Living With Emunah (Part 227) - Smile for Success

good morning boca tov welcome back to living with emunah decaffeinated style everyone should have a meaningful and an uplifting fast i want to thank our generous sponsors of the series for the year our dear friends doctors avi and bella morgan in memory of her by dr brian galbraith in memory of bella's mother that's alan schanzer zertzeit is the tenth uh was the tenth of ada today's this morning shir is also sponsored by sarah margulies in commemoration of her mother's your site miriam bass mordecai on march 19th i hope sarah is watching and with us and wishing her well and thank you so much for that generosity and sponsored anonymously for their full serve should have a speedy painless and full raffle shleima ozer ben leia we are in the final stretch this is the last week of the brs global campaign if you've not yet contributed you're a brs member you're more than doing your part if you're not a brs member and you're enjoying our classes are writing our article our coffee cups then please brsonline.org global brsonline.org global please do your part to help enable us to continue to teach and to spread and to get the message out speaking of empty coffee cups so you know that we sold last week and we're going to sell them again this morning our caffeinate with kavanagh get your day started make the broccoli with kavanagh we also now have the disposable edition so next week amir tashem we will have them we'll be drinking from them they're free we'll also provide if people want to take a stack of them home for a donation so we have our reminder every day caffeinated with cavanaugh get your first barracuda started off correctly this is one of the benefits of coming in person if you're watching online we do not yet have the ability to sell you or send to you however for the right donation to the global campaign i'll fly there and bring it to you so be generous so what's that right donation that's a good question let me put it this way we're at 126 000 we have to get to 150 000. if you get us there i will fly and bring you whatever you want twenty four thousand dollars i can't fly and bring someone what they want the kevin will come with me and we'll take it out of the money so get us to the end and we're there okay before we jump into today today's time assessor we're going to talk about tennis esther and put him for a moment although we won't harp on it because there are many people listen to the amunish year not on the day that it's presented we want to continue to make it relevant all year round but i want to first read to you an amazing email i got several emails i love the emails but here's another amazing email about smiling i hope everyone's still doing their homework and smiling now you may say rabbi smile thomas esther who smiles on thomas esther it's a fast day fast days are about chuva they're about repentance can you text jeffrey to raise the air conditioning without breakfast it gets colder anyway tonight's esther's a fast day smile isn't that inconsistent isn't that incongruous isn't that in conflict with the notion of a fast day so the answer is you're wrong most fast days you're right the rambam writes that most fast days are near soros we fast because of the calamities and the tragedies that occurred to us and the fast day should motivate and spur us to do chuva by abstaining and refraining from physical material pleasure indulging in the physical material world it reminds us to emphasize our soul on the shama not our goof our body so normally a fast is there it's designed to elicit from us a sense of juva that we should do chuva but the rambam when he writes about tana's esther he doesn't say he doesn't say that we fast to commemorate calamity he says we fast on us we're fasting to remember the way they did it years ago 2000 years ago the jewish people were in peril two thousand years ago jewish people confronted their future and do you know what they did what did mordechai say what was morocco's reaction what was his antidote what was the answer to a wicked evil nefarious person who stood up and pledged to exterminate and eradicate the jewish people what did mordechai do he certainly didn't say no he doesn't mean it you don't understand him he had a rough childhood haman it's not his fault but he'll never follow through it's a bluff show him love you know what i did he said go and gather all the jewish people but sumo and go fast and davin go practice unity come together have a connection have camaraderie and when the miracle happens by the way we continue to promote that how much money is normally every man for himself have you been to a schmorg recently normally it's every person for themselves you take your life into your own hands ashmore i was marvel at the separate seating weddings that have a mick schmorg you know mick schmorg you know you could hashtag me too at a schmorg going for that piece of sushi or stuffed cabbage so what do you mean go and gather everyone with sumo and go fast go fast the mitzvah is we give a gift to the other person not every person themselves not who can amass and take the best food who can give and contribute why it's a big macho it's a debate the origin of the reason for michelle but the simple understanding of the magilla is go for moreyos go form a friendship go form a connection go form a bond go create community that's what saved us and got us through it and that's what will save us and get us through it again and that's what we create so therefore rambam writes that tonic esther today the fast it's not a sad fast it's not a somber fast this is not even a fast we're supposed to do chuba every day but this is not a fast to motivate us to dechuva today's fast is to remember and recall and to relive the way that we practice unity back then that the answer or the catalyst if you want to get to purim tonight if you want to get to the partying tonight it's preceded it must be preceded first by but we have to fast we have to feel together we have to feel connected so this is a fast which is not motivating or inspiring chuva this is a fast which is commemorative and reliving the way that we gather together back then if you want to get it together it's only by being together the way to get it together is by being together so there's no fewer reasons to fast this year than any other year you know my sister was in moldova she was volunteering with united at salah to help get people across the border she just uh went on the plane united arsenal has been commissioning planes bringing refugees to israel so i spoke to her when she got back to israel she was describing the scene she said it's mamish like fiddler on the roof you stand there and you watch the border and you're seeing you're seeing old people with canes and walkers believing all their possessions behind you're seeing women who said goodbye to their husbands who are not allowed to leave they have to stay and fight and there's no way that they'll ever know how they are there's no way for them to be in contact there's no connection for them to have you're seeing children you're seeing people leave all their possessions all their items buying come at the bare minimum with nothing and nowhere to go and if not for the people there taking care of them it's absolutely astonishing what's happening so are we not in a circumstance you know we sitting here in boca raton and sunny florida and palm trees and we watch the news and maybe we startled for a moment then we go back to what we were doing but there's something historic and horrific that's happening and our lives have to be interrupted and this thomas esther let us not only fast today just because it says we have to fast but let that fast be a recreation of coming together and of being together of getting together in order to be able to please god be worthy of hashem's salvation yet again let us be worthy of hashem's salvation yet again so oh how do we get to this smiling because you'll say but it's thomas esther the answer the raven writes the riven the great intellectual adversary of the rambam the rabbit writes that there's nothing wrong with being happy on this fast most fast you walk around somber and you dove in and you're serious and you grow and chew and introspection self-reflection but this fast thomas esther it's unlike any other fast this is a happy fest in other words tonight and tomorrow we'll relive purim but today we relive what enabled purim by coming together dominating fasting and so on so smiling is not antithetical or contradiction to tanis esther and purim so we've been talking about smiling simchen smiling and shidduchim so i got another email thanks from new york i won't say which community for all the awesome torah i'd love a mug fine too bad you don't lift your story on the ammunition there's got to be some privileges to being local now but again anonymous person for the right price i will hand deliver your mug your story on the moon brought me joy and a smile 20 years ago as a young single college graduate in the community i went for a bracha from a particular rebbe after four hours i was called in the rebbe said to be happy i said rabbi i am happy he said be happy i was like wow if this is all the rebbe said to me it must be a very deep torah concept it must be something i need i'm generally very happy positive person optimistic smiley but those words stuck with me and i turned my relationships especially with hashem to focus on happiness i made a conscious effort to smile much more and then sent me my zivag he sent me my other in a similar way to your story i was on the woman's side of the kiddish and show on the upper side and my now husband saw me smiling and he asked a friend who's that woman smiling and i was set up power of a smile and a moon we were married that test other and now a gazillion sleepless nights and four children thousands of ride to school mishmar sports i do it all with a smile each carpool smiles the first thing people notice externally she was wonderful reminder thank you um ps i was always petrified on parent teacher conference night okay anyway spoke about that also last week so smiling the power of a smile power of a smile that should be our campaign smile for shidduchim how many people are telling us stories that they hit a wall they weren't being set up they weren't meeting the other and they made a conscious effort to smile and that's what attracted people to them you notice the person smiling you know a person who has a positive energy and aura is not just who they are the positive energy and aura surrounds them it gets to the room before they get there so a smile a smile changes the energy a smile changes the aura a smile changes absolutely everything the power of the smile the power of simcoe the power of positive thinking power of a positive bias the positive of the power of positivity in general that is what we have been learning one more perm thought which is relevant all year whenever you're listening to this but it's worth listening to but silverstein quotes last time i shared with you of silverstone i told you once a month he puts out a safer called last month i shared with you his introduction where he talked about imagine you someone from 200 years ago met someone from today even though plumbing electricity dishwasher washing machine everyone must be happy no actually people are more miserable than ever how could that be remember that was last time so this time in his introduction for the second month of adar he talks about the following he says there are two people we have in tanakh who are matsuke who found favor in other people's eyes one of them is esther and who is the other is jose very good very good elaine is yosef yosev yosef and esther both find favor what do they have in common brazilian points out both of them are incredibly positive people both of them a smile and a positive energy and a positive aura and that's what finds favor in other people's eyes but here's the remarkable thing about both of them both of them had an incredibly challenging and otherwise objectively miserable lives or parts of their life yosef who's on top of the world is then thrown in a pit left to die sold to slavery falsely accused languishing in prison separating apart from his father and his family look at yosef's life look at yosef's life and yosef had every right to be down depressed negative focused on himself yosef had every right a stick she took a frown to sit there and say what was me you know i missed my father my mother passed away i didn't even get to know her i miss my family i'm in a foreign land i'm falsely accused if anyone had a right to be a little down and you say new what's the matter you say yeah you have a right to be a little down but jose stayed positive and hopeful and optimistic and faithful and he smiled he smiled and that changed his life and estradamalka you know normally a baby's born of silverstein writes this way a baby's born in the first scream is mazeltov when esther was born this first scream was i'm so sorry her mother died in childbirth esther never met her mother she was an orphan from day one from hour one from moment one instead of a being master of esther's baby naming was a shiva and she goes to live with her uncle mordechai and she's davening and desperate and lonely she marries her uncle and vashti dies and doing a uh beauty contest and esther darwin's her heart out and says let it not be me let me not be chosen let me not be noticed she knows she has striking looks and does hashem listen she's chosen she says let me live in the palace but there's so many other wives let him not notice or care about me does hashem answer no akash varus chooses and falls in love with her at every step of the way she dobbins and pours out her heart and seemingly every step of the way hashem says no no to having a mother no to finding happiness no to not be chosen no to not being favored every step of the way she dovens every step of the way he says no does she lose her faith does she lose her positivity does she lose her smile she still finds favor in the eyes of everyone around her yosef and that's why adar is the month of yosef each month is associated with one of the swatin adar in which purim occurs is the month of yosef because yosef and esther have this in common that no matter what's happening in their lives now you can imagine esther spends her life thinking that she's hearing no but at the end she looks back at the story and realizing every note was really a yes hashem was positioning her all along to be in the right place at the right time and able to say the right thing and save her people all along it seemed like she was getting no after no but really it was all one big yes just didn't know that till the end i said yesterday at the pasha class sasha of points out normally when we read the torah we read it as a scroll that we open so what we've just read then gets rolled into the scroll and you don't see it but the mcgill is unusual it's the only thing that we read that you have to unfold entirely it's called the nigeris a letter so we read it if you look tonight you'll notice tonight and tamar the balcore doesn't you know sit with a scroll my magilla i'm following along i have a scroll just the column that they're up to i read but the balcory the one reading the magilla unfolds the entire thing and folds it so they keep flipping it over but it's all open and says russia you know why because this is a story that you can only understand when the whole thing's open in front of you from beginning to end you have to see the entire thing at once we sometimes zoom in and we only see a moment of time and we don't understand where are you god and why me and why is this happening and sometimes you have to open the entire story and you have to have it all unfolded in front of you and only when you could see it from beginning to end does it come into clarity only then does it make sense and that's why we read the magilla in this unusual fashion yosef sitting languishing in prison do you know how joseph gets out of prison you know what day of the year he got out of prison by the way he commemorated every year on rosh hashanah rosh hashanah yosef got a new lease on life it was his rosh hashamah he got a new lease on life and he left prison on rosh hashanah what precipitated what was the catalyst to his leaving prison because there were two people that dreams and yosef successfully interprets their dreams and one of them remembers him when he gets out and that's yosef's ticket out why was joseph talking to them in the prison cell what was the conversation so the answer is yosef's sitting there and he sees two downtrodden he sees two negative people with a negative or a negative energy the miserable fabulous sad moaning complaining groaning and he says to them hey brothers hey what's with the sad face in this cell we're only happy this prison cell is only smiles get that sadness out of here what's with the sadness i said well it's sadness do you know who we were and how we got here you know the dreams that we had and what's going to be you says well i can interpret them i got bad news for one of you good news for one of you but i can interpret your dreams what precipitated what led to yosef's liberation from prison was no matter what he confronted no matter what he faced yosef was determined to be happy he put a smile on his face no matter what and i want to again qualify as i have the last several weeks i'm not suggesting that a person sitting shiva should sit with a smile on their face there are moments of emotional spiritual physical pain i'm not suggesting that while you're going through rehab for your torn achilles and it hurts that it's not okay for it to hurt you don't have to smile there are moments of pain of every which way and it's okay to not smile in those moments but the default what should be the default disposition the default disposition on our face should be a smile so yosef says i don't you think i'm happy to be here i'm also i was i was on top of the world i was thrown in a pit i was holding the slavery i was falsely accused do you know what i did for my boss potiphar do you know how i quadrupled his portfolio i made him a rich man i took care of his home do you know that when his wife put advances on me every single day as tempted as i was i respected and honored in marriage and you know what i got in return i'm sitting here in this prison and do you see me said with all that says joseph i've got a smile on my face you know why because a smile and happiness is a decision not an emotion says yosef i've made the decision to be happy i put a smile on my face so what about you two madua panekam what's the deal no sadness in this cell only happiness smile for shidduchim only happiness he says to the two of them and you know what happens he gets out because of that it's his rosh hashanah it happened on rosh hashanah and our rosh hashanah you want a new year care about other people ask them how they're doing take away their sadness and show them your smile like yosef so yosef and esther adar is the month of yosef esther the two of them were determined that no matter what can you imagine esther she says hashem it wasn't bad enough that i grew up i never met my mother not bad enough that i never met my mother she died in childbirth i never met her i know nothing about her there are no videos there are no pictures there's no testimonials there's nothing that wasn't bad enough and then instead of living happily married to my uncle who at least takes care of me took care of me now you took me into the home of kashmir and now you made me his favorite and now all of that's not enough but she doesn't say that she has a smile she's determined to be happy positivity bias and as these emails keep reflecting smiles change your life smile makes all the difference in the world i got another incredible email i'm gonna share it for next week when you can first caffeinate with cavanaugh and a cup of coffee so you'll remember the next week's story but smile smile changes the world and that's what the holiday of purim is all about it's not just about it's not just about an excuse and reason to party put them a smile be happy because you know whatever it looks like on the surface when you read the magilla do you see hashem's name it's nowhere in the black ink but it's all over the white parchment hashem's name is nowhere written with black ink but his name is etched everywhere on the white parchment you gotta look for it you gotta find it you have to reveal it and you have to remember that no matter what appears in the surface no matter what it looks like on the outside there's a deeper reason a deeper meaning a deeper purpose there's a deeper story so smile smile because we're going to find out what it is we are on page kufn gimmel 153 of ichamere it's like mayor morgenstern we've been discussing this notion that smiling that happiness is a decision not an emotion [Music] that when we attach ourselves to someone or something which is shalem and whole then we can feel whole when we feel incomplete or broken we can't feel happy so how can we feel happy by being connected to that which is whole there's only one whole thing in the world and that is hashem say something amazing the we are programmed to be happy we're programs to be happy i know that because children are happy babies i don't mean when they have a dirty diaper or need their next feeding but babies are happy you look at a baby and smile they smile you look at a baby they smile makes you smile babies are programmed their default is to be happy children are happy and then what happens life life gets in the way and they think the world teaches them what are you so happy about you're not supposed to be happy who told you to be happy or ita said what are you so happy about so they lose the default why were they happy when they were so young because it was obvious there's a creator they have a mommy and a daddy and they have a mommy and daddy and there's a mommy and daddy for them and there's a hashem so when you're young and innocent and pure and one might say naive before you're hardened and cynical and skeptical so you know there's a god and that makes you happy all the time because whatever happens in your life there's a god and then you grow up maybe i don't know doubt uncertainty the voice of molly creeps in who knows and is it really true and i once heard and i saw something and this question makes me believe that i can't be happy can't be true and when those voices of doubt and uncertainty the voices of molly creep in then this little child whose default was to smile and be happy learns in life to be miserable that we're supposed to be miserable so the default the way we're programmed is to be happy don't mess it up don't ruin it raise children and teach them and remind them to be happy to be happy i think i mentioned last week awesome this year is dedicated to the memory of brian gal but he was happy and you know what because he smiled and chose to be happy his children are incredibly happy it's the defaults the way they were brought up they did they were never taught you're supposed to be miserable so silly them they're still happy they still believe that hashem is the reason they're growing up without their father but their father taught them that no matter what you face you can and should be happy smile and you have that capacity hashem is amazing and everything is amazing and the world is amazing has been telling us that the thoughts any thought any thought that brings you to sadness is the voice of the atahara so the voice that says you're inadequate you're unworthy you're incapable you're pathetic you're a failure that's not anything positive to listen to ah i thought we're supposed to do introspection and reflection i thought we're supposed to evaluate our lives we are in the positive in a growth oriented mindset but the voice that says don't bother don't try you're nothing you're a failure it never works that voice silence it reject it mute that voice because that is the voice of the eight sahara because any voice which makes you sad and somber any voice with white wipes away your smile that is not the voice of the total it's the voice of the eight sahara sheker of the toes it's a lie it's false it's fake it's counterfeit the incumbent and let's say you had a fall and let's say you had a failure and let's say you added a discretion let's say you made a mistake and you need to learn from it you could be better there are positive ways to analyze and learn from it but to look at it and learn from it in a way that makes you feel knocked down makes you feel like you can't get up makes you feel like you're unworthy that is the voice of the eight sahara that is the voice of um points out we're not talking about you violated very clear boundaries you did very egregious or heinous things that are wrong there a person should feel a certain level of shame or guilt because that's a healthy way to experience and hopefully not repeat we're talking just in general talking you had the cape cod potato chips at midnight we're talking about they're talking about you did something which doesn't cross a clear line nowhere in chicago doesn't say you can't have somebody texted me what happened to the trader joe's corn chips happens to be i'm not going to say who but i happen to notice buried deep in a cabinet late last night don't ask why i was rummaging through for a fast day it was a mitzvah someone bought a bag at trader joe's corn chips i'm not sango but she'll deliver you a coffee cup for the right price to new york matsango related to her through marriage but i'm not saying who so cook cape cod potato chips trader joe's corn chips whatever is your kryptonite so we're talking about not something which is cl it doesn't say in shock you can't eat them it does you have to be healthy you have to eat right you have to take care of yourself but there's no siff and chocolate specifically says cape cod potato chips trader joe corn chip nobody mentions them nobody mentioned they probably ate them enjoyed them they would love them but they don't mention them they don't mention them explicitly so you say to yourself yeah so then the next day you wake up by the way check the bag is unopened thank you very much thank you very much it was a battle it was a war knocked off an entire cube of rice cakes instead that was a better way to go right better way to go cube of rice cakes but the corn troops are unopened that battle was won i've lost a lot of battles but this is a particular battle that was won we're going to win the war so you did something that you were great you did something incongruous and consistent with your stated values or your stated goals or your stated resolution and then you want to beat yourself up because plenty of times i tell you the bag is wide open and in fact the bag has crumpled the bottom of the garbage because it was finished from top to bottom so you wake up the next morning after one of those where you lose the battle and you beat yourself up you feel miserable and down and negative and you hate yourself the very language i use say i hate myself why did i just do that i am the most lowly pathetic i hate myself so that's the voice of the eight sahara you could say well here's what i need to do to make sure that doesn't happen again here's what i can learn from that or i can let it go because it's okay once in a while but a voice that says i hate myself that's an unhealthy voice the voice of the eight sahara that's the voice of amalek shabazzo if that voice of self-criticism causes you to grow and improve and be better and a better version of yourself as i said of mode that is very good the voice that says be better you could be better here's how to do it better that's a great voice that's a coach that's a coaching voice that's a trainer a value there's a harm and has but it's such a fine line between the voice of the coach inside your head that says you could do better you could be bitter here's how and the voice that says you'll never do better you aren't better you keep failing just be down on yourself it's a very fine line the difference between those voices you need to know that's not what hashem wants hashem doesn't want you to be racked with guilt and misery he's recently talking to somebody who's hot and cold in their religious life they're either all in or all out they're all out right now and he said to me you know why because i couldn't take it anymore that i just felt guilty all the time no matter how hard i tried no matter what i did all i felt was guilt by what i wasn't doing or what i could have done better and it's easier for me to just be entirely out not observant not involved not doing anything admires and loves and believes total way of life is the right way but in his own mental health and his own life experience he says i couldn't take it when i was in i was just riddled and racked by guilt all the time that's not what hashem wants hashem didn't design a torah way of life and a judaism that he wants us to beat ourselves up and be miserable and hate ourselves and be racked by guilt and shame all day long that's not why he gave us his torah kedosha that's not why he gave us access to his diary that's not why he shared his blueprint for creation you know it's like it's just occurred to me this mushroom i never thought about it this way you know you have google docs you make a google doc you can share it with others and only people who have the link can read it and if you don't they don't have access to it and some can comment some can be editors and some are read only because torah he gave it he only shared the link with claudia sorrell he said you have access to my blueprint you go back to my google.cold hear the secrets to world secrets to life he gave it to the jewish people he wanted to give it to the whole world but they proved unworthy and then he said instead of making it an open link for anyone it's now a closed link and only the jewish people have my link now tarshish bhaksava khan they gave to everybody but terish about is just for jews that's why the bible's in every draw of every hotel that's available to everybody that link is open for the torah shabbat that link is only for us the link is read only in the target about the link is you can comment and edit you can't edit arturo shabab but it means that the authors of the torah shabbat edited and we can comment on what they edited so each each generation had a different level of access to that link if you haven't been on google docs you have no clue what i'm talking about right now but if you live with google docs you love that muscle it's a great muscle i love that muscle so gave us a link to the google doc he said here's the secret to life here's the blueprint to creation here's the way to do it don't beat yourself up when you don't get it perfect because i know you won't get it perfect and you know how i know you won't get it perfect because i created you because you are me and i know your assets and talents and skills and i know your liabilities and challenges and i'm the most forgiving god i've set up a system where i'm forgiving every day three times a day you say ashi venus and every day hashem says i say to you it's okay we'll start again every day don't beat yourself up can you imagine what a forgiving god is imagine if we could be as flexible and forgiving as he is in our relationships in life every day we promise sasha i'm today's going to be different hashem this is it this is the day this is the day i do everything the way you want i remember you i talked to you i'm grateful to you i follow your rules this is it this is the day and like before we're three seconds into the day we've already violated him 20 different ways we forget to dab and we didn't watch the negabossa correctly and i forgot to make the bracha he didn't have kavanaugh i made the like 20 different ways that we forgot and violated hashem within the first 20 minutes of the day that's not a new challenge that's just a reality the likelihood is and what does hashem say the next day day after day after day year after year after year of that happening 40 50 60 years old of doing that and what hashem says the next day he says it's okay my child it's okay start again try again today it's okay try again today i'll tell you what parent would not say to their child who every day says i know i told you i was going to call you today and every day i tell you i'm going to call you and every day i mean to call you and every day i want to call you and i didn't call you again and then the child for 20 years doesn't call in every day apologizing everyday promises the next day what would a parent say wouldn't the parent say it's okay just just try again tomorrow i really which every day you'll start to call me i'll be grateful and i'll take that call i love you it's okay i want to kill you i'm pretty disappointed in you it's pretty painful but my love transcends and supersedes all that my love for you is so much greater than whatever disappointment i have so you know what it's okay it's okay my child it's okay my kinder try again tomorrow that's what the bonus is so he says any voice in your head that's saying beat yourself up knock yourself down you're unworthy you're incapable you're pathetic knock that voice down that's the voice of amalek knock that voice down as the voice of the eight sahara the only voices in our head should be you made a mistake learn from it grow from it be better as a result of it but smile it's gonna be great it's gonna be okay it's gonna be okay it's gonna be okay that's what we say to our children that's what hashem says to us because we are his child we are his children that's how he feels and that's what he says so this is so important this is so important because we're living i think among many people you know the spike of mental health challenges that are going on in the world unprecedented levels not being spoken about nearly enough it is the they are the casualties of corona whose data and statistics far surpass not to minimize the tragedies of the loss of human life and the people who are still struggling with law and corona but the mental health consequences of that pandemic far surpass in numbers the casualties physically it's not being spoken about or addressed enough particularly among children who live through a historic horrific event some places and cases are still living through it so this message that don't feel like a failure don't knock yourself down don't be a lost soul that those voices we have to eradicate and remove and eliminate that we have to build ourselves up and smile and be our best and believe in ourselves and believe in our best stop comparing ourselves to others just saw an article in a newspaper that you can't say in front of the kodesh whatever out of new york that talked about a new challenge online for boys girls have had for a long time body image issues and eating disorder issues by comparison because of online boys are having i forgot what the name of this illness what they labeled it but boys are seeing images online of other boys who are so strong and muscular and buff and big and now they're doing all kinds of very unhealthy things to try to live up to that standard so girls are eating disorders in order to be the size they think the world wants them to be and boys are taking other kinds of shortcuts to develop the muscles and physique they think the world wants them to be and what's at the root of both of those horrific pandemics following and living not only your life but living everyone else's life a fake view of everyone's life by the way a counterfeit carefully curated view of other people's life and then destroying your own life as a result feeling negative as a result because you think you can't live up imagine if we just shut all that down imagine if we could turn back the clock a little bit you can go back to living your life how much happiness well we can we just don't we struggle to but we can so in honor of tonight's esther today be happy this fast is not a sad fast a happy fast but that smile keep on smiling and the world smiles with you smile for shidduchim smile for parnassa smile for shalom bias smile for nachos from your children smile for brocco smile smile for success in life the power of the smile smile anatanus we let go the root of so much sadness is thinking we're in charge we're in control and the source of so much success is letting go and that's why again not everybody should drink or could drink but those who let themselves go this once of the year lose their capacity to comprehend that means i forfeit my ability to understand i don't even pretend like i can follow or understand the world is an enigma the world is a mystery i'm not in control everyone's wearing costumes i don't recognize and i can't tell the truth of anything i say it backwards upside down because hashem i'm a vat on my das to you i'm simply nullifying and relinquishing everything i know and believe all to you you're in charge you're in control i'm a garnish i know nothing and so you know what happens as a result you think on the day of the year where you nullify and relinquish your comprehension your knowledge your understanding would be the saddest day of the year i walk around all said i don't understand i don't know i'm nothing it's the opposite the day in which we say i can't see i can't really anticipate i can't predict i can't control and you know what let's sing and dance let's be happy the result of saying i can't anticipate predict control anything is now i could be happy because what was making me miserable was thinking that i could micromanage the world and when i let go of that of that illusion that i could micromanage the world now i could be happy that's why it's the happiest day so wishing everyone a purim should be a fantastic purim if you're listening to the sanchushan purim a great shushan purim if you're listening to it next week have a fantastic next purim but the principles of purim apply all year round so make that decision to be happy you can go out now you shouldn't drink from it yet still a fast day but you could buy your cup outside and if you've not yet given brsonline.org global until next time stay happy stay healthy and stay holy