Live from Lakewood, NJ: Oorah's Gold Rush with Shlomo Hadarshan as Ronald Reagan

hello America this is Ronald rean it's been a long time but I come to you again from the headquarters of Ura for another segment of Ura fun before we begin our briefing I want to remind all of you that it's still not too late for you to win gold all you need to do is tune in at www.a.org gold today I have the pleasure of announcing to you that late this morning we've launched a new initiative it has always been our belief that everyone should be entitled to have their share everybody should have an opportunity whether your name is Goldstein Goldberg Goldman or gold smith the underlying principle Remains the Same everybody deserves to have an opportunity to own gold as a matter of fact I've contacted my Russian comrades and encouraged them to join in on the gold rush in addition to the aura auction not to mention this Saturday night uran you can win a prize for just a few bucks for five bucks you can call in for a prize which in the Kremlin I think translates to a couple of million Rubles but I the the fact of the matter remains is that I'm aware that this may trigger a crisis all over the world and in the event of such we're prepared for an emergency I've instructed my staff to wake me in case of an emergency I want to be woken even if I'm in the middle of a cabinet meeting I would like to be woken our military is prepared My Philosophy for the military remains clear and simple you join the Army you meet interesting people and kill them I I know you don't mind if I share with you an anecdote or two it was way back during the uh Civil War when General ulyses srant Was preparing his boys for combat and he turns to the soldiers and he says fellas from here on in you're on your own it's man Forman battle and I turned to him and I said en maybe you can show me my man and we'll work this out together I I I found that uh there were's monster I actually found him quite entertaining until I learned that his sole source of nourishment consisted of this jelly beans at that point I turned to the coordinators of Ura and I said Mr Ura tear down that favish I think we have a winner do we okay we're ready to call the winner I'm going to just put down my jelly beans for a moment gives me great pleasure to announce the second prize for today at my age it's a little difficult the winner is Kelly Isaac Shaw from London United Kingdom one bar of gold ah United Kingdom oh well we should wait this fellow no matter what he is even if he's in middle of drinking tea I think we ought to wake him congratulations Kelly and uh may God bless you