Living With Emunah (Part 173): Making Time to Think

okay good morning khodesh tov to all i apologize for being a little bit delayed an exercise in exactly the topic of our shir and amuna because my computer decided right before we began that it was the perfect time to download an update and my computer is still updating so i didn't have my computer available for this class and had to go and run and um and borrow one of my children's computers so thank you for your patience and understanding as we are figuring uh still figuring this out i greatly appreciate it okay i want to thank our uh generous sponsors from all over the place this morning first of all the stove a good product and a good hanukkah and a good day to everybody thank you to the morgans for the generosity sponsoring in memory of rabbi dr brian galbet as well as in memory of belle's mother ellen thank you so much for your generosity okay we're continuing living with emunah how can we live our lives each and every day and feel the presence of hashem we live in our lives every day and not be fully and worry and panic on our computers to decide to download updates and it says 38 minutes remaining when there are four minutes to the emunashir and you have to scramble to go steal your child's computer how can you say that's hashem's plan hashem if you want me to share your torah to work and if not it won't work and so be it so that's what we're exercising and trying to figure out each and every wednesday when we meet and all the times in between trying to live our lives and fill our lives it should be ashamed that there is a god that hashem loves us and that hashem has expectations of us and that hashem is with us so we were up to the second chapter on vacation richard my mortgage turned the wonderful safer by young and he has been teaching us the methodology the strategy what are the qualities we need necessary in order to acquire a life of us of clinging to and attaching ourselves and sticking with god and the first excuse me strategy he spoke about is the notion of emunah living with emunah and he ended this by saying that a person needs to be diligent in reviewing this forum and exposing ourselves to the teachings and the lessons and the ideals of emunah and moon is not going to happen if you wake up in the morning and no matter how committed you are if you learn the daffy you mean you go to school three times a day and you make breakfast before and after you eat and you try to be careful not to gossip or slander and treat people respectfully no matter how careful you are with observing all of the torah and mitzvos but if a person if a person is not going to allocate and dedicate time to thinking about these cosmic things is there a god and what does he want from me and do i feel his presence and am i in a relationship with him am i spending time communicating and confiding in him if a person is not going to allocate that time and to have that experience they're not going to live that life and so externally you can go through all the motions externally you can be doing all the right things but it won't add up to a feeling of closeness to an intimacy and affection with the almighty it won't lead up to a feeling of knowing why i'm here and the difference i'm meant to make if a person doesn't spend that time and he ends that first section with a footnote he says bashville in order to acquire true vegas to cling and to attach ourselves he says in order to really acquire this you need to attach yourself to a sadaq now this is a particularly hasidisha doctrine or approach the doctrine of the sadiq part of the novelty or the introduction or what hasidas placed greater emphasis i should say maybe not introduced was the idea of taking upon ourselves a rebbe sadiq in other words for the nephew and for the more litvisha approach the torah is primary and central it's really about our study of torah or learning of torah torah informs and torah inspires that's not to suggest for hasidus torah doesn't play a similar or the same role but it means that hasidim said you can't do it alone you need a support system and a support network but more than that the first step or the prerequisite even an earlier than a first step the prerequisite to living a life of amunah is to believe that you could live a life of emunah is to believe that you're capable of having a muna you're capable of feeling the presence of the almighty in your life some of us sometimes despair we give up hope we don't believe that it's going to happen we say no i've tried i've tried to talk to hashem i've tried to feel his love but it feels like he shares with me and showers me with anything but love i try to doesn't go anywhere i don't feel it i don't feel him i don't know if he feels me it just doesn't go so i don't know if i believe it i'm not sure i'm sure there's a god i'm sure there's an omnipotent creator i'm sure there's a source of all but i just don't know and i just don't feel it so says richard meyer the prerequisite to living a life with emunah is to believe that we can and that we will live a life of ammuna so how can you instill and cultivate how can you acquire that belief that we're capable of a life of a munna so he suggests one way is attaching ourselves to a sadiq find somebody who is filled with ammuna and attach yourself to them observe them and watch them talk to them and ask them learn from them spend time with them and it's contagious the amuna that life of faith that life of courage the life of resiliency will be contagious you will acquire it you will absorb it we've shared this several times and i'll share it again because just in the context of what we're learning right now it really comes out i was once speaking with somebody who's in the recovery program and you know one of the 12 steps in recovery and what is recovery recovery is letting go letting god is submitting to a higher power it's saying that there are things beyond my control and therefore i have to reach out for help help from people in a support network and help from the creator help from the one is really in charge so when one gets to that step the step of submitting to a higher power there are many people who struggle at that step if you've led a secular life or even if you let a religious life but you feel god has not been there in your spiral downward in the life of addiction many people struggle when they get to that step the step of submitting to a higher power so what do you do that's it can't go on program's over for you you'd say glad you've hit the glass ceiling so someone who's been successfully for a long time part of the recovery programming community told me something fascinating he said that when you when you mentor somebody when you are a sponsor for someone when someone new joins the program and they get stuck there at submitting to a higher power you know what we say to them you say find somebody else who has a higher power and submit to their higher power it means find someone else in the program who you admire who you look up to who looks like they're successful who is willing to be your mentor your sponsor and they have a higher power they life they live with a consciousness and a mindfulness that there's a god and he has a plan ride their coattails grab on to them submit to their higher power and i would say similarly when it comes to emunah and i say this all the time particularly i think that was my computer in the background finally having reached its update hashem thank you hashem whatever your timing is this morning um i say the same for as long as we can have the gift of having access to holocaust survivors holocaust survivors who went through the worst atrocities in the history of humanity who went through with that which is unimaginable to us went through horrific loss and horrific pain and a horrific oppression of persecution and many or most of whom maintained faith and maintained faith in people in the world and who rebuilt themselves with positivity and it's on their shoulders that we sit and you can connect to when one is in the program of emunah and says well i just don't know i've reached out and i've looked for him and i haven't felt he's there i've struggled to connect i just don't know i'm capable i don't know what's possible i don't know if anybody does attach yourself to that sadiq says whether it's a rebbe or whether it's at sadaq and you see the way that they have mindful living you see that god is bone that god is in the room and part of every conversation and part of every calculation and for that righteous man or woman hashem is an active not figment of imagination but an active presence in their life so attach yourself to such a person connect and live with such a person and put to me at the highest of those levels is the holocaust survivor so the person who went through what they went through so a magnificent picture uh recently of a survivor lighting hanukkah candles and the image of their touching their candles to their hanukiah with the numbers on their arms showing and the contrast of what the numbers on the arm represent in history and what lighting the menorah represents about our destiny and hope and faith and illuminating and dispelling the darkness and if a survivor with numbers on their arm could use that arm to reach out to light that menorah and bring greater light into this world to in the candles of that menorah see the orhaganas the hidden light the light of mashiach the light of redemption the light of possibility the light that illuminates and lets us see from one into the world to the other then certainly we can so he says part of that strategy is to attach yourself now it could mean attach yourself to a living sadiq a living righteous man or woman but it could also mean attach yourself to a biography i've said this several times that among the most transformational transformative inspiring activities are reading biographies of really special people first of all you see in these biographies that these people were not necessarily born this way they worked hard to become who they became they they had to they had to uh progress they had to work on themselves they had to work on themselves they weren't born this way you know we follow the opinion of basilo and we begin with one candle the first night and we build our way up to eight candles on the eighth night and basilo explains his opinion is we add on and we go on moses if we add on the hole and we and we go on and that's the opinion of basilo besham i starts with eight and goes to one beisham i says you gotta consolidate and you gotta reduce you know in cooking i'm told you can make something called a reduction a reduction is when you boil off i think and again correctly if or don't even correct me i don't want to hear if i'm wrong but a reduction is you boil off the excess liquid the excess soup and you've created a reduction which is a very potent form of what you wanted filled with flavor so in cooking you have something called the reduction and in life you have something called consolidating to that which is essential versus non-essential in life and so so too in life basham i said you go from eight and then we go to one why we're consolidating we're trying to create a reduction which will be more potent and a more powerful force in our life they still disagree and we follow basilo the first night we light one candle and then most of the holy we add on and we go until we get to eight candles because that's a lesson for our lives we are most of the holy we're always adding on and we're going so when you read a biography of a great person and you realize they were mostly they weren't born number eight they were born number one or even if they were born number five or six they had to work on themselves to become the number eight that they to become the number eight thank you melanie that's a reduction to become the number eight that that they were so read biographies read biographies and i'll even go so far and be so bold as to tell you don't only read biographies of jewish heroes of righteous and jewish men and women there are biographies all the abe lincoln biographies about how many times he failed before he succeeded all the biographies of people who had to overcome obstacles and hardship in order to be able to endure with resiliency and resolve and that becomes contagious when we read that we see possibility for the very reason richard meyer is describing because the biggest challenge to living this life is a failure to believe that we can live this life is when we concede and surrender before we ever start so when you read the biography of people who maybe were in similar circumstances or even if they were in others but they found the inner strength when you read the biographies of righteous jewish men and women who inspire us the capability the possibility the capacity it is possible then we can attach ourselves so whether we submit to our own higher power or we attach ourselves to someone else's a higher power you know the story of the blizzard of arabic jumping over the canyon and the person says i was holding on to you we can hold on to the people who have incredible faith and ride their coattails when you attach yourself to a person who's attached themselves to hashem you're part of that chain you're part of that you're part of that current you're part of that current you know a couple years ago um we did a staff outing the rabbis went uh well you know once uh once a year we go and try to do something fun together to not only be working hard but play hard together so we mix it up different years and we do different things so one year we went to an escape room and there were some great minds in that escape room on our team we have some really smart people so we had a lot of fun not only getting out of the room but competing who could find the clues to get us out of the room and we were at the last stage the final stage to get out of the room not only to get out within the time that they give but you know rabbis can be slightly competitive we wanted to kill that time we wanted to get out really early and there was one last thing to open that door we couldn't figure it out and one of the rabbis figured it out that there was um the key on the one end and on the other end of the room there was something and the people in the room had to hold hands in order to create an electric current between the two which would open the door for us forget what the clues were to be able to be able to do that we had to be able to hold hands we had to get today you couldn't do that corona so i guess you're stuck in that room forever to cover which is a perfect quarantine but in those days you could still touch people you could still hold hands so we had to hold hands which created the electric current which enabled us to be able to open the door so if you attach yourself to a righteous person who attaches themselves to god you are tapping into that electric current called faith you are connecting through them to a life of divacus to a life of clinging to god there is that possibility there is that capability and that capacity we absolutely can we absolutely can do it and so that's the effort that we need to make of course the more direct route is to connect to and attach to ourselves to ourselves to god directly we shouldn't need to go through someone else however sometimes you have to take an indirect route and then we can see when you become a link in the chain when you become a link in the electric current then you are part of that electrical system and you connect to the source and you can get the jolt of the muna from hashem of feeling attached and feeling connected to him so all of that was number one you want to be able to live a life of divers you want to live a life where you attach yourself to hashem but when your computer doesn't start and you're about to teach you don't panic but instead you take a deep breath and you turn to him you say whatever your plan is we'll figure this out if you want to be able to get to that level then it starts with ammuna you can't attach yourself to someone or something you don't believe exists so the first step is to believe and to know and to live with his existence and then once a person has achieved that or is on their way to achieving that most of the holocaust is growing in achieving that then they can attach themselves to the thing the person the the being they know exists number one number two uh it's not enough to know that god exists that's a moon that's step one there's a being there's a source he created the world he's involved into molina every detail of our lives that's number one but he doesn't exist in abstract he doesn't exist academically he doesn't exist in theory he doesn't exist for other people but i have a relationship with him he knows and he has expectations of me and he loves me and he understands me and i can confide and trust in him and i can love him and i can have awe and fear of him so no subscribe a person has to awaken arouse their heart you have to be able to enter into a relationship some people struggle with relationships with people those that they can see and feel and touch and hear imagine how hard it will be for them to have a relationship with an invisible being with the almighty being who is everywhere we have to have the capacity for relationships to trust and to be trusted to confide to spend time to communicate to emote to love to feel the kashriya mayhem and when you have that capacity when you're able to feel love when you're able to recoil with a sense of awe and admiration with affection then you'll be able to attach yourself but derek let's go slav so what's the path how do we get to the point of being able to love and to fear yra translates literally to fear and of course yura literally means fear but era means something so much more if you've studied with me you know there's one of my pet peeves the era means aw to be in awe not awesome like you're some teenager or a hippie from the 60s it's awesome dude it's awesome man because we've totally minimized that word we've diluted that word the word awesome no longer means anything the song is awesome the food is awesome everything's awesome but really the word awesome means to be filled with awe it's awesome it's worthy of all you know it's worthy of awe magnificent sunrise or sunset the birth of a child the miracle of life that's awesome that is awesome so when it's filled with love or awe of god when we're exposed to when we're able to feel all we are the opposite if the hippies thought everything was awesome we have the opposite uh plague where the generation today thinks nothing is awesome we look at everything we say ah i'm not impressed that artwork that sculpture i could print that in my 3d printer that would ah i could do that i could create that i could recreate that nothing impresses me that's a new word i didn't grow up with the word e i wonder if it's yet made the webster's dictionary everything is nothing impresses us nothing impresses us somehow we think it takes away from us our ego if that impresses me then it means that really i'm inferior i'm small i'm looking up and i'm being impressed by that thing which is worthy of having of but if i say ah if nothing impresses me it's because i'm really on top of the mountain it's because everything is inferior to me i'm really on top so everything is one big fat ah we've lost that ability for all we have to be able to feel all to return and recover to a sense of awe that there are things that are worthy of being in awe of there are people who have behaviors there are people who have minds there are people who have achievements there's this world that we look at and that we live in that's worthy of being in awe of not to say but to say wow wow that is worthy of being in awe of so do you live your life wanting to feel hashem's love ava the wow is the moments of he did that for me that worked out i was worried it wasn't going to in the last minute there was a solution or a coincidence where it was aligned to the way everything came together i feel his love and in other moments that you say wow i am filled with awe that is awesome that is worthy of awe and a healthy dose of year of fear is not bad either yura's aroma most and years is fear of punishment you know because as much as god is our romantic loving partner and we live the metaphor of husband and wife longing and love and connection but simultaneously he's also our father and he's also the king and as a parent and those who want along to become parents should be blessed with having healthy children but a parent knows that we love our children unconditionally take a bullet for them but we also have expectations and dreams and hopes for them and we want our children to know that and to live with that and we as the children of the almighty live with that year the notion that there is a reward and punishment uh last week or two weeks ago we did five conversions in one day we had a little bit of a build up so good day for the jews we brought five new jews into the world wonderful people great additions big assets to the jewish people five new jews in the world so one of the questions that we ask them in the mikvah the series of questions we ask that you have to answer yes or no is do you believe in reward and punishment you know this is not just like you believe in gefilte fish and uh sufganiyot it's not just believe in latkes and you believe in do you believe in reward and punishment these are not 613 suggestions it's not 613. if you feel like it if you're up to it if you agree with me if you're in the mood if you want to these are 613 expectations hashem has now he doesn't have them for himself he doesn't need them or benefit from them he has them for us but they are what we call commandments they are mitzvos by the way the root of the word is connection is a connection hashem is drawing he's making a connection with us through the mitzvos that he asks us to do so we have a father in heaven he has expectations of us when we fail those expectations there are consequences it's a reality of the world that we live in there are consequences when you fail in school and there are consequences when you fail at work and there are consequences when you fail in life and there are consequences when you fail god now we don't believe that he's a harsh god who's looking to hurt us or destroy us he's loving he's forgiving he is eager for us to repair but there are consequences that's the eraser ownerships fear of punishment we have to live and know like the convert in the mikvah who's asked we are asked every day do you believe in reward and punishment do we believe and know that there are expectations from above that's one form of era but there's also yirasa roman must you rumors means i'm so blown away i'm so in awe you know have you ever met a great person you admire i don't mean a celebrity who's an influencer an influencer is another way of saying they don't actually contribute anything meaningful to the world but somehow they've drawn a lot of attention so when they see something it gets a lot of attention i mean people worthy of awe a nobel prize winner somebody you know shouts backwards and forwards that's that she is the most selfless thing you've ever seen in your life when you meet greatness and all of a sudden you you don't you panic you don't have words you have goosebumps you're so nervous you don't know what to say you're filled with a year as a romance you are in the presence of greatness and when one is in the presence of greatness they recoil they feel they defer to the fact that they are in the presence of greatness and if that's the case when it comes to a human being the presence of greatness and all the more so when you're in the presence of the almighty the creator the greatest artist whatever you admire whether it's wisdom or art or athleticism a mind a heart a soul god is all that he is the source of all that and when a person can properly live with the awareness that we are in the presence of the almighty then the euros are roman was that sense of awe the oauth the grand canyon or uh or you go to um jackson hole or wyoming you go to uh wherever you go to eric israel you go to the golan the galil dead sea magnificent sights he said and stare at harabai's what was once there the habdo to these other examples then a person feels yura wow oh so here's the thing how do you get there so again let's start our goal what we've been studying is we want to get to a place of tobacco we want to glue and attach ourselves to god we want to know don't panic don't feel envy don't feel anger don't feel anxiety but rather it's vagus if we attach and glue ourselves to him if we know he has our back we can relax then we can be happy with what we have then we can know that there's always a plan that's our goal how do you get to vegas how do we get to that place of mindful living that god is always in the room his hand is always on my shoulder his expectations of me how do i get there first step was emunah i have to believe he exists if i don't believe he exists i'll never attach myself to him what if i'm struggling to believe not believe what if i'm struggling to know that he exists read biographies attach ourselves to somebody who knows grab on to someone else's higher power number two his bonus to be contemplative meditative reflective to think about that there is a god in his role in our lives lisbon velazquez is so i would ask you if we were together in person i would ask you this question when is the last time that you allocated time when is the last time that you stopped with no agenda not reading a book not listening to a class not in conversation with another person you stopped and you sat and you thought just about god you thought about him thought about his presence in your life thought about his existence thought about that relationship and that connection thought about where you've been together and where you want to go together liz boning to contemplate to think about to reflect the show and his greatness when's the last time you reviewed your practice what's app group when's the last time that you read your journal where you talked about god did some outstanding thing for you or some small seemingly inconsequential coincidence but it really was nice to know he cared um and with all that love that he feels for us and when a person thinks about god he will merit to connect and to cling to him and i'll tell you last night we were watching hanukkah family activity in the goldberg home but we were watching the highlights of each of my daughter's weddings so when watching it i was filled with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude to hashem hashem they found their spouse and beautiful simcha we were able to have and it was an overwhelming feeling of of gratitude and really feeling so beyond blessed but there was another amazing feeling i had in watching both of those vimeos or highlights where these things are called of what were for me at least magnificent weddings and that was i was watching my wife in action making sure every detail was done and even in the highlights her concern for the happiness of my daughters that everything would work out and i felt so connected i felt so appreciative and she wasn't watching with us at the moment i wrote her a text thank you for all your hard work thank you for everything that you did in order to create and produce those two magnificent events in order for making our children and me so happy uh i'm not a hero i'm sure there are ten examples where i could be a much better husband i'm not telling it to you for uh for accolades or pat on the back i'm giving to as a metaphor or example that when you stop and you reflect and you think about wow someone's done something so meaningful so significant for me my life is so improved and enriched from them someone cares and someone through their love wanted things to be right i feel connected you feel attached you feel appreciative you feel love you feel a bond and if that's what's true with people that when you think about you reread the card that you were given or you get some meaningful email or a gesture or a moment and you feel attached you feel connected to that person then the same is true with the almighty if you allocate the time to read the card that hashem sends us what i didn't get card what card are you talking about what card does hashem said hashem sends a card every day did you wake up are you breathing are you healthy do you have a roof over your head and a car to drive do you have people who you love and that love you that he sends you a card do you have things that have worked out for you that you didn't think we're going to work out things have come together in ways that you're so appreciative stop and think about watch the video of life watch the vimeo the highlight reel of your own life think about be misboning be contemplative and reflective and meditate and think about the almighty and just like i felt wow i just have to pause and say thank you and send this text and of course i sent a text even though she was in the other room because that's how we do things today but uh you have to stop and send hashem a text talk to hashem i'm attaching myself thank you there is a direct ratio says there's a direct relationship the more contemplative you are the more time you allocate to think and to feel then the more you will attach the more you will connect the more you will feel that bond the more that you will submit and surrender to him this is the whole area that we call his bodhidus this both of this and his bone in us you have to spend some alone time put your phone on airplane mode you're allowed to do that even when you're on the ground put your phone on airplane mode and sit put on a timer and for three minutes each day just be just think just connect just absorb just be reflective our mind is filled with so much noise and so much activity and so much input and so much output that there's so much static we can't hear ourselves literally and it's so damaging and most damaging is it divides us from hashem and so a person has to allocate time because if you say you're going to do it you're never going to do it you have to do it you have to allocate time each and every day to think to think to go for a walk without a phone you don't have to sit still while you're doing it you could go for a walk and leave your phone at home you could put your phone on airplane mode and sit in the room you can whatever posture you want to take whatever position and whatever moment you want to do it but vegas is directly proportional to the amount of reflection and how contemplative we are about god are we in conversation with him do we think about him do we look for him do we spend the time with him records the very beginning of the code of jewish law it begins when a person thinks about reflects upon that the great king the king of kings hashemale caller who fills the entire world with his glory o made allah stands over us and is observing and recording all that we do immediately we will feel the sense of awe i i have to deliver to him he has expectations of me and also that sense of wow he is awesome he's awesome what he does and what he's done in this world it is awesome there's an invisible virus that has put that has just suspended the entire globe all of humanity nobody's unaffected and in the year 2020 when we think we've advanced and we think we've come so far and we think we're in charge and we think we're in control person has to stop and submit and surrender and realize we are paralyzed we are quarantined our life is on hold we are isolated we only exist and we only find happiness because of the goodness and the graciousness of the ness of god the year 2020 is the most humbling year at least of my existence that we are not in control and that we are not in charge and that we don't even know but he's also given us the tools he's awesome because here we are before the end of the year and the vaccine is already being administered he gave us the ability the breakthroughs of science we are living if this if this virus had hit an earlier generation who didn't have the technology the science the medical know-how the manufacturing and and uh and uh distribution capability millions would have died millions who knows how many losses we would have sustained we are meriting to live in a generation and at a time that had the ability to operate at warp speed and to respond we've still lost way too many tragically we've lost way too many but think about how blessed we are in that regard do we stop and reflect are we contemplative do we think do we thank for the small things like living in a time that we can discover an antidote and please god merit to receive it soon and hopefully go back to some sense of normality he's all around us and he's talking to us and the question is do we see him and do we submit to him that's what chanukah is all about halal the notion of hode is admission is a concession god you're in charge yes i have to take my initiative yes i have to do my part but afterwards it's all up to you do i think about that do i allocate time so that's your homework for next week put on your schedule your google calendar your outlook calendar whatever calendar you use write it in your little your mind whatever you do but write down or put it in a reminder set an alarm set an alarm once a day three minutes just gonna think about god and next week when we come back together how do you feel how you feel after a week of setting in your calendar of making time what kind of a relationship do you have when you don't make time for that relationship you don't have a relationship if you don't communicate you're not relationship you don't spend time how can you have a relationship and attach yourself to god if you don't spend time and if you don't communicate that is the homework for next week it's the first code of jewish law it's where it all begins that a person in kishi is boning you have to think you have to reflect and then miyagya and then you will arrive at you can't skip steps you can't not allocate the time you not can't not think in that direction and still expect to feel connected and to attach ourselves to him till next time stay happy stay healthy stay holy a good photo shoots new beginnings it's a fresh start today's the first day of the rest of your life the perfect first day to spend those three minutes perfect first day it's a new month it's a new beginning it's a fresh start perfect day for those three minutes so good and a happy hanukkah nine o'clock tonight we go behind the bema with lori palatnik who is really a revolutionary leader uh nine o'clock tonight and uh see you next week everybody have a fantastic