Little Lies, Big Dramas: Toldot Unfiltered - Tehila Gimpel: The Land of Israel Fellowship

so this coming week is toote and toote I'm going to call this little lies I want to talk about the little bitty Li the little bitty Li uh in this coming Torah portion um you know last week I spoke about willful blindness about that kind of ability that we have to sort of light ourselves and and try to not see the uncomfortable things that we don't want to see this week I want to look at when we actually go one step further and we find ways to justify for all the right reasons these itty bitty lies and what does that actually do to our lives you know this Torah portion is so interesting because I I I'm GNA give you guys some homework okay does everybody want homework I'm GNA give you a little exercise because this is the exercise I've been doing all week read stories of the portion of too starting from when uh starting from the beginning of the pregnancy of Rebecca and going until Jacob runs away you can read the story four times but each time only think only read it knowing what one of the characters knows like just write it from rifka's perspective like what does she know and how does this story look for her and then you can tell the story a totally different way only knowing what Y what Isaac knows but then there's what ASA knows knows and that's a totally other narrative and then there's what Jacob knows and that's a totally different narrative sometimes like the some of the interpreters of the Torah say that no everyone was really sharing a lot of information with everybody but but the Torah actually goes out of its way to tell us when people do know things that are going on and that doesn't tell us some and there there's information that it doesn't tell us that the other characters know and so I just want to kind of break this down everything starts well enough in the Isaac Rebecca marriage you know something fun fact Isaac is actually the only person in the entire Bible that says that he loved his wife this is like a really special couple no one later in anywhere in the Torah does it say that they love their wife ISAC loved Rebecca and if you just think about it he's praying in front of her does that mean he's opening his heart to her she's able to see his heart he's just being an open book to her completely honest like where he is he's not just saying to her oh yeah yeah I'm not worried about it we're going to have a baby and then running off and praying oh gosh Hashem I'm so nervous about this he's showing her exactly what his heart is and that's really comforting to her and and she's able to see that he's praying for her they're together like you would imagine them in that room just sort of sharing their hearts with one another right but then things start to go off the rails rifka's struggling in this pregnancy what do you expect her to do I mean she's married to a prophet she doesn't go and ask Isaac it says that she goes to seek God she goes to seek God and whatever that means she ends up getting this prophecy that there are these two Nations now nowhere in the story does it tell us that she actually shared that Prophecy with Isaac so it can be that they're going into their entire child rearing parenting career with one with with one knowing what lies ahead and the other parent not knowing at all meaning that the Torah leaves that open-ended but it doesn't at the very least the Torah doesn't tell us that she told him so we're at least supposed to go into the story the Torah is inviting us as the readers to go into that story under the assumption that I think might very well not know what's actually up ahead now they're raising these boys and you kind of get a hint of this because it says that Isaac loved asov why the Torah actually gives us a reason says because he's a really good Hunter like he's obvious successful he's the big strong muscular athletic jock son and then ja like Hashem forgive me he's like your son he's the one sitting in the sitting in the tent he's he's studying he's quiet and Isaac has a reason it tells us the reason and then it says and Rebecca loved Jacob does it give a reason it doesn't give a reason why doesn't it give a reason maybe because we are the readers and we already know the reason we already know the reason because of the prophecy but it's like as if to tell you Isaac's reason is already on the table it's just it's like it's obvious he he expresses it he explains it but R's reason is like more cryptic she hasn't shared necessarily that prophecy so there's already the beginning of this much less uh transparent kind of behavior from riska than what than what Isaac was having towards her and then you have another little subtle um dishonesty you have this subtle dishonesty Isaac says I want to bless asov before I die and then what does Rebecca tell Jacob she says run run run your father wants to give a blessing and what does she say does she just give a blessing she says give a blessing before God there's another little subtle change did Isaac say anything about wanting to bless asov before God now why is that important because we see that Isaac actually has two blessings to give one is for physical blessing physical abundance and that's what He blesses Jacob with thinking that he was asov and then later in the portion we find out out that he that he was planning on blessing Jacob anyway with the spiritual blessing The Godly blessing sorry The Godly Blessing of Abraham and so it's possible that she was trying to persuade Jacob to do this whole plan by telling him that this was going to be the blessing that he was more interested in The Godly blessing the blessing that was passed down through Abraham not just a blessing of physical things that probably didn't interest Jacob that much so we have another little you know subtle deception and then it doesn't end there when she's worried about Jacob needing to run away what does she tell Jacob she says to Jacob run away because you have to get away from your brother what does she say to Isaac I want him to leave so that he can get married there's this constant mod on tiny little lies that end up leading to this massive deception of dressing Jacob up and then to cover up the outcome of that we need more of these small little lies and what happened they sort of beat away at the fabric of the relationships in the family now what's really interesting is you know on the one hand you say well what choice did she have she knew who was the good one and she couldn't would let the bad one get the blessing right like you have to really feel for Rebecca do you guys know what I mean like you feel for her because she's doing this for such a good reason what choice did she have but then here's the thing that's so interesting this isn't the first time that this is happening in the Bible because all we have to do is look back to Abraham and Sarah Sarah also was able to identify who was the good one and when even God himself said you know you're going to have Isaac what did say to Hashem said if only ishma could walk before you just like Y is not seeing the darker side he's a loving they're loving fathers and they're not seeing the darker sides of their children that the mothers that the that their wives are able to identify prophetically and then what happens they actually put it on the table they hash it out what does Sarah say she says I am so angry at you she actually says that she's putting on him she says Myas is on you this Kamas there's going to be responsibility ofas on you for not listening to me that's how serious this fight gets the fight gets so bad that God himself has to referee between them but you know truthfully they resolve it painfully but truthfully but what happens is is that here they do the opposite there's this Cascade of in imagine if Sarah instead of just facing Abraham had somehow like ish disappear and like just sort of like oh I sent him off to do some chores and like that would have destroyed the fabric of their relationship she saved their relationship by having this fight she saved their relationship she saved the family structure and in the end we see that they're really the end of the story there really seems to be peace in the family she saved it by saying her truth and hashing it out even if it needed God to referee them even if God himself had to come and settle them from their squabble at least they had it out and they lived it out in truth and they were able to save the fabric of their family here we have this Cascade of good intentions but little lies that lead to bigger lies and bigger lies it's all for the sake of fulfilling prophecy but in the end of the day is it your job to fulfill the prophecy or is it your job to just walk in Truth Now what's so devastating in reading this story is that at any point you can stop and retell the story as you can tell I've played around with this story all week you can stop and retell the story without the lies and the story turns out better like imagine if at any point the truth would have been spoken what if in the beginning Rifka told yok about the prophecy told him what was going on with the kid that at some point but she stood before him and said you know just like Sarah we have to re we have to like let's talk about how we're raising the kids let's talk about who should get the blessings and you know at any point if she when when when Isaac said I want to bless ASA what if at that point she would have said I am seriously putting my foot down and not allowing this to happen he loved her he loved her he wanted to hear her but she was so certain that it was all on her to fulfill God's Vision that everything became okay on the way towards reaching that and you know it's horrible to say but you know and it's horrible to say these things because it's not to say this to to to blame Rifka these stories are here because they're cautionary tales for us because they're so real they're so painful because they're so real and you can't put all of this responsibility only on Rebecca because you have to ask yourself well why did she feel like she had to lie not that it you know answers the question but the few stories that we have about Isaac it's abundantly obvious that he does not like conflict because look what happens with the wells people fill up his Wells he fixes them but then what does he do the Torah takes great pains to tell us that he moves away he goes somewhere else he doesn't want to fight for his wealth so Rifka knows that she has a husband who really doesn't want conflict every time there's a couple where one couple where where one side is sort of lying to the other there's another side there perhaps I if always but at least in this story that's encouraging that and enabling that in some kind of way like Isaac is saying I just I don't want to have these fights even when he's suspicious that Jacob might that ASA might not actually be ASA and that it might be Jacob he doesn't want to Hash that out he doesn't want to Hash that out he doesn't want to probe it any farther and so in this Dynamic that's created between the two of them there's this sort of fertile ground for just untruthfulness and then what happens to that what happens in the end you know there's this painful part where Rifka says where Jacob says I don't want to lie I don't want to lie I don't want to be cursed no I don't think that he really thought that his father was going to curse him he doesn't want the curses that come along with living aive and what does Rebecca say to him goes' don't worry the curse will be on me now on the one hand that's so courageous she goes I'll take all the curses on me like I am taking full responsibility that we need to fulfill God's plan and it's all on me but at the end of the day he says your curse is going to be on me it really was because look what happens to her and it didn't have to be that way but she takes it upon herself and then look what actually happens to her what actually happens to her is there's Strife between her and her husband there's Strife between the brothers and then eventually Jacob leaves because of all the Strife between the brothers and then what's so devastating is that when we keep on reading the story she sends him away she goes I'll call you back when your you know when your brother forgets about it she never calls him back seemingly she never saw him again she sent him away saying I don't want to lose the two of you and then what happens is she actually ends up at at the very least losing the one that she that was her most beloved she ends up losing Jacob what's even more devastating you don't even see us we don't even read about her death in the Torah we don't know how long she lived we don't know any more stories about her after this so it's like she prophesies she goes don't worry the curse is on me but it it she actually brought that that that actually happened and it was avoidable if at any Point like we she might not have known that in her place where she was standing it looked like we had to do this in order to bring God's Vision to reality but us as the readers are blessed to read this as a cautionary tale so if what we were learning last week was on making sure to not allow ourselves to be willfully blind I think this is a cautionary tale of being so careful so careful in our speech especially inside of a family but not let those teeny tiny Lies start to eat away at our relationship just to keep the peace this story is a story that tells us that at any point the truth could have healed them and they didn't they didn't go that way and that that sort of follows Jacob for the rest of his life it's a lesson that keeps on following him because other people continue to lie to him throughout his life he continues to be surrounded by people who lie and that's why we say Hashem give truth to Jacob Jacob comes to actually represent truthfulness as his sort of spiritual embodiment because that is the ultimate lesson of his life and so many times in our personal lives we can find every reason to tell this small untruth but the Torah is cautioning us against that and then in our look you know you don't have to look very far into our public life the things that were asked to lie about in the world when you see a person with a beard and nail polish you're supposed to say that that's a woman to not hurt their but all these little lies all these little lies when you see Hamas amassing weapons you're supposed to say that those are peaceloving humanitarians we have to say that that terrorists are are Freedom Fighters and we have to say that Israeli you know we but you know in the world you're expected to say that Israelis are doing genocide it's the worst genocide I've ever seen the they've just found out that the population of Gaza actually grew over the last year we're we're told told that we have to tell these small lies just to keep the peace just to not hurt anyone's feelings just to not get in trouble and this paraa is setting the bar for us showing us what happens and what could have been imagine what could have been if somebody just stood up and spoke the truth people just spoke the truth to one another so with that I wish you guys a great week