelmed by uncertainty there's only one thing in our lives we can be certain about and what is that there's the king of the universe and he's in charge we submit it we surrender to him we yield to him we work for him he doesn't work for us and that everything he does is for a reason nothing is chance and nothing is random and nothing is happenstance and nothing that happens just happened and nothing that happens didn't happen for our best interest it's hard because not everything that happens is pleasurable sometimes it's painful but as we've spoken about also a lot painful things happen to good people bad things don't everything by definition from Hashem is good so today is this cone of uncertainty we're back in it welcome to living in Florida we have the best election results we have no state income tax we've got good policies but we we live in the ice cream cone of uncertainty that's where we live but you know what you could you could either be panicked by that or you could lean into that and say wow I get to live with a regular reminder there's Hashem in this world I'm going to lean into it because guess what every few weeks or months we get to go through an exercise at a Muna where we're watching as it draws closer and where is it going to be and make landfall and how will it impact us and will the light stay on or not in each of those moments the uncertainty of those moments could create anxiety and panic or we can work on resiliency and we can grow how by remembering and reminding ourselves someone in charge whatever happens if there's no lights we made it through an entire yunt of when we had a hurricane years ago who lived there and remembers the second days of circus Torah and more with no power whatsoever very romantic candlelight sudas together and everybody barbecuing whatever meat because their freezer was gone that was the best smell montoya's Circle smells like like the base on nickdish is gonna smell mamish was all you could eat barbecue going on everywhere neighbors became friends there was so much beauty that came out of it if you can look back and remember it nostalgically because thank God nobody was hurt even though it wasn't easy so if we lose our power okay so be it we'll figure it out we're meant to lose our power and if nothing happens and so be it thank God we'll be very grateful and we won't forget to say thank you to him that nothing happened but as much as we live in that cone of uncertainty as much uncertainty as there is there's one thing that is certain and that is there's a rebonus Shalom we are certain and is certain that while we protest and object and we talk to him like who does in our Parsha when it comes to Stone what does he do right afterwards protests and objects and tells Hashem hey that's not cool with me that's not good it doesn't sound very fair and just I'm gonna fight maybe there are 10 righteous Hashem says it's a nice try I appreciate it but no I'm sticking with my plan and after my Venus says you know what the fact that God sometimes says no we asking we Daven that sometimes the answer is no so do we get further from him or closer to him in that momentum says you know what I tried I fought the good fight I protested and I objected I appealed to you and I dive in and I prayed but in the end of the day I submit and I surrender to you I defer to you because I'm just future worm food I'm just ashes and dust and you're the infinite omnipotent God and of a choice between going my way or your way what I think is best or what you think is best let's go with your best over mine I may not understand it I don't always appreciate it and it may not be pleasurable for me in this world but I'll go with you over me any day okay all this was by the way the introduction let's get started I have us on Facebook by the time we finish this we'll be back to pesach this is ravicha Meyer on pesach and shaboos it's taking us so long why were we studying it because we were talking about you make Katniss do you remember let's give a quick review and update we're talking about what happens when you're not on fire what happens when you're not living with amuna what happens when you're not posting your WhatsApp group what happens when you don't feel his presence and his guiding hand in your life what happens when you're not feeling close and connected and inspired what do you do then first of all we talked about these two months of them they have many names make Katniss and godness sometimes we feel small or great face sometimes it's our front or our back sometimes we see clearly or it's dark there are many descriptions we talked about a Victor Meyer reminded us why did God create a world like that because we are simultaneously by being the nivra by being among the created God is the Creator and we are among his Creations we are created and we are created you have two feelings simultaneously on the one hand you feel well he created me so now I exist and now I'm independent and now I operate and now I have autonomy and now I'm in charge and now I'm a decision maker and that breeds arrogance Independence that brings Katniss smallness where we don't feel connected to him ah I don't really need him I'm good and then on the other hand you realize wow I'm a creation you mean I only exist because he wills it you mean it's only his generosity that allows me to be in this world wow I feel so connected to him I feel so supported by him I feel so dependent on him so the very fact that the world is designed that there's a Creator and the creative the created the nivra we it breeds this feeling this Duality this Paradox of sometimes on the one hand feeling small and on the other times feeling big and feeling and sometimes feeling great and feeling great it's Vegas atsums I have some page group summer download ozvov is that where you have us you have no idea where we last left off I have no idea where we last left off I should have listened to the end of the last one to figure out how do we serve Hashem when we're feeling disconnected and small so we started I think by looking at his first piece of advice which was Fila Fila I think that's how we ended last time by talking about what sounds like something contradictory that makes no sense when you when you're struggling with faith in Hashem what should you do davent have faith in Hashem that sounds weird you're having trouble having faith in Hashem so davent have faith in Hashem and the answer is yes because the very fact of talking to Hashem is going to remind you he's there make you feel connected to him what is the Quorum Foundation of any healthy relationship in life marriage centrally but any relationship parent and child friends co-workers employer employee a foundation of any relationship is communication you have to communicate if you bottle up if you can't express if you're not comfortable making yourself vulnerable if you don't make the time to communicate it's a very superficial and often a dysfunction and a dissolving relationship core to any relationship Central to any relationship critical to any relationship it's communication is you have to communicate you have to make yourself vulnerable you have to confide you have to connect you have to connect communication is even just about connecting Mecklenburg makes this point we're going to read shortly in a few weeks makes his way down to matram and Yosef has this long-awaited reunion he and his father and now he's so excited to make an introduction for all these years Yosef has been working for and reporting to the emperor of the world Paro and now yaakov his father the spiritual emperor of the world makes his way down and he makes the introduction yaakov and Paro are in a room they're in Paris Oval Office and what is the conversation ah to be a fly on the wall to hear the conversation between yaakov and Paro and what do they talk about the weather I don't talk about the weather but they essentially talk about the weather Potter says hey nice to meet you how old are you he says I'm pretty old but my life's been filled with a lot of challenges hasn't been easy he says give me a blessing now God bless you have a great day they part ways and you say what just happened really that's what they spoke about not world peace or solving hunger or existence evidence for the existence of God or some magnificent major of critical import that's they talked about and there are many answers to this question which run out of that partial so I'm not going to tell you but I'll just tell you the one of the Savage he says you know what they were talking about it's an expression because I'll use that word they talk about whether on Shabbos you're allowed to talk about means Loosely translates to Small Talk small talk what is small talk Small Talk how's the weather what'd you have for lunch today what's doing where'd you get that dressed Small Talk small talk Small Talk small talk good or bad so a lot of people some people who feel sophisticated and advanced who has time for small talk small talk is for unsophisticated people simple people ignorant people who it's time for small talk where is there room for small talk Saba Kabbalah says small talk the Torah here in this conversation is essentially endorsing small talk and this is what he says a brilliant insight says you know what the value of small talk is when you only talk to someone because there's a reason and a purpose and an agenda then you don't really care about the relationship with the person they are a means towards an end to check something off on your agenda so the only time that we ever communicate we're working on a project or I need to access some information or I need to make a plan if the only time I ever talk to you is because there's something specific then it's not really about our desire to connect it's not really about us it's about fulfilling this agenda you're just you're just an instrument or a tool you're just a a pawn for me but if I'm willing to endure or engage in small talk where I'm gonna get nothing out of it there is no agenda there's nothing of critical import all there is is connecting with you so what am I communicating I care about you let's just make small talk let's just spend time let us connect let us learn I'm just curious small talk I want to learn about you I want you to learn about me small talk and that's what he says the value there's a big value in a willingness to engage in small talk Samara famously said every woman begins what happened to daf alaf ever in the sector starts on that base what happened to daf Olive so after the war it would give sheer in New York to a group of survivors and before she began before they opened the gemara they would sit and they would talk how are you what's happening how's your mishbacha how's the job how's it going and only then they open the gemara and someone was once critical Torah she's called for that time no start open the camera and start the sheer why are you engaging in this other conversation and his answer was you'll notice that every message begins on daf days because you know what dafalaf is small talk the duff elephants I care I'm with you I care that we're together I care to know you I care for you to know me that matters it matters and it's meaningful to just be together the relationship with No Agenda so before we get to that base and before we dive into the Torah daf aleph is small talk why am I telling you all this because I think that's the idea of FILA how do you break out of the makeupness first piece of advice really picking up on where we left off several weeks ago start talking to him small talk and shall I'm not coming to you till like there's no crisis not coming in South world hunger not coming to you because there's a terrible diagnosis there's all those things too I'm not just coming to you because it's a hurricane not just coming to you because we're in a moment of a cone of uncertainty hey I just want to fill you in some small talk I just want to tell you what's going on in my life thank you that trip worked out and I made the flight I got knockers from this child so this thing is happening or that I hope will work out do you mind and you go from feeling disconnected and Far Away by just talking unburdened by just communicating by just engaging in that small talk that says tashem there's no agenda There's No Agenda this is not about I need you for something this is about I want to be close to you I just want a relationship with you so let's start the next ozvov visit Hashem is you know sometimes sometimes when everything's hunky-dory and wonderful and well and we're flying high there's an element of that which is amazing but there's an element of that which is also counterfeit it's an element of that which is an adrenaline rush it's a known to that which is an endorphin release is an element of that which you don't know is really and truly authentic and yet sometimes it's the moment of hiddenness sometimes in the moment of distance since sometimes it's a moment of needing to dig deep that you can actually recover and feel closer than ever I'll give you a metaphor a couple are experiencing a high romantically in their love for one another it's a significant Milestone it's an anniversary it's a trip it's a honeymoon it's flying high and everything's wonderful they're medley in love and they're adorable and cute to themselves it's obnoxious to anyone around them and everything is amazing and perfect and wonderful and fantastic and fun is that the most real expression of love they're far away and they're on some trip and they're delighting in their time together and the one and it's amazing is fantastic and it's real but it's also not sustainable and it's not real life so to say and it's a high which has a value and which restores an energy and a romance and it's important but is it more real than when the couple are in a bad place have gone through tension or a fight or conflict or a crisis of faith in one another or faithfulness and they dig deep and they pledge and they promise and they make themselves vulnerable and they work through and they struggle to find one another and to persevere and to transcend and to not only survive but to thrive through that incident which is more real which is more lasting which is more transformational it's the second it's the second for sure when you're agitated when you're confronted when you overcome that test that the relationship sustained and you're nevertheless persevere what you have is deeper and more authentic and more lasting and more real and More close and more intimate and more connected than the greatest honeymoon and the greatest exotic location the most fun activities with the greatest everything sometimes those moments of Katniss borohu H I don't see you I don't feel you I've been unfaithful to you or I feel you've been unfaithful to me I don't know where you've been and I'm resentful or angry but you know what nevertheless I'm committed to fight through to work it through and to feel your presence and to reconnect with love and with intimacy and when you do and you endure through that resiliency in the relationship and you break out you feel something special and more connected and more real and more lasting it's more genuine than what you had before what's true in our relationships in marriage our relationship with who is a marriage it is a marriage and there are moments of closeness and moments of distance and moments of loyalty and moments of of challenge but will we fight through will we break through will we come out on the other end and if we do and if we do and we do what it takes to get there it doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs and forward and backward movement but when we come out on that other end we're so much stronger than where we were before when you're in a bad place and you stick together when you're in a bad place and you're willing to forgive when you're in a bad place and you're willing to work through then you feel you know what if we got through this we can get through anything I've never felt more connected I've never felt more confident I've never felt more support when I feel connected to Hashem even though we've been distant and far apart even though I haven't invested in talking to him and learning and living my best self and yet he's still there and yet he still he hasn't gone away and yet I can still rely on him and I'm still connected to him wow now I am more aware of and I'm experiencing his presence in a way I never have before but my very existence is making me connected to him my very survival of this experience of this incident of this period is making me more connected to him is Hashem I feel you and I know you're here and I can't believe how lucky I am that you're sticking with me and I can't believe how much of a future we have despite where we've been I know that you're here not only do we have a better relation not only do we have the same relationship we have a better we have a better relationship than we've ever had what's the formula we say all L beginning of tishray what is the statement what is the motto all this we say is only we can get to the middle so that we can scream and Proclaim and make the wall shake with Hashem Hashem 13 attributes of God why do we repeat Hashem Hashem we were so concerned and aware of always reminding everyone there's only one God there is one God the unity of hashem's existence and all of a sudden we begin Hashem Hashem why do we say it twice Hashem Hashem s their comments Hashem the relationship we had before you messed up the relationship we had before the mistake before relationship we had before the poor judgment the relationship we had before the distance he placed between us Hashem afterwards not only can we restore what we have it can be better than ever it can be better than ever so don't go and mess up your life because even back your head you say you know I can indulge this appetite I can mess up because I could always come back better than ever that doesn't work you can't go in with that attitude not marriage not in a relationship with that but when often inevitably invariably we all make mistakes we need to know with him and if we're lucky in the relationship we have with others not only can we come back come back better than ever not only can we restore it can be more special than it ever was so in a sense when you experience that you make Katniss when you go into that dark or distant place when you're struggling your relationship with Hashem don't go there on purpose and don't be happier there but recognize that it's from there that you could bounce back better than ever it's from there you could bounce back better than ever you know sometimes you have to have you read the shame Aliyah you fall talk about the world of recovery Rock Bottom did they hit their rock bottom because only when you hit your Rock Bottom where you get the bounce and when you hit a rock bottom and the more velocity you hit it with the higher the bounce will take you but sometimes you need to you need to hit a rock bottom in order to bounce and so there's something there's a value in that Katniss sometimes when you feel far apart and distance when you're not feeling that faith and you don't feel his presence you can lean into it Embrace that and use that to experience enormous growth and I'll end by telling you spoken about this and written about this once came across this article in the Science magazine yes it's a flex maybe it's science magazines I okay I tripped on the article I don't know how and it said the following bats sleep upside down why do bats sleep upside down bats b-a-t-s bat an animal the bats bats sleep upside down why do they sleep upside down bats can fly but bats have very short webbed arms so they're webbed arms enable them to have wings that can fly but the anatomy of their webbed arms are so short that they can fly but they can't lift off they have no lift they can't lift off but once they're in flight they can fly so you know why bats sleep upside down because when they're ready to fly when they wake up they let go gravity pulls them to the ground they pick up speed and by Falling they're able to gain flight and when I read that I said wow wow what a metaphor for us for life sometimes when you're falling when you're falling your free fall can just spiral downward or when you're falling it can build the philosophy the velocity to take flight you could use that fall to create the momentum that will allow you to fly to fly so that Katniss that fall that distance leaning into it embracing it feeling far away we can enable us and it can allow us to take flight and to be able to find lift to be able to go higher than ever take out your phone Go On by FM goldberg.org WhatsApp join our with app groups for bonus material continuing the conversation our schedule tonight 9pm we're going behind the bema with Myers Leonard talk about a fall that was turned into flight played for the Miami Heat made a big mistake came back and grow we'll talk all about how we can confront anti-Semitism in our time until next time first of all stay safe and secure and dry with the lights on electricity until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy