LIVE Thursday night Call-In Show ☎️

We're live. I'm in a very, very bad mood, JFYI, cuz I spent all day recording video at Soulward Studios and I find out that the audio has buzz in it. And I'm very, very, very, very, very, very just >> You are now unmuted, >> devastated because I spent so much money setting up that studio and we had the buzzing issue a few times. Once when I had the ma the mayor when I had Eric Adams come which was like a lot of pressure because they were only able to be there for like a very tight schedule and you know and then there was buzz whatever we use some software to to remove the buzz but it doesn't sound normal and then other times I I whatever I'm not going to get into the whole thing of it but it's very very upsetting I spent you don't realize how much money you can't even imagine how much money I spent on this this setup on this studio and there's buzz like not every time. That's the thing. It's like sometimes it's fine. Most of the time it's fine. You just never know. You just never know what day which mic is going to have problems and I can't get answers. And I spent crazy money to get it set up. I don't even What's the point? I'm here in my little garage now. My old studio. My old studio is fine. old studio is fine. So then what's the point of the new studio if I don't have 100% consistency of knowing that the audio is clean and then the the the volume's not even normal? Half the time the volume's low and then I'm told, "Oh, the volume is turned down so we don't hear the buzz." Well, then get rid of the buzz. So I'm in a very very very bad mood and I'm having a hard time concealing it. How are you doing? Great. When's our first caller ready? They're on. Okay. So, let's just go to the caller. Caller is probably thrilled to talk to me when I'm in this bad mood. Hi, first caller. What's the first caller's name? >> Hello. >> Yeah. Hi. >> Hi. How's it going? >> My name's Lyall. >> Hi there, Lyall. So, what's what's the what's on your mind? >> Well, um I saw your Instagram reel and it prompted me to write in. I've been getting a lot of comfort from some of your videos recently. So, uh, Fantastic. >> I thought I thought Yeah. Um, well, I'll I'll cut to it. I suppose I'm having issues with my family at the moment. Um, my sister, who I was very close to when I was younger, uh, isn't speaking to me anymore. >> And, uh, that's been happening for about 8 months. And we had a very close bond when we were younger. And it's uh it's been very difficult. >> How old are you now? >> I'm 32 years old. >> Mhm. And she's close to you in age. >> She will be Well, it was her 26th birthday a few weeks ago. >> Mhm. Uhhuh. So about six years apart. >> Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. Um the family unit that we grew up in was um difficult at times and I sort of acted as a secondary career for her >> at certain points um especially when things were strained between my parents. So >> Mhm. I hear I hear. So you were like a more than a big brother. You were in some ways you took a parental role. Are you the oldest boy in the family? >> Yeah, I'm the oldest. Yeah. Um there's uh two boys and then she's the younger sister. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> So you you stepped up. >> Um >> I'm saying when in a home where the parents weren't always available in the ways that >> one might want, you took on a lot of responsibility. for sure. I mean, um I I don't you know, I don't want to overeager it. I don't want it to make up like I'm, you know, the hero of the situation. But felt like that. >> No, it's not I'm It's actually It's I'm not trying to compliment you. I'm just describing a situation and it's a very common situation that if there's >> a lack of parental attention that very often the oldest boy very often >> very typical the the oldest boy sort of step steps up and takes on a lot of responsibility. >> So it's just uh it's just a reality and happens to be your reality at any rate. So your sister she's the only girl >> and you kind of what you were like kind of her protector a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. When we were growing up. >> Yeah. >> Um I think I think she would come to me as a safe person. >> As a safe person. Uh-huh. >> I think that's >> okay. >> Yeah. I think that's >> okay. And now what happened? >> Um I moved away from home. I'm I'm calling from the States right now. I'm I'm from the UK originally. I um yeah I I I moved away from home about 10 years ago and >> okay >> I guess things have been it's been a strain to kind of keep the relationship uh the same as it was when we were younger >> right >> and just after enough excessive times going home there being enough communication faults um you know it just wears on both on both of them I guess and there have been times when I've let my emotions really get the better of me And um she has as well, but you know >> what does that mean to times that you've let your emotions get the better of you? What does that mean? >> I suppose what that means is I've uh I've found myself in situations where I've um raised my voice and and said some hurtful things >> to her >> um to her and my brother. Yeah. >> Yeah. So you moved away about 10 years ago. They stayed. They stayed behind. >> Sure. Yeah, they did. >> And then you've gone to visit and there were some contentious >> moments when you've when when you were visiting. >> Yeah. I suppose what happens is you you go home um and it's usually for a short period of time, >> right? And the there's a lot of things in the chamber maybe that you that in a normal situation you would be able to I I mean you know but it so there's a lot of stuff that's sort of unresolved and and things can get heated quite quickly and that sort of cut in with the fact that our parents divorced and you know we've there's different family dynamics on the table and my my uh my stepmother for example and Um, so yeah, it's just it it um it can be difficult sometimes is what I'm trying to say. I suppose it's uh >> right >> and it's gone especially bad in the last couple of years and as I say it's been about 8 months since we've spoken. I tried to speak to her on her birthday and we basically just agreed that she wasn't ready and that being on the phone with me would be too difficult for her. >> Yeah. Okay. Uh so do you know from her what her I don't want to call it complaint but from her side what's her description of why she feels like it's difficult to to deal with you right now? >> Sure that's fair. Um, I think she's frustrated that she can't confront me without me getting upset and I can I can control myself in the moment, but I think I think, you know, I feel I guess I feel threatened when I'm when I'm confronted with it. And uh, on more than one occasion that's ended not as well as I'd like, you know. Okay. >> So, and and she's told you this. Is are you guessing or she told you this? >> I mean, I've she's told me more or less. Um, we communicate fairly clearly about it over text, you know, but >> Oh. Oh, so she's told you clearly. >> Okay. So, it's not a it's not a mystery. It's not a mystery. No, it's not. It really isn't. >> Okay. So, that but that's good news. It's not like you have to guess what's making her uncomfortable. And and apparently it makes her so uncomfortable that she can't really handle dealing with you right now. >> Yeah. >> That's what it is. >> Basically, I'm going to guess. I mean, you can tell me if this is right or wrong, but she doesn't really know how to relax around you, let her guard down around you because she can't anticipate when you're going to explode. >> You're absolutely right. Yeah. >> Okay. So, she doesn't feel safe around you. >> Yeah. >> And you know why that breaks my heart, Lyall? >> Because because you were her protector. >> Yeah. Yeah. You were the one who ensured her safety and it's like tragic to me that she doesn't feel safe with you right now because you would do anything for her and you you've done so much for her. You don't want to ever make her feel unsafe. [Music] >> Yeah. >> But you're failing to regulate your emotions. >> Yes. >> Where did you learn that? Who showed you that? What model are you imitating when you fail to regulate your emotions? [Applause] >> I think my mom. Um, >> yeah. Um, definitely definitely my mom. >> Tell me about that. >> Oh, it's it's hard, you know. I mean, >> I know it's hard. >> She was prideful. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I This is This is the deepest stuff. This is painful stuff, but let's we we're gonna we're gonna do it because we want to heal. So, let's let's talk about it. Yeah. Your mother was private. >> She could never admit she was wrong. She was never wrong. >> She's never. >> Yes. >> Right. >> She could murder you and you have to apologize. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's a good way of putting >> Yeah. >> Um Yeah. She was very prideful and she couldn't take criticism. Um, >> right. >> You know, I just I'm going to say this now because of this kind kind of a fear somewhat of her. >> You're still afraid >> hearing this. >> You're still afraid of her. >> You're a grown man on the other side of an ocean and you're still afraid. >> Yeah, >> cuz >> Yeah, deep down I am. >> For sure. Cuz when you're a little child and a big adult is scary, that leaves an an impression never goes away. I mean, you know that she can't do anything to you right now, but it doesn't matter because you remember being a child and being helpless. >> Yeah. >> And what did you do? You stood up and you said, "If I can get in between her and my sister to be a buffer, then I'm going to do that." Did Did you Is that right? >> Did you make it a little easier for your sister? >> I think I did. Yeah, I think I did. Um an awful lot. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Right. >> She did until until >> until until >> Yeah. She did until well but she did until um my parents divorced and that was around the time that I left. And she was alone with my dad for a number of years. And um I think that had an effect on her as well. I know it did. was >> and I think that put an additional strength, >> you know. >> Well, that's not your fault. The fact that you had to move on and you you left. I mean, I'm sure you have guilt about it that you wish you could have continued to be the buffer, >> but that's not your fault. >> Yeah. >> That you had to move on and have your own life. >> And I don't even think your sister faults you for that in all of her complaints to you. I don't think is she saying to you, "Why did you leave and leave me to deal with our father on my own?" I don't think does she complain about that? >> No, but sometimes you feel like I'm waiting for anything. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Sometimes I feel like I'm I'm worried that it's that that's what she's going to say. >> No, no, no, no, no. It has nothing to do with it. You're you're faulting your yourself for something that's not your fault, but you're failing to take responsibility for something that is your fault. So, let's let's separate these two things. Your sister does not fault you for having a life and for growing up and moving even though you feel guilty that you wanted to be there to continue to absorb the dysfunction for her. You feel guilty, but she she doesn't fault you for that. But there's something she does fault you for. And you know what it is? >> Yeah. >> For acting like your mother to her. >> Yeah. >> The rage. The prideful rage that you absorbed from your mother. and that you're still afraid of absorbing from her. You took it and you put it on your sister who you wanted to protect. And now, just like you had to physically move away the whole ocean to get yourself safe, your sister is trying to make herself feel safe and she's not taking your call. Yeah, >> I'm gonna we're going to do this super fast, okay? Like I like to work fast. >> Okay. So, everything I mean, if I'm saying anything incorrect, I want you to tell me. I want you to call me out and say, "Rabbi, that doesn't really apply." Okay? If it doesn't apply, tell me it doesn't apply. It all applies so far. Okay, good. So, here's here's how I'm going to hack this whole thing to come up with a really simple answer. I'm going to ask you a question. This is a painful question because it's really a fantasy that'll probably never come true, >> but what could your mother do? >> Okay, what could she do? I know she'll never do it unless there's a miracle, but what could she do that would make you feel safe around her again or for the first time? What could she do now? [Music] >> Um, be able to get through a conversation where I express how I feel without taking it personally. >> Say it again. and say it. Say it again. >> Being able Sorry. Being being able to get through a conversation with me without being able to take it personally what I say. >> Say it one more time. >> Being able to get through a conversation with me without being offended by what I'm saying about her. >> Okay. Now, I'm going to ask you a new question. >> I'm gonna ask you a new question. >> What could you do? >> Yeah. >> To make your sister feel safe around you again? Um, >> yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Say it. >> Uh, say it. >> It's expressing to her that I'm not getting offended by what she has to say if we talk about the last 10 years or our lives. >> So, you know the answer already cuz it's the thing that your mother will never do for you. But you have enough self-awareness and self-control. You could do this for your sister. >> Yeah. Now, the hard part is going to be to convince her that you're going to be able to get through it because she may not, you know, what do they say? Fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me twice, shame on me. She might not want to be a fool. Like, I don't know. I trusted him so many times and got burnt. I don't want to get burnt again. So, the hard part might be to convince her. And you know, I I think there may be ways of getting her a message and saying, you know, I really reflected upon this and I realized I'm I totally did everything you said that I did and I realize now it's the same thing that our mother did to me and I don't feel safe around her and and now I completely understand why you don't feel safe around me. >> Be that blunt about it. >> Totally. Yeah. Who has time not to be blunt? You tell her I've been living in America and became blunt. [Laughter] >> Okay, I'll start with that. >> That's good advice. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Um Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I um I I I I think I'm going to wait a while before I do, but I think that that >> Yeah, it's not an emergency place to start. >> It's not urgent. You know, you do >> Yeah. >> You do it when you feel that you're in a good space where you can say it and really mean it. And then of course you know that you have to back it up because if you make a promise like that and she believes you and then you don't follow through, >> then you're in worse shape than you were already. If someone doesn't trust you and you convince them to give you a second chance >> and then they get burnt from trusting you from the second chance, that's it. You know, you'll never get a third chance. >> Yeah. I sometimes get worried that I burnt through all my chances and then [Applause] >> I mean >> but I think it's a little bit different because you can come to her with the self-awareness and say I totally just realized that this is the reason why I'm not safer on our mother is because she can't get she cannot get through a conversation where anyone even implies anything less than perfection on her part and she loses her cool and that's why I don't feel safe around her and realize I'm literally doing the exact same thing and it's not okay. I don't want to be that person. First of all, I don't want to be I don't You tell her I spent my whole youth trying to be your protector. So, it breaks my heart that I've failed at that. But I don't want to I don't want to be this person. Even for myself, I don't want to be this person. Um, I want to break this cycle of being hyper sensitive to any perceived crit criticism. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And you're going to have to be ready. You're going to have to sit through it and she's going to tell you, "You did this and you did this and you did this and it's going to really burn. It's going to burn and you're going to be like, "Well, can I answer? Can I say something in my defense?" But you're not going to do that. You're going to be like, "Okay, you're right. I can hear this. I can hear it. I can hear it. And I don't have to deflect. I don't have to defend it. I can just hear it. I don't even have to give a passive aggressive apology like, "Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way." Which is the right the non-apology apology. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> you just absorb it and you're like, >> I hear it. I hear it. Thank you. Thank you for Thank you for trusting me with your honesty. >> That's a great line. But you have to mean it. Like, thank you for trusting me with your honesty. Thank you. >> Thank you for trusting me with your honesty. >> Yeah. Try that one out. >> It's a great line. I mean, if you mean it, it's a great line. >> Yeah. >> I think it's going to be okay. >> Thanks. Yeah. Nice to hear. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for talking. >> Thank you for your advice. >> Yeah. All right. >> Yeah. Yeah. It was really nice. >> All right. >> Thank you very much. >> Yeah. Be well. Okay. >> Have a good night. >> All right. >> All right. Wonderful caller. Wonderful caller. Think he sounds like a good guy. Fine. Upstanding young gentleman. And I hope that works out for him. I don't think it'll be overly difficult for him. with God's help. Obviously, always with God's help. Okay. Um, is there another caller on the line? Oh, wow. So, we have a little bit of time. Okay. So, uh, I'm going to check the chat. Just see how the chat's going. Someone says, "Shalom. What's the email to ask a question?" The email is not to ask a question. The email is to tell me what question you'd like to ask. Basically, it's a vetting process to make sure you're not a troll. The email is infossalwords.org/ No, no slash. Just [email protected]. Sorry. [email protected]. [email protected]. And um you just write us a one or twoline sentence um one or two sentence quick little short little email and basically say here's what I want to talk about. And um yeah, that's it. Are you allowed to call in with questions about Judaism and learning about the Jewish faith or is it only question pertaining to life advice? I prefer questions that are actually pertinent to you. It could be like a question about Judaism, but it has to be something that's applicable to you personally. It can't just be like something that you could Google. You understand what I'm saying? It can't be like a chat GPT question. It has to be something that's real to you. Hi, I've been so busy I haven't been watching. Okay, now you're here though. Now you are watching. Oh man, so sorry you had the buzzing issue by recording. That is really stressful. Thank you for your um sympathy. I appreciate that. Okay, from this I must appreciate Slack Lonu. No matter how many times God gets burned by me, he still gives me another chance. That's a great insight. Thank you for that, Yity. I hope this comment is appropriate. Yeah, it's very appropriate. It's great. Okay. Do you say our next caller is waiting? Okay. Who's our next caller? >> Okay. Dana. Dana. Hi. >> Hi. Hi, Rabbi. How are you? >> Thank God I'm okay. I'm alive. You know, that's the important thing. How are you doing? >> Same. Same. Thank God. >> Okay. Thank God. Okay. So, what do you want to talk about? >> Sunny Florida. >> You're >> No, I think I'm calling from sunny South Florida. >> Sunny South Florida. Okay. Excellent. We cool day today in New York, by the way. It was like in the 60s today. >> Yeah. >> Oh, that is nice. Now, here is uh still summer. >> Yeah, it's well summer all year long in Florida. Okay. So, what's up? What what do you want? What do you want to talk about? >> So, I have like a two-part question. >> Okay. >> Um and it is very uh applicable to my like >> okay >> current scenario between two jobs. >> Okay. So I wanted to know that when we ask God for help, advice and guidance, >> yes. >> Is it possible that we do see physical signs of like the answer to our question? >> Yes. >> Okay, >> that's the simple answer. >> If we do >> So was that the first part? That was the first cuz you said two-part question. Okay. So the first the By the way, if if I had answered the first question no, then the second question would not even be applicable. >> Correct. >> Okay. But I said yes. >> But I figured Yes. >> You knew you you predicted. You predicted I would say yes. Yes. Okay. So now the follow-up question. Yeah. The follow-up question is that I imagine and am taught that God always has our best interests and wants what's good for us and everything that >> you know happens to us is for the good. >> Yes. It's so true. And you know what the problem is? >> That that is not consistent with what I think is good for me and it causes me pain. >> He always Yeah. But but we're assuming we're assuming that the big picture that God has for us is >> is positive. >> It's all good. >> It's important for whatever >> but it doesn't mean that it's going to feel good. >> Right. Right. But so my question is if if I know that God is doing what's good for me even if it doesn't feel good and that means that if God's given me a sign uh that I asked for you know to guide me in the direction >> it would it would be obvious that I should take the direction of the sign >> but then how does that go along with free will because now it would it wouldn't make sense for me not to the sign but now kind of I lost my free will. >> Okay, let me just say this back to you. This is this is a cool question. So the first question was does could God show us signs? And and the answer is of course he could you know doesn't mean that he will and doesn't mean that it'll happen in the way that you want it to but he could definitely not can he does at times show us very clear signs. Okay. Then your followup was all right. Well, now I think I've seen a clear sign. If we are also saying it's axiomatic that God always has our best interest in in mind. So then it's clear I should follow that sign. Um >> you didn't even ask that as a question. You just said that. You didn't even ask is it clear that I should follow that sign. You were like no it's I should follow that sign. There's no question I should follow that sign. But now what's with free will? Okay. So it's a very interesting question. I my question would be would have the question that you glossed over and didn't ask is the question that I would have asked. >> Uhhuh. >> It's funny how everyone's so different. The I I would have asked am I allowed to rely on the fact that the sign that God is showing me isn't a misdirect? How do I know he's not like showing me something that's not going to be so true? >> Yeah. That's true. >> But you have so much faith. You're like, "No, if he showed me a sign, for sure that's the right way." >> Okay. So, I'm I'm not going to >> Yes. And I And I did stick over that. Like, I have a lot of And I really try to take what I see as like simple like Yes, that's where I should. >> Yes. I love it. Simple faith. No, no, you're right. You're totally right. Simple faith. >> Now, your question is, well, what's with free will? But I can answer that pretty simply. Okay. >> Okay. You're calling me and you're asking me about this because obviously you're conflicted and you need to make a choice. >> Mhm. >> Well, to me, there's no clearer demonstration of the fact that you are still engaging your free will than than than this conversation we're having. Meaning, if it were so obvious, you would have done it already, but you didn't do it yet because you want to make sure it's the right move >> and you want to process it. You want to talk it over with something. >> So, it's clear that you're not being compelled >> the fact that we're even having this conversation. >> You're right. You're right. You're right. But I'm also not like I a modernday uh Jewish person like let's say let's say we go to like the sadi came from behame mikdash time like how was their free and and they had >> they they didn't ask the question they just followed the path and signed >> so you're saying how did they have free will >> like >> you're right let's say that let's say that >> yeah there's an answer to that though but now we're now we're drifting away from personal questions we're going into the theoretical questions which I don't I I don't mind. I I'll I'll allow it for a moment. And the answer is because I think I'm going to be able to bring it back to the personal in a second. The answer is you asked a great question and use some Hebrew words which I'm going to translate for our crowd here. You said, "What about the, you know, super righteous people who lived in the times when the holy temple in Jerusalem stood and there were overt miracles and all that stuff and you know, how do they have free will when everything was so obvious? How did they have free will?" And the answer, I think you probably know this. I'm going to say it and you'll be like, "Oh, yeah, that's right. Duh." Uh, is that they had negative stuff that was a lot more powerful in those days as well to offset it, to counterbalance it, to make it an even playing field. You know, you read you read the stories of people in the times of the of the of the temple in Jerusalem when they had prophets and they had miracles and people were still attracted to to idol worship. It's crazy. What how could how could they even think for a moment to stray? And the answer is that >> when you're given a greater revelation of of godliness also in order to maintain free will. So then the other side is given more power to make itself appear viable. So uh >> I got it. >> Yeah. But let's bring this back. Let's bring this back to your life. So you you got a clear sign. >> Very very clear. >> I can be more specific. It's basically two I'm have I have a current job um that has its bene you know advantage advantages disadvantages. Um and then I there was a a a moment where you know I wasn't happy. So I was applying to other positions. same same type of job but different uh position and something came about that was very same job but very different. So, one is like private uh uh like a private uh type of job and the other one is like a nonprofit. Same work. Um but one would be both of them. Again, both of them have very different advantages, disadvantages. Um and I'm torn between leaving what I'm comfortable in and going to this and the new one. You know, I I talked to God a lot and I I said, "Give me some kind of guidance in where I should go." And I kid you not, I I drive the same routes every day. And the last like week I see three separate one is a billboard, one is um uh a bench, one of those benches that have an ad on it and one was an act an actual like pharmacy of this uh company and the the exact company that I and and the the picture of the woman who I interviewed with was on the billboards. >> Oh. >> Was of the new job. >> Mhm. after I asked for help. I had It couldn't be more clear. >> Yeah, that's pretty clear. >> That's pretty clear. >> And and each and each and they didn't happen in the same day, you know, like one day I would see and then I'd be like, "Oh, that's crazy." And then the next day I'd be like, you know, "Are you sure, God? That's where I should go." And then and then I'd get another one. It was just It seems like how could I not go with that that sign? But then again, but then I was like, well then if if all my life I'm kind of chasing after these like past I I no longer in my own individual self, I just follow these. >> You know what I mean? >> Mhm. >> I feel like you can go crazy with that. >> You could. [Laughter] >> Yeah. Not that I not that I you know see that for every little thing, but this particular scenario I definitely had like uh an obvious I don't know communication >> of some sort. >> Hashem is constantly communicating with us. Every single thing that we see is communication from Hashem. But it's not always so easy to decode it. So, you know, when when the message is pretty obvious, that's that's a special thing. It doesn't mean that Hashem is more involved in your life at those times than at other times. Hashem is always involved in our life, but it's a special thing when we could see it. We see the the hand of Hashem. Great. >> Yeah. So that's uh that should instill gratitude. >> Yeah. >> And the question is how to express that gratitude. >> Sure. >> How do how would you express it? >> That's a good question. I don't know. Let's can we you want to talk about it and figure out an appropriate way to express your gratitude for Hashem's open communication? Sure. >> Okay. What do you think you could do? >> I don't know. I always think of like So, we're pretty much like I call us like modern Orthodox family. >> Okay. >> Um, sorry, hold on. So, we do like uh we do our best, you know, like we we keep I mean we keep some of them. We don't do everything like I'm sure I can I'm sure there's many I can add to uh to our routines. Um, but I don't know specific for like I don't know. I always think of ways to like add a prayer or um like something extra that we do on Shabbat. We invite, you know, people over to our house. I I don't know what else uh >> Well, let me ask you this. >> What specific? If >> you know, if you feel like this sign that you got gave you, >> I guess what did it give you? It it gave you it gave you peace of mind. I don't know. Tell me. It saved your time from having to deliberate about this. >> Well, it helped me make a decision. >> Help me make a decision. Okay. Okay. So, it gave you the ability to >> A hard one because because I I did like I do I have, you know, I have a hard time. I'm not somebody who switches between jobs. I I kind of stay >> solid. So, it it's not easy for me to tell the current employer that I'm leaving. >> Okay. But it but the fact that you have this sign makes it a little bit easier, >> right? >> Mhm. So basically the gift that you were given is the gift of certainty, >> right? >> Confidence, >> being at peace with your with your decision. You're going to have to make a decision one way or another either way. But having this sign gave you peace of mind, >> right? So to me the way to show gratitude >> it also might it also might it also might have other benefits that I don't know yet you know I'm sure it would >> for I'm sure it does but we you know we can only talk about what we know. >> Yeah. So, what we know so far, >> what we know right now is it would give me um uh more confidence, I guess, to to leave one comfortable uh job and go to another one that's also probably going to be comfortable, but still new. And it will give me um more of a like it would it would also provide me with like more of a stable salary and uh workday. >> Oh, that's another benefit. I didn't know about that. So the salary is more stable. What does it mean more stable? You actually get paid on time. >> So no. So one the first job is commissionbased. Ah, >> and it it it even it probably cuz it probably evens out to the same, but one is unstable, meaning one month it could be good, one month it could be bad, and then the second one is it's a set salary, so every paycheck is the same. >> So I I know what it's going to be. >> Yeah. Stability, >> right? Mhm. >> Which which was which was the reason I was looking for the job in the first place was I wasn't happy with that. >> Never really knowing >> questionable. >> Right. >> Right. And also the first one the first job I um I have to do more because it's commission based. It's I mean I don't mind telling you but basically I'm a dentist and I the first job is a private practice. So it's really unfortunate how medicine and dentistry kind of became where you have to sell the treatment. >> Mhm. >> Um hold on sorry my phone was >> right >> disconnecting. So basically instead of just focusing on healing, you had to also be uh >> you had to be a salesman which I'm >> right which is not my strong suit at all >> and I hated that part of it. >> Um and the second job is a nonprofit organization that provides services to a certain group of like a certain community and it's funded by um it's grants that fund it. So the patients come in and it's >> right >> it's free for them. So I get a set salary. I don't have to sell anything. I come in. It's very it's it's a very different >> it's a very different uh vibe, you know, like I just have to come in and tell them what they need and >> uh the patient doesn't have to pay so they don't have to worry. >> Um and I don't have to I also don't have to have that heartache because it's not my office. I can't help like the current office I'm in. They don't they don't allow I they they really don't let me do any kind of free dentistry. If I want to help somebody, I I pay for like I pay for them. >> Someone's got to pay for it. Yeah. >> So, >> and you do that now, by the way. Sometimes you feel bad and you just take care of it for them and you pay it out of pocket all the time. >> All the time. >> So, you know, right now your your salary fluctuates. You don't have predictability there and you're paying out of pocket to do work for people when you think that they really need it and they can't afford it. So maybe when you're going to this new position where your salary will be predictable, one of the things you can do to show gratitude is set up your tucka your charitable giving in a in a systemized way. Meaning, since you know how much is coming in, you can just set up something that's like a recurring donation to a to a cause that you believe in. And especially because you're not going to be paying out of pocket anymore to cover people's bills that they can't afford. >> So that would free up also some money to do that with, >> right? I do I totally agree. I can do that. I us we do I still give Taka even with >> Right. I'm sure you do >> doing that. But but I but I could do something more like automatic. >> Yeah, >> definitely. I could do >> something. You could set up something that's recurring. >> Good idea. >> And and and you could breathe easy and just know that you don't have to go check your bank balance to make sure that it's covered because you you know how much you're making. >> Great. It's a good idea. I think it'll be like a an appropriate response of gratitude. That's what I think. >> Yeah, I like it. I usually I usually I usually do this also for Teddaka where I same thing where I'll say you know let me find a organization that um specific for that paycheck that like pulls at my heartstrings and then I'll randomly come across one you know like where where somebody's talking about it and then that's it's it's it I'm telling you I get these like little signs where >> Oh okay. So get ready. I'm sure that it'll present itself. That's fantastic. >> I do that a lot for for Teddaka, but I could do also a recurring one. That's that's makes it even easier. >> Yeah. And and it's fitting your new situation where you'll have a reliable paycheck. >> Mhm. >> Like instead of giving more or less based on how much you bring in this, you just set this up. It's the same every time. You just let it run. Yeah. >> I mean, if you want to be really proactive, like the extra special touch, the cherry on top would be that it's not even automatic. You do it manual, but you commit to the same amount. So, you know, I mean, this takes discipline. >> Yeah. >> But like you make a thing >> that I don't know, every Friday before you light Shabas candles, you know, you're putting a certain amount of money in your It's a duck a box. You're just committing that you're doing that amount and then it becomes a regimen. Has that advantage of being routine but it also requires some >> Yeah. a little effort. >> Yeah. A little effort. >> Yeah. I like that. I actually like that better. >> Yeah. >> I like think about it time. >> Yeah. >> Sounds like good stuff. >> Is it true? Is it true? >> Yeah. Is it true that it it it's supposed to be 10% of the income? >> That is advisable. Yeah. Micer is 10% of your uh now there's different ways of calculating that you know like if you have a business let's say you have your gross income but a lot of that is not real income. It's not net income because you're spending it on expenses. So then there's a question how you calculate your income. Now, the most lenient view would be it's only your savings. Um, other views would say it's no, it's uh if you're not a business owner, then it's it's your whole salary. Um, others would say it's after taxes. Some would say it's before taxes. In things like this, I say ask your LOI, your local Orthodox rabbi. I guess the more I mean you can't go wrong if you overdo a little. So it's you know I try to I try to stick to the 10% or whatever. >> That's incredible. That's great. That's great. Yeah. They say uh don't go over 20%. But then other places says you could even go over the 20%. You could give even more than 20% if you have a a reason why you want to do it. But yeah, the maximum generally advisable is to donate a fifth. >> Yeah, that's great. >> Listen, nobody ever went poor from giving charity. So >> it's a good thing. It's a good thing. >> It's a good thing. Definitely a good thing. >> What you want to give us any >> I always thought >> what >> you always what? Tell me. >> No, no, I'm listening. >> No, I want to hear what you're going to say. Oh, no. I was uh um that I uh now I forgot. Um I don't remember. >> All right. So, I'll say my thing. >> I forgot what I was going to >> do. You want to give our community here some uh any dental advice? >> Sure. >> Um well, okay. Well, the obvious that we tell the kids. >> Yeah. >> Is why we definitely need a brush. Morning and night. >> Morning and night. >> Most people >> morning and night. >> Uh morning most people do because they, you know, feel yucky from the night, >> right? >> But night, I have a lot of people skip it. Um and they think it's okay. Uh but or or they'll do it early and then eat again. Um, but at night, what nobody realizes or kind of pays attention to is that you have a real reduction in saliva while you're sleeping. And your saliva is like your mechanical kind of washing of the mouth. It it neutralizes the acid and it also like flows and takes debris out. So when the saliva is really reduced, you have a high buildup of the bacteria. like they start reproducing like crazy in on in the mouth. And the way we can you're still going to have that even after you brush, you know, and you fall asleep. But if you didn't brush and you spent your whole day, you know, snacking and eating and then you went to sleep and now you have food stuck in your teeth and you you might not see it, but it's there. um the bacteria that's in there, they're going to reproduce and they use all that food and all that debris that's up there, they use it as their fuel and they release an acid and way more prone to cavity. >> That's terrible. >> Yeah. >> So those nighttime, >> the crest commercials with the cavity creeps was accurate. >> It was. It was. You You're more It's honestly more important to do it at night than in the morning. And if you're going to snack again, >> you eat again. You brush again. >> So the nighttime brushing is actually more important and it's the less common that as far as what people are careful about. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you get tired. You just you don't want to do it. You just want to go to sleep. But >> Right. >> You got to And we say two minutes. We say two minutes. I would >> You know what? I have nobody. I have an electric toothbrush and it pulsates after 30 seconds and then it pulsates double after 2 minutes. So I do do each quadrant for 30 seconds and then when I cover all four quadrants then it does a double pulsation. >> You're a rarity because most people do not do not do the full two minutes. >> Yeah. >> I'll take I'll take a I'll take a minute. If somebody would actually do it for a minute, I'm happy. Mhm. >> And flossing obviously is uh important, but um I I try to like be realistic with what my patients are >> are going to do. So, if I know they're for sure not going to floss, um I beg them to get a water pick. >> Uh those are great. >> You know what I do? They >> I don't have a water pick, >> but I have good uh pressure in my in my shower. I I just let it shoot into my mouth and that's my water pick. Does that count? >> You would love You would love the water pick. It You can There's a cordless one. You take it in the shower >> cuz it gets all over. >> Um if it's perfect for that. You leave it in your shower. You fill up the little canister cuz it it it has a little spout that gets exactly in between. Like you you you shoot it like around the tooth and then you you pause in between each tooth. >> It's like pressure washing teeth. >> Okay. I'm going to get the I'm going to get I'm going to go on uh Amazon after the show and I'm going to get the water pick. Do you want to recommend a water pick? >> I I like the cordless. So the brand So there are different brands. The actual is Waterpick. >> It's called Waterpick brand. >> I I like Yes. with a K ck. >> Yeah. >> Water pick. >> No, no, no C. >> No C. P I K. >> P I K. >> Water pick cordless. >> They do have all kinds of fancy ones that >> can go on your counter. A lot of people don't have room. >> So, Waterpick brand. It's called Water Flosser. >> Cordless Pulse. Cordless Pulse. Um, precision pulse technology removes up to 99.9% of plaque bacteria and it's $49.99. Is that an okay price? >> Yep. >> Yeah. Okay. >> It's It's the only uh issue. It's not really an issue, but the only thing with the cordless one is the the water canister is um smaller, so you have to fill it a few times, but it's not a big deal. I just added it to my cart and I'm not getting the protection cuz uh I think that's a scam. >> No. >> So, no. And it's in my cart now. >> You don't need >> Yeah. >> Nice. >> Very cool. >> You'll love it. >> Yeah. >> Especially if you're already using the shower. >> Yeah. Um so you just to repeat, you want to brush your teeth in the morning and before bed. And the way to remember that is >> if you eat again >> if you eat again then brush again. And the way to remember this is >> you could start you could use that if you want. Could tell people that. >> Yeah. Okay. >> Yeah. >> I tell my Jewish patients. >> Yeah. No, you could tell non-Jewish patients too. You say it says in the Bible when you lie down and when you rise up. And it says when you lie down first meaning it that's a good v I have for you that it says this is also by the way the nighttime schma is the first first Mishna in the whole Mishna is about when you say the nighttime schma nighttime because the world was created first night and then evening. So the nighttime schma is actually the first schma and the morning schma is the second schma. Also when a bar mitzvah boy becomes a bar mitzvah. So his first mitzvah is the harvest, the nighttime schma. So this is a good vert. You're saying you have to brush your teeth twice a day, morning and night. But of the two, the most important one is the nighttime one, which people often forget, but really that's the one that should come first. >> Yes. They're both important. I wouldn't say >> You told me that it's more important. You said I'm going to say it back to you. You said it really more important. The nighttime one is more important. >> If if I had to give it like more important like maybe by like less than 10% more important. >> Okay. But I'm not worried about the morning one because I think people will like you said I think people naturally will do the morning one because they'll feel compelled to do it. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Maybe that that might be the only reason for the little bit of less importance is that people are already doing it. >> Yeah. And what do you feel about mouthwash? Some people are for it, some are against it. >> I find it to be gravy, meaning like extra. >> Mhm. >> Not absolutely necessary. Um, it has fluoride. I mean, there are people against fluoride. I am >> not. >> Where do you come down to the fluoride debate? Do you think that the government puts it in our water to use mind control on us? >> No. I think it's the best thing to ever happen to our waters. >> Okay. >> Because I see >> there's a lot of conspiracy theories about the fluoride. >> Surely you're aware that there are conspiracy theories about the fluoride. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh I So most people aren't downing large quantities of fluoride. Like especially I have I have a lot of patients that don't don't want it in their toothpaste, >> right? >> It's it's a disadvantage. I feel horrible for the kids that that their parents do this because they're full of cavities. Oh, and it's it's the nature of baby teeth also that they're really really uh small amounts of enamel and the the pulp which is like where the nerve is is very large. So, when a baby tooth gets like even a small cavity, it hurts. >> It's big before it's >> it says it's big before you even like had a chance to >> detect it. So fluoride what it does is it incorporates itself into the actual structure of the enamel. >> So enamel has it has its chemical makeup and fluoride you can't ever regrow enamel because the cells that form it >> that's why I heard that if you throw up you should never brush your teeth for at least an hour after you throw up. >> Do you agree with that? >> That's the acid. Yes. That's because it destroys the like is makes this >> it's because all the acidity. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> The same reason why you kind of don't brush right after you eat. >> Yeah. It's the same for eating. You eat and then you don't you don't brush right away. You can rinse but don't like scrub. >> The toothpaste is abrasive. >> And what do you say about hydrogen peroxide? What about gargling hydrogen peroxide? Well, that's more I I find hydrogen peroxide is kind of it's it's a whitening measure. So, all whitening strips and over the counter or professional, they're all made of either hydrogen or or carbonide peroxide. Um, it's just for whitening. >> Doesn't do anything extra. >> I had a guy tell me that he doesn't brush his teeth. He just swishes hydrogen peroxide. >> Yeah, I have many patients that tell me that. Um, not in there's nothing. There's nothing in replace. There's nothing to replace your toothbrush and floss. It's the cheapest way to stay out of the dental office. >> Mhm. Okay. So, you're saying >> really cheapest way. >> Swishing uh hydrogen peroxide is no substitute for real brushing. >> No. Anything mouthwash related is um is gravy. It's crazy. I use the Thera Breath stuff that has no alcohol in it. >> The Thera Breath. I don't use like the Listerine, which is like, you know, >> all alcohol. >> Yeah. I don't I don't like I don't like anything with alcohol because it dries the mouth, >> which like I said, >> bacteria. Yeah. >> Um so I >> Yeah. So I don't I don't like uh alcoholic um mouth rinses. Um there is one that's prescription that we sometimes give for gum disease called Kerodex. >> Yeah. But that's that's because of a disease you Yeah. >> Yeah. We give it sometimes. It's it's an antiseptic. Um it's not like that's that one's a little bit different, but like let's say you have gum disease, we sometimes give that mouth mouthwash. >> Not in place of brushing and flossing, >> right? >> It's the same. Uh it's always it's always added to it. And you should, if you are going to rinse with something, you um do it at the end because there's usually fluoride in the rinses. And if you want it to get in between the teeth, you want to get the stuff out first. >> What is the most dangerous food for your teeth? >> Can I tell you an experience that I had? >> Can I tell you my personal experience? I was eating corn nuts in the airport. >> You know corn nuts? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And it has an U. It's one of the few kosher items in the airport lobby um bookstore. And I was eating corn nuts and I cracked the filling. >> Ah, >> cracked the whole filling. >> I would still say Yeah. I Was it a silver old silver one? an old silver felling. I mean, they're not silver. They're silver color. What were they made out of? Mercury, right? >> Mercury. They No, they were It was a combo. More than one thing, but it had some mercury. >> Yeah. Ag So, that wasn't that wasn't only the corn nut's fault. The mercury, the old mercury ones, they brittle with age. They last they last like 60 plus years and then eventually you eat you could have eaten something soft and it would have also cracked. >> Yeah. Well, you know what happened? the the filling cracked out and I and I sp I well it was like during COVID so it was like very hard to get appointments and I was in I was actually enjoying all the isolation and so I didn't go to the dentist for a few months and by the time um I got around to it the whole uh the whole thing was infected. I had to have it pulled out. They pulled it. I had to pull it. >> It happens. >> Yeah. Well, it happened to me four times. I've had four teeth pulled. >> Can you believe I haven't had I have not have had had a cavity since I was 20, >> but I've had Oh, and I'm not even counting my wisdom teeth. I had my wisdom teeth pulled, but I All my back mers were pulled. Cuz the >> no cavities that means the fluoride's working. >> Yeah. The fluoride >> fluoride and the water is working. >> Yeah. So, we got to be thankful for that. Or maybe the mind control that they're doing is making you think that the fluoride is working. >> That's the mind control is working. >> It's definitely working. >> Definitely working. Okay. >> I I do my own little research on it when I see the the non- fluoride users versus the fluoride users. It's you're obviously in large quantities. Like if you're downing toothpaste bottles for some reason, it's toxic. But you're not supposed to eat it. It's you brush, you spit it out, you rinsed. >> Yeah. >> And and the little bit that's in the water is is I mean, most people have filters, but if you if you are drinking tap water, the amount of it you're drinking is it can't be it's also can't be that high quantity. I could talk about dentistry all night. >> It is a fun subject. I love dentistry. What I don't like is the line. Oh, we don't. There's no other callers. So, there no pressure. Why did they leave? Because I was talking about >> there's only two callers. Oh, okay. So, we have no there's no other callers. So, um, I'm going to ask you a question about >> teeth. >> Go for it. >> You saw. Do you have any teeth questions? No. You don't. >> Your baby teeth didn't come in. >> Oh, what are your baby's teeth? My son wants to know about his son, my grandson. When are his teeth going to come in? He didn't get a tooth yet. >> How old is it? >> Six months. Six months. >> They're they're any month. This month, next month. >> This month or next month. Come. It's happening. >> There's usually usually it goes usually the kids start by normal normal. No, there is no but >> the average baby gets them around starts getting them around the two bottom ones at six months. >> Mhm. Um, but it it could be different. I had I have four kids and three of them got them at six, seven months and one didn't get a single tooth pill. I think she was 14 months. >> It's really weird. >> That's weird. >> Yeah. >> But she's fine now. She's got all her teeth now. >> Yeah. >> So, it's not a problem. >> She's now seven, >> so permanent ones. >> No. So if they don't show up at the time that the textbooks say, you don't get nervous. >> And what do you feel about giving the baby a teething when babies are teething? What do you think about giving them a little whiskey on the gums? Um, that doesn't I always just kind of I always just put like the pacifier in the freezer >> and or or like a wet a wet >> So, you like the frozen pacifier method over the whiskey? >> Yes. Yeah. Maybe a little wine. I don't know about whiskey. Little uh manise. I would go for that one first. >> Mhm. But yeah, they I I don't know. I never see kids complain too much. They Everybody always makes a big deal about the baby's teething, but they at least from the four I have. Maybe they're a little more crinky, but they're all right. They'll they'll handle it. >> Um what else? What are what is the most surprising? >> Oh, I will say about one more thing about fluoride. Yeah, >> you it's better not I will say the one time I I don't use it uh I I don't use it really until they're like two >> don't use fluoride till >> like so there's a baby so and the main reason is because they don't spit it out they they swallow it so like there's a toothpaste a lot of them for infants and it's >> fluoride free is the most surprising dental information Fact. Fun fact. Most surprising dental fun fact. >> Fun fact. >> What's the craziest thing about the human >> Okay. >> Teeth? >> I mean, not that exciting, but um the most com So, there's common missing teeth. uh you know like a kind of percentage of how often a tooth should be missing just congenitally. Um so the first one the most common is wisdom teeth which nobody cares about because they're in the back but the second most common one is the laterals which are the two next to your two top front teeth. >> Hold on a second. Those are called laterals. >> Uhhuh. They're lateral to the central which are your two front teeth. >> What are the canines? >> Those are those are next to it. Those are the ones. >> Oh, so you have the two front teeth. >> The side of those >> which are called the front teeth. Is front teeth the actual term for it? Front teeth. >> It's no central incizers. >> Central incizers. >> And you have top and bottom ones. >> Okay, hold on a second. Hold on. I'm trying to learn over here. So you have the top and bottom central insizers. Correct. Then if you go one out >> then don't tell me don't tell me you have you just just taught it to me right next to it. Lateral you have the lateral. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Lateral incizers. Right. >> Lateral insizers. Okay. Lateral incizer. Then is the K9 teeth. It's called K9. The pointy one. >> That's the one the vampires have a long one. Mhm. >> You ever treated a vampire? >> No, but I've had patients want weird things to their canines. >> Oh, who asked >> like pointy ear or >> really >> or gems? >> Did you do that? Did you sharpen somebody's canines? >> No, I usually see that's where I'm not a great salesman. I'm like, you don't need that, >> right? >> You're good. >> Okay. What about gold >> fronts? >> What about like you ever have like people who want gold fronts? They want >> I've taken I've taken off more than I I maybe done like one. >> Mhm. >> Um gold actually was a great material for crowns. Um because it's soft. So when you when you bite it, it had the ability to kind of bend a little into the >> Yeah. >> So now we don't use it because it's two reasons. It's gold and expensive and um it's usually not solid gold, but even so, you have to pay for the weight of the gold and then it's um nobody wants to see it. But the material we use now is zirconia, which is very hard. It's tooth colored. It's beautiful. Um but it's made of a solid piece of like ceramic. >> Yeah. >> So, it can actually break an opposing tooth like over time. It can wear it or even Oh my gosh. >> It's not necessarily going to break it, but >> it it's actually the the the standard now. We use zirconia. You just have to if you ever saw somebody with like all front like from their canine to K9. And if you see it uh native zirconia and the bottom is nothing. The bottom is natural. Over about 10 years, you'll see the bottom all worn because the the zirconia would eventually wear all that enamel. >> Oh my gosh. What's the bicusp? >> So gold is a great product. >> Bicuspid behind the canine. You have two of that. You have two. >> I'm not a shark. >> I don't have teeth behind my teeth. >> Sharks have rows of teeth. I don't >> Oh, you don't mean behind. You mean next to? >> Yeah. >> Okay. So, have my >> I'm going back. >> I have my central How do you differentiate between the two central insizers? >> So, to make it more confusing, every tooth has a number. >> Okay. So you have to so like if you and there's multiple numbering systems but the one we use in the United States or at least in Florida and well most mostly the United States just orthodontists like to do something weird but general dentists in the United States use a number system where we count starting with the upper right which would be the wisdom tooth all the way in the back upper right would be tooth number one. Oh, so then the central ones are not one and two. >> There is a number system where those are >> but if you start counting from the back >> then your central insizers are going to be like 8 n >> 8 n >> 8 n 8 n that's your right central incizer. >> Okay. So the eight and nine and then hold on >> the >> and then when you get >> lateral >> does it start from the top or the bottom? >> You start from the upper right top >> eight and nine are the two central the top central incizers. Okay. So then you have the lateral that's the ter that's the term lateral >> or lateral incizer. Lateral incizer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You could say lateral. >> Lateral. And then you have and the lateral would be like 10 >> 10 and seven. >> One. >> Okay. >> And then the bicuspid >> K9's. >> Oh, the K9. The K9. >> Then you go to K9. >> The K9. Hold on a second. So the K9 is going to be like 11 and 8. Is that right? >> Six. >> 11 and six. 11 and six. 11 and six. Right. Go to Okay. 11 and six. Okay. And then what's after the >> then you get then you have first and second by husband. So you have it's easier to go one through 16 and like you're going middle back >> which is a way to do it but if you go tooth one upper right and you go across all the way to the upper left then you get to the last. >> Now let me ask 16. I knew a couple guys who were like this and I know what the cause was. So I actually know the answer at least in the two guys I knew like this. What if you saw a patient who had not not saying they had pearly white teeth but like the normal color teeth you know within normal range maybe a little coffee stained. >> Okay. >> And they had one tooth. Let's say it was one of the central top central insizers that was >> brown. >> Gray. >> Yeah. >> Like a gray color. >> Yeah. Yeah. So I know the two guys who had that. I know how they got it. >> But you tell me what that causes. What What causes that? >> So if the tooth turns like a gray color, it's usually that the nerve the nerve is dead. Yeah. >> Um >> Sure. But what caused it? Could be trauma. >> Yeah. What kind of trauma >> will cause the gray color? >> Oh, I I mean it could be multiple things. >> What kind of behavior? What kind of behavior? >> Rowdy. >> Two guys. What' you say? Rowdy. >> The two guys I knew each other >> who had a brownish grayish >> um top insizer. Hold on. I want to check the chat and see if any of my smart people in the chat know the uh know the reason or know the the cause for it. Anyone know? I'm looking in the chat. >> Okay, nobody's answering. Usually it's like the nerve died and then but it could be from like getting hit or trampolines are known when you get your knee to your mouth. >> Uh >> okay. So I'm going to tell you >> cavities can make the nerve die. >> The guys treatment will >> Yeah. The guys that I knew who had a dead incizer were uh >> they did a lot of cocaine. >> Oh no. So, so the drugs themselves, they don't so a lot of because I've had many patients that have um like the effect of drug use on their mouth. It usually causes like these cavities at the gum line, these really really really terrible, which is an uncommon place to get a cavity because it's a it's an easily washed area. So like if you like feel where your gum and your tooth meet that area it's it's so smooth and it it's very easy to brush like even if you're not brushing you just drink you know rinse with something it's the first area that gets cleansed. So it's not a common area to get cavities unless you have really really dry mouth which is a issue that is like that you get with drugs. So right well that's what I'm saying. It wasn't a >> more like >> if the nerve was dead, they probably got they probably got hit. >> You think they got hit >> as kids? >> You think it was like a blunt force trauma that >> cuz like the guys I knew who had a dead front insizer, top front insizer is cuz they did a lot of uh snorting. They snorted a lot of drugs and it that's that's no that's not a real thing. >> Unless they hit your mouth, >> you there's different effects of it, but I didn't see it would be on all the teeth. It wouldn't be on one tooth. >> Okay. Very interesting. >> Yeah, they probably got hit. >> Maybe they were fighting over the drug. >> Oh, okay. Fine. All right. So, you're saying there could be a correlation, but it was not caused by drugs. Okay. So, that's good news, I guess, that people can um >> Yes, you can know. >> I actually It's actually really sad. >> I see. Um, so you get those two front permanent teeth at a age about six, the the two front ones, and which is rough because what six-year-old is calm and quiet, you know, they're all wild. So, it's a very big issue. I see probably once a month, and I don't even see kids that much, but once a month I see a kid who knocked the front tooth and either broke it, you know, where they need a root canal and a crown, or they, you know, if it's good, it's just a little chip. But either way, it's a lifetime of dentistry on that tooth. >> So, if you have kids, uh, I don't know. I would if if they're if they have like um you know you know when like kids have use a pacifier and the the front kind of comes out a lot. >> It's it's over like they have a large overjet. >> They everybody says overbite but it's it's overjet. It's like the front teeth are very sticking out. >> Yeah. So you there's something called phase one orthodontics, which I'm not it's it's not for everybody, but for kids that have this very uh protrusive front teeth, I would definitely stick them in some brackets and bring them in because the first thing that hits the floor if they fall are those two front teeth. And those are the kids that I see the most are chips. Mhm. >> Either chip or fractures. But if it's a fracture, it's it's a nightmare because you can't even do really you can't even you can't do implants till they're 18. >> Mhm. >> Okay. Tell us one last >> fascinating dental fact. >> Some rare conditions. There are there's rare a few rare conditions where people can have three sets of teeth. >> Okay. That I'd never heard of that. >> Yep. >> Okay. Tell me about that. >> You can have three sets. I've never seen a full third set, but I've had patients that have some super numer teeth, which is like extra um which is pretty cool actually. But there are there are certain it's usually a syndrome where um it's with other medical issues but they they can have an entire third set of teeth. >> What other medical issues come along with that? >> That particular one I'm not sure but there is a lot of dental there's a lot of syndromes that have dental uh like dental signs and symptoms too. So like certain certain certain conditions where like affect the bone um like displas of the bone can also cause like enamel dysplasia where the enamel's malformed or then there's ones where it affects the middle layer of the tooth which is the dentin dentinal disysplasia and and a lot of them go with the bone um the bone uh issues because the same >> components that make up your bone is is the same that make up your teeth. >> Yes. Okay. So, you're saying people who have too many teeth >> also can have bone issues. God forbid. >> Yeah. Yeah. It could be too many teeth or or less. You could also be missing or you could be having the composition of the tooth. >> Okay. I just I just Googled it. Hyperdontia. >> That's Yeah, that's extra teeth. Yeah. >> And there there's all kinds of wild >> Wait, hold on a second. Somebody with hyperdantia, like does that mean that just like the baby teeth fall out to make way for the adult teeth that this person loses their adult teeth and then gets the third set of teeth or they don't lose the adult teeth and they just end up with two you like redundant teeth? So the reason the reason your teeth fall out altogether like your primary teeth your baby teeth is the permanent one is growing. >> They call baby teeth primary teeth >> against the root. >> The technical term for baby teeth is primary teeth. >> Yep. >> Do you know why that's confusing? >> Why? >> Primary to me would imply that like these are the main teeth, but they're not the main teeth. These are just the warm-up act. Yeah, I think it's cuz primary like first >> and what do they call the adult teeth >> first? >> P permanent >> permanent. Okay. They don't call it secondary. Primary and secondary. >> No, cuz then I guess you would be like, well, where's your third set? >> Well, some people do have a third set. >> Primary and >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. So you're saying the reason you lose your baby teeth is why >> is your permanent teeth are kind of pushing against the root. They're growing right up against it and it causes resorption. So you know when your baby teeth come out there's just a tiny little crown like tiny. >> Yes. >> But they actually once had a they actually once had a long root pretty long root actually. Not as long as they're permanent but >> Oh >> I always wondered why baby teeth don't have roots on them. I thought they were I thought that they were just little crowns and then I was trying to figure out how they even stay in. I was like, "Well, they don't stay in. That's why they don't stay in. They don't have roots." >> No. The reason cuz if you try to pull like a baby tooth on a on a kid who's not ready to lose that tooth, >> right? Don't do that. >> It's hard. There the Well, sometimes sometimes you have to if it's >> Oh, you're saying if it's like infected, you have to pull it. Okay. You're saying it doesn't just pop out. >> Yeah. like if it's if >> Yeah. >> No, it doesn't. You have to It's not as easy as you would think. Um sometimes it is, but it's definitely not as easy as as a a loose baby tooth, but a tooth that has the root. Um the reason it absorbs is the permanent ones right up against it and it's causing it to slowly kind of disintegrate. If you had a third set, I would imagine uh the same thing happens. The third set of teeth is causing resorption of the root of the second set. >> No. >> Eventually lose. >> No. >> So the adult teeth lose their roots. >> No. No. This is like the that rare condition. >> Yes. I know. But for someone who has that rare condition, the adult teeth lose their roots. The permanent teeth lose their roots. >> I would imagine the same thing happens. I I don't I don't know that for a fact because I've never seen a patient at three steps. But >> oh my gosh, that's crazy. >> But don't worry, our teeth are solid in there. Just as long as you're brushing and flossing. Periodonal disease would cause you to lose teeth prematurely. But >> what does it mean that I dream that my teeth are falling out? >> Everybody does. >> Why Why is that such a common dream? Why do we all dream that our teeth are falling out? They're cracking and pranking, coming out. Why is that happening? Am I grinding my teeth in my sleep? Do you know, by the way, can I tell you something? >> The other night, okay, please don't laugh. I had a dream that I was eating this magnificent giant marshmallow and I woke up and my pillow was gone. I had eaten my I told you don't laugh, please. I had eaten my pillow and in my dream I thought it was a marshmallow. Okay. >> Yeah. >> It's also like >> probably not as tasty. >> Yeah. It's also like in your dream dreaming that you go to the bathroom. That's not a good sign. >> No. No. But this teeth is everybody. >> Okay. Why do we why do we dream that our teeth are coming out? You know, that's not that's probably beyond my realm. >> They don't teach you that in dental school because everything's compartmentalized. >> That hour there. Nope. Oh, I got the tooth fairy's number, but I don't have that answer. Um, probably because we care about our I would say I dream about it cuz I >> Yeah. Well, you dream about looking at teeth. Oh, can I ask you this is like Oh, I feel so bad to ask this question. >> Okay, I'm going to ask it. I have to ask and I could Google it, but I'm I want to talk to you about this. >> I heard, and if you don't want to talk about this, you can just tell me. I don't want to go there, but I heard and I think I even like Google it once to like confirm this. And I actually knew two people who this happened to. Dentists have a really high suicide rate. Like I think cops and dentists have the two highest suicide rates. Have you ever heard that? And if you don't want to talk about this, I I I understand. >> I don't Oh, I don't mind. I don't mind. So, what's up with that? I >> actually have a pretty strong opinion about it. >> Oh, I want to hear about it. >> So, >> sure. Sure. Um Okay. So, >> I'm going to Google professions with the highest suicide rates. >> There's my there's my thought about it. I think the lawyers outbeat us. I I I think the newest uh statistic is that the lawyers are the highest rate. But um and I I feel like I feel like the reason is the the job itself like the dentistry itself can be rewarding but the whole it became again it became just a very expensive business. So, a lot of patients will joke and say, um, oh, this, you know, I'm paying for your next vacation or I'm paying for your kids. I'm paying and it's >> Yeah. >> Oh, I need crowns. Oh, doctor, you must your kid must be doing a fifth year in college. >> I need crowns. Yeah. Those jokes. >> And we And we hear I hear I hear that a lot. And it's it's so it's frustrating a little bit for for the dentist and the patient because I I get it. The the cost of dentistry is outrageous. Insurancees haven't changed their fees. So insurancees haven't actually adjusted their fees for the patient. They haven't started covering more in the last 10 years. But the cost of all things dental are outrageous. Like to to keep an office open, people don't realize how crazy expensive it is. Um, not just not just the basic like payroll and the lights and but the actual supplies and the chair, the dental chair that you know needs needs fixing every you know once in a while. No, not even once in a while. It depends, but it needs fixing here and there. The the cost of the the lab that that that um makes the dentures and the partials and the crowns. By the time you're done, the profit is the only way to make a profit is to charge what you need to charge for the the cost of the service. And we're not even including like the student loan that the dentist has to take, which is an outrageous number um that they have to also pay and the loan for the business. And it just by the end it's like if you don't charge a certain amount then you're you're not going to be able to keep you're not going to stay open. >> Okay. >> And so it all becomes very depressing like you you want to help people but but you're also torn because you >> you need to stay >> can't do like for me it's a blessing. It's a blessing I don't own an office because I would never I would never make it. I could be. I wouldn't cuz I can't I can't. You tell me you're you can't afford it and I'm like, "Oh, it's okay. I'll do it anyway." But that you can't behave like that, >> right? >> So, for some, I guess it can become and and lonely on top of everything because if you're the only dentist, you know, you can't afford to have more than one dentist there. There's not enough. >> Um especially in Florida. I other states are a little different um like mid country. Uh, but in Florida, every step is is a dental office. And I'm sure New York's the same. So, you can't really always afford to have more than one associate. Um, and so you're by yourself. You're doing this dental work. It's not it's not always easy either. Sometimes you have hard cases. Uh, the patient can be a range from grateful to, you know, wishing you never met them. Uh, and I guess some people can't maybe release that stress in a healthy way. And so >> Mhm. >> I actually there's one in our community really sad periodonist who um took his life like maybe >> Yeah. >> less less than 10 years ago, but I remember it. The guy had like three kids, young kids. I I know two dentists who who killed themselves >> personally. I mean just cuz I you know they were you know Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. You have to you have to love any job. You you have to love what you do and you have to be worth the time that you're not with your family or else you need to find something else. >> Mhm. Like for me, that's what I like that's that's another reason I have to love wherever I'm working because that means I'm besides a paycheck, but that's also the place I'm not that that's that's taking away from like where my you know, my kids might need me. >> So if I don't like what I'm doing, I I don't care if it's I'll find something else. >> Yeah. But if you're not solid in your if you're not solid in that like or if you're not willing to let go of like somebody who's like, "No, I only know dentistry and I hate it, but I'm going to still do it." Then you could easily get caught up in the depression. >> Yeah, this is fascinating stuff. I appreciate you talking with me about all this dentistry stuff. Find it interesting. >> Sure. Sure. added bonus >> and thank you for answering my question. >> Yeah, >> I hope it I actually have the my final interview with them tomorrow. So, >> okay. All right. God willing, it'll work >> be with with great success. >> Thank you. Thank you. >> Okay. Amazing. Thanks for calling in. >> Thank you, Rabbi. >> Enjoyed it. >> Have a great night. >> Yeah, you too. Okay. Be well. Okay. Okay. Bashem, that was fun. Um, all right. Well, that was that was a lot of fun. I hope people enjoyed that. I I thought it was interesting. I don't know if you thought it was interesting, but I certainly enjoyed that. And uh yeah. Okay.